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you are now manually breathing

twitchquotes: :) you are now manually breathing :) you are now manually blinking :) you are aware that your tongue cannot find a comfy place in your mouth :) you are aware of all the itches on your body that need to be scratched :)
twitch chat
July 2017

Can you take it easy with your complaints about Flamestrike?

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp. Can you take it easy with your complaints about Flamestrike? My friend is a developer at Blizzard and he invented Flamestrike. He has been getting spam letters in the mail threatening to "brofist" him. These spammers claim to be "insane" and "crazy" and "have exactly what they need to beat him." I am worried for him, please help. Thanks man.
twitch chat
August 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

Waiting for adblock to be disabled

No one this year has a chance against TL

twitchquotes: Hate to break it to you, but no one this year has a chance against TL. They are easily the best team in the world this year, and its easy to see why. You have Impact, former world champion and the tank god ready to reclaim his title, and there is nothing that will stand in his way. Xmithie, the legendary jungle who knows the ins and outs of every single part of the game, ask him how much damage krugs will do to Anivia jungle at level 2 with just the starting item? He knows. Ask him where Mlxg will be at 20:43 into the game when its only 10:12? He can give you an area accurate to withing 500 units. You have Jensen, easily clapping perkz, caps, and your mum, as well as dominating the inferior Chinese and Korean mids. You have Doublelift, so called because he can carry twice as hard as any other ADC in the game, backed up by CoreJJ, a world champion who is so accurate with his Thresh hooks Riot had to program in a random number generator just to make sure he misses at least 20% of them to keep it fair to the enemy. Anyone who thinks EU, China, Korea, or any other team has a chance this year is straight up wrong.
twitch chat
August 2019

League of Legends

Roach boy =)

twitchquotes: no stories need bro =) yur on welfare not me=p so how is no job going for ya anyway? bottom feeding like your parents before u =) atta boy! stay at the bottom =) be a good lil roach. my job wouldnt be such a joke if it wasnt for u fools =) keep me comfy at the top =) its good to sit above roaches like u =)
twitch chat
June 2015
Reynad

My brother won’t stop saying “ITS MORBING TIME!”

Someone for the fucking life of me help my brother (22) won’t stop saying “ITS MORBING TIME!” he found these words on fb or something and said its stuck in his mind and everytime he wakes up, shits, sleeps, pisses, EVERYTHING he says “its morbing time!” I’m losing my sanity, fuck you morbius. That was very un-morb
June 2022

Morbius

I used to be a real ad

lol not actually laughing

twitchquotes: Hi tyler1, i was just wondering as to why you type "lol" in the chat but on camera you are not actually laughing?
twitch chat
March 2019
Tyler1

WE ARE ALL FRIENDS IN TWITCH CHAT

twitchquotes: <3 NA THIS <3 EU THAT <3 WE ARE ALL FRIENDS <3 IN TWITCH CHAT! <3
twitch chat
August 2018

EU vs NA

Wait Aurateur is actually bald?

twitchquotes: I’ve been blind since birth. After restorative eye surgery I got a new lease on life. I can drive, watch TV, see the sunset. But more importantly, I can finally truly watch my favorite twitch streamer, Aurateur. From the sounds of it he is a god gamer and the chat is so rambunctious it’s always a good time. Alright, time to log into twitch and see what he’s up to........ Wait this guy is actually bald? lmao I’m outta here
twitch chat
November 2020
Aurateur

Officer Dongerino of the Blizzard PD

twitchquotes: Kripp, This is Officer Dongerino of the Blizzard PD. We need to question you about adjusting your Windows Clock to get ahead on opening Packs. If any of you copy and paste this, you will be subject to banning from Blizzard games forever. Come with me, Kripp
twitch chat
August 2015
Kripp

I'm done with this chat

twitchquotes: That's it, I'm done. *** this chat. It's devolved into a mass of retarded copy pastes and face spam. The quality of twitch chat has been declining for a while, but this is the last straw. That's it. I'm done. I'm uninstalling the internet, chopping off my dick and moving to *** Antarctica, at least the bacteria there will be *** smarter discourse.
twitch chat
March 2014

Classic

(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?

Raise your right and yell Kripp is a sellout

twitchquotes: 4Head RAISE YOUR ⎝ 4Head RIGHT HAND ⎝ 4Head AND YELL ⎝ 4Head KRIPP IS A SELLOUT ⎝ 4Head
twitch chat
July 2017
Kripp

sellout

Curse of the donger king

twitchquotes: Reynad you should know by now that anything and everything I say will get copy and pasted at least 100 times. It's the curse of the donger king. Much like Midas everything I touch turns to copy pasta.
twitch chat
May 2015
Reynad

This is how dangerous parasocial relationships can form (twitter)

This is how dangerous parasocial relationships can form. Dream doesn't love you. He can't love you. Dream doesn't KNOW you. He can appreciate you but he can't fucking love you.
May 2021

COPY THIS GOO TO HELP G2

twitchquotes: COPY BrainSlug THIS BrainSlug GOO BrainSlug TO BrainSlug HELP BrainSlug G2 BrainSlug COPY BrainSlug THIS BrainSlug GOO BrainSlug TO BrainSlug HELP BrainSlug G2 BrainSlug
twitch chat
October 2020
Riot Games

Rhyme Chant

League of Legends

Jake has huge RipTires

twitchquotes: Jake has huge RipTires, he is one of the best players in OWL, when Jake isn`t beating up people in Overwatch, he`s beating people in real life so you better think before you speak, peace out.
twitch chat
April 2018
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

I used to be a real ad

S T A Y W O K E

twitchquotes: 👁👃👁 S T A Y W O K E
twitch chat
April 2017

We are not the same (Amogus edition)

We are not the same For instance You say kid 👦 we say mini-crewmate You say earth 🌎 we say Mira-hq You say suspicious🥷, we say sussy bakas You say “he was murdered so I called the police”, we say “EMERGENCY MEETING” You say “the joke is dead” we say Among us poop mod 2021 (still working) (free) (not click bait)
April 2022

Among Us / Amogus

Can we stop bullying Doc???

twitchquotes: Can we stop bullying Doc??? He is a hard working man, he needs to feed two families.
twitch chat
January 2022
DrDisRespectLIVE

Hey Imaqtpie, I think you should play Kogmaw

twitchquotes: Hey imaqtpie, theres a new champ named kogmaw who i think would be perfect for your playstyle. Kogmaw is capable of doing damage after hes been killed and I think you could really benefit from that passive ability. Hope this helps!
twitch chat
June 2019
imaqtpie

League of Legends

I used to be a real ad

So as joke, I fucked my friend in a Joseph Stalin cosplay

So as a joke, I went to my friend's house wearing Joseph Stalin's mustache and clothes. I could barely stop my laughter as he went as red as the Soviet flag and looked at me from head to toe with a bit of drool in his mouth. The way he stared made made feel a bit funny too, but I decided to tease him more by taking off my clothes. He asked me, "Are you serious?" and I said "Yes,comrade." He went silent for what seemed like forever, so I asked him, "What's the matter,comrade?" He said he's confused, but then his boner got really hard, which made me take off his clothes. I expected him to scream, "Stop!" as I kissed him and stroked his cock, but he instead shouted "Not a step back!" which made me get a boner myself. Before I knew it, I was blowing him for the first time till he came. His semen was so thick, it got stuck inside my throat no matter how hard I swallowed. He then said, "I want to fuck you now!" and seeing that we've already gone that far and we were both naked, I obliged. A few hours later, the jerk went all pale and said to me "Why did we do that? Now I'm not fucking straight." But he still looked so cute all confused like that, so I took pity on him and reassured while wiping his cum off my face, "Let's just pretend I'ms till Joseph Stalin."
September 2021

NSFW

Text-to-Speech Playing