[Copypasta] you are now manually breathing

twitchquotes: :) you are now manually breathing :) you are now manually blinking :) you are aware that your tongue cannot find a comfy place in your mouth :) you are aware of all the itches on your body that need to be scratched :)
twitch chat
July 2017
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LCK AKA ā€œliterally canā€™t killā€

twitchquotes: LCK AKA ā€œliterally canā€™t killā€ is the most boring major region internationally known for their low tempo boring gameplay, their premier caster LS aka ā€œliterally sleepingā€ and owning the record for the longest league game of all time.
twitch chat
October 2020
Riot Games

League of Legends

My dong strong and hard as diamond

twitchquotes: No one believed in my dong, but when I raised it, QTpie saw it and found a shred of potential in it. Then he believed. And all the others did as well. QTpie believes, and now so do I. I shall climb these mountains of Gold, destroy those Platinum plebs, and then, and only then, my dong will be strong and hard. As a diamond.
twitch chat
July 2014
imaqtpie

League of Legends

I hate April Fool's Day

Iā€™m fucking shaking and crying right now yā€™all, and people arenā€™t taking me seriously. This is a DUMB FUCKING HOLIDAY, where people say shit that ISNā€™T FUCKING REAL for NO REASON. Iā€™ve cut off 8 family members already for falling for this shriveled up, half-assed ANNUAL CORPORATE FIG LEAF like the NPC SHEEP THEY ARE. Maybe if they listened to REAL COMEDY like Bill Maher or political satire that validates what I already believe in, theyā€™d be WORTHY OF INTERACTING WITH. BUT NO, I have to scroll through my timeline, seething, wailing and gnashing my teeth as Iā€™m BOMBARDED BY LOW EFFORT CORNY CAPITALIST PROPOGANDA. THIS IS A SERIOUS DAY. Iā€™m allowed to be this pressed about ha-ha corny joke day because ITā€™S SERIOUS FOR ME AND THEREFORE SHOULD BE FOR EVERYONE. My great uncle was tragically flattened while trying to rob a coca-cola vending machine on this date, and PEOPLE ARE STILL MAKING CORNU FUKUNG JOKES. Iā€™ve had enough
April 2021

THIS GAME IS AMAZING

twitchquotes: PogChamp THIS GAME IS AMAZING! PogChamp (Five dollars were deposited in your PayPal Account. Please, remove this part of the message before pasting it in the chat, thank you and have a nice day!)
twitch chat
May 2017

sellout

I once knew this man. He was from the ocean

twitchquotes: I once knew this man. He was from the ocean. He did very Ocean-y things. He took me by the hand to take me to the land that you understand. He was the crust of a tan man imbibed by the sand, Soaking up the thirst of the land. Soaking up the thirst of the land. His Shin was in the shape of an "O". Don't know what to call him though...any ideas?
twitch chat
June 2017
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