[Copypasta] you are now manually breathing

twitchquotes: :) you are now manually breathing :) you are now manually blinking :) you are aware that your tongue cannot find a comfy place in your mouth :) you are aware of all the itches on your body that need to be scratched :)
twitch chat
July 2017
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Reporting a streamer named "TSM_Kripp"

twitchquotes: Hello twitch admins. I am here to report a streamer named "TSM_Kripp". She is currently violating the new twitch rules, and is constantly moaning suggestively in her stream. I am trying to watch her game but she just keeps yelling "TOPDICK" or "INSANE" after she gets rekt. Please take action against her as soon as you can. Thank you.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Am I The Asshole for not being able to trade options for my dad? I’m 6.

This started about 4 years ago when I was 2 years old. My dad started to supplement me picture books and cartoons with beginner options books and Martin Shkerli's live videos on how to pick pharmaceutical stocks. Over the course of these years I have retained absolutely nothing even though my dad has spent every waking minute trying to make me understand. He has done almost everything including having Jerome Powell's speeches play while I am sleeping and only having Warren Buffet on the TV to try and make me understand the market. Yesterday, he got to a breaking point when I couldn't differentiate between a straddle and a strangle even though we went through different strategies for almost a month straight. My dad finally convinced my mom that they were doing the right thing when he said that I will soon be a Wendy's worker begging my wife's husband for a weekly allowance because I will never amount to be anything. He couldn't fathom raising a kid who was not able to able to make a profit from trading options by the time he was 10. With all that said, if anyone wants a 6 year old child who is shitty at market strategy, plz adopt me from Eternal Sunny Orphanage in Omaha, Nebraska.
September 2021

WallStreetBets

Am I The Asshole?

Faeria created a strategy...

twitchquotes: Faeria created a strategy that revolved around sponsoring popular streamers without requiring any enjoyable gameplay. Trying to promote new and innovative games makes an overall stream more fun and compelling, but not bothering to explain the game and leaving the chat confused during the entire stream is not particularly fun or interactive.
twitch chat
April 2016
Kripp

You have been gifted another INCOMING HYDRA

twitchquotes: ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ You have been gifted another INCOMING HYDRA. Type HandsUp to summon. ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
twitch chat
September 2020

KappaPride

Pleb

twitchquotes: “Pleb” is a shorthand for the English noun “plebeian,” an outdated term which originally referred to a commoner belonging to a lower socioeconomic class in ancient Rome. Online, the term has been often used as a pejorative label for someone who is considered unsophisticated or uncultured, or a person that can be compared as poor to the speaker.
twitch chat
May 2015
Trump
Text-to-Speech Playing