I used to be a real ad
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I like pom

twitchquotes: I like pom. You read that wrong. You have a dirty mind and I hope you have a bad day. Goodbye and please go to church. Cleanse your mind, soul and body. Thank you.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

without throwing your cat across the room

twitchquotes: Hello this is Twitch staff. Unfortunately we have been notified that you have now reached 24 hours of stream time without throwing your cat across the room. As stated in our TOS, we require that all streamers must throw at least one pet a distance of 3 metres on camera in order to maintain the ability to stream. Failure to do so will result in your stream being disabled permanently. We will now unfortunately have to terminate your account. Thank you for your cooperation.
twitch chat
November 2019
I used to be a real ad

Diablo 2 is a top down shooter from the 1800s

twitchquotes: Hi Octavian, I've been watching your stream for some days now and I really enjoy it! Actually no, I hate it. You think you're always right when you play that cardgame and now you're playing some topdown shooter from the 1800's, dude grow up. Kid ( ° ͜ʖ͡°)╭∩╮
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Urgot demands playtime!

twitchquotes: Dear Mr Rodriguez Qtpie. This is Urgot, the best ranged champion since Thresh ADC. I must confess that I find your consistant playing of other ADCs whilst neglecting me racist. Urgot demands playtime!! Kappa
twitch chat
December 2014
imaqtpie

A concerned Christian parent writes to Imaqtpie

twitchquotes: Hello Mr. 'Cute the Pie'! I am a concerned Christian parent, who caught my son Lil' Johnny watching your SMUT, and if you dont COVER YOUR DONGER IMMEDIATELY, you will be reported to the authorities! DO NOT copy and paste this!
twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie
I used to be a real ad

Mayan donger predictions

twitchquotes: 乁₪((☼Ữ☼))₪ㄏ Mayan donger predicts the end of the world will be upon us when dongers stop raising.
twitch chat
November 2014
Forsen

Instead of reading any of those, you decided to read this copypasta.

Moby Dick, The Grapes of Wrath, Tom Sawyer Instead of reading any of those, you decided to read this copypasta. No wonder you're retarded.
December 2020

Albert Einsteinerino

twitchquotes: hello kripp, my name is Albert Einsteinerino, and I've been a huge fan of yours. You've inspired me to quit my physics degree and pursue my dream of playing video games all day asking for donations from people. Thank you for motivating me to go after my dream
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

chat I took an iq test yesterday

twitchquotes: chat I took an iq test yesterday and it turns out I'm a certified genius. don't let this affect your opinion of me. I'm one of you.. maybe just a little bit better and smarter and hotter. I'm still Pepega at heart, albeit 5Head in brain.
twitch chat
April 2021

Reynad, this is excellent music

twitchquotes: Reynad, this is excellent music. I'm slowly stroking my shaft to it. With each card you drop I grip slightly tighter, the smooth jazz elevator music hybrid piping in my soft supple ears. You sexy bastard you
twitch chat
December 2014
Forsen
Waiting for adblock to be disabled

All becoming better than Kripp

twitchquotes: When Kripp misplay, I want to show him my knowledge. I Criticize his gaming abilities and call him the noob. all becoming better than kripp
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp

See you in court

twitchquotes: Hello Kripp, this is Anne, just letting you know that the DNA test came back positive and I will be seeing you in court to get my child support. Oh and btw she is now 4 years old and asking where is daddy ***, either way see you in court..
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

This is Catarrian's mother

twitchquotes: Hello Octavian, this is the Catarrian's mother. I am writing to in human words because the Catarrian feels he has been mistreated. He tells me "meow" which means that he feels you are not giving him enough stream time. And he also said "Nyaa," which means you better pet the Catarrian
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Four Asians streamed together in harmony...

twitchquotes: (`.´) Trump. (`.´) Amaz. (`.´) MaSsan. (`.´) Hafu. A few months ago the four Asians streamed together in harmony. Then, everything changed when ( ͝° ͜ʖ͡°) Forsen's Snus Brotherhood attacked. Only (◉ل͟◉) Reynad, master of the Salt could stop them, but when Twitch needed him most - he was too busy complaining on stream. ( ͠°ل͟ ͠°)
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Evere Time Kripe Bro Fist I Put Balls On Compotur Scren

twitchquotes: Evere Tim Kripe Bro Fist I Put Balls On Compotur Scren. Maek Kripe Look Gay Haha Kripe Touchballs
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp
I used to be a real ad

Shame on you guys,copying and pasting like sheeps

twitchquotes: Is this seriuous,human race?This is what we have become?Shame on you guys,copying and pasting like sheeps,do you even read what are you copying,God have mercy on these poor souls,they know not what they do...
twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie

Papparian returns from a business trip

twitchquotes: Hello Kripp, Papparian here. I recently returned from my business trip. All the furniture is gone, my bank accounts are empty and I found out you moved to Europe. What in the heck is going on???
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Dadnad and Momnad

twitchquotes: hello son, Dadnad here. Please don't waste your life away in front of that computer playing some card game. Text that girl, Lea, and play that guitar for her. Did I ever tell you that's how I woo'd Momnad? Kids these days, don't let me down, son.
twitch chat
May 2014
Reynad

Kripp and the Hardcore Police

twitchquotes: ༼ ▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿ ༽ Kripp, this is the hardcore police, it has come to our attention that you RIP in peace above the allowed average hardcore limit. We are here to inform you that your channel prefix must be changed into cl (casual-life) as a repercussion to better represent your current lifestyle. This will be the last warning. ༼ ▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿ ༽ ᴊ
twitch chat
May 2014
Kripp
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?

Chuck Testa and Cattarian

twitchquotes: Hey Kripparian its me Chuck Testa. I'd personally like to Taxidermize your friend beast Cattarian. "Hey Kripp, it's me Cattarian and I approve of this method!" NOOOOPE it's just me Chuck Testa. Your cat would appreciate being worshiped and praised in the afterlife though. So, lets get that cats body and let me do my hobby.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing