twitchquotes:
𝑇ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡 ℎ𝑎𝑠 𝑏𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑐𝑒𝑛𝑠𝑜𝑟𝑒𝑑 𝑑𝑢𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝐸𝑢𝑟𝑜𝑝𝑒𝑎𝑛 𝑈𝑛𝑖𝑜𝑛’𝑠 𝑐𝑜𝑝𝑦𝑟𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑙𝑎𝑤.
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Infinite poop
twitchquotes:
Infinite poop. You sit on the toilet to poop, but the poop never stops coming out of your butt. You have to start flushing the toilet every two minutes to keep up. You try to pinch your butt closed but that makes your insides hurt. The poop accelerates. You call 911. The paramedics call for doctors. The doctors call for specialists. The story trends on Twitter. You turn down talk show appearances. Your septic tank fails. People form a cult. Your toilet is finished. Volunteers arrive with buckets and shovels. You are completely used to the smell. The poop accelerates. You are moved to a stepladder with a hole in the top step. The poop accelerates. The shovelers abandon the buckets and shovel directly out the window. The poop accelerates. A candlelight vigil forms around your house. One of the workers falls over and can't free himself. The poop accelerates. A priest knocks over the stepladder and tackles you out the window. You land in the pile. The poop accelerates. The force now propels you forward and upward. Vigil goers grab at your legs. The poop ignites from their candles. The Facebook live event hits 1 million viewers. The poop accelerates. You are 30 feet in the air. The fire engulfs the vigil and your house. 60 feet. The poop accelerates. The torrent underneath you is deafening. 5 million Facebook live viewers. You try to close up shop but your butthole disintegrated long ago. 120 feet up. Your house explodes. The poop accelerates. 1000 feet. You are now tracked on radar. You try to change your angle of ascent but you should have thought of that way earlier. The poop accelerates. 4,000 feet. NORAD upgrades to DEFCON 3. Concentric circles of fire engulf your city. The poop accelerates. You have broken the sound barrier. 30,000 feet. You no longer take in enough oxygen to sustain consciousness. 60,000 feet. CNN is reporting on all the world records you've broken. 200,000 feet. You are no longer alive. The poop accelerates. Your body disintegrates but your poop contrail remains. NASA can no longer track you. You break the light-speed barrier and we can no longer bear witness. The poop accelerates. Forever.
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Classic
mizkifS
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⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣶⣿⣿⣶⣦⣄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⣏⠉⠉⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣏⠄⢘⣿⣿⣿⡄⢘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⣀⣼⣿⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄
⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠁⠈⠙⠛⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄
⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣀⣠⣴⡾⠟⠛⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄
⠄⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠶⠶⠶⠶⠾⠛⠋⠉⠉⠁⠄⢀⣀⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠄
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⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⠄
Black and white filter feature for League of Legends
twitchquotes:
Hi Imaqtpie, I've noticed that recently you've been using the black and white filter™ feature for league of legends for nearly the entire game. Me and everyone else in the chat would appreciate it if you turn it off, thank you.
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imaqtpie
League of Legends
Smartest Man in Existence
twitchquotes:
When I was in school I used to have an IQ of 15. My classmates used to harass me for not being that smart. But since 2013, my life has changed. My IQ is now 195 and it increases by 5 every time I sit down on Saturday nights to watch this one show. It is called Rick and Morty. Because of that, I get all the girls and people are always comparing me to Albert Einstein, some even say that I am the cure for cancer. When the government found out that I watch Rick and Morty, they showed up to my residence and took me to a secret facility to take an exam. The exam was about explaining all the jokes in Rick and Morty and I had to answer each question in all currently spoken languages. Since I watched Rick and Morty, I didn't have any problems and I completed it in 30 minutes. The next day, I got to see the results and I passed the exam with a score of 100%. They gave me the title "Smartest Man in Existence". Guess I am out of this world.
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Rick and Morty
Die spider!
twitchquotes:
༼ ಠل͟ಠ༽︻デ=一 DIE SPIDER /ก็็็็็็็็็็็็็╲/\╭(▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿)╮/\╱ก็็็็็็็็็็็็็\
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Forsen