Hey teach I was wondering, what is a ratio. You see yesterday when I was on Twitter Dot Com I got HELLA ratio'd because I don't know how to spell whens day. I mean really why should I care about english like really its like americaneese and America is super racist they had slaves. Anyways teach back to what I was asking how the fuck do I get my twitter unsuspended.
I used to be a real ad
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AITA for slapping a stand-up comedian who dissed my wife?
AITA for slapping a stand-up comedian who dissed my wife?
Okay, little background.
My (53M) wife (50F) has a medical condition called Alopeca Areata, which basically means she has excessive hair loss, and is currently bald.
My relationship with my wife wasn't stable over the years, and I've caught her cheating on me multiple times, but we've pulled through.
Anyway, we went to an awards show and usually there is a comedian who hosts the show and makes jokes at everybody (in a good way). The comedian was a guy we know (and he knew us), and we had a really good time. At one point, he mentioned me and my wife and I was happy he acknowledged us. But then, he took a jab at my wife about her condition, which I thought was way out of line, but I laughed out of embarrassment. My wife, on the other hand, was not laughing at all and rolled her eyes. At that moment I knew I had to stand up for her. I got up on stage, smacked the sh*t out of the guy, and went back to my seat. The comedian was shocked and really wasn't expecting my reaction. He wanted to keep talking about my wife but I shouted at him to stop. Usually I don't curse, but I was really pissed about the whole situation.
My friends could see I was upset and during the break they came to comfort me, but other people think I'm the asshole.
What do you think?
Am I The Asshole?
Will Smith Slap
Giant Douche
twitchquotes:
If Reynad was a Hearthstone card he'd be a Giant Douche
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Reynad
I finally did it. I out pizza'd the Hut
I finally did it. I out pizza'd the Hut. It was the greatest mistake of my life.
After years of perfecting my recipe, I made my way down to the local hut, fresh-baked pizza pie in hand. "Try this," I told the kid working the counter. He did, and he had to agree that it was better than anything Pizza Hut had to offer. Soon, the entire store, customers included, was feasting on my delicious pie. The manager walked over, grabbed a slice, and took a bite. I look at him, anticipation rising. This was the boss, the local fief lord of the Hut. His approval meant more to me than all the rest combined. He took a bite and nodded. "I'll be damned," he said, "you really did it. You out- pizza'd the Hut. Shame." Shame? What did he mean by tha-- the manager pulled a gun out from behind his apron and shot the nearest customer in the head. "We have a Code Jalapeño," he said into his wrist as he executed the remaining customers. "I repeat, we have a Code Jalapeño." The ground was slick with blood. The kid working the counter choked out his dying breath as the manager turned to me. "You just had to do it motherfucker. You just had to out pizza the Hut." He shoved the gun in my face. I was too scared to fight, too scared to run. The manager pulled the trigger.
A click. The gun was empty. I threw a chair at the manager and scrambled out of the Pizza Hut, not even bothering to see if my missile hit its mark. I was closely pursued by the manager, who had gotten his hands on a deadly sharp pizza cutter. I suspected in his hands it would cut more than pizza. Somehow, I was able to get into my car and speed off, the manager cursing my existence as I left him behind. I took a deep breath. The manager was clearly psychotic. Yes, that was it, just a crazy man with a gun. It had to be. My phone rang. Sister. I picked it. "They're dead, she sobbed. They're all dead. Mom, Dad, Chris, Bill. Dead. They killed them all." I could barely understand her, so great were her sobs. "What do you mean? Where are you?" I asked urgently. "How is this possi--" A single gunshot sounded through my phone's speakers. Silence. Then, I heard a man's voice. "No one out pizzas the Hut." He hung up. I drove down the empty country road, mind blank. I had nothing. They killed my family. I was alone.
At that moment I knew what I had to do. They took everything from me. Well then, I would take everything from them. Pizza Hut was so terrified of being out pizza'd, they forgot there's one thing worse than a man with a recipe: A man with nothing to lose. I'll give them a limited time offer they won't be able to refuse: two bullets for the price of one.
With a free side order of pain.
Disgrace to all Morosans
twitchquotes:
Ｏｃｔａｖｉａｎ Ｍｏｒｏｓａｎ， ｔｈｉｓ ｉｓ ｙｏｕｒ ｇｒｅａｔ ｇｒｅａｔ ｇｒａｎｄｐａｒｒｉａｎ， Ｉ ａｍ ｃｏｎｔａｃｔｉｎｇ ｙｏｕ ｆｒｏｍ ｂｅｙｏｎｄ ｔｈｅ ｇｒａｖｅ ｔｏ ｔｅｌｌ ｙｏｕ ｔｈａｔ ｙｏｕ ａｒｅ ａ ｄｉｓｇｒａｃｅ ｔｏ ａｌｌ Ｍｏｒｏｓａｎｓ ｂｅｃａｕｓｅ ｏｆ ｙｏｕｒ ｒｅｃｅｎｔ ｓｗｉｔｃｈ ｔｏ ｂｅｉｎｇ ａ ｃａｓｕａｌ． Ｐｌｓ ｎｏ Ｍａｓｅｒａｔｉ
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Kripp
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