Moby Dick, The Grapes of Wrath, Tom Sawyer
Instead of reading any of those, you decided to read this copypasta.
No wonder you're retarded.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Hi my nam is Rebuken from Yugoslavia
twitchquotes:
Hi my nam is Rebuken Im Challenged 5 in yugoslavic server 550 ping. You big insperatino to me and wish we can trio duo queueue so we be the best league of llemons team in america. I has green car to go to america and i barely speako englisho. this is transalte from gaagle pro. Byes XOXO, kiss love. 
twitch chat
imaqtpie
League of Legends
If you shit in the sink at exactly 4:20 am and yell “amogus” 69 times
If you shit in the sink at exactly 4:20 am and yell “amogus” 69 times,a shadowy figured called mom will come to beat you up and you will wake up in a place called the orphanage
Among Us / Amogus
Classic
Am I The Asshole for not being able to trade options for my dad? I’m 6.
This started about 4 years ago when I was 2 years old. My dad started to supplement me picture books and cartoons with beginner options books and Martin Shkerli's live videos on how to pick pharmaceutical stocks. Over the course of these years I have retained absolutely nothing even though my dad has spent every waking minute trying to make me understand. He has done almost everything including having Jerome Powell's speeches play while I am sleeping and only having Warren Buffet on the TV to try and make me understand the market. Yesterday, he got to a breaking point when I couldn't differentiate between a straddle and a strangle even though we went through different strategies for almost a month straight. My dad finally convinced my mom that they were doing the right thing when he said that I will soon be a Wendy's worker begging my wife's husband for a weekly allowance because I will never amount to be anything. He couldn't fathom raising a kid who was not able to able to make a profit from trading options by the time he was 10. With all that said, if anyone wants a 6 year old child who is shitty at market strategy, plz adopt me from Eternal Sunny Orphanage in Omaha, Nebraska.
WallStreetBets
Am I The Asshole?
Head automatically goes to pillow
twitchquotes:
Ｗｈｅｎ Heroes of Storm， ｍｙ ｈｅａｄ ａｕｔｏｍａｔｉｃａｌｌｙ ｇｏｅｓ ｔｏ ｔｈｅ ｐｉｌｌｏｗ． Ｉ ｗａｔｃｈ ｈｉｍ ｓｐａｍ ２ ｓｋｉｌｌｓ ｗｉｔｈ ｎｏ ｇｒａｐｈｉｃｓ ａｎｄ Ｉ ｆｅｅｌ Ｉ ｈａｖｅ ｓｅｘ ｗｉｔｈ ｔｈｅ ｐｉｌｌｏｗ． Ａｌｌ ｂｅｃｏｍｉｎｇ ＳＬＥＥＰ
twitch chat
Kripp
I accidentally ran over my wife’s pet rabbit with my car
So my wife works from home and she is a graphic designer. She is working from home because the rabbit is very needy and cannot be apart from her without screaming it’s head off.
She barely leaves the house due to this and it is difficult because I have to do everything for her and them that requires leaving the house. Whenever we go anywhere together the rabbit has to go with her. However since that post was posted I had developed a plan with the help from some dms and comments
I had been acting sick all night and all morning and convinced my wife to go to the market for me to get me medicine. Some Tylenol and cough syrup. She was worried about the rabbit and suggested taking it with her but I somehow convinced her to go without it. We live in a rural area and the closest store is about 20 minutes away. So I hatched my plan as soon as she left.
I grabbed that little shit by the neck and while it kicked and screamed I put it into an Amazon box and rushed to the car with it. Initially the plan was to release him into the wild so I drove to the closest wild spot which happens to be a campsite and let the little parasite out.
He is partially blind so he just sat there for a bit and I pushed it closer to the grass off the gravel parking lot and it started sniffing around and shit. At this point I thought I was home free and I got into the car to leave but the little shit noticed me getting in and ran towards the car when I started it and moved the car over a bump and I heard a scream.
I didn’t know what to do do I started driving and stopped the car a little further away and it was lying there on the gravel parking lot as I started to panic. I didn’t want to kill it I just wanted it gone. Instead I drove over it like a speed bump.
I put him back into the box and Drove to the vet. My wife is calling my phone I don’t know what to do, I’m writing this in the waiting room of the vet. I fucked up. The whole thing is a blur.
Edit: rabbit is alive, driving home, will update