Moby Dick, The Grapes of Wrath, Tom Sawyer
Instead of reading any of those, you decided to read this copypasta.
No wonder you're retarded.
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Hi Kripp, sleazy video game developer here
twitchquotes:
Hi Kripp, sleazy video game developer here. I understand you are willing to sell yourself out like a cheap Romanian hooker to any two-bit game development outfit as long as they dangle some shekels in front of your beady little eyes? Great! Because I have this brilliant game in beta testing right now called "Watching Paint Dry" and I am willing to pay you $5.00 USD to play it for 24 hours straight. Let me know what you think, you glorious sellout!
twitch chat
Kripp
sellout
Classic
learn instead of crying
twitchquotes:
This is a game of pure skill and you lost because you were completely outplayed and outmaneuvered. It's better to learn from your mistakes instead of crying because you believe your opponents are luckier than you are. One day, when you can actually admit to your mistakes, you might actually be better at the game. 
twitch chat
Kripp
Kripp gets married in a shack
twitchquotes:
Rania: "why are you playing Diablo 3, Kripp? How can we afford Big Fat Greek Wedding with 5k Diablo viewers?" But the Kripp doesn't listen. He plays Diablo 3 and loses all his viewers and gets married in a shack.
twitch chat
Kripp
I don't geddit
Reddit should rename 'share' to 'spreddit', 'delete' to 'shreddit' and 'karma' to 'creddit'. Yet they haven't. I don't geddit.
Do not call your significant other honey
Do ๐ not ๐ call ๐ your ๐ significant ๐ other ๐ honey ๐ unless ๐ you ๐ are ๐ a ๐ bee ๐ you ๐ are ๐ appropriating ๐ bee ๐ culture, ๐ this ๐ cannot ๐ bee ๐ accepted ๐