[Copypasta] Does anyone else bite their Switch?

twitchquotes: Does anyone else bite their Switch? This is not a shitpost, I really do this. I don't like to rage when I'm playing online, so when something really annoying happens and I get pissed, I try not to yell or punch something. Instead, I keep a straight face and I angrily bite into my switch for a few seconds until my anger is released. The best part of this is that Nintendo seems to have built the Switch with this in mind, because the plastic material seems completely resistant to my teeth. Legit, there are never teeth marks even mere minutes after the initial chomp. What I'm wondering is, does anyone else here do the same? Am I the only munching smash player? I hope I've inspired someone to try the same, it's a super good way to take your anger out without damaging anything or making noise!
twitch chat
July 2020
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3Head

⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⠈⠹⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡟⠁⠄⠈⠉⠉⠙⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠄⠄⠘⢻⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⡁⣤⠄⠐⠒⠒⠄⠄⣤⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠟⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠘⠛⠛⣿ ⣿⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠉⠉⠹⠟⠉⠉⠉⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠄⠄⢰⣶⣿ ⣿⠄⠄⢻⠟⠁⢠⠃⢀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣾⣿⡟⢻⣿⣿⠛⠄⠄⢠⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⣄⡀⢸⣇⣼⠉⠄⠙⠋⠉⠻⠿⣿⣛⠛⠛⢿⣧⣿⡿⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⠘⢿⣿⣦⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣀⡈⠉⠄⣠⣾⣿⡿⠁⠄⢀⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⡄⠈⠹⣿⣶⣶⣤⣌⣭⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⠏⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠄⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠇⠄⠄⠄⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠄⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠄⠄⠄⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⠄⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠁⠄⢀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣤⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
ascii art
February 2019

I microwaved my jizz again.

Help me gumpy I fucked up. I was jerking off to my Sylveon plushie and decided to put it in the microwave but I left it in too long and burned the jizz and the plushie. Now the whole house fucking stinks and when my parents come home tomorrow from vacation they are going to know I microwaved my jizz again. Last time this happened I had to go to counseling and I gained like 50 lbs. I really don't want to go back on medicine. How the fuck do I get rid of the smell it is in the carpets and sofa. It smells like burned hair and plastic.
June 2021

The year is 2037. Ligma is now the name of a real disease

The year is 2037. Ligma is now the name of a real disease. You're a doctor you just got the test results of the patient it's just as you feared it's fatal, your patient has ligma you're crying but you can't stop laughing you know you have to tell your patient that he has ligma but you can't keep a straight face you have to go out therr and tell your patient that he has only three days left to live and that there's no cure no hope not even enough time for him to finish his bucket list or find love or get the life he's always wanted he started making progress, he was doing well, his future had high hopes but he has a fatal case of ligma and you can't keep a straight face you walk out to your patient, "s-sir," you say through snickers "yes doctor? what are my test results?" your patient replies "I-I'm very sorry to say but," you respond as your sentence gets interrupted by a loud snort. "it's f-f-atal." you can't hold your laughs and you let out a bit of laughter "Is this some kind of joke? are you some sadistic creep? why the fuck are you laughing" the patient shouts out you "you h-have a fatal case of l-l-ligma," you can't hold it in anymore, you burst out laughing, you're rolling on the floor, tears in your eyes, you pee yourself a little "what the fuck is wrong with you? you're horrible! fuck you! go to hell!" your patient replies, with a face of horror, disgust, anger and sadness. he starts to cry. he's shaking you scream at the top of your lungs, "LIGMA BALLS! LIGMA BALLS! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! LIGMA BALLS!" you can't stop laughing and shouting, over and over again you repeat "LIGMA BALLS! LIGMA BALLS! LIGMA BALLS!" your patient flees, he runs as fast as he can soon the police come, they handcuff you and put you in the back of a police car. you don't know what's going to happen to you now, but you know it won't be good
August 2021

By the order of Donald of the house Trump

twitchquotes: SMOrc By the order of Donald of the house Trump SMOrc First of his name SMOrc True heir of these United States SMOrc Builder of Walls, Protector of the Border SMOrc I deport you from this chat
twitch chat
October 2016

Gitraktmaet motherships descend upon the Earth

twitchquotes: High in orbit, the Gitraktmaet motherships descend upon the Earth. They prepare to enslave the world and mine it for all its salt, but the scanners detect an abnormally high concentration inside a tiny shack in Greece. The invasion won't be necessary. "Lock onto him with the RNG disruptor," says the captain, greedily. "Soon we shall have all the salt we need."
twitch chat
February 2015
Kripp

Classic

salty

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