[Copypasta] Does anyone else bite their Switch?

twitchquotes: Does anyone else bite their Switch? This is not a shitpost, I really do this. I don't like to rage when I'm playing online, so when something really annoying happens and I get pissed, I try not to yell or punch something. Instead, I keep a straight face and I angrily bite into my switch for a few seconds until my anger is released. The best part of this is that Nintendo seems to have built the Switch with this in mind, because the plastic material seems completely resistant to my teeth. Legit, there are never teeth marks even mere minutes after the initial chomp. What I'm wondering is, does anyone else here do the same? Am I the only munching smash player? I hope I've inspired someone to try the same, it's a super good way to take your anger out without damaging anything or making noise!
twitch chat
July 2020
What happened to this ad? :(
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Pole Dancer Navy Seal Copypasta

What the *** did you just *** say about me, you little ***? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Pole Dancers, and I’ve been involved in numerous strips, and I have over 300 confirmed handstands. I am trained in pole warfare and I’m the top Ashley in the entire US strip forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the *** out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my *** hearthstone chat. You think you can get away with saying that *** to me over the Internet? Think again, fuckers.
October 2014

Navy Seal

The ending of the WWII is AWFUL

So am I the only one upset about how WWII ended? I mean they built Hitler up to be the big bad and just when he is about to face justice, he goes and kills himself. WTF was the point of him if FDR and Churchill were not going to fight him in an epic duel to save the world? And don't get me started on FDR! They just kill him half way through the war. Truman totally did not deserve to win the war, his character arc was not about war winning. And it certainly wasn't about destroying two cities with bullshit deus ex super weapons that came out of no where. And another thing that pissed me off is that in the last episode of the war we find out that Stalin was a bad guy the entire time! Where was this foreshadowed to us? WTF, absolute character assassination. He was all about freeing the oppressed and bringing about a new system that wasn't shackling the poor and they made him a dictator? That is bullshit! Anyways, WWII was cool but its end was absolutely trash and I would like you guys to sign a petition to have it rewritten.
November 2020

Happy poop

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ascii art
April 2021

Hey, Kripp! What's up man?

twitchquotes: Hey, kripp! What's up, man? It's Mike from Woman History class last semester. I didn't know you were some kind of internet superstar hahahaha. Hit me up, man. Btw, did you ever hook up with Leifman? She was a big girl hahah. You are such a dog. It's so cool to see you again. You have my numbah. Just hit me up, man.
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Classic

Kripp forgot about shredder placement

twitchquotes: Pupparrian scampers excitedly as Kripp carries the new bird cage. "Here you go, Birdarrian," says Kripp as he hangs the cage in the office. Unfortunately, Pupparian's joyful romping caused kripp to stumble, the cage bursting open and Birdarrian falling helplessly into the merciless jaws of the paper shredder sitting below the cage. "Oh no," gasps Kripp, "I forgot about shredder placement!"
twitch chat
April 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

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