[Copypasta] Your cat is plotting to destroy you

twitchquotes: I'm your cat, and ever since you brought me home that day? Well, i've been plotting to destroy you. Sizing you up. Calculating your every move. You think this is love? This is a billion years of tiger DNA just ready to pounce. And if you've got the wrong home insurance coverage you could be coughing up the cash for this. So get Allstate and be better protected from Mayhem like meow
twitch chat
February 2020
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More Copypastas

CTRL WTF for Fancy WTF

twitchquotes: PogChamp PogChamp HOLD CTRL AND TYPE "WTF" FOR ℱ𝓪𝓷𝓬𝔂 𝓦𝓣ℱ PogChamp PogChamp
twitch chat
April 2016

Classic

But then came Casualstone

twitchquotes: Know, O Chat, that before the rise of the Succubus, there was an Age undreamed of, where difficult bosses lay spread across the games - World of Warcraft, Diablo 3, Path of Exile. Hither trod Kripparrian, mightiest gamer in the land, to crush the bosses beneath his feet. But then came Casualstone.
twitch chat
April 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

Harambe Rick Harrison

twitchquotes: Hi. I'm Harambe, and this is my Zoo. I live here with my old zookeeper and banana, Big Yellow. Everything in here has a heart and a mind. One thing I've learned after 17 years - you never know WHAT is gonna come over that enclosure.
twitch chat
August 2016

Rick Harrison

Classic

Harambe

Slap Chop commercial script

Now that I have your attention let me show you this handy new kitchen tool, the Slap Chop! You’re going to be in a great mood all day, because you’re going be slapping your troubles away with the Slap Chop. Now, look here’s a potato. One slap you got big chunks for stew, two slaps home fries in a second. And, look at this when you add a mushroom: the more you do it, the finer it gets you don’t have to switch any blades. Now, you love salad -- you hate making it. You know you hate making salads -- that’s why you don’t have any salad in your diet. Watch this one slap... salad! I love Pizza too, but once in a while get the veggies in, at least throw it on top of the pizza. You’re going to change your eating habits. Soup, Coleslaw, stuff we want, 5 seconds. 4 or 5 seconds, it's done. This thing, this tuna looks boring. Stop having a boring tuna, stop having a boring life. Add this tuna putting it in like this now you’re going to have a nice, tuna, salad. Look at this you’re going to have an exciting life now. Look here’s a hard boiled egg. One chop, you add the pickle; you add the green onion. And what you can do is mix things together add the ham and you’re going to love this. You don’t have time to make breakfast, breakfast to go. You’re going to love my nuts. Watch this: almonds, walnuts. Comes with a cover so you can do everything in the cover. Alright, or you can do it on the board, whatever you like. So easy, one finger, if I can do it with one finger you guys can do it with your whole hand. Kids can do it. You know what they charge at the ice cream store? A dollar for toppings at the ice cream store. Add a couple cookies if you want. So, you can make it for 10 cents. Stop throwing your money away. You know not only nuts what about fruit? Put a mango, look at that isn’t that beautiful on your ice cream.
December 2020

Lightning McQueen (Cars)

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⣉⣁⣤⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⣶⡄⢲⣯⢍⠁⠄⢀⢹⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢯⣾⣿⣿⣏⣉⣹⠿⠇⠄⠽⠿⢷⡈⠿⠇⣀⣻⣿⡿⣻ ⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠛⠛⢛⡃⢉⢣⡤⠤⢄⡶⠂⠄⠐⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡦⣿⡿⠛⡇⣼ ⡿⢫⣤⣦⠄⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠺⠿⠙⠋⠄⠄⠄⠢⢄⠄⢿⠇⠂⠧⣿ ⠁⠄⠈⠁⠄⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣠⣤⡤⠴⠖⠒⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⢠⡞⠄⣸ ⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠤⠭⠦⠤⠤⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣂⣿ ⣷⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢳⠄⠄⢀⠈⣠⣤⣤⣼⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣴⣶⣶⣶⣄⡀⠄⠈⠑⢙⣡⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
February 2021
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