[Copypasta] Your cat is plotting to destroy you

twitchquotes: I'm your cat, and ever since you brought me home that day? Well, i've been plotting to destroy you. Sizing you up. Calculating your every move. You think this is love? This is a billion years of tiger DNA just ready to pounce. And if you've got the wrong home insurance coverage you could be coughing up the cash for this. So get Allstate and be better protected from Mayhem like meow
twitch chat
February 2020
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

WeebsOut

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠄⠄⢸⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⣠⡇⢸⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⡿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⣴⣿⡇⢸⠄⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠄⢀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠄⢸ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⣼⣿⣿⠧⠸⠄⢰⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⢸ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠋⠉⠄⠄⣴⣶⣤⣈⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⢸ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠄⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⣷⣿⣆⢘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⢸ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⢿⡷⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⢸ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⡴⠖⢢⠠⣭⣭⣥⣚⠼⣀⡚⠴⢡⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣌⢻⡿⣫⠄⠸ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣾⣧⡸⠄⠹⣿⢿⣿⣇⠿⠛⢣⣞⠛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⠛⠓⡀⣿⢀⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⣿⡿⠃⠄⠄⠈⢹⡿⡋⡀⠄⢬⡹⣷⢀⣀⣸⡇⢘⣿⣿⡇⢻⠘⠄ ⣿⣿⡋⠴⣾⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠉⠉⠹⠡⡟⣘⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⡓⡘⡆⠄ ⠟⡟⠄⢀⡖⣨⢲⣤⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢳⣦⣭⣭⠭⣭⣭⡭⣭⣍⣭⡄⠄ ⢠⠇⠄⠈⠄⡥⠋⠄⠄⠙⠒⠤⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢿⢃⠄⠄⠄⠙⠛⠄⠩⣽⡇⠄ ⠞⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⡠⠤⠒⠈⠓⢤⡀⠄⠄⣸⠁⠚⠛⠛⠳⣖⢄⠄⠛⡃⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠲⠅⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠑⣄⣴⣷⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⣆⣬⡅⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⢿⣿⣷⣤⣠⣶⡴⡖⠁⠘⢷⠄
June 2021

Weebs

Stimulus hopes in the year is 2025

The year is 2025. House speaker Nancy pelosi's brain jar has agreed with Mitch McConnell's new human skinbody to vote on the $12 covid stimulus package. This is the 37th revision to the package initially introduced in late 2020. One dollar will be split between all americans, two between all illegal immigrants, and the rest to Jeff bezos. Due to stimulus hopes, SPY has rallied to 600.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Twitch in 2025

twitchquotes: Twitch in 2025: Streamers may only stream a plain, black screen in 240p to account for people who can't afford screens bigger than that resolution, the stream must be all black incase there are blind viewers, and no sound may be played incase of deaf viewers.
twitch chat
December 2020

WTF IS MEGALUL?

twitchquotes: We have the perfect three letter emote for a british man laughing at your inferior memes. However, we had to take it one step further with this perverted version of the LUL emote and now my chat experience has been completed destroyed. All I wanted was a chat where I could LUL at the 4Head fags but now MEGALUL has destroyed the balance of emotes and chat will never be great again.
twitch chat
August 2016
Forsen

I want a man who is a cunning linguist

twitchquotes: "Are you sure you've ever pleasured a woman before, poppet?" Mother asked with a snear, unamused by the clumsy performance of a rapper who couldn't use his tongue. "I'm doing my best, yo!" he replied, muffled between Mother's thighs. "You talk a big game, Mr. Dab, but you are proving to be quite a disappointment." The tattoo-faced man lifted his head aghast, his voice raising in pitch, "I got you a limo, yo, what else do you want?" Mother chuckled, "I want a man who is a cunning linguist"
twitch chat
May 2019
MOONMOON
Text-to-Speech Playing