[Copypasta] Your cat is plotting to destroy you

twitchquotes: I'm your cat, and ever since you brought me home that day? Well, i've been plotting to destroy you. Sizing you up. Calculating your every move. You think this is love? This is a billion years of tiger DNA just ready to pounce. And if you've got the wrong home insurance coverage you could be coughing up the cash for this. So get Allstate and be better protected from Mayhem like meow
twitch chat
February 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Kripp you shaggy looking plant eating bum

twitchquotes: Kripp you shaggy looking plant eating bum i bet you can't even afford a real fedora like mine or treat a fine gal to a meal you smelly hobo *walks away turns around tips fedora and continues walking*
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Genetics is the future

I keep putting more money into ARKG and making more money and I'm starting to actually fall in love with the genetics revolution. I hope one day they invent some sort of super sperm cocktail so I can shoot thicc rope with giant big brain sperm like tadpoles that come out and shoot 16 feet at 90mph. Then I can train my fatheaded genius kids how to buy calls. It could also offer a self-defense solution in a pinch as you rapid fire tadpoles at any incoming attackers. Genetics is the future.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

I get a thousand hugs from 10,000 lightning bugs

twitchquotes: ๐Ÿค” In the song "Fireflies" by Owl City he states "I get a thousand hugs from 10,000 lightning bugs." Are we to assume each bug hugs him a thousand times? Or is he only getting hugged by 1/10th of the bugs? Or is each bug is giving him 1/10th of a hug? ๐Ÿค”
twitch chat
June 2017

Can Goldshire Footman replace Auctioneer for miracle rogue?

twitchquotes: Hi chat and forsen, I am wondering what I can replace auctioneer for in my Miracle rogue deck, do you think Goldshire Footman will work? Thanks and hope you suggest good cards. Greetings from Nigeria
twitch chat
November 2014
Forsen

Hearthstone

1/1 Webspinner

twitchquotes: Hi Reynad, I just wanted to thank you for not ruining my life. I was lucky enough to go on a date with a girl last night and she ended up wanting to ride my 1/1 webspinner. She wasn't on birth control but luckily I was able to use code TEMPOSTORM to get 100% off teenage parenthood EleGiggle
twitch chat
March 2016
Reynad

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing