[Copypasta] Your cat is plotting to destroy you

twitchquotes: I'm your cat, and ever since you brought me home that day? Well, i've been plotting to destroy you. Sizing you up. Calculating your every move. You think this is love? This is a billion years of tiger DNA just ready to pounce. And if you've got the wrong home insurance coverage you could be coughing up the cash for this. So get Allstate and be better protected from Mayhem like meow
twitch chat
February 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

I hate British people

Lame ass British motherfucking broken teeth tea drinking small country weird accent monocle top hat wearer bitchass motherfuckers with their poor hygiene and dental care and a shitty bitchass old ass motherfucking queen that was alive during the fucking Boston tea party just to say “OH WHAT BLOODY WANKERS” towards the Americans who made the smart ass decision to throw their dumbass motherfucking tea into the fucking BOSTON HARBOR then say “see you” and get the fuck out and start a new nation and shit cause they couldn’t tolerate people who put the letter “u” into the word color and call cookies fucking BISCUTS, the British cant even see straight with their crossed-ass eyes and their messed up teeth and EVERYTIME they take a bite atleast 8 of their teeth on their crooked-ass jaws are shoved into their tongues and the top of their worthless ass bitchass motherfucking mouths and then, with a mouth full of blood, they’ll say “OH HOW FUCKING SCRUMPTIOUS” like shut the fuck up bitch no one wants to hear your accent that sounds worse than motherfucking nails on a chalkboard. Just. SHUT. THE FUCK. UP. Lameass wankers.
February 2021

British People

Doublelift Pony Roleplay Minecraft server

twitchquotes: hey, Doublelift! i'm an admin from PinkieCraft 🌈, the pony roleplay Minecraft server that you play on! i wanted to personally extend my thank you for the 1000$ you donated to help keep our server alive! next time you log on we'll make sure to let me know and i'll make sure to get you that custom pony body you donated for! i regret to inform you, however, that we don't currently have a way to give you "20 foot horse cock" like you requested but we'll work on it thank you
twitch chat
December 2016
Doublelift

Classic

League of Legends

Spooky story

twitchquotes: One day there was Man. He wake up in night time like 3 or 4 am in the morning, Much sweat from nightmare of skeletons!! He turns on his computer and waited for the screen to load. "I will watch Kripparrian to calm my fears" he Mumbled. As he click the URL the stream loads... but there is only skeletons... Plz no creepy pasta this spooky story
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

YOU’VE BEEN FREAKING HIT BY THE KAWAII TRUCK

YOU’VE BEEN FREAKING HIT BY THE |^^^^^^^^^^^^](ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ | KAWAII TRUCK | ‘|”“”;.., ___. |_…_…______===|= _|__|…, ] | ”(@ )’(@ )”“”“*|(@ )(@ )*****(@　　　　⊂（ﾟДﾟ⊂⌒） NO KAWAII TRUCK NO!!! MOTHERFUCKER ONCE YOU'VE BEEN HIT, YOU HAVE TO HIT EIGHT FUCKING KAWAII ASS PEOPLE! IF YOU GET HIT AGAIN YOU’LL KNOW YOU'RE REALLY SO FUCKING KAWAII IT'S SO FUCKING SUGOI PEOPLE WILL PISS THEIR PANTS AND SHIT BRICKS AND YOU WILL BE THE MOTHERFUCKING LORD OF THE MOTHERFUCKING KAWAII! IF YOU BREAK THIS MOTHERFUCKING CHAIN, YOU'LL BE CURSED WITH UNKAWAIINESS AND SHITTINESS FOR 9000 YEARS SO PASS IT; HIT WHO EVER YOU THINK IS KAWAII.
ascii art
October 2021

Weebs

Anime

SadgeCoomer

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣀⣠⣤⣴⡶⢖⠒⣢⢀⡠⠤⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣴⠾⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡉⢭⣾⠛⣓⡉⣖⡒⢒ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⢣⢪⣵⡶⢭⣛⡿⣌⡣⠨⢋⣦⣸⡣⡻⠈⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣤⣮⡻⣶⣭⣭⣓⠮⣭⣓⡮⢭⣛⡻⠿⠿⠾⠿⠷ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣷⣝⡻⠿⣿⣷⣾⣽⣛⠶⠮⣝⣓⡒⠶⠖⠂ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣮⣭⣍⣉⣉⣁⣀⣈⠉⠉⠁⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠾⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣶⣭⣝⣛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄ ⠄⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡎⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄ ⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢣⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄ ⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄ ⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢣⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢱⠖⠄
ascii art
June 2021

Pepe

More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing