[Copypasta] Your cat is plotting to destroy you

twitchquotes: I'm your cat, and ever since you brought me home that day? Well, i've been plotting to destroy you. Sizing you up. Calculating your every move. You think this is love? This is a billion years of tiger DNA just ready to pounce. And if you've got the wrong home insurance coverage you could be coughing up the cash for this. So get Allstate and be better protected from Mayhem like meow
twitch chat
February 2020
(โ–€ฬฟฤนฬฏโ”œโ”ฌโ”ดโ”ฌโ”ด Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

CTRL+C CTRL+V ENTER

twitchquotes: You idly watching the stream, mindlessly wasting yet another evening. You notice 4+ length message in the chat. Grabbing the mouse, hovering over, scrolling up. Reading the message and realizing the pasta has no meaning at all. CTRL+C CTRL+V ENTER. You are retarded.
twitch chat
July 2020

Classic

Sparkle the spam away

twitchquotes: (๏พ‰โ—•ใƒฎโ—•)๏พ‰*:๏ฝฅ๏พŸโœง SPARKLE THE โœฟ*โˆ—หตโ•ฐเผผโœชแ—œโœชเผฝโ•ฏหตโˆ—*โœฟ SPAM AWAY (๏พ‰โ—•ใƒฎโ—•)๏พ‰*:๏ฝฅ๏พŸโœง
twitch chat
March 2016
Kripp

I put sushi in my husbandโ€™s butthole while he was asleep

He was sleeping soundly naked, and I was eating leftover sushi. I couldn't help myself. I spread open his cheeks ever so softly, and tucked a slice of Philly roll right next to his puckered asshole. He did not wake up. When he awoke several hours later, he thought he had shit himself. I managed to video him discovering it was in his asshole, and I cannot stop watching him dig salmon, cream cheese, and rice out of his butthole. I also cannot stop laughing. I needed to tell someone.
May 2022

Ben Shapiro LEGO city

Now, letโ€™s say, hypothetically, that a man has fallen into the river, in LEGO City. That would lead us to look at the facts and realize that it would be time to start the new rescue helicopter, due to the HEY! This would mean that weโ€™d build the helicopter, and logically would be off to the rescue. I would, hypothetically, prepare the lifeline, which would proceed with me lowering the stretcher. Which makes sense, seeing as I would be making the rescue. So now I must pose the question, why do liberals hate the new Emergency Collection from LEGO City?
December 2020

Lego City

Ben Shapiro

8th year without variety

๐Ÿ“œ โœ Sadge ๐“œ๐”‚ ๐“ญ๐“ฎ๐“ช๐“ป๐“ฎ๐“ผ๐“ฝ ๐“ซ๐“ป๐“ธ๐“ฝ๐“ฑ๐“ฎ๐“ป, ๐“ฝ๐“ธ๐“ญ๐“ช๐”‚ ๐“ถ๐“ช๐“ป๐“ด๐“ผ ๐“ฝ๐“ฑ๐“ฎ 8๐“ฝ๐“ฑ ๐”‚๐“ฎ๐“ช๐“ป ๐”€๐“ฎ ๐“ฑ๐“ช๐“ฟ๐“ฎ ๐“ฑ๐“ช๐“ญ ๐”€๐“ฒ๐“ฝ๐“ฑ๐“ธ๐“พ๐“ฝ ๐“ฟ๐“ช๐“ป๐“ฒ๐“ฎ๐“ฝ๐”‚. ๐“ฆ๐“ฎ ๐“ถ๐“ช๐”‚ ๐“ท๐“ธ๐“ฝ ๐“ซ๐“ฎ ๐“ช๐“ซ๐“ต๐“ฎ ๐“ฝ๐“ธ ๐“ฎ๐“ท๐“ญ๐“พ๐“ป๐“ฎ. ๐“Ÿ๐“ต๐“ฎ๐“ช๐“ผ๐“ฎ ๐“น๐“ป๐“ช๐”‚ ๐“ฏ๐“ธ๐“ป ๐“ธ๐“พ๐“ป ๐“ผ๐“ช๐“ต๐“ฟ๐“ช๐“ฝ๐“ฒ๐“ธ๐“ท. .
February 2021
Forsen
Text-to-Speech Playing