[Copypasta] Your cat is plotting to destroy you

twitchquotes: I'm your cat, and ever since you brought me home that day? Well, i've been plotting to destroy you. Sizing you up. Calculating your every move. You think this is love? This is a billion years of tiger DNA just ready to pounce. And if you've got the wrong home insurance coverage you could be coughing up the cash for this. So get Allstate and be better protected from Mayhem like meow
twitch chat
February 2020
What happened to this ad? :(
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Mew

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡴⠞⢳⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡔⠋⠀⢰⠎⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⢆⣤⡞⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⢠⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣾⢳⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⢠⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣀⡤⠴⠊⠉⠀⠀⠈⠳⡀⠀⠀⠘⢎⠢⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠳⣄⠀⠀⡠⡤⡀⠀⠘⣇⡀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠓⠒⠺⠭⢵⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢹⡆⠀⢷⡇⠁⠀⠀⣸⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⢤⠀⠀⠘⢷⣆⡀⠀ ⠀⠀⠘⠒⢤⡄⠖⢾⣭⣤⣄⠀⡔⢢⠀⡀⠎⣸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⡀ ⠀⠀⢀⡤⠜⠃⠀⠀⠘⠛⣿⢸⠀⡼⢠⠃⣤⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇ ⠀⠀⠸⠶⠖⢏⠀⠀⢀⡤⠤⠇⣴⠏⡾⢱⡏⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⠃ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣇⡀⠿⠀⠀⠀⡽⣰⢶⡼⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣿⠟⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠳⢤⣀⡶⠤⣷⣅⡀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡠⢔⠕⠁⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠫⠿⠿⠿⠛⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀
ascii art
January 2022

Pokemon

I, an atheist, accidentally said “oh my g*d” instead of “oh my science”

I, an atheist, accidentally said “oh my g*d” instead of “oh my science” You read the title, I just cannot believe I said the “g” word on accident. Am I even an atheist anymore? I don’t like religion or anything but like maybe it infiltrated me and is manipulating me to say “oh my g*d” instead of “oh my science”. Please guys it wasn’t me, I didn’t mean it. I’m very disappointed in myself, I think I need to go to science camp or go to therapy. What if I’m secretly religious? what should I do? Is my foreskin going to fall off?? Please can someone give me advice, any advice is appreciated. Best regards, -an atheist(?)
November 2020

You. Me. Gas station

You. Me. Gas station. What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh! There was a roofie in our gas station sushi. We black out and wake up in a sewer surrounded by fish. Horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy. The stench draws in a bear. What do we do? We're gonna fight it. Bear fight. Bare handed. Bare, naked? Oh, yes please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl and ride it into a Chuck E. Cheese. Dance Dance Revolution. Revolution? Overthrow the government? Uh, I think so. Next thing you know, I'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then I turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out, which I didn't even know you could do. Then I smoked a joint, greened out. Then I turn into the sun. Uh oh! Looks like the meth is kicking in. aklfhaofhasfahfakh AAAAAAAAA afahfioahflkf AAAAA
June 2021

Kripp please supply the world with some salt

twitchquotes: Dear nl_Kripp with the Earth's salt mines running low near depletion. We can always rely on you for stepping up to the plate and supplying the world with some PJSalt
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

HBox’s tag actually has a secret meaning

twitchquotes: fun fact: HBox’s tag actually has a secret meaning. the Box is for his name, Boxuel. the H stands for “Hjelte” since he plays with the heart of William Peter "Leffen" Hjelte every tourney
twitch chat
April 2019

Super Smash Bros

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