[Copypasta] Your cat is plotting to destroy you

twitchquotes: I'm your cat, and ever since you brought me home that day? Well, i've been plotting to destroy you. Sizing you up. Calculating your every move. You think this is love? This is a billion years of tiger DNA just ready to pounce. And if you've got the wrong home insurance coverage you could be coughing up the cash for this. So get Allstate and be better protected from Mayhem like meow
twitch chat
February 2020
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Any other straight guys have similar fantasies?

Ok so I'm not gay but I'm Swedish and have a fantasy where Germany win world war two and Sweden needs to export aryan twink boipussy slaves to high ranking SS officers for pleasure. I imagine I'm a shy little blonde twink with smooth pale skin and being brought into komedant heinrichs bedroom to give him pleasure. He is a tall broad shoulders kraut with a jawline that could cut a diamond and with massive daddy muscles and I'm a pathetic skinny little boipussy twink. He pulls me into his arms force kissing me and pressing my chest against his. He pins me down on the bed tearing my cute lil virgin panties off, he has waited for this for a long time. He teases my boipussy with his massive thicc German cock and then he goes all in. Fucking me with a force I've never felt before. Every thrust makes him moan with pleasure. I love the fact I give him pleasure. He cums deep into my sissy swede guts, breeding my booty hole then he cuddles me with his strong masculine German arms until I fall asleep on his chest. Any other straight guys have similar fantasies?
February 2021

Hungrybox at a grocery store

I saw Hungrybox at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything. He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen green bandannas in his hands without paying. The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter. When she took one of the bandannas and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and rested me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bandanna and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by popping off really loudly.
January 2019
Hungrybox

Super Smash Bros

I love the McChicken

For me, it's the McChicken. The best fast food sandwich. I even ask for extra McChicken sauce packets and the staff is so friendly and more than willing to oblige. One time I asked for McChicken sauce packets and they gave me three. I said, "Wow, three for free!" and the nice friendly McDonald's worker laughed and said, "I'm going to call you 3-for-free!". Now the staff greets me with "hey it's 3-for-free!" and ALWAYS give me three packets. It's such a fun and cool atmosphere at my local McDonald's restaurant, I go there at least 3 times a week for lunch and a large iced coffee with milk instead of cream, 1-2 times for breakfast on the weekend, and maybe once for dinner when I'm in a rush but want a great meal that is affordable, fast, and can match my daily nutritional needs. I even dip my fries in McChicken sauce, it's delicious! What a great restaurant.
April 2022

OJ warriors

twitchquotes: Wᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ɪɴ ᴀ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴏғ ɢʀᴇᴀᴛ ᴅᴇᴘᴇʀᴇssɪᴏɴ ᴍʏ ғʀɪᴇɴᴅs. Kʀɪᴘᴘ ɪs ᴛᴇsᴛɪɴɢ ᴏᴜʀ ғᴀɪᴛʜ ʙʏ ᴘʟᴀʏɪɴɢ ʙᴀᴅ ᴄᴀsᴜᴀʟ ɢᴀᴍᴇs ᴀs ᴀ ᴅɪʀᴇᴄᴛ ʀᴇsᴜʟᴛ ᴏғ ʜᴀᴠɪɴɢ ᴜɴʜᴏʟʏ ʀᴇʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴs ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴀɴ ᴇᴠɪʟ ᴡɪᴛᴄʜ. Iᴛ ɪs ᴏᴜʀ ᴅᴇsᴛɪɴʏ ᴀs OJ ᴡᴀʀʀɪᴏʀs ᴛᴏ ᴘᴀsᴛᴇʀɪɴᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴀᴘᴜᴄɪɴᴏ ᴜɴᴛɪʟ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ɪs ɴᴏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʟᴇғᴛ ʙᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇ sᴀʟᴠᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ᴡᴇ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ᴀɴᴅ ᴅᴇsᴇʀᴠᴇ
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp

ULTIMATE AND FINAL SIMP

twitchquotes: As a man who has a daughter, you are LITERALLY dedicating at least 20 years of your life simply to raise a girl for some female to enjoy. It is the ULTIMATE AND FINAL SIMP. Think about it logically.
twitch chat
November 2020

Simps

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