[Copypasta] Your cat is plotting to destroy you

twitchquotes: I'm your cat, and ever since you brought me home that day? Well, i've been plotting to destroy you. Sizing you up. Calculating your every move. You think this is love? This is a billion years of tiger DNA just ready to pounce. And if you've got the wrong home insurance coverage you could be coughing up the cash for this. So get Allstate and be better protected from Mayhem like meow
twitch chat
February 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

What if we make Firelands Portal a common?

twitchquotes: "How did Kripp get 12 wins?" Ben Brode demanded at the board meeting. "You were supposed to be monitoring him, Charlie." "Sorry, I must've fallen asleep. He was streaming some boring action-RPG earlier today." Ben Brode frowned. "The salt shortage is cutting into our profits. We're going to need a solution, quick." Sarah raised her hand. "What if we make Firelands Portal a common?"
twitch chat
August 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

The waiter says "Say When", grating the parmesan cheese over my pizza

The waiter says "Say When", grating the parmesan cheese over my pizza. Foolish mistake. Anyone should know that there is no "when". As parmesan fills the restaurant, the pizza only gets better. After only an hour, the restaurants interior its completely filled with parmesan, killing twenty. But the resuraunt is only the beginning. Next the USA will be taken by parmesan, a force stronger than anyone could have anticipated. After that comes the world. Consider this a warning, to get to a foreign planet immediately. At least that will provide temporary safety, until the parmesan rises to mars. At that point, there will be enough cheese on my pizza, and I will be ready to eat.
August 2021

Overconfidence is a slow and insidious killer

twitchquotes: ( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°) OVERCONFIDENCE IS A SLOW AND INSIDIOUS KILLER ( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)
twitch chat
July 2015

Classic

autism

twitch chat
November 2014
Trump

Anime girl 7

⢰⡟⣡⡟⣱⣿⡿⠡⢛⣋⣥⣴⣌⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣌⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠏⢼⡿⣰⡿⠿⠡⠿⠿⢯⣉⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣿⣦⣍⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⣼⣷⢠⠀⠀⢠⣴⡖⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣛⣯⣝⣻⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⣿⡷⠂⠈⡉⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣍⡤⣤⣤⣤⡀⠀⠉⠛⠿ ⣿⢸⣿⡅⣠⣬⣥⣤⣴⣴⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⡭⡄⣀⣉⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡟⣿⣿⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣈⠀⠀⠀⢀⣶ ⡧⣿⡇⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣾⣿ ⡇⣿⠃⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⠛⢫⣿⣿⣻⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿ ⡇⣿⠘⡇⢻⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠙⠻⠏⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣭⡾⢁ ⡇⣿⠀⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣧⢠⣤⠀⡤⢀⣠⣀⣀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣁⠉ ⣧⢻⠀⡄⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⡸⣿⣾⡆⣿⣿⣿⠿⣡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠐⢡⣶ ⣿⡘⠈⣷⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣷⣎⠐⠿⢟⣋⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⣩⠖⢠⡬⠈⠀ ⣿⣧⠁⢻⡇⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠋⠁⢀⠈⢀⡴⠈⠁⠀⠀ ⠻⣿⣆⠘⣿⠀⠀⣀⡁⠀⠈⠙⠛⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠤⠚⠁⠄⣠
April 2019

Weebs

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