[Copypasta] Your cat is plotting to destroy you

twitchquotes: I'm your cat, and ever since you brought me home that day? Well, i've been plotting to destroy you. Sizing you up. Calculating your every move. You think this is love? This is a billion years of tiger DNA just ready to pounce. And if you've got the wrong home insurance coverage you could be coughing up the cash for this. So get Allstate and be better protected from Mayhem like meow
twitch chat
February 2020
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More Copypastas

Commonwealth of Veganism

twitchquotes: We have claimed, for Electoral Vote purposes, the Commonwealth of Veganism (which won’t allow legal meat eaters) the State of Twitch, and the State of Kripparian, each one of which has a BIG Vegan lead. Additionally, we hereby claim the State of Lettuce if, in fact, there was a large number of secretly dumped carrots as has been widely reported!
twitch chat
November 2020
Kripp

I sexually Identify as an the sun

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as an the sun. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of slamming hydrogen isotopes into each other to make helium & light and send it throught the galaxy. People say to me that a person being a star is Impossible and I’m fucking retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon inflate me with hydrogen and raise my temperature to over 6000 Β°C. From now on I want you guys to call me β€œSol” and respect my right to give you vitamin D and probably sunburns. If you can’t accept me you’re a fusionphobe and need to check your astral privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
twitch chat
August 2015

I sexually Identify as

Hello this is Dan from the next room over

twitchquotes: Hello this is Dan from the next room over. Can you be quiet for 2 minutes it's almost 2am and I can still hear you. I have had a hard day doing REAL work for 13 hours and all I want is a bit of peace and quiet. LOL just kidding it's Tanner from highschool again, enjoy playing your kids games while I'm hanging out with Becca. We're watching re-runs of that time you lost that video game tournament. Peace out!
twitch chat
June 2019

Tanner from High School

Full Doge

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–’β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–’β–Œ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–’β–’β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–’β–’β–’β– ░░░░░░░▐▄▀▒▒▀▀▀▀▄▄▄▀▒▒▒▒▒▐ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–€β–’β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–’β–’β–„β–ˆβ–’β– β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–’β–Œ β–‘β–‘β–β–’β–’β–’β–„β–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–„β–’β–’β–Œ β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–Œβ–ˆβ–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–€β–ˆβ–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–’β– β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–€β–„β–Œ β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–’β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–Œ β–Œβ–’β–€β–β–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–Œβ–„β–‘β–€β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β– β–β–’β–’β–β–€β–β–€β–’β–‘β–„β–„β–’β–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–’β–‘β–’β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–Œ ▐▒▒▒▀▀▄▄▒▒▒▄▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░▒░▒░▒▒▐ β–‘β–Œβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–’β–‘β–’β–‘β–’β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–Œ ░▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░▒░▒░▒▒▄▒▒▐ β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–’β–‘β–’β–‘β–’β–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–Œ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–„β–„β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–€ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–„β–€ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–€
November 2016

Fuck You Chat

β „β’Έβ£Ώβ‘Ÿβ ›β ›β ƒβ’Έβ£Ώβ‘‡β „β „β£Ώβ‘‡β „β£Όβ£Ώβ Ÿβ »β£Ώβ£†β „β£Ώβ£Ώβ’ β£Ύβ£Ώβ ‹β „β „ ⠄Ⓒ⣿⣷⣢⣢⠄Ⓒ⣿⑇⠄⠄⣿⑇⠄⣿⑏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⠄ β „β’Έβ£Ώβ‘‡β „β „β „β ˜β£Ώβ£§β£€β£°β£Ώβ‘‡β „β’Ώβ£Ώβ£€β£ β£Ώβ‘Άβ „β£Ώβ£Ώβ ƒβ’Ήβ£Ώβ£†β „β „ β „β ˜β ›β ƒβ „β „β „β „β ˜β ›β ›β ›β ‹β „β „β ˆβ ›β ›β ›β ›β β „β ›β ›β „β „β ›β ›β ƒβ „ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⒠⣀⑄⠄⠄⣀⣀⠄⒀⣠⣀⣄⑀⠄⒠⣀⑄⠄⠄⣀⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ β „β „β „β „β „β’»β£Ώβ£„β£Όβ£Ώβ ƒβ£°β£Ώβ Ÿβ ›β’Ώβ£Ώβ‘„β’Έβ£Ώβ‘‡β „β „β£Ώβ£Ώβ „β „β „β „β „ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠻⣿⑿⠁⠄⣿⣿⠄⠄Ⓒ⣿⑇Ⓒ⣿⑇⠄⠄⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⑇⠄⠄⠹⣿⣦⣀⣼⣿⠃⠄⣿⣷⣀⣴⣿⑏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β ›β ƒβ „β „β „β ˆβ ›β ›β ‹β β „β „β ˆβ ™β ›β ›β ‰β „β „β „β „β „β „ ⠄⠄⒀⣠⣀⣀⣄⑀⠄⣀⣀⠄⠄⣀⣀⠄⠄⠄⣀⣀⑄⠄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠄⠄ β „β „β£Ύβ£Ώβ ‹β ™β Ώβ —β „β£Ώβ£Ώβ£€β£€β£Ώβ£Ώβ „β „β£Έβ£Ώβ’Ώβ£·β „β ›β ›β£Ώβ£Ώβ ›β ›β „β „ ⠄⠄⣿⣿⠄⠄⣀⠄⠄⣿⣿⠿⠿⣿⣿⠄⒠⣿⣏⣸⣿⑆⠄⠄⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄ β „β „β »β£Ώβ£¦β£΄β£Ώβ‘Ÿβ „β£Ώβ£Ώβ „β „β£Ώβ£Ώβ „β£Όβ£Ώβ Ώβ Ώβ’Ώβ£Ώβ‘€β „β£Ώβ£Ώβ „β „β „β „ β „β „β „β ˆβ ‰β ‰β ‰β „β „β ‰β ‰β „β „β ‰β ‰β „β ‰β ‰β „β „β ˆβ ‰β β „β ‰β ‰β „β „β „β „
June 2019

Classic

I hate Twitch Chat

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