[Copypasta] Your cat is plotting to destroy you

twitchquotes: I'm your cat, and ever since you brought me home that day? Well, i've been plotting to destroy you. Sizing you up. Calculating your every move. You think this is love? This is a billion years of tiger DNA just ready to pounce. And if you've got the wrong home insurance coverage you could be coughing up the cash for this. So get Allstate and be better protected from Mayhem like meow
twitch chat
February 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Kripp's MALDHAWK

twitchquotes: Late last year, we were on an expedition to find the rarest hairstyle of them all.. the "MALDHAWK" A combination of MALD and a hawk nest, it combines the fluidity of middle aged male pattern baldness to a contrast of dead rats. Much to our chagrin, we found it April 13th, 2020, on a morose Canadian gypsy's stream. He had over 10k viewers at the time of writing this
twitch chat
April 2020
Kripp

Blockchain NFT Gaming

The year is 2030. It's a rainy Saturday afternoon. You've just finished mining 30 obsidian ore playing Crypto Crush Saga, a match-3 mobile game. You open up The Elder Chains Online and feel a rush of excitement. Your school buddy has spent years becoming a Master Blacksmith, and he has agreed to turn 10 obsidian into an Obsidian Battlestaff, a HUGE upgrade over the Mithril Mace you’ve been wielding for the last months. It’ll take him an hour or so. In the meantime, you log into Clash of Guilds, and use the remaining obsidian to upgrade your town hall to the next level. That should keep your village safe for now. You wish you could fast forward time to tonight. Your Guild has plans to go for a deep run into the wilderness in Old School Rune Chains, and your prospects of a successful run (and great loot) have never been better. All guild members have been spending the past 2 weeks grinding for better weapons, and you’ve agreed (through a vote) to use the Guild treasury to buy everyone a new full set of Red Dragonhide Armor. Tonight’s objective is to kill the level 128 Frost Giant hiding in the Cave of Sorrow. He has a 5% chance of dropping an Immaculate Orb of Brilliance, of which there are currently only 4 in existence. The Orb can be used as a power source in an upcoming space exploration game, and should give your guild a great advantage in reaching distant galaxies first. A 5% drop rate is low, but you’re feeling optimistic. In the distance, you hear a faint 'BloCkChAIn doEsNT bRiNg AnYtHiNg nEW tO gAmES'. You shrug, and join your friends in the Discord voice channel. Life is good.
July 2022

Cryptocurrency

NFTs

Sneaky can you take me on a date?

twitchquotes: Sneaky this has been on my mind for a long time and i just don't know how to articulate it into words but i'll try. Your cosplays really turn me on and i was wondering if you would take a fellow furry on a date some time (you can even beat me if i'm naughty ;)) I think we would just really hit it off and i would really enjoy licking your cute little cheeks xD. I would love to recieve your seed and nut so we can produce some hybrid furry/cosplaying babies. It would really change my whole life ^_^
twitch chat
May 2019
Sneaky

10 years since Dota 2 update

twitchquotes: οΌ‘οΌγ€€ο½™ο½…ο½ο½’ο½“γ€€ο½“ο½‰ο½Žο½ƒο½…γ€€οΌ€ο½ο½”ο½γ€€οΌ’γ€€ο½•ο½ο½„ο½ο½”ο½…οΌŽγ€€οΌ©γ€€ο½—ο½ο½Œο½‹γ€€ο½”ο½ˆο½’ο½ο½•ο½‡ο½ˆγ€€ο½”ο½ˆο½…γ€€ο½… ο½ο½ο½”ο½™γ€€ο½“ο½”ο½’ο½…ο½…ο½”ο½“γ€€ο½”ο½’ο½™ο½‰ο½Žο½‡γ€€ο½”ο½γ€€ο½”ο½ˆο½‰ο½Žο½‹γ€€ο½ο½†γ€€ο½“ο½ο½ο½…ο½”ο½ˆο½‰ο½Žο½‡γ€€ο½…ο½Œο½“ο½…γ€€ο½‚ο½•ο½” γ€€οΌ©γ€€ο½ο½Œο½—ο½ο½™ο½“γ€€ο½…ο½Žο½„γ€€ο½•ο½γ€€ο½“ο½‰ο½”ο½”ο½‰ο½Žο½‡γ€€ο½ˆο½…ο½’ο½…οΌŒγ€€ο½‰ο½Žγ€€ο½†ο½’ο½ο½Žο½”γ€€ο½ο½†γ€€ο½ο½™γ€€ο½ƒο½ο½ο½ ο½•ο½”ο½…ο½’οΌŽγ€€οΌ©γ€€ο½“ο½”ο½ο½’ο½…γ€€ο½ο½”γ€€ο½”ο½ˆο½…γ€€ο½“ο½ƒο½’ο½…ο½…ο½Žγ€€ο½†ο½ο½’γ€€ο½ˆο½ο½•ο½’ο½“γ€€ο½ο½Žο½„γ€€ο½”ο½’ο½™γ€€ο½”ο½γ€€ο½“ ο½•ο½ο½ο½ο½Žγ€€IcefrogοΌŽγ€€οΌ©γ€€ο½—ο½ο½”ο½ƒο½ˆγ€€ο½ο½”ο½ˆο½…ο½’γ€€ο½‡ο½ο½ο½…ο½“γ€€ο½•ο½ο½„ο½ο½”ο½‰ο½Žο½‡γ€€ο½ο½Žο½„γ€€ο½‡ο½… ο½”ο½”ο½‰ο½Žο½‡γ€€ο½Žο½…ο½—γ€€ο½ˆο½…ο½’ο½ο½…ο½“γ€€ο½‚ο½•ο½”γ€€ο½‰ο½”γ€€ο½‰ο½“γ€€ο½Žο½γ€€ο½‡ο½ο½ο½„οΌŽγ€€οΌ©γ€€ο½ƒο½ο½•ο½Žο½”ο½…ο½’γ€€ο½ο½‰ο½ƒο½‹ γ€€οΌ³ο½Žο½‰ο½ο½…ο½’γ€€ο½”ο½γ€€ο½’ο½…ο½“ο½‰ο½“ο½”γ€€ο½”ο½ˆο½…γ€€ο½ο½…ο½”ο½οΌŒγ€€ο½‚ο½•ο½”γ€€ο½‰ο½”'ο½“γ€€ο½ο½Œο½Œγ€€ο½ο½…ο½ο½Žο½‰ο½Žο½‡ο½Œο½… ο½“ο½“οΌŽγ€€οΌ΄ο½ˆο½…γ€€ο½…ο½Žο½„γ€€ο½‰ο½“γ€€ο½Žο½…ο½ο½’οΌŽγ€€οΌ΄ο½ˆο½…ο½Žγ€€οΌ©γ€€ο½Œο½ο½ο½‹γ€€ο½ο½Žγ€€ο½”ο½ˆο½…γ€€ο½ο½ο½”ο½ƒο½ˆοΌο½•ο½ο½„ο½ ο½”ο½…γ€€ο½ˆο½‰ο½“ο½”ο½ο½’ο½™γ€€ο½ο½Žο½„γ€€ο½ƒο½’ο½™γ€€ο½ο½™ο½“ο½…ο½Œο½†γ€€ο½”ο½γ€€ο½“ο½Œο½…ο½…ο½οΌŽ
twitch chat
April 2015
SingSing

Dota 2

not an asexual thing

twitchquotes: β€˜not an asexual thing’. try living a day in my shoes, walking around terrified of encountering sex everywhere i go. wherever i look, parents with children, people sucking each others’ faces. it makes me and millions of other aces out there feel really attacked.
twitch chat
February 2019

Classic

Text-to-Speech Playing