[Copypasta] Your cat is plotting to destroy you

twitchquotes: I'm your cat, and ever since you brought me home that day? Well, i've been plotting to destroy you. Sizing you up. Calculating your every move. You think this is love? This is a billion years of tiger DNA just ready to pounce. And if you've got the wrong home insurance coverage you could be coughing up the cash for this. So get Allstate and be better protected from Mayhem like meow
twitch chat
February 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

I am Bamalama Shmamahdu, from the Congo

twitchquotes: Hey Reynad, I am Bamalama Shmamahdu, from the Congo. We regret to inform you that your shipment of child solders may be a bit late this month due to a shipping error. We are very sorry for this inconvenience, and you will receive AIDS, free of charge as our way of saying sorry.
twitch chat
January 2015
Reynad

twitch removed Κappa

twitchquotes: twitch removed Κappa FailFish
twitch chat
August 2019

A middle aged man complaining about an online children's card game

twitchquotes: Why does anyone watch this guys stream? Its just a middle aged man complaining about an online children's card game. Its not even interesting either? please.. dont copy and paste this. its serious..he has 20k + viewers almost constantly
twitch chat
August 2015
Kripp

People Who Fake Disorders Be Like

Red is the color of blood and that’s offensive and scary. Please refrain from using or ever mentioning the color red, as that is a trigger for me. A trigger of what you ask? One of my 20 disorders. ADHD, DID, Tourettes, OCD, anxiety, BPD, depression, OSDD, PTSD, Obesity, CPTSD, schizophrenia, psychosis, anorexia, and many many more. Prove it? Oh, let me switch real fast tics and throws phone across room OwO h-h-hello… this is Dream 🎾 (he/they) (5 years old) (trauma holder) uwu. You were just speaking to Zay🔥 (they/them) (22 years old) (Leader of the system) OwO do you be-be-believe me now? Sorry for the stutter, I was born with it 🤪😘🥸😘🥸 *switches back to Zay🔥 (They/them) (22 years old) (leader of the system) I told you 😎 but you didn’t believe me. Just wait to be canceled by all the Twitter users. Twitter, do your thing 😜
September 2021

Smash bros in the year 20XX

twitchquotes: The year is 20XX. Every official stream online has zero views because grassroots organizations have usurped all Esports streams. Nintendo is destitute and broke, their only source of income is through taxing sold copies of Melee, CRTs, and gamecubes. Society has evolved to the point that with a cybernetic implant, you can connect directly to netplay and shine on your opponent while broadcasting free of a DMCA complaint and a C&D letter from Nintendo. Doug Bowser is the last living human without an implant, and is found cold and naked, wondering why everyone is constantly talking about wavedashes.
twitch chat
December 2020

Super Smash Bros

Text-to-Speech Playing