[Copypasta] Your cat is plotting to destroy you

twitchquotes: I'm your cat, and ever since you brought me home that day? Well, i've been plotting to destroy you. Sizing you up. Calculating your every move. You think this is love? This is a billion years of tiger DNA just ready to pounce. And if you've got the wrong home insurance coverage you could be coughing up the cash for this. So get Allstate and be better protected from Mayhem like meow
twitch chat
February 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Gulugulu in your stomach

twitchquotes: Doโœ‹ not ๐Ÿ˜ฐ eat ๐Ÿ‘Œ fish ๐ŸŸ after ๐Ÿ˜ถ u ๐Ÿ˜ฏ drink water ๐Ÿบ bc ๐Ÿ˜ฐ it can ๐Ÿ‘ป swim in ๐ŸŠ ur stomach ๐Ÿ˜ฎ and u will ๐Ÿ˜ฒ feel ๐Ÿ˜• gulugulu in ur stomach ๐Ÿ˜“๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜ผ
twitch chat
March 2017

Emoji Pasta

I'm epic gamer style

twitchquotes: Yeah Iโ€™m not surprised your girl wants to leave you for me. Not my fault Iโ€™m fucking epic gamer style. Why wouldnโ€™t she wanna be with me lol I have a 3.2 kd in Fortnite, backseat game in Twitch chats, and I reddit hard as fuck. Sorry for being too dope
twitch chat
May 2019

Yeah I'm a virgin, so what?

Yeah I'm a virgin, so what? I'm waiting for the "right one", there's nothing wrong with that. Just because I'm 36 doesn't make it "weird" or make me a "loser". I have standards. I'm not going to give away my state of chastity to some bar/club "whore"; that's just not the kind of guy I am. I require a REAL women that will hold and care for me gently, and who can, above all else, love me for who I am. Once I find that person, I'll happily donate my virginity away. Until then, I am fine being a virgin. Besides, I have a fleshlight, so it's not like I don't know how it feels anyway. Maybe one day you immature keyboard cretins will understand that life isn't about just having sex for the accomplishment, it's about love and finding the "one" to share that experience with.
September 2021

i cannot support a stoner kripp

twitchquotes: wow. i cannot support a stoner kripp. i have given thousands of my hard earned money to you but i cannot sit idly by and let you use your platform to promote the devil's lettuce.
twitch chat
December 2018
Kripp

Hey chat, here's a high five for you

twitchquotes: (โ—žโ‰ผโ—‰เธทโ‰ฝโ—Ÿ ;็›Š;โ—žโ‰ผโ—‰เธทโ‰ฝโ—Ÿ) โ•ญโˆฉโˆฉโˆฉโˆฉโˆฉโ•ฎ HEY CHAT HERE'S A HIGH FIVE FOR YOU (โ—žโ‰ผโ—‰เธทโ‰ฝโ—Ÿ ;็›Š;โ—žโ‰ผโ—‰เธทโ‰ฝโ—Ÿ) โ•ญโˆฉโˆฉโˆฉโˆฉโˆฉโ•ฎ
twitch chat
November 2014
More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing