[Copypasta] Your cat is plotting to destroy you

twitchquotes: I'm your cat, and ever since you brought me home that day? Well, i've been plotting to destroy you. Sizing you up. Calculating your every move. You think this is love? This is a billion years of tiger DNA just ready to pounce. And if you've got the wrong home insurance coverage you could be coughing up the cash for this. So get Allstate and be better protected from Mayhem like meow
twitch chat
February 2020
I used to be a real ad
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Reddit and Twitter changed their logos

twitchquotes: My entire life I’ve been a hardcore anti-minority white man who despised anyone who didn’t look like me, but today I saw reddit and twitter changed their logos to the color black, and now I’m sitting here in shock just thinking about my choices in life. Wow.
twitch chat
June 2020

Artosis the Great

twitchquotes: Hello Kripparian! This is your lord and saviour, Artosis the Great! I have boarded my private jet to Greecerino to meet you and your lovely wiferino Rania. See you soon! Much loverino, please no dan marino gran torino
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp

Anime girl 6

⠄⠄⢿⣇⠄⠄⠘⣆⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⡿⣿⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⢧⡲⣿⢷⢦⡀ ⠄⠄⠈⣿⠄⠄⠄⢙⢞⢿⣿⢹⢿⣦⢏⣱⢿⠘⣿⣝⠹⢿⣿⡽⣿⣿⣏⣆⢿⣿⡞⠁ ⠄⠄⠄⢻⡀⠄⠄⠈⣾⡸⡏⢸⡾⣴⣿⣿⣶⣼⣎⢵⢀⡛⣿⣷⡙⡻⢻⡴⠨⠨⠖⠃ ⠄⠄⠄⠈⣧⢀⡴⠊⢹⠁⡇⠈⢣⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣿⣷⣜⡳⣝⢧⢃⢣⣼⢁⠘⠆⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢹⡇⠄⣠⠔⠚⣅⠄⢰⣶⣦⣭⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠿⣷⡧⠄⣘⣟⣸⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢷⠎⠄⠄⠄⣼⣦⠻⣿⣿⡟⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⡾⢱⣿⡏⠸⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⡄⠄⡄⠄⣿⢧⢗⠌⠻⣇⠿⠿⣸⣿⣿⡟⡐⣿⠟⢰⣇⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⡆⠄⠃⢠⠏⣤⢀⢢⡰⣭⣛⡉⠩⠭⡅⣾⢳⡴⡀⢸⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢀⣶⡟⣽⠼⢀⡕⢀⠘⠸⢮⡳⡻⡍⡷⡆⠤⠤⠭⢸⢳⣷⢸⡟⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣴⣿⢫⢞⣵⢏⡞⠄⢸⠄⣛⣗⠩⠄⣰⣚⠒⠂⣀⡀⢸⢸⣿⣧⠇⡼⣧⠄⠄⠄ ⢠⣾⢟⡴⢫⡾⣱⢟⠄⠄⢸⠄⢈⡓⡮⡦⡬⠽⡠⠄⠔⠄⢸⠈⣿⣿⡄⣷⢹⣆⠄⠄ ⡿⢁⠞⢀⣿⢣⠇⣿⠄⠄⠸⢀⢳⢣⣗⣿⡇⡔⠄⠔⠄⠄⢠⠄⠹⣿⣷⡝⣧⢻⣆
ascii art
December 2018

Weebs

What are these mods doing?

twitchquotes: What the fuck are these mods doing? The whole chat is being spammed and absolutely nothing is being done about it. This is the worst fucking stream I have ever watched. I have wonder why anybody would purchase a subscription to this shit hole. This message will probably be drowned out by the circlejerk going on in chat. Fuck you, you fucking spammers. You ruined my fucking day.
twitch chat
August 2018

MODS

I hate Twitch Chat

Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub

Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub -- shower water raining down from above. It was very nice and ended nicely. Later that day, I went to take a shit. Shit wouldn't come out, and I felt an odd tugging sensation between my ass cheeks. Thought I was dying and started freaking out while I tried to pinch my shit off to investigate. Turns out my jizz had found its way into my ass cheeks while laying down in the tub, mingled with all my ass hair, and solidified into a gelatinous plaster. Upon shitting, the hair was so fucked together that my cheeks couldn't separate for the shit to emerge (felt like that playdoh hair salon toy). I ended up having such a massacre of shitcum on my ass and hands that I had to get back in the shower just to clean off.
December 2020
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