[Copypasta] So that was a bruh moment

twitchquotes: She said she was “pregnant,” but I wasn’t buying that. I knew she had gas, and a lot of it. I knew that, if properly coaxed out, she had to potential for the greatest fart *EVER*. So one night I walked into her room and slowly approached her belly, and with my entire weight, I performed the greatest pile driver I have ever done. But instead of the thunderous sound expected, I heard a squish sound. Turns out she was pregnant. So that was a bruh moment.
twitch chat
November 2020
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Roleplay as a tournament organizer

twitchquotes: (◕‿◕✿) Hi Amaz, could you roleplay as a tournament organizer, but then get caught re-seeding your friends and pretend that your tournament is legit? Thanks (◕‿◕✿)
twitch chat
March 2015
Amaz

Hearthstone

Pro players that go to tournaments are not the best

twitchquotes: The "pro" players that go to tournaments and stuff are NOT the best players in the world, not even close. These are just the best players of the type of losers who have the personality deficiency that compels them to actually go to gaming tournaments.
twitch chat
April 2019

I am the PUBG MOBILE elite pro killer

twitchquotes: They criticized me. They called called me the salt mine. They called me the hs arena cry-baby. But look at me now. I am the PUBG MOBILE elite pro killer. Navy SEALs have nothing on me. Get gud chat cause I'm coming for you.
twitch chat
April 2018
Kripp

sellout

PlayerUnknown's Battlegrounds

Control V

twitchquotes: ຈل͜ຈ ɪ ᴄᴛʀʟ ᴠ ᴛʜɪɴɢs ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴄʜᴀᴛ ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ɪ ᴀᴍ ᴀ ᴍɪɴᴅʟᴇss ʀᴇᴛᴀʀᴅ ຈل͜ຈ
twitch chat
August 2014
EtrnlWait

Policeman that tries to give me freedom and liberty

twitchquotes: (ʘ͡ ʖ͜ ʘ͡ ง) I AM AMERIFAG. I have a 9000% chance to get SHOT BY A POLICEMAN THAT TRIES TO GIVE ME FREEDOM AND LIBERTY than a citizen of the EUROPE (ʘ͡ ʖ͜ ʘ͡ ง)
twitch chat
December 2014

EU vs NA

Text-to-Speech Playing