[Copypasta] So that was a bruh moment

twitchquotes: She said she was “pregnant,” but I wasn’t buying that. I knew she had gas, and a lot of it. I knew that, if properly coaxed out, she had to potential for the greatest fart *EVER*. So one night I walked into her room and slowly approached her belly, and with my entire weight, I performed the greatest pile driver I have ever done. But instead of the thunderous sound expected, I heard a squish sound. Turns out she was pregnant. So that was a bruh moment.
twitch chat
November 2020
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Kripp and the Hardcore Police

twitchquotes: ༼ ▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿ ༽ Kripp, this is the hardcore police, it has come to our attention that you RIP in peace above the allowed average hardcore limit. We are here to inform you that your channel prefix must be changed into cl (casual-life) as a repercussion to better represent your current lifestyle. This will be the last warning. ༼ ▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿ ༽ ᴊ
twitch chat
May 2014
Kripp

Alone in his heart, Reynard commits saltdoku

twitchquotes: "Tides my player," say the Reynardino, "you are my slaverrino, why don't you make videos?" But the Tides don't respond. He elopes to C9 and runs his hand through his unshaven face scruff and say "Well met!" to the twisted Kolento. Alone in his heart, Reynard commits saltdoku at a Saltbucks in San Bernardino with Al Pacino, no cappucino.
twitch chat
November 2014
Reynad

Daniel Craig Cock And Ball Torture

As Daniel Craig says goodbye to the role of James Bond, let us revisit one of the greatest films in the series. Casino Royale (2006) Daniel Craig receiving some intense cock and ball torture at the hands of Mads Mikkelsen has to be my favourite scene from any Bond film. Right next to the opening of Skyfall. How appropriate is it that a character who has been the face of masculinity for half a century, nearly gets emasculated by someone who possesses none of that virility. Le Chiffre (played by Mikkelsen) is in many ways the opposite of Bond. He lacks the vigour, sex appeal, and chivalry of 007. When a warlord threatens to cut off his girlfriend’s arm, Le Chiffre, out of fear does not object, to which even the warlord comments that she should find a better boyfriend. He suffers from Asthma and Haemolacria (Acute Haemolacria tends to occur in fertile women because of hormones). He even comments during the c and b torture session that he desires to ruin the body that Bond has taken such good care of (There is a hint of jealousy in his voice as he says this). And yet, it is Bond who is strapped to the chair. The camera zooming in on his grimacing face at every strike to his manhood. This castration is also a symbolic one. The weakness and decline of the British empire is a key theme that is explored throughout the Craig Bond films. The idea that the CIA had to donate money to Bond so he could beat a man at a game of Poker, and yet still end up at the mercy of this traditionally impotent individual who is unaffiliated with any country, and has amassed all his power through his ability to control money — paints a damning picture of the power of modern day Britain. And it says a lot about what power really means in our modern world. The opening theme by Chris Cornell is truly remarkable, and some of the action sequences here are the series’ most memorable. For me, this is the greatest Bond film ever. As the man himself says goodbye to the role with the release of No Time To Die, it must be said that no one has embodied the character of James Bond and humanized him quite like Craig has. Nowhere is this more apparent than in Casino Royale. The ice-cold blue eyes that occasionally hint at soft vulnerability, will truly be missed. Daniel Craig can walk away with pride knowing he has been the greatest ever to play such an icon.
December 2021

I'll do it. I'll stream Final Fantasy

twitchquotes: Kripp is chained to the chair, sobbing as the man hacks at his face with a razor. He cries as the last bit of his beard is cut away, sapping him of his Romanian gypsy powers. "Please don't hurt her. I'll do whatever you want" says Kripp. The man with the razor laughs and says "Are you ready to accept the deal? Or do we need to hurt Pupparian?" Kripp shakes his head. "I'll do it. I'll stream Final Fantasy." WutFace
twitch chat
March 2016
Kripp

PepeLMAO

⡿⣛⣵⣶⡿⠿⠛⠛⠻⠿⢿⣿⣯⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣌⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣾⣿⣿⣭⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⢻⣶⣌⢫⣿⢻⣿⡿⡶⠖⠒⠨⢸⢟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠆⢃⣾⣯⠮⠂⡒⢠⣠⢄⣙⠝⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡭⠖⢒⠭⠁⠠⠕⢸⢈⣥⣬⠁⠄⢂⢠⣾⣶⠆⣦⣝⡻⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠔⠠⠔⠒⠄⡨⣰⠆⢳⠾⢿⣭⣭⣶⠿⠟⠉⠄⠠⠻⣿⣮⢻⣿ ⣿⣷⠶⢒⡞⡱⡚⣠⣎⡁⠴⣊⣠⡆⣷⣿⡷⠖⣀⣠⣶⠶⠞⣁⡀⠄⠘⣿⣷⠹ ⣿⣿⣯⣴⡈⢞⢆⣿⣷⣶⣿⡿⠟⣐⣭⣴⠶⢛⣫⣥⣶⣞⢿⣷⣻⠄⠄⢸⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣶⢤⣍⡉⢡⢀⣰⠾⠟⡁⢴⣶⣹⣿⣷⡹⣿⣷⠻⠏⠄⡀⢸⣿⡇ ⣿⡟⣸⣿⡿⠋⡺⠠⡃⢀⣋⢥⣶⡻⣿⣯⢿⢷⣙⣿⣽⣰⣿⡏⣷⢰⡇⣼⣿⡇ ⣿⣇⣿⣿⡇⣿⡇⠄⠄⠻⣿⣧⢿⣷⡻⣿⣧⢿⣿⡾⣿⣧⣿⣧⡟⣼⣱⣿⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠙⣿⣧⠸⣄⠘⠻⣵⢻⣷⡽⣿⣏⣿⣷⠿⣛⣈⡍⣰⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠈⠛⢷⣼⣿⣷⣌⡻⠛⣓⣛⣉⣤⠴⠿⢛⣡⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠡ ⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡦⣌⣉⣉⣉⣛⣛⣶⣶⣶⢶⣶⣶⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⡿⠿⢋⣴⡇ ⣶⣦⣍⣛⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠾⠿⠿⠿⠿⢓⣛⣩⡅⢰⣿⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣦⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣀⣒⠲⢾⣶⣶⣿⣿⠿⠟⣋⣴⣿⣿⣿
December 2018

Pepe

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