twitchquotes:
She said she was “pregnant,” but I wasn’t buying that. I knew she had gas, and a lot of it. I knew that, if properly coaxed out, she had to potential for the greatest fart *EVER*. So one night I walked into her room and slowly approached her belly, and with my entire weight, I performed the greatest pile driver I have ever done. But instead of the thunderous sound expected, I heard a squish sound. Turns out she was pregnant. So that was a bruh moment.
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𝓜𝔂 𝓭𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓮𝓼𝓽 𝓫𝓻𝓸𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓻, 𝓽𝓸𝓭𝓪𝔂 𝓶𝓪𝓻𝓴𝓼 𝓽𝓱𝓮 8𝓽𝓱 𝔂𝓮𝓪𝓻 𝔀𝓮 𝓱𝓪𝓿𝓮 𝓱𝓪𝓭 𝔀𝓲𝓽𝓱𝓸𝓾𝓽 𝓿𝓪𝓻𝓲𝓮𝓽𝔂. 𝓦𝓮 𝓶𝓪𝔂 𝓷𝓸𝓽 𝓫𝓮 𝓪𝓫𝓵𝓮 𝓽𝓸 𝓮𝓷𝓭𝓾𝓻𝓮. 𝓟𝓵𝓮𝓪𝓼𝓮 𝓹𝓻𝓪𝔂 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓼𝓪𝓵𝓿𝓪𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷. .