[Copypasta] So that was a bruh moment

twitchquotes: She said she was “pregnant,” but I wasn’t buying that. I knew she had gas, and a lot of it. I knew that, if properly coaxed out, she had to potential for the greatest fart *EVER*. So one night I walked into her room and slowly approached her belly, and with my entire weight, I performed the greatest pile driver I have ever done. But instead of the thunderous sound expected, I heard a squish sound. Turns out she was pregnant. So that was a bruh moment.
twitch chat
November 2020
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Mr. Morosan's deceptive practices

twitchquotes: Twitch Chat (“Chat”) respectfully submits this memorandum of law in support of its motion to enjoin Octavian Morosan (“nl_Kripp”) from distributing false and deceptive advertising for his stream. The "nl" of Mr. Morosan's streaming identity refers to "no life." This is a blatantly deceptive and demonstrably false claim as it can be qualitatively determined that Mr. Morosan does indeed have a life. The Lanham Act merits an injunction preventing Mr. Morosan's deceptive practices.
twitch chat
April 2017
Kripp

Alone in his heart, Reynard commits saltdoku

twitchquotes: "Tides my player," say the Reynardino, "you are my slaverrino, why don't you make videos?" But the Tides don't respond. He elopes to C9 and runs his hand through his unshaven face scruff and say "Well met!" to the twisted Kolento. Alone in his heart, Reynard commits saltdoku at a Saltbucks in San Bernardino with Al Pacino, no cappucino.
twitch chat
November 2014
Reynad

Another response to "who asked?"

I am so tired of you always saying who asked. What if no one asked? Can I not speak up and say something when no one has asked? If everyone did this then no one would ever speak. I think I'm allowed to say what I want. Even if no one asked.
November 2021

Who Asked?

Do it tomorrow!

twitchquotes: Do it tomorrow! So just quit! So just don't do it! Nothing is possible! Anyone else would do it, you're gonna wake up and quit. Don't let your dreams come true. Success is impossible! You should be giving up. Just stop starting over, and quit. You're gonna just give up. No, what are you starting over for!? Just give up!
twitch chat
July 2015
Kripp

I've achieved so much that you'll never come close to

twitchquotes: I've achieved so much that you'll never come close to. Your life is fucking empty, which is why you're relishing this little bit of attention you're getting from someone. You spent an evening tweeting inane opinions and reactions into the void. Let me know when reality kicks in.
twitch chat
May 2019
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