[Copypasta] So that was a bruh moment

twitchquotes: She said she was “pregnant,” but I wasn’t buying that. I knew she had gas, and a lot of it. I knew that, if properly coaxed out, she had to potential for the greatest fart *EVER*. So one night I walked into her room and slowly approached her belly, and with my entire weight, I performed the greatest pile driver I have ever done. But instead of the thunderous sound expected, I heard a squish sound. Turns out she was pregnant. So that was a bruh moment.
twitch chat
November 2020
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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My boss recently discovered Among Us

Oh my fucking god guys I am fucking fuming. So the other day at work my boss told us that he recently discovered the video game Among Us, and ever since, his behaviour has become rather concerning. He now refers to me and my coworkers as 'crewmates'. Last Wednesday, when he noticed my teenage colleague slacking off at his workstation, he yelled at him saying he was "faking his tasks" and is "acting sus". I confronted my boss telling him that his behaviour lately has been egregious and immature, and he proceeded to call me an idiot and yelled "kicked!" The next day I caught him dancing around in his office blasting "among drip" from his desktop at full volume. I entered his office to kindly ask him to turn off the music since it was distracting to me and my coworkers. He looked at me angrily, telling me he has called an "emergency meeting", instructing me to have a seat. I asked him what was the matter and he told me that I have been acting extremely "sus". He repeatedly yelled "you're the impostor", telling me to say goodbye to my job because I have been "ejected". I fucking lost my job and I don't know what to do. Please help me Reddit! I have nowhere else to turn.
March 2021

Among Us / Amogus

This AI's hero power is CRAZY!

twitchquotes: ☑ “This AI's hero power is CRAZY!” ☑ “My deck can't win against a hero power like that” ☑ "He NEEDED precisely those 4/4s to win" ☑ “He hero powered the only card that could beat me” ☑ "He had the perfect hero power" ☑ “There was nothing I could do” ☑ “I played that perfectly"
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

Hearthstone

This Copypasta Is CRAZY!

Are you really shitting on Pokémon Unite bro?

Are you really shitting on Pokémon Unite bro? That’s pretty fucking cringe. This is a highly skilled game that requires teamwork. Communication. Hard work. Blood. Sweat. Tears. If your puny mind fails to see this game is all about skill then just go back to playing baby ass LoL you fucking pleb.
July 2021

Kripp's history

twitchquotes: Paparrian was born in Germany, the youngest of the five children (three of whom survived) of Hanz Hector Paparrian, from a noble family of the province of Freiberg. In 1932, he began his medical career in Theodor Meynert's psychiatric clinic at the Trollstein General Hospital. The same year, he married Mamarrian, the granddaughter of Isaac Bernays, a chief rabbi in Hamburg. In the summer of 1935, the couple had a beautiful and gifted child: Kripp. On 15 September 1935, Hitler presented two laws who deprived so-called "non-Aryans" of the benefits of German citizenship. The young parents, extremely afraid for the future of their beautiful child, where confronted to a question that would forever change the fate of the world: was Krip Aryan?
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Pikachu

⠸⣷⣦⠤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⣤⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠙⣿⡄⠈⠑⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠔⠊⠉⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠈⠣⡀⠀⠀⠑⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠊⠁⠀⠀⣰⠟⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠢⣄⠀⡈⠒⠊⠉⠁⠀⠈⠉⠑⠚⠀⠀⣀⠔⢊⣠⠤⠒⠊⠉⠀⡜ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡽⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠩⡔⠊⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠇ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⢠⡤⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⢤⣄⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠇⠹⠿⠟⠀⠀⠤⠀⠀⠻⠿⠟⠀⣇⠀⠀⡀⠠⠄⠒⠊⠁⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⡆⠀⠰⠤⠖⠦⠴⠀⢀⣶⣿⣿⠀⠙⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠿⡿⠛⢄⠀⠀⠱⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠈⠓⠦⠀⣀⣀⣀⠀⡠⠴⠊⠹⡞⣁⠤⠒⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⡌⠉⠉⡤⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⠿⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⠁⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⢰⠃⠀⠀⠀⢠⠀⢣⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢶⣗⠧⡀⢳⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣀⣸⠀⠀⠀⢀⡜⠀⣸⢤⣶⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣦⣈⣧⡀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⠀⠀⢀⣼⡀⣨⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⠿⠿⠓⠄⠤⠘⠉⠙⠤⢀⠾⠿⣿⠟⠋
ascii art
February 2021

Pokemon

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