[Copypasta] So that was a bruh moment

twitchquotes: She said she was “pregnant,” but I wasn’t buying that. I knew she had gas, and a lot of it. I knew that, if properly coaxed out, she had to potential for the greatest fart *EVER*. So one night I walked into her room and slowly approached her belly, and with my entire weight, I performed the greatest pile driver I have ever done. But instead of the thunderous sound expected, I heard a squish sound. Turns out she was pregnant. So that was a bruh moment.
twitch chat
November 2020
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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KFC v2

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠛⢉⣉⣉⣉⣉⡛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⠻⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠉⣤⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣤⠀⠁⠀⠄⠀⠄⠀⠌⠉⠛ ⣟⠉⠁⠀⠀⢀⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠐⠀⠐⠀⠐⠀ ⡟⠀⠀⠀⠒⠋⠉⠉⠈⠀⠉⠉⠙⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠈⢀⠈⠀⠄ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣴⠖⢁⣠⣶⣶⣶⣦⣴⣿⣿⣻⣾⣿⣾⣿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⡀⠂⠀ ⠀⣀⣰⣾⡿⠁⢠⣻⣽⣿⣟⣿⣟⣿⣿⣽⣿⢿⣷⡿⣟⣿⣷⣷⠹⣿⡆⠀⠀⡀⠁ ⠘⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⡾⣽⣿⣯⣿⣿⣻⣿⣽⣿⣽⣿⡿⣿⣿⢿⣻⣾⡀⠸⣯⠀⠀⠀⠄ ⠀⣺⡿⠀⠀⢨⣟⣿⣽⣯⣿⣾⣿⣿⣽⣿⣽⣿⢿⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⡆⠈⠀⠀⠂⠀ ⠀⢺⡯⠀⠀⣼⢾⢻⠿⠻⠿⠽⣷⣿⣯⣿⠿⠚⠛⠙⠉⢈⣀⠠⠌⣀⠀⡀⠀⢀⠁ ⠀⠈⠟⢀⣀⢈⣀⠄⢀⢤⠀⠀⠀⠉⣉⣌⠀⢀⠀⠊⢑⣒⠈⠀⣸⣿⡀⣿⡀⠀⡀ ⠀⠀⢰⡆⠀⠈⠁⠂⣩⣤⣤⣤⡀⠀⣾⣿⣦⣼⣿⣾⣿⢿⡾⢀⣿⣟⣿⡯⠂⠀⡀ ⠀⠀⠀⠑⠀⠀⠹⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⢀⣷⣿⣟⣿⡯⢿⢾⣿⣷⣾⣿⣻⣿⠃⠀⢀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⣤⡿⣿⡾⠂⠰⡅⠓⡿⣿⡻⠃⣄⠈⠚⣽⣾⡿⣟⠛⠀⠀⠄⠀ ⠀⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠁⠀⠀⠀⣤⣤⣀⣀⣴⣿⣿⣷⣤⡀⢸⣿⡇⠀⠀⠐⠈⣿ ⠀⠀⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⡦⠀⠐⠟⠋⠉⠉⣁⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⡧⠀⠐⠀⢼⣿ ⠀⠁⡀⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣽⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⣉⣥⣤⣦⣶⣿⣷⢐⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠒⠛⠛ ⠀⠄⠀⠐⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⣮⣄⡦⠀⠀⣄⣻⣿⣿⣿⣻⣾⣿⣿⡛⠀⣄⠀⠈⠀⠂ ⠀⠠⠈⠀⠂⠁⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⠛⠅⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣿⠷⠋⢀⣰⣿⡆⠠⣄⠀ ⠀⠄⠂⠐⠀⠁⠀⠀⢀⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠎⠁⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⡇⢸⡾⡀ ⠀⠠⠐⠀⠂⠁⠀⠀⠸⣾⣗⣦⣀⡀⠀⠀⠛⠿⣿⠏⠀⠤⠚⠛⣿⣿⣿⡃⣸⣿⠆ ⠀⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⠀⢿⣿⣿⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⢰⣿⣿⢧ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠨⣿⢦⠈⢿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡄⠀⠀⢢⣀⠐⢶⣽⣿⠏⣾⣿⣿⣯ ⣿⡳⠀⠀⠀⠀⠨⣿⣯⣷⡈⢻⣿⣿⡏⣴⡟⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣷⣦⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷ ⣿⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⣿⣿⣷⣿⣦⣙⣿⣿⣻⠁⠀⣲⠀⠀⠹⠿⠟⠟⠛⠋⠋⢉⣉⡉ ⡇⠀⠀⠄⠂⠀⠀⠻⠿⠟⠋⠋⠉⠉⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⡀⠄⢹⣿⠀⠌⣿⡇ ⣷⣄⡀⠠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⢀⠀⠄⠀⠄⠂⠐⠈⢀⠠⠀⢀⠠⢸⣿⡅⠀⢿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⡀⢀⠠⠀⠂⠁⠀⡀⠀⠄⠂⢀⠐⠀⠂⠀⡀⠄⢀⠀⠨⣿⣇⠀⢘⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣄⣐⠈⠀⡀⠄⠀⠂⢀⠠⠐⠀⠁⢀⠀⡀⠄⠂⣿⣷⡀⠄⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣷⣶⣤⣤⣥⣀⣄⣀⣂⣈⣀⣠⣠⣤⣤⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿
ascii art
August 2021

Hey chat. Please refrain from talking

twitchquotes: Hey chat. Please refrain from talking as I am a new guy here & I wanted to talk to the streamer 1 on 1... thanks guys for listening
twitch chat
April 2018

Honestly, that's what I call a cool story bro

twitchquotes: Honestly, that's what I call a cool story bro. Such a riveting tale, I honestly copy and pasted it to word, saved on my hard drive, backed it up on a jump drive, drove to the bank, put the jump drive in the safe deposit box, and will leave it there until my kids turn about 12 (when they can actually state their age, and ask what it is I'm showing them), when I will pick it up, put it in an old USB drive reader and relay this cool story to them and tell them, "kids, this is what a cool story should look and sound like...not like the stories your generation tells.
twitch chat
April 2020

Classic

paul "scarra" walker

twitchquotes: Yesterday we lost a good man. I'm of course talking about Paul "Scarra" Walker. He was on his way home from raising his dongers when a drunk driver named Marcus "Dyrone" Hill crashed into him. Dyrone has now been placed into custody.
twitch chat
July 2014
Dyrus

Empirre is a terrible streamer

twitchquotes: Empirre is a terrible streamer and should be banned from twitch and this subreddit. Stop calling him australian xqc, you can't compare anything or anyone to this man. He makes hitler look good. On top of all of this, Empirrre broke into my house, killed my wife and daughter, stole all my life savings and burned the place down while I was at work. I honestly don't know what to do with my life anymore, he's taken everything from me. Love his streams tho keep it up empiL
twitch chat
July 2020
Empirrre
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