I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
Peter Griffin Slug
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣖⣿⠿⢿⣿⣶⣶⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣯⡯⡄⢦⣳⡶⢞⣿⣵⣽⡏⠋⣽⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⡠⣠⡀⠘⢾⣽⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠄⠀⠀⢀⢨⣿⣥⣠⣄⣿⣿⡅⠁⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⠶⠺⠳⠄⠀⠀⠀⠰⠈⠭⠝⠊⠿⠅⠁⠐⠀⣧⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⢾⠏⢥⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣈⣟⣳⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡾⣁⠰⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⡆⠐⢨⡷⣄⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠟⠅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⢠⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡏⢾⡿⣯⣀⢋⡿⡆⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠖⣴⣴⢟⠅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠢⡀⢻⣿⣃⢽⠇⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⡃⡀⠀⠀⠀⣘⠽⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⡀⢠⡄⠀⢀⣼⣿⡜⣿⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⣿⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢒⣆⣔⣲⣶⣶⣤⡴⣟⠛⡋⠖⠪⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣽⡧⡎⣤⠆⢰⢸⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠃⠉⠉⣉⠚⠛⠊⠘⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣇⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⢾⡟⣿⣿⡶⣝⣾⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣼⠏⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣟⢿⣽⣾⣽⡟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣮⣞⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⡉⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⢚⢲⣶⣤⣤⣤⣦⣥⡽⠶⡟⡛⠇⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⣴⣺⠿⢭⡭⠉⠉⠉⢐⡙⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢱⡾⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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⠀⣿⣦⢬⣭⣾⣧⣓⡀⡤⢈⡙⢣⣝⡳⠞⡃⠀⠀⠀⠀⡴⠀⢀⣶⣴⣦⣥⡀⠐⠟⢟⠛⡛⠛⠿⠻⢛⠛⢛⠭⠈⢌⡼⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠈⠛⠺⠾⠿⠇⠈⠉⠉⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠓⠶⠦⠿⢿⣿⣽⣿⣦⣀⣦⣭⣭⠵⠤⠦⠴⠾⠦⠤⠤⠶⠶⠛⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Family Guy
I just screenshotted your NFT FAQ (Reddit)
I just screenshotted your NFT.
You may be concerned about this. In case you are, please read the below:
# FAQ:
## Why did you screenshot my NFT?
I'm not going to tell you.
## Did you screenshot anybody else's NFTs?
You could say I am screenshotting everybody's NFTs, but in the case I am telling you that I screenshotted your NFT.
## How are you screenshotting my NFTs?
I screenshot when you post them on your profile.
## What are you planning to do with my NFTs?
Have them all.
## What do I do about you screenshotting my NFTs?
There's nothing you can do.
## When are you going to stop screenshotting my NFTs?
You cannot escape me.
## Do I call the police?
No. The authorities will not help you.
## What are the consequences of you screenshotting my NFTs?
Be aware.
## What if I am ok with you screenshotting my NFTs?
I will make sure you’re not.
If there are any more questions then please consult your NFT wallet by directly speaking to it.
## Summary:
I am screenshotting your NFTs.
Ben Shapiro destroys another leftist
"Mr. Shapiro, what are your thoughts on women's rights to have an abortion?"
Ben: "WELL, that's a very interesting QUESTION, SIR. Before I get started, did you know that my WIFE is a DOCTOR?"
Reporter: "...Mr. Shapiro, that's- not-"
Ben: "I didn't think so, LEFTIST. Now back to your question- 'should women be allowed to MURDER and SHOOT innocent BABIES and CHILDREN?"
Reporter: "Sir, that's not what my orig-"
Ben: "OBVIOUSLY not. Now according to PragerU UNIVERSITY, there once was a FARMER who had a DOG, and Bingo was his name-o. Do you know how to spell it?"
Reporter: (silence)
Ben: "B-I-N-G-O. And Bingo was his name-o."
(Stares reporter in the eye; has not blinked since the asked question)
"B, I, N G O, B, I, N G O, B, I, N G O, And Bingo was his name-o."
Reporter: (Visibly taken aback) "Mr. Shapiro, this is ridiculo-"
(The conservative crowd begins laughing and shouting and singing with Ben)
All: "And Bingo was his name-o!"
(Ben shouting as the curtains close,) "Another CUCK LEFTIST DESTROYED! BAZINGA!"
Ben Shapiro
All this mass market pasta is frankly embarrassing
twitchquotes:
All this mass market pasta is frankly embarrassing. Sure its easy to go grab a box of ready to cook ocean man emoji or witch mercy, but easy doesn't make it good. It honestly isn't that hard to make your own damn pasta at home, and with whatever quality ingredients you want. Want some ME SPAM? Just put it in there! Can anyone truly say they've participated in chat if they've never made their own pasta? I say no
twitch chat
Anime girl 5
⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢀⢀⠍⠙⢿⡟⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠈⢀⡤⢲⣾⣗⠲⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠻
⡀⢙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢀⠰⠁⢰⣾⣿⣿⡇⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄
⣇⢀⢀⠙⠷⣍⠛⠛⢀⢀⢀⢀⠙⠋⠉⢀⢀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷
⡙⠆⢀⣀⠤⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣷⣖⠋⠁⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣀⣀⣄⢀⢀⢀⢀⢸⠏⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿
⣿⣷⡀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⡒⠉⠉⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢈⣴⣿⣿⡿⢀⡿
⣿⣿⣷⣄⢀⢀⢀⢀⠐⠄⢀⢀⢀⠈⢀⣀⣴⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⢀⣡
⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠢⣤⣄⢀⢀⣀⠠⢴⣾⣿⣿⡿⢋⠟⢡⣿⣿⣿
⢀⠘⠿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣹⣿⣀⣀⣀⣀⠘⠛⠋⠁⡀⣄⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿
⢀⢀⢀⠈⠛⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⢀⢀⢀⣡⣾⣿⣿⣿⡟⣹⣿
⢀⢀⢀⢀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣶⣿⡿⢛⢿⡇⠟⠰⣿⣿
⢀⢀⢀⢀⣿⣿⣿⡿⢉⣭⢭⠏⣿⡿⢸⡏⣼⣿⢴⡇⢸⣿⣶⣿
⢀⢀⢀⢰⣿⣿⣿⢃⣶⣶⡏⠸⠟⣱⣿⣧⣛⣣⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⢀⢀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⠟⢻⡿⡉⣷⣬⡛⣵⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⢀⢀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢰⠘⣰⣇⣿⣿⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⢀⢀⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⢺⣿⠟⣩⣭⣽⣇⠲⠶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⢀⠐⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢐⡈⣿⣷⣶⠎⣹⡟⠟⣛⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠠⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣼⣿⣷⣿⣷⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿