I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
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More Copypastas
joe biden said he was the impostor
I π met joe biden at πΈπ¦ 3 ππ am π he said π¬π he was the ππ€ impostor guys β should ππ« i π believe π» him π¨π© im πΌ soo scared β i dont π‘ know π€β what to ππΆ do π help π me π out. 
Emoji Pasta
I couldnβt tell you what half of the companies in my portfolio do
I couldnβt tell you what half of the companies in my portfolio do or even what the ticker stands for...but you better believe Iβm jacked to the mfβing tits in every single meme stonk that you crayon eaters have been pumping. CHOO CHOO MFβER.
WallStreetBets
Coke Gaming ad script
twitchquotes:
Oh my god, what the hell? what's going on? What, oh my god. Coke, are you serious right now? COKE GAMING WHAT! You are invited to the Twitch Partner Program! HI, I Just got partnered. We got partnered boys. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! What! Coke Gaming, what Is this? 10,000 bits? Coke Gaming, thank you so much for the 10,000 bits! Thanks. Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you Coke.
twitch chat
Two guys are in a boat with three cigarettes
twitchquotes:
Two guys are in a boat with three cigarettes. They had no fire, so they threw one of the cigarettes overboard, and the entire boat became a cigarette lighter.
twitch chat
Reynad
Bender demends a voltron deck
twitchquotes:
Β¦Μ΅ Μ΅ Μ΅ Μ΅ Μ΅(Μ’ Μ‘βΜ
βΝ (β€8Χββ¦ BENDER demands a VOLTRON deck
twitch chat
Kripp