[Copypasta] I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times.

I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
August 2021
I used to be a real ad
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Lenny face middle finger

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March 2017

Kripp BMs an opponent in Hearthstone 2

twitchquotes: Hey guys, I want to tell you about a terrible experience I had. I'm quite a nice guy but I've had a rough time lately. Kripp said I was a "Mind-blowingly bad hunter" or something like that. This made me a bit sad, but it got worse though. Kripp then said "This guy is a garbage human being", and he said that I'm "a super shit person". I don't know why this guy was being so toxic towards me. He seemed to be a grown man living in a palace, but he hated me so much and he's never even met me. :(
twitch chat
July 2019
Kripp

Hearthstone

WHEN THE IMPOSTOR IS SUS (text)

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April 2021

Among Us / Amogus

If my girl and my fidget spinners are both drowning

twitchquotes: If my girlπŸ‘§πŸ˜ and my fidget spinners πŸ’―πŸ”₯ are both drowning🌊😦 and I could only save oneπŸ˜„β˜οΈοΈ you can Catch me letting it spin at my girls funeralπŸ˜…πŸ‘»πŸ’€ Cause it's fidget spinner or catch a fade πŸ™πŸ‘Š
twitch chat
May 2017

Emoji Pasta

Fidget Spinner

As Jeff Kaplan stares at me through my computer screen

twitchquotes: As Jeff Kaplan stares at me through my computer screen, I begin to contemplate reality. What truly has substance in this realm of technology, avarice and sin? What is our future, if not a blank, hollow nothing, rife with silence and strife? PogChamp
twitch chat
January 2018

Overwatch

Text-to-Speech Playing