[Copypasta] I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times.

I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
August 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Kripp fills me completely with value

twitchquotes: I stayed up all night, dreaming of this moment. My pulse is racing. Discarded salt packets and OJ cartons are strewn across the filthy bedroom floor. "Oh look it's another sub," says the Kripp. I am now fully erect. "Welcome to the five dollar club, bro" I barely hear as a single tear runs down my cheek while Kripp's fist fills me completely with value.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Grim Reaper

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢤⣶⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⡾⠿⢿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣶⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣦⣴⣿⡋⠀⠀⠈⢳⡄⠀⢠⣾⣿⠁⠈⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⠿⠛⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠹⡄⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⢹⡇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⡿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣏⢻⣿⣿⡆⠀⠸⣿⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⣿⣿⣆⠹⣿⣷⠀⢘⣿⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢀⡾⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⠋⠉⠛⠂⠹⠿⣲⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀ ⠀⢠⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⡇⢀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀ ⠰⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⡘⢿⣿⣿⣿⠀ ⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⣷⡈⠿⢿⣿⡆ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠛⠁⢙⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⡿⠀⠀⢀⣿⡇ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣶⣤⣉⣛⠻⠇⢠⣿⣾⣿⡄⢻⡇ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠁ ⠀⠀⠀⠀🈵⠀YOUR TIME HAS COME 🈵⠀
June 2021

When Kripp plays Reno warrior...

twitchquotes: Captain's log, entry 69, stardate 420. It has been 9001 days since the SS Kripp first entered into this game of hearthstone, and still there appears to be no signs of release, no way out. I fear for the lives of myself and my crew, we may all pass of old age before we are freed from this particular game.
twitch chat
November 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

Mr. Musk I don’t feel so good.

Mr. Musk I don’t feel so good. ༼ つ ◕_ ◕ ༽つ ༼ つ ◕_ ◕ ::;:.::..:. . . . . . . . . . . . ༼ つ ◕_ :;:.::..:. . . . . . . . . . . . . . ༼ つ :;:.::..:::....:.:... . . . . . . . . . ༼ ;::,':;:.::..:::....:.:... . . . . . . . . .
December 2020

WallStreetBets

48 year man from Somalia, sorry for bad England

twitchquotes: HELLO AM 48 YEAR MAN FROM SOMALIA. SORRY FOR BAD ENGLAND. I SELLED MY WIFE FOR INTERNET CONNECTION FOR PLAY "hearth stone" AND I WANT TO BECOME THE GOODEST PLAYER LIKE YOU I PLAY WITH 400 PING ON BRAZIL SERVER AND I AM RANK 23 ALREADY PLS NO COPY PASTE MY STORY
twitch chat
March 2014
Reynad

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing