[Copypasta] I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times.

I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
August 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Imaqtpie submits his Pocket Pick

twitchquotes: Hi Mr Santana. Marc Merrill here. Your recent submission to our 'Pocket Pick' video series left us scratching our chins. Whilst we agree that pepperoni has a nice "twang", the video was supposed to be about your favorite champion, NOT your favorite Hot Pocket. We would appreciate it if you could remake the video, thanks.
twitch chat
March 2017
imaqtpie

League of Legends

AYAYA 3

⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⡇⡇⣿⣿⡇⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿ ⡟⢸⣿⣿⣭⣭⡭⣼⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣧⣇⠇⢸⣿⣿⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠘⣿ ⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣻⡿⣿⣿⡟⣿⢸⣿⣿⠇⡆⣝⠿⡌⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿ ⢣⢾⣾⣷⣾⣽⣻⣿⣇⣿⣿⣧⣿⢸⣿⣿⡆⢸⣹⣿⣆⢥⢛⡿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿ ⣛⡓⣉⠉⠙⠻⢿⣿⣿⣟⣻⠿⣹⡏⣿⣿⣧⢸⣧⣿⣿⣨⡟⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿ ⠸⣷⣹⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⢿⣿⣿⣯⣳⣿⣭⣽⢼⣿⣜⣿⣇⣷⡹⣿⣿⣿⠁⢰⣿ ⠄⢻⣷⣿⡄⢈⠿⠇⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠛⠲⢯⣿⣒⡾⣼⣷⡹⣿⣿⠄⣼⣿ ⡄⢸⣿⣿⣷⣬⣽⣯⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠄⢀⠉⠙⠛⠛⠳⠽⠿⢠⣿⣿ ⡇⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢄⣹⡿⠃⠄⠄⣰⠎⡈⣾⣿⣿ ⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣭⣽⣖⣄⣴⣯⣾⢷⣿⣿⣿ ⣧⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠯⠊⠙⢻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣦⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⢀⣴⢾⣼⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣇⢽⣿⣿⣿⡏⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣛⣻⠿⣟⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⢃ ⣿⣿⣿⡎⣷⣽⠻⣇⣿⣿⣿⡿⣟⣵⣿⣟⣽⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⢯⣾⣿⣿⣿⠟⠱⡟ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⢹⣿⣿⢮⣚⡛⠒⠛⢛⣋⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣱⠿⣿⣿⠟⣡⣺⢿
October 2018

Weebs

bears are always fucked

Last week I went to go outside for a smoke and this other guy was there smoking as well. We got to talking and the talk of options trading came up. I accidentally slipped that I had bought a SPY put to hedge my portfolio. He immediately gets excited takes off his pants and bends over. Didn't realize he was a 🌈🐻 this whole time. Ofcourse I obliged cause bers r always fukkd
April 2021

WallStreetBets

Anime girl 2

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October 2016

Weebs

It's Raining Positivity!

twitchquotes: ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ (◕‿◕✿)ノ☂ It's Raining Positivity ヽ(◕‿◕✿)ノ☂ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing