I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
(βΜΏΔΉΜ―ββ¬β΄β¬β΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas
Hello Kripp, this is your mother
twitchquotes:
Hello kripp. This is your mother, I saw that "brofist" you just gave to one of your subscribers. Don't make me come to Athens and make you give him a better brofist. Haven't I taught you better fisting? Love always, mum
twitch chat
Kripp
Kripp saved my life; Rania saved my sanity
twitchquotes:
I discovered Kripp after a terrible car accident. I was n a coma for weeks. One day, the nurse decided to play Twitch in the room, specifically to Kripp's channel. I immediately awoke. I went to mute the channel, but it was then that Rania brought Kripp his food, saving me the effort. Kripp saved my life. Rania saved my sanity.
twitch chat
Kripp
If your girlfriend cheats on you
twitchquotes:
If your girlfriend cheats on you, you need to understand that you lacked something that made her cheat, so instead of leaving her for another girl, find out the error in yourself, apologise to her and be a Better man. β
twitch chat
If my girl and PPMD both drowning
if my girl π
and PPMD 
both drowning π±
and I can only save one π€
π¬
Catch me at my girlβs funeral π
chanting STACK π
IT π
UP π
π
π―
π
π
both drowning π±
and I can only save one π€
π¬
Catch me at my girlβs funeral π
chanting STACK π
IT π
UP π
π
π―
π
π
Super Smash Bros
What in Davy Jonesβ locker did ye just bark at me?
twitchquotes:
What in Davy Jonesβ locker did ye just bark at me, ye scurvy bilgerat? Iβll have ye know I be the meanest cutthroat on the seven seas, and Iβve led numerous raids on fishing villages.
twitch chat
Kripp