I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
What happened to this ad? :(
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what do you say when you come? murk durgle
About 5 years ago I was making a character on an RPG and my ex girlfriend was sitting next to me talking to me and asking me questions about my game. I had a dwarf and dreamed up the name Murk Durgle. My ex hated that name and said it felt gross, like the word moist.
I shrugged it off. We went about our day and after putting the kids to bed we started having sex. She tells me she's about to come and I bellow out "MUUUURRRKKKK DUUUURGLE" and she punches me in the chest and yelled at me "what the fuck dude?! You fucking murk durgled me?! Give me my vibrator and get the fuck out"
Then I sat out in the kitchen laughing for a few minutes
Even that was not nearly as salty as you are right now...
twitchquotes:
I once drank an entire bottle of soy sauce on a dare, which I thought was all well and good... until I developed extreme dehydration and Hypernatremia. They had to put an IV directly into my veins to rehydrate me. It was the closet I've ever been to dying. What I'm getting at is, even that was not nearly as salty as you are right now 
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Reynad
salty
No girlfriend. No friends. No talents.
twitchquotes:
No girlfriend No friends No talents Saturday night alone Wasting time on Twitch Watching a dead game Reading the chat more than the stream Spamming pastas brainlessly Must be me
No girlfriend No friends No talents Saturday night alone Wasting time on Twitch Watching a dead game Reading the chat more than the stream Spamming pastas brainlessly Must be me
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Blizzard responds to blitzchung ban
twitchquotes:
The π° specific π° views π° expressed π° by π° blitzchung π° were π° NOT π° a π° factor π° in π° the π° decisionπ° weπ° made.π° I π° want π° to π° be π° clear: π° our π° relationships π° in China π° had π° noπ° influence π° on π° our π° decision.π°
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Hearthstone
A ghosty is a poorly trained stream sniper
twitchquotes:
G H O S T Y : A ghosty is a poorly trained stream sniper that uses picture frames to maintain close visual contact with the enemy and engage targets from concealed positions or distances exceeding the detection capabilities of their opponent
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Reynad