I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
TL waiting for TSM at the airport
twitchquotes:
📞 
HELLO TSM? 📞 TL HERE 📞 WE ARE WAITING AT THE MCDONALDS BY GATE 06 📞
HELLO TSM? 📞 TL HERE 📞 WE ARE WAITING AT THE MCDONALDS BY GATE 06 📞
twitch chat
Riot Games
League of Legends
EU vs NA
Trolling My Office With Among Us (Part 5, Finale 2)
That's right. I am the IMPOSTER. I just killed my boss. I now had to convince everyone that I wasn't the imposter. "Chad is the imposter!" I randomly yelled out. Another coworker said "Well, I did see him running towards the stairs/elevator. "Wait, think about this!" Chad stated. "How do you know I'm the murderer? It could be him!" "Hmm.." My coworker, John, said. "Why do you think it's him, Darrius?" "Well," I started, "The same reason as you. I saw him running towards the elevator when the killing happened. "Wait, wait, wait!" Angelica proclaimed. "How do we know it happened on the top floor?" Another coworker, Adam, pointed out the window towards the paramedics wrapping up my boss' mangled corpse in a body bag." Oh!" Angelica said." That's a bit sussy," I said. "I think it must have been Angelica, she's pretending she doesn't know anything?" "Hmm, you might be right." My coworker Dave spoke up. "But I think that it might be you, Darrius." "Wait woah woah, why is it me?" I defended myself. He said "I saw you enter the elevator right before the murderer hit!" He said. Shit. he's onto me." Woah, you could be lying! I was in my cubicle doing my office work!" I yelled back." Oh really, what were you doing?" Dave said." I was uh.. scanning for viruses on my computer!" "Hmm.. okay." "I think that we should get rid of Liam." Angelica proclaimed. "Woah woah woah, pretty lady! Why do you think that?" He quickly hopped to his defense. "I haven't been a part of this discussion at all!" "Well, you're pale, and you work on the closest floor to the boss." Angelica replies. "Yeah, that's sus, Liam." I said. "We should get rid of him." "I agree." Chad said." Me too!" Adam said." Me three!" John said. And so we decided to throw him out the window.
2 crewmates with long legs
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠴⠒⠛⠉⠙⠳⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣴⣾⣿⣷⣦⣄⠀⠀⠀⡤⠟⠚⠛⠛⠓⡆⠀⢷⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠛⠛⠳⣄⠸⣇⡀⠀⣀⣀⣰⡇⠀⢸⠓⢲⡀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣤⣤⣤⣼⠆⡟⠻⠿⠿⠿⠟⠁⠀⢸⡇⢰⡇⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⢸⠇⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣧⣸⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⢻⠀⢀⣀⣀⣴⠀⠀⠀⢹⠅⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⡏⠀⠀⢸⡇⣿⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⣠⣼⣿⣦⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⡇⠀⠀⢸⡇⣿⠀⠀⠀⣼⠀⠀⠀
⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⣿⠀⠀⢸⡇⢸⠀⠀⠀⡿⠀⠀⠀
⠈⠉⠁⠉⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⢿⠀⠀⣸⠁⢸⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠀⠀⢸⡄⠀⣯⠀⣸⠀⠀⢰⡇⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢯⠀⠘⡇⢹⡆⠀⠸⡇⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⢠⡇⢸⡇⠀⢰⠇⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⣼⠀⠀⡇⠀⣼⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢶⣯⣭⠤⠿⣠⣖⣃⣀⣹⡄⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠿⠹⠿⢿⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀
Among Us / Amogus
hackermans
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣶⣾⣿⣶⣦⣤⣀⠄⢀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠿⢿⣷⡹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣯⣵⣾⣿⣿⡶⠦⠭⢁⠩⢭⣭⣵⣶⣶⡬⣄⣀⡀⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⡀⠘⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠩⠶⠚⠻⠟⠳⢶⣮⢫⣥⠶⠒⠒⠒⠒⠆⠐⠒
⠄⢠⣾⢇⣿⣿⣶⣦⢠⠰⡕⢤⠆⠄⠰⢠⢠⠄⠰⢠⠠⠄⡀⠄⢊⢯⠄⡅⠂⠄
⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⠘⢼⠬⠆⠄⢘⠨⢐⠄⢘⠈⣼⡄⠄⠄⡢⡲⠄⠂⠠⠄
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣥⣀⡁⠄⠘⠘⠘⢀⣠⣾⣿⢿⣦⣁⠙⠃⠄⠃⠐⣀
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣋⣵⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣀⣶⣾⣿⣿⡉⠉⠉
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣫⣥⣬⣭⣛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠸⣿⣏⣙⠿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣍⣙⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣛⣩⣶⠄
⣛⣛⣛⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣮⣙⠿⢿⣶⣶⣭⣭⣛⣛⣛⣛⠛⠛⠻⣛⣛⣛⣛⣋⠁⢀
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣬⢙⡻⠿⠿⣷⣤⣝⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⠛⠛⣛⣛⠛⣡⣴⣿
⣛⣛⠛⠛⠛⣛⡑⡿⢻⢻⠲⢆⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠟⡴⢻⢋⠻⣟⠈⠿⠿
⣿⡿⡿⣿⢷⢤⠄⡔⡘⣃⢃⢰⡦⡤⡤⢤⢤⢤⠒⠞⠳⢸⠃⡆⢸⠄⠟⠸⠛⢿
⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸
Pepe
HassanChop
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄░░░░░
░░▄████████████▄▄░░
░▄████████████████░
░█████████████████░
░████▓▓▒▒▒░░░░░░▒█░
░███▓▒▒░░░░░░░░░░█░
▒▀█▓▄▄▀▀▀▓▒░▓▀▀▓░▒░
▒▒▓▒▒▒▀▀▀▀▓▀▀▀▀▀░▒░
░▒▓▒▒░░░░▒▓░░▒░░░▒░
░▒▓▓▒▒░░▒▒▀▒▒░░▒▒░░
░░░▓▓▒▒▀█▄▒▒▄▀▒░▒░░
░░░▒▀▓▓▒▒▀▀▀░░░▒▒░░
░░░░░░▀█▓▒▒░▒░▄▓░░