[Copypasta] I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times.

I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
August 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Team Solo Mid

β–’β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–’β–β–ˆβ–€β–€β–‘β–’β–„β–ˆβ–€β–„β–‘β–’β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–’β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œ β–‘β–‘β–’β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–’β–β–ˆβ–€β–€β–’β–β–ˆβ–„β–„β–β–ˆβ–‘β–’β–ˆβ–‘β–’β–ˆβ–‘β–’β–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–’β–„β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–’β–β–ˆβ–„β–„β–’β–β–ˆβ–‘β–’β–β–ˆβ–’β–β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–ˆβ–Œ β–’β–„β–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–’β–β–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–Œβ–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–β–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘ β–’β–€β–€β–ˆβ–„β–„β–’β–β–ˆβ–„β–’β–ˆβ–Œβ–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–β–ˆβ–„β–’β–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘ β–’β–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–€β–’β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–Œβ–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–’β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘ β–’β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–’β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–’β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–β–ˆβ–‘β–’β–ˆβ–‘β–’β–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–’β–ˆβ–Œβ–’β–β–ˆβ–Œβ–β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–’β–β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–ˆβ–Œβ–’β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘
January 2015

League of Legends

You abhorrent scum. You ignorant fool. I will sue you

You abhorrent scum. You ignorant fool. I will sue you. You are going to be the target of the greatest lawsuit the world has ever seen. You don't know why? It's completely obvious. It's so obvious, the most deplorable peasant could grasp the full magnitude of your wickedness and treachery with the greatest of ease. Your actions cry out for mercy, and I will be happy to deliver it. And if you're thinking this is a mistake, or merely a deception of mine, you're sadly mistaken, my friend. I have indisputable proof of your continued harassment and other offenses. Even without it, the jury would take one look at you and decide. The incomprehensible magnitude of your crimes brings with it unavoidable, infinite guilt, and whether you notice it or not, everyone else does. Are you interested in who will be serving as the offense attorney? I'll tell you. It's my father. Your defense? It doesn't matter, in fact, they might just not give you one even to spare just one individual from the trauma. My father is the greatest lawyer in the US, the world, and human history, including the future, which he knows due to the fact that he sued the future and they travelled back in time to tell him. He's served for hundreds of Supreme Court cases, and he's won every single one. You may have never thought about being court-marshaled, but now, that's a real threat. That is the power of my father, a culmination of flawless, supreme logic and a perfect knowledge of the law. You will lose this case, your money, and your life. Does that scare you, insignificant bug? Because it should. The entire history of the U.S. Judicial System has been leading up to this moment, where all of its fury is concentrated on ruining your life. My father won't even need to help. Your heinous crimes will be evident to all, so just give up, you crook. Give up before you're forced to.
September 2021

Kripp invites twitch chat to his wedding

twitchquotes: β˜… β˜… Β° ☾ β˜† ΒΈΒΈ . …somewhere Β° ☾ Β° ΒΈ. ● ΒΈ . β˜… Β° :. . β€’ Β° . * :. . ΒΈ .☾ . ● ΒΈ . β˜… Β° . β€’ β—‹ Β° β˜… . * . ☾ Β° ΒΈ. …in a parallel universe* ● ΒΈ Β° ☾ Β°β˜† . * ΒΈ. β˜… β˜… Β° . . . ☾ Β°β˜† . * ● ΒΈ . β˜…Β°β˜… . * . . ΒΈ. * ● ΒΈ . …KRIPP Β° ☾ β˜… °● ΒΈ . β˜… Β° :. . β€’ β—‹ Β° β˜…. ● . Β° ☾ °° . * :. . ΒΈ . ● ΒΈ * . …invites twitch chat to his wedding
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

QTPie's journal

twitchquotes: QTPies Journal; These streamers are afraid of me. I've seen their true face. Diamond 2 is an extended gutter and the gutter is full of trash. And when the drains finally scab over, all the vermin, like Dom and Jared will drown. The accumulated filth of all their missed flashes and low mechanic champions will foam up around their waists and all the annie mains and boosted monkeys will look up and shout "Save us!"... and I'll whisper "No."
twitch chat
April 2016
imaqtpie

Boosted Animal Jared

League of Legends

You are such a large pepperoni, why aren't you a pizza

twitchquotes: "Kripp my son," say the Papparin, "you are such a large pepperoni, why aren't you a pizza." But the Kripp don't respond. He elopes to Greece and runs his hand through his unshaven face scruff and say "Well met!" to the twisted Succubus. Alone in his heart, Papparin commits sudoku at a Starbucks in San Bernardino with Al Pacino, no cappucino.
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing