[Copypasta] I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times.

I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
August 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

I am a concerned mother with a 13 year old child (among us)

I am a concerned mother with a 13 year old child and I am here to seek help regarding my son. Last week when we went to the supermarket, my son pointed to a red trash can and started jumping around screaming β€œTHAT’S AMONG US! THAT TRASH CAN IS SUS! RED IS THE IMPOSTOR!” As soon as he did that, the manager told us to leave. I told him that my son is just excited about something, and apologised. But the manager still told us to leave so I picked up the red trash can that my son was going crazy over and threw it on the managers head. Then my son shouted β€œDEAD BODY REPORTED.” Can someone please tell me what on earth is wrong with him?
February 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Sniperino

twitchquotes: ΰΌΌΰΊˆΩ„ΝœΰΊˆΰΌ½_‒︻̷̿┻̿═━一 Sniperino
twitch chat
March 2014
Reynad

Hafu is jealous of Rania

twitchquotes: οΌ«ο½’ο½‰ο½ο½οΌοΌοΌγ€€οΌ©γ€€ο½ο½γ€€ο½–ο½…ο½’ο½™γ€€ο½“ο½ο½„γ€€ο½ο½Žο½„γ€€ο½Šο½…ο½ο½Œο½ο½•ο½“γ€€ο½”ο½ˆο½ο½”γ€€ο½™ο½ο½•γ€€ο½ο½’ο½…γ€€ο½Œο½…ο½”ο½”ο½‰ο½Žο½‡γ€€ο½”ο½ˆο½‰ο½“γ€€β€˜β€˜ο½•ο½Žο½„ο½…ο½’ο½†ο½Œο½ο½—ο½’β€™β€™γ€€ο½ˆο½ο½–ο½…γ€€ο½ο½Œο½Œγ€€ο½™ο½ο½•ο½’γ€€ο½“ο½ο½Œο½”γ€€ο½…ο½–ο½…ο½’ο½™γ€€ο½Žο½‰ο½‡ο½ˆο½”οΌŒγ€€ο½ο½Œο½…ο½ο½“ο½…γ€€ο½”ο½ο½Œο½‹γ€€ο½”ο½γ€€ο½ο½…γ€€ο½ο½‡ο½ο½‰ο½Žγ€€ο½—ο½‰ο½”ο½ˆγ€€ο½Œο½ο½–ο½…γ€€ο½™ο½ο½•ο½’γ€€ο½ο½ο½„ο½…γ€€ο½‰ο½Žγ€€ο½ƒο½ˆο½‰ο½Žο½γ€€ο½—ο½‰ο½†ο½…γ€€οΌ¨ο½ο½†ο½•γ€€β™‘β™‘β™‘γ€€οΌ°ο½Œο½š no copy ο½ο½ο½“ο½”ο½…ο½’ο½‰ο½Žο½ ο½ƒο½ˆο½‰ο½Žο½‡ ο½ƒο½ˆο½ο½Žο½‡γ€€ο½ο½‰ο½Žο½‡γ€€ο½ο½ο½Žο½‡γ€€ο½Žο½‰ο½ο½Žο½ο½Žο½‡ ο½ƒο½ˆο½ο½Žο½‡ο½…ο½’ο½‰ο½Žο½ ο½Žο½ο½ο½„ο½Œο½…ο½’ο½‰ο½Žο½ bok ο½ƒο½ˆο½ο½™ ο½‹ο½•ο½Žο½‡ ο½ο½ο½ο½’ο½‰ο½Žο½
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

This guy's pasta is CRAZY!

twitchquotes: β˜‘ This guy's pasta is CRAZY!” β˜‘ β€œMy rigatoni can't win against a linguini like that” β˜‘ "He NEEDED that alfredo to win" β˜‘ β€œHe meatballed the only marinara that could beat me” β˜‘ "He had the perfect fettucini β˜‘ β€œThere was nothing I could cook” β˜‘ β€œI cooked that al dente”
twitch chat
August 2014

New banger (from r/conservativerap)

Aye πŸ˜‚ Yuh πŸ‘ŒπŸΎπŸ‘€ Uh πŸ˜”πŸ˜€ Skrrrt πŸ’¨πŸ€” I πŸ‘ hate 😑 people πŸ‘« who have a different 😑 skin πŸ’…πŸ»πŸ‘‘ color 🎨 from me (x32) instrumental 🎺 break πŸ’” I πŸ‘πŸ‘€ hate 😑🌚 people πŸ‘« who have a different πŸ‘€β“β‰ skin πŸ’…πŸ»πŸ‘‘ color πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆ from me (x32)
June 2021

Emoji Pasta

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