[Copypasta] I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times.

I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
August 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

#1 'Cutest Teenage Streamer' from Casual Gaming Monthly

twitchquotes: Congratulations Kripp! You have been voted #1 'Cutest Teenage Streamer' by the readers of Casual Gaming Monthly! Your ability to still look adorable while losing game after game in Hearthstone is truly something special!
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Sesame Street Celebrity Recruitment Department

twitchquotes: Hello Kripparian. Its Becky from the Sesame Street Celebrity Recruitment Department. Although "E-Sports" has indeed become mainstream, we unfortunately have declined your application to be on an episode of Sesame Street. We have already filmed the episode where "K" is the letter of the day. Thank you for your interest.
twitch chat
October 2015
Kripp

Ripperoni Pepperoni dude

twitchquotes: โœ“I'm just gonna shove this shit out โœ“ *I'm pretty strong right now* โœ“ *FUCK man* โœ“ *NO SMALL CAT THOSE ARE MY RIBS* โœ“ *I love it dude* โœ“ *Epic nice dude* โœ“ *Just gonna go shop* โœ“ Did that really fucking hit me? โœ“ Ripperoni Pepperoni dude โœ“.
twitch chat
March 2015
imaqtpie

Anime girl

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–โ–Œโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–โ–€โ–โ–€โ–โ–ˆโ–Œโ–€โ–Œโ–โ–€โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–โ–“โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–Œ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–Œ
November 2014

Weebs

OOOOAAAAHH

twitchquotes: แ•™( ^โ‚’^ c) ใ€‡ใ€‡ใ€‡ใ€‡แ—ฉแ—ฉแ—ฉแ—ฉแ•ผแ•ผ แ•™( ^โ‚’^ c)
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp
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