[Copypasta] I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times.

I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
August 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Trolling My Dad's Office with Among Us (Office Series Part 5, Finale 2)

That's right. I am the IMPOSTER. I just killed my boss. I now had to convince everyone that I wasn't the imposter. "Chad is the imposter!" I randomly yelled out. Another coworker said "Well, I did see him running towards the stairs/elevator. "Wait, think about this!" Chad stated. "How do you know I'm the murderer? It could be him!" "Hmm.." My coworker, John, said. "Why do you think it's him, Darrius?" "Well," I started, "The same reason as you. I saw him running towards the elevator when the killing happened. "Wait, wait, wait!" Angelica proclaimed. "How do we know it happened on the top floor?" Another coworker, Adam, pointed out the window towards the paramedics wrapping up my boss' mangled corpse in a body bag." Oh!" Angelica said." That's a bit sussy," I said. "I think it must have been Angelica, she's pretending she doesn't know anything?" "Hmm, you might be right." My coworker Dave spoke up. "But I think that it might be you, Darrius." "Wait woah woah, why is it me?" I defended myself. He said "I saw you enter the elevator right before the murderer hit!" He said. Shit. he's onto me." Woah, you could be lying! I was in my cubicle doing my office work!" I yelled back." Oh really, what were you doing?" Dave said." I was uh.. scanning for viruses on my computer!" "Hmm.. okay." "I think that we should get rid of Liam." Angelica proclaimed. "Woah woah woah, pretty lady! Why do you think that?" He quickly hopped to his defense. "I haven't been a part of this discussion at all!" "Well, you're pale, and you work on the closest floor to the boss." Angelica replies. "Yeah, that's sus, Liam." I said. "We should get rid of him." "I agree." Chad said." Me too!" Adam said." Me three!" John said. And so we decided to throw him out the window.
April 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Trolling with Among Us

PepegaLicense

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣴⣾⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣦⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣰⣿⠋⠁⠄⠄⠉⠉⢉⡉⠉⢉⣹⣿⣿⣿⠛⢿⣿⣿⡟⠛⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⢠⣿⠃⠄⢀⣀⢴⡦⣟⣿⠽⣶⣶⣯⣿⠛⠁⣤⣾⡟⠉⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⡀⠄⠄ ⠄⢸⣿⡤⠋⢹⣦⢣⡭⢭⣬⣟⣺⣿⣿⣃⠄⣸⣿⠟⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄ ⠄⣾⡟⣦⢴⣿⠿⣿⠰⠈⢿⡏⢿⣿⣿⣿⠇⣿⠿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄ ⠄⣿⠱⣶⣴⣒⣽⣮⣉⣲⡭⠚⢼⣫⣿⡟⢸⣿⡺⣿⣶⣄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄ ⢠⡏⠈⠒⣩⠽⢛⣻⣿⣿⣿⣛⡛⠯⢽⣚⣾⣧⠇⣿⣿⣿⠆⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄ ⢸⠁⠄⠄⠄⠰⠄⢀⣀⣲⣾⣿⣟⣉⣡⣴⢻⣿⣾⣽⠿⠋⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⡇ ⢸⣤⣤⣤⣀⣀⠄⠄⠉⠐⠒⠒⠺⠶⠶⠾⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃ ⢘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠁⠄⠈⡆ ⠈⠛⠿⡿⠿⡿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⠿⠿⢇⡀⠄⣀⠇ ⠄⠄⢸⠁⠄⢣⠄⠄⠄⢀⡏⠉⠉⡏⠉⠉⠉⡇⠄⠄⠄⢀⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠈⠒⠒⠊⠄⠄⠄⠘⠣⠤⠤⠋⠄⠄⠄⠈⠒⠒⠒⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
ascii art
November 2021

Pepe

Please stop posting these unnecessarily long posts

twitchquotes: Can you all just stop posting these unnecessarily long posts please? The only reason you post them is to try and bait someone into copy and pasting them. What if we all just gave interesting views and opinions about the stream instead of posting useless stuff? Please I beg you twitch chat, to stop with this nonsense.
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

I encountered a racist homophobic dreamphobe today.

I joined a discord server yesterday. My discord status was: "💚 please give me your cum daddy dream! i want to fuck that smiley face of yours 😪😪😪". I am a dreamgender, and I support Dream and will continue to support him until I am out of cum. Anyways, back to the story. Now, this fucking stupid mod DMs (Dream Messages) me. What does he says? He says the following. "Your discord status is against our server rules, please remove or change your status. If you do not do this, we will have to ban/kick you." Then, I immediately told the moderator that I am a 13 dreamgender girl. He didn't give a shit. I thought ALL moderators could get seduced. That was a fucking lie. Ugh! Anyways, we started arguing about how my status is extremely SFW and wholesome (i am obviously right.) I told him that i anted to speak with the manager. So, he created a group chat with me, the owner, and himself. I explained him the situation, how the moderator was a racist pedophile dreamphobe homophobe and a groomer. The owner did NOT believe me; a fellow Dreamgender person. I was so mad that I punched my dream themed computer so hard. Then, I realized what i had done. I punched my daddy dream monitor. I immediately DMd dream about this on twitter. I wrote a 20000 word apology to him. I was so depressed after my daddy dream monitor was gone. Then, I logged to Discord on my dream themed phone. I could not believe what had happened. I got a DM from MEE6 saying that I got banned for the reason "inappropriate status". I was so mad. I immediately DM'd the owner about this. He didn't care, and he had the audacity to block a fellow DREAMGENDER person. I could not believe it. How could someone be this racist and dreamphobic? I cried myself to sleep that night and decided that I should go to therapy. Please tell me, r/dreamgender! What should I do about this? I already called the entire swat team on this discord moderator after he said that "Dream sucks", but it seemed like the swat did not care at all! Please, dream community. Let's get together and end this moderator's life! R/DREAMGENDER, ASSEMBLE! 💚🤍🖤💚🖤🤍🖤🤍🖤🤍
June 2021

Dreamgender

Discord

Don't install Talking Roby

When I was 8 years old, I was searching for apps that were like Talking Tom. I found one that was called “Talking Roby The Robot”, I was curious so I downloaded it and installed it. I played it and I enjoyed every single second of it. I was a big fan of Roby. But when, it was 3 AM, my mom was sleeping so I now could use the phone without mom knowing, Tried the text to speech feature and typed the words “sing like dick”. The robot said “sing like dick”. I almost laughed too hard after seeing that. I recorded it and uploaded it to YouTube. after uploading it, I heard The Exorcist theme playing in the living room radio. I was shocked, I couldn’t move, and then Roby himself came out of my closet and said “sing like dick”. I was crying in fear, “is this a nightmare?” I asked. Roby said “no”. I was scared, this was real all along? And then Roby bled at me with hyper-realistic eyes and said: “666”. I was crying, and then he disappeared. My life has changed after that moment. Don’t install Talking Roby.
February 2021
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