I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
I used to be a real ad
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Cursed Cat
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How to kill a geologist
Disclaimer: my hatred of geologists is purely theatrical, but if I did have to kill one for some reason, it would be very easy.
I’d brandish my obsidian knife at them and they’d be compelled to approach. “That’s very cool,” they’d say, confident in their superior strength and endurance from all the rocks they carry around at all times. They’d shower me with very interesting facts about obsidian and hover just out of range of the cutting edge, waiting for me to exhaust myself. “But as it is volcanic glass, it’s very fragile, you see, and isn’t well-suited for use as a weap—” and then I’d hit them with the wooden baseball bat in my other hand, which they would not have noticed because geologists can only see rocks and minerals.
Ok, so I basically fucked my bedroom door.
You guessed it right, I'm SUMMIT1G
twitchquotes:
MY GRAGAS IS BAD MY CHO'GATH IS FREE YOU GUESSED IT RIGHT IM SUMMIT1G
MY GRAGAS IS BAD MY CHO'GATH IS FREE YOU GUESSED IT RIGHT IM SUMMIT1G
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Summt1g
League of Legends
Yuumi isn’t so great?
twitchquotes:
Yuumi isn’t so great? Are you kidding me? When was the last time you saw a champion with such skill expression and movement options in League? Yuumi puts the game in another level, and we will be blessed if we ever see a chamption with her skill and options in the game again. Riven breaks the game. Vladimir breaks the game. Yuumi breaks the rules. You can keep your statistics. I prefer the magic.
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