[Copypasta] I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times.

I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
August 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

MagicAmy copypasta

twitchquotes: Hey Reddit, I'm drafting a Rogue Arena deck and I'm 29 cards in. Should I pick Conceal (like how MagicAmy concealed her identity), Sap (like all of us were), or Vanish (like what MagicAmy is about to do)?
twitch chat
February 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

Ingesting too much salt can cause casualness

twitchquotes: Studies show that ingesting too much salt can kill healthy bacteria in your digestive track, this can cause side-effects ranging from a weak immune system, acid reflex, and being a casual...
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Al salem Kripperion!

twitchquotes: Al salem Kripperion! This be brother Al-Saq-Quadir Prince of Oilrabia, in my country we don't have currency, we only trade in brofist. You have a magnificent one krippFist, I be prepared to offer 50 million USD for your amputated right hand forever preserved while brofisting, thank you for understanding Kripp, and see you in my dungeon.
twitch chat
June 2015
Kripp

SPAM THIS CRUSTACEAN FOR HBOX ELIMINATION

twitchquotes: SPAM ๐Ÿฆ€ THIS ๐Ÿฆ€ CRUSTACEAN ๐Ÿฆ€ FOR ๐Ÿฆ€ HBOX ๐Ÿฆ€ ELIMINATION ๐Ÿฆ€
twitch chat
June 2019

Rhyme Chant

Super Smash Bros

Helicopter just dropped down to say

damn this shit crazy dawg but โ–ฌโ–ฌโ–ฌโ–ฌโ–ฌ.โ—™.โ–ฌโ–ฌโ–ฌโ–ฌโ–ฌ โ–‚โ–„โ–„โ–“โ–„โ–„โ–‚ โ—ขโ—คโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„ โ—ขโ—ค โ–ˆโ–„ โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–„ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€ โ•ฌ โ—ฅ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ—ค โ•โ•โ•ฉโ•โ•โ•ฉโ• โ•ฌโ•โ•ฌ โ•ฌโ•โ•ฌ just dropped down to say โ•ฌโ•โ•ฌ โ•ฌโ•โ•ฌ You hella gay, no cap โ•ฌโ•โ•ฌ โ˜ป/ โ•ฌโ•โ•ฌ /โ–Œ โ•ฌโ•โ•ฌ / \
December 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing