[Copypasta] I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times.

I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
August 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Twitch Chat is the most elusive substance known to man

twitchquotes: 420/69 scientists agree that Twitch Chat is the most elusive substance known to man. The All-Knowing Twitch Chat flows through the very fabric of space and time. Twitch Chat is very unpredictable. What will Twitch Chat copy/pasta next? Nobody knows. Maybe the elusive Twitch Chat will copy/pasta this very message. Just remember, Twitch Chat knows all, and Twitch Chat is always right.
twitch chat
May 2017

Mirana

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣤⠠⠤⣤⡤⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣴⡲⠶⣺⡋⠋⠁⠄⠄⠙⠢⡀⠘⠱⠱⡄⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠔⠋⠄⠄⣴⣿⡣⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠂⠄⠁⠹⡏⢢⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⡔⠁⠄⠄⠄⣼⠿⢿⣻⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠃⠄⠢⡀⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢀⠌⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠻⠖⢟⠕⣪⣤⣴⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢳⣿⣶ ⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣷⠻⡃⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⢹⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⠛⠻⣿⣿⡽⠋⠉⢉⣍⣽⣿⣿⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⠶⢼⣿ ⣮⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⠈⣿⣿⣷⡠⠄⣶⣦⣽⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡾⠡⢿⢨⣿ ⣿⣧⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠄⠄⠄⡀⠄⠄⡞⠄⣿ ⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⠄⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⠄⠐⡶⠄⠁⠄⠸ ⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⠙⢿⣇⠙⣋⣭⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⢹⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⡀⠉⠄⠧⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⢸⣿⣄⠄⠐⠒⠛⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠁⠄⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⠄⠄⠈⢿⣿⣇⠄⠐⢻⣿⣿⡿⠟⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⠈⣿⠋⠄⠄⠈⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣀⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
February 2021

Dota 2

Applejack

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November 2014

I sexually Identify as a Genji

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as a Genji. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of dashing through the battlefield swift striking the disgusting enemy team. People say being Genji is Impossible but I don’t care, I can solo carry. I’m having a plastic surgeon install cyborg parts,a shuriken dispenser and a dragonblade on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Genji Shimada Senpai" and respect my right to ignore objectives and play team deathmatch. Ryūjin no ken wo kurae!
twitch chat
January 2017

Overwatch

I sexually Identify as

Hey dad, you never answered any of my calls all day

twitchquotes: Hey dad, you never answered any of my calls all day. Still waiting for you to pick up me and Cattarian from the "Foster Care" fun park that you left us at a few months ago. Tell Motherania that we miss her too. If you dont pick us up soon we'll be forced to work in the salt mines. Love, Kripp Jr
twitch chat
June 2015
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing