[Copypasta] I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times.

I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
August 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Tyler from the seven seas

twitchquotes: So you're going by "MOONMOON" now huh matey? Haha whats up scalleywag, it's Tyler from the seven seas. Remember me? Me and the fellas used to give you a hard time on the water. Sorry you were just an easy target lol. I can see not much has changed. Remember Sarah the old scag you had a crush on? Yeah we're married now. I pillage over 200 isles a year and drive a cream interior sloop. I guess some things never change huh loser? Nice catching up lol. Pathetic.
twitch chat
December 2018
MOONMOON

Tanner from High School

LS, aka Low Standards is an LCK commentator

twitchquotes: LS, aka "Low Standards", is a commentator for the LCK that is often ridiculed for his annoying personality and questionable game knowledge. He is specifically known for his Annie and Tahm “Thomas” Kench two-trick-pony in low platinum solo-queue..
twitch chat
April 2019
LCK

League of Legends

Jack Ma goes missing

Jack Ma is making poop emoji pillows in a factory now 11 hours a day and you guys are making jokes about him 😔
January 2021

WallStreetBets

Fortnite that's how Mafia works

twitchquotes: Fortnite. Fortnite. Fortnite. It was all my two kids talked about. They were utterly devoted to it. I had to make a change. I took the controllers and told them they couldn't play until they downloaded Mafia City. They whined and whined, but soon became engrossed in this amazing and educational game. Fortnite soon forgotten, their grades improved rapidly, much like their levels in game. The teachers were amazed, "how do they do it?" they asked me, I simply replied "that's how Mafia works."
twitch chat
January 2019

Creeper

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September 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing