I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
What happened to this ad? :(
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I think about Kripp when I touch my wiener
twitchquotes:
γ½( Ν‘Β° ΝΚ Ν‘Β°)οΎ Roses are red, Weed is greener, I think about Kripp, when I touch my wiener. γ½( Ν‘Β° ΝΚ Ν‘Β°)οΎ
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Kripp
Is there an anime character stronger than Twilight Sparkle?
twitchquotes:
Is there an anime character stronger than Twilight Sparkle? And I'm referring to supercharged Alicorn Princess Twilight Sparkle with Princess Celestia's guidance, full understanding of the Power of Friendship, control of The Elements of Harmony and Spike, equipped with her royal tiara, the Castle of Friendship, and the Rainbow Friendship Kingdom, as well as her Rainbow Sheen and Rainbow Power, with the magic of all the Alicorns implanted in her chest to give her full control of magic?
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Only the chosen one can hold his donger
twitchquotes:
8=====> Only the chosen one can hold his donger β 
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Classic
President's Day Emoji Pasta
ITS PRESIDENTS DAY SLUTS!! π¨π¨πΊπΈπΊπΈπΊπΈπΊπΈtime to hop onto that founding father dickππππ΄π»π΄π»π΄π»π΄π»or should i say founding DADDIES!!!π©π©π©πππ
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π¦π¦ out here tryna get rammed from behind ππππharder than the rock of MOUNT RUSHMOREβοΈβοΈβ°ππgeorge washington mightve been able to survive the harsh βοΈβοΈπ¬wintersπ¬βοΈβοΈ of valley forge, but can he handle the conditions between the sheetsπͺπβββbe the monica Lewinsky ππ»to my bill clintonπββοΈ baby and i wont deny i had ππβοΈsexual relationsβοΈππ with you!!! crack the whip down harder on your bae than ronald Reagan did on welfare programsπΈπΈπ€·πΌββοΈπ€·πΌββοΈπ€·πΌββοΈβπ»send this to FIVE of your baddest presidential PRINCESSESπΈπΌπΊπΈπΊπΈπΈπΌwho will throw the nastiest neckπππ©π©πππ¬π¦ on this AMERICAN BEAUT OF A DAYππππ¨β€οΈ if you get 10 back, be prepared for the president to enter the oval office of you PUSSY tonightπ±π±π¦π¦ππ©π©π©π©π©πΊπΈπΊπΈπΊπΈ