I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
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I accidentally ran over my wifeโs pet rabbit with my car
So my wife works from home and she is a graphic designer. She is working from home because the rabbit is very needy and cannot be apart from her without screaming itโs head off.
She barely leaves the house due to this and it is difficult because I have to do everything for her and them that requires leaving the house. Whenever we go anywhere together the rabbit has to go with her. However since that post was posted I had developed a plan with the help from some dms and comments
I had been acting sick all night and all morning and convinced my wife to go to the market for me to get me medicine. Some Tylenol and cough syrup. She was worried about the rabbit and suggested taking it with her but I somehow convinced her to go without it. We live in a rural area and the closest store is about 20 minutes away. So I hatched my plan as soon as she left.
I grabbed that little shit by the neck and while it kicked and screamed I put it into an Amazon box and rushed to the car with it. Initially the plan was to release him into the wild so I drove to the closest wild spot which happens to be a campsite and let the little parasite out.
He is partially blind so he just sat there for a bit and I pushed it closer to the grass off the gravel parking lot and it started sniffing around and shit. At this point I thought I was home free and I got into the car to leave but the little shit noticed me getting in and ran towards the car when I started it and moved the car over a bump and I heard a scream.
I didnโt know what to do do I started driving and stopped the car a little further away and it was lying there on the gravel parking lot as I started to panic. I didnโt want to kill it I just wanted it gone. Instead I drove over it like a speed bump.
I put him back into the box and Drove to the vet. My wife is calling my phone I donโt know what to do, Iโm writing this in the waiting room of the vet. I fucked up. The whole thing is a blur.
Edit: rabbit is alive, driving home, will update
I WANNA BE THE VERY BEST
twitchquotes:
SourPls I WANNA BE THE VERY BEST SourPls LIKE NO ONE EVER WAS SourPls TO CATCH THEM IS MY REAL TEST SourPls TO TRAIN THEM IS MY CAUSE SourPls I WANNA BE THE VERY BEST SourPls LIKE NO ONE EVER WAS SourPls TO CATCH THEM IS MY REAL TEST SourPls TO TRAIN THEM IS MY CAUSE SourPls
twitch chat
Pokemon Marathon 2018
Roses are red. Violets are blue.
twitchquotes:
๐ก๐ธ๐ผ๐ฎ๐ผ ๐ช๐ป๐ฎ ๐ป๐ฎ๐ญ. ๐ฅ๐ฒ๐ธ๐ต๐ฎ๐ฝ๐ผ ๐ช๐ป๐ฎ ๐ซ๐ต๐พ๐ฎ. ๐๐ธ๐ป๐ผ๐ฎ๐ท ๐ฒ๐ผ ๐ช ๐ฏ*๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ธ๐ฝ ๐๐ฑ๐ธ ๐ฌ๐ช๐ท ๐ผ๐พ๐ฌ๐ด ๐ถ๐ ๐ญ*๐ฌ๐ด
twitch chat
Forsen
A scholar hates twitch chat
The myriad of idiosyncratic atrocities bestowed on this chat from these juvenile delinquents have caused a monstruous amount of turmoil and I cannot fathom this type of malignancy. These futile behaviors have abruptly penetrated the purity of my dear soul.
Hello to you Kripparian. I am Rajkumar from India
twitchquotes:
Hello to you Kripparian. 
I am Rajkumar from India. I am seeking your correspondence for an important business matter. However, when I attempt to chat with you, your unruly chat participants are continuously mock my english and repost my message over and over. Please contact me at your fast convience. Thank you my friend. 
I am Rajkumar from India. I am seeking your correspondence for an important business matter. However, when I attempt to chat with you, your unruly chat participants are continuously mock my english and repost my message over and over. Please contact me at your fast convience. Thank you my friend.
twitch chat
Kripp