[Copypasta] I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times.

I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
August 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Baconator Jr. really has my boyhood trembling

twitchquotes: Christ Almighty, the Baconator Jr. really has my boyhood trembling. The crisp, Smokey bacon atop that seductive, square beef patty. What is there not to adore? And not to mention the smooth, melted cheese, and paired with fries and a frosty, you’ll be soaking through your chef’s apron in no time. Truly a masterpiece. A steamy, moist, delicious masterpiece.
twitch chat
April 2019
NairoMK

Imagine complaining about aim assist

twitchquotes: Imagine complaining about aim assist when u have a WHOLE mouse and a WHOLE table and a WHOLE hand to move around to track a player , meanwhile controller players use A THUMB and ARE LIMITED TO MOVING , We can’t move our little analog stick ALL AROUND THE TABLE , complaining BOTS.
twitch chat
February 2019

Fortnite

I love Art of Conquest!

twitchquotes: My $0.99 starter bundle put me well above the other players. But, when I reached the first enemy castle. I couldn't beat it. I checked the in game shop. "BONUS SILVER TROOPS $4.99 EXPIRES IN 3:14:28" I happily spent $4.99. Shortly after I came across an elite boss I couldnt beat. So I checked the in game shop. "BONUS GOLD TROOPS. 5000 RESOURCES. $19.99 EXPIRES IN 1:05:39" It's about to expire! I quickly entered my credit card and bought the bundle, it was such a steal. I love Art of Conquest!
twitch chat
January 2018
Kripp

sellout

Have you heard about Twitch Prime?

twitchquotes: Hey guys, have you heard about Twitch Prime? Did you know you can link your Amazon Prime account to your Twitch account, and subscriber to your favorite streamer FOREVER... for 30 days.. FOR FREE!
twitch chat
November 2020

m'lady tip fedora

⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⢯⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿ ⡇⣉⡙⠻⠁⠄⠉⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⣼⣿⣿ ⣿⠌⠻⢿⣷⣦⣤⣀⡀⠄⠉⠙⠛⠛⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣸⣿⣿⣿ ⠋⠄⢰⡆⠉⠛⠿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣤⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠉⠙⠛⠛⠛⠋⣭⡛⣿⣿ ⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣉⣙⡿⢿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣤⣀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣉⡙⢶⢹ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣭⣝⣛⠛⠿⠿⠿⠷⢶⣦⡤⢤⠘⣿⠄⡾ ⠄⠄⡔⢲⣤⣴⡆⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣬⠍⠄⠄⢰⣾⣷⡆⠄⠄⣄⣤⣾⣧⡞⣱ ⠄⠘⣾⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣀⣸⣿⣍⡿⠿⠿⠇ ⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢿⡿⣿⣯⢻⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢱⣿⡏⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣉⣉⣉⡉⠉⠁⢿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢿⣿⣿⡁⣛⣿⣁⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠻⣿⣿⣿⠻⣿⣿⣶⣬⡙⠛⠛⠿⠟⠻⠿⠇⢀⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠉⠉⠉⠁⠄⠈⠹⢿⣿⣿⣙⠿⢿⣿⣷⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⠻⣿⣷⣤⣀⡀⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄m'lady
November 2021

Simps

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