I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
(βΜΏΔΉΜ―ββ¬β΄β¬β΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas
Awooga Awooga
twitchquotes:
*jaw drops to floor, eyes pop out of sockets accompanied by trumpets, heart beats out of chest, awooga awooga sound effect, pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out, slams fists on table, rattling any plates, bowls or silverware, whistles loudly, fireworks shoot from top of head, pants loudly as tongue hangs out of mouth, wipes comically large bead of sweat from forehead, clears throat, straightens tie, combs hair* Ahem, you look very lovely.
twitch chat
SHOVE A HAMSTER
twitchquotes:
γ½ΰΌΌΰΊΩΝΰΊΰΌ½οΎ SHOVE A HAMSTER IN MY ASS γ½ΰΌΌΰΊΩΝΰΊΰΌ½οΎ
twitch chat
Reynad
So my boyfriend loves to play dota 2
twitchquotes:
So my boyfriend loves to play dota 2 and is very immersed in twitch culture and this has extended to his everyday conversation. It seems like he can't go one sentence without using one such twitch "meme", like "pogchamp", "omegalul", "monka s", "bible thump", or "monka giga". I am fine with him watching twitch and enjoying his video games but honestly it's quite embarassing when we are talking to someone in public and he just randomly busts out a twitch "meme". It's so cringey and all my friends think he's weird. And don't even get me started on the random japanese phrases (he's white...) I swear this sounds like a meme post but i promise this is my real life ;___;
twitch chat
ARTOSIS, ATTEND ME!
twitchquotes:
( ΰΈ Ν Β° ΝΚ Ν‘Β°)ΰΈ ARTOSIS, ATTEND ME! (ΰΈ Ν Β° ΝΚ Ν‘Β°)ΰΈ (ΰΈ ββ‘β)ΰΈ READY, SIR (ΰΈ ββ‘β)ΰΈ
twitch chat
Kripp
Type KEKW to send laughter and positive vibes
twitchquotes:
ββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ 
The streamer needs your help, chat! Type KEKW to help support him by sending laughter and positive vibes his way! ββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
The streamer needs your help, chat! Type KEKW to help support him by sending laughter and positive vibes his way! ββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
twitch chat