I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
Watch a middle aged man play a children's card game
twitchquotes:
THAT MOMENT WHEN YOU REALIZE THAT YOU PAY $5 A MONTH TO WATCH A MIDDLE AGED MAN PLAY A CHILDRENS CARTOON GAME
THAT MOMENT WHEN YOU REALIZE THAT YOU PAY $5 A MONTH TO WATCH A MIDDLE AGED MAN PLAY A CHILDRENS CARTOON GAME
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Kripp
Hearthstone
My friend Kappa needs your help
twitchquotes:
Hello, my name is 
and I want to ask you something. My friend 
needs your help. He wants to find some more friends. So please, spam as much as possible in the chat, so that my friend could find more of his friends. It makes a big difference, thank you!
and I want to ask you something. My friend needs your help. He wants to find some more friends. So please, spam as much as possible in the chat, so that my friend could find more of his friends. It makes a big difference, thank you!
twitch chat
Pokimane
Do you like what you see?
Why don't people like Brigitte?
twitchquotes:
Why don't people like Brigitte? I can't be the only one who loves being stunned the entire game. Shield bash is so amazing and really makes for some intense and fun gameplay. Thanks Blizzard
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OverwatchLeague
Overwatch
I sexually identify as Microsoft Windows 10
twitchquotes:
I sexually Identify as Microsoft Windows 10. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over PCs dropping hotfixes on braindead users. People say to me that a person being Windows 10 is Impossible and Iβm fucking retarded but I donβt care, Iβm beautiful. Iβm having a plastic surgeon install Cortana, Windows App Store and a keylogger on my system. From now on I want you guys to call me βWindows Update 10.0.10586β and respect my right to update from above and update needlessly. If you canβt accept me youβre a windowphobe and need to check your OS privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
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