I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Dex sits in a huge doghouse
twitchquotes:
A few feet offscreen, Dex sits in a huge doghouse. Full and content because of his "kibbles and bits" diet, he's too happy to move. He's so happy, and enjoys life. He knows his owner has hope of a 12 win run. He knows he could draw attention to himself, since he's the king of his house. In a single act of pride, Dex barks to give Kripp his praise. "Good boy Dex" is his response.
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Kripp
I'm Johnny Pasterino from the Department of Legends
twitchquotes:
Hi it's Johnny Pasterino from the Department of Legends, we would like to promote Michael Santana from Meme Secretary at the League of Legends to Meme Lord at our Department of Legends. Thank you for your time
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imaqtpie
League of Legends
Pornhub's message to Kripp
twitchquotes:
Ｈｅｌｌｏ Ｋｒｉｐｐ， ｔｈｉｓ ｉｓ ｔｈｅ ａｄｍｉｎｉｓｔｒａｔｏｒ ｏｆ ＰｏｒｎＨｕｂ™ ｗｅ ｈａｖｅ ｎｏｔｉｃｅｄ ｙｏｕ ｈａｖｅｎ’ｔ ｌｏｇｇｅｄ ｉｎ ｆｏｒ ２ ｗｅｅｋｓ， ｗｅ’ｒｅ ｊｕｓｔ ｃｈｅｃｋｉｎｇ ｔｏ ｓｅｅ ｉｆ ｅｖｅｒｙｔｈｉｎｇ ｉｓ ｏｋａｙ ａｎｄ ｗｅ’ｖｅ ｐｒｅｐａｒｅｄ ｙｏｕ ａ ｌｉｓｔ ｏｆ ｖｉｄｅｏｓ ｆｒｏｍ ｙｏｕｒ ｆａｖｏｕｒｉｔｅ ｃａｔｅｇｏｒｙ （Ａｓｉａｎ）． Ｓｅｅ ｙｏｕ ｓｏｏｎ！
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Kripp
It's not gay if it's ANIME
twitchquotes:
IT'S 
NOT GAY IF IT'S ANIME
NOT GAY IF IT'S ANIME
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KappaPride
When batman beats mentally ill clowns
twitchquotes:
How come when batman dons a suit of armor and beats up mentally ill clowns its "Heroic" but when I do it I'm "Committing manslaughter" and I'm "Not allowed in McDonalds again"
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