[Copypasta] I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times.

I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
August 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Anime girl wink

⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⠛⠁⣴⣿⡿⠿⠧⠹⠿⠘⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢹⡇⣿⣿⣿⠄⣞⣯⣷⣾⣿⣿⣧⡹⡆⡀⠉⢹⡌⠐⢿⣿⣿⣿⡞⣿⣿⣿ ⣾⡇⣿⣿⡇⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⢻⣦⡀⠁⢸⡌⠻⣿⣿⣿⡽⣿⣿ ⡇⣿⠹⣿⡇⡟⠛⣉⠁⠉⠉⠻⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⡉⠂⠈⠙⢿⣿⣝⣿ ⠤⢿⡄⠹⣧⣷⣸⡇⠄⠄⠲⢰⣌⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣤⡀⠄⠈⠻⢮ ⠄⢸⣧⠄⢘⢻⣿⡇⢀⣀⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠄⢀ ⠄⠈⣿⡆⢸⣿⣿⣿⣬⣭⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⠝⠛⠛⠙⢿⡿⠃⠄⢸ ⠄⠄⢿⣿⡀⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⡾⠁⢠⡇⢀ ⠄⠄⢸⣿⡇⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⣫⣻⡟⢀⠄⣿⣷⣾ ⠄⠄⢸⣿⡇⠄⠈⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣮⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢠⠊⢀⡇⣿⣿ ⠒⠤⠄⣿⡇⢀⡲⠄⠄⠈⠙⠻⢿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠟⠛⠋⠁⣰⠇⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⣿⡇⢬⡻⡇⡄⠄⠄⠄⡰⢖⠔⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⠏⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⣿⡇⠄⠙⢌⢷⣆⡀⡾⡣⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⢿⣿⣿
March 2019

Weebs

OFFICIAL BRUH MOMENT

twitchquotes: ⛔EMERGENCY ALERT SYSTEM⛔ .⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ .⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ .⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ DEPARTMENT OF HOMELAND SECURITY .⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ .⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ .⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ HAS ISSUED AN OFFICIAL .⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ .⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ .⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 🔴🔴BRUH MOMENT🔴🔴
twitch chat
July 2019

Fiddle this, Fiddle that...

twitchquotes: Fiddle this, Fiddle that... For fucks sake chat you do this every time a new champion comes out. Everybody says they are too weak and need buffs. Michael is the ONLY one who goes against the grain to show you that indeed the 27% winrate is a myth and will demonstrate that perfectly clearly how it should be closer to 10%...
twitch chat
April 2020
imaqtpie

League of Legends

Cute / Satisfied cat

⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢋⣩⣉⢻ ⣿⣿⣿⠀⣿⣶⣕⣈⠹⠿⠿⠿⠿⠟⠛⣛⢋⣰⠣⣿⣿⠀⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡀⣿⣿⣿⣧⢻⣿⣶⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠶⡝⠀⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⠘⣿⣿⣿⢏⣿⣿⣋⣀⣈⣻⣿⣿⣷⣤⣤⣿⡐⢿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⢩⣝⣫⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠿⠿⠦⠀⠸⠿⣻⣿⡄⢻ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⣼ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣰ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢀⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠋⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⣿ ⣿⣿⠋⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸ ⣿⠏⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
February 2021

Colossal amount of educational content

twitchquotes: What is this painful experience you’re inflicting upon us, Michael "Imaqtpie" Santana? I personally am not attending to this League of Legends stream to be witness to this truly horrendous game known as the «Dark Dungeons". I came for magnificent memes, incredibly pleasurable Skyrim questing, and exciting League of Legends games with a colossal amount of educational content.
twitch chat
April 2015
imaqtpie

League of Legends

Text-to-Speech Playing