I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
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Trump wakes up with a scream and hugs his stuffed bear
You have posted a bad meme
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Greetings. It appears as though you have posted a "bad meme". Now, it isn't too late to rectify your error! With these simple steps, you can redeem yourself int he eyes of your internet peers. 1) ctrl + w 
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And for a moment the two felt unsalted
twitchquotes:
I love salt too.” Reynad confessed, as he slipped his feminine hand into Kripp’s and smirked. “Are you trying to top-deck me?” protests Kripparroni, as Saltnad blushes, the boyish figure undressed before Kripp. “Weak tempo play, Reynad.” The two kissed, deeply and passionately, and for a moment the two felt unsalted.
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Kripp
salty
SPAM THIS CHILI TO HELP OUT PHILLY
twitchquotes:
🌶️ SPAM 🌶️ THIS 🌶️ CHILI 🌶️ TO 🌶️ HELP 🌶️ OUT 🌶️ PHILLY 🌶️
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gachiGASM hands up
⠄⡄⡆⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⡤⠄⠒⠄⠄⠄⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣄⣠⠄
⢱⣼⣿⠇⢀⠄⠄⠄⡰⠅⢀⣴⣾⡿⠿⢷⠝⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⡝
⠸⣿⣿⠗⠋⠄⠄⠠⠂⠄⣿⣿⡧⢒⣂⣼⣿⣄⡚⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠲⣿⣿⡯
⠄⣿⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣩⣤⣵⡠⡺⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⠃
⠄⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⢀⡘⣿⣿⣿⣧⠋⠖⠚⠂⢹⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣾⣿⠄
⠄⣿⣷⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⢁⣏⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⡲⠾⢻⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿⡟⠄
⠄⢹⣿⣿⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⢫⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠓⠓⡘⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⣿⣿⠁⠄
⠄⠈⠿⠿⠿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠻⠿⠿⠿⠟⠉⠄⠄⠹⠇⠄⠄⠄⠺⠿⠿⠏⠄⠄