I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
The feel when your favorite streamer is a feeder
twitchquotes:
THAT FEEL WHEN YOUR FAVORITE STREAMER IS A FEEDER
THAT FEEL WHEN YOUR FAVORITE STREAMER IS A FEEDER
twitch chat
imaqtpie
League of Legends
I'm jealous of Kripp's gangsta lifestyle
Mom, twitch chat is not a documentary on Nazis!
twitchquotes:
Ｍｙ ｍｏｍ ｊｕｓｔ ｗａｌｋｅｄ ｉｎｔｏ ｍｙ ｒｏｏｍ ａｎｄ ａｓｋｅｄ ｗｈｙ Ｉ ｗａｓ ｗａｔｃｈｉｎｇ ａ ｄｏｃｕｍｅｎｔａｒｙ ｏｎ Ｈｉｔｌｅｒｓ ｔｏｐ ｏｆｆｉｃｅｒｓ． Ｉ ｔｏｌｄ ｈｅｒ "Ｎｏ ｍｏｍ ｉｔ＇ｓ ｊｕｓｔ ｔｗｉｔｃｈ ｃｈａｔ ｍｏｄｓ" Ｓｈｅ ｃａｌｌｅｄ ｍｅ ａ Ｊｅｗ ｈａｔｅｒ ａｎｄ ｂｕｒｎｅｄ ａ Ｓｗａｓｔｉｋａ ｉｎｔｏ ｍｙ ｆｏｒｅｈｅａｄ．
twitch chat
Trump
AITA for slapping a stand-up comedian who dissed my wife?
AITA for slapping a stand-up comedian who dissed my wife?
Okay, little background.
My (53M) wife (50F) has a medical condition called Alopeca Areata, which basically means she has excessive hair loss, and is currently bald.
My relationship with my wife wasn't stable over the years, and I've caught her cheating on me multiple times, but we've pulled through.
Anyway, we went to an awards show and usually there is a comedian who hosts the show and makes jokes at everybody (in a good way). The comedian was a guy we know (and he knew us), and we had a really good time. At one point, he mentioned me and my wife and I was happy he acknowledged us. But then, he took a jab at my wife about her condition, which I thought was way out of line, but I laughed out of embarrassment. My wife, on the other hand, was not laughing at all and rolled her eyes. At that moment I knew I had to stand up for her. I got up on stage, smacked the sh*t out of the guy, and went back to my seat. The comedian was shocked and really wasn't expecting my reaction. He wanted to keep talking about my wife but I shouted at him to stop. Usually I don't curse, but I was really pissed about the whole situation.
My friends could see I was upset and during the break they came to comfort me, but other people think I'm the asshole.
What do you think?
Am I The Asshole?
Will Smith Slap
NOW RISE, DARTH DONGER
twitchquotes:
༼ ͡༼ل͜༽༽ NOW RISE, DARTH DONGER. /{▀益▀}\ Where is Reynad? Is he okay? ༼ ͡༼ ̯ʖ༽༽ It seems in your Spam, you killed him. /{▀益▀}\ What!? HE WAS ALIVE! I FELT IT. Noooooooooooo! ༼ ͡༼ل͜༽༽
twitch chat
Reynad