[Copypasta] I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times.

I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
August 2021
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Your anime dreams will not happen

You will never be Japanese. You will never find the love of your life in Japan, who looks like this and is a cutiepie Japanese girl. You will never be the protagonist in an anime. You will never have superpowers that allow you to overcome your most greatest tribulations. You'll always be a loser.
February 2021

Weebs

Same

twitchquotes: The time was 1:53 AM. This is the last game of my plat promos. The season will end in 7 minutes. We're down by bot turret with our team as we push our lead. I see Scott rolling in as Rammus, traveling at a speed that would put Sonic himself to shame. His words echo through my $5 earbuds. "I'M GOING IN!" I pause to take in the world around me. I can do anything right now. Physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual limits no longer apply to me. I gather the strength in my forefinger as I slowly lift it over my R key. I say...no, I yell, with the ferocity of a million suns, the single word that could be heard around the world. "Same!" Galio prepares himself before leaping into the air, and delivering a devastating blow to the enemies' backline. We did it. The enemy team retreats back into their low elo. I was platinum. With a farewell to Scott for his outstanding work, I drag myself to my bed, ready to fall asleep. My phone chimes. Checking the notifications, I saw only one. A text from Clown9 Sneaky. The message brought a tear to my eye. The message simply read: โ€œIโ€™m proud of you.โ€ Now very emotional, I typed a reply. "Same."
twitch chat
July 2020
Sneaky

League of Legends

Ho Lee Fuk

twitchquotes: Hello, my name is Ho Lee Fuk and i are fromm Chinaland Father say i need become doctor and make her proud but i chose become HS player like Reckful. Father not happy with choice and told commit sudoku but i know i make right choice. Sorry i no speak propeller engrish and pls no coppy pasterino dongerino frappucino cappucino al pacino
twitch chat
March 2014
Reckful

Iron Man

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ”€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ”€โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
ascii art
September 2021

FeelsOkayMan

โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ ฟโข‹โฃฅโฃดโฃถโฃถโฃถโฃฌโฃ™โ ปโ Ÿโฃ‹โฃญโฃญโฃญโฃญโก™โ ปโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกฟโข‹โฃดโฃฟโฃฟโ ฟโขŸโฃ›โฃ›โฃ›โ ฟโขทโกนโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃ†โ นโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกฟโขโฃพโฃฟโฃฟโฃดโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ ฟโ ฟโ ทโ ฅโ ฑโฃถโฃถโฃถโฃถโกถโ ฎโ คโฃŒโก™โขฟโฃฟ โฃฟโกฟโข›โกโฃพโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกฟโขŸโกซโข•โฃชโกญโ ฅโขญโฃญโฃ‰โก‚โฃ‰โก’โฃคโกญโก‰โ ฉโฃฅโฃฐโ ‚โ น โกŸโข โฃฟโฃฑโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃโฃ›โขฒโฃพโฃฟโ ƒโ „โ โ ˆโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ „โ โ ƒโขธโฃฟโฃฟโกง โข โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃ‡โฃŠโ ™โ ณโ คโ คโ พโฃŸโ ›โ โฃนโฃ›โฃ›โฃขโฃ€โฃ โฃ›โกฏโข‰โฃฐ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃทโกถโ ถโข’โฃ โฃผโฃฟโฃฟโฃ›โ ปโ ›โข›โฃ›โ ‰โฃดโฃฟโฃฟ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกฟโข›โก›โขฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃถโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃทโกˆโขฟโฃฟ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ ธโฃฟโกปโขทโฃโฃ›โ ปโ ฟโ ฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ ฟโข‡โก˜โฃฟ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃทโฃโ ปโ ถโฃฌโฃโฃ›โฃ›โ “โ ถโ ถโ ถโ คโ ฌโ ญโ คโ ถโ ถโ žโ ›โฃกโฃฟ โขฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃทโฃถโฃฌโฃญโฃโฃ™โฃ›โฃ›โฃ›โ ›โ ›โ ›โ ฟโ ฟโ ฟโ ›โฃ โฃฟโฃฟ โฃฆโฃˆโ ‰โข›โ ปโ ฟโ ฟโขฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกฟโ ฟโ ›โฃโฃดโฃพโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃถโฃฎโฃญโฃโฃ’โฃ’โฃ’โ ‚โ  โ ฌโ ญโ ญโ ญโข€โฃ€โฃ โฃ„โก˜โ ฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฆโกˆโขฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ
ascii art
December 2021
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