I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
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More Copypastas
Everything points to Amogus
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๐๐ฟ๐๐พ๐๐ฝ๐๐ผ๐๐ป เถ ๐๐ป๐๐ผ๐๐ฝ๐๐พ๐๐ฟ
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Among Us / Amogus
Classic
Holding Galactic Virgins
Virgin Galactic Holdings changes name to Holding Galactic Virgins, and announces itโs changing its business model to extraterrestrial prostitution.
Edit: SpaceX, not to be outdone, changes to SpaceSex
WallStreetBets
Worry about a tree, miss the entire forest
twitchquotes:
ใฝ( อกยฐโญอสโฎอกยฐ )๏พ And if you only worry about a tree, you'll miss the entire forest around it ใฝ( อกยฐโญอสโฎอกยฐ )๏พ-Sage Dong
twitch chat
Trump
So my boyfriend loves to play dota 2
twitchquotes:
So my boyfriend loves to play dota 2 and is very immersed in twitch culture and this has extended to his everyday conversation. It seems like he can't go one sentence without using one such twitch "meme", like "pogchamp", "omegalul", "monka s", "bible thump", or "monka giga". I am fine with him watching twitch and enjoying his video games but honestly it's quite embarassing when we are talking to someone in public and he just randomly busts out a twitch "meme". It's so cringey and all my friends think he's weird. And don't even get me started on the random japanese phrases (he's white...) I swear this sounds like a meme post but i promise this is my real life ;___;
twitch chat
Hello Mr. Santana this is Michelle Obama
twitchquotes:
Hello Mr. Santana this is Michelle Obama, i'm loving your stream but all this feeding is making USA looks like garbage, i'm sending my husband (BARACK OBAMA) to shut you down.
twitch chat
imaqtpie