I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Kripp saved my marriage
twitchquotes:
I was going through a rough time in my marriage where nothing seemed to arouse me anymore. Things had gone stale between me and my wife in bed and divorce seemed inevitable. But then I discovered Kripp's stream and everything changed. There's just something about that vegan bald head that does something to me, and before I knew it my libido was back. I now go at it with my wife at the sounds of "Fuck!" and "Topdeck Flamestrike!" to boost my vigor. Thank you Kripp for saving my marriage.
twitch chat
Kripp
Hearthstone
I officially hate Twitch
twitchquotes:
I officially hate Twitch. I worked so hard all day to make a copy pasta that would take the OWL by storm. But no one is considerate enough to copy it with me. Maybe I should just spam J 
K E like the rest of you sheep
K E like the rest of you sheep
twitch chat
OverwatchLeague
Overwatch
A young Ben Shapiro insults his classmate
Let's say, hypothetically, your mom was wearing a yellow raincoat. Now, also in this scenario, there is a man needing to get home. When he sees your mom, he will yell "taxi, taxi!". Now, why does he do this? The answer is actually quite simple. Your mom is so fat she is the size of a taxi, and the yellow raincoat she is theoretically wearing is the same color as a taxi. Therefore, the man mistakes her for a taxi. So, what has this hypothetical scenario shown us? It has shown us that your mom is very, very, fat. Boom! Once again destroyed with facts and logic.
Ben Shapiro
LOOKS LIKE I ROLLED AN AD DIE
twitchquotes:
๐ฒ 
LOOKS LIKE I ROLLED AN AD DIE ๐ฒ LOOKS LIKE I ROLLED AN AD DIE ๐ฒ LOOKS LIKE I ROLLED AN AD DIE ๐ฒ
LOOKS LIKE I ROLLED AN AD DIE ๐ฒ LOOKS LIKE I ROLLED AN AD DIE ๐ฒ LOOKS LIKE I ROLLED AN AD DIE ๐ฒ
twitch chat
TwitchPresents
YuGiOh Ad Marathon
twitch chatting requires a BIG BRAIN
twitchquotes:
If you think about it twitch chatting requires a certain level of intelligence considering the vast number of emotes, knowing which scenarios to use them, and remembering how to spell them (including capital vs lowercase letters)
twitch chat