[Copypasta] I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times.

I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
August 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Who came? Bananaman

twitchquotes: My son is running around the house without pants saying "Who Came". I came over to his computer and your sub sound is completely inappropriate. I have the strong urge to disown my son now. Unbelievable. As a parent you disappoint me.
twitch chat
August 2017
shroud

PlayerUnknown's Battlegrounds

I work hours and hours on those copypastas

twitchquotes: That's just great...really..i expected more from a "friend" of mine. You know, i work hours, and hours on those copypastas. I gave in all, really. I tried to make it perfect. Why? Because i wanted to impress you. Yes you. My "friend". Or at least i tought you were one. But when im done, you just stab me in the back, and steal my creation?! Really?! I would have expected somthing like this from a random twitch viewer, but not from you. Honestly, i think it's just simply disgusting. I...I can't even find words...You know what? If this is the reaction i'm getting, i'll just stop. Yes. I'll stop, and never post a copypasta ever again! It's because of you...my "friend".
twitch chat
December 2014
Forsen

A single Dongerbill can save a life

twitchquotes: Hello, I'm Sarah McLanchdong. Every day millions of poor, helpless dongers go unraised everyday. Dongers that are abused and negated, like this poor fellow ༼ ▀̿ ̿ ل͟ຈ ༽. For just one Dongerbill [̲$̲(̲ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°̲)̲$̲] a day we can help save these forgotten dongers (◉_☢) ༼ ͝°ʖಠ ༽ ( ͡°ل͜ º) from a life time of being lowered. Your there only hope, because just a minute of your time and a single Dongerbill [̲$̲(̲ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°̲)̲$̲] can save a life.
twitch chat
November 2014

Classic

Why did I marry this angry bald internet man?

twitchquotes: It’s 11 p.m. and i've finally gotten comfortable in bed. It's been a long day and finally being able to get some rest is such a luxury. But my peace is soon broken as my husband shouts from the other room "OH COME ON! That was such BULLSHIT! Fucking highrolled AGAIN." Why did i do this to myself. Why did I marry this angry bald internet man? I haven't slept properly in months for his constant yelling throughout the night. God help me.
twitch chat
September 2020
Kripp

i'm an mibr fan

twitchquotes: 🤡 not so smart 🤡 cry when i can 🤡 you guessed it right 🤡 i'm an mibr fan 🤡
twitch chat
June 2020

CSGO

Text-to-Speech Playing