[Copypasta] I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times.

I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
August 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

TWITCH PLAYS POT OF GREED

twitchquotes: TWITCH PLAYS POT OF GREED EleGiggle IT PLAYS TWO MORE ADS EleGiggle TWITCH PLAYS POT OF GREED EleGiggle IT PLAYS TWO MORE ADS EleGiggle TWITCH PLAYS POT OF GREED EleGiggle IT PLAYS TWO MORE ADS EleGiggle
twitch chat
October 2017
TwitchPresents

YuGiOh Ad Marathon

I was talking about TSM

twitchquotes: My mom just entered my room and asked me to stop watching garbage. I told her that League of Legends was a respectable esport with millions of player around the world. She responded: “I know. I was talking about TSM, they’re trash” KEKW.
twitch chat
October 2020
Riot Games

League of Legends

AYAYA face

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣀⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⣠⣶⣶⣶⣶⣤⡉⠻⣿⣿⣷⣀⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄ ⠄⣿⡿⠟⠛⠛⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠄ ⠄⠁⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠉⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄ ⠄⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⣠⡼⠛⣁⣴⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄ ⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄ ⠄⠄⠹⣿⣿⠟⠛⠛⠁⣀⣉⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠙⢫⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⣁⣤⣴⣶⣶⣦⡙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠃⢸⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡙⠛⣉⣡⣤⡴⠖⠄⠚⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠒⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
November 2021

Weebs

I fucking hate gaming laptops

I fucking hate gaming laptops. Today when I walked into my economics class I saw something I dread every time I close my eyes. Someone had brought their new gaming laptop to class. The Forklift he used to bring it was still running idle at the back. I started sweating as I sat down and gazed over at the 700lb beast that was his laptop. He had already reinforced his desk with steel support beams and was in the process of finding an outlet for a power cable thicker than Amy Schumer's thigh. I start shaking. I keep telling myself I'm going to be alright and that there's nothing to worry about. He somehow finds a fucking outlet. Tears are running down my cheeks as I send my last texts to my family saying I love them. The teacher starts the lecture, and the student turns his laptop on. The colored lights on his RGB Backlit keyboard flare to life like a nuclear flash, and a deep humming fills my ears and shakes my very soul. The entire city power grid goes dark. The classroom begins to shake as the massive fans begin to spin. In mere seconds my world has gone from vibrant life, to a dark, earth shattering void where my body is getting torn apart by the 150mph gale force winds and the 500 decibel groan of the cooling fans. As my body finally surrenders, I weep, as my school and my city go under. I fucking hate gaming laptops.
January 2022

Twitch's terrible Bounty commercial

twitchquotes: Four people on me. Quick I need help. Dash, we're on then way. Come on guys we got this. NOOOO. NOOOO.Quick! The quicker picker upper.A spill? No biggie.That's right chat, ya GOTTA have Bounty at your battle station. My man! Let's get back into this. Cover Me, cover me. Guy's I'm still knocked over here. Bounty. The Quicker Picker-upper.
twitch chat
June 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing