I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
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LS aka "Lost Sailor" is a navigator turned caster who hails from Antartica
twitchquotes:
LS aka "Lost Sailor" is a navigator turned caster who hails from Antartica, having been lost at sea due to his lack of geographical knowledge as well as his lack of map awareness and ending up in the region known for their excellent ARAM skills and elderly pro players. He is specifically known for his knowledge about "freezing" and one-tricking Volibear in level 25 draft pick. He states: "I had to shove the wave and ended up in NA. If we hadn't anchored I wouldn't be hardstuck in the fucking atlantic sea" and "No, my pathing wasn't bad, if the captain had listened to me we could've denied 3 waves". He can be found sailing the bottom of solo-queue just like he almost sailed the bottom of the sea.
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imls
League of Legends
We are sending you to India to marry your beautiful cousin
twitchquotes:
Hello Michael, this is your mother. I write here to inform you that your father and I do not approve of your timewaste playing childrens game for the internet. Therefor we are sending you to India to marry your beautiful cousin Venkatanarasimharajuvaripeta and work as a train conductor..
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imaqtpie
Knight of Negativitironi
twitchquotes:
<:::::[]=ยคเผผ โ_โเผฝๅธ I am the knight of Negativitironi. Stand back foul positivitironi! <:::::[]=ยคเผผ โ_โเผฝๅธ
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Kripp
IS EARTH PREPARED FOR THE LANDING OF THE MOTHERSHIP?
twitchquotes:
๐๐ฝ HELLO? SINATRAA (SPECIMEN #3457) ๐๐ฝHOW IS YOUR MISSION GOING? ๐๐ฝ IS EARTH PREPARED FOR THE LANDING OF THE MOTHERSHIP? ๐๐ฝ
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OverwatchLeague
Overwatch
Dear women who post nudes on reddit.
Stop with the fucking " I bet you'll never guess what's under my dress.."
It's tits. It's always fucking tits.
This is no mystery to anyone, and human anatomy has been the same for over 100k years. Seriously, shut the fuck up. You all do this. Do you really think your tits and asshole are so special that they're going to shift our collective consciousness or something?
"I bet the guys at the gym wonder what's under my yoga pants."
I bet they already know, and if they fucking don't, maybe you shouldn't be at a kid gym for 4 year olds.