[Copypasta] I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times.

I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
August 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

I want to fuck a cheeseburger

I want to fuck a cheeseburger. Just having that cheesy goodness melt all around my cock would make me feel at ease with the world again. Being able to cum inside a dead cow makes me feel so alive. I have been banned from 231 McDonald’s for public masturbation. Whenever I see an ad for McDonald’s I get so fucking horny. God I want to fuck a cheeseburger.
April 2021

What is the most powerful card in Hearthstone?

twitchquotes: What is the most powerful card in Hearthstone? Credit Card.
twitch chat
August 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

Watch a middle aged man play a children's card game

twitchquotes: EleGiggle THAT MOMENT EleGiggle WHEN YOU EleGiggle REALIZE EleGiggle EleGiggle THAT YOU PAY $5 A MONTH EleGiggle TO WATCH A MIDDLE AGED MAN EleGiggle PLAY A CHILDRENS CARTOON GAME EleGiggle
twitch chat
May 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

XD

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣯⡉⠉⠉⠙⢿⣿⠟⠉⠉⠉⣩⡇⠄⠄⢀⣀⣀⡀⠄⠄⠈⠹⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠄⠄⠈⠁⠄⠄⣠⣾⣿⡇⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⠄⠄⠄⠠⣾⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⢿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠸⠿⠿⠿⠟⠄⠄⠄⣰⣿⣿ ⣿⡿⠟⠁⠄⢀⣰⣶⣄⠄⠄⠈⠻⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
November 2018

With love from me, your dad, to you, my son

twitchquotes: Sebastian Fors, I think it'll be hard for you to take this in but here go. I've wanted to write you this message since the day you started streaming. Though I'm not happy how you act here, roleplaying and god knows what while streaming. But you know that I will allways love you. I'm coming to dreamhack this summer and I'll finally get to meet you. If you remember your mother, Hafu, you will understand why leaving you with her was my only option... I have not been the greatest father... but I'll allways love you and care for you. Even though people call you a roleplayer I will allways protect you. WIth love from me, your dad, to you, my son. - Trump
twitch chat
December 2014
Forsen
Text-to-Speech Playing