I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Chika dance
⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⢀⣴⡾⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠺⠟⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⡀⠄
⢸⣿⣿⣿⡟⢀⣴⣿⡿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷
⢸⣿⣿⠟⣴⣿⡿⡟⡼⢹⣷⢲⡶⣖⣾⣶⢄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣼⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⢸⣿⢫⣾⣿⡟⣾⡸⢠⡿⢳⡿⠍⣼⣿⢏⣿⣷⢄⡀⠄⢠⣾⢻⣿⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⡿⣡⣿⣿⡟⡼⡁⠁⣰⠂⡾⠉⢨⣿⠃⣿⡿⠍⣾⣟⢤⣿⢇⣿⢇⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣱⣿⣿⡟⡐⣰⣧⡷⣿⣴⣧⣤⣼⣯⢸⡿⠁⣰⠟⢀⣼⠏⣲⠏⢸⣿⡟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⡟⠁⠄⠟⣁⠄⢡⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣼⢟⢀⡼⠃⡹⠃⡀⢸⡿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟
⣿⣿⠃⠄⢀⣾⠋⠓⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⣾⣅⢔⣕⡇⡇⡼⢁⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢣
⣿⡟⠄⠄⣾⣇⠷⣢⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣭⣀⡈⠙⢿⣿⣿⡇⡧⢁⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢏⣾
⣿⡇⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢻⠇⠄⠄⢿⣿⡇⢡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⣼⣿
⣿⣷⢰⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢰⣧⣀⡄⢀⠘⡿⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣼⣿⣿
⢹⣿⢸⣿⣿⠟⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣭⣉⣤⣿⢈⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⣾⣹⣿⣿
⢸⠇⡜⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠈⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣱⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⢳⠃⣿⣿⣿
⠄⣰⡗⠹⣿⣄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣅⣥⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠄⠄⣾⡌⢠⣿⡿⠃
⠜⠋⢠⣷⢻⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣛⣥⣾⣿⠿⠟⠛⠉⠄⠄
Weebs
hafu you keep calling your boyfriend dog
Chibi LeBlanc
⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⢿⣿⢿⣿⢿⣿⢿⣿⢿⣿⢿⣿⢿⣿⠿⠿⢿⡿⣿⡿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⢾⣟⣯⣿⢯⣿⢯⣿⢯⡿⠯⠛⠋⠉⠠⠄⠠⠈⢀⠠⢹⣟⣿⡽⣟⢿⢾⢿⡿⣿⢿⣿⢿⣿⢿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣟⣿⣽⢿⡾⣟⣯⡿⠫⠉⡀⠂⠐⠈⡀⠂⡈⠠⠈⢀⠄⡈⢿⡷⡯⡺⡪⡽⣕⢟⢮⢯⡺⣕⢯⡳⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣟⣷⣟⣿⣻⢿⠉⠡⠐⠄⠄⢈⠄⡁⠠⠄⠄⠐⠈⠄⠄⢀⠸⣿⢯⢝⢮⢳⢝⡽⣕⢷⢝⡮⣳⢝⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣟⣷⢿⣽⣯⣿⡇⢁⠄⡁⠐⠄⠄⠠⠐⠄⠂⢁⠈⡀⠂⠠⠄⠹⣗⡝⣎⢯⡳⣝⢮⡳⣝⣞⢵⢯⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣽⣟⣷⢿⣞⣷⡀⠄⠠⠈⡀⠂⠐⢀⠁⡈⠄⠄⡀⠂⡁⠄⠠⠓⣝⢎⣗⢽⡪⣗⡽⣺⡪⡯⡺⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣷⢿⣽⡾⣟⣯⡿⣇⠄⢂⠠⠄⡈⠄⠄⡂⠄⡁⢂⠐⠠⠐⠄⡂⠠⠱⠣⠳⠝⠮⠳⠝⠞⡮⣫⢯⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣟⣿⣳⣿⣟⣯⣿⢿⡄⠂⠠⠁⠠⠈⡀⢂⠁⢂⠠⡈⠠⠈⠄⠄⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⡠⣜⡵⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⡽⣟⣾⣯⢿⡾⣟⣷⠄⡁⢈⠄⢡⢰⡰⣢⣳⠄⡯⡃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⣠⢤⣖⢾⡹⣝⢞⢮⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣷⢿⣟⣷⡟⠟⠋⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢗⣗⢽⣕⢗⠄⡼⢝⠄⠄⠄⠂⠄⠄⠄⢯⡳⣕⢯⡺⣕⢯⡳⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣟⡿⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠄⣁⣓⢽⢵⣳⠏⣕⣒⠒⡆⠄⠄⡁⠄⠐⠄⢸⢮⡳⣝⣞⢽⢕⡯⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣟⣷⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⢿⡇⠄⠂⣻⢊⢰⢾⣻⣽⣿⣳⢰⢲⡃⠠⠄⠄⠄⢀⠈⠄⠄⠉⠌⠨⣁⡻⣪⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣳⡿⣾⢷⣿⡚⢁⠄⠄⣸⢽⢽⣾⣻⣯⣷⢿⣾⣽⣽⠁⠄⢀⠄⠂⠄⢀⠄⠈⡤⣳⢽⢕⡯⡳⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣯⣿⣻⣽⡿⣾⣻⣷⡄⠄⠘⢿⣻⣾⢾⡷⣾⢿⡷⣿⢾⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⢌⢯⡺⣕⢯⡺⣝⣿⣿
⣿⣿⡿⣞⣯⣷⣿⣻⣽⣾⢀⡆⠄⠄⠈⠙⠋⠛⠛⣋⣍⠁⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⢀⠐⣜⣗⢽⣕⢯⣺⢳⣝⢮⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣻⣟⣖⣭⣝⠷⠯⣾⡿⣦⣀⠃⢀⣀⠶⣿⡽⠿⠆⠂⠄⡀⣾⡰⣝⢜⢮⢮⡳⣕⢯⢮⡳⡳⣝⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣯⣿⣽⢷⣾⡃⢀⡄⠉⠙⠋⠄⢄⣻⣿⡗⢰⣾⣿⣷⠄⡁⠄⣿⡯⣪⡫⣺⢕⡯⣺⢝⡵⣫⢯⢮⣿⣿
⣿⣿⡿⣞⣯⡿⣷⢿⣟⣿⢷⣾⣄⣷⢿⠁⣯⢇⣿⣷⣿⠇⢀⢀⠂⠸⣯⣪⢺⡪⣗⡽⡮⣳⢽⡪⣗⢗⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣻⣯⣿⣻⢿⣽⣯⡿⣷⣻⣽⠏⢀⣿⢸⣿⣿⣯⠄⡠⣸⡆⠠⠑⣕⢗⣝⢞⢮⡫⣞⢵⡫⣞⣝⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣯⡿⣾⢯⣿⣻⢷⣯⡿⣯⡿⠁⡈⠙⡿⠘⠿⠟⢛⣁⡠⠘⢿⣆⠄⠘⠵⣕⢯⡳⡽⡺⣕⡟⡮⡮⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣯⣿⣻⣯⣷⢿⣻⡷⣿⢯⡟⠄⢪⣴⣄⠠⣠⣾⡿⣟⣇⢠⠘⢿⣀⣡⣬⡺⣕⢯⡫⡯⡺⡮⡯⣺⣿⣿
⣿⣿⡿⣾⣻⣾⣻⣟⣯⣿⣻⣟⠃⣴⣾⢿⣻⣧⠪⣷⡿⢛⣩⣴⡶⡈⢷⣫⡳⡯⣳⢝⡮⡯⣫⢞⣝⢮⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣻⣽⡾⣯⣿⣽⡾⣯⡟⠄⠿⣾⢿⣟⡎⠂⠉⣶⢿⣻⡽⠋⡀⠄⢞⣜⢮⣳⡫⣞⣝⢮⢯⡺⡵⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣯⣿⣷⣿⣿⣾⣷⣿⣿⠇⠄⠠⠄⡙⠙⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⠋⠄⠄⠠⠄⠈⢮⣺⡪⣞⡵⡳⡽⡵⣝⣞⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠐⡀⠐⢨⠄⠄⠄⠄⣾⣦⣌⠄⢂⠄⠄⠄⠳⣝⢞⢮⢯⡳⣝⢮⢮⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠄⠄⠂⠠⠈⣿⣇⠄⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿⣮⡀⠄⠡⣀⠄⠘⠹⡵⣳⢝⡮⡯⡺⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠂⣀⣿⣿⣆⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠂⣯⡫⣖⣖⢮⣳⣝⢮⣏⢯⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣶⣶⣶⡲⣖⡎⠄⣼⣻⡻⣻⣪⡻⡯⣟⢯⣟⢯⢯⠰⡱⣝⣞⣮⣟⣞⣞⣵⣳⣝⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣾⣵⣥⣜⣷⣕⣯⣳⣳⣽⣝⣞⣗⣽⣽⣝⣵⣯⣳⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
League of Legends
Penis Inspection Day
twitchquotes:
I was talking to some people I know, and apparently I'm the only person who remembers "Penis Inspection Day" in Elementary School. The gym teacher took us into the washroom one at a time while everyone else kept playing, and tugged our foreskin back and inspected our penis to make sure we were developing properly and keeping clean. Surely I can't be the only one who remembers this, other people must have had Penis Inspection Day at their school too.
twitch chat
Kripp has contracted Casualitis
twitchquotes:
The average length of Kripp's stream has decreased over the past 3 years from an average length of 11 hours to the current average of 5 hours. In 2 more years, Kripp will stream for 0 hours. What's the cause? Sources say Kripp has contracted a terminal illness - Casualitis. Soon he will join Katarrian in Heaven. 
twitch chat
Kripp