I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Ahsoka Tano
twitchquotes:
Luke, did I ever tell you about Ahsoka Tano? She was your father’s exotic teenage alien apprentice, a fine piece of jailbait from a more civilized age. She had the tightest body and the perkiest little breasts in the galaxy; barely legal in most systems. Anakin and I used to doubleteam her at the end of every successful campaign during the Clone Wars, and once in a while we’d even have the entire 501st run a train over her, part of official Jedi “training” of course. In time, she learned how to handle a meatsaber better than anyone in the Jedi Temple. She wore a miniskirt every day so we told her there were no panties in space, and since she was constantly doing acrobatics you’d get a glimpse of her orange pussy mid fight as she’d do a flip while slicing a B2 Super Battledroid in half. It was surreal. We taught her to grip her weapon backwards like a dildo and she constantly got captured by pirates and slavers almost every other day. It was ridiculous, like a constant porno Luke, you have no idea. And she was a good friend.
twitch chat
Every 60 seconds, a minute passes in Africa
twitchquotes:
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes. Together we can stop this. Please spread the word ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
twitch chat
Classic
A ghosty is a poorly trained stream sniper
twitchquotes:
G H O S T Y : A ghosty is a poorly trained stream sniper that uses picture frames to maintain close visual contact with the enemy and engage targets from concealed positions or distances exceeding the detection capabilities of their opponent
twitch chat
Reynad
Sadge
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⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⣝⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
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Pepe
Inverted Toucan
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