I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
(βΜΏΔΉΜ―ββ¬β΄β¬β΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas
Fortnite that's how Mafia works
twitchquotes:
Fortnite. Fortnite. Fortnite. It was all my two kids talked about. They were utterly devoted to it. I had to make a change. I took the controllers and told them they couldn't play until they downloaded Mafia City. They whined and whined, but soon became engrossed in this amazing and educational game. Fortnite soon forgotten, their grades improved rapidly, much like their levels in game. The teachers were amazed, "how do they do it?" they asked me, I simply replied "that's how Mafia works."
twitch chat
Ben Shapiro Olive Garden breadsticks
Letβs say that, hypothetically, you really did have unlimited breadsticks. Now, since they are unlimited, that means that you will never run out. However, on Earth there is a limited supply of the materials required to make breadsticks. Thus, if I were to attempt to eat as many breadsticks as possible, I would not be able to as eventually you would sell out, am I correct? Now that we have established that there are infinite breadsticks but finite supplies to make them, would it not be reasonable to conclude that you are either breaking the laws of physics, or are lying to me? And since one cannot break the laws of physics, logically you must be lying to me. Facts donβt care about your feelings liberals, you have committed the crime of false advertising and must give me free food or I will inform the authorities.
Ben Shapiro
Octavian Morosan
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Kripp
Shuffle a Weasel into Twitch Chat
twitchquotes:
οΌ·οΌ₯οΌ‘οΌ³οΌ₯οΌ¬ Deathrattle: Shuffle a οΌ·οΌ₯οΌ‘οΌ³οΌ₯οΌ¬ into twitch chat.
οΌ·οΌ₯οΌ‘οΌ³οΌ₯οΌ¬ Deathrattle: Shuffle a οΌ·οΌ₯οΌ‘οΌ³οΌ₯οΌ¬ into twitch chat.
twitch chat
Hearthstone
You have been gifted the Golden Kappa!
twitchquotes:
ββββββββββββββββββββββββ 
You have been gifted the Golden Kappa!ββββββββββββββββββββββββ
You have been gifted the Golden Kappa!ββββββββββββββββββββββββ
twitch chat