[Copypasta] I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times.

I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
August 2021
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More Copypastas

i graduated top of my class from burger king

twitchquotes: you fucking vegan, ill have you know i graduated top of my class from burger king university in burger flipping and have flipped over 9000 burgers in my day you dumb vegan, but you wouldn't know that would you you soy muncher? If you said that to my face I would be flipping patties all over your vegan face and you'd be full of my meat before you even knew what was happening.
twitch chat
September 2017
Kripp

Ban one American, get the whole McDonald's

twitchquotes: OpieOP ban OpieOP one OpieOP american OpieOP and OpieOP you OpieOP get OpieOP the OpieOP whole OpieOP mcdonalds OpieOP
twitch chat
April 2017

MODS

Ban X Get The Whole Y

EU vs NA

Wife attack AITA?

I (46M) was having lunch (lasagna) with my side chick (42F) on a lovely day (23°C) when all of a sudden my wife (44F) of 35 years barges in and starts attacking me (46M). Wtf (what the fuck) was she thinking I had been having sex with my side chick (42F) every other weekend it's not like I was doing this every day. She (44F) then starts attacking her (42F) and the wait staff (32M, 26M and 29M) have to intervene. Completely ruined my lunch. AITA?
December 2019

Am I The Asshole?

I love you chat FeelsGoodMan

⣿⠭⣿⣿⡏⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⠿⣿⠿⠻⣿⣿⡛⣿⡟⢻⠟⣫⡙⣿⠛⣿⢻⣿ ⣿⠄⣿⣿⡇⣿⢋⣶⡆⣿⠈⢏⣼⠃⣬⠕⣿⣿⣷⡘⢡⣿⠸⠟⣡⣿⠠⢟⢸⣿ ⣿⣼⣿⣿⣤⣿⣬⣭⣶⣿⣧⡾⣿⣶⣶⣾⣿⣯⣙⡁⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⡛⣻⡇⢟⠋⣿⣏⠭⠈⣯⡆⢰⡾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡃⣾⠟⣻⠁⣿⠄⣟⢑⣫⣀⣿⣇⣨⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣳⣴⣿⠿⠯⠽⣻⢿⣿⡿⣟⣻⣿⣿⣿⣛⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣫⣾⣿⣫⣵⣶⣿⡿⠿⠶⠮⠙⠿⠛⣛⣩⣭⡭⠟⠛⠚⠛⣻⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣟⢹⣿⣿⣿⠿⢟⡫⢕⣢⠭⠤⢤⣤⣏⣩⠪⣙⡠⢤⡩⠍⠄⢤⣄⡰⢙⣿ ⣿⢳⣏⣾⣿⣿⡩⠭⣱⣶⣿⠁⠨⠐⠂⢹⣿⣿⣿⣮⣾⣿⠄⠥⠐⠂⢹⣿⣿⣾ ⣯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣞⠽⢻⠦⢀⣀⣤⠾⢿⣛⡯⣛⣻⣿⠦⢀⣀⣴⣛⡻⣯⣿ ⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣩⣶⡶⠶⢤⣤⣝⣛⡻⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢟⣃⡻⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣽⣛⠷⢾⣭⣝⣛⣛⡻⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⢟⣛⢫⣿⣿ ⠘⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣭⣽⣛⣛⣛⣛⡛⠻⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣻⣾⣿⣿ ⠄⠁⠨⠑⠲⠭⢭⣭⣽⣙⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⠛⠛⠭⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄⠄⠐⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠒⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠝⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
December 2019

Pepe

Falls Guys with boobs

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣶⣿⠿⣩⣵⣶⣶⣏⡠⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣴⣿⣿⡟⣴⡿⢿⣿⣿⢿⣷⡔⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣇⣈⣿⣿⣤⣽⣧⢰⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣬⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢃⣼⣿⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⢹⣿⣦⣤⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⢠⣾⡙⢋⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣻⣿⣿⡿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣮⣉⠋⠉⣿⣿⣶⣄⠄ ⣰⣿⣍⡩⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢉⣈⠙⢻⣿⣇⢹⡇⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠶⠈⢛⣿⣿⣧ ⢿⣿⣿⢱⡿⠋⠉⣿⣿⠁⠙⠉⠄⣸⣿⣿⢸⣧⡹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠄⠈⠱⠾⠏ ⠈⠙⠛⠋⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⡈⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⡇⣼⣿⣷⣭⠙⠿⠿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣦⣝⣛⣫⣥⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢹⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⢻⣿⡏⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠉⠉⠄⠰⠿⠿⠿⠆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
January 2021

NSFW

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