I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
I wanna troll Reynard too
twitchquotes:
How do I do the salt emote I wanna troll Reynard too
twitch chat
Reynad
Among Us pick up lines
Thankful to have you as a crewmate… but do you want to add a letter and become screwmates instead?
Hey, are you one of my tasks? Because I really want to do you.
Hey, are you a vent? Because I’m the imposter and I’d love to come in you.
I have a lot of tasks to complete still, but I’d love to do you first.
Hey, call me the MedBay… because I’d love to scan your body.
Figuring out the imposter is hard…. but I’ve got something harder.
I’m jealous of your hat… Because it gets to be on you.
Hey are you busy later? Because I’d love to explore your lower engine.
Hey, you’re done your tasks right? Wanna come explore my cockpit then?
If you’re the imposter, I’d love to be the vent… That way you can come inside me whenever you want.
Damn, I wish you were a task… Because I’d have no problem doing you and over and over.
Hey did you just kill me? Because I’ve got a big bone sticking out now…
Among Us / Amogus
Hosty and Amaz
twitchquotes:
"Hey Hosty, I've got some bad news." says Amaz to Hosty. "But I wasn't ghosting I swear!" he replies, sweating heavily. "It's alright, I won't fire you, as long as you do something for me." Hosty knows what Amaz wants. He bends over and lets Amaz have his way. Afterwards, as he cries on the bed, Amaz whispers in his ear, "I lied. You're fired..
twitch chat
Amaz
I remember meeting hbox at a tournament
Potato harvest is bad. Play Hearthstone in Amerikanski
twitchquotes:
My name Dimitri Baryshnikov. I grow up in small farm to have make potatos. Father say "Dimitri, potato harvest is bad. Need you to have play porfessional game in Amerikanski for make money for head-scarf for babushka." I bring honor to komrade and babushka. Sorry for is not have English. Plz no cykapasta
twitch chat
Kripp