[Copypasta] I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times.

I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
August 2021
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More Copypastas

Can you guys critique my portfolio? New investor looking for guidance

Not sure if this is the best place to post this but I just inherited 1.5M from my distant uncle and want to make him proud. Right now my portfolio I have: 10% LUCK 20% SKLZ 15% CPW 5% PLTR 50% PAIN and 100% R.TO (RTN) is this an ok for a beginner looking for conservative annual 37% gains?
March 2021

WallStreetBets

Hi Tyler, this is the riot balance team

twitchquotes: Hi Tyler, this is the riot balance team contacting you due to your expertise in the game known as League of Legends. We wanted to invite you here, to riot studios, to singlehandedly write the code for the next big patch, rebalancing the game anyway you want! we know youre a much better player, coder, and balancer of games than we are. Thank YOU T1!!!
twitch chat
April 2018
Tyler1

League of Legends

Small but dedicated scene in Antarctica

twitchquotes: Do you have any idea how hard it is to get a Switch to boot up when it's -135 degrees outside? Out here in Antarctica, we have a small but dedicated scene. I'm the only human among us, but we have some high level penguins as well. You mess with the waddle, you mess with all of us
twitch chat
February 2019

Super Smash Bros

Somewhere in a parallel universe, Reynad isn't salty

twitchquotes: ★  ★ ° ☾ ☆ ¸. ¸  ★  :.  . • ○ ° ★  .  * . .  ¸ .   °  ¸. * ● ¸ . ...somewhere   ° ☾ °  ¸. ● ¸ .  ★ ° :.  . • °   .  * :. .in a parallel universe* ● ¸     ° ☾ °☆  . * ¸.   ★ ★ ° . .    . ☾ °☆  . * ● ¸ ..Reynad...° ☾ ★ °● ¸ .   ★ ° :.  . • ○ ° ★  .  * Isn't salty ☾ ★ °● ¸ .   ★ °
twitch chat
July 2014
Reynad

Classic

Hearthstone

salty

SeemsGood

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October 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing