[Copypasta] I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times.

I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
August 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

I miss the old Harambe

twitchquotes: I miss the old Harambe. Straight from the zoo Harambe. Eating his food Harambe. No attitude Harambe. I hate the new Harambe. Shot by a dude Harambe. The Youtube views Harambe. Up in the news Harambe. I miss the sweet Harambe. Playing with kids Harambe. I gotta say at that time I'd like to meet Harambe. See I invented Harambe. It wasnt any Harambes. And now i look and look around and there's no more Harambes.
twitch chat
September 2016

Classic

Harambe

Kripp gets in trouble exploiting Noz and jousting

twitchquotes: (·̿Ĺ̯·̿ ̿)" Kripp, This is Officer Dongerino of the Blizzard PD. We need to question you about your Noz deck and jousting exploit. If any of you copy and paste this, you will be subject to banning from Blizzard games forever. Come with me, Kripp (·̿Ĺ̯·̿ ̿)
twitch chat
September 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

Vegan Propaganda

twitchquotes: KKona Howdy Kripp, my name is Bill and I work in the meat industry. I'm getting pretty sick and tired of all the vegan propaganda you're spreading on this here livestream. You rave about the health benefits of becoming a leaf-muncher, but look at you! You're a pale, scrawny, hallowed-out husk of a man. Hell, you probably can't even lift up a hamburger with those pitiful arms of yours. If you don't stop hating on meat, I'm gonna come by in my truck and force-feed you my "giant sausage!"
twitch chat
July 2016
Kripp

Classic

Ben Shapiro

⣿⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⣤⣀⣀⣠⣤⣤⣷⣦⣤⣤⣤⣤⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣄⠀⠀⢸⣿ ⣷⠀⠀⠈⠨⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⢸⣿ ⣿⡄⠀⠀⣈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⢸⣿ ⣿⡇⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⢸⣿ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠿⡿⢀⡀⠀⣔⣿ ⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠛⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠋⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⡇⢠⣾⣿ ⣇⠇⠀⣠⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⡀⢸⣿⣿⣇⣀⣀⢠⣀⢀⠀⠀⣀⣠⣶⡇⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⡄⠀⢸⣿⣶⣤⣀⣀⣠⣽⣿⠁⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣼⣬⣭⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⠀⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣷⡄⠀⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⢬⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠘⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠈⠛⠿⠟⠙⠛⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿⣖⣄⣀⠀⢰⣿⣿⢿⣿⢿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⠸⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⠛⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣄⡀⠈⢈⠙⠛⢟⣋⢁⢁⣠⣤⣼⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⠟⢀⢀⠚⠚⠛⠙⠛⢛⣿⣿⡟⠛⠁⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠨⢿⣷⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠂⠀⠀⢠⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢐⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠯⠿⡹⠛⠟⠉⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⢿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
August 2021

FEELS TEST

twitchquotes: FEELS TEST FeelsBadMan IF YOU TOUCH THE FEELS, YOU'RE DEPRESSED ⎝ FeelsBadMan
twitch chat
August 2017

Chat Test

Text-to-Speech Playing