I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
π HAPPY NEW YEARS SLUTS π
π―hey SlutS! π―π
Now that we got our yearly π FUCK ππΌfrom good ole Saint DICK π
πΎ itβs FINALLY New Years Eve!!!ππΎπ
2οΈβ£0οΈβ£2οΈβ£0οΈβ£ was a LONGG ππ and HARD πβπ»π« year.... we laughedππππΌ We cried π’ππ We coughed π¦π€π€§ we fucked GOODππ» dickπ and π΅π΅BAD π dick, π« BUTT π now letβs ππCelebrate ππ and watch that π¦πBIG π
BALL πππΌ Drop ππ on us! ππ So spread ππ½ those ππ½ legs ππ½ and count down β¬οΈ from π until your man πͺπΎ pops π his CORK πΎπΎ into that thirsty π
thirsty π
hole! π₯°π₯° Send this to 2οΈβ£1οΈβ£ COCK-BEGGING βπ»π WHORES to get BUTTFUCKED ππ± for the next 3οΈβ£6οΈβ£5οΈβ£ days πππ
Emoji Pasta
New Years
Holiday Emoji
NSFW
Holiday
A man orders bat at his favorite restaurant
A man orders bat at his favorite restaurant.
3 years later,
NFLX fucking tanks 20% after earnings.
WallStreetBets
Apple announces an EV program
Oh boy I can't wait until 2024 when I can wake up to my Apple Homepod Siri alarm and check my Apple Watch for notifications and take a shower in my Apple Big Douche then put my makeup on before work in my Apple Mirror then take my Apple Car to my job at Apple Phone Plant #584 so I can work on my Mac Pro workstation designing the latest Apple Product the iShit smart toilet that syncs with your iAsshole to sense when you have a massive log brewing in my large intestine and sends me a notification to my apple colonoscopy bag. Russian hackers will know what I had for dinner.
WallStreetBets
Press CTRL + W to prove you are not a bot
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twitch chat
Kripp and the Hardcore Police
twitchquotes:
ΰΌΌ βΜΏΜΏΔΉΜ―ΜΏΜΏβΜΏ ΜΏ ΰΌ½ Kripp, this is the hardcore police, it has come to our attention that you RIP in peace above the allowed average hardcore limit. We are here to inform you that your channel prefix must be changed into cl (casual-life) as a repercussion to better represent your current lifestyle. This will be the last warning. ΰΌΌ βΜΏΜΏΔΉΜ―ΜΏΜΏβΜΏ ΜΏ ΰΌ½ α΄
twitch chat
Kripp