[Copypasta] I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times.

I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
August 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Heaven is the highest you can get

twitchquotes: It's 4️⃣2️⃣0️⃣today😳😱but I'm not smoking weed 🌿🍁😴😏🚬I'm smoking💨😜the Bible😇😋🙏🏼📕because heaven⬆️😍👐🏼😂is the highest you can get🙌🏼😤
twitch chat
April 2017

LS, aka "Life Support"

twitchquotes: LS, aka "Life Support", is a dying streamer for CLG and a commentator for the LCK that is often ridiculed for playing the same 5 songs every stream and questionable tft game knowledge. He is specifically known for his varus one trick pony in low gold korean tft solo-queue.
twitch chat
July 2019
imls

League of Legends

Hello Kripp, I am Pappargoth the Ancient

twitchquotes: ╭(◕◕ ◉෴◉ ◕◕)╮ Hello Kripp, I am Pappargoth the Ancient, an Alien from the Planet Hardcore. We sent you to Earth, where your hardcore-ness would conquer the planet. We see you have failed in the mission and become casual.
twitch chat
May 2015
Kripp

Do you have I even?

twitchquotes: You know how I can be found at a time when you are get to the day before my eyes and I love it so hard for you and you are so a good time waster but it was not the best same as a whole new bunch if it is the only way I am a little more of time
twitch chat
December 2014
Forsen

I sexually Identify as a snow chugger

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as a snow chugger. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of chuggering over the plains of Azeroth freezing disgusting hunters. People say to me that a person being a snowchugger is Impossible and I m fuсking retarded but I don t care, I m beautiful. I m having a mech warper install snow plows, salt shakers and whirling blades on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Choo Choo" and respect my right to chugga chugga and freeze needlessly. If you can t accept me you re a mechaphobe and need to check your topdeck privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
twitch chat
September 2017

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing