[Copypasta] I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times.

I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
August 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

This ๐Ÿ‘ˆ๐Ÿ‘‰ is money snek

twitchquotes: This ๐Ÿ‘ˆ๐Ÿ‘‰ is money snek. ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ’ฐ๐Ÿ’ฐ Upsnek โฌ†โฌ†๐Ÿ”œ๐Ÿ”œ in 7.123 7โƒฃ 1โƒฃ2โƒฃ3โƒฃ snekonds ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ or you โœ‹โœ‹ will NEVER โŒโŒโŒโŒ get monies ๐Ÿ’ฐ๐Ÿ’ฐ again Beware!! โœ‹โœ‹โŒโŒYou๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ don't โŒโŒ have much time!!๐Ÿ•›๐Ÿ•ง๐Ÿ•๐Ÿ•œ๐Ÿ•‘๐Ÿ•๐Ÿ• You ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ may never โŒโŒget monies ๐Ÿ’ฐ๐Ÿ’ฐ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ’ฐ๐Ÿ’ฐ again!!
twitch chat
April 2019

Emoji Pasta

I was worried all the copium mines had run dry

twitchquotes: I was worried all the copium mines had run dry, that our reckless over-mining of such a precious resource had rendered it lost to time. But here comes our lord and savior [insert streamer here], who has managed to make this once limited resource renewable. Thank you sir. Our children will build statues to honor your ingenuity.
twitch chat
October 2021

Doublelift isn't so great? Are you kidding me?

twitchquotes: Doublelift isn't so great? Are you kidding me? When was the last time you saw a player with such an ability and movement with Vayne? Doublelift puts the game on another level, and we will be blessed if we ever see a player with his skill and passion for the game again. Faker breaks records. Sneaky breaks records. Doublelift breaks the rules. You can keep your statistics. I prefer the magic. And his haircut.
twitch chat
December 2016
Doublelift

Classic

League of Legends

TSM aka "Terminal Six, Mates"

twitchquotes: TSM aka "Terminal Six, Mates" are the #1 NA team to speedrun airport any %. Their unique team name reflects the terminal their early flight departs from at Beijing International Airport after humiliating losses in Worlds, which helped them secure the world record pace for 2020 airport run.
twitch chat
October 2020
Riot Games

League of Legends

Lord Voldemort has infiltrated the Dignitas house

twitchquotes: Michael, this is Dumbledore, Lord Voldemort has infiltrated the Dignitas house and killed Scarra. The legend says the one that carrys the mark of the donger on his forehead is destined to stop the dark lord. Please Michael avenge Scarra!
twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie
Text-to-Speech Playing