[Copypasta] I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times.

I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
August 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Hey Kripp, it's your dog, Dex!

twitchquotes: OhMyDog Hey Kripp, it's your dog, Dex! I just wanted to let you know that some more of my fur fell out today. Maybe it's that "vegan" diet you've been putting me on? Anyways, I love you, and wish you would stop playing that card game all the time and talk to me and Rania sometimes. Sorry, that's a lot to ask, I know you need money to buy us more "kale" or whatever. Anyways, good luck on your "Heart Stone"! OhMyDog
twitch chat
June 2016
Kripp

NA, aka "Not Advancing"

twitchquotes: NA, aka "Not Advancing" is a region known for their brief yearly appearance in the group stage of worlds, where they manage to disappoint despite having zero expectations
twitch chat
October 2019
Riot Games

League of Legends

EU vs NA

Anime girl

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–β–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–β–€β–β–€β–β–ˆβ–Œβ–€β–Œβ–β–€β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–„β–€β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–„β–’β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–Œβ–Œβ–‘β–β–“β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–“β–Œβ–’β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–’β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–Œβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–‘β–β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–Œ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–Œ
November 2014

Weebs

Weather forecast for today, lots of salt

twitchquotes: γƒ½ο½€γƒ½ο½€γ€γƒ½γƒ½ο½€γƒ½ο½€γ€γƒ½γƒ½ο½€γƒ½ο½€γ€γƒ½γƒ½ο½€γƒ½ο½€γ€γƒ½γƒ½ΰΌΌΰΊˆ Ω„ΝœΰΊˆΰΌ½οΎ‰β˜‚ ʷᡉᡃᡗʰᡉʳ αΆ α΅’Κ³α΅‰αΆœα΅ƒΛ’α΅— αΆ α΅’Κ³ α΅—α΅’α΅ˆα΅ƒΚΈ - Λ‘α΅’α΅—Λ’ α΅’αΆ  ˒ᡃˑᡗ γƒ½ΰΌΌΰΊˆΩ„ΝœΰΊˆΰΌ½οΎ‰β˜‚ ヽ`ヽ`、ヽヽ`ヽ`、`ヽ`、ヽヽ`
twitch chat
January 2019

salty

First of all, I'm sick of the term "Weeb"

twitchquotes: First of all, I'm sick of the term "Weeb". I didn't study half a semester of Japanese history and do a google maps tour of Tokyo so that some uncultured swine would walk around calling me a weeb like its an insult. Japanese culture is my life, not some sort of past time you idiots. And yes, I will be visiting Japan for the first time next year when air travel costs go down.
twitch chat
June 2019

Weebs

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