[Copypasta] I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times.

I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
August 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Leper gnome into the Twisted Nether

twitchquotes: "Yᴏᴜʀ ᴅᴇᴄᴋ ɪs ᴄʀᴀᴢʏ.” Fᴏʀsᴇɴ sᴀɪᴅ, ᴀs ʜᴇ sʟɪᴘᴘᴇᴅ ʜɪs ғᴇᴍɪɴɪɴᴇ ʜᴀɴᴅ ɪɴᴛᴏ Tʀᴜᴍᴘs’s ᴘᴀɴᴛs ᴀɴᴅ sᴍɪʀᴋᴇᴅ. “Aʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛʀʏɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴛᴏᴘ-ᴅᴇᴄᴋ ᴍᴇ?” ᴘʀᴏᴛᴇsᴛs Tʀᴜᴍᴘ, ᴀs Fᴏʀsᴇɴ ʙʟᴜsʜᴇs, ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴏʏɪsʜ ғɪɢᴜʀᴇ ᴜɴᴅʀᴇssᴇᴅ ʙᴇғᴏʀᴇ Tʀᴜᴍᴘ. “Wᴇᴀᴋ ᴛᴇᴍᴘᴏ ᴘʟᴀʏ, Fᴏʀsᴇɴ.” Tʜᴇ ᴛᴡᴏ ᴋɪssᴇᴅ, ᴅᴇᴇᴘʟʏ ᴀɴᴅ ᴘᴀssɪᴏɴᴀᴛᴇʟʏ, ᴀɴᴅ ᴀғᴛᴇʀᴡᴀʀᴅs Fᴏʀsᴇɴ ᴘʟᴀᴄᴇs ʜɪs ʟᴇᴘᴇʀ ɢɴᴏᴍᴇ ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴛʀᴜᴍᴘs's ᴛᴡɪsᴛᴇᴅ ɴᴇᴛʜᴇʀ
twitch chat
November 2014
Forsen

How do you unlock the coin card?

twitchquotes: Dear Forsen I'm trying to copy your godly Deck but I'm having a hard time finding the card "The Coin." If you could specify how I unlock this card it would be much appreciated. Please no copy pasterino
twitch chat
January 2015
Forsen

Hearthstone

Velen's chosen Prophet Velen

twitchquotes: deIlluminati when you velen's chosen prophet velen he becomes a 9/11, coincidence? deIlluminati
twitch chat
April 2015
Reynad

Hearthstone

ima firin mah lazer

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣯⣽⣿⣯⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣭⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⢻⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⡿⠛⠊⠉⠛⢿⣿⣼⣼⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⠏⢁⠈⠉⠉⠁⢀⣠⣀⡀⠀⠱⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⢸⢷⣶⣤⣶⠹⢇⣻⠏⠶⣄⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠛⠂⠐⠁⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣉⣦⠘⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠛⢁⣀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣍⠻⣿⣷⣷⣧⠘⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠛⠋⠉⢩⣥⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⢸⣿⡿⠿⣧⠸⣿ ⠋⣀⣤⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠘⠁⠀⠀⢀⡄⢹ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠅⠀⠀⠀⣾⠿⠀⣼ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣻⡫⠀⣸⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⢻⠿⠋⣀⠴⣥⣀⣠⣤⣄⣴⣷⠭⠀⣠⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢻⡿⠛⠉⣁⣠⠀⣠⣴⣿⡏⠐⢻⡻⣸⢯⣿⡽⠋⠀⣠⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠟⠛⡉⠀⢀⣠⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣶⣾⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
November 2020

Clap

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡠⣄⡀⠀⠀⡠⠞⠛⢦⣠⢤⡀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⢠⠏⠀⠀⢱⡀⣸⠁⠀⡴⠋⠀⠀⣹⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡴⠋⠉⢿⢀⡤⠶⣴⠇⣯⠀⣼⠁⠀⢀⡴⠷⣄ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠞⠁⠀⣀⡾⠋⠀⠀⢹⣼⠁⢠⡇⠀⡴⠋⠀⠀⡼ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠊⠑⢦⠀⡴⠋⢀⣠⠞⠉⠀⠀⠀⣠⣿⠧⣄⡾⠁⡼⠁⣀⣤⠾⡁ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⣨⠟⠁⢠⡞⠁⠀⠀⠀⣠⡾⠛⠁⠀⣿⠃⣰⠃⣴⠋⠀⠀⣷ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⢠⠞⠁⠀⢠⠏⠀⠀⢀⡴⠋⠁⠀⢀⣠⡴⠿⣶⡇⢰⠇⠀⠀⢠⠇ ⠀⠀⠀⢠⢿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠉⠀⠀⣠⠞⠁⠀⡴⠚⠉⠁⠀⢀⡟⠀⣼⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⡾⣼⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠀⣠⠞⠁⠀⠀⢀⡴⠋⠙⢼⠃⠀⠀⠀⣸⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⡇⠉⡎⠀⣰⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⡼⠉⠀⠀⠀⠘⠂⠀⠀⣠⠇⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⡇⢸⠀⣰⠃⠀⡴⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠞⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠖⠁⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢸⠁⡏⢠⠃⢀⠞⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⠖⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⡞⠀⠃⡎⢀⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡏⠀⣀⡤⠴⠚⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡴⢺⠇⠀⠀⠀⠞⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡾⠒⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡇⠘⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠞⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢳⡀⠘⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡰⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠳⣄⠀⠙⠲⣤⣀⣠⠴⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠈⠓⠦⣄⣀⡠⠎⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
September 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing