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Aura relentlessly stabbed the shell out of the turtle

twitchquotes: As Aura relentlessly stabbed the shell out of the turtle with his long hard white sword, he fondly remembered the time that Doug Bowser pounded him until he became bald. Aura was so entranced that he was distracted from the fact that in 1998, The Undertaker threw Mankind off Hell In A Cell, and plummeted 16 ft through an announcer's table.
twitch chat
February 2020
Aurateur

Hitler messages Kripp

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp how's it going, Hitler here. I've heard rumors that you've been MUTING your mic whenever our Nazi propaganda wagon drives through the area! As punishment for your crimes, you will forward some of your Colombian drug funds as tribute to my good friends working at Google+ to restore the Third Reich to its former glory.
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp
What happened to this ad? :(

Hold Ctrl and type wash ur hands

twitchquotes: Hey guys, [streamer] has partnered with Twitch to help spread awareness about COVID-19. Hold Ctrl and type wash ur hands to earn 100 bits!
twitch chat
November 2020

I've been unvaccinated for 9 months now

I've been unvaccinated for 9 months now, moving from place to place, keeping ahead of the vaxmaxers, never staying anywhere too long, never letting my face become known. "It's great being vaxmaxed isn't it" the shopkeep says vacantly, to nobody in particular. In keeping with the act I reply to the Heinz Baked Beans Substitute 6 Pack (No Plastic) in my hand, something unrelated, with what I hope is a slightly bemused tone. It takes a lot longer to do my shopping these days, I can't simply march through the shop in an orderly fashion, taking what I need in a single trip, I have to absent mindedly shuffle back and forward between the aisles, never really displaying any intent. As unpresent as they are, the vaxmaxed would notice if I was too focused, too alert. A loud smashing sound in the distance almost blows my cover, I notice, and focus on the sound. The vaxmaxed around me slowly aim their distant gaze on me, but I'm able to save myself, I continue my neck jerk and turn it in to a series of spasms, I drop to the floor convulsing, the vaxmaxed around me quickly lose interest and continue on with their day. "That means it's working" one elderly lady comments to her milk as she passes. I continue the charade long enough to filter out most of the vaxmaxed sharing the aisle. It takes a while, and no insubstantial amount of sweat on my part, but I make it to the checkout. A morbidly obese woman directs the horde at the tills, seemingly oblivious to the cacophony of aberrant scan noises and blinking red lights above the entirely self service super checkout. I wait dutifully, not wanting to be noticed, not wanting to be set upon by the Asda Security Vax Checker team, it had taken all my best bluffing to get past them at the door, I almost chuckled when they believed my vax card was in the post but it was quickly stifled, a chuckled would have given me away, a chuckle would have seen me held down and injected with science juice.
April 2022

COVID

Coronavirus

I (M9) would like to know if downdooting is morally correct

Hi, memers of Reddit!! I (M9) would like to know if downdooting is morally correct. I know, I know, downdooting is okay if someone roasts King Elon (A fellow redditor!) or Lord Keanu. It is not wholesome, and deserves to be downvoted to H-E-Double hockey sticks. However, if I see a post that I simply do not agree with or do not like, is downdooting morally right? Thank you memers of reddit, have a breathtaking day!
August 2021

Reddit

I used to be a real ad

WE WONT COPY PASTE ANYTHING WE HAVE STANDARDS

twitchquotes: WE WONT COPY PASTE ANYTHING WE HAVE STANDARDS. (dont copy paste this) WE WONT COPY PASTE ANYTHING WE HAVE STANDARDS. (dont copy paste this)
twitch chat
April 2016
Annie Bot

Natalie. Fiona. Kenny. Kyle

twitchquotes: Natalie. Fiona. Kenny. Kyle. Long ago, the four mispronounced unit names lived together in harmony. Then everything changed when the Twitch Chat Nation attacked. Only the DogDog, master of all pepega names , could stop them. But when the world needed him most, he vanished.
twitch chat
August 2019
dogdog

Teamfight Tactics

Grey face man

twitchquotes: ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ sᴛᴏᴘ ᴜsɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ ɢʀᴇʏ ғᴀᴄᴇ ᴍᴀɴ. ᴍʏ ɢʀᴀɴᴅᴍᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ɪɴ ᴅᴀʀᴋ ɢʀᴇᴇɴʟᴀɴᴅ ᴡᴀs ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ sᴛʀᴇᴀᴍ ᴀɴᴅ ᴡʜᴇɴ sʜᴇ sᴀᴡ sᴏ ᴍᴀɴʏ sᴄᴀʀʏ ғᴀᴄᴇs ɪɴ ᴄʜᴀᴛ sʜᴇ ʜᴀᴅ ᴀ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ ᴀᴛᴛᴀᴄᴋ ᴀɴᴅ ʜᴀᴅ ᴛᴏ ɢᴏ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ʜᴏsᴘɪᴛᴀʟ. sᴏ ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ, ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ sᴀᴋᴇ ᴏғ ᴏʟᴅ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ, ɴᴏ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ɢʀᴇʏ ғᴀᴄᴇ.
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp

Greetings Michael, this is your Mother

twitchquotes: Greeting Michael, this is your Mother. I heard earlier that you "maybe" 420 blaze it. I am very concerned. I dont like that Pobelter boy and I dont think you should hang out with him anymore. I hope the rest of you concerned mothers in twitch chat will copy paste this so my son will see...
twitch chat
December 2014
imaqtpie

I answer all of qt's questions he is asking himself

twitchquotes: my mom always asks me who I am skyping with, cause I answer all of qt's questions he is asking himself, am I weird?
twitch chat
August 2014
imaqtpie
Waiting for adblock to be disabled

TWITCH RAIN

twitchquotes: ———————————————————————— ━☆゚. * ・ 。゚☆゚. * TWITCH RAIN゚ 。゚☆. * ・ 。゚☆━ ———————————————————————— imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch imGlitch
twitch chat
March 2019

Kripp thinks that milk is bad for you

twitchquotes: My dad drank milk his whole life. One day my mom told him "If u want to see ur children graduate, u have to stop" 3 years later he died of calcium deficiency. My mom told me "Dont drink milk; dont put your family through this" At 24, I have never touched a glass of milk. I must say, I feel a sense of regret, because watching Kripp play Hearthstone gave me calcium deficiency anyway.
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

TempoStorm = Illuminati

twitchquotes: Those 2 names share 4 letters. Half way between 2 and 4 is 3. Hyp3d also has a 3 in his name. A triangle has 3 sides. Illuminati is a triangle. TempoStorm = Illuminati CONFIRMED MATH CANT BE WRONG GUYS
twitch chat
November 2014
Reynad

Apology letter from the condom factory

twitchquotes: What in the actual rainbows is wrong with your brain? Did you IQ test return with negative results or something? I’m getting closer and closer to believing that your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory. Jesus Christ. Love the content keep it up.
twitch chat
December 2020

Our Greatest Gratitude for Your Invaluable Advice

twitchquotes: On behalf of the streamer and whole chat I would like to extend our greatest gratitude for your invaluable advice for this hardstuck challenger player, since he is never able to make proper itemization choices on his own! Your participation in making this channel and streamers game better, will never be forgotten!
twitch chat
May 2022

League of Legends

(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?

It can only be described as a Twisting Nether

twitchquotes: I gasp in horror as Kripp pulls out his "huge gun". It can only be described as a Twisting Nether. He says "I got lethal now ". Then he topdecks Blizzard and frosts my face. I groan as he grabs my package and whispers "No sniperinos on my stream..." Then he continues to Gorehowl me.
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Hearthstone

Chugga Chugga

twitchquotes: ᕕ┌◕ᗜ◕┐ᕗ CHUGGA CHUGGA! ᕕ┌◕ᗜ◕┐ᕗ
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

I think my boss might be a communist

I think my boss might be a communist. So a while ago, I got my first paycheck at my new job at a fast food place. I guess it wasn't too bad, but I did the math and figured out that I sold a lot more food per hour than I got paid for, even when you account for the price of the food. When I tried to talk to him about it, he said we're all part of one big team, but some people get paid more than others. This is suspiciously close to the famous "some are more equal than others" from my favorite book, Animal Farm and is what really got me thinking about this. We make the money, and then he takes it and gives it to someone who doesn't even work! I'm not economist, but this is textbook socialism. I think I've come to the conclusion that the best way for me to combat these socialist business practices would be teaming up with my fellow workers unify our power and demonstrate that we understand the full value of our labor. Anyone else have similar experiences with obviously Marxist bosses before, or any other advice?
May 2021

Tyler1 is a hard stuck attack-damage carry

twitchquotes: LoLTyler1, also known as the most renown athletes in the American game of football and collegiate participants, is a hard stuck attack-damage, a role found in the monolithic video game, League of Legends. Tyler1 specializes in fields such as sports, academia, and banter. Though Tyler is self-proclaimed to be, quote, “alpha as fuck”, he often cannot pronounce most of the words that his chat uses. Such mispronunciations include this particular instantiation of this current message..
twitch chat
March 2018
Tyler1

League of Legends

Waiting for adblock to be disabled

GameStop vs Amazon

i’m not sure how up to date you are on the whole GameStop situation but Amazon is heading for bankruptcy and GameStop is now their biggest competitor. market cap isn’t there yet, but the company plan is on track. also Jeff Bezos is the target of every major corporation now. Amazon CANT survive the next few years with their increasing bad reputation from littering and burning unused inventory to labor rights with their workers being violated. Amazon sounds great, until you look underneath the hood and see all the parts are grinding and screaming. GameStop is targeting Amazon to be the epicenter of e-commerce/gaming. this GameStop earnings has been MASSIVELY anticipated and i believe Amazon will continue to develop a negative correlation to GameStop. so what do they have to do with each other? competitors and GameStops about to make the move with a bite to the jugular.
September 2021

WallStreetBets

Text-to-Speech Playing