[Copypasta] I hate Reddit's new avatars

They look so incomprehensibly fucking STUPID. WHO CAME UP WITH THEM? I liked the old avatars, they were simple and friendly. Now every time, EVERY. SINGLE. FUCKING. TIME. I look at someone's username, I see this ugly little shit, an abomination. Makes me almost fucking VOMIT. THEY LOOK SO DAMN STUPID I'M FUCKING TIRED OF KT. IT LOOKS LIKE AN ALIEN HAD SEX WITH A COCKROACH, THEN WORE SOME UGLY SHIRT AND PANTS. THE REDDIT CREATURE DUDES ARENT SUPPOSED TO BE WEARING THIS STUPID ABOMINABLD SHIT. I HATE it. I want to BURN IT WITH FIRE. Sadly you can't burn JPGs. BUT EVERY TIME I SEE ONE IT MAKES ME WANT TO CRY AT FUCKING SPEZ
September 2021

Reddit

Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Reddit Copypastas

My husband is the moderator for a few different subreddits, and he genuinely thinks itā€™s a job

my husband refuses to look for a job even though I think it would be good for him (And we could use the additional income), but he just says heā€™s, ā€œgot too much on his plate alreadyā€. That being monitoring these stupid subreddits. And Everytime I bring it up he claims what heā€™s doing is unpaid labor similar to that of a homemaker. But he doesnā€™t clean or cook or do any of that the way he used to. He just monitors his stupid subreddits. I donā€™t know what to do. Sometimes I want to leave him because I believe I may not be able to reach him.
November 2021

Reddit

MODS

Does anyone else feels attracted to female avatar profile pictures on reddit?

I donā€™t know why but I kinda get a little turned on when I see them. Thereā€™s something about their design that makes them really adorable and I always try to hold myself back from imagining things about them but I canā€™t help it. They look so tiny and fluffy with a petite body and short height, cute little outfits, a rounded face, big eyes and pretty hair. Like theyā€™re literally so unironically perfect I feel like reddit made them this way on purpose. I grew a habit of direct messaging anyone who have a nice woman avatar and chatting with them because I imagine the person using the account to look the same. Iā€™m not even typing this out to sound like a weirdo i genuinely feel this way and I do hope that Iā€™m not being weird for it. Please tell me thereā€™s someone who feels the same thing
May 2022

Reddit

I just nutted to your comment FAQ (Reddit)

I just nutted to your comment. # FAQ ## What does this mean? The amount of cum (semen) on my phone and Reddit phone has increased by one. ## Why did you do this? There are several reasons I may deem a comment to be worthy of cum. These include, but are not limited to: ā€¢ ā you being a femboy, ā€¢ ā Spreading sti infections, ā€¢ ā Sarcasm correctly flagged with a /s. ## Am I banned from the Reddit? No. But you should make comments like this in the future. Otherwise I will be forced to not cum. ## I don't believe my comment deserved a nut. Can you un-nut to it? Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I undo a nut. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot your nut on me. I tend to respond to Being shot with nut within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of nut appeals are rejected, and yours is likely no exception. ## How can I prevent this from happening in the future? Accept the nut and move on. your behavior will be nutted to on Reddit.com. I will continue to nut until you stop being so hot šŸ˜© Remember: Iā€™m horny uwu
June 2021

Reddit

My boyfriend doesnt know (from r/trueoffmychest)

At the beginning of this month, my boyfriend received an email from his brother with the subject "Dude check this out" and a Google Doc called "!!NEW RAP!!". When my boyfriend opened it, all that was on the doc was a picture of Nikocado Avocadoā€™s asshole. When my boyfriend texted his brother about receiving his email, he replied "what email?". Theyā€™ve been going back and forth since about the email, my boyfriendā€™s brother saying he never sent an email and my boyfriend thinking heā€™s keeping up the act. What my boyfriend doesnā€™t know is I sent the email. I made an almost identical looking email, one letter off, and even managed to find the exact email profile picture from his brotherā€™s LinkedIn. Now it kills me every time I see them go at it. Iā€™m literally pissing myself as I write this.
May 2022

Reddit

We should buy Reddit

We should buy Reddit. Not the stock. The actual company. If we all get together and own 51% then we will own this entire website. We could make the rules, profit from the advertising, and finally get paid for the memes we make. I've even come up with a list of things we could do as new owners: Reddit mods can apply for paid-internships at Reddit. This is much closer to having a real job than what they currently do and would benefit the organization. Your flair is your official title at the company. IE: instead of "CFO" you'll be "PotatoFart" NSFW posts will receive special protections--and if you happen to work in our new skyscraper then NSFW posts are automatically considered SFW. Everyone gets a turn in the corporate jet. Elon becomes a mod. He can also apply to become a paid intern. We have a monthly party on our company yacht: The S.S. VisualMod. Our corporate cafeteria is a dining hall with fast food restaurants along the side--but they're all Wendy's. I think this is a great idea. Keep it high and tight. šŸ‘–šŸš€šŸ‘–šŸš€šŸ‘–šŸš€
December 2021

WallStreetBets

Reddit

Text-to-Speech Playing