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In Twitch Chat they don't say I love you

twitchquotes: In Twitch Chat they don't say "I love you", instead they say "OMEGALUL" which translates to "I watch you to not laugh with you, but at you" and I think that's really beautiful.
twitch chat
February 2019

Here's the thing. You said a "wyvern is a dragon."

Here's the thing. You said a "wyvern is a dragon." Is it in the same family? Yes. No one's arguing that. As someone who is a 1k MMR feeder who studies dragons, I am telling you, specifically, in dota, no one calls wyverns dragons. If you want to be "specific" like you said, then you shouldn't either. They're not the same thing. If you're saying "dragon family" you're referring to the taxonomic grouping of Varanidae, which includes things from wyverns to eldwurms to drakes. So your reasoning for calling a wyvern a dragon is because random people "call the flying lizards dragons?" Let's get gyarados and charizards in there, then, too. Also, calling someone a noob or a feeder? It's not one or the other, that's not how taxonomy works. They're both. A wyvern is a wyvern and a member of the dragon family. But that's not what you said. You said a wyvern is a dragon, which is not true unless you're okay with calling all members of the dragon family dragons, which means you'd call eldwurms, drakes, and other flying lizards dragons, too. Which you said you don't. It's okay to just admit you're wrong, you know?
January 2021
I used to be a real ad

If Mr. Beast was in charge of Squid Game.

Today I took 456 of the most poor and destitute people of Korea ( who are also of my subscribers ) and challenged them to a series of 6 EPIC kids games and the prize is 45.6 billion won. What they don't know is if they lose they die. If you end up liking the video please smash like. But first I have to talk about this episodes sponsor Honey. Honey is a free browser add on available on Google, Opera, Firefox, Safari, if it’s a browser it has Honey. Honey automatically saves you money when you checkout on sites Like Amazon. Papa John's. Kohl's. Wherever you shop it's a good chance that honey can save you money. All you have to do when you're checking out at these major sites click that little orange button and it will scan the entire internet And find discount codes for you. It takes two clicks to install Honey. Now anytime you checkout honey will scan the entire internet and find coupon codes for you. If there is a coupon code they will find it, and if there’s not a coupon code you can rest assured that you are getting the best price possible and there literally is not one available on the internet. If you install Honey right now you can save like 50 to 100 dollars on your Christmas shopping, doing nothing. There’s literally no reason not to install Honey, it takes two clicks, 10 million people use it, 100,000 5 star reviews, unless you hate money you should install Honey. If you want to install it just go to joinhoney.com/mrbeast, that’s joinhoney.com/mrbeast Now with that out of the way, ON WITH THE VIDEO Ok so we just brought them in and put them in their beds and this is insane. We literally have more than 450 here and we're going to see than play some games, for a bunch of money. Remember that every single person here is also a subscriber, on top of being financially destitute. So if you want a chance to receive tons and tons of money, make sure you hit the subscribe button down below as you can get a chance to play for money. Ok boys, its time to wake them up. I want Chris, Karl, Chandler, Nolan and Tareq to go down there and tell them the rules of the game. Here take these pink jumpsuits masks and these guns and go explain the situation to the subscribers. Ok so while the boys are going down I'm going to show you guys the first game our contestants are going to be playing.
October 2021

Squid Game

Homo Sapiens

twitchquotes: When I was 12 yrs old, a male friend asked me if I was Homosexual or Heterosexual. I didn't know what either meant, but I did know we were called Homo Sapiens. So I said I was Homosexual. He laughed at me. He then explained the difference and then I said I must be heterosexual because I had sex with his mom.
twitch chat
July 2018

MALDHAWK

twitchquotes: Late last year, we were on an expedition to find the rarest hairstyle of them all.. the "MALDHAWK" A combination of MALD and a hawk nest, it combines the fluidity of middle aged male pattern baldness to a contrast of dead rats. Much to our chagrin, we found it April 13th, 2020, on a morose Canadian gypsy's stream. He had over 10k viewers at the time of writing this
twitch chat
April 2020
Kripp
I used to be a real ad

I think about Kripp when I touch my wiener

twitchquotes: ヽ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ノ Roses are red, Weed is greener, I think about Kripp, when I touch my wiener. ヽ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ノ
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp

Bowsette copypasta

twitch chat
October 2018

ME NAIR ME NO CARE

twitchquotes: ME IKE ResidentSleeper ME NAIR ResidentSleeper YOU WANT FUN ResidentSleeper ME NO CARE ResidentSleeper
twitch chat
February 2019
VGBootCamp

Super Smash Bros

Moonmoon can’t beat a box of oatmeal

twitchquotes: This is fucking sad honestly. This man has been playing this game for hours on end , trying to memorize each and every attack and move. He has died over 1000 times to a box of oatmeal and hasn’t even gotten close to beating it. He comes up with an excuse for every death his chatroom watching him is even trying to give him energy “ GivePLZ TAKE ME ENERGYTakeNRG “ and give him tips which he ignores.Yet he still can’t beat a box of oatmeal how pathetic.
twitch chat
September 2017
MOONMOON

I'm not your typical 12 year old

twitchquotes: I'm twelve but everyone says I am very mature for my age and say I'm basically 16. Also, I love real bands like AC/DC and punk rock like green day so I'm not your typical 12 year old.
twitch chat
December 2018
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Copypastas reduce the human experience

twitchquotes: Copypastas are reducing the human experience to generic responses to certain things occurring inside the game. Doesn't people feel the need to express themselves with some level of originality?
twitch chat
September 2019

Why is my BLACK friend so racist?

So I was playing chess with my BLACK friend the other day and something rather curious happened. As we were about to start playing he asked, “Could I play as white this time?” Why is my BLACK friend being so racist????? Clearly your color doesn’t matter and as privileged white man myself I could not bear listening to these words!!!!!! Black? White? It’s all the same guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
September 2021

Chess

Rift Scuttler of fortune

twitchquotes: °ヽ༼ 益°ヽ ༽,, You've been visited by Rift Scuttler of fortune. Tingle your antennae and copy paste this message 5 times without getting banned by mods and luck be with you for the next year °ヽ༼ 益°ヽ ༽,,
twitch chat
February 2015
Bjergsen

Dongerino type 3X400

twitchquotes: └|°ε°|┐ I am dongerino type 3X400, from the year 2190 ┌|°з°|┘
twitch chat
January 2015
Forsen

Tyler1 is an absolute fucking legend and genius

twitchquotes: Tyler1 is an absolute fucking legend and genius. We have never before had the ability to step inside the mind of these great ADC players - thanks to streaming and his willingness to commentate what he is thinking, we now have a glimpse into how much deeper they are thinking about the game than the rest of us. What a time to be alive!
twitch chat
February 2019
Tyler1

League of Legends

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Hello this is Dan from the next room over

twitchquotes: Hello this is Dan from the next room over. Can you be quiet for 2 minutes it's almost 2am and I can still hear you. I have had a hard day doing REAL work for 13 hours and all I want is a bit of peace and quiet. LOL just kidding it's Tanner from highschool again, enjoy playing your kids games while I'm hanging out with Becca. We're watching re-runs of that time you lost that video game tournament. Peace out!
twitch chat
June 2019

Tanner from High School

Instagram Black Squares

twitchquotes: My fellow Americans, due to the overwhelming amount of Black squares teenage girls are posting on Instagram, the supreme court has decided end racism completely. We did not think you would go to such extreme measures but you have very much proved your point. The Military will be told to stand down just please stop. Thank you
twitch chat
June 2020

Response to somebody correcting a grammar mistake

Give it up folks, einstein over here has something to say. What's that buddy? Wha- A grammatical error?!? WHAT?!? B... Bu... That can't be possible! Surely not! A GRAMMAR MISTAKE? IN MY SIGHT?!? What a great, absolute miracle that you and your 257 IQ Brain was here to correct it! Thank you! Have my grattitude, Actually, What's your cashapp? I'd like to give you 20$... Know what? While we're at it have the keys to my car. Actually, no, scratch that. Have the keys to my house, go watch my kids grow up and fuck my wife. Also, my Paypal username and password is: Ilikesmartazzes4 and 968386329. Go have fun. Thank you for your work.
May 2021

Wife wants to leave me because of an NFT diamond ring

My wife loves new technology and is into cryptocurrency and so I thought it would be thoughtful to buy her a diamond ring as a NFT. I spent about 3 ETH which is like $12000 CAD. So when she got home from work I told her I had a surprise for her. I put a blindfold on my wife and guided her into our room where our computer is set up. Soon as she opened her eyes and saw what it was, she absolutely exploded with rage saying I was an asshole and was only thinking about myself. She then accused me of spending money on stupid thing and said she’s going to go find a boyfriend. I don’t know what to do in this situation. I was only thinking about HER interests and how happy she would be to receive this new technology. Plus the price of her ring will only appreciate. Stupid real diamonds only depreciate. We have now signed up for NFT relationship counselling. I have been seeking relationship advice but everyone says to buy her NFT flowers or NFT chocolates. And when I did that, that was the last straw. Wife sent me divorce papers and I converted it into NFT. I know in the long run when all these NFT’s moon. She will come crawling back.
February 2022
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Masturbation Notice from school

MASTURBATION NOTICE It has come to our attention that students have been masturbating in the school bathrooms. Masturbating on school property is ILLEGAL and against school district policy The bathroom pipes are NOT designed to handle human discharge or anything other than your regular bathroom duties The excessive amounts of discharge build-up has caused a blockage in the pipes. Multiple pipes have become close to bursting due to the amount of excessive semen build-up. This will cost THOUSANDS of dollars coming from our funds to repair the damage caused by this Please masturbate in your own homes and at your own disposal If any discharge is discovered in the bathroom, it will be collected and analyzed to determine who it belongs to. If it is discovered that the discharge is yours, YOU will be fine $ 1,000 and be reported to proper authorities Thank you for your cooperation
March 2022
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