[Copypasta] Homo Sapiens

twitchquotes: When I was 12 yrs old, a male friend asked me if I was Homosexual or Heterosexual. I didn't know what either meant, but I did know we were called Homo Sapiens. So I said I was Homosexual. He laughed at me. He then explained the difference and then I said I must be heterosexual because I had sex with his mom.
twitch chat
July 2018
What happened to this ad? :(
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Head automatically goes to pillow

twitchquotes: Ｗｈｅｎ Heroes of Storm， ｍｙ ｈｅａｄ ａｕｔｏｍａｔｉｃａｌｌｙ ｇｏｅｓ ｔｏ ｔｈｅ ｐｉｌｌｏｗ． Ｉ ｗａｔｃｈ ｈｉｍ ｓｐａｍ ２ ｓｋｉｌｌｓ ｗｉｔｈ ｎｏ ｇｒａｐｈｉｃｓ ａｎｄ Ｉ ｆｅｅｌ Ｉ ｈａｖｅ ｓｅｘ ｗｉｔｈ ｔｈｅ ｐｉｌｌｏｗ． Ａｌｌ ｂｅｃｏｍｉｎｇ ＳＬＥＥＰ
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

xqcLook emote

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣤⡤⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⠖⠉⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⢿⣶⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠛⠛⠻⠿⠿⢿⠇⠀⢰⣿⣿⣍⣀⣤⣤⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀ ⣾⣿⣿⣿⣄⣠⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣀⡄⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠁⠀⠈⠉⠉⢁⣄⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣠⣼⠁⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⣿⡄⠀⠘⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣡⣦⣶⣄⠀⠈⠉⠛⠛⠻⠛⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡻⣻⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣄⣀⣤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⠄⢀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣷ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠏⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠈⠉⠉⠛⢻⣿⡉⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠟⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠙⠿⣿⣿⠿⠋ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣷⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣷⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀
ascii art
April 2021
xQcOW

Lucentbark summon quote

twitchquotes: 🌳 THIS 🌲 IS 🌴 NOT 🎄 YOUR 🌲 HOME 🌳 INVADER 🌲
twitch chat
May 2019

Hearthstone

Sleeping naked is a power move anyways

Sleeping naked is a power move anyways. • ⁠Burglar breaks in boom I’m up and naked. He’s too distracted trying to determine if I’m a man or woman because of my massive bush to notice me reaching for my glock fawty. ⁠• ⁠When I pee or poop in my sleep from the nightmares I don’t get any clothes dirty just the sheets. • ⁠Save money on not having to run an AC in the summer time so I can buy my wife more lingerie for her boyfriend to appreciate.
August 2021

Popsicle burglaries

twitchquotes: Local police are baffled by a string of strange popsicle burglaries that have taken place over the past few days. The thief appears to be ignoring cash, jewelry, and other valuables, only taking sugary treats from the residents' freezers. Police have yet to apprehend the burglar, but have several reports of a suspicious lanky figure with poor hygiene seen near the crime scenes muttering about "value." Any further information on the popsicle bandit should be reported immediately.
twitch chat
August 2016
Kripp
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