[Copypasta] Homo Sapiens

twitchquotes: When I was 12 yrs old, a male friend asked me if I was Homosexual or Heterosexual. I didn't know what either meant, but I did know we were called Homo Sapiens. So I said I was Homosexual. He laughed at me. He then explained the difference and then I said I must be heterosexual because I had sex with his mom.
twitch chat
July 2018
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

I just spotted an inconsistency

twitchquotes: Wait a minute. I just spotted an inconsistency. Could this be the work of the CIA? Look closely... below the stream. "10,000 viewers". What the heck? There's only 7 million people in the world, how could there possibly be 10 million viewers right now?
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Sneaky goes to town

twitchquotes: It was a hot and sultry night at the c9 gaming house. everyone was in bed except for meteos and sneaky. "we can't keep doing this, baby" says sneaky. "put that mouth to use, you dirty tramp" replies meteos. "LCS starts tmrw, and if you expect me to carry you again, i need to you to suck me to completion." sneaky grins sl*ttily, and goes to town
twitch chat
January 2015
Sneaky

League of Legends

I hate gaming laptops

Today when I walked into my economics class I saw something I dread every time I close my eyes. Someone had brought their new gaming laptop to class. The Forklift he used to bring it was still running idle at the back. I started sweating as I sat down and gazed over at the 700lb beast that was his laptop. He had already reinforced his desk with steel support beams and was in the process of finding an outlet for a power cable thicker than Amy Schumer's thigh. I start shaking. I keep telling myself I'm going to be alright and that there's nothing to worry about. He somehow finds a fucking outlet. Tears are running down my cheeks as I send my last texts to my family saying I love them. The teacher starts the lecture, and the student turns his laptop on. The colored lights on his RGB Backlit keyboard flare to life like a nuclear flash, and a deep humming fills my ears and shakes my very soul. The entire city power grid goes dark. The classroom begins to shake as the massive fans begin to spin. In mere seconds my world has gone from vibrant life, to a dark, earth shattering void where my body is getting torn apart by the 150mph gale force winds and the 500 decibel groan of the cooling fans. As my body finally surrenders, I weep, as my school and my city go under. I fucking hate gaming laptops.
December 2020

Kripp BM pyroblasted the wrong guy

twitchquotes: Dear Kripp, you bmed me in a card heart game, punk. Bet you thought I had forgotten, but jokes on you I'm a military trained navy ranger. I can kill a man 10 times before he even realizes. I'm right now backtracing your house address and will be there soon. You bm pyroblasted the wrong guy punk, your dead
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp

100 Thieves Team visited an LA orphanage

twitchquotes: In their upcoming heist, The 100 Thieves Team visited an orphanage in LA. "It's heartbreaking to see their sad little faces with no hope", said Charlie, age 6.
twitch chat
March 2019
Riot Games

League of Legends

More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing