[Copypasta] Homo Sapiens

twitchquotes: When I was 12 yrs old, a male friend asked me if I was Homosexual or Heterosexual. I didn't know what either meant, but I did know we were called Homo Sapiens. So I said I was Homosexual. He laughed at me. He then explained the difference and then I said I must be heterosexual because I had sex with his mom.
twitch chat
July 2018
I used to be a real ad
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Eddy Pasterino and YouPorn wants to sponsor Reynad

twitchquotes: Wᴇʟʟ Mᴇᴛ ʀᴇʏɴᴀᴅ! ɪᴛ ɪs ғᴀᴍᴏᴜs ᴘᴏʀɴ ᴅɪʀᴇᴄᴛᴏʀ ᴇᴅᴅʏ ᴘᴀsᴛᴇʀɪɴᴏ. ᴍʏ ᴄᴏᴍᴘᴀɴʏ (ʏᴏᴜᴘᴏʀɴ) ᴡᴀɴᴛs ᴛᴏ sᴘᴏɴsᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴄᴀʀᴅsᴛᴏɴᴇ ᴘʟᴀʏɪɴɢ ᴛᴇᴀᴍ. ᴀs ᴘᴀʀᴛ ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴏɴᴛʀᴀᴄᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡɪʟʟ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴛᴏ sᴛᴀʀ ɪɴ ᴏɴᴇ ᴏɴ ᴍʏ ᴍᴏᴠɪᴇs. ɪᴛ ᴅᴏᴇsɴ'ᴛ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴛᴏ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ʟᴀᴅɪᴇs ɪɴ ɪᴛ ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°).
twitch chat
July 2014
Reynad

Wake up realization

zZzZ... 　＜⌒／ヽ-､_＿_ ／＜_/＿＿＿＿／ ￣￣￣￣￣￣￣ 　　　∧_∧　 　　 (　･_･) [insert text here] 　 ＿|　⊃／(＿＿_ ／　└-(＿＿＿_／
ascii art
October 2021

10 years since kolento strim

twitchquotes: 10 years since kolento strim.i walk through the empty streets trying to think of something else but my path always leads to the stream. i stare at the screen for hours and try to summon the lord. i watch other asian girls streaming but it is no good. i flame trump in his channel and try to resist the nazi mods but it is all meaningless. the end is near.i then usually watch some old kolento vods and cry myself to sleep.
twitch chat
December 2014
Kolento

Kripp BMs an opponent in Hearthstone

twitchquotes: Hey guys, I want to tell you about a terrible experience I had. I'm a 12 year old boy, I'm quite a nice guy but I've had a rough time lately. My dad left us a few years ago and my mom beats me. I'm very shy and I am bullied at school. Anyways, I played Hearthstone to take my mind of all this stuff. I played Kripp and he said I was a "Mind-blowingly bad hunter", "This guy is a garbage human being", and he said that I'm "a super shit person". He hated me so much and this makes me very sad. :(
twitch chat
July 2019
Kripp

Hearthstone

Catarrian hungry

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, Catarrian here. Far too long have I meowed and you've ignored my plea for food. Here you are bragging to everybody about the militant "vegan" that you are, yet you neglect animals. It's time everybody knows the truth meow so we can report your sorry Romanian *** to PETA.ᕙ໒(˵￣ᴥ￣˵)७ᕗ
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
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