[Copypasta] Homo Sapiens

twitchquotes: When I was 12 yrs old, a male friend asked me if I was Homosexual or Heterosexual. I didn't know what either meant, but I did know we were called Homo Sapiens. So I said I was Homosexual. He laughed at me. He then explained the difference and then I said I must be heterosexual because I had sex with his mom.
twitch chat
July 2018
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Exercise caution and stay away from the Subs

twitchquotes: SECURITY ALERT: A Romanian man, roughly 6'5", skeleton thin, with black hair and scraggly beard has been seen riding the NYC Sub train and violently "Bro-Fisting" passengers. He's accompanied by a short Asian man dressed as Hitler who reputedly cuts out the tongue of anyone who refuses to give him $5. Exercise caution and stay way from the Subs!
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

The Battle of Gamestop rages on.

The Battle of Gamestop rages on. Pre-market we could hear the bears in no-manโ€™s land, baiting us towards higher prices so the shorts could do their dirty work. I was stationed at the 13.80 line, and knew the morning was going to be hot. I shoveled a breakfast of tendies and said a quick prayer to Father Cohen. When the bell rang, the bears surged into our trenches. Blood and rainbow fur filled the air and littered the ground. The Diamond Division has seen worse days, and we held firm. As the bears retreated we gave chase to retake ground weโ€™d lost in the past week. As I caught my breath near the 14.50, I could see bodies everywhere; paper hands who had fallen in earlier battles. One of them groaned and reached a hand towards me. I spat on him and kept moving. No honor in retreat, and no sympathy for self-inflicted wounds. This war wonโ€™t be won in a day, but it will be won. Tell my wifeโ€™s boyfriend to tell her I love her.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

For anyone whose Egyptian keyboard is broken, hereโ€™s a full alphabet to copy and paste letters from accordingly

๐“€€ ๐“€ ๐“€‚ ๐“€ƒ ๐“€„ ๐“€… ๐“€† ๐“€‡ ๐“€ˆ ๐“€‰ ๐“€Š ๐“€‹ ๐“€Œ ๐“€ ๐“€Ž ๐“€ ๐“€ ๐“€‘ ๐“€’ ๐“€“ ๐“€” ๐“€• ๐“€– ๐“€— ๐“€˜ ๐“€™ ๐“€š ๐“€› ๐“€œ ๐“€ ๐“€ž ๐“€Ÿ ๐“€  ๐“€ก ๐“€ข ๐“€ฃ ๐“€ค ๐“€ฅ ๐“€ฆ ๐“€ง ๐“€จ ๐“€ฉ ๐“€ช ๐“€ซ ๐“€ฌ ๐“€ญ ๐“€ฎ ๐“€ฏ ๐“€ฐ ๐“€ฑ ๐“€ฒ ๐“€ณ ๐“€ด ๐“€ต ๐“€ถ ๐“€ท ๐“€ธ ๐“€น ๐“€บ ๐“€ป ๐“€ผ ๐“€ฝ ๐“€พ ๐“€ฟ ๐“€ ๐“ ๐“‚ ๐“ƒ ๐“„ ๐“… ๐“† ๐“‡ ๐“ˆ ๐“‰ ๐“Š ๐“‹ ๐“Œ ๐“ ๐“Ž ๐“ ๐“ ๐“‘ ๐“’ ๐““ ๐“” ๐“• ๐“– ๐“— ๐“˜ ๐“™ ๐“š ๐“› ๐“œ ๐“ ๐“ž ๐“Ÿ ๐“  ๐“ก ๐“ข ๐“ฃ ๐“ค ๐“ฅ ๐“ฆ ๐“ง ๐“จ ๐“ฉ ๐“ช ๐“ซ ๐“ฌ ๐“ญ ๐“ฎ ๐“ฏ ๐“ฐ ๐“ฑ ๐“ฒ ๐“ณ ๐“ด ๐“ต ๐“ถ ๐“ท ๐“ธ ๐“น ๐“บ ๐“ป ๐“ผ ๐“ฝ ๐“พ ๐“ฟ ๐“‚€ ๐“‚ ๐“‚‚ ๐“‚ƒ ๐“‚„ ๐“‚… ๐“‚† ๐“‚‡ ๐“‚ˆ ๐“‚‰ ๐“‚Š ๐“‚‹ ๐“‚Œ ๐“‚ ๐“‚Ž ๐“‚ ๐“‚ ๐“‚‘ ๐“‚’ ๐“‚“ ๐“‚” ๐“‚• ๐“‚– ๐“‚— ๐“‚˜ ๐“‚™ ๐“‚š ๐“‚› ๐“‚œ ๐“‚ ๐“‚ž ๐“‚Ÿ ๐“‚  ๐“‚ก ๐“‚ข ๐“‚ฃ ๐“‚ค ๐“‚ฅ ๐“‚ฆ ๐“‚ง ๐“‚จ ๐“‚ฉ ๐“‚ช ๐“‚ซ ๐“‚ฌ ๐“‚ญ ๐“‚ฎ ๐“‚ฏ ๐“‚ฐ ๐“‚ฑ ๐“‚ฒ ๐“‚ณ ๐“‚ด ๐“‚ต ๐“‚ถ ๐“‚ท ๐“‚ธ ๐“‚น ๐“‚บ ๐“‚ป ๐“‚ผ ๐“‚ฝ ๐“‚พ ๐“‚ฟ ๐“ƒ€ ๐“ƒ ๐“ƒ‚ ๐“ƒƒ ๐“ƒ„ ๐“ƒ… ๐“ƒ† ๐“ƒ‡ ๐“ƒˆ ๐“ƒ‰ ๐“ƒŠ ๐“ƒ‹ ๐“ƒŒ ๐“ƒ ๐“ƒŽ ๐“ƒ ๐“ƒ ๐“ƒ‘ ๐“ƒ’ ๐“ƒ“ ๐“ƒ” ๐“ƒ• ๐“ƒ– ๐“ƒ— ๐“ƒ˜ ๐“ƒ™ ๐“ƒš ๐“ƒ› ๐“ƒœ ๐“ƒ ๐“ƒž ๐“ƒŸ ๐“ƒ  ๐“ƒก ๐“ƒข ๐“ƒฃ ๐“ƒค ๐“ƒฅ ๐“ƒฆ ๐“ƒง ๐“ƒจ ๐“ƒฉ ๐“ƒช ๐“ƒซ ๐“ƒฌ ๐“ƒญ ๐“ƒฎ ๐“ƒฏ ๐“ƒฐ ๐“ƒฑ ๐“ƒฒ ๐“ƒณ ๐“ƒด ๐“ƒต ๐“ƒถ ๐“ƒท ๐“ƒธ ๐“ƒน ๐“ƒบ ๐“ƒป ๐“ƒผ ๐“ƒฝ ๐“ƒพ ๐“ƒฟ ๐“„€ ๐“„ ๐“„‚ ๐“„ƒ ๐“„„ ๐“„… ๐“„† ๐“„‡ ๐“„ˆ ๐“„‰ ๐“„Š ๐“„‹ ๐“„Œ ๐“„ ๐“„Ž ๐“„ ๐“„ ๐“„‘ ๐“„’ ๐“„“ ๐“„” ๐“„• ๐“„– ๐“„— ๐“„˜ ๐“„™ ๐“„š ๐“„› ๐“„œ ๐“„ ๐“„ž ๐“„Ÿ ๐“„  ๐“„ก ๐“„ข ๐“„ฃ ๐“„ค ๐“„ฅ ๐“„ฆ ๐“„ง ๐“„จ ๐“„ฉ ๐“„ช ๐“„ซ ๐“„ฌ ๐“„ญ ๐“„ฎ ๐“„ฏ ๐“„ฐ ๐“„ฑ ๐“„ฒ ๐“„ณ ๐“„ด ๐“„ต ๐“„ถ ๐“„ท ๐“„ธ ๐“„น ๐“„บ ๐“„ป ๐“„ผ ๐“„ฝ ๐“„พ ๐“„ฟ ๐“…€ ๐“… ๐“…‚ ๐“…ƒ ๐“…„ ๐“…… ๐“…† ๐“…‡ ๐“…ˆ ๐“…‰ ๐“…Š ๐“…‹ ๐“…Œ ๐“… ๐“…Ž ๐“… ๐“… ๐“…‘ ๐“…’ ๐“…“ ๐“…” ๐“…• ๐“…– ๐“…— ๐“…˜ ๐“…™ ๐“…š ๐“…› ๐“…œ ๐“… ๐“…ž ๐“…Ÿ ๐“…  ๐“…ก ๐“…ข ๐“…ฃ ๐“…ค ๐“…ฅ ๐“…ฆ ๐“…ง ๐“…จ ๐“…ฉ ๐“…ช ๐“…ซ ๐“…ฌ ๐“…ญ ๐“…ฎ ๐“…ฏ ๐“…ฐ ๐“…ฑ ๐“…ฒ ๐“…ณ ๐“…ด ๐“…ต ๐“…ถ ๐“…ท ๐“…ธ ๐“…น ๐“…บ ๐“…ป ๐“…ผ ๐“…ฝ ๐“…พ ๐“…ฟ ๐“†€ ๐“† ๐“†‚ ๐“†ƒ ๐“†„ ๐“†… ๐“†† ๐“†‡ ๐“†ˆ ๐“†‰ ๐“†Š ๐“†‹ ๐“†Œ ๐“† ๐“†Ž ๐“† ๐“† ๐“†‘ ๐“†’ ๐“†“ ๐“†” ๐“†• ๐“†– ๐“†— ๐“†˜ ๐“†™ ๐“†š ๐“†› ๐“†œ ๐“† ๐“†ž ๐“†Ÿ ๐“†  ๐“†ก ๐“†ข ๐“†ฃ ๐“†ค ๐“†ฅ ๐“†ฆ ๐“†ง ๐“†จ ๐“†ฉ ๐“†ช ๐“†ซ ๐“†ฌ ๐“†ญ ๐“†ฎ ๐“†ฏ ๐“†ฐ ๐“†ฑ ๐“†ฒ ๐“†ณ ๐“†ด ๐“†ต ๐“†ถ ๐“†ท ๐“†ธ ๐“†น ๐“†บ ๐“†ป ๐“†ผ ๐“†ฝ ๐“†พ ๐“†ฟ ๐“‡€ ๐“‡ ๐“‡‚ ๐“‡ƒ ๐“‡„ ๐“‡… ๐“‡† ๐“‡‡ ๐“‡ˆ ๐“‡‰ ๐“‡Š ๐“‡‹ ๐“‡Œ ๐“‡ ๐“‡Ž ๐“‡ ๐“‡ ๐“‡‘ ๐“‡’ ๐“‡“ ๐“‡” ๐“‡• ๐“‡– ๐“‡— ๐“‡˜ ๐“‡™ ๐“‡š ๐“‡› ๐“‡œ ๐“‡ ๐“‡ž ๐“‡Ÿ ๐“‡  ๐“‡ก ๐“‡ข ๐“‡ฃ ๐“‡ค ๐“‡ฅ ๐“‡ฆ ๐“‡ง ๐“‡จ ๐“‡ฉ ๐“‡ช ๐“‡ซ ๐“‡ฌ ๐“‡ญ ๐“‡ฎ ๐“‡ฏ ๐“‡ฐ ๐“‡ฑ ๐“‡ฒ ๐“‡ณ ๐“‡ด ๐“‡ต ๐“‡ถ ๐“‡ท ๐“‡ธ ๐“‡น ๐“‡บ ๐“‡ป ๐“‡ผ ๐“‡ฝ ๐“‡พ ๐“‡ฟ ๐“ˆ€ ๐“ˆ ๐“ˆ‚ ๐“ˆƒ ๐“ˆ„ ๐“ˆ… ๐“ˆ† ๐“ˆ‡ ๐“ˆˆ ๐“ˆ‰ ๐“ˆŠ ๐“ˆ‹ ๐“ˆŒ ๐“ˆ ๐“ˆŽ ๐“ˆ ๐“ˆ ๐“ˆ‘ ๐“ˆ’ ๐“ˆ“ ๐“ˆ” ๐“ˆ• ๐“ˆ– ๐“ˆ— ๐“ˆ˜ ๐“ˆ™ ๐“ˆš ๐“ˆ› ๐“ˆœ ๐“ˆ ๐“ˆž ๐“ˆŸ ๐“ˆ  ๐“ˆก ๐“ˆข ๐“ˆฃ ๐“ˆค ๐“ˆฅ ๐“ˆฆ ๐“ˆง ๐“ˆจ ๐“ˆฉ ๐“ˆช ๐“ˆซ ๐“ˆฌ ๐“ˆญ ๐“ˆฎ ๐“ˆฏ ๐“ˆฐ ๐“ˆฑ ๐“ˆฒ ๐“ˆณ ๐“ˆด ๐“ˆต ๐“ˆถ ๐“ˆท ๐“ˆธ ๐“ˆน ๐“ˆบ ๐“ˆป ๐“ˆผ ๐“ˆฝ ๐“ˆพ ๐“ˆฟ ๐“‰€ ๐“‰ ๐“‰‚ ๐“‰ƒ ๐“‰„ ๐“‰… ๐“‰† ๐“‰‡ ๐“‰ˆ ๐“‰‰ ๐“‰Š ๐“‰‹ ๐“‰Œ ๐“‰ ๐“‰Ž ๐“‰ ๐“‰ ๐“‰‘ ๐“‰’ ๐“‰“ ๐“‰” ๐“‰• ๐“‰– ๐“‰— ๐“‰˜ ๐“‰™ ๐“‰š ๐“‰› ๐“‰œ ๐“‰ ๐“‰ž ๐“‰Ÿ ๐“‰  ๐“‰ก ๐“‰ข ๐“‰ฃ ๐“‰ค ๐“‰ฅ ๐“‰ฆ ๐“‰ง ๐“‰จ ๐“‰ฉ ๐“‰ช ๐“‰ซ ๐“‰ฌ ๐“‰ญ ๐“‰ฎ ๐“‰ฏ ๐“‰ฐ ๐“‰ฑ ๐“‰ฒ ๐“‰ณ ๐“‰ด ๐“‰ต ๐“‰ถ ๐“‰ท ๐“‰ธ ๐“‰น ๐“‰บ ๐“‰ป ๐“‰ผ ๐“‰ฝ ๐“‰พ ๐“‰ฟ ๐“Š€ ๐“Ё ๐“Š‚ ๐“Šƒ ๐“Š„ ๐“Š… ๐“І ๐“Ї ๐“Šˆ ๐“Љ ๐“ŠŠ ๐“Š‹ ๐“ŠŒ ๐“Š ๐“ŠŽ ๐“Š ๐“А ๐“Š‘ ๐“Š’ ๐“Š“ ๐“Š” ๐“Š• ๐“Š– ๐“Š— ๐“Š˜ ๐“Š™ ๐“Šš ๐“Š› ๐“Šœ ๐“Š ๐“Šž ๐“ŠŸ ๐“Š  ๐“Šก ๐“Šข ๐“Šฃ ๐“Šค ๐“Šฅ ๐“Šฆ ๐“Šง ๐“Šจ ๐“Šฉ ๐“Šช ๐“Šซ ๐“Šฌ ๐“Šญ ๐“Šฎ ๐“Šฏ ๐“Šฐ ๐“Šฑ ๐“Šฒ ๐“Šณ ๐“Šด ๐“Šต ๐“Šถ ๐“Šท ๐“Šธ ๐“Šน ๐“Šบ ๐“Šป ๐“Šผ ๐“Šฝ ๐“Šพ ๐“Šฟ ๐“‹€ ๐“‹ ๐“‹‚ ๐“‹ƒ ๐“‹„ ๐“‹… ๐“‹† ๐“‹‡ ๐“‹ˆ ๐“‹‰ ๐“‹Š ๐“‹‹ ๐“‹Œ ๐“‹ ๐“‹Ž ๐“‹ ๐“‹ ๐“‹‘ ๐“‹’ ๐“‹“ ๐“‹” ๐“‹• ๐“‹– ๐“‹— ๐“‹˜ ๐“‹™ ๐“‹š ๐“‹› ๐“‹œ ๐“‹ ๐“‹ž ๐“‹Ÿ ๐“‹  ๐“‹ก ๐“‹ข ๐“‹ฃ ๐“‹ค ๐“‹ฅ ๐“‹ฆ ๐“‹ง ๐“‹จ ๐“‹ฉ ๐“‹ช ๐“‹ซ ๐“‹ฌ ๐“‹ญ ๐“‹ฎ ๐“‹ฏ ๐“‹ฐ ๐“‹ฑ ๐“‹ฒ ๐“‹ณ ๐“‹ด ๐“‹ต ๐“‹ถ ๐“‹ท ๐“‹ธ ๐“‹น ๐“‹บ ๐“‹ป ๐“‹ผ ๐“‹ฝ ๐“‹พ ๐“‹ฟ ๐“Œ€ ๐“Œ ๐“Œ‚ ๐“Œƒ ๐“Œ„ ๐“Œ… ๐“Œ† ๐“Œ‡ ๐“Œˆ ๐“Œ‰ ๐“ŒŠ ๐“Œ‹ ๐“ŒŒ ๐“Œ ๐“ŒŽ ๐“Œ ๐“Œ ๐“Œ‘ ๐“Œ’ ๐“Œ“ ๐“Œ” ๐“Œ• ๐“Œ– ๐“Œ— ๐“Œ˜ ๐“Œ™ ๐“Œš ๐“Œ› ๐“Œœ ๐“Œ ๐“Œž ๐“ŒŸ ๐“Œ  ๐“Œก ๐“Œข ๐“Œฃ ๐“Œค ๐“Œฅ ๐“Œฆ ๐“Œง ๐“Œจ ๐“Œฉ ๐“Œช ๐“Œซ ๐“Œฌ ๐“Œญ ๐“Œฎ ๐“Œฏ ๐“Œฐ ๐“Œฑ ๐“Œฒ ๐“Œณ ๐“Œด ๐“Œต ๐“Œถ ๐“Œท ๐“Œธ ๐“Œน ๐“Œบ ๐“Œป ๐“Œผ ๐“Œฝ ๐“Œพ ๐“Œฟ ๐“€ ๐“ ๐“‚ ๐“ƒ ๐“„ ๐“… ๐“† ๐“‡ ๐“ˆ ๐“‰ ๐“Š ๐“‹ ๐“Œ ๐“ ๐“Ž ๐“ ๐“ ๐“‘ ๐“’ ๐““ ๐“” ๐“• ๐“– ๐“— ๐“˜ ๐“™ ๐“š ๐“› ๐“œ ๐“ ๐“ž ๐“Ÿ ๐“  ๐“ก ๐“ข ๐“ฃ ๐“ค ๐“ฅ ๐“ฆ ๐“ง ๐“จ ๐“ฉ ๐“ช ๐“ซ ๐“ฌ ๐“ญ ๐“ฎ ๐“ฏ ๐“ฐ ๐“ฑ ๐“ฒ ๐“ณ ๐“ด ๐“ต ๐“ถ ๐“ท ๐“ธ ๐“น ๐“บ ๐“ป ๐“ผ ๐“ฝ ๐“พ ๐“ฟ ๐“Ž€ ๐“ށ ๐“Ž‚ ๐“Žƒ ๐“Ž„ ๐“Ž… ๐“ކ ๐“އ ๐“Žˆ ๐“މ ๐“ŽŠ ๐“Ž‹ ๐“ŽŒ ๐“Ž ๐“ŽŽ ๐“Ž ๐“ސ ๐“Ž‘ ๐“Ž’ ๐“Ž“ ๐“Ž” ๐“Ž• ๐“Ž– ๐“Ž— ๐“Ž˜ ๐“Ž™ ๐“Žš ๐“Ž› ๐“Žœ ๐“Ž ๐“Žž ๐“ŽŸ ๐“Ž  ๐“Žก ๐“Žข ๐“Žฃ ๐“Žค ๐“Žฅ ๐“Žฆ ๐“Žง ๐“Žจ ๐“Žฉ ๐“Žช ๐“Žซ ๐“Žฌ ๐“Žญ ๐“Žฎ ๐“Žฏ ๐“Žฐ ๐“Žฑ ๐“Žฒ ๐“Žณ ๐“Žด ๐“Žต ๐“Žถ ๐“Žท ๐“Žธ ๐“Žน ๐“Žบ ๐“Žป ๐“Žผ ๐“Žฝ ๐“Žพ ๐“Žฟ ๐“€ ๐“ ๐“‚ ๐“ƒ ๐“„ ๐“… ๐“† ๐“‡ ๐“ˆ ๐“‰ ๐“Š ๐“‹ ๐“Œ ๐“ ๐“Ž ๐“ ๐“ ๐“‘ ๐“’ ๐““ ๐“” ๐“• ๐“– ๐“— ๐“˜ ๐“™ ๐“š ๐“› ๐“œ ๐“ ๐“ž ๐“Ÿ ๐“  ๐“ก ๐“ข ๐“ฃ ๐“ค ๐“ฅ ๐“ฆ ๐“ง ๐“จ ๐“ฉ ๐“ช ๐“ซ ๐“ฌ ๐“ญ ๐“ฎ ๐“ฏ ๐“ฐ ๐“ฑ ๐“ฒ ๐“ณ ๐“ด ๐“ต ๐“ถ ๐“ท ๐“ธ ๐“น ๐“บ ๐“ป ๐“ผ ๐“ฝ ๐“พ ๐“ฟ ๐“€ ๐“ ๐“‚ ๐“ƒ ๐“„ ๐“… ๐“† ๐“‡ ๐“ˆ ๐“‰ ๐“Š ๐“‹ ๐“Œ ๐“ ๐“Ž ๐“ ๐“ ๐“‘ ๐“’ ๐““ ๐“” ๐“• ๐“– ๐“— ๐“˜ ๐“™ ๐“š ๐“› ๐“œ ๐“ ๐“ž ๐“Ÿ
March 2021

I'm not gay but I want to live with Kanye West

I want to live in a log cabin in the woods with Kanye. We won't ever have sex, but there will be a simmering erotic undercurrent as I stand in the kitchen window watching him tighten his ass as he chops wood, shirtless, sweat pouring off his body. I'll run upstairs and masturbate, the entire time forcing myself to think of women while my thoughts drift back to Kanye. I won't be able to climax and I'll eventually go back downstairs, angry. Sometimes we will look across the table and catch each other's eyes, and in that second, anything is possible, but we both deny ourselves and go back to what we were doing. One day one of us will die, and the other will bury him outside the log cabin. Then they'll go inside, pen a brief missive to their departed friend, and commit suicide, never able to deal with life without their one true platonic love.
August 2021

Kanye West

Daddy, are the Spammers gone?

twitchquotes: โ”ปโ”ณ| โ€ข.โ€ข) Daddy, are the Spammers Gone? โ”ปโ”ณ|(า‚`_ยด) ,๏ธปโ•ฆโ•คโ”€ า‰ NOPE,SON GET BACK IN YOUR BEDROOM
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February 2016
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