[Copypasta] Homo Sapiens

twitchquotes: When I was 12 yrs old, a male friend asked me if I was Homosexual or Heterosexual. I didn't know what either meant, but I did know we were called Homo Sapiens. So I said I was Homosexual. He laughed at me. He then explained the difference and then I said I must be heterosexual because I had sex with his mom.
twitch chat
July 2018
I used to be a real ad
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How do I get my husband to stop going ‘Goblin Mode’ during sex?

How do I get my husband to stop going ‘Goblin Mode’ during sex? TLDR; My husband says ‘Goblin Mode activated’ when we start to have sex, growls and acts like a caveman, and then says ‘Goblin Mode off’ when we stop, and then pretends not to remember afterward. I really love my husband and he’s always been great in bed. But recently he’s been acting really weird. So, a couple of days ago, my son went on a rampage through our house and said he was in ‘Goblin Mode’. We didn’t really know what to do with him, so we sent him to live with my parents so he can go to a special needs school. My husband a really great relationship with our son and loved him more than anything. Naturally, he was upset when he had to leave. He’s an incredibly tough man, but this was the first time I’ve ever seen him cry. I think since then, he’s been a little emotionally unwell. I’ve heard him muttering, ‘Goblin’ repeatedly when he didn’t notice me, staring blankly into his food, and just going alone by himself to do who knows what. I feel awful for him, but we both agreed that this was for the best. Last night, the day after our son went away, we decided to have sex to relieve our stress. However, my husband said ‘Goblin Mode activated’, starting growling, and went wild having sex with me. Admittedly, it was some of the best and most experimental sex I’ve ever had, but I’m worried that something might be going on with my husband. Any advice? Edit: The problem isn’t the ‘Goblin Mode’, it’s that he could be ill
July 2022

Confessions

Classic

Nice hack QVC!

twitchquotes: Nice hack QVC! We all know you are hacking there is no way you would be able to guess all this! Thanks for everything im unfollowing. I hope you mommy never bakes you cookies again. 5up 4 life! HAHA ZOOMERS MALDING!
twitch chat
November 2020
xQcOW

Among Us / Amogus

BatChest

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠉⠉⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠄⣀⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣀⠄⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄⠄⠚⠛⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠛⠛⠂⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠄⠐⠂⠄⠐⠂⠙⠻⢿⠟⠛⠄⠒⠈⠄⠒⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄⠄⢀⣠⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣿⣧⢀⣀⠄⢀⣆⣠⡀⠄⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣼⣿⣿⣜⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡙⠉⠙⠋⠉⣹⣿⢿⡿⡿⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄⠘⠛⠑⠋⠄⣀⣀⣠⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⠄⠈⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⠄⠄⢕⠠⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⣹⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⠄⠈⠂⠄⠛⠯⠥⠒⠁⠄⠄⣀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⡀⠄⠐⠄⢤⣤⢴⠚⠄⠄⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⣀⣀⠄⢀⣀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
ascii art
October 2021

Emote

VIVA LE MEME

twitchquotes: Clearly one of the largest, most daunting issues we face in modern day society is the threat of losing our rich culture of GLORIOUS MEMES which will be abandoned, lost, fogotten, and misunderstood in the future. We must enjoy the memes while they're still here to be embraced. VIVA LE MEME ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ
twitch chat
February 2015
Kripp

I miss the old Voyboy

twitchquotes: I miss the old Voyboy, SoloQ troll Voyboy. Not playing tanks Voyboy, teamfight flanks Voyboy. I hate the new Voyboy, the never rude Voyboy, family friendly streams Voyboy, the too polite Voyboy, meta slave Voyboy, this is the worst Voyboy. I miss the Curse Voyboy, Akali Nurse Voyboy, 420 burst Voyboy. I gotta say, at that time I'd like to feed Voyboy.
twitch chat
September 2016
Voyboy

League of Legends

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