[Copypasta] Homo Sapiens

twitchquotes: When I was 12 yrs old, a male friend asked me if I was Homosexual or Heterosexual. I didn't know what either meant, but I did know we were called Homo Sapiens. So I said I was Homosexual. He laughed at me. He then explained the difference and then I said I must be heterosexual because I had sex with his mom.
twitch chat
July 2018
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Europe is the Eastern USA

twitchquotes: Europe was founded in 1848 by Walker Texas Ranger when he rode a horse across the Atlantic, he called it "Eastern USA" which was eventually abbreviated as just "EU"
twitch chat
March 2014

Classic

EU vs NA

Can get on ma level (pro)

twitchquotes: Dang it's like you could copy and paste anything in chat and everyone goes wild over it - you guys look ridiculous. Maybe yall should focus on winning so you can get on ma level (pro). While you're staring at copying and pasting, im rackin up those chicken din dins. You-->๐Ÿ˜ต me-->๐Ÿค‘๐Ÿ—
twitch chat
March 2019

Fortnite

Kawaii Gun

โ€ฆ_โ€ฆ..____________________, , โ€ฆโ€ฆ/ KAWAII GUN `โ€”-___________โ€”โ€”_____] = = = = =(๏พ‰โ—•ใƒฎโ—•)๏พ‰*:๏ฝฅ๏พŸโœง โ€ฆ../_==o;;;;;;;;_______.:/ โ€ฆ..), โ€”-.(_(__) / โ€ฆ.// (..) ), โ€”โ€”โ€ โ€ฆ//___// ..//___// .//___//
October 2021

Weebs

Anime

Natalie Portman is the reason I work out

Natalie Portman is the reason I work out. I have this fantasy where we start talking at the Vanity Fair Oscars party bar. We exchange a few pleasantries. She asks what I do. I say I loved her in New Girl. She laughs. I get my drink. "Well, see ya," I say and walk away. I've got her attention now. How many guys voluntarily leave a conversation with Natalie Portman? She touches her neck as she watches me leave. Later, as the night's dragged on and the coterie of gorgeous narcissists grows increasingly loose, she finds me on the balcony, my bowtie undone, smoking a cigarette. "Got a spare?" she asks. "What's in it for me?" I say as I hand her one of my little white ladies. She smiles. "Conversation with me, duh." I laugh. "What's so funny?" she protests. "Nothing, nothing... It's just... don't you grow tired of the egos?" "You get used to it," she says, lighting her cigarette and handing me back the lighter. "What would you do if you weren't an actress?" I ask. "Teaching, I think." "And if I was your student, what would I be learning?" "Discipline," she says quickly, looking up into my eyes, before changing the subject. "Where are you from?" "Bermuda," I say. "Oh wow. That's lovely." "It's ok," I admit. "Not everything is to my liking." "What could possibly be not to your liking in Bermuda?" she inquires. "I don't like sand," I tell her. "It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere."
January 2021

Classic

Megaman's head

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
November 2014
Text-to-Speech Playing