[Copypasta] My mom took away my Xbox

twitchquotes: My mom took away my Xbox. This is the saddest moment in my life. The most pain and unimaginable suffering I have ever felt before. Have I been a bad boy? Is that why she did what she did? I don’t know. I have so many questions. I also have depression because of lack of Xbox. I can’t play Minecraft. I love Minecraft so so much, it’s my favorite game in the entire world. Why would she take such joy and happiness away from me? Does she think I do bad things on there? If so, she should know that I join good Christian Minecraft servers only. That’s it.... I give up. I can’t fr*cking take another painful second of this anymore. This torture is what has been depressing me for so long. I swear to h**k, I’ll get that Xbox back if it kills me.
twitch chat
December 2018
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

My 86-year-old grandmother replied "OK, boomer" to my boomer aunt in an argument

Backstory: I live round the corner from my gran and visit her often so thanks to me she has a vague grasp of what memes are and how they work. The other day when I was round at hers and she asked what memes were popular at the moment so I told her about the "OK boomer" meme. She knew what boomers were already so she was able to get the concept of this meme fairly easily. Fast forward to today, I'm over at my gran's again, and she's on the phone to my aunt. They got into a disagreement over a slightly racist comment my aunt made the other day (my gran is very much against racism) and my gran eventually just said "OK boomer" and hung up. I've never been so proud. UPDATE: So I told my gran about this post and the reaction it got - she said she's glad that so many of you enjoyed her little joke and that it proves she's still young at heart. I agree with that 100%.
December 2021

Anime girl 10 open mouth

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠁⣀⣤⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠺⠿⢿⣿⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠻⣿ ⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⣦⣄⠀⠀ ⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣶⣿⠏⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣁⠀⠀⠀⠛⠙⠛⠋⠀⠀ ⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⠇⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠁⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⠀⣐⣣⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠛⠀⠌⠻⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣶⣮⣽⣰⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⢿⣤⠄⢠⣄⢹⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⡆⢻⣿⣿⠃⢠⠖⠛⣛⣷⠀ ⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⣝⡻⠿⠿⢃⣄⣭⡟⢀⡎⣰⡶⣪⣿⠀ ⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⠟⣛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⡿⢁⣾⣿⢿⣿⣿⠏⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣻⣿⡟⠘⠿⠿⠎⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣵⣿⣿⠧⣷⠟⠁⠀⠀ ⡇⠀⠀⢹⣿⡧⠀⡀⠀⣀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⢰⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⢻⢰⣿⣶⣿⡿⠿⢂⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣻⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠿⠟⣁⣴⣾⣿⣿⠿⠿⣛⣋⣥⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⡀
ascii art
August 2019

Weebs

NSFW

Flame imp is a bad card

twitchquotes: Wow. Wanna know how I know that this guy doesn't know what he is doing? He plays Flame Imp, a card that does 3 damage to the guy that plays it. Clearly he doesn't understand that if you run out of health you lose.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Ameng meets Bumper in a hallway

twitchquotes: Bumper broke into a cold sweat. There he was across the hallway, a man whose name that brought chills down his spine. Bumper looked down, hoping to avoid direct eye contact. "A-ameng," Bumper stuttered. "What up, virgin" Ameng boomed. Bumper braced himself but it was too late. Ameng's 5000 tonne shoulder slammed into his, the movement causing air waves across the room. Bumper flew back and the concrete wall chipped around him. His shoulder was definitely broken. "Later, nerd." Ameng chuckled.
twitch chat
March 2019
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

Hey, vsauce, Micheal here! Why is my peepee hard? Or is it?

Hey, vsauce, Micheal here! Why is my peepee hard? Or is it? Well, ya see, we need to start with the peepee itself. The hardening of the peepee is called an erection. Erection. The term itself shares a similarity with our own predecessors, Homo Erectus. That's Latin for Gay Straight. So, naturally, we can start to fill in the picture. Our predecessors, Gay Straights, also had hard peepees. Which brings us back to modern day erections. You see, an erection is a signal to tell you that you are gay, a leftover device from the era of Gay Straights. But what is "gay"? To quote Nelson Mandela, "To be gay is not to love others. It is to love yourself and to stay true in the face of many hardships and hard dicks." In Layman's terms, Nelson Mandela is trying to tell us to go fuck ourselves. This is vital to know because it puts into perspective the absolute size of gayness itself, divided into unique homogenous subgroups. Such a diverse range is exactly why the flag of LGBTQBBQ communities is a rainbow. But, you ask, how does this tie in to what gay Is? I'm getting there. Gay is a slang term for homosexual, which is to have sexual interest in someone of the same gender as yourself. To see more on the topic of gender, click the annotation on my face now for a playlist of videos specifically on the subject. So, to answer your question, your peepee is hard because you're gay. Hopefully today's little snippet was a good brain train for you. If you'd like to find other fun ways to test your mind mettle, click the annotation up here to go see some of my huge DONGs. And, as always, thanks for watching.
August 2021
More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing