[Copypasta] My mom took away my Xbox

twitchquotes: My mom took away my Xbox. This is the saddest moment in my life. The most pain and unimaginable suffering I have ever felt before. Have I been a bad boy? Is that why she did what she did? I don’t know. I have so many questions. I also have depression because of lack of Xbox. I can’t play Minecraft. I love Minecraft so so much, it’s my favorite game in the entire world. Why would she take such joy and happiness away from me? Does she think I do bad things on there? If so, she should know that I join good Christian Minecraft servers only. That’s it.... I give up. I can’t fr*cking take another painful second of this anymore. This torture is what has been depressing me for so long. I swear to h**k, I’ll get that Xbox back if it kills me.
twitch chat
December 2018
What happened to this ad? :(
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This is the Hygiene Police

twitchquotes: (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿) This is the Hygiene Police, we have reason to suspect you didn't wash your hands after exiting the bathroom. Please prepare for a full body cavity search. (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿)
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

John Cena is an Asian person born into a white body

I get a feeling that John Cena is an Asian person born into a white body. He has a lot of discipline, he was the most hardworking WWE wrestler during his time at the WWE, always coming early and putting in the work. He is extremely wise beyond his years. When confronted with a stalker, he gave the guy life lessions. He is extremely patient and show the same restraint an Asian person has. I don't know if he read a lot of Art of War or Eastern philosophy when he was younger. He learning Chinese and playing piano shows me that he is very discipline and very eager about self improving. He is a millionaire and is famous, but yet, he still wants to improve. Interestingly enough, he didn't marry some hot female despite Nikki Bella expecting a proposal. He started dating and actually married Shay Shariatzadeh not long after meeting her. John Cena wanted a smart girl, and Shay had a career and wasn't just hot. So there are many examples that John Cena surprise me as a person. Not many white people can legit speak Mandarin for that long after learning it for a short period of time. His pronunciation isn't the best, but he has ways with his words and his mind is sharp. No wonder he is so successful.
June 2021

FeelsOldMan

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢟⣯⣭⣭⣝⣛⠿⢿⣛⣿⣛⣛⡻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣱⣾⣿⣿⣟⣭⡭⠖⡑⢈⢿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣷⣭⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣱⣿⣿⡿⣻⣿⣯⣥⣿⣒⡽⡎⢚⣕⣛⠿⢿⣿⣿⡎⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣱⣾⣿⢫⣷⣿⣿⠛⣋⡍⣥⡴⣶⣶⣄⢖⢘⣽⣓⢒⡆⡴⣶⠖⣼⢻⣿ ⣿⡿⣳⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠑⠹⣃⣥⡶⣒⣒⠒⠮⠥⠌⡘⠫⠬⠕⢶⣋⠬⠟⡃⢿ ⡿⣭⣿⡋⢿⣿⣿⣿⣵⣵⡛⣯⢡⡥⠄⠄⢉⠉⣍⡑⡰⣀⣭⠍⠲⢀⠈⠹⡶⢸ ⢳⣽⡿⣿⣷⣜⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣲⡘⢧⣤⣶⣬⡶⢞⣡⢆⠻⣿⣦⣥⣶⣶⠶⣰⣿ ⣿⣸⣇⣿⣿⣿⡞⣾⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣶⠶⠶⠂⢾⣿⣶⣿⣓⠂⠄⠐⢀⠴⣾⣿⣿ ⡻⣯⢻⣽⣿⣿⢧⣿⡷⣿⡿⣫⣵⡷⣛⣯⣭⣟⡷⣯⣯⣷⣛⣛⡛⢶⣥⡘⣿⣿ ⣿⣷⣧⣝⣛⣣⣿⣿⡿⡑⣺⢿⢿⣿⢏⡵⡶⠋⣝⣻⣏⡐⠌⠻⣿⠆⣮⡻⡘⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡳⠔⠥⠡⠍⣀⡻⠿⠿⠷⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⢟⣊⢃⣰⣿ ⡽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣻⣯⣻⢿⣿⣧⡹⡶⣤⣬⣝⣛⣛⡛⠿⠿⠿⠿⢟⣛⣛⢛⣼⣿⣿ ⠄⠙⠲⠭⣽⣛⣻⠿⢷⣿⣿⣷⢹⣽⣝⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣻⣻⣽⢟⡿⣣⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠙⠛⠛⠒⠒⠒⠺⣧⡟⣿⣿⣟⣿⣷⣧⣿⢟⡿⣱⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣹⡟⣿⣿⣿⢹⣿⣾⣾⣳⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
ascii art
November 2021

Pepe

I sexually Identify as a snow chugger

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as a snow chugger. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of chuggering over the plains of Azeroth freezing disgusting hunters. People say to me that a person being a snowchugger is Impossible and I m fuсking retarded but I don t care, I m beautiful. I m having a mech warper install snow plows, salt shakers and whirling blades on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Choo Choo" and respect my right to chugga chugga and freeze needlessly. If you can t accept me you re a mechaphobe and need to check your topdeck privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
twitch chat
September 2017

Hearthstone

4D mindgames Kripp is playing with his opponent

twitchquotes: What chat is glossing over with this "misplay" is the 4D mindgames Kripp is playing with his opponent. He's making the opponent think he's a terrible player, and therefore more likely to make bad choices, when in reality he's playing against Kripparian the master of salt, and salty plays. He's a real wiz at juking people in a children's card game.
twitch chat
April 2018
Kripp

Hearthstone

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