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Give me a second guys, Dex says

twitchquotes: "Give me a second, guys," Dex says. "Gotta hit up the mailman" He turns down the volume on his bork, and immediately gives Kripp a swift kick down the stairs. As Kripp yelps loudly in pain, Dex overturns the nearest chair, yelling "Fuck this delivery!" as loudly as he can. Fey tries to calm him down, but Dex swiftly bodyslams her onto a glass coffee table. After taking a few deep breaths, Dex wipes the blood off of his snout, sits back down at his ball, and resumes being a good doggy
twitch chat
January 2019
Kripp

Hey Kripp. it's Chris from Overwolf

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp. it's Chris from Overwolf. We're sorry to say we have to terminate your sponsor contract due to the fact that you consistently keep losing, even though you're using decks drafted through the HearthArena app. You are simply bringing us too much unneeded bad reputation, so we figure we'd just channel the funds we spend on you on a better player like Amaz. Sorry for this, and good luck in the future.
twitch chat
September 2018
Kripp

Hearthstone

Waiting for adblock to be disabled

why do they call it xbox 360?

twitchquotes: why do they call it xbox 360? because when you see it you turn 360 degrees and walk away ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ‘Œ ๐Ÿ’ฏ ๐Ÿ”ฅ
twitch chat
June 2017

Among Us wikipedia entry comment (The Amogus Effect)

To: Talk:Among Us The heavy amount of shitposting which satires the videogame "Among Us" seems massive and relevant enough to me to have some sort of brief mention in this article. As there is a lot of satire about whether or not Among Us is "dead" or "overpopulated by 5 year olds". Of course, this section would maintain the formal and encyclopedic tone of Wikipedia articles, but things such as the "Among Us Effect" As seen here:1st or in the Lego Piece 26047 (Image of the aforementioned piece, which looks like the Crewmate in Among Us. This internet phenomenom is so big that you can literally post the Image of a trashcan without any context and many people will get the "Amogus" reference But take all of this with a bit of salt. My goal here is not to get the funnies, but to make wikipedia a better place, and I think this is a way to do it, but If you don't feel like this is the right way feel free to tell me.
June 2021

Among Us / Amogus

NOPERS

twitchquotes: G๏ฎžอž ฬถอž โœŠ ฬถอž D NOPERS โฑญอž ฬถอž โœŠ ฬถอž ๏ป๏ฎžอž
twitch chat
January 2021
Waiting for adblock to be disabled

You are currently in a 25 year coma

twitchquotes: If you are reading this message, Jesse, you are currently in a 25 year coma. We've been trying to communicate with you for the longest time by manipulating your brain waves, but nothing so far has worked. If you manage to read this it means our new method has succeeded. Please, wake up Jesse. Your family loves you and wants you back. In a week they are going to pull the plug on your life support, they can't afford the medical bills anymore.
twitch chat
August 2017
Sneaky

Putin should start an OnlyFans to save the Russian economy

Think about it. The Russian economy is in shambles. All assets frozen, there's no money coming in. But if he just spread that hiney for some people who would like it then why not? With a couple butt spread pictures maybe a ruble can be worth more than a potato again. Here are some content ideas that I suggest: Wanking Videos (pretty basic, these are the cheapest ones cuz his dick๐Ÿ† is like 1 cm๐Ÿฅœ) Body Worship Videos (kinda hot ngl ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜Œ๐Ÿ˜ฐ, all his dick sucking oligarchs oil his body and touch him in ways he never thought possible๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ‘‹๐Ÿค›) Sanction Bukkake (a livestream where in a dick cums on his face every time he gets a sanction๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ) Lukashenko Sex Tapes (these are pretty expensive, a collection of Vladdy Daddy and Lukashenskank cumming with every position in the Kamasutra๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿ•บโ™‹๐Ÿ‡๐Ÿ•) Nuke-In-Crack Challenge (the most expensive one! This is where he fills his hole with the invaluable Russian crude oil and tries to fit a Nuclear Warhead up his ass! โ›ฝโ˜ข๏ธ๐Ÿ‘๐ŸŽ†) What u guys think?
March 2022

Russian Ukrainian War

A middle aged man complaining about an online children's card game

twitchquotes: Why does anyone watch this guys stream? Its just a middle aged man complaining about an online children's card game. Its not even interesting either? please.. dont copy and paste this. its serious..he has 20k + viewers almost constantly
twitch chat
August 2015
Kripp

I'm Tanner Jr. btw!

twitchquotes: Hi kripp, I just turned 5 years old! My dad says I'm pretty good at this game at that I should watch your stream to learn how not to play bad. He says he stole your high school girlfriend and does things to your wife in bed everyday. Oh yeah, I'm Tanner Jr. btw! Nice to meet you!
twitch chat
February 2019
Kripp

Tanner from High School

Unsponsered Art of Conquest stream

twitchquotes: It is the 2018 Oscars and Tom Hanks stands at the podium to announce Best Actor. โ€œBoy,โ€ he says, โ€œwe got a real competition this year! Johnny Depp, Leo DiCaprio, George Clooney, anyone could win!โ€ The world holds its breath to see who will win the most prestigious acting award in the world. โ€œWow!โ€ says Hanks. โ€œI donโ€™t believe it! The winner is Kripparrian in his โ€˜Unsponseredโ€™ Art of Conquest stream!โ€
twitch chat
January 2018
Kripp

sellout

Waiting for adblock to be disabled

SKT logo

twitchquotes: โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ ธโฃ”โ €โ คโข€โก€โ €โ €โ €โข โก€โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โข โก„โ €โก โข”โกฟโ €โ €โข€โก€โ คโ โฃขโ ‡ โ €โ ˜โขโกโ ‚โ ดโฃŒโฃโขโฃงโกถโ †โ €โข โกถโ ฆโฃพโฃ’โ โ โฃผโขƒโฃˆโกกโ งโ โข‚โกฉโ ƒโ € โ €โ €โ €โ ‰โขฏโก€โ ˜โ ขโกŒโ ‰โกธโ €โ €โกพโ €โ €โ €โ งโ €โขฐโกโขคโ โ ƒโฃ€โกฝโ ‰โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ฐโขŒโฃโ ‘โขฒโ “โ €โฃธโ ƒโ €โ €โก˜โ †โ €โกฟโ ’โข‰โฃ‰โก โ ƒโ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ˆโฃนโฃโฃ€โฃ€โฃฝโ €โข€โฃดโฃˆโฃ€โฃ โกŸโ ‰โ ‰โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €
twitch chat
November 2019
Riot Games

League of Legends

lul EU.... I guess

twitchquotes: Lost to EU in Twitch Rivals FeelsBadMan Lost to EU at Worlds FeelsBadMan Lost to EU at MSI FeelsBadMan Only 1 NA mid next season FeelsBadMan lul EU.... I guess FeelsBadMan
twitch chat
December 2019
Riot Games

League of Legends

69 nice

twitchquotes: Oh you think youโ€™re funny eh? Yeah youโ€™re so funny commenting nice on a number that represents reproduction. Yeah so funny. Wouldnโ€™t it be nice if somebody came at your doorstep at 4:20 am with a bat that has 69 written on it? Yeah that will be as funny as your joke.
twitch chat
October 2020

If Jeff Bezos gave everyone on this planet $1 billion

Jeff Bezos net worth is $185.3 Billion There is 7.8 billion people on earth If he gave everyone on this planet $1 billion, he would still have $177.5 billion This is why we must #TaxTheRich
August 2021

Both dudes

twitchquotes: (โ€ฟห โ€ฟ) _(โ€ฟห โ€ฟ) only the chosen one can fist both dudes . โŽ KappaPride โŽ 
twitch chat
October 2018

KappaPride

What happened to this ad? :(

SMOrc me chat SMOrc goats bad

twitchquotes: SMOrc me chat SMOrc goats bad SMOrc c9 SMOrc gift pass
twitch chat
March 2019
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

Imagine Fortnite Jonesy in Smash

Imagine this: You're watching the new Nintendo Direct. As it begins you hope to see the new smash reveal, and are hoping you get the character you so desperately wanted, whether it's Crash Bandicoot or Sora. The trailer begins with the classic smash opening. As you watch the trailer, you begin to feel hope that your dream may have come true. But then, at the part where the character is revealed, you hear a bus horn, and wonder "Is it coming from outside?" But no. It's from the trailer. You watch a manly figure drop out of the sky, landing gracefully in front of the characters he is about to defeat. It gazes upon his sharp-bladed pickaxe, his luxurious blond hair, and his shining silver dog tags. As the sun fades away, you finally see who it really was: It was Jonesy from Fortnite. It's a long shot, I know. But imagine.
September 2021

Fortnite

Super Smash Bros

Grow up chat, grow up

twitchquotes: This chat disgusts me. 40% of the chat are 41 year olds pretending to be 14. The other 40% are 14 year olds pretending to be 41. And the remaining 30% just copy pastes the longest message they can find in the chat. Grow up chat, grow up
twitch chat
March 2019

I hate Twitch Chat

Just me and EA hanging out

twitchquotes: Just me and ๐Ÿ’ฐ๐Ÿ’•EA๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’ฐ, hanging out I wanted some Star Wars๐ŸŒŸ so I started to pout ๐Ÿ˜ž He asked if I was down โฌ‡for something yummy ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ† and I asked what and he said he'd give me his ๐Ÿ’ฐ๐Ÿ’ฆlooties!๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฐ Yeah! Yeah!๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’ฆ I earn them!๐Ÿ’ฆ I buy them!๐Ÿ’ฆ I purchase them whole๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฐ ๐Ÿ˜ It makes ๐Ÿ’ฐ๐Ÿ’˜EA๐Ÿ’˜๐Ÿ’ฐ ๐Ÿ˜Šhappy๐Ÿ˜Š so it's my only goal... ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ˜ซHarder EA! Harder EA! ๐Ÿ˜ซ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’• 1 lootie๐Ÿ’ฆ, 2 lootie๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ, 3 lootie๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ, 4๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ I'm ๐Ÿ’ฐ๐Ÿ’˜EA's๐Ÿ’˜๐Ÿ’ฐ ๐Ÿ‘‘Disney princess ๐Ÿ‘‘but I'm also a consumer whore! ๐Ÿ’Ÿ He makes me OP๐Ÿ’—!He makes me feel good๐Ÿ’œ! ๐Ÿ’˜๐Ÿ’˜๐Ÿ’˜He makes me feel everything a whale should!~ ๐Ÿ’˜๐Ÿ’˜๐Ÿ’˜ ๐Ÿ‘‘๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’˜Wa-What!๐Ÿ’˜๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ‘‘๏ปฟ
twitch chat
November 2017
I used to be a real ad

Annoying Lit mobile YouTube ad

twitchquotes: So lit mobile just sent me this solar wireless battery pack, I'm excited, lets see whats inside. I really like the build its got really nice grips on the side, its shock proof, and water resistant. The power bank has 20,000 milliamps which can fully charge your phone up to eight times. Its also got a convenient loop for carrying. on the back of the device we have a bunch of solar panels which can charge the battery bank in about 60 minutes. On the top of the device, there are 3 usb ports and 2 of them are fast charging. If you hit the power button 2 times, the led light comes on. If you hit the power button once, the led lights will tell you how much battery you have. There's a micro usb port on the side for fast charging. My favorite part of this device is that it charges my phone wirelessly. there's a red light indicator at the top to let you know that your phone is charging.
twitch chat
May 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing