[Copypasta] Lazy SCP writers be like

Scp-████ is a ██████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ foundation staff ████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ D-3819 ██████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ among us ████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ genitals were obliterated ██████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████
April 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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My boss caught me watching a hottub streamer

Hey, quandale Pringle here, My boss caught me watching a hottub streamer during work and he squeezed my hog so hard and wouldn't even stop after I banned him. My brother Cornelius Bartholomew Anderson ringle got caught in an alberian twitch prime and bits scam and got sent to the gulag, but we've snuck him a Nokia 3310 in his ass with a spoon that he'll be using to plan a breakout with my cousin longsdale dimmsdimone slingle.
July 2022

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist. I'm always finding time to crank out a few p-ups. Ahh yep, I do maybe a thousand p-ups a day and I'm a father of two. Those nerds coloring with crayons? Time to squeeze in a few p-ups. Little dorks eating mac and cheese? It's p-up time. I'm like a leathered marble statue of a really muscular guy, my muscles are so tight and rugged. Hell, I took a p-up break while typing this comment. The ladies at work, these little work ladies, love when I crank out p-ups right there in front of them and come up off the floor red faced and with a sizeable bulge in my slacks. That bulge is unrelated to the p-ups, by the way, I'm just a guy who's always one hard nipple poking through a shirt away from a full meat platter. Hell, I'd cheat on my wife with one of these little work ladies if she wasn't one of the little work ladies I work with. We bone in the bathroom. I get jacked on p-ups and then we bone in the bathroom and there's nothing my boss can do about it because my vascularity is way too intimidating. I tell him he should do some p-ups if he wants to fuck my wife. It's the only way she gets that slizz juiced and loosed. She wants to see multitudinous p-ups and she wants to see those p-ups now! Whoops! Haha, okay, looks like she's watching me type this over my shoulder. Uh oh. See ya later, nerdbags. I'm gonna p-ups myself up to a full plumper and pump that honey ham rump of my little work lady wife.
April 2021

Rasputin

⡯⣫⢯⡫⣏⢯⢯⢯⢯⢯⣟⡿⠛⠉⠁⠐⣿⢿⣟⡿⣽⣻⣽⣟⣿⢿⣿⣿⣟⡿⣿⢽⣻⢽⡯⣟⡽⣯⣻⢽⢯⣻⢽⢽⢽⢽⢽⢽⢽⢽ ⡯⣺⣕⢯⢾⢽⢽⡽⣿⠛⠁⠄⢀⢀⠄⢅⢴⣿⢾⣽⣯⡿⠟⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠠⠄⠈⠙⠿⣯⢿⣳⡯⣯⢟⡾⡽⡽⡽⡽⡽⡽⡽⣽ ⡯⣺⢮⢯⡳⡯⡷⡿⠃⢀⢔⢈⠐⠨⠨⢂⠩⣽⣿⣿⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⠐⡐⡔⠄⠄⢀⠄⢈⠙⢯⣿⡽⣯⢯⢿⡽⣽⢽⢽⢽⢽⣽ ⣟⢮⡻⡮⡯⡿⣿⠄⠌⠂⠂⢀⠂⡄⢄⣔⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⢄⠠⣢⡖⠝⡂⢀⠄⠂⢀⠂⡂⠸⣿⣟⣿⢽⡽⣽⢽⢯⣟⣗⣿ ⣗⢯⢯⢯⣟⣽⡿⢀⠆⢀⠠⣐⠈⠎⠫⢈⡿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠄⠄⢀⠢⡝⡚⠁⠄⠄⠄⢂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠡⠘⢿⣻⣽⢯⣗⣟⣗⣗⡷⣽ ⡯⣫⡯⣗⡷⣿⡇⠄⢀⢀⠢⣣⢿⡿⣿⣿⠄⠄⢀⣿⡆⠄⠄⠐⢈⠐⠩⠂⢄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠔⠰⡠⠂⢈⠠⠈⣻⣿⣟⣷⣫⢾⣺⢽⣺ ⣯⡳⡯⣗⣟⡿⠄⢀⢔⣼⣾⡏⢢⢻⣽⣿⠄⠄⢈⣿⣧⠄⠄⣁⣠⣠⣴⣼⣿⣿⣿⣾⣦⣤⣁⠁⠂⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣷⣻⡽⣞⡯⣿ ⣗⢯⣻⡽⣾⡁⠄⣲⣵⣿⣿⢇⢱⠐⠐⠅⠃⠄⠐⢽⣿⡯⡸⣷⣿⣟⣾⡿⣿⣟⣿⢿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢿⣿⡾⣯⣗⡯⣿ ⣯⢯⢷⣻⡿⠄⠄⡿⣿⢿⣽⣳⡝⡼⡸⡵⠄⠄⠤⣔⣽⢇⢗⡯⣷⣿⣷⡿⣟⡷⡽⡽⡽⣯⣿⣽⢿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⣿⣿⣷⣗⡯⣿ ⡯⣯⢿⣽⡇⠄⢔⣽⣿⣿⡿⣟⣜⢮⣻⣽⣷⣝⣿⣿⣿⠸⡽⣽⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣳⣻⢽⡿⡿⡻⣽⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣻⡾⣽⣻ ⣯⢷⣻⣽⠄⢌⣮⣿⣾⢿⣿⣗⡵⣳⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡗⢐⠠⠑⠙⠝⠺⢫⣿⣽⠨⠃⠁⢀⣀⠁⠑⢯⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⢿⣿⢯⡷⣿ ⣿⣽⢯⡏⠄⠌⡞⣿⢺⣽⣿⡷⣟⡮⣿⢿⣽⣿⡿⠃⠄⠄⠢⡑⠜⡎⡆⢀⣿⣿⢿⡻⡑⢕⡺⣿⣫⣞⣾⣿⣿⠐⠄⠄⠄⢹⣿⡯⣯⣿ ⣿⣾⠟⠄⢀⢑⢬⣇⡫⣿⣿⣿⣽⣾⣽⢿⣿⡿⠁⠠⢡⢱⠰⡠⡑⠜⢐⢐⣽⣿⣿⣷⣧⢧⣻⣾⣯⣿⣿⣿⡟⠠⠄⠄⠄⢸⢿⣽⢷⣿ ⠟⣜⢄⢰⢨⠪⡕⡦⣏⢿⢽⡽⡷⣗⢯⠛⠁⠄⠄⠐⠈⡢⢑⠔⠌⠂⢐⢵⣿⣿⣿⡷⣿⡿⣷⢷⣿⣽⣿⡿⠁⡀⡂⣀⠄⣼⣿⣻⣽⣻ ⡕⣺⡢⡣⣕⣿⣜⣮⣶⣷⣟⣿⣺⣽⣁⣀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠂⠠⢑⠨⡈⢀⠠⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣳⡯⣻⢿⣻⣿⣿⠍⠂⠂⡣⣿⣿⡿⣾⣻⣺⣽ ⡧⣸⣝⣷⣻⣿⢿⣿⣿⢿⣿⡷⣿⣿⣿⣿⠹⡊⠄⠄⠐⢈⢐⠈⠄⠂⠄⠙⡻⡿⣯⡾⣿⣿⡿⣝⢿⣿⡇⠐⠄⠄⠂⣚⡺⣽⣽⢾⣻⣾ ⣿⢸⣟⣮⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⡍⣿⣿⣿⣯⢋⢂⠄⠈⡀⠄⠠⠄⢂⠐⡔⡸⢸⠂⠎⡌⡆⢔⢩⠠⠈⡻⢅⠁⠄⠄⠈⣔⢽⣳⡽⣽⣗⣿ ⢿⣸⣿⣿⣷⣷⣽⣿⣾⣻⣪⠇⢸⣿⣿⣿⢪⡀⠄⠄⠠⠄⡀⠐⡀⠄⠄⢠⢢⢐⡠⣂⢮⡮⠂⢕⠣⠡⡁⠄⡀⠄⠄⠆⣅⣷⣻⣳⣯⣿ ⠈⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣯⠟⠁⠄⣿⣿⣿⣯⣗⠅⠄⢀⠐⢀⠄⡁⢀⠂⠍⡆⣖⢐⢐⣜⣞⣮⡳⠁⠨⠈⠌⡀⠄⠠⠈⣊⢮⣞⣾⣳⢷⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠉⠛⠛⠟⠋⠄⢀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡺⠁⠠⠄⠐⢀⠁⠄⠄⠅⠣⡹⡳⢟⢿⢿⢿⢷⠐⠈⢀⠄⡂⠄⠠⠄⠠⠸⣿⣳⣷⣟⣯⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⡀⠄⣼⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠈⠉⠄⡀⠂⡈⠔⠄⠂⢂⠁⠅⢁⢎⠄⠱⡁⡁⠈⡀⠄⠐⠄⠄⠄⠐⡠⢈⠠⠁⠄⢉⠛⢿⣿⣿
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January 2021

Jeff Bezos vs Elon Musk

Jeff Bezos -Bald -Exwife took half his networth -Second richest person Elon Musk -Grew back full head of hair -Has girlfriend, allegedly had a threesome with Amber Heard and Cara Delevingne -Richest person TSLA > AMZN
January 2021

WallStreetBets

Classic

Kripp's handicapped half-cousin from Romania, Kripple

twitchquotes: Dear Kripp, this is you handicapped half-cousin from Romania, Kripple. I need you help for my medical bill. I owe Doctor $5,000 and he only accept 5 dollar bill. Plz help. If I don't pay he take my good leg. Sincerlirino, Kripple J. Morospam
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
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