[Copypasta] Lazy SCP writers be like

Scp-████ is a ██████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ foundation staff ████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ D-3819 ██████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ among us ████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ genitals were obliterated ██████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████
April 2021
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Buddha

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠤⠒⠒⠢⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡯⠴⠶⠶⠒⠢⢇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡎⡤⠖⠂⡀⠒⡢⡌⢣⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣷⠯⢭⣵⠑⣯⡭⢹⡎⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⡆⠀⢠⣤⠄⠀⣸⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣷⢄⣈⣟⢁⢴⠿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⢴⠒⡝⠁⠬⠛⣚⡩⠔⠉⢻⠒⣦⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⢎⠁⡌⢰⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⡛⠀⡷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣾⣷⣠⠃⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⠀⢹⢰⠁⢳⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡿⠟⢿⢳⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡟⣶⣘⢞⡀⠘⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⡼⢺⣯⢹⢰⡏⠒⠒⠒⠊⠀⠐⢒⣾⣹⣸⢹⣾⡇⠀⢣⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣏⣾⠃⠀⣼⡟⣢⣀⡠⠤⣀⡰⢋⡝⣱⣹⠇⣿⣧⣴⠸⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⡏⡞⡆⢠⡇⣟⠭⡒⠭⠭⠤⠒⣡⠔⣽⡇⣂⣿⠟⠃⢀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢧⡇⡧⢫⠃⣷⣽⣒⣍⣉⣈⡩⢴⠾⡳⢡⢸⣛⣪⡗⢴⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⢃⠷⣸⣤⣯⢞⡥⢍⣐⣂⠨⠅⠊⡠⢃⣟⢏⠹⣎⣆⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⡠⠶⠚⠛⠛⠽⢹⡟⡖⢓⠿⣝⠓⠒⠒⠒⠭⢤⠗⣯⣩⣽⣿⠷⣾⣿⢷⣆⠀ ⠜⣌⠢⢄⣀⡀⠀⡞⢡⠘⢄⠑⠨⢉⣀⠉⣀⠄⢊⠜⡸⠛⣿⡍⠉⠉⠈⢁⠁⠇ ⠈⢯⡓⠦⠤⠬⠭⣵⠀⠱⢄⠑⠲⠤⠤⠤⠤⠒⢁⡔⠁⢠⣏⣡⣤⣤⡶⠜⣻⠃ ⠀⠈⠙⠛⠒⠛⠻⠯⠕⠤⣀⣉⣓⣒⣂⣒⣒⣊⣁⣠⠔⠛⠂⠒⠛⠓⠛⠚⠉⠀
January 2021

Marketing Director for Doritos messages Kripp

twitchquotes: ʜᴇʟʟᴏ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘᴀʀɪɴᴏ, ɪ ᴀᴍ ᴍᴀʀᴋᴇᴛɪɴɢ ᴅɪʀᴇᴄᴛᴏʀ ғᴏʀ ᴅᴏʀɪᴛᴏs, ᴄʜᴜᴄᴋ ᴏʀᴡᴇʟʟ ᴘʏʀɪɴᴏ, ᴀᴋᴀ ᴄ.ᴏ. ᴘʏʀɪɴᴏ. sɪɴᴄᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ ɴᴏᴡ ᴄᴀsᴜᴀʟ sᴇʟʟᴏᴜᴛ ᴡᴇ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ sᴘᴏɴsᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜ! ᴀʟʟ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴏ ɪs ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ᴄᴏᴍᴍᴇʀᴄɪᴀʟ ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀʀᴛᴏsɪs ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴇᴀᴛ ғʀɪᴛᴏ ᴀɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ sᴀʏ ɴᴏ ғʀɪᴛᴏʀɪɴᴏ ᴀɴᴅ ᴇᴀᴛ ᴅᴏʀɪᴛᴏ.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Undertale Sans full body

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February 2019

Response to the Vaporeon copypasta (Vaporeons are dangerous)

Hey guys did you know that in terms of water Pokemon inland, Vaporeon would be very capable of hunting grown humans? Their bodies being the size of a medium dog and weight are just enough to pounce on a man and throw him to the ground. Their bulky stats would allow them to shrug off and outlast any attempts by the human to fight them off, and that's not getting even into moves like Hydro Pump and Scald. But that's not all these water dogs have up their sleeves. Their bodies being so similar to water not only lets them hide in bodies of water and become nearly invisible to catch prey off guard, but allows them to enter the body through almost any orifice. Things do not get any better once a Vaporeon is inside of you. If asphyxiation doesn't kill you, the internal bleeding and displacement of internal organs certainly will. In addition, they are able to learn Charm, allowing them to take advantage of certain... desires humans may have and create even more opportunities to go in for the kill. But wait, there's more. Since Vaporeon is an omnivore, its cells would need to be able to digest proteins, such as those in meat. This only opens even more possibilities as to what these creatures are capable of.
March 2022

Pokemon

A chef explaining why air fryers are a scam on r/unpopularopinion

As a chef, it’s an insult to hear “air fryers are as good as frying”. Air fryers are fucking bullshit scams and are just convection ovens with an extra fan added. Seriously, pan searing or regular baking will always be better. I swear to shit Jared if I hear you compare fried chicken to air fried chicken one more time I’m gonna smack the gob out of you. Edit: I’m in danger, I never realized how deep the air fryer fandom goes. I will die on this hill Edit2: I’ll never stop upvoting and loving you all but… but I’m just gonna go cry about something totally different.. Edit3: i think id be a lot less upset if it was called an “extra air oven” as its a convection oven with extra fans. Edit4: if I had a dollar for every comment “you clearly don’t own an air fryer” I’d be able to put it towards a new toaster oven. Edit5: the chances of getting doxxed over kitchen appliances isn’t high.. but never zero. Edit6: apparently air fryers are taking my job? Sorry boys and girls, no more foi gras for the rich.
November 2021
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