[Copypasta] NFL football teams allow kickers that just miss

twitchquotes: I’ll never understand how college and NFL football teams allow kickers that just.... miss... kicks. I feel like there has to be pools of kickers in the USA that won’t miss simple kicks. Or snappers that won’t mess the snaps idk man it seems so SILLY. Would love opinions on this.
twitch chat
December 2019
From Ninja's tweet here: https://twitter.com/Ninja/status/1200830143721291778
What happened to this ad? :(
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Infinite poop

twitchquotes: Infinite poop. You sit on the toilet to poop, but the poop never stops coming out of your butt. You have to start flushing the toilet every two minutes to keep up. You try to pinch your butt closed but that makes your insides hurt. The poop accelerates. You call 911. The paramedics call for doctors. The doctors call for specialists. The story trends on Twitter. You turn down talk show appearances. Your septic tank fails. People form a cult. Your toilet is finished. Volunteers arrive with buckets and shovels. You are completely used to the smell. The poop accelerates. You are moved to a stepladder with a hole in the top step. The poop accelerates. The shovelers abandon the buckets and shovel directly out the window. The poop accelerates. A candlelight vigil forms around your house. One of the workers falls over and can't free himself. The poop accelerates. A priest knocks over the stepladder and tackles you out the window. You land in the pile. The poop accelerates. The force now propels you forward and upward. Vigil goers grab at your legs. The poop ignites from their candles. The Facebook live event hits 1 million viewers. The poop accelerates. You are 30 feet in the air. The fire engulfs the vigil and your house. 60 feet. The poop accelerates. The torrent underneath you is deafening. 5 million Facebook live viewers. You try to close up shop but your butthole disintegrated long ago. 120 feet up. Your house explodes. The poop accelerates. 1000 feet. You are now tracked on radar. You try to change your angle of ascent but you should have thought of that way earlier. The poop accelerates. 4,000 feet. NORAD upgrades to DEFCON 3. Concentric circles of fire engulf your city. The poop accelerates. You have broken the sound barrier. 30,000 feet. You no longer take in enough oxygen to sustain consciousness. 60,000 feet. CNN is reporting on all the world records you've broken. 200,000 feet. You are no longer alive. The poop accelerates. Your body disintegrates but your poop contrail remains. NASA can no longer track you. You break the light-speed barrier and we can no longer bear witness. The poop accelerates. Forever.
twitch chat
June 2019

Classic

Pepe flex

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣷⣶⣤⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣤⡶⠿⢘⣥⠢⠐⠗⣹⣿⣿⣿⣤⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣅⣂⠹⣪⣭⣥⣶⣿⡿⠿⢭⡻⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢀⣤⣤⡀⠄⣭⣧⣾⡿⠿⡋⢅⡪⠅⣢⣿⡿⠟⢁⣶⣶⣶⣤⣠⣄⡀⠄⠄ ⢠⣴⣿⣿⣟⣤⣤⡉⠭⣑⡨⢔⣊⣵⣶⡿⠛⢉⣴⡾⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣎⠻⣿⣦⡀ ⣼⣧⢻⣿⣿⣿⡈⣿⢰⢰⠌⣻⣭⣭⣶⡷⣠⡤⠶⠾⠛⢓⣒⣮⣝⡻⠸⣼⣿⣿ ⣿⣝⢶⣿⣿⣿⡃⠄⢏⣸⡄⢻⡿⣿⣟⣵⠶⢛⣛⣛⣛⡒⠦⣝⠿⣿⣦⡙⣿⡿ ⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣜⡿⣿⣄⢓⡘⠃⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⢹⣯⣶⣅⢺⣿⡇⠻⠁ ⠄⠈⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡾⣿⣷⣾⣝⣻⢿⣿⣿⣿⠸⣛⣿⡟⣢⢻⣿⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣭⣿⣿⣿⣦⣵⡾⢃⣾⣿⣿⢱⡿⣸⠋⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⢿⣿⣿⠻⣿⣿⡿⠿⣟⣛⣉⣰⣿⣿⣿⠇⠛⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠲⣝⣫⣓⡙⣿⣜⣛⣛⣛⣻⡯⠹⠛⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠙⠛⢻⡈⢿⡿⠟⠛⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
ascii art
June 2021

Pepe

Ben Shapiro Kung Fu Fighting

Let's say for a minute, that hypothetically, everyone was in fact kung fu fighting. Now statistically speaking of course, this is impossible. Now hypothetically if they were, hypothetically of course. Now, would they all be performing the same so called Kung Fu move? Statistically speaking that is highly unlikely. This would also, hypothetically, be quite dangerous if it were to actually occur. Coming from a medical official, my wife, who is a doctor, she says that hypothetically, this would be dangerous. So, logically, this would not happen. So in fact, there is no way, impossible even, that everybody was Kung Fu Fighting.
December 2020

Ben Shapiro

Kappa wave

twitchquotes: ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ:・ﾟ KAPPA WAVE!!:„ø¤º°¨ ¨°º¤KEEP THE KAPPANESS GOING ¸„ø¤º°¨ ¨°º¤øº LETS GO KAPPAS !¤¤º°¨¨°º¤øº¤ø„¸¸ø¤º°¨„ ø¤º°¨¨°º
twitch chat
October 2014

Everyone knows the crowd are all paid actors

twitchquotes: Everyone knows the crowd are all paid actors, but did you know the chat is all paid commenters too? I can prove it - all the other paid commenters in chat will also post this
twitch chat
March 2018
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