[Copypasta] NFL football teams allow kickers that just miss

twitchquotes: I’ll never understand how college and NFL football teams allow kickers that just.... miss... kicks. I feel like there has to be pools of kickers in the USA that won’t miss simple kicks. Or snappers that won’t mess the snaps idk man it seems so SILLY. Would love opinions on this.
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December 2019
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Lord Microsoft

10:43 PM, Microsoft Tower, Washington. A figure stands in shadow, red lights from the theistic ceiling flood the spacious hall. Along the sides, hallmark pieces of technology are proudly displayed on golden pedestals. The Xbox, Windows, Hololens; At the center of it all, the vaccine. "Microsoft Microbe Covid-19" the label on the syringe reads. A glowing substance can be seen sitting still inside. Monitors flicker to life at the end of the hall, each one showing the point of view of an innocent civilian. The light draws a silhouette of a man. His body, frail. His skin is leathery and rugged. Breathing apparatus cover his face, a cold green mist slowly spewing out. The grand door opens, humanoids armed with weapons drag an unkempt and furious man towards the being in shadow. They throw him to the floor, spit slathering the ground. "This is the last one?" the figure asks. "Yes, Lord Microsoft. all 4,607,423,673 other citizens have been accounted for." The rugged man looks upwards, his face bloodied and bruised. His eyes meet Lord Microsoft's. Puffed from tears, his eyes can only show one emotion: anger. "Bill Gates, you piece of shit. I swore to Samantha that if I ever-" "Silence, creature!" Lord Microsoft slaps him with the back of his hand. "I am lord Microsoft, and you will refer to me as such!" The guards grab the man, hoisting him up. "Now, let us delay no further. It has taken me years to get to this point, and I will not have my victory denied!" Lord Microsoft grabs the vaccine and primes it for injection. "Such a small thing, isn't it? Yet, it has afforded me the right to dominate all life on Earth. Covid was a blessing, not a curse." The man's eyes widened, he screams in retaliation, but the guards shut his mouth with force. Lord Microsoft pierces his flesh with the needle. A flourescent orange liquid can be seen coursing through his veins. He falls to the floor, his muscles tightening and constricting in unnatural fashion. His eyes bulge from his skull and he shouts in pain. He slumps over, and in only a moment he comes back to his feet. His pupils dilated and his skin, pale. "How may I serve you, my lord."
August 2021

COVID

Coronavirus

Teleporting again, son?

⢸⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⢸⠀ ⠀⢸⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⡷⠀ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀ ⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⡇ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀ ⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇Teleporting ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠖⠒⢸⠀ ⠀⢸⠒⠒⢤⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⡇again, son? ⢸⠀⠀⣀⢤⣼⣀⡠⢸⠀ ⠀⢸⠤⠤⠼⠤⡄⠀ ⠀⡇ ⢸⠀⠀⠑⡤⠤⡒⠒⢸⠀ ⠀⢸⠒⡊⠙⡏⠀⢀ ⠀⡇ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠇⠀⣀⣀⢸⠀⠀ ⢸⣀⣀⢀⠧⠟⠁⠀ ⡇ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠸⣀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀ ⢸⠈⢉⠟⠓⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢱⡖⢸⠀⠀ ⢸⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⢺⠧⢸⠀⠀ ⢸⢄⣀⠀⠀⣀⣀⠀⠀⡇ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⣠⠃⢸⠀⢸⠀⠀ ⢸⠀⠈⠉⡽⠿⠯⡆⠀⡇ ⢸⠀⠀⣰⠁⠀⢸⠀⢸⠀⠀ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⡇ ⢸⠀⠀⠣⠀⠀⢸⢄⢸⠀⠀ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⢸⠀⠀ ⢸⢇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡌⠀⢸⠀⠀ ⢸⠈⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠃⠀⢸⠀⠀ ⢸⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀ ⢸⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠷
March 2022

Hi Tyler, it's Andy from middle school

twitchquotes: Hi Tyler, it's Andy from middle school, the kid you bullied for 3 years. After I got transferred to another school I had huge self-esteem issues and never made any friends. I turned to league of legends, the only game that made me feel special at silver elo but when I found out you're the top league streamer I got flashbacks from when you bullied me. There is no justice in this world. I am going to end it all now I hope you are happy..
twitch chat
February 2019
Tyler1

Team Rocket Prepare For Trouble

twitchquotes: Prepare for trouble! And make it double! To protect the world from devastation! To unite all peoples within our nation! To denounce the evils of truth and love! To extend our reach to the stars above! Jessie! James! Team Rocket blasts off at the speed of light! Surrender now, or prepare to fight! Meowth! That's right!
twitch chat
August 2018

Pokemon Marathon 2018

I am not receiving 328.2 million votes on my election

twitchquotes: I have noticed that, although America has 328.2 million people, I am not receiving 328.2 million votes on my election. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to vote for me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to vote for me. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
twitch chat
November 2020

2020 US Election

Classic

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