[Copypasta] Hello crip, this is uggernakkerweer-taguanga from Thailand

twitchquotes: Hello crip, this is uggernakkerweer-taguanga from Thailand. I'm contacting you about transitioning to the female gender. Your appointment has been pushed forward and we're expecting you tomorrow. P.S bring a jar for your p***s, you might want to ridicule it after...
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp
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My son is learning Twitch speak

twitchquotes: Kripp I need advice. My son watches a lot of you, and he doesn’t speak English but is learning from chat. He's starting using terms like "pog","jabaited", and "kappa,” but its gotten to the point where every sentence is Twitchspeak. At dinner my daughter was talking about how she got accepted to college, and my son said "pog you, easy clap". I told him to talk normally to his family, and he replied "Weird champ, normies omegaLOL." I blacklisted twitch and now my son is hysterical, what to do.
twitch chat
December 2019
Kripp

boo every1 im Gohst!!!

twitchquotes: boo every1 im Gohst!!!!!!! holds up ecto-spork my name is spooky but u can call me t3h GoHST P3ngin3 oF sp00kyness!!!!!!!! b00!…as u can see (0r cant iM inVIsible) im very Sp00key!!!! thats why iM came here, 2 HauNT random ppl like you! _… im 13,000 years old (im S00key 4 my age doe) i like 2 bee Sp00key like Salad F1ng3rs w/ my GirlGHostFr1nd (im bi-ectoplasmic if u dont like it deal w/it) its our favorite Way 2 Sp00k!!! bcuz its SOOOO Creepy!!!! shes sp00kEY 2 of course s0 w3 want 2 HaunT random ppl =) like they say the more GohSTS the sP00OkYER!!!! lol…neways i hope 2 make Y0U ScarED so give me lots of wAYS 2 Sp00k U out!!!!!
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Dawg u a crip or a blood fool

twitchquotes: so i was walking down the road today and 2 black hoodlums approached me. They asked "dawg u a crip or a blood fool". Startled, i muttered "I'm a kripp". The power of morosan rushed through my body, i raised my donger and blew both of the hoodlums away with 100% pure orange juice from concentrate. Value.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

I think about Kripp when I touch my wiener

twitchquotes: ヽ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ﾉ Roses are red, Weed is greener, I think about Kripp, when I touch my wiener. ヽ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ﾉ
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp

Popsicle burglaries

twitchquotes: Local police are baffled by a string of strange popsicle burglaries that have taken place over the past few days. The thief appears to be ignoring cash, jewelry, and other valuables, only taking sugary treats from the residents' freezers. Police have yet to apprehend the burglar, but have several reports of a suspicious lanky figure with poor hygiene seen near the crime scenes muttering about "value." Any further information on the popsicle bandit should be reported immediately.
twitch chat
August 2016
Kripp
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