[Copypasta] John "D" Dos, inventor of the DDOS

twitchquotes: Greetings Kripp, it is I, John "D" Dos, inventor of the DDOS. It has come to my attention that children are using my invention for malicious reasons. Please send me your address, phone number, credit card and social security numbers so I can help you fix this problem.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
I used to be a real ad
More Kripp Copypastas

Just a little longer and i'll be free...

twitchquotes: "Alright, time for a quick bathroom break. Prime it up guys." I say as i take off my headphones. Once i'm out of camera view, i break down. The tears won't stop. "Goddamn it, i can't do this shit anymore." Rania puts her hand on my shoulder, "Just a few more years, then you'll be able to retire." She never understood. She never had to spend the hours playing this fucking card game over and over every night. But she's right, i have to keep going. Just a little longer and i'll be free...
twitch chat
September 2020
Kripp

Hearthstone

Obey the call of Kripp'Thuzad

twitchquotes: ༼ ºل͟º ༽ Minions, (ง •̀_•́)ง servants, <:::::[]=¤༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ soldiers of the cold dark, obey the call of ( ͡ʘ╭͜ʖ╮͡ʘ) Kripp'Thuzad ( ͡ʘ╭͜ʖ╮͡ʘ)!!!
twitch chat
March 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

First, some perspective. I'm a PURIFY-PRIEST player

twitchquotes: First, some perspective. I'm a PURIFY-PRIEST player. If you don't know what that is, it's not important, just know it's a deck I'm very passionate about and that I've played for three years now. That's right, I've played the same deck for the years, and it's never gotten stale. Why? Because the enjoyment comes from mastering the deck, from fine tuning my decision making, my sequencing, from learning how to play around the latest and greatest shenanigans.
twitch chat
August 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

What if we make Firelands Portal a common?

twitchquotes: "How did Kripp get 12 wins?" Ben Brode demanded at the board meeting. "You were supposed to be monitoring him, Charlie." "Sorry, I must've fallen asleep. He was streaming some boring action-RPG earlier today." Ben Brode frowned. "The salt shortage is cutting into our profits. We're going to need a solution, quick." Sarah raised her hand. "What if we make Firelands Portal a common?"
twitch chat
August 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

Bowling simulator: E-Bowler

twitchquotes: Hello my name is Kenneth Jizbombski, president of Viral Games, Inc. Recently sales of our most popular Bowling simulator "E-Bowler" have plummeted. Please help my small company by going out and getting E-Bowler any way that you can. I want E-Bowler to spread infecting people with it's incredible gameplay!
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp
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