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1593 copypastas found.

I'm leaving this community, jerma can't keep getting away with this

I'm leaving this community, jerma can't keep getting away with this After jerma's recent apology video, it seemed like the only thing he cared about before going live was his looks. He came onto stream and honestly seemed slightly drunk. He proceeded to spend time talking about how fun it was to 'woohoo' death. He used another term, but due to me actually caring about the people here, I decided it's better to censor myself. He did briefly apologize for the Amelia situation, but that twitlonger she wrote really exposed the absolute horror of being stood up and finding your date in bed with the reaper of souls himself. I think the worst part of the apology was how he kept saying "that isn't who I am" but proceeded to fall asleep once again at the end. Also I'm fairly certain he was still on the toilet. I heard a few weird noises. I really hope this psycho gets banned. p.s. I'm starting to think the 'jerma speared and killed a man' conspiracy theory may have had been real.
March 2022
Jerma985

Navy Seal Copypasta in uwu

What t-t-the fuck did you just fucking s-say about me, you little bitch!? I'll have you knyow I gwaduated t-top of my cwass in t-t-the Navy Seaws, and I've been invowved in nyumewous secwet raids on Aw-Quaeda, and I have uvw 300 confirmed k-kiwws. I am twainyed in gorilla wawfawe and I'm t-t-the t-top snyiper in t-t-the entiwe US armed forces. You awe n-nyothing t-to me but just anyothew tawget. I wiww wipe you t-t-the fuck out with pwecision t-t-the wikes of which has nyevew been seen befowe on this Eawth, mawk my fucking words. You think you c-can get away with saying that shit t-to me uvw t-t-the I-Intewnyet?!?1 Think again, fuckew. As w-w-we speak I am contacting my secwet nyetwork of spies acwoss t-t-the USA and youw IP is b-being twaced right nyow so you better pwepawe fow t-t-the stowm, maggot. T-The stowm that wipes out t-t-the pathetic little thing you caww youw life. Y-You'we fucking dead, kid. I c-can be anywhewe, anytime, and I c-can k-kiww you in uvw seven hundwed w-ways, and t-t-that's just with my bawe hands. N-Nyot only am I extensivewy twainyed in unyawmed combat, but I have access t-to t-t-the entiwe awsenyaw of t-t-the Unyited States M-Marinye Cowps and I wiww use i-it t-to its fuww extent t-to wipe youw misewabwe a-ass off t-t-the face of t-t-the continyent, you little shit. If only you could have k-knyown what unhowy retribution youw little "clever" comment was about t-to bring d-d-down upon y-you, maybe you w-wouwd have h-hewd youw fucking tongue. But you couwdn't, you didn't, and nyow you're paying t-t-the pwice, you g-goddamn i-idiot. I wiww shit fury all uvw you and you wiww dwown in i-it. Y-You'we fucking dead, kiddo.
April 2022

Navy Seal

NFT's are racist

Well, believe me, it's crystal clear: NFT's are racist. You don't believe this, huh? Well, I'm going to explain it to you. First off, the name. The The Bored Ape Yacht Club wants you to believe that "NFT" stands for Non-fungible token. This name might be an accurate name for the images of apes that are sold, but it also stands for "n****r(s) for trade". This is absolutely not okay. NFT's have been fully covered on national news and they usual tell you that images of apes are being traded. What they don't tell you, is that those apes usually have big lips, golden chains and rings and contains an awful lot of stereotypes. NFT's use apes as a methaphor for the stereotypical black communty. This can be explained: NFT's were invented on 4chan. 4chan is the breedplace of 99% of evil on the internet. The /pol/ communty, already infamous for it's racism and anti-semitism. created NFT's because they want to insult black people. Using complex trading methods on specific websites on the internet and needing a fast connection to the world wide web they try to exclude as many black people (mainly the African continent). It even goes beyond that. Neo-Nazi artists, like Ben Garisson and StoneToss have recently used this way of trading to sell their art full of hate. They can do this because NFT's are completely anonymous. Republicans and right-wingers say they screenshot NFT's. This is not an harmless joke, they try to demonstrate how 'worthless' NFT's (abbreviation for: N****r(s) for Trade) are. Stop NFT's. Make a hashtag and cancel 'em. Cut off people that trade NFT's. Stop racism.
January 2022

NFTs

Cryptocurrency

Not your typical 12 year old ;)

twitchquotes: I'm twelve but everyone says I am very mature for my age and say I'm basically 16. Also, I love real bands like AC/DC and punk rock like green day so I'm not your typical 12 year old. ;)
twitch chat
December 2017

2018 MONTHLY PLEB TEST

twitchquotes: PLEASE COPY PASTE THIS FOR YOUR MONTHLY PLEB TEST: raniaEZ ? amazW ? krippW ? eloiseE ? trumpW ? savjzW ? reynadW ? toastyW ? kolentoW ? reckWut ? bajW ? btsKotlW ? dewW ? emjaneW ? forsenW ? thijsULU ? omgYay ? eslGob ? mitchW ? lirikThump ? qtpHAHAA ? singsingFcuk ? bjergW ? sodaW ? btsGodzW ? liftGasm ? goldyW ? taymooW ? rtzW ? admiralW ? envySwag ? wtrWtR ? danFat ? merliniPolice ? sumE ? fluffyW ? ratW ? purpleCx ? tyler1C ? syndiRage ? Pleb test passed
twitch chat
October 2018

Last week I saw Wardell while in line at the bank

twitchquotes: Last week I saw Wardell while in line at the bank. He was wearing 13 rolexes and a chain made out of protein powder so I asked how he had so much money. He said "WATCH THIS", pulled out a glock and robbed the bank for $31,203. Then he double updrafted and dashed out of the store...
twitch chat
June 2021
WARDELL

Valorant

What's the best way to cash out without creating a huge ruckus?

For example, lets just say that I theoretically put $4000 into crypto, watched it quadruple and now I theoretically had $16k in crypto. Now lets imagine that I theoretically put half of that so $8000 into this funny haha dog coin called Shiba Inu or something in August 2020 and just forgot about it cause it's funny to put a lot of money into stupid jokes. But theoretically lets say that it turned to $8 billion in a bit over a year and now I want to cash out and move it to my bank account. How would I theoretically go on about this safely if I theoretically had this much money in crypto, in theory of course.
November 2021

Cryptocurrency

My 86-year-old grandmother replied "OK, boomer" to my boomer aunt in an argument

Backstory: I live round the corner from my gran and visit her often so thanks to me she has a vague grasp of what memes are and how they work. The other day when I was round at hers and she asked what memes were popular at the moment so I told her about the "OK boomer" meme. She knew what boomers were already so she was able to get the concept of this meme fairly easily. Fast forward to today, I'm over at my gran's again, and she's on the phone to my aunt. They got into a disagreement over a slightly racist comment my aunt made the other day (my gran is very much against racism) and my gran eventually just said "OK boomer" and hung up. I've never been so proud. UPDATE: So I told my gran about this post and the reaction it got - she said she's glad that so many of you enjoyed her little joke and that it proves she's still young at heart. I agree with that 100%.
December 2021

So you're going by "Trihex" now nerd?

twitchquotes: So you're going by "Trihex" now nerd? Haha whats up douche bag, it's Bradley from PE Class. Remember me? Me and the guys used to pick you last in kickball. Sorry you were just complete trash lol. I can see not much has changed. Remember how everyone would back up when I got up to the plate? Yeah, that's because I have a fat cock and super saiyan legs. Everyone still respects me because I was born an ultimate chad. I guess some things never change huh loser? Nice catching up lol. Pathetic...
twitch chat
January 2021
trihex

Empirre is a terrible streamer

twitchquotes: Empirre is a terrible streamer and should be banned from twitch and this subreddit. Stop calling him australian xqc, you can't compare anything or anyone to this man. He makes hitler look good. On top of all of this, Empirrre broke into my house, killed my wife and daughter, stole all my life savings and burned the place down while I was at work. I honestly don't know what to do with my life anymore, he's taken everything from me. Love his streams tho keep it up empiL
twitch chat
July 2020
Empirrre

Lockwood Streets 112

twitchquotes: An MR-RL time. Me and Marc Rutzou. Me and fucking Marc Rutzou. That's fucking right. I skipped 1:13. I am a fucking legend. I've never SEEN a 1:13 and I never fucking will. 1:12 baby. Til the day I fucking die. YES!!! Bout time I get a fucking lucky break in this fucking game. MotherFUCKERS! And I CLUTCHED the goddamn grenade launcher. That's FUCKING right. Yeah it's this one. Right here IT'S THIS ONE! My insane pace. Right here! THIS is the 1:12. Right here. YES!!! It's fucking it. I'mma have to jus - I'mma have to find the actual whole vid of it and I'mma have to get it. DUUUUUUUDE WHAT A RUSH! WHAT A RUUUUUUSH! Watch this. Watch when I get the grenade launcher. (sorry) Look at that. See how fast my pace is? Right in the FUCKING HEAD!!! YEEEAAAHHH! Got a FUCKING 1:12 baby. That's RIGHT! You see that CLUTCHNESS? I AM FUCKING CCC-LUTCH! Look at this fucking line I take. I'm like, YEAH baby. Let's fucking DO this. I wait I wait I wait... Right when he starts firing to try to backboost me. The double. Body armor. Two quick ones. I already know I'm gettin' there on the perfect line. LOOK AT THE FUCKING PACE! FIFTY! FOURTY-NINE! MWH FOURTY-SEVEN BABY! That's FUCKING right. That's FUCKING IT! Fucking PUMPED watching this one again. I waited the cinema too 'cause i said oh my God it might be 1:12. And it FUCKING IS!!! IT FUCKING IS baby. YEAH!!! Look at me typing you guys. You guys didn't believe me. I am typing a storm. Dude I FUCKING just got Streets 1:12! It's not fucking comin' off. YES!!! I FUCKING DID IT THAT'S RIGHT! I SKIPPED 1:13 I'M A LEGEND. I AM A FUCKING LEGEND. I'm a FUCKING legend. (YES!) I am a fucking legend.
twitch chat
May 2020

Kripp saved my marriage

twitchquotes: I was going through a rough time in my marriage where nothing seemed to arouse me anymore. Things had gone stale between me and my wife in bed and divorce seemed inevitable. But then I discovered Kripp's stream and everything changed. There's just something about that vegan bald head that does something to me, and before I knew it my libido was back. I now go at it with my wife at the sounds of "Fuck!" and "Topdeck Flamestrike!" to boost my vigor. Thank you Kripp for saving my marriage.
twitch chat
November 2019
Kripp

Hearthstone

I'm Tanner jr. btw!

twitchquotes: Hi Kripp, I just turned 5 years old! My dad says I'm pretty good at this game at that I should watch your stream to learn how not to play bad. He says he stole your high school girlfriend. Oh yeah, I'm Tanner Jr. btw! Nice to meet you!
twitch chat
May 2019
Kripp

Tanner from High School

boosted.dll

twitchquotes: Hi Micheal, it's Mark from ScreenColor LLC! We have identified your grey screen problem as being located in two files called "feed.dll" and "boosted.dll", you can safely delete them and it should be good!
twitch chat
December 2017
imaqtpie

League of Legends

The ogrelord. Shrek.

November 2014

Shrek

Lego City copypasta collection

Prepare for landing at LEGO city airport. The giant passenger plane has just arrived. Lower the luggage, and prepare for boarding. Hey! Build the stairs, board the passengers, and take off! The airport collection from LEGO city. There is a traffic jam at LEGO city. Stop! The main bridge is out and needs to be repaired! Hey! Bring in the giant crane, rig the crane, lift up the heavy road and help your city! The construction collection from LEGO city. There's a new fire station at LEGO city! Build the new fire station! Start the fire trucks! And rush out the garage! Hey! Open the garage door! Race to the rescue! And save your city! The new fire collection from LEGO city. The big container ship arrives at the new LEGO city harbour! Load the ship, with the big harbour crane! Hey! Build the crane, lift the heavy containers! Load the ship! And set out from the harbour! The new transport collection from LEGO city. Emergency in LEGO city harbour! The big container ship is on fire! Quick! To the fire station! You can launch the new fire boat! Hey! You can build the fire boat! Attach the motor! And rush out to put out the fire! The new fireboat is fast! Powerful! And perfect for the job! You can save the day! With the new fire boat in LEGO city! Batteries not included. Each set sold separately.
December 2020

Lego City

Don't take it personally

twitchquotes: hey i just want to let you guys know i really want to win and if i say something about your skill its just because im frustrated and i dont want any of you guys to take it personally but ive been having some rough games
twitch chat
May 2017

League of Legends

Unrealized losses

She runs her hand through your thinning hair and laughs. “What?” you ask absentmindedly. You’re looking at Futures, and you’re surprised to see them red. “I want you to play with me.” She says it playfully, but the single ounce of you that isn’t totally aloof realizes she said this in earnest. And so you do. You throw your phone, and you pin her to the sofa, then the ground. You both roll about, wrestling, like lion cubs. Kissing, lightly biting. Sometime later, you both stop, breathing hard. She grabs an open bottle of red wine, and you pass it back and forth. Eventually she says, “I want to do that more.” But you’ve already found your phone again to check Futures. Still red. “Uh huh,” you say, distracted. She stares at you for a long moment, but you don’t realize it. Silently, she gets up and goes to bed, and you don’t say a word because you don’t notice. She hasn’t left you yet, but she will soon. Unrealized losses.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

YEP COCK is modern expression of bacchic spirit

twitchquotes: Those plebs simply dont get it, all those who oppose YEP COCK are nothing more than a band of simpletons. YEP COCK is modern expression of bacchic spirit. YEP COCKER entering a chat is like priest of Dionysus Enorches, wielding a thyris and bearing wreath of grapevine. As the elder priest leading cultists in state of bacchic haze to sacred Eleusis YEP COCKER announces the unbridled joy of YEP COCKERY by the simple sign of YEP COCK which lets everyone forget of their quotidian struggles.
twitch chat
June 2020

There are too many people that call themselves what they are not

There are too many people that call themselves what they are not, including on this very server. The design industry seems the worst, but I'm sure its the same in other professions. Everyone with 3 months of some Google class, suddenly calls themself an UI/UX Designer, while the craft (especially UX) takes years to develop. I also know a lot of professional designers that have 20+ years of experience, and still don't call themselves experts. Lucky for us, the professional market also sees through those fake designers. So, hone your craft, become better, and stop calling yourselves UI/UX Designers, when you are not. Or Full Stack Developer, when you only do HTML and CSS. Or Open Heart Surgeon, when you are only a masseuse.
July 2022
Text-to-Speech Playing