[Copypasta] Why Harry Potter should have carried a 1911

Ok, this has been driving me crazy for seven movies now, and I know you're going to roll your eyes, but hear me out: Harry Potter should have carried a 1911. Here's why: Think about how quickly the entire WWWIII (Wizarding-World War III) would have ended if all of the good guys had simply armed up with good ol' American hot lead. Basilisk? Let's see how tough it is when you shoot it with a .470 Nitro Express. Worried about its Medusa-gaze? Wear night vision goggles. The image is light-amplified and re-transmitted to your eyes. You aren't looking at it--you're looking at a picture of it. Imagine how epic the first movie would be if Harry had put a breeching charge on the bathroom wall, flash-banged the hole, and then went in wearing NVGs and a Kevlar-weave stab-vest, carrying a SPAS-12. And have you noticed that only Europe seems to a problem with Deatheaters? Maybe it's because Americans have spent the last 200 years shooting deer, playing GTA: Vice City, and keeping an eye out for black helicopters over their compounds. Meanwhile, Brits have been cutting their steaks with spoons. Remember: gun-control means that Voldemort wins. God made wizards and God made muggles, but Samuel Colt made them equal. Now I know what you're going to say: "But a wizard could just disarm someone with a gun!" Yeah, well they can also disarm someone with a wand (as they do many times throughout the books/movies). But which is faster: saying a spell or pulling a trigger? Avada Kedavra, meet Avtomat Kalashnikova. Imagine Harry out in the woods, wearing his invisibility cloak, carrying a .50bmg Barrett, turning Deatheaters into pink mist, scratching a lightning bolt into his rifle stock for each kill. I don't think Madam Pomfrey has any spells that can scrape your brains off of the trees and put you back together after something like that. Voldemort's wand may be 13.5 inches with a Phoenix-feather core, but Harry's would be 0.50 inches with a tungsten core. Let's see Voldy wave his at 3,000 feet per second. Better hope you have some Essence of Dittany for that sucking chest wound. I can see it now...Voldemort roaring with evil laughter and boasting to Harry that he can't be killed, since he is protected by seven Horcruxes, only to have Harry give a crooked grin, flick his cigarette butt away, and deliver what would easily be the best one-liner in the entire series: "Well then I guess it's a good thing my 1911 holds 7+1." And that is why Harry Potter should have carried a 1911.
August 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
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The year is 2088, Kripp lays tattered on his deathbed

twitchquotes: The year is 2088, Kripp lays tattered on his deathbed, his organs absolutely ravaged from years of veganism. He turns to his computer monitor for one last look at his beloved twitch chat only to see a bunch of weebs, emote spam and copy pasta. Tears fill his lifeless, vegan eyes. Rania is at his side as he draws on all his power to take his last breath and say the only enlightening words that come to mind.. "K"
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Kripp

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โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–“โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–“โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–“โ–„โ–‘ โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–Œ โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–“ โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“ โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–“(โ—)โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–“โ–“(โ—)โ–’โ–“ โ–ˆโ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€
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September 2016

AMOUGUS SO SUSSY WUSSY

เถž AMOUGUS SO SUSSY WUSSY shut you fucking mouth its a dead game i cant even say the word sus without a person saying AMOUNGUS i cant even DESCRIBE how my life has changed from this because if i go on the internet SUS FUNNY OOH i swear next time i hear or see it i will shit on your mom
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Hello Kripp, I am Pappargoth the Ancient

twitchquotes: โ•ญ(โ—•โ—• โ—‰เทดโ—‰ โ—•โ—•)โ•ฎ Hello Kripp, I am Pappargoth the Ancient, an Alien from the Planet Hardcore. We sent you to Earth, where your hardcore-ness would conquer the planet. We see you have failed in the mission and become casual.
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Kripp

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๐ŸŽ‰HAPPY๐ŸฅณPRESIDICKS๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ˜ซDAY๐Ÿ˜›๐Ÿ’ฆ2๏ธโƒฃ9๏ธโƒฃ0๏ธโƒฃ years โฑago ๐Ÿ—“our ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘fav๐Ÿ˜pounding๐Ÿงˆ๐Ÿ‘Š๐Ÿป๐Ÿ˜˜ father ๐Ÿ‘ด๐Ÿป๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ’ฆand๐Ÿ˜Œmain๐Ÿฅบ๐Ÿ’ฏbitch๐Ÿ’โ€โ™€๏ธ๐ŸคญWHOREge๐Ÿ˜ŽWashingSLUT๐Ÿฅณ๐Ÿ’…๐Ÿพcame๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆinto๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿ‘Œthis๐ŸŒŽWORLD๐ŸŒto โœŒ๏ธbecum๐Ÿ’ฆ ๐Ÿคซthe๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ1ST๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธpresiDICK๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ†๐Ÿคžof๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿฅณthe๐Ÿ’…United๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธSluts๐Ÿ‘™Of๐ŸคญAmerica๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€๐ŸŒˆsend๐Ÿ“ง๐Ÿ“ฒthisโžก๏ธto ๐Ÿ”Ÿof๐Ÿ˜‰the๐Ÿ˜ฉsluttiest๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆpatriots๐Ÿ”ž๐Ÿ‘™๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธyou๐Ÿ‘‡know๐Ÿค—if you get ๐Ÿ”Ÿ back๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜youโ€™re๐Ÿ‘invited to the โœ๏ธ๐Ÿ“constitutional ๐Ÿ“โœ๏ธCOCKus๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ’ฆ if you get 5๏ธโƒฃ back ๐Ÿคญ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ’โ€โ™€๏ธ youโ€™re a Mt. Rushmore ๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿปโ€๐ŸฆณWHORE๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘™๐Ÿ’ฆif you ๐Ÿ‘คget 0๏ธโƒฃ back ๐Ÿ’”๐Ÿ˜นno ๐Ÿšซ presidick๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ’ฆ for ๐Ÿคญyou ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿปโ€๐Ÿฆณ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ
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