[Copypasta] Why Harry Potter should have carried a 1911

Ok, this has been driving me crazy for seven movies now, and I know you're going to roll your eyes, but hear me out: Harry Potter should have carried a 1911. Here's why: Think about how quickly the entire WWWIII (Wizarding-World War III) would have ended if all of the good guys had simply armed up with good ol' American hot lead. Basilisk? Let's see how tough it is when you shoot it with a .470 Nitro Express. Worried about its Medusa-gaze? Wear night vision goggles. The image is light-amplified and re-transmitted to your eyes. You aren't looking at it--you're looking at a picture of it. Imagine how epic the first movie would be if Harry had put a breeching charge on the bathroom wall, flash-banged the hole, and then went in wearing NVGs and a Kevlar-weave stab-vest, carrying a SPAS-12. And have you noticed that only Europe seems to a problem with Deatheaters? Maybe it's because Americans have spent the last 200 years shooting deer, playing GTA: Vice City, and keeping an eye out for black helicopters over their compounds. Meanwhile, Brits have been cutting their steaks with spoons. Remember: gun-control means that Voldemort wins. God made wizards and God made muggles, but Samuel Colt made them equal. Now I know what you're going to say: "But a wizard could just disarm someone with a gun!" Yeah, well they can also disarm someone with a wand (as they do many times throughout the books/movies). But which is faster: saying a spell or pulling a trigger? Avada Kedavra, meet Avtomat Kalashnikova. Imagine Harry out in the woods, wearing his invisibility cloak, carrying a .50bmg Barrett, turning Deatheaters into pink mist, scratching a lightning bolt into his rifle stock for each kill. I don't think Madam Pomfrey has any spells that can scrape your brains off of the trees and put you back together after something like that. Voldemort's wand may be 13.5 inches with a Phoenix-feather core, but Harry's would be 0.50 inches with a tungsten core. Let's see Voldy wave his at 3,000 feet per second. Better hope you have some Essence of Dittany for that sucking chest wound. I can see it now...Voldemort roaring with evil laughter and boasting to Harry that he can't be killed, since he is protected by seven Horcruxes, only to have Harry give a crooked grin, flick his cigarette butt away, and deliver what would easily be the best one-liner in the entire series: "Well then I guess it's a good thing my 1911 holds 7+1." And that is why Harry Potter should have carried a 1911.
August 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Jeremy of the Marvel Future Fight Team here!

twitchquotes: Hey everyone, Jeremy of the Marvel Future Fight Team here! PermaSmug We are glad to see chat loves the game. You can download it for free for IOS of Andrioid right now and get 500 gems for free! Want to play more? No problem! Just use this πŸ‘‰ πŸ’³ and you may continue!
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

sellout

Why are Chess Players so Racist?

Every time I here a chess player talk about race, they always say stuff like β€œI’m so glad that I am white this game” or β€œHe was black, so he didn’t stand much of a chance that game”. Seriously, what is up with this blatant racism guys??? It’s getting so bad I am even hearing this sort of shit from some Indian players as well. Your color doesn’t mean anything, you are still the same person!!!!!!
August 2021

Chess

Ultra EDM dance

twitchquotes: ┏(-_-)┓┏(-_-)β”›β”—(-_- )β”“β”—(-_-)┛┏(-_-) ┏(-_-)┓┏(-_-)β”›β”—(-_- )β”“β”—(-_-)┛┏(-_-)┓┏(-_-)β”›β”—(-_- )β”“β”—(-_-)┛┏(-_-) ┏(-_-)┓┏(-_-)┛┏(-_-)┓┏(-_-)β”›β”—(-_- )β”“β”—(-_-)┛┏(-_-) ┏(-_-)┓┏(-_-)β”›β”—(-_- )β”“β”—(-_-)┛┏(-_-)┓┏(-_-)β”›β”—(-_- )β”“β”—(-_-)┛┏(-_-) ┏(-_-)┓┏(-_-)β”›
twitch chat
March 2016
Ultra

100% chance to have less FREEDOM AND LIBERTY

twitchquotes: (ʘ͑ Κ–Νœ ʘ͑ ΰΈ‡) I AM EUROFAG. I have a 100% chance to have less FREEDOM AND LIBERTY than a citizen of the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA (ʘ͑ Κ–Νœ ʘ͑ ΰΈ‡)
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

EU vs NA

Logan Paul Japanese Forest

ay yo what's up #logang today we're going to be heading in the #japanesesuicideforest here in japan, but first of all make sure to smash that like button, share this video, and subscribe for more vlogs like this one right here, also make sure to follow me on twitter, instagram google +, and like my page on facebook and pintrest. before heading in here i just wanna say suicide is not a joke but is that a dead body i'm not fucking with ya'll let's get the camera in there. as you can see this person is dead if you don't want to end up like him make sure you stay subscribed you know he probably ain't have no friends but if your in the #logang you know logan is your best friend haha chilling anyways thanks for watching guys and i won't be monetizing this video but make sure to check out my merch in the description, and dont forget to like share and subscribe and peace out #logang haha
December 2018
Text-to-Speech Playing