Ok, this has been driving me crazy for seven movies now, and I know you're going to roll your eyes, but hear me out: Harry Potter should have carried a 1911.
Here's why:
Think about how quickly the entire WWWIII (Wizarding-World War III) would have ended if all of the good guys had simply armed up with good ol' American hot lead.
Basilisk? Let's see how tough it is when you shoot it with a .470 Nitro Express. Worried about its Medusa-gaze? Wear night vision goggles. The image is light-amplified and re-transmitted to your eyes. You aren't looking at it--you're looking at a picture of it.
Imagine how epic the first movie would be if Harry had put a breeching charge on the bathroom wall, flash-banged the hole, and then went in wearing NVGs and a Kevlar-weave stab-vest, carrying a SPAS-12.
And have you noticed that only Europe seems to a problem with Deatheaters? Maybe it's because Americans have spent the last 200 years shooting deer, playing GTA: Vice City, and keeping an eye out for black helicopters over their compounds. Meanwhile, Brits have been cutting their steaks with spoons. Remember: gun-control means that Voldemort wins. God made wizards and God made muggles, but Samuel Colt made them equal.
Now I know what you're going to say: "But a wizard could just disarm someone with a gun!" Yeah, well they can also disarm someone with a wand (as they do many times throughout the books/movies). But which is faster: saying a spell or pulling a trigger?
Avada Kedavra, meet Avtomat Kalashnikova.
Imagine Harry out in the woods, wearing his invisibility cloak, carrying a .50bmg Barrett, turning Deatheaters into pink mist, scratching a lightning bolt into his rifle stock for each kill. I don't think Madam Pomfrey has any spells that can scrape your brains off of the trees and put you back together after something like that. Voldemort's wand may be 13.5 inches with a Phoenix-feather core, but Harry's would be 0.50 inches with a tungsten core. Let's see Voldy wave his at 3,000 feet per second. Better hope you have some Essence of Dittany for that sucking chest wound.
I can see it now...Voldemort roaring with evil laughter and boasting to Harry that he can't be killed, since he is protected by seven Horcruxes, only to have Harry give a crooked grin, flick his cigarette butt away, and deliver what would easily be the best one-liner in the entire series:
"Well then I guess it's a good thing my 1911 holds 7+1."
And that is why Harry Potter should have carried a 1911.
What happened to this ad? :(
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Angry Bee
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Slap Chop commercial script
Now that I have your attention let me show you this handy new kitchen tool, the Slap Chop! You’re going to be in a great mood all day, because you’re going be slapping your troubles away with the Slap Chop. Now, look here’s a potato. One slap you got big chunks for stew, two slaps home fries in a second. And, look at this when you add a mushroom: the more you do it, the finer it gets you don’t have to switch any blades.
Now, you love salad -- you hate making it. You know you hate making salads -- that’s why you don’t have any salad in your diet. Watch this one slap... salad! I love Pizza too, but once in a while get the veggies in, at least throw it on top of the pizza.
You’re going to change your eating habits. Soup, Coleslaw, stuff we want, 5 seconds. 4 or 5 seconds, it's done. This thing, this tuna looks boring. Stop having a boring tuna, stop having a boring life. Add this tuna putting it in like this now you’re going to have a nice, tuna, salad. Look at this you’re going to have an exciting life now.
Look here’s a hard boiled egg. One chop, you add the pickle; you add the green onion. And what you can do is mix things together add the ham and you’re going to love this. You don’t have time to make breakfast, breakfast to go.
You’re going to love my nuts. Watch this: almonds, walnuts. Comes with a cover so you can do everything in the cover. Alright, or you can do it on the board, whatever you like. So easy, one finger, if I can do it with one finger you guys can do it with your whole hand. Kids can do it. You know what they charge at the ice cream store? A dollar for toppings at the ice cream store. Add a couple cookies if you want. So, you can make it for 10 cents. Stop throwing your money away. You know not only nuts what about fruit? Put a mango, look at that isn’t that beautiful on your ice cream.
Kripp I am a young beautiful Korean girl
twitchquotes:
ʜᴇʟʟᴏ, ɪ ᴀᴍ ᴀ ʏᴏᴜɴɢ ʙᴇᴀᴜᴛɪғᴜʟ ᴋᴏʀᴇᴀɴ ɢɪʀʟ (>‿◠)✌ ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴊᴜsᴛ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ ʟᴇᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜ ʏᴏᴜ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏ ᴅᴀʏ ᴀɴᴅ ɢɪɢɢʟᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴍʏsᴇʟғ ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ᴏғ ʜᴏᴡ ɢᴏᴏᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ ᴀᴛ ɢᴀᴍᴇs ♡‿‿♡ ɪ ʜᴏᴘᴇ ᴏɴᴇ ᴅᴀʏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ ᴛᴇᴀᴄʜ ᴍᴇ sᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)
twitch chat
Kripp
Fortnite default dance in text form
twitchquotes:
pulls both arms outwards in front of my chest and pumps them behind my back, repeats this motion in a smaller range of motion down to my hips two times once more all while sliding my legs in a faux walking motion, claps my hands together in front of me while both my knees knock together, pumps my arms downward, pronating my wrists and abducting my fingers outward while crossing my legs back and forth, repeats this motion again two times while keeping my shoulders low and hunching over, does finger gun with right hand with left hand bent on my hip while looking directly forward and putting my left leg forward then crossing my arms and leaning back a little while bending my knees at an angle
twitch chat
Fortnite Default Dance
Fortnite
Donging through the snow
twitchquotes:
ᕕ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ Donging through the snow ᕕ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ ᕕ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ In a one dong open sleigh ᕕ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ over the dongs we go ᕕ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ donging all the way ᕕ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ
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Forsen