[Copypasta] Why Harry Potter should have carried a 1911

Ok, this has been driving me crazy for seven movies now, and I know you're going to roll your eyes, but hear me out: Harry Potter should have carried a 1911. Here's why: Think about how quickly the entire WWWIII (Wizarding-World War III) would have ended if all of the good guys had simply armed up with good ol' American hot lead. Basilisk? Let's see how tough it is when you shoot it with a .470 Nitro Express. Worried about its Medusa-gaze? Wear night vision goggles. The image is light-amplified and re-transmitted to your eyes. You aren't looking at it--you're looking at a picture of it. Imagine how epic the first movie would be if Harry had put a breeching charge on the bathroom wall, flash-banged the hole, and then went in wearing NVGs and a Kevlar-weave stab-vest, carrying a SPAS-12. And have you noticed that only Europe seems to a problem with Deatheaters? Maybe it's because Americans have spent the last 200 years shooting deer, playing GTA: Vice City, and keeping an eye out for black helicopters over their compounds. Meanwhile, Brits have been cutting their steaks with spoons. Remember: gun-control means that Voldemort wins. God made wizards and God made muggles, but Samuel Colt made them equal. Now I know what you're going to say: "But a wizard could just disarm someone with a gun!" Yeah, well they can also disarm someone with a wand (as they do many times throughout the books/movies). But which is faster: saying a spell or pulling a trigger? Avada Kedavra, meet Avtomat Kalashnikova. Imagine Harry out in the woods, wearing his invisibility cloak, carrying a .50bmg Barrett, turning Deatheaters into pink mist, scratching a lightning bolt into his rifle stock for each kill. I don't think Madam Pomfrey has any spells that can scrape your brains off of the trees and put you back together after something like that. Voldemort's wand may be 13.5 inches with a Phoenix-feather core, but Harry's would be 0.50 inches with a tungsten core. Let's see Voldy wave his at 3,000 feet per second. Better hope you have some Essence of Dittany for that sucking chest wound. I can see it now...Voldemort roaring with evil laughter and boasting to Harry that he can't be killed, since he is protected by seven Horcruxes, only to have Harry give a crooked grin, flick his cigarette butt away, and deliver what would easily be the best one-liner in the entire series: "Well then I guess it's a good thing my 1911 holds 7+1." And that is why Harry Potter should have carried a 1911.
August 2021
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

cannabis addiction

twitchquotes: iam a 7 year old boy with a cannabis addiction, iam in rehab and i only have lol streams for entertainment, i wish to be the best mordekaiser in ze world, can u teach me bjerg? This is my story dont copy paste plz
twitch chat
July 2014
Bjergsen

Kripparrian is Illuminati Confirmed

twitchquotes: Kripparian's true name is Octavian. Octavian is derived from the Latin word for 8. Latin was the language of Rome. Rome fell to Barbarians. Kripp played a Barbarian. Barbarian is 9 letters. Kripparrian is 11 letters. 9/11. Kripparrian is Illuminati Confirmed.
twitch chat
February 2015
Kripp

Does anyone here know what Suge Knight is?

I bought a whole bunch of Suge Knight Albums, do you know who Suge Knight is? Anybody know who Suge Knight is? No, not shungite, those stupid fuckin rocks that crazy antivaxxers buy. I'm talkin' Suge Knight. Anyways, he's a popular music executive, but now in prison because he murdered somebody. That's my story, I bought a whole bunch of albums. Put 'em around the la casa. Little records, stuff like that.
January 2022
DrDisRespectLIVE

Shungite

Arrested for Navy Seal copypasta

I've mentioned this a lot before, but one of my best friends from back home was arrested, jailed for three months, and sentenced to 2 years probation for sending someone the Navy Seal copypasta on Facebook. As of today, he is FINALLY legally allowed to be online again.
February 2019

Navy Seal

HELLO 911 JAKE IS IN MY ROOM

twitchquotes: 4Head HELLO 911 πŸ“ž 4Head JAKE IS IN MY ROOM πŸ“ž 4Head HE HAS A PULSE BOMB πŸ“ž 4Head WHATS THAT? πŸ“ž 4Head ILL BE OKAY? πŸ“ž 4Head
twitch chat
April 2018
OverwatchLeague

Classic

Overwatch

Text-to-Speech Playing