[Copypasta] I fucking hate gaming laptops

I fucking hate gaming laptops. Today when I walked into my economics class I saw something I dread every time I close my eyes. Someone had brought their new gaming laptop to class. The Forklift he used to bring it was still running idle at the back. I started sweating as I sat down and gazed over at the 700lb beast that was his laptop. He had already reinforced his desk with steel support beams and was in the process of finding an outlet for a power cable thicker than Amy Schumer's thigh. I start shaking. I keep telling myself I'm going to be alright and that there's nothing to worry about. He somehow finds a fucking outlet. Tears are running down my cheeks as I send my last texts to my family saying I love them. The teacher starts the lecture, and the student turns his laptop on. The colored lights on his RGB Backlit keyboard flare to life like a nuclear flash, and a deep humming fills my ears and shakes my very soul. The entire city power grid goes dark. The classroom begins to shake as the massive fans begin to spin. In mere seconds my world has gone from vibrant life, to a dark, earth shattering void where my body is getting torn apart by the 150mph gale force winds and the 500 decibel groan of the cooling fans. As my body finally surrenders, I weep, as my school and my city go under. I fucking hate gaming laptops.
January 2022
I used to be a real ad
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Being a Karen is low key awesome as hell

Being a Karen is low key awesome as hell. You get to have sweet ass chunky highlights and drive a big hideous SUV you secretly eat 3 donuts a day in and dont report to weight watchers. You can go to your jazzersize class absolutely fucked up on airplane bottles of rum and a perc you got from your friend who has back issues. Call your daughter a whore in front of her friends when she's 12 then pretend not to remember it when she brings it up deeply traumatized in her 20s. Fucking boss bitch shit straight up. Just blasting "dude looks like a lady" max volume flooring it to a target to cause a ruckus returning a bath mat. Not giving a single shit if its problematic. You like it that way. Making your dumbass kids apologize to YOU when you say racist shit. Getting zooted on your strawberry nosed husbands blood pressure meds. Hell yes queen fucking slay.
March 2021

All hail Wildturtle!

twitchquotes: OMG Its The Real Wildturtle! The best player in the whole NA Server! We are so blessed to be graced with this stream. All Hail Wildturtle!!! Please copy and paste this to show the great Wildturtle our love!
twitch chat
November 2014
WildTurtle

Genetics is the future

I keep putting more money into ARKG and making more money and I'm starting to actually fall in love with the genetics revolution. I hope one day they invent some sort of super sperm cocktail so I can shoot thicc rope with giant big brain sperm like tadpoles that come out and shoot 16 feet at 90mph. Then I can train my fatheaded genius kids how to buy calls. It could also offer a self-defense solution in a pinch as you rapid fire tadpoles at any incoming attackers. Genetics is the future.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Elephant

โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“(O)โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆ โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆ
ascii art
November 2014

The feel when your favorite streamer is a feeder

twitchquotes: FeelsBadMan THAT FEEL FeelsBadMan WHEN FeelsBadMan YOUR FeelsBadMan FAVORITE FeelsBadMan STREAMER FeelsBadMan IS A FEEDER FeelsBadMan
twitch chat
March 2016
imaqtpie

League of Legends

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