I fucking hate gaming laptops.
Today when I walked into my economics class I saw something I dread every time I close my eyes. Someone had brought their new gaming laptop to class. The Forklift he used to bring it was still running idle at the back. I started sweating as I sat down and gazed over at the 700lb beast that was his laptop. He had already reinforced his desk with steel support beams and was in the process of finding an outlet for a power cable thicker than Amy Schumer's thigh. I start shaking. I keep telling myself I'm going to be alright and that there's nothing to worry about. He somehow finds a fucking outlet. Tears are running down my cheeks as I send my last texts to my family saying I love them. The teacher starts the lecture, and the student turns his laptop on. The colored lights on his RGB Backlit keyboard flare to life like a nuclear flash, and a deep humming fills my ears and shakes my very soul. The entire city power grid goes dark. The classroom begins to shake as the massive fans begin to spin. In mere seconds my world has gone from vibrant life, to a dark, earth shattering void where my body is getting torn apart by the 150mph gale force winds and the 500 decibel groan of the cooling fans. As my body finally surrenders, I weep, as my school and my city go under. I fucking hate gaming laptops.
(βΜΏΔΉΜ―ββ¬β΄β¬β΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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GIDDY UP SEXMAS
Hey! I noticed you used an emoji.
Hey! I noticed you used an emoji.
I donβt know if youβre new here, so Iβll let you off the hook this time. Using emojis is frowned upon here on this great site, and for good reason. Instagram normies often use them, and you donβt want to be a normie, do you?
If I catch you using an emoji in the future, Iβll be forced to issue a downvote to your comment. Why should you care, you may ask? Well to begin, you will lose karma on your account, which is a useful social status tool and also a way to show others you know your way around Reddit.
If you were to continue the use of emojis, I would be forced to privately message you about your slip-up. Any further offenses past that would leave me no other option than to report your account. I donβt think I have to explain why you donβt want that.
But anyways, no harm done yet! Follow these simple rules and youβll enjoy your future on Reddit! Have a blessed (and hopefully emoji-free) day, stranger.
WOW kid you just got r/WOOOOOOSHED
WOW kid you just got r/WOOOOOOSHED!!!! πππ
"Wooosh" means you didn't get the joke, as in the sound made when the joke "woooshes" over your head. I bet you're too stupid to get it, IDIOT!! π€π€π
His joke was so thoughtfully crafted and took him a total of like 3 minutes, you SHOULD be laughing. π€¬ What's that? His joke is bad? I think that's just because you failed. He outsmarted you, nitwit.π€
In conclusion, I am posting this to the community known as "R/Wooooosh" to claim my internet points in your embarrassment π. Imbecile. The Germans refer to this action as "Schadenfreude," which means "harm-joy" π¬π². WOW! π€ͺ Another reference I had to explain to you. π€¦ββοΈπ€ I am going to cease this conversation for I do not converse with simple minded persons.ππ
Just taking my money for a walk
twitchquotes:
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] Don't mind me subs, just taking my money for a walk
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plebs vs subs
Rudy Giuliani brings a plate of evidence
Holy shit. Rudy Giuliani came into the presser to bring me a plate of election fraud evidence and I literally screamed at him and hit the plate of evidence out of his hand. He started yelling "HEEEREEE'S KRAKEN!" at me and I cut the live feed on him. Iβm so distressed right now I donβt know what to do. I didnβt mean to do that to Rudy but Iβm literally in shock from the evidence tonight. I feel like Iβm going to explode. Why the fucking fuck is he losing? This canβt be happening. Iβm having a fucking breakdown. I donβt want to believe the world is so corrupt. I want to Build Back Betterβ’. I want Biden to be president and fix this broken country. I cannot fucking deal with this right now. It wasnβt supposed to be like this, I thought he was polling well in Michigan???? This is so fucked.