[Copypasta] Not your typical 12 year old ;)

twitchquotes: I'm twelve but everyone says I am very mature for my age and say I'm basically 16. Also, I love real bands like AC/DC and punk rock like green day so I'm not your typical 12 year old. ;)
twitch chat
December 2017
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Bear hands up

⡰⠴⠢⠈⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⢙⣐⡰⢺ ⠺⢀⡃⠋⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⢀⠄⠠⠤⠄⠤⠤⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⠸⣿⠟⢸ ⡤⣿⣿⡧⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⡀⠰⠋⢀⠄⠄⡀⠤⣶⡾⠟⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⠄⠄⠄⡇ ⠑⠉⠉⠁⠅⢰⡦⠉⡙⡽⠄⠄⠜⠛⠴⠊⠄⡀⢼⣧⡀⠅⠄⠄⠄⡌⠄⠄⠄⢴ ⢰⠄⠄⠄⠘⡌⢷⡄⢁⠁⠈⠄⠄⢀⡃⣠⣾⣆⣼⣿⣧⡗⠄⠄⢰⡅⠄⠄⠘⢿ ⠸⡀⠄⠄⠄⠘⢄⠙⡎⡇⡦⠄⠄⠈⠹⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⡇⠄⢀⣇⠂⠄⠄⣌⢸ ⠄⡟⠄⠄⠄⠰⠼⢢⡳⣄⢀⡀⠂⠄⠄⠣⣿⣿⠄⠄⡿⢱⢠⠞⠆⠄⠄⠄⠰⣾ ⠄⡃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠓⣟⢰⠁⠐⠄⠄⠄⠉⠑⠄⠄⢐⠊⠍⠉⠁⠄⠄⠐⠶⣪ ⠠⢾⡈⣄⡤⠄⠄⠄⠘⠘⠑⢡⡄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡬⢗⡎ ⠄⠬⢧⣄⠖⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠨⠙⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠰⡝⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢈⣳⣭⡃⠆⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄▄▄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⠁⠄ ⡀⢐⣛⠿⠿⠛⢻⣿⢶⣰⢀⡢⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄█░░▀▄⠄⠄⠁⡠⣟⠆⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣻⣧⣇⠊⢙⢣⡄⠄⠄⠄▀▄░░▀▄⠄⠄⢀⣙⠛⠨⡄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣾⣿⡿⠿⢿⣲⠄⣁⡀⠄⠄▀▄░░▀▄⠄⠄⠐⠑⠾⢨⠆ ⠤⠖⠒⠚⣿⣿⣿⣿⣣⠶⠦⠷⠁⣔⡯⠄⠄▄▀░░░░█⠄⠐⠖⠋⠄⢪⠄
March 2021

Fired for masturbating on a Zoom call

So this just happened an hour ago and I am still shaking. I’m a staff in public accounting and was in the middle of a 3-hour training on Zoom. Usually when we have these types of calls I just keep the video running in the background and I walk around the room doing things to pass the time and distract myself from the monotone presenters. Well today I forgot that I left the camera on (I usually always have it off but earlier today I had a call with the partner to discuss my upcoming promotion, so I had to have it on). I had no clue I had left the camera on and in the middle of walking around and muttering to myself as I was zoning out, I flipped it out and started to rub one out. I did so with complete confidence, openly and ferociously, stroking faster and faster until I heard the presenter stop and kindly asked me to turn my camera off. Mortified, I lifted my pants up and rushed over to turn the camera off. Soon after the training was over I had a call with HR and they let me know that I was being terminated. I hated the job anyway so not so bummed about that, but I’m not sure what to say in interviews now if I’m asked why I left this job. Any advice?
June 2021

In Japan, heart surgeon

Number one. Steady hand. One day, yakuza boss need new heart. I do operation. But mistake! Yakuza boss die! Yakuza very mad! I hide fishing boat, come to America. No English, no food, no money. Darryl give me job. Now I have house, American car and new woman. Darryl save life. My big secret. I kill yakuza boss on purpose. I good surgeon. The best!
April 2021

Classic

Let's. Make. Some. Pasta.

twitch chat
January 2015
Reynad

ZULUL RUNNING LOW ON COMMANDOS

twitchquotes: ALO ALO 📞 ZULUL RUNNING LOW ON COMMANDOS 📞 ZULUL NEED BACKUP 📞 ZULUL VI VON 📞 ZULUL
twitch chat
July 2019
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