[Copypasta] Lockwood Streets 112

twitchquotes: An MR-RL time. Me and Marc Rutzou. Me and fucking Marc Rutzou. That's fucking right. I skipped 1:13. I am a fucking legend. I've never SEEN a 1:13 and I never fucking will. 1:12 baby. Til the day I fucking die. YES!!! Bout time I get a fucking lucky break in this fucking game. MotherFUCKERS! And I CLUTCHED the goddamn grenade launcher. That's FUCKING right. Yeah it's this one. Right here IT'S THIS ONE! My insane pace. Right here! THIS is the 1:12. Right here. YES!!! It's fucking it. I'mma have to jus - I'mma have to find the actual whole vid of it and I'mma have to get it. DUUUUUUUDE WHAT A RUSH! WHAT A RUUUUUUSH! Watch this. Watch when I get the grenade launcher. (sorry) Look at that. See how fast my pace is? Right in the FUCKING HEAD!!! YEEEAAAHHH! Got a FUCKING 1:12 baby. That's RIGHT! You see that CLUTCHNESS? I AM FUCKING CCC-LUTCH! Look at this fucking line I take. I'm like, YEAH baby. Let's fucking DO this. I wait I wait I wait... Right when he starts firing to try to backboost me. The double. Body armor. Two quick ones. I already know I'm gettin' there on the perfect line. LOOK AT THE FUCKING PACE! FIFTY! FOURTY-NINE! MWH FOURTY-SEVEN BABY! That's FUCKING right. That's FUCKING IT! Fucking PUMPED watching this one again. I waited the cinema too 'cause i said oh my God it might be 1:12. And it FUCKING IS!!! IT FUCKING IS baby. YEAH!!! Look at me typing you guys. You guys didn't believe me. I am typing a storm. Dude I FUCKING just got Streets 1:12! It's not fucking comin' off. YES!!! I FUCKING DID IT THAT'S RIGHT! I SKIPPED 1:13 I'M A LEGEND. I AM A FUCKING LEGEND. I'm a FUCKING legend. (YES!) I am a fucking legend.
twitch chat
May 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Red sus. Red suuuus

Red sus. Red suuuus. I said red, sus, hahahahaha. Why arent you laughing? I just made a reference to the popular video game "Among Us"! How can you not laugh at it? Emergeny meeting! Guys, this here guy doesnt laugh at my funny Among Us memes! Lets beat him to death! Dead body reported! Skip! Skip! Vote blue! Blue was not an impostor. Among us in a nutshell hahahaha. What?! Youre still not laughing your ass off? I made SEVERAL funny references to Among Us and YOU STILL ARENT LAUGHING??!!! Bruh. Ya hear that? Wooooooosh. Whats woooosh? Oh, nothing. Just the sound of a joke flying over your head. Whats that? You think im annoying? Kinda sus, bro. Hahahaha! Anyway, yea, gotta go do tasks. Hahahaha!
October 2020

Among Us / Amogus

Classic

I love Art of Conquest!

twitchquotes: My $0.99 starter bundle put me well above the other players. But, when I reached the first enemy castle. I couldn't beat it. I checked the in game shop. "BONUS SILVER TROOPS $4.99 EXPIRES IN 3:14:28" I happily spent $4.99. Shortly after I came across an elite boss I couldnt beat. So I checked the in game shop. "BONUS GOLD TROOPS. 5000 RESOURCES. $19.99 EXPIRES IN 1:05:39" It's about to expire! I quickly entered my credit card and bought the bundle, it was such a steal. I love Art of Conquest!
twitch chat
January 2018
Kripp

sellout

You will never be Japanese

You will never be Japanese. You have no ancestry, you have no citizenship, you have no skills that would make Japan ever want you. You are a shut-in self-hating white man twisted by delusions of mythical Japanese superiority and exposure to Japanese media into a disgusting mockery of nature’s perfection. All 'validation' you get from other people in this position couldn't be worse in making you believe that spending years of your life learning a globally useless language to a first-grader's level was a worthwhile use of your time, but one can't expect that an individual as pathetic as you will ever know the value of the youth you threw away in doing that. Actual Japanese are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of years of linguistic evolution have allowed natives to identify frauds from mannerisms and vocabulary alone. Even if your written text of self-hatred and attention begging akin to a stray dog's somehow passes as normal (it won't), any Japanese person will immediately cut all ties when they hear the voice and accent of someone who is not only a basic Japanese speaker at best, but worth no more than garbage in skills, accomplishments, and likeability. You will never be happy. You wrench out a fake smile and laugh to yourself believing that watching a content creator that you understand 20% of at best is somehow superior than watching your own kind, as you project your disgusting traits onto your entire kind. However, deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight, and you know that. You know that all you do now is have an entirely new linguistic medium in which to be ignored, and not even the exotic trait of being foreign makes up for just how uninteresting of a person you are. Eventually it’ll be too much to bear - you’ll buy a rope, tie a noose, put it around your neck, and plunge into the cold abyss. Your parents will find you, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment. They’ll bury you with a headstone marked with your birth name, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know a Western man is buried there. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a skeleton that is unmistakably Caucasian. This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back. Hate yourself and apologize for being white to some Japanese entity that exists only in your mind while actual Japanese people put in effort to learn English for the valid reason of it being the global language.
April 2021

Weebs

WHAT DID GEODUDE SAY TO THE BARBER

twitchquotes: WHAT DID GEODUDE SAY TO THE BARBER 🤔 THANKS MOM
twitch chat
March 2018
Tyler1

Anime girl stare

⠄⣾⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⠄⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⠈⣿⡇⢹⣿⣿⣿⡇⡇⢸⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿ ⢠⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⢹⣿⣿⣿⡀⣿⣧⢸⣿⣿⣿⠁⡇⢸⣿⣿⠁⣿⣿⣿ ⢸⣿⣿⡇⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠈⢿⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿⡀⣿⣿⡿⠸⡇⣸⣿⣿⠄⣿⣿⣿ ⢸⣿⡿⠷⠄⠿⠿⠿⠟⠓⠰⠘⠿⣿⣿⡈⣿⡇⢹⡟⠰⠦⠁⠈⠉⠋⠄⠻⢿⣿ ⢨⡑⠶⡏⠛⠐⠋⠓⠲⠶⣭⣤⣴⣦⣭⣥⣮⣾⣬⣴⡮⠝⠒⠂⠂⠘⠉⠿⠖⣬ ⠈⠉⠄⡀⠄⣀⣀⣀⣀⠈⢛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠁⣀⣤⣤⣠⡀⠄⡀⠈⠁ ⠄⠠⣾⡀⣾⣿⣧⣼⣿⡿⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣼⣿⣧⣼⣿⣿⢀⣿⡇⠄ ⡀⠄⠻⣷⡘⢿⣿⣿⡿⢣⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣜⢿⣿⣿⡿⢃⣾⠟⢁⠈ ⢃⢻⣶⣬⣿⣶⣬⣥⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣾⣿⣷⣾⣾⢣ ⡄⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠘ ⣿⡐⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢠⢃ ⣿⣷⡀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⢀⠆⣼ ⣿⣿⣷⡀⠄⠈⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠠⠂⢀⣾⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⢵⢠⣈⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢋⡁⢰⠏⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿ ⢻⣿⣿⣿⡄⢢⠨⠄⣯⠄⠄⣌⣉⠛⠻⠟⠛⢋⣉⣤⠄⢸⡇⣨⣤⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿
April 2021

Weebs

Text-to-Speech Playing