[Copypasta] I wore a mask at Target today

I wore a mask at Target today. Three of my lungs collapsed as I got carbon monoxide poisoning from breathing in my own bacteria. A brave patriot wearing an Affliction shirt, a MAGA hat, and sweet wrap around sunglasses saved me by giving me CPR. I thanked him and asked if he was a doctor and he said "who needs doctors when we have our fellow Americans, the ones who are here legally I mean." I hugged him and threw my mask on the ground. The Star Spangled Banner played on the speaker system as everyone in the store ripped off their masks and threw them on the ground, chanting "down with communism!" God, Jesus, and all the angels looked down upon us from Heaven and clapped.
June 2020

Coronavirus

COVID

(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More COVID Copypastas

Quarantine? More like quaran time

twitchquotes: Quarantine? More like quaran time 🕋🕋🕌👏 may allah bless you
twitch chat
March 2020

Coronavirus

COVID

I have gotten the covid vaccine about 20 times now

I have gotten the covid vaccine about 20 times now. 4 Pfizer, 12 moderna, 4 Johnson. Once I got my first vaccine, I started cravings for it. There is something so great knowing I am reducing the spread of the coronavirus with each of them. I am feeling so empowered. I think I may be addicted ngl :sweat_smile:. At least it won't kill me.
June 2021

Coronavirus

Classic

COVID

Will you be my Quaran-TINE?

twitchquotes: Dear Streamer, please forgive my fever and the coughing of my lungs. Ever since I first entered stream I fell for the way you entertained and captivated the chat. I adored the way you practiced social distancing, responsibly purchased toilet paper, and wore a mask at all times. It is so contagious! Everything that I have witnessed has made my body ache for your pathogens. As your simping loyal petri dish, will you be my Quaran-TINE?
twitch chat
March 2020

Simps

Coronavirus

COVID

Plague doctor / Black Scourge Singed

⣿⣿⣏⢴⢏⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⢹⣿⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣤⣤ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠜⠻⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿ ⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⣷⣞⣧⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣧⠾⣺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣫⣤⣴⣦⣶⣾⣿⡦⠤⠀⠀⠤⠤⠤⠖⠒ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢋⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢉⡀⣀⠀⢠⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠀⡃⠀⠀⡇⡜⠉⠙⠛⠓⠒ ⣿⠛⣹⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠛⠋⠉⠉⠐⠈⠙⢲⡊⡹⠳⣤⣤⡀⠀⠀ ⣿⣷⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠋⠁⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡵⣁⣀⡀⠀⠉⠉⠙ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⠠⠀⠀⠀⠐⠀⣇⠀⠀⠉⠓⠲⢤⡀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⣀⣠⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣦⣤⣤⣬⡀⠙⢲⡄⠀⠀⠀⠈ ⣿⠟⣻⢿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠙⠢⣄⠀⠀ ⣿⣮⣯⣾⣿⣿⡟⣩⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠳⡄⠀⠀⠘⣦⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠀⠙⢲⠀⠀⠈⢳ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⣆⠀⠀⠈⠳⣄⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣔⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠙⡆⠀⠀⠀⠘⠷⢄
March 2021

Coronavirus

League of Legends

COVID

I wore a mask at Target today

I wore a mask at Target today. Three of my lungs collapsed as I got carbon monoxide poisoning from breathing in my own bacteria. A brave patriot wearing an Affliction shirt, a MAGA hat, and sweet wrap around sunglasses saved me by giving me CPR. I thanked him and asked if he was a doctor and he said "who needs doctors when we have our fellow Americans, the ones who are here legally I mean." I hugged him and threw my mask on the ground. The Star Spangled Banner played on the speaker system as everyone in the store ripped off their masks and threw them on the ground, chanting "down with communism!" God, Jesus, and all the angels looked down upon us from Heaven and clapped.
June 2020

Coronavirus

COVID

Text-to-Speech Playing