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Infinite cum. You sit on the toilet to jack off, but you begin to cum uncontrollably. After ten spurts you start to worry. Your hand is sticky and it reeks of semen. You desperately shove your dick into a wad of toilet paper, but that only makes your balls hurt. The cum accelerates. It’s been three minutes. You can’t stop cumming. Your bathroom floor is covered in a thin layer of baby fluid. You try to cum into the shower drain but it builds up too fast. You try the toilet. The cum is too thick to be flushed. You lock the bathroom door to prevent the cum from escaping. The air grows hot and humid from the cum. The cum accelerates. You slip and fall in your own sperm. The cum is now six inches deep, almost as long as your still-erect semen hose. Sprawled on your back, you begin to cum all over the ceiling. Globs of the sticky white fluid begin to fall like raindrops, giving you a facial with your own cum. The cum accelerates. You struggle to stand as the force of the cum begins to propel you backwards as if you were on a bukkake themed slip-and-slide. Still on your knees, the cum is now at chin height. To avoid drowning you open the bathroom door. The deluge of man juice reminds you of the Great Molasses Flood of 1919, only with cum instead of molasses. The cum accelerates. It’s been two hours. Your children and wife scream in terror as their bodies are engulfed by the snow-white sludge. Your youngest child goes under, with viscous bubbles and muffled cries rising from the goop. You plead to God to end your suffering. The cum accelerates. You squeeze your dick to stop the cum, but it begins to leak out of your asshole instead. You let go. The force of the cum tears your urethra open, leaving only a gaping hole in your crotch that spews semen. Your body picks up speed as it slides backwards along the cum. You smash through the wall, hurtling into the sky at thirty miles an hour. From a bird’s eye view you see your house is completely white. Your neighbor calls the cops. The cum accelerates. As you continue to ascend, you spot police cars racing towards your house. The cops pull out their guns and take aim, but stray loads of cum hit them in the eyes, blinding them. The cum accelerates. You are now at an altitude of 1000 feet. The SWAT team arrives. Military helicopters circle you. Hundreds of bullets pierce your body at once, yet you stay conscious. Your testicles have now grown into a substitute brain. The cum accelerates. It has been two days. With your body now destroyed, the cum begins to spray in all directions. You break the sound barrier. The government deploys fighter jets to chase you down, but the impact of your cum sends one plane crashing to the ground. The government decides to let you leave the earth. You feel your gonads start to burn up as you reach the edges of the atmosphere. You narrowly miss the ISS, giving it a new white paint job as you fly past. Physicists struggle to calculate your erratic trajectory. The cum accelerates. The cum begins to gravitate towards itself, forming a comet trail of semen. Astronomers begin calling you the “Cummet.” You are stuck in space forever, stripped of your body and senses, forced to endure an eternity of cumshots. Eventually, you stop thinking.

Mark, let me tell you something. Pay close attention to the text that I am about to write. An average human body has about 38 trillion cells. In each of these cells there is a spiral helix of DNA that, if stretched to its maximum, is about two meters long. DNA is one of the densest stores of information on the planet: a single gram of DNA stores about 700 terabytes of information. If we stretched out the 76 trillion meters of DNA in my body and recorded, character by character, the word "Hate" over and over and over again, this pile of information could not store the tiniest fraction of a trillionth of the hatred that I feel for you right now. Every drop of blood in my body cries out for your death. My very soul writhes in disgust. Your mere existence is a blasphemy and an affront to every possible virtue and quality that any rational being can possess. You are a deception to Satan himself.

Gru abruptly turned around to survey the restaurant, and barked out an order to the minions. "Vring him here! To zhat table!" Gru barked as he pointed at a large, empty table. The minions babbled and seized Spongebob and hoisted him to his feet before throwing him down on the table. Gru had grabbed some rope in the struggle and bent over Spongebob's body, putting his full weight on Spongebob. His crotch prodded against Spongebob's stomach and a curious sensation was being aroused in Spongebob. Gru tied the rope to the table, and around Spongebob's arms. Before long, Spongebob was restrained to the table by all his limbs. Gru stepped back to observe Spongebob and to ensure that he wasn't going to escape from his restraints. The minions eagerly crowded around Gru's legs and babbled excitedly. Gru's hands moved down towards his pants and started to unbuckle his belt. Spongebob's eyes widened and he started thrashing and screaming for help, help that was never going to come. As he was struggling against his restraints, Spongebob's eyes met Squidward's and he had also started desperately trying to free himself. His screaming was muffled against the gag and tears had started streaming down his face again. Gru's pants were now around his ankles, and his penis now bulged against his thin underwear. A bush of pubic hair faintly curled outside of his briefs. His eyes had never once left Spongebob's still thankfully covered lower half. Almost as if he read Spongebob's mind, Gru suddenly stepped forward and quickly ripped Spongebob's underwear in half. He had moved so fast that Spongebob didn't have time to scream before Gru slapped his hands over Spongebob's mouth. Gru groaned and grinded his body against Spongebob's, now naked, completely exposed and tied up. Spongebob whimpered as Gru put his lips next to Spongebob's ear. He licked his earlobe and breathed heavily, as he grinded his dick harder against Spongebob's tiny body. "So hot and tight, aren't you?" Gru moaned huskily. "You a virgin?" Gru asked, leaning back to see Spongebob's face. An evil grin slowly spread across Gru's face at Spongebob's lack of response.1 "Oh ho ho ho, is it my birthday?" Gru chuckled darkly. Spongebob cringed and began to cry harder. Was this how he was going tolose his virginity? He had always dreamed of losing it to Squidward, as his tentacly arms held Spongebob and sweetly, gently, made love to Spongebob. Now this strange man and these creatures were going to...rape him? This couldn't be happening. The minions had been watching Gru and Spongebob, completely enraptured. Their eyes were wide with wonder and some of them had hands down their pants, playing with themselves. Soft little moans arose from some of their mouths. Gru lowered his face to Spongebob's groin, and smiled up at him. "I'm feeling generous, little sponge. I'll suck you dry, don't vorry." Gru said lustfully. Gru took Spongebob's little cock into his mouth and began sucking. He could taste the burgers Spongebob the Slut ate all day long. Spongebob whined, but those whines slowly changed to moans as Gru began running his tongue across the tip of his cock. A knot began forming in Spongebob's stomach and his cock began twitching. Gru smiled, still with Spongebob's cock down his throat. Spongebob moaned as burger juice shot down Gru's moist throat. Spongebob felt like he was in heaven. Gru drew his mouth away and strings of burger juice connected his mouth to Spongebob's slimy, half-erect cock. Gru suddenly forced Spongebob's mouth open and spat out the remaining cum directly into his mouth. "Taste your cum, leetle sponge." Gru smirked evilly. Spongebob's eyes widened as Gru forced his mouth shut and forced him to swallow it. Tears welled in Spongebob's eyes as the sour burger-juice taste of his cum went down his throat. Gru released Spongebob's mouth and stepped backwards. He started taking his underwear off, and his 40-inch cock was released from its cage. Spongebob's eyes almost popped out of his sockets.

Excuse me sir or ma'am but I couldn't help but notice.... are you a "girl"?? A "female?" A "member of the finer sex?" Not that it matters too much, but it's just so rare to see a girl around here! I don't mind, no--quite to the contrary! It's so refreshing to see a girl online, to the point where I'm always telling all my friends "I really wish girls were better represented on the internet." And here you are! I don't mean to push or anything, but if you wanted to DM me about anything at all, I'd love to pick your brain and learn all there is to know about you. I'm sure you're an incredibly interesting girl--though I see you as just a person, really--and I think we could have lots to teach each other. I've always wanted the chance to talk to a gorgeous lady--and I'm pretty sure you've got to be gorgeous based on the position of your text in the picture--so feel free to shoot me a message, any time at all! You don't have to be shy about it, because you're beautiful anyways (that's juyst a preview of all the compliments I have in store for our chat). Looking forwards to speaking with you soon, princess! EDIT: I couldn't help but notice you haven't sent your message yet. There's no need to be nervous! I promise I don't bite, haha EDIT 2: In case you couldn't find it, you can click the little chat button from my profile and we can get talking ASAP. Not that I don't think you could find it, but just in case hahah EDIT 3: look I don't understand why you're not even talking to me, is it something I said? EDIT 4: I knew you were always a bitch, but I thought I was wrong. I thought you weren't like all the other girls out there but maybe I was too quick to judge EDIT 5: don't ever contact me again whore EDIT 6: hey are you there?

I saw JPOW at the grocery store. I was buying a dozen eggs last night and the store was kind of slow since it was after dark. Some old boomer was in front of me and chatting away with the woman at the cash register. Everyone had masks on, but as soon as he spoke I recognized the voice. He was telling the lady how inflation is a good thing. She said how come inflation keeps going up but minimum wage never rises? He ignored her and pulls out a large sheet of $1 bills. He asks if she had scissors but she said no. He looked back at me and saw the eggs and said "You workout huh? Its good to stay healthy. I used to workout by lifting bales of hay after school in 1952. Eggs are a good source of energy, mind if I take one? " I shrugged and told him.go ahead. He opened my pack of eggs, takes one out, lowers his mask, just throws the whole thing in his mouth shell and all, puts his mask back up, and begins chewing loudly. As he's chewing he's crookedly folding and ripping a sheet of dollar bills handing them to the lady individually. While he's chewing he tells me it's a great time to buy bonds. I tell him I'm good. The store was short on change so he just pays the full dollar amount. He hands me a crooked bill that is almost ripped in half and says "thanks pal, in the future that single egg will be worth a dollar so we will call it even" Im heading to my car after and I see him and another boomer arguing. There was JPOW and he's arguing with a man built like a gnome wearing a poorly fit collared shirt. The little man spoke and I instantly knew it was Cramer. Cramer wanted JPOW to hurry up and stop hogging the best parking spot. JPOW tells Cramer that hes got his mask on inside out and upside down. They both start talking about inflation and then look deep into each other's eyes and start making out with their masks on. It was a pretty weird.

Natalie Portman is the reason I work out. I have this fantasy where we start talking at the Vanity Fair Oscars party bar. We exchange a few pleasantries. She asks what I do. I say I loved her in New Girl. She laughs. I get my drink. "Well, see ya," I say and walk away. I've got her attention now. How many guys voluntarily leave a conversation with Natalie Portman? She touches her neck as she watches me leave. Later, as the night's dragged on and the coterie of gorgeous narcissists grows increasingly loose, she finds me on the balcony, my bowtie undone, smoking a cigarette. "Got a spare?" she asks. "What's in it for me?" I say as I hand her one of my little white ladies. She smiles. "Conversation with me, duh." I laugh. "What's so funny?" she protests. "Nothing, nothing... It's just... don't you grow tired of the egos?" "You get used to it," she says, lighting her cigarette and handing me back the lighter. "What would you do if you weren't an actress?" I ask. "Teaching, I think." "And if I was your student, what would I be learning?" "Discipline," she says quickly, looking up into my eyes, before changing the subject. "Where are you from?" "Bermuda," I say. "Oh wow. That's lovely." "It's ok," I admit. "Not everything is to my liking." "What could possibly be not to your liking in Bermuda?" she inquires. "I don't like sand," I tell her. "It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere."

Hey, did you know that in terms of male human and female pokemon breeding, vaporeon is not the most compatible pokemon for humans? This is a common and understandable misconception, however vaporeon has its human on pokemon breedability outclassed by it's cousin evolution, umbreon. Umbreon boasts an extremely impressive defense stat spread. With it's combination of very high HP, defense and special defense stats, it can take a great pounding and come back for more! It's ability, inner focus allows it to keep slamming attentively, without getting fatigued. Umbreon also has access to the ability synchronise, which allows it to share it's current status with you, meaning you will receive all of the pleasure it feels combined with all the pleasure you're getting from pounding this perfect, breedable pokemon. A great fun fact, umbreon can excrete toxins in it's sweat, which would in turn soak your member and swell it up, making it even more sizable and sensitive. This would not only enhance the experience for you, but for your umbreon as well (which with synchronise, ends up pleasing you exponentially more). It can learn payback, which doubles in power after the pokemon is hit, meaning umbreon will throw it back twice as hard as normally if you're hitting it good. Umbreon can also learn guard swap, it could give you it's insane durability, and go crazy on you all night with your now massive endurance. Speaking of endurance, umbreon also has access to endure, making it practically immune to fatigue, it will always have energy left over. Charm is also within umbreon's movepool, letting it be extremely seductive towards you, easily getting you in the mood. Umbreon can also use taunt, in turn making you only able to do attacking moves such as slam, pound, etc; It's access to the abilities inner focus and synchronise allow it to unwaveringly throw it back and add all of it's pleasure onto yours, effectively making it twice as amazing as any other pokemon, or even four times, factoring in the doubled power of payback of course. All of this information in combination with it's extremely useful movepool in the world of intercourse makes umbreon the most qualified to breed with humans; able to take dick of any shape, any size, in any position easily for extensive periods of time, while having the ability to return for even more mere seconds later.