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Buying Monster and adult diapers

twitchquotes: Iโ€™m telling you, TidesOfTime is as cracked as he is jacked. I saw him at a 7-11 the other day buying Monster and adult diapers. I asked him what the diapers were for and he said โ€they contain my full power so I donโ€™t completely shit on these kidsโ€œ then he rode a boar out the door
twitch chat
June 2019
TidesOfTime

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist. I'm always finding time to crank out a few p-ups. Ahh yep, I do maybe a thousand p-ups a day and I'm a father of two. Those nerds coloring with crayons? Time to squeeze in a few p-ups. Little dorks eating mac and cheese? It's p-up time. I'm like a leathered marble statue of a really muscular guy, my muscles are so tight and rugged. Hell, I took a p-up break while typing this comment. The ladies at work, these little work ladies, love when I crank out p-ups right there in front of them and come up off the floor red faced and with a sizeable bulge in my slacks. That bulge is unrelated to the p-ups, by the way, I'm just a guy who's always one hard nipple poking through a shirt away from a full meat platter. Hell, I'd cheat on my wife with one of these little work ladies if she wasn't one of the little work ladies I work with. We bone in the bathroom. I get jacked on p-ups and then we bone in the bathroom and there's nothing my boss can do about it because my vascularity is way too intimidating. I tell him he should do some p-ups if he wants to fuck my wife. It's the only way she gets that slizz juiced and loosed. She wants to see multitudinous p-ups and she wants to see those p-ups now! Whoops! Haha, okay, looks like she's watching me type this over my shoulder. Uh oh. See ya later, nerdbags. I'm gonna p-ups myself up to a full plumper and pump that honey ham rump of my little work lady wife.
April 2021
I used to be a real ad

The year is 2025. MoonMoon lies on his deathbed

twitchquotes: The year is 2025. MoonMoon_Ow lies on his deathbed, the countless years of oatmeal infighting finally having taken their toll. He struggles to adjust his eyes to the glare of his computer screen, yearning to view his beloved twitch chat one more time. All he sees is degenerate weeb spam. His eyes brim with tears. He begins gasping his final breath, and in his final moments he hits the hardest dab known to humanity
twitch chat
January 2018
MOONMOON

I am the PUBG MOBILE elite pro killer

twitchquotes: They criticized me. They called called me the salt mine. They called me the hs arena cry-baby. But look at me now. I am the PUBG MOBILE elite pro killer. Navy SEALs have nothing on me. Get gud chat cause I'm coming for you.
twitch chat
April 2018
Kripp

sellout

PlayerUnknown's Battlegrounds

Giovanni Lasagna from Library on A site Inferno hates Jame

Its a me, receptionist Giovanni Lasagna from Library on A site Inferno. I like to read my book in silence but mamma mia, i can not! There is man storming into quiet library every 10 minute with gun he say "He need his AWP next round" so he "is saving". Tell him, I will call police next time!!!!
May 2022

CSGO

I used to be a real ad

Stop saying the word cum

Stop saying the word cum so much are you fucking retarded? What's so funny about semen? AHAHAHAHA CUM COOM CAM CAM HAHAHA LOOK AT ME. SEXSEXSEXX AAAHHAAHAH!!!!!!SHUT THE FUCK UP MAKE IT STOP. Me (M18) and my gf (F19) were doing the good sexy sex when I decided to browse Reddit and then I see it: CUM!!!!!!! WHYYYYYYY??? WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS????? THATS SO FUCKING DISGUSTING AND IMMATURE AND MY GF LEFT ME AFTER SHE READ THAT! THATS SO FUNNY FOR YOU ISN'T IT???? ISNT IT WHAT YOU WANTED??? NOONE RUINS MY SEX SEXY SEX SEX WITH MY FEMALE COMPANION. Sincerely, FUCK YOU
April 2022

Eminem is great but...

twitchquotes: Eminem is great but I listen to 3Pac, M&Ms, 3 Chainz, Big Wayne, Small Sean, 60 Cent, Snoop Catt, Mr. Dre, Ice Cubed, Old Jeezy, Jay-Y, Soulja Girl, Jizz Khalifa, Anna Kendrick Lamar, Hard-E, Andre 2999, Big B, Weak Mill, Semi-Automatic Kelly, Adult Cudi, Wu-Tang Tag Team, KRS-Two, and Kanye East instead.
twitch chat
January 2015
Forsen

If my Bitcoin and my girl both drowning

twitchquotes: If my Bitcoin๐Ÿ’ฒ๐Ÿ’ฐ and my girl๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ‘ฐ both drowning๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐ŸŒŠ and I could only save one๐Ÿ˜ค๐Ÿ˜ฌ Catch me HODL'ing at my girls funeral๐Ÿ˜”๐Ÿ‘ป๐ŸŒน Cuz its To The Moon or Nothing, kiddo ๐Ÿ’ฐ๐Ÿ’ฏ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ“ˆ๐Ÿ’ฒ
twitch chat
January 2018

Spam this cheese to help Philly please

twitchquotes: StinkyCheese SPAM StinkyCheese THIS StinkyCheese CHEESE StinkyCheese TO StinkyCheese HELP StinkyCheese PHILLY StinkyCheese PLEASE StinkyCheese
twitch chat
March 2018
OverwatchLeague

Rhyme Chant

Overwatch

I hate Stuart Little

twitchquotes: I fucking hate Stuart Little. I know what you're thinking, this is some kind of funny joke, but no, Stuart Little is a piece of shit. A god damn rat got picked over actual children at an orphanage and he's supposed to be a hero? And I can't even tell you how many damn times I've seen a great parking space only to turn the corner and realise Stuart Little is already parked there in his stupid little fucking convertible.
twitch chat
May 2019
Waiting for adblock to be disabled

PADORUPADORU

twitchquotes: PADORUPADORU Hashire sori yo PADORUPADORU Kaze no you nii PADORUPADORU Tsukimihara wo PADORUPADORU Padoru padoruuu! PADORUPADORU
twitch chat
December 2018

Cinco de Mayo Emoji Pasta v3

Itโ€™s the end of May the Fourth 4๏ธโƒฃ ๐ŸŒŒ๐Ÿ˜ซ but that means the beginning of ๐ŸŽธ๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿพ๐ŸŒตCincHOE de Mayo ๐ŸŽธ๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿพ๐ŸŒต get ready to get your TACO eaten ๐Ÿ‘…๐Ÿ’ฆ๐ŸŒฎ and gulp Papi's BURRITO ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐ŸŒฏ๐Ÿ’ฆ send this to 1๏ธโƒฃ0๏ธโƒฃ of your main ๐Ÿ’…๐ŸพPUTAS ๐Ÿ’…๐Ÿพwho need to be stuffed by a CHORIZO ๐ŸŒญ๐Ÿ’ฆ if you get 5๏ธโƒฃ back you're a border hopping ๐Ÿ’๐ŸฝCHOLA ๐Ÿ’๐ŸฝIf you get 1๏ธโƒฃ0๏ธโƒฃ back you're a ๐Ÿ’š Green card HOE๐Ÿ’š If you get 1๏ธโƒฃ5๏ธโƒฃ back you're the๐Ÿ’ƒ๐ŸฝTelenovela main BITCH ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿฝ If you get 0๏ธโƒฃ back you're getting deported by Trump! ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฝ๐Ÿ˜ซ๐Ÿšง๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ Have a happy CincHOE de Mayo and don't let la Migra get you!!
May 2022

Cinco de Mayo

Emoji Pasta

Holiday Emoji

Holiday

I regret to inform you, there is no cock left

twitchquotes: ๐Ÿ“œ โœ๏ธ ๐ผ ๐“‡๐‘’๐‘”๐“‡๐‘’๐“‰ ๐“‰๐‘œ ๐’พ๐“ƒ๐’ป๐‘œ๐“‡๐“‚ ๐“Ž๐‘œ๐“Š, ๐“‰๐’ฝ๐‘’๐“‡๐‘’ ๐’พ๐“ˆ ๐“ƒ๐‘œ ๐’ธ๐‘œ๐’ธ๐“€ ๐“๐‘’๐’ป๐“‰.
twitch chat
February 2021

Trolling my whole class with Among Us Part 1

So today in school, my English teacher was having us do presentation in front of our class. For my presentation, I decided to troll my entire class by making my entire slideshow about the popular game, Among Us. I started off the presentation by showing the class the picture of the Among Us imposter wearing sneakers (it's a meme on google if you want to search for it). For some reason, no one laughed at the meme. My teacher told me "this isn't what your presentation is supposed to be about." I responded by yelling "THE TEACHER IS SUS I SAW HER VENT" and then naruto running around the room. Again, no one even giggled. I assume it's because it was forst bell and everyone was tired. My teacher said "Please sit down." But I wasn't about to give up. I made a last ditch effort to make everyone laugh. I started to beatbox the Among Us theme song trap remix. I was beatboxing it so well (i had practiced it at home), i was certain that everyone would burst out in laughter. Unfortunately, not a single person laughed. Everyone was staring at me, so I said "You guys are all sussy, I'm gonna eject you". Long story short, I ended up getting a bad grade on my presentation and I got a detention. However, it was worth it because I totally got to troll my entire class.
March 2021

Trolling with Among Us

Among Us / Amogus

imaqtpie think he is popular

twitchquotes: imaqtpie think he is popular but the truth is i am watching his stream with all my 20k accounts for proof i will copy and paste this on all my accounts
twitch chat
August 2017
imaqtpie
I used to be a real ad

FACEBOOK OUTDAITED

twitchquotes: Jebaited FACEBOOK OUTDATED Jebaited PRIVACY OVERRATED Jebaited LONG HAVE WE AWAITED Jebaited NSA ACTIVATED Jebaited
twitch chat
June 2018

hey xqc are you lying about my mom?

twitchquotes: hey xqc are you lying about fucking my mom? if so my dad will beat you up, hes a retired navy seal. I have never seen you in my house which is quite odd, but if i saw you i would beat you up on god.
twitch chat
June 2020
xQcOW

NA, AKA. "No Americans" is a Riot Games' Minor League

NA, AKA. "No Americans" is a Riot Games' Minor League that is often associated with very low domestic player participation (2/5). Is also ridiculed for being washed-up and it is specifically known for its obnoxious fanbase and mind-numbing throws.
October 2021

EU vs NA

This is the shittiest reply ever

twitchquotes: This is the shittiest reply ever. Fortnite requires movement, editing, building, rotating, and hitting shots. There are not โ€œpositionsโ€ in Fortnite. A kickers job is LITERALLY to kick. Horrible analogy, kind of embarrassing.
twitch chat
December 2019

Fortnite

Waiting for adblock to be disabled

What ever happened to innovative and original copy pastas?

twitchquotes: Wow guys, enabling bttv gif emotes was by far the worst decision of my life. Is spamming chat with these annoying gachiBASS emotes really the only thing that kids these days do? Am I just out of touch, or is this what chat has devolved to these days? What ever happened to innovative and original copy pastas?
twitch chat
January 2018
Text-to-Speech Playing