[Copypasta] She sells sea shells on the sea shore

She sells seashells on a seashore But the value of these shells will fall Due to the laws of supply and demand No one wants to buy shells 'cause there's loads on the sand Step 1: you must create a sense of scarcity Shells will sell much better if the people think they’re rare, you see Bare with me, take as many shells as you can find and hide 'em on an island Stockpile 'em high until they’re rarer than a diamond Step 2: you gotta make the people think that they want 'em Really want 'em, really fuckin' want 'em, hit 'em like Bronson Influencers, product placement, featured prime time entertainment If you haven’t got a shell, then you're just a fucking wasteman Three: it's monopoly, invest inside some property Start a corporation, make a logo, do it properly "Shells must sell", that will be your new philosophy Swallow all your morals, they're a poor man's quality Four: expand, expand, expand Clear forest, make land, fresh blood on hand Five: why just shells? Why limit yourself? She sells seashells, sell oil as well Six: guns, sell stocks, sell diamonds, sell rocks Sell water to a fish, sell the time to a clock Seven: press on the gas, take your foot off the brakes Then run to be the president of the United States Eight: big smile mate, big wave, that's great Now the truth is overrated, tell lies out the gate Nine: Polarise the people, controversy is the game It don't matter if they hate you if they all say your name Ten: the world is yours Step out on a stage to a round of applause You're a liar, a cheat, a devil, a whore And you sell seashells on the seashore
April 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

What makes me a good Demoman? Meet the Demoman

What makes me a good Demoman? If I were a bad Demoman, I wouldn't be sittin' here, discussin' it with you now would I? Let's do it! Not one of ya's gonna' survive this! One crossed wire, one wayward pinch of potassium chlorate, one errant twitch... and kablooie! I got a manky eye. I'm a black, Scottish cyclops. So T'all you fine dandies so proud, so cocksure! Prancin' aboot with your heads full of eyeballs! Come and get me I say!I'll be waiting on ya with a whiff of the 'ol brimstone. I'm a grim bloody fable... with an unhappy bloody end! Oh, they're going to have to glue you back together... in hell!
January 2024

Team Fortress 2

Dog Face (no space)

twitchquotes: FrankerZ = Dog Face (no space)
twitch chat
March 2014
TheOddOne

We will not go quietly into the night!

twitchquotes: We will not go quietly into the night! WutFace We will not vanish without a fight! WutFace We’re going to live on! WutFace We’re going to survive! WutFace Today, we celebrate our Independence Day! WutFace BROTHERS, HOLD THE LINE πŸ₯ WutFace _πŸ”ͺ
twitch chat
February 2016
Kripp

Just dropped down to say, I forgor

β–¬β–¬β–¬β–¬β–¬.β—™.β–¬β–¬β–¬β–¬β–¬ β–‚β–„β–„β–“β–„β–„β–‚ β—’β—€β–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„ β—’β—€ β–ˆβ–„ β–ˆ β–ˆβ–„ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€ ╬ β—₯ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β—€ ══╩══╩═ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ just dropped down to say ╬═╬ ╬═╬ I forgor ╬═╬ πŸ’€/ ╬═╬ /β–Œ ╬═╬ / \
October 2021

I forgor

You've been visited by Hellbear Smasher of fortune

twitchquotes: Κ• Ν‘Β·α΄₯ Ν‘Β· Κ” You've been visited by Hellbear Smasher of fortune. Clap your paws and copy paste this message 5 times without getting banned by mods and luck be with you for the next year Κ• Ν‘Β·α΄₯ Ν‘Β· Κ”
twitch chat
August 2014
Text-to-Speech Playing