[Copypasta] She sells sea shells on the sea shore

She sells seashells on a seashore But the value of these shells will fall Due to the laws of supply and demand No one wants to buy shells 'cause there's loads on the sand Step 1: you must create a sense of scarcity Shells will sell much better if the people think they’re rare, you see Bare with me, take as many shells as you can find and hide 'em on an island Stockpile 'em high until they’re rarer than a diamond Step 2: you gotta make the people think that they want 'em Really want 'em, really fuckin' want 'em, hit 'em like Bronson Influencers, product placement, featured prime time entertainment If you haven’t got a shell, then you're just a fucking wasteman Three: it's monopoly, invest inside some property Start a corporation, make a logo, do it properly "Shells must sell", that will be your new philosophy Swallow all your morals, they're a poor man's quality Four: expand, expand, expand Clear forest, make land, fresh blood on hand Five: why just shells? Why limit yourself? She sells seashells, sell oil as well Six: guns, sell stocks, sell diamonds, sell rocks Sell water to a fish, sell the time to a clock Seven: press on the gas, take your foot off the brakes Then run to be the president of the United States Eight: big smile mate, big wave, that's great Now the truth is overrated, tell lies out the gate Nine: Polarise the people, controversy is the game It don't matter if they hate you if they all say your name Ten: the world is yours Step out on a stage to a round of applause You're a liar, a cheat, a devil, a whore And you sell seashells on the seashore
April 2021
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Only three more COVID variants until Sigma

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Born to be a Twitch channel mod

twitchquotes: You can say that I was born to be a Twitch channel mod. I catch a glimpse of copypasta, the adrenaline starts pumping. A whiff of drama, I snap into duty. My streamer calls for a chat ban, I erase that motherfucker from the history books of this channel. There is no !command I won’t code, no timeout I won’t give, no Twitch laws I won’t overlook, and no order I won’t obey to make my streamer happy. And if you become his problem, well, I’m sorry to say that I’ll become yours.
twitch chat
December 2019

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ZULUL if you understand this communique

twitchquotes: ZULUL if you understand this communique, you have been defeated ZULUL and you must post identical communique in chatroom ZULUL never ending cycle ZULUL
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March 2019
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we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce

gf is prego we like to get kinky anyways one night things get particularly saucy i'm sticking my noodle in her when I notice weird fucking chunks coming out, so I turn on the lights wtf it's red everywhere and she's obviously not on her period i look up at her, she's got a glassy, jarred look on her face and she's not answering ohshitohshitohshitohshit i rush her into my car and speed all the way to the hospital she's still bleeding everywhere by the time we get there, she's not bleeding much anymore, but all the color has drained and she looks colorless and almost transparent oh shit, she looks like she's in a vegetative state storm into to the emergency room, cary her to the nearest doctor and explain eveything he takes one look at ther and says "sir, i'm sorry, there's nothing we can do" "WHY THE FUCK NOT???" "we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce"
February 2021

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AITA for punching my own son and husband in the face for being NFTphobic?

So I (M 23, black), was walking around my house(2 story) and decided to check how my son (M 14) is doing. I walked into his room(Non binary, Bedroom, 89) and saw him(M 14) screenshotting an nft(red skin, ushanka, lasers from eyes)!!! I (M 24) Immediately (1 year) punched him (m 15) in the face(chipped 2 tooths, minor bruises, broken nose, bleeding from mouth). Unfortunately, my spouse(M 35) came into the room(Bedroom, 90) and called the police(racist)! I punched him(m 35) until his body (White, racist) cracked(i was satisfied, i am bonebreakigender) with an unpleasant sound. Then, two policeman(Racist policeman, M 21, and a policetranswoman F 31) came into my house(2 story) without hesitation(1 year) and locked me(M, 24, black) in a police(racist) car(Ferrari limited edition). Now i(M 24, black) have no one to talk to(prisoners). So, Reddit. AITA?
January 2022

Am I The Asshole?

NFTs

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