[Copypasta] She sells sea shells on the sea shore

She sells seashells on a seashore But the value of these shells will fall Due to the laws of supply and demand No one wants to buy shells 'cause there's loads on the sand Step 1: you must create a sense of scarcity Shells will sell much better if the people think they’re rare, you see Bare with me, take as many shells as you can find and hide 'em on an island Stockpile 'em high until they’re rarer than a diamond Step 2: you gotta make the people think that they want 'em Really want 'em, really fuckin' want 'em, hit 'em like Bronson Influencers, product placement, featured prime time entertainment If you haven’t got a shell, then you're just a fucking wasteman Three: it's monopoly, invest inside some property Start a corporation, make a logo, do it properly "Shells must sell", that will be your new philosophy Swallow all your morals, they're a poor man's quality Four: expand, expand, expand Clear forest, make land, fresh blood on hand Five: why just shells? Why limit yourself? She sells seashells, sell oil as well Six: guns, sell stocks, sell diamonds, sell rocks Sell water to a fish, sell the time to a clock Seven: press on the gas, take your foot off the brakes Then run to be the president of the United States Eight: big smile mate, big wave, that's great Now the truth is overrated, tell lies out the gate Nine: Polarise the people, controversy is the game It don't matter if they hate you if they all say your name Ten: the world is yours Step out on a stage to a round of applause You're a liar, a cheat, a devil, a whore And you sell seashells on the seashore
April 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

My parents used to watch cockfighting in the bedroom

My parents used to watch cockfighting in the bedroom when they thought we were asleep. I'd hear my mother excitedly talking about how much she enjoyed cocks as they jumped around on the bed. What surprised me though was, when we went to Spain she mentioned how cruel she thought bullfighting was. I never confronted her about the hypocrisy though.
October 2021

Kripp has contracted Casualitis

twitchquotes: The average length of Kripp's stream has decreased over the past 3 years from an average length of 11 hours to the current average of 5 hours. In 2 more years, Kripp will stream for 0 hours. What's the cause? Sources say Kripp has contracted a terminal illness - Casualitis. Soon he will join Katarrian in Heaven. BibleThump
twitch chat
November 2015
Kripp

👽 📞 HELLO SINATRAA 👽

twitchquotes: 👽 📞 HELLO SINATRAA 👽 📞 PLANET A92-E HERE 👽 📞 PLEASE RETURN TO US 👽 📞
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March 2018
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

Molediver Hypers

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⠉⢿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠋⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠛⠋⠉⠉⠛⠻⣿⣿⠃⣾⡇⢸⣿⠟⢡⡆⢸ ⡿⠿⡏⢸⣇⢹⣿⠟⠛⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⣴⡿⠋⢥⡀⠈⠻⢰⣿⡇⠸⠏⣴⣿⠄⣼ ⠄⡄⠁⢸⣿⡄⠏⠄⡆⠘⡄⠄⠄⠈⣭⣵⣿⡎⣅⣠⡤⠘⠟⣡⣶⣶⣍⠋⠄⡙ ⠄⣿⠄⢘⣋⣃⠄⢀⣿⠄⢃⠄⠄⠄⠙⠿⠟⠁⢹⣇⣀⣤⣤⣶⡤⠈⣿⡆⢠⡇ ⠄⡿⢰⣿⣿⣿⡧⢸⣿⡆⠞⣀⠄⣀⣀⣤⣴⣾⣿⡿⠿⠋⠉⢉⠠⣾⣿⣷⢸⢀ ⡀⠃⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⡇⢀⣨⣿⣿⡿⠟⢋⣉⡀⠰⣾⡄⠄⣿⡇⢹⣿⣿⠘⣼ ⣷⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣙⠿⠁⣿⠿⠋⡁⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣷⠈⠄⣀⣈⣁⣈⣉⠹⡀⣿ ⣿⡄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⢰⣶⣿⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢀⠁⣿ ⣿⡇⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠸⠛⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⠻⠿⠋⣰⣧⠙⢿⣿⣿⠃⣸⢰⣿ ⣿⣿⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⣠⣴⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⡤⢀⣴⡿⢨⣿ ⣿⣿⡄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⣠⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⣇⠄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠈⠙⠛⠻⠿⠿⠿⠛⠛⠉⠁⠄⢺⣿⣿⣿⠇⢸⣿
February 2021

Teamfight Tactics

Rudy Giuliani brings a plate of evidence

Holy shit. Rudy Giuliani came into the presser to bring me a plate of election fraud evidence and I literally screamed at him and hit the plate of evidence out of his hand. He started yelling "HEEEREEE'S KRAKEN!" at me and I cut the live feed on him. I’m so distressed right now I don’t know what to do. I didn’t mean to do that to Rudy but I’m literally in shock from the evidence tonight. I feel like I’m going to explode. Why the fucking fuck is he losing? This can’t be happening. I’m having a fucking breakdown. I don’t want to believe the world is so corrupt. I want to Build Back Better™. I want Biden to be president and fix this broken country. I cannot fucking deal with this right now. It wasn’t supposed to be like this, I thought he was polling well in Michigan???? This is so fucked.
November 2020

2020 US Election

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