[Copypasta] She sells sea shells on the sea shore

She sells seashells on a seashore But the value of these shells will fall Due to the laws of supply and demand No one wants to buy shells 'cause there's loads on the sand Step 1: you must create a sense of scarcity Shells will sell much better if the people think they’re rare, you see Bare with me, take as many shells as you can find and hide 'em on an island Stockpile 'em high until they’re rarer than a diamond Step 2: you gotta make the people think that they want 'em Really want 'em, really fuckin' want 'em, hit 'em like Bronson Influencers, product placement, featured prime time entertainment If you haven’t got a shell, then you're just a fucking wasteman Three: it's monopoly, invest inside some property Start a corporation, make a logo, do it properly "Shells must sell", that will be your new philosophy Swallow all your morals, they're a poor man's quality Four: expand, expand, expand Clear forest, make land, fresh blood on hand Five: why just shells? Why limit yourself? She sells seashells, sell oil as well Six: guns, sell stocks, sell diamonds, sell rocks Sell water to a fish, sell the time to a clock Seven: press on the gas, take your foot off the brakes Then run to be the president of the United States Eight: big smile mate, big wave, that's great Now the truth is overrated, tell lies out the gate Nine: Polarise the people, controversy is the game It don't matter if they hate you if they all say your name Ten: the world is yours Step out on a stage to a round of applause You're a liar, a cheat, a devil, a whore And you sell seashells on the seashore
April 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Minecraft, but he's torturing my cock and balls.

In this video, I have to beat Minecraft while my friend is torturing my cock and balls. He has a humbler, a stretcher and can actively kick them at any time he wishes. Can I beat the Ender Dragon before my testicles are ruptured? Watch to find out. Also, according to Youtube statistics, only a small percentage of people who watch my videos are actually subscribed, so if you end up liking this video, consider subscribing. It's free and you can always unsubscribe. Enjoy the video.
June 2021

Happy poop

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⣵⣶⣬⣉⡻⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠛⣃⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢡⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣭⣙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠋⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠄⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠄⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣈⠛⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣇⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⢿⣿ ⣿⠟⣋⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿ ⢁⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⣹⣿⣿⣿⣦⠙ ⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣄⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧ ⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏ ⣷⣦⣙⠛⠿⢿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠟⢛⣛⣛⡛⠻⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⢛⣡⣾
April 2021

Marginally optimizing a children's game!

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, loyal fan chiming in here (for once). I think your stream is great! I would have spent my time working towards a cure for cancer, or how to automate food production in the 3rd world, but luckily i stumbled onto your stream and now I can waste my time watching you marginally optimize a children's game! What a career you have made!
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Hey mods, slow mode doesn't affect me

twitchquotes: Hey mods, did you really think that slow mode will affect on me. I will let you know that I have multiple accounts in this chat right now. If you don't believe me, I will copy and paste this on my other accounts right now.
twitch chat
September 2018

MODS

Classic

Dear people who comment on porn

Dear people who comment on porn, why? Do you really think whoever the fuck you’re masturbating to will see “you are gorgeous I would love to tittyfuck you, it would be my pleasure😍😍😍” will fly over to your house have sex with your fatass and then fly back? No. If it ever actually does happen, I’d bet that pornstar does it a lot. Which means constant flying. Porn commenters are causing global warming.
September 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing