[Copypasta] She sells sea shells on the sea shore

She sells seashells on a seashore But the value of these shells will fall Due to the laws of supply and demand No one wants to buy shells 'cause there's loads on the sand Step 1: you must create a sense of scarcity Shells will sell much better if the people think they’re rare, you see Bare with me, take as many shells as you can find and hide 'em on an island Stockpile 'em high until they’re rarer than a diamond Step 2: you gotta make the people think that they want 'em Really want 'em, really fuckin' want 'em, hit 'em like Bronson Influencers, product placement, featured prime time entertainment If you haven’t got a shell, then you're just a fucking wasteman Three: it's monopoly, invest inside some property Start a corporation, make a logo, do it properly "Shells must sell", that will be your new philosophy Swallow all your morals, they're a poor man's quality Four: expand, expand, expand Clear forest, make land, fresh blood on hand Five: why just shells? Why limit yourself? She sells seashells, sell oil as well Six: guns, sell stocks, sell diamonds, sell rocks Sell water to a fish, sell the time to a clock Seven: press on the gas, take your foot off the brakes Then run to be the president of the United States Eight: big smile mate, big wave, that's great Now the truth is overrated, tell lies out the gate Nine: Polarise the people, controversy is the game It don't matter if they hate you if they all say your name Ten: the world is yours Step out on a stage to a round of applause You're a liar, a cheat, a devil, a whore And you sell seashells on the seashore
April 2021
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

Unrealized losses

She runs her hand through your thinning hair and laughs. “What?” you ask absentmindedly. You’re looking at Futures, and you’re surprised to see them red. “I want you to play with me.” She says it playfully, but the single ounce of you that isn’t totally aloof realizes she said this in earnest. And so you do. You throw your phone, and you pin her to the sofa, then the ground. You both roll about, wrestling, like lion cubs. Kissing, lightly biting. Sometime later, you both stop, breathing hard. She grabs an open bottle of red wine, and you pass it back and forth. Eventually she says, “I want to do that more.” But you’ve already found your phone again to check Futures. Still red. “Uh huh,” you say, distracted. She stares at you for a long moment, but you don’t realize it. Silently, she gets up and goes to bed, and you don’t say a word because you don’t notice. She hasn’t left you yet, but she will soon. Unrealized losses.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Mario Party Superstars Bowser Eat Shit Sticker

⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⢀⣦⠀⠀⠈⠙⠻⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⢛⣿⣿⣧⣝⣻⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢋⣴⣿⣿⡿⠀⢸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠃⢀⣾⠟⠀⣈⣂⣀⣀⠀⣴⠞⣿⠶⠛⠛⠛⠁⠈⠻⢿⢻⣻⣿⣿⣿⠏⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣯⠀⠘⢁⣤⣾⣿⣿⠉⠙⠛⠋⠀⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⣷⢹⣦⣴⣾⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⣿⣿⣿ ⣟⣋⡁⠀⠰⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⢿⣿⠁⠀⣿⣿⣿ ⠛⠿⣏⠀⢠⣈⠻⣿⣿⢱⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣤⡌⠀⠀⠛⠛⢛ ⣀⠀⠀⢈⣻⣿⠿⠛⠉⠸⣿⡶⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣧⡀⢠⣿⣿⣦⣝ ⣿⣿⣾⡟⠉⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⡙⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣶⢿⡇⠀⢀⣀⣀⡈⢿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠀⠈⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠙⠻⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⠋⠀⠀⢰⠄⠀⠀⠀⠛⠋⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⡹⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⣿⣿ ⡀⠀⠀⠹⣧⠀⠀⢀⣬⣥⡤⣠⣤⡰⣿⣟⣿⣦⣶⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⢎⠹⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣰⣶⣦⡤⣠⣿⣿⡿ ⣿⣷⡆⠀⣽⠇⢠⣿⡿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣃⢨⢀⣿⡿⠱⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣱⣿⡧⠉⠀ ⣿⠏⠀⣼⠏⠀⢠⠍⢀⡐⣡⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⠝⡛⠿⠟⣻⡍⠀⢩⢠⣿⣿⠃⠀⢬⣟⡻⠿⠿⠇⢿⡕⠀⢠⣶ ⠁⠀⣼⠃⠀⠀⠈⠀⠠⠈⣴⠎⠀⢰⣦⡶⠇⡃⠀⠀⠈⠃⣤⣀⣿⣿⢋⣀⠀⠈⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠘⣷⡀⠘⠻ ⠀⢘⣷⣤⣀⠀⠀⣴⡦⢃⣵⣶⠀⠈⠋⠁⣄⣻⣤⣶⣶⣶⣯⣽⣿⣿⡜⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣄⠸⣷⠀⠀ ⠀⠈⠋⠉⠛⠷⣮⣙⢵⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠐⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣡⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⠘⣛⣭⡶⠟⢣⣤ ⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠈⢛⣫⡍⠀⠀⠀⣹⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢡⣶⠟⠋⢁⣤⣾⣿⣿ ⠠⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠉⠻⠆⠛⣿⠟⠛⢿⠟⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠔⠘⠛⠛⠻⠟⠛⠛⠛⠃⠿⠿⠓⢲⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣟⣛⠃⠃⣸⢿⡄⣀⠛⣿⠛⣃⡆⢰⣟⡛⠀⣿⣇⣀⣿⢸⡇⢘⢻⡟⢛⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣟⣉⡀⢰⡿⠾⣷⠘⡇⣿⠀⣬⡁⢠⣉⣻⡆⣿⡏⠉⣿⢸⡇⢸⢸⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠁⠉⠁⢀⣭⣥⣧⣭⣴⣌⣃⣬⣍⣩⣄⠉⠁⠀⢉⣬⣥⣴⣬⣥⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡖⠀⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣼⣿⣶⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
January 2022

Please tell chat that you Love them

twitchquotes: Hello, Mr Morosan. We want to inform you that your channel has now been striked twice. This is due to the lack of love you give your chat. Please start telling the chat that you "Love them" or else your channel will be terminated. Thank you, Love Department at Twitch.
twitch chat
April 2018
Kripp

I've become so much like Eren Jaeger, it's scary.

I've become so much like Eren Jaeger, it's scary. I wear black cardigans, verbally assault women, and physically assault my friends. When I look in the mirror, I can't help but say "戦い, 戦い" (which means fight, fight in american.) I grew my hair out long because I don't care so now I have to wear it in a bun and I don't care what people think so shut fuck up Hange! I always leave an open wound on my hand, and go out of my way to show it to everyone so they are reminded that I am in control. When I see dogs being taken on walks I get mad at them for not being free like I am. I can't have sex with my girlfriend anymore without forcing her to dress up as Mikasa or Historia, both of whom remind me of Armin. When I order fast food, I refuse to call them french fries and insist on calling them freedom fries. I just keep moving forward, until my enemies are destroyed.
April 2022

Anime

Weebs

Attack on Titan

Sneaky goes 8th in TFT 8 times in a row

twitchquotes: After going 8th 8 times in a row, "Patient 8" hits his head on the wall 8 times in quick succession. The patient only communicates to his "chat"; a bunch of random sentences strung together to find out what will make the patient communicate. The word "Meteos" seems to trigger some sort of erotic response in the patient.
twitch chat
May 2021
Sneaky

Teamfight Tactics

Text-to-Speech Playing