[Copypasta] She sells sea shells on the sea shore

She sells seashells on a seashore But the value of these shells will fall Due to the laws of supply and demand No one wants to buy shells 'cause there's loads on the sand Step 1: you must create a sense of scarcity Shells will sell much better if the people think theyโ€™re rare, you see Bare with me, take as many shells as you can find and hide 'em on an island Stockpile 'em high until theyโ€™re rarer than a diamond Step 2: you gotta make the people think that they want 'em Really want 'em, really fuckin' want 'em, hit 'em like Bronson Influencers, product placement, featured prime time entertainment If you havenโ€™t got a shell, then you're just a fucking wasteman Three: it's monopoly, invest inside some property Start a corporation, make a logo, do it properly "Shells must sell", that will be your new philosophy Swallow all your morals, they're a poor man's quality Four: expand, expand, expand Clear forest, make land, fresh blood on hand Five: why just shells? Why limit yourself? She sells seashells, sell oil as well Six: guns, sell stocks, sell diamonds, sell rocks Sell water to a fish, sell the time to a clock Seven: press on the gas, take your foot off the brakes Then run to be the president of the United States Eight: big smile mate, big wave, that's great Now the truth is overrated, tell lies out the gate Nine: Polarise the people, controversy is the game It don't matter if they hate you if they all say your name Ten: the world is yours Step out on a stage to a round of applause You're a liar, a cheat, a devil, a whore And you sell seashells on the seashore
April 2021
I used to be a real ad
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These are classic hedge fund tricks.

WHAT'S HAPPENING RIGHT NOW IS NOT A SELL-OFF. Melvin Capital is going to throw a lot of tricks at us that will make it look like the stock is dropping. Don't fall for it. Do not sell if you see any of these things happen: GME drops by 30% or more after hours SEC filings show that shorts have all exited their positions GME drops below $1 a share The Gamestop locations near you start closing GME files for bankruptcy GME is delisted from the stock exchange Your bank forecloses on your home for late payment Your children have children of their own who grow up and become investment bankers and tell you that you should stop telling people you're "diamond handing" a company that went out of business 30 years ago These are classic hedge fund tricks.
February 2021

WallStreetBets

When batman beats mentally ill clowns

twitchquotes: How come when batman dons a suit of armor and beats up mentally ill clowns its "Heroic" but when I do it I'm "Committing manslaughter" and I'm "Not allowed in McDonalds again"
twitch chat
November 2019

Chinese gibberish copypasta

twitchquotes: ่‡ฃไบฎ่จ€๏ผšๅ…ˆๅธๅ‰ตๆฅญๆœชๅŠ๏ผŒ่€Œไธญ้“ๅดฉๆฎ‚ใ€‚ไปŠๅคฉไธ‹ไธ‰ๅˆ†๏ผŒ็›Šๅทž็–ฒๅผŠ๏ผŒๆญค่ช ๅฑๆ€ฅๅญ˜ไบกไน‹็ง‹ไนŸใ€‚็„ถไพ่ก›ไน‹่‡ฃ๏ผŒไธๆ‡ˆๆ–ผๅ…ง๏ผ›ๅฟ ๅฟ—ไน‹ๅฃซ๏ผŒๅฟ˜่บซๆ–ผๅค–่€…๏ผŒ่“‹่ฟฝๅ…ˆๅธไน‹ๆฎŠ้‡๏ผŒๆฌฒๅ ฑไน‹ๆ–ผ้™›ไธ‹ไนŸใ€‚่ช ๅฎœ้–‹ๅผต่–่ฝ๏ผŒไปฅๅ…‰ๅ…ˆๅธ้บๅพท๏ผŒๆขๅผ˜ๅฟ—ๅฃซไน‹ๆฐฃ๏ผ›ไธๅฎœๅฆ„่‡ช่ฒ่–„๏ผŒๅผ•ๅ–ปๅคฑ็พฉ๏ผŒไปฅๅกžๅฟ ่ซซไน‹่ทฏไนŸใ€‚ๅฎฎไธญๅบœไธญ๏ผŒไฟฑ็‚บ้ซ”๏ผŒ้™Ÿ็ฝฐ่‡งๅฆ๏ผŒไธๅฎœ็•ฐๅŒใ€‚่‹ฅๆœ‰ไฝœๅงฆ็Šฏ็ง‘๏ผŒๅŠ็‚บๅฟ ๅ–„่€…๏ผŒๅฎœไป˜ๆœ‰ๅธ๏ผŒ่ซ–ๅ…ถๅˆ‘่ณž๏ผŒไปฅๆ˜ญ้™›ไธ‹ๅนณๆ˜Žไน‹ๆฒป๏ผŒไธๅฎœ็ฏ‡็ง๏ผŒไฝฟๅ…งๅค–็•ฐๆณ•ไนŸใ€‚ไพไธญใ€ไพ้ƒŽ้ƒญๆ”ธไน‹ใ€่ฒป่ค˜ใ€่‘ฃๅ…็ญ‰๏ผŒๆญค็š†่‰ฏๅฏฆ๏ผŒๅฟ—ๆ…ฎๅฟ ็ด”๏ผŒๆ˜ฏไปฅๅ…ˆๅธ็ฐกๆ‹”ไปฅ้บ้™›ไธ‹ใ€‚ๆ„šไปฅ็‚บๅฎฎไธญไน‹ไบ‹๏ผŒไบ‹็„กๅคงๅ‰ๅ‡บๅธซ่กจ
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June 2014
EtrnlWait

Le fedora has arrived

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆleโ–ˆโ–ˆfedoraโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆhasโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆarrivedโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘ โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
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February 2015

Classic

Hi Kripp this is Battlemaster's wife Housewifemaster

twitchquotes: Hi Kripp this is Battlemaster's wife Housewifemaster, i've noticed that my husband is never home to play with the Childrenmasters and they are really missing their Fathermaster. Could you choose my dear Husbandmaster less so that my kids can grow up with an actual Dadmaster? Thank you Kripp, maybe he can take you to Gymmaster so you can put some muscle on that scrawny vegan body.
twitch chat
May 2020
Kripp

Hearthstone

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