[Copypasta] There was nothing I could do but donate

twitchquotes: ☑ “These Hafu nudes are CRAZY!” ☑ “My dick can't stay limp against nudes like that” ☑ "She NEEDED precisely those two nips to win" ☑ “She took the only nudes that could make me beat off” ☑ "She had the perfect muff" ☑ “There was nothing I could do but donate” ☑ “She cried profusely"
twitch chat
October 2014
I used to be a real ad
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Rank 11 can be tough

twitchquotes: ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ ɪ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ʀᴀɴᴋ 11 ᴄᴀɴ ʙᴇ ᴛᴏᴜɢʜ, sᴛᴀʏ sᴛʀᴏɴɢ ʙʀᴏ. Yᴏᴜʀ ɢᴏᴏᴅ ᴅᴇᴄᴋ sʜᴏᴜʟᴅ ʙᴇ ʙᴇᴀᴛɪɴɢ ᴀʟʟ ᴛʜᴇsᴇ ɢᴜʏs ʙᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇʏ'ʀᴇ sᴏ ʟᴜᴄᴋʏ! Sᴏᴏɴ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ ɢᴏ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴛᴏ ᴀʀᴇɴᴀ ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴀsᴜᴀʟs ᴄᴀɴ ᴡɪɴ ɢᴀᴍᴇs. Aʜʜ ʏᴇs... ᴀʀᴇɴᴀ, ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ᴄᴏɴsᴛʀᴜᴄᴛɪɴɢ ᴀ ᴅᴇᴄᴋ ᴏғ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴄʜᴏɪᴄᴇ ɪs ɴᴏᴛ ᴀɴ ɪssᴜᴇ.
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

10 years since Dota 2 update

twitchquotes: １０　ｙｅａｒｓ　ｓｉｎｃｅ　Ｄｏｔａ　２　ｕｐｄａｔｅ．　Ｉ　ｗａｌｋ　ｔｈｒｏｕｇｈ　ｔｈｅ　ｅ ｍｐｔｙ　ｓｔｒｅｅｔｓ　ｔｒｙｉｎｇ　ｔｏ　ｔｈｉｎｋ　ｏｆ　ｓｏｍｅｔｈｉｎｇ　ｅｌｓｅ　ｂｕｔ 　Ｉ　ａｌｗａｙｓ　ｅｎｄ　ｕｐ　ｓｉｔｔｉｎｇ　ｈｅｒｅ，　ｉｎ　ｆｒｏｎｔ　ｏｆ　ｍｙ　ｃｏｍｐ ｕｔｅｒ．　Ｉ　ｓｔａｒｅ　ａｔ　ｔｈｅ　ｓｃｒｅｅｎ　ｆｏｒ　ｈｏｕｒｓ　ａｎｄ　ｔｒｙ　ｔｏ　ｓ ｕｍｍｏｎ　Icefrog．　Ｉ　ｗａｔｃｈ　ｏｔｈｅｒ　ｇａｍｅｓ　ｕｐｄａｔｉｎｇ　ａｎｄ　ｇｅ ｔｔｉｎｇ　ｎｅｗ　ｈｅｒｏｅｓ　ｂｕｔ　ｉｔ　ｉｓ　ｎｏ　ｇｏｏｄ．　Ｉ　ｃｏｕｎｔｅｒ　ｐｉｃｋ 　Ｓｎｉｐｅｒ　ｔｏ　ｒｅｓｉｓｔ　ｔｈｅ　ｍｅｔａ，　ｂｕｔ　ｉｔ'ｓ　ａｌｌ　ｍｅａｎｉｎｇｌｅ ｓｓ．　Ｔｈｅ　ｅｎｄ　ｉｓ　ｎｅａｒ．　Ｔｈｅｎ　Ｉ　ｌｏｏｋ　ｏｎ　ｔｈｅ　ｐａｔｃｈ－ｕｐｄａ ｔｅ　ｈｉｓｔｏｒｙ　ａｎｄ　ｃｒｙ　ｍｙｓｅｌｆ　ｔｏ　ｓｌｅｅｐ．
twitch chat
April 2015
SingSing

Dota 2

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⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣴⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⡄⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢋⣵⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⣩⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣬⣙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣷⡍⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢹⠃⣠⣾⣿⣿⡿⢋⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠈⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⡙⣿⣿⣿⢦⡀⢣⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⡿⠀⡯⠊⣡⣿⣿⠏⣴⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⣀⣤⣤⠀⣤⣤⡀⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣌⢻⣿⣧⡉⠺⡄⢸⠹⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠃⢷⠀⡠⢺⣿⣿⡏⣰⣿⣿⡟⠁⣠⣾⣿⣿⠿⠀⠿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠘⣿⣿⣿⡄⣿⣿⣯⠢⡀⢸⠀⢹⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⢸⠊⣠⣿⣿⣿⢀⣿⣿⣿⠁⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣹⣿⣿⣦⠈⢺⠀⢸⣿ ⣿⠹⡆⠀⣴⢻⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⠀⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⢿⣿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⡇⢈⣿⣿⣿⠀⣿⣿⣿⠳⡀⢀⡇⢸ ⣿⡀⠹⣸⠉⣿⣿⡿⢋⣠⣿⣿⣿⡀⠸⠟⢋⣀⢠⣾⣿⣷⡀⣀⡙⠻⠁⢸⣿⣿⣿⣈⠻⣿⣿⡄⠹⡜⠀⣸ ⣿⢧⠀⠇⢠⣿⣿⣷⡘⣿⣿⣿⣟⣁⡀⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠀⣠⣉⣿⣿⣿⡿⢠⣿⡿⢧⠀⠁⣰⢿ ⣿⡌⢷⡄⣾⠀⣿⣿⣷⡜⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⠈⠉⠛⠛⠛⠉⢁⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣰⣿⣿⡇⢸⢀⡴⠃⣼ ⣿⣷⣄⠙⢿⠀⣿⢿⣿⣿⣌⠿⠟⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠿⠟⣼⣿⡿⢫⠃⢸⠋⢀⣼⣿ ⣿⣿⣟⣶⣄⡀⢸⡀⢻⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣶⣍⣙⠛⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠛⣋⣥⣶⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⠁⣸⢀⣴⣶⣯⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠾⣧⠀⢯⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢫⠃⢠⢷⣛⣉⣽⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⣁⡈⢧⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⣠⢋⣀⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣉⠉⠉⠉⣀⣀⡭⠟⠛⢛⣛⠛⠛⠛⣛⠛⠛⠩⣥⣀⣈⢁⢀⣀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣝⡛⢉⣁⣀⣤⠖⣫⣴⣿⣿⣷⣬⡙⣦⣤⣀⡈⣉⣩⣯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
ascii art
January 2021

Hey Kripp, it's your dog, Dex!

twitchquotes: OhMyDog Hey Kripp, it's your dog, Dex! I just wanted to let you know that some more of my fur fell out today. Maybe it's that "vegan" diet you've been putting me on? Anyways, I love you, and wish you would stop playing that card game all the time and talk to me and Rania sometimes. Sorry, that's a lot to ask, I know you need money to buy us more "kale" or whatever. Anyways, good luck on your "Heart Stone"! OhMyDog
twitch chat
June 2016
Kripp

⚠️ ATTENTION ALL MEN: Be EXTREMELY careful you ONLY buy shower products FOR MEN.

I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my penis was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label: For Women.
August 2021
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