[Copypasta] There was nothing I could do but donate

twitchquotes: ☑ “These Hafu nudes are CRAZY!” ☑ “My dick can't stay limp against nudes like that” ☑ "She NEEDED precisely those two nips to win" ☑ “She took the only nudes that could make me beat off” ☑ "She had the perfect muff" ☑ “There was nothing I could do but donate” ☑ “She cried profusely"
twitch chat
October 2014
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More Copypastas

Not funny I didn't laugh

Not funny I didn't laugh. Your joke is so bad I would have preferred the joke went over my head and you gave up re-telling me the joke. To be honest this is a horrid attempt at trying to get a laugh out of me. Not a chuckle, not a hehe, not even a subtle burst of air out of my esophagus. Science says before you laugh your brain preps your face muscles but I didn't even feel the slightest twitch. 0/10 this joke is so bad I cannot believe anyone legally allowed you to be creative at all. The amount of brain power you must have put into that joke has the potential to power every house on Earth. Get a personality and learn how to make jokes, read a book. I'm not saying this to be funny I genuinely mean it on how this is just bottom barrel embarrassment at comedy. You've single handedly killed humor and every comedic act on the planet. I'm so disappointed that society has failed as a whole in being able to teach you how to be funny. Honestly if I put in all my power and time to try and make your joke funny it would require Einstein himself to build a device to strap me into so I can be connected to the energy of a billion stars to do it, and even then all that joke would get from people is a subtle scuff. You're lucky I still have the slightest of empathy for you after telling that joke otherwise I would have committed every war crime in the book just to prevent you from attempting any humor ever again. We should put that joke in text books so future generations can be wary of becoming such an absolute comedic failure. Im disappointed, hurt, and outright offended that my precious time has been wasted in my brain understanding that joke. In the time that took I was planning on helping kids who have been orphaned, but because of that you've waisted my time explaining the obscene integrity of your terrible attempt at comedy. Now those kids are suffering without meals and there's nobody to blame but you. I hope you're happy with what you have done and I truly hope you can move on and learn from this piss poor attempt
September 2019

Classic

HeyGuys

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣶⣾⣿⣶⣦⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠻⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣅⣀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣹⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢽⠟⠁⠰⠿⠻⢾⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣷⠒⡌⠱⣀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣴⠊⠀⣤⡀⣼⣶⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⡇⠀⠀⠃⠀⠀ ⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠉⠙⠉⠉⠁⠝⢹⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⠀⠃⠀⠀⢰⢠⢢ ⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣀⠈⠒⠒⢡⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠈⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⠆⠸ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠉⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡆ ⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⠀ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠁⠀ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠃⠃⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀
September 2020

FeelsDankManRead

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⠄⣾⠛⠛⣷⢀⣾⠟⠻⣦⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠄⠄⢰⡿⠋⠄⠄⣠⡾⠋⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠄⣬⡄⠄⠄⠄⣭⡅⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⡛⢋⣉⣭⣭⣥⣬⣤⣤⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣴⣵⣿⣟⡉⣥⣶⣶⠶⠶⠬⣉⡂⠹⣟⡫⠽⠟⢒⣒⠒⠆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣭⣃⡈⠄⠄⠘⠃⡰⢶⣶⣿⠏⠄⠄⠙⡛⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣉⣉⣩⣭⣶⣿⡿⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠾⣋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢩⣶⣒⠒⠶⢖⣒⣚⡛⠭⠭⠭⠍⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⣀⣀⡀⠄ ⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣬⣭⣭⣭⣤⡤⠤⠶⠟⣋⣀⣀⡀⢀⣤⣾⠟⠋⠈⢳⠄ ⣴⣦⡒⠬⠭⣭⣭⣭⣙⣛⠋⠭⡍⠁⠈⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⢻⠛⠉⢻⠁⠄⠄⠄⢸⡀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣤⠤⢬⢍⣼⣦⡾⠛⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⡇⠄⢸⠄⠄⠄⢦⣄⣇ ⣿⣿⡿⣋⣭⣭⣶⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⠃⠄⡜⠄⠄⠄⠔⣿⣿
November 2021

Pepe

The Battle of Gamestop rages on.

The Battle of Gamestop rages on. Pre-market we could hear the bears in no-man’s land, baiting us towards higher prices so the shorts could do their dirty work. I was stationed at the 13.80 line, and knew the morning was going to be hot. I shoveled a breakfast of tendies and said a quick prayer to Father Cohen. When the bell rang, the bears surged into our trenches. Blood and rainbow fur filled the air and littered the ground. The Diamond Division has seen worse days, and we held firm. As the bears retreated we gave chase to retake ground we’d lost in the past week. As I caught my breath near the 14.50, I could see bodies everywhere; paper hands who had fallen in earlier battles. One of them groaned and reached a hand towards me. I spat on him and kept moving. No honor in retreat, and no sympathy for self-inflicted wounds. This war won’t be won in a day, but it will be won. Tell my wife’s boyfriend to tell her I love her.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Mr. K-Kripp, I charted your win rate for the last month

twitchquotes: monkaS 👉 📉 Um.... Mr. K-Kripp, I charted your win rate for the last month...
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing