twitchquotes:
Two guys are in a boat with three cigarettes. They had no fire, so they threw one of the cigarettes overboard, and the entire boat became a cigarette lighter.
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I used to be a real ad
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forsenIQ
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢁⣤⣤⣤⣀⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠙⠛⠄⣾⡏⠉⠙⢿⣷⣄⠘⢿⣿⣿⡿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄⣴⡇⢀⠄⠹⣷⣄⠄⠄⠻⣿⣆⠘⠿⠟⠁⠈⠄⠄⠁⠉⠛⠻⣿⣿
⠁⣠⡀⠁⠄⣿⡇⢺⣧⠄⡹⣿⣦⡀⢀⣿⣿⠄⢠⣴⣦⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠙
⠸⢿⣷⡀⠄⣿⡇⠄⣿⣿⡟⠊⠛⠿⡿⡿⠋⢀⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⣤⡀⠹⣿⣦⢹⣿⣿⠛⢻⣷⣄⠄⣠⣤⡤⢖⣿⣯⣄⠙⢿⣿⣦⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⣿⣷⡄⠙⢿⣷⣍⠁⢠⡀⠛⠉⡠⣿⣿⡿⣶⣌⡛⠛⠿⣦⣙⢿⣷⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⣿⣿⣿⣆⠄⢻⣿⠖⠄⣿⣶⢋⣾⣿⣿⣿⣎⢿⣿⣿⣶⣄⠉⠣⠘⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⣀⣤⣾⣿⣿⡘⣇⣈⣿⣿⡟⣾⡟⠋⣛⡛⠿⠆⠄⢡⠄⠄⠄⠄
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣉⣉⣩⣾⠏⣰⣿⣿⠏⠑⡀⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⣀
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⢸⣿⣿⠿⠯⠘⡿⠿⠁⢐⢿⣿⣿⣷⣶⠇⠄⠄⣀⣶⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠸⣿⠛⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣵⣽⡛⠛⠁⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠈⢸⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣤⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣠⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
Forsen
Emote
Long ago in a distant land, I, Aku
twitchquotes:
Long ago in a distant land, I, Aku, the shapeshifting Master of Darkness, unleashed an unspeakable evil! But a foolish Samurai warrior, wielding a magic sword, stepped forth to oppose me. Before the final blow was struck, I tore open a portal in time and flung him into the future, where my evil is law! Now the fool seeks to return to the past, and undo the future that is Aku!
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Kaceytron's Porn Producer
twitchquotes:
ＫＡＣＥＹＴＲＯＮ, ＨＥＲＥ＇Ｓ ＹＯＵＲ ＰＯＲＮ ＰＲＯＤＵＣＥＲ ＣＡＬＬＩＮＧ ＹＯＵ ＯＵＴ！ Ｉ ＣＯＵＬＤＮ＇Ｔ ＲＥＡＣＨ ＹＯＵ ＯＮ ＰＯＲＮＨＵＢ ＯＲ ＢＲＡＺＺＥＲＳ, ＳＯ Ｉ＇Ｍ ＣＡＬＬＩＮＧ ＹＯＵ ＯＵＴ ＨＥＲＥ ＯＮ ＴＨＥ ＴＷＩＴＣＨ ＣＨＡＴ, ＨＯＰＥ ＹＯＵ ＤＯＮ＇Ｔ ＭＩＮＤ！ ＷＥ ＪＵＳＴ ＳＣＨＥＤＵＬＥＤ Ａ ＮＥＷ ＭＯＶＩＥ ＣＡＬＬＥＤ "ＫＩＮＧ ＤＯＮＧＥＲ" ＹＯＵ＇ＬＬ ＢＥ ＴＨＥ ＭＡＩＮ ＳＴＡＲ ＡＬＯＮＧ ＷＩＴＨ ＢＥＮ Ｄ＇ＯＶＥＲ ＡＮＤ ＫＩＮＫＹ ＫＯＮＧ！ ＣＯＭＥ ＯＶＥＲ ＴＯＭＯＲＲＯＷ ＡＴ １２ＰＭ, ＷＥ ＳＴＡＲＴ ＰＲＯＤＵＣＴＩＯＮ ＡＴ ＴＨＡＴ ＨＯＵＲ. ＩＦ ＹＯＵ ＤＯ ＷＥＬＬ, ＹＯＵ＇ＬＬ ＨＡＶＥ ＡＮ ＥＸＴＲＡ. ＜３ ＸＯＸＯ
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Kaceytron
Hit a Nammer with a hammer
twitchquotes:
NaM 🔨 
Hit a Nammer with a hammer
Hit a Nammer with a hammer
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Weebs
Wife attack AITA?
I (46M) was having lunch (lasagna) with my side chick (42F) on a lovely day (23°C) when all of a sudden my wife (44F) of 35 years barges in and starts attacking me (46M). Wtf (what the fuck) was she thinking I had been having sex with my side chick (42F) every other weekend it's not like I was doing this every day. She (44F) then starts attacking her (42F) and the wait staff (32M, 26M and 29M) have to intervene. Completely ruined my lunch. AITA?