twitchquotes:
Two guys are in a boat with three cigarettes. They had no fire, so they threw one of the cigarettes overboard, and the entire boat became a cigarette lighter.
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What happened to this ad? :(
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Sorry I dropped my bag of doritos
twitchquotes:
βΌ ββΌ βο»Ώ β² βΊ βΌ β β² βΊ βΌ βΌ β β² βΊ βΌο»Ώ β β² βΊ βΌ β β²ο»Ώ βΊ βΌ βο»Ώ β² βΊο»Ώ βΌ βο»Ώ β² βΌ β β² βΊ βΌ β β² βΊο»Ώ βΌ ββΌ β β² βΊ βΌ β β² βΊ βΌ sorry I droppedο»Ώ my bag of doritos
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Kripp
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So as a joke, I fucked my friend in a Red M&M cosplay
So as a joke, I went to my friend's house wearing Red M&Mβs wrapper and shoes. I could barely stop my laughter as he went as red as an M&M and looked at me from head to toe with a bit of drool in his mouth. The way he stared made mde feel a bit funny too, but I decided to tease him more by taking off my wrapper. He asked me, "Are you serious?" and I said "Itβs that kind of party."
He went silent for what seemed like forever, so I asked him, "What's the matter, canβt resist my chocolaty interior?" He said he's confused, but then his boner got really hard, which made me take off his clothes. I expected him to scream, "Stop!" as I kissed him and stroked his cock, but he instead shouted "I melt in your mouth, not in your hands!" which made me get a boner myself. Before I knew it, I was blowing him for the first time till he came.
His semen was so thick, it got stuck inside my throat no matter how hard I swallowed. He then said, "I want to fuck you now!" and seeing that we've already gone that far and we were both naked, I obliged. A few hours later, the jerk went all pale and said to me "Why did we do that? Now I'm not fucking straight." But he still looked so cute all confused like that, so I took pity on him and reassured while wiping his cum off my face, "Let's just pretend I'ms till Red M&M."
pressing ctrl-c ctrl-v every 2 seconds as a hobby
I don't get it either. I work on projects while I have the stream on and I absolutely cannot fathom standing in front of the stream and pressing ctrl-c ctrl-v every 2 seconds as a hobby. Like it triggers me just how much of a waste of your life it is.
Intelligence and tolerance
twitchquotes:
This is the best possible chat. The combination of inteligence and tolerance, it's just crazy. I never thought I'd ever say this, but you guys make me proud I'm a member of twitch chat. 
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