[Copypasta] Two guys are in a boat with three cigarettes

twitchquotes: Two guys are in a boat with three cigarettes. They had no fire, so they threw one of the cigarettes overboard, and the entire boat became a cigarette lighter.
twitch chat
December 2018
What happened to this ad? :(
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Amogus Army

๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž๐“ŠนแŽฏ ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž๐“ŠนแŽฏ ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž๐“ŠนแŽฏ ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž๐“ŠนแŽฏ ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž๐“ŠนแŽฏ ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž๐“ŠนแŽฏ ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž๐“ŠนแŽฏ ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž๐“ŠนแŽฏ ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž ๐“Œœเถž ๐“Œฑเถž ๐“Œเถž
April 2022

Among Us / Amogus

Trolling My Office With Among Us PART 8 (GRAND SERIES FINALE)

I was dashing around the office. Everyone looked at me weird. I was screaming, "SUS! SUS! AMOGUS!" Everyone started chanting with me. "SUS! SUS! AMOGUS! AMONG SUS! WHEN THE IMPOSTER IS SUS!" We all did the Among Us beatbox in unison. It was beautiful. Like a horse waving its mane in the air on a bright and pretty day. But suddenly I noticed; one of the kids wasn't doing the Among Drip beatbox! So I ran over to her. "Hey kid," I said, "Stop being an asparagus or whatever your dumb star signs are and be not sussy with us!" She looked at me weird and said "Whatever, old man." That was so disrespectful and SUS of her! So I put my hands around her neck and twisted her head off "Like in that one kill animation in Among Us." Everyone looked at me in horror, even the ones who were Among Beatboxing with me! Everyone was looking at me like I had just sexually abused a Syrian 4 year old refugee (which I had done before.) I said "What?" when suddenly the elevator opened. It was the CEO of Pepsi-co! I noticed the Pepsi pin on her shirt and said "When the Pepsi is sus!" because it reminded me of the Among Us crewmate .I did the sussy Among Us beatbox. You know the one? It goes; ding ding ding ding ding ding ding, ding ding ding! BM BM! You know the one! But, before I could finish it, I noticed; her boobs were big! I took my finger and poked her titty that was almost bursting out of her shirt. "Booba." I said. She had a face more horrified than anyone in the room, like before when everyone looked at me last week like I murdered Bosnian children. You remember that, right? She screamed "SECURITY!" Two buff men with pecs almost as big as hers and clothes so tight you could see their 12-pack abs through the shirt tackled me. I said "That's a bit SUSSY!" (Like how the guy said it in the "STOP POSTING ABOUT AMONG US" rant. "You're not wholesome Keanu Chungus 100 Fortnite bad TikTok cringe Minecraft & Reddit good." I said. I got out and kicked their nuts. Although they were big, (not as big as my magnum mega-cock, you know like the size of Danny Devito's?) they still cried when I kicked their nuts. "You fucking cracker-jacks! You're Tik-Tokers trying to invade Reddit!" I screamed. I dashed for the door but an alarm started blaring and steel barriers went down over the windows. I barely slid out of the door before the steel door closed under me. I heard the alarms blaring even from inside. I started running, running away trying to flee the scene. Not even half a mile away I saw a SWAT police car dash by me. It started to slow down, oh shit, they noticed me! I jumped into a nearby bush and hid, hoping he wouldn't see me. Quickly, a bunch of men fully armed with automatic rifles and heavy armor came out of the back, scoping the area around. "We can't let him get away!" I heard one of them yell. Were they talking about me? I didn't do anything sus, at least if murder, sexual harassment, and assault don't count as being sus. I stayed still, not even making a sound. A few minutes in, I heard my dickhole queef. It didn't make that much of a sound but I just barely saw out of the bush, the SWAT team start looking around. Shit. They heard my cock fart. I couldn't move as it would make too much noise. Eventually, after a while of looking, they just left. I was free. I quickly got out and ran, but making sure to run behind the bushes so I wouldn't be spotted. I eventually got into the main part of the city. The town wasn't all that big, but it was big enough for me to hide. I did it. I really did it. I had gotten away. Eventually, I made it far. Far out of town. I can't even tell Reddit where I am. It's too secret. I'm currently living a secret life in my inconspicuous location. But, this is the story of how I trolled my office. With Among Us.
April 2021

Trolling with Among Us

Among Us / Amogus

Do not call your significant other honey

Do ๐Ÿ‘ not ๐Ÿ‘ call ๐Ÿ‘ your ๐Ÿ‘ significant ๐Ÿ‘ other ๐Ÿ‘ honey ๐Ÿ‘ unless ๐Ÿ‘ you ๐Ÿ‘ are ๐Ÿ‘ a ๐Ÿ‘ bee ๐Ÿ‘ you ๐Ÿ‘ are ๐Ÿ‘ appropriating ๐Ÿ‘ bee ๐Ÿ‘ culture, ๐Ÿ‘ this ๐Ÿ‘ cannot ๐Ÿ‘ bee ๐Ÿ‘ accepted ๐Ÿ‘
October 2021

Taking my polar bear for a walk

twitchquotes: โ•ญ( อกยฐ อœส– อกยฐ)โ•ฏโ•ฒ_____ส•ยฐ แดฅยฐส” Oh, don't mind me. Just taking my polar bear for a walk.
twitch chat
November 2014
Trump

Chug jug with you (lyrics)

We got a... 1# Victory Royale, yeah, Fortnite we 'bout to get down (Get down!) Ten kills on the board right now Just wiped out Tomato Town My friend just got downed, I revived him now we're heading southbound Now we're in the Pleasant Park streets, look at the map, go to the marked sheet (Chorus) Take me to your Xbox to play Fortnite today! You can take me to Moisty Mire, but not Loot Lake! I really love to.. Chug Jug with you! We can be pro Fortnite gamers! (End of chorus) He said.. "Hey Broski!", "You got some heals and a shield pot?" "I need healing, and I am only at 1 HP." "Hey dude, sorry!", "I found nothing on this safari." "I checked the upstairs of that house, but not the underneath yet." "There's a chest that's just down there,", "The storm is coming fast and you need heals to prepare!" I've got V-Bucks that I'll spend, more than you can contend. I'm a cool pro Fortnite gamer! Cool.. pro.. Fortnite? (Chorus) Take me to your Xbox to play Fortnite today! You can take me to Moisty Mire, but not Loot Lake! I really love to.. Chug Jug with you! We can be pro Fortnite gamers! (End of chorus) La, la la, la laa ee ya! X2 La, lA AUGHH La laa ee ya! (Will you be my pro Fortnite gamer?) Pro Fortnite Gamer.. Can we get a win this weekend? Take me to Loot Lake! Let's change the game mode and we can Disco Dominate! Let's hop in an ATK, take me to the zone! I'm running kind of low on mats, I need to break some stone! Dressed in all his fancy clothes, He's got Renegade Raider and he's probably a pro! He just shot my back, I turn back and I attack! I just got a Victory Royale, A Victory Royale.. (Chorus) Take me to your Xbox to play Fortnite today! You can take me to Moisty Mire, but not Loot Lake! I really love to.. Chug Jug with you! We can be pro Fortnite gamers! (End of chorus)
March 2021

Fortnite

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