twitchquotes:
Two guys are in a boat with three cigarettes. They had no fire, so they threw one of the cigarettes overboard, and the entire boat became a cigarette lighter.
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I am a manager for many twitch celebrities
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Kripp
F*ck this guy, f*ck you too
twitchquotes:
↓ ᶠᵘᶜᵏ ᵗʰᶦˢ ᵍᵘʸ↓ ↑ ᶠᵘᶜᵏ ʸᵒᵘ ᵗᵒᵒ ↑
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Reynad
French word for grape is raisin
twitchquotes:
you know whats strange about english, you guys have a word for dried grapes: raisins. but the strange thing is that in french the word grape is litteraly raisin, but we dont have a word for dried ones, we just say dried grapes but in French so raisin sec BUT THATS NOT EVEN THE THE CRAZY PART because do you know what we call a bunch of grape together? a GRAPPE so a bunch of grape in french is Grappe de raisins 
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Kripp throws his paintbrush across the room
twitchquotes:
Kripp throws his paintbrush across the room. "The canvas needed to topdeck exactly that color to win!" he yells. Dex brings Kripp his paintbrush and Kripp tries again. He tries to paint a happy tree but paints a sad cactus. "The canvas is obviously sniping. How else could it know I was painting a happy tree?" Dex barks. "Quiet, Dex!" screams Kripp as he paints the bottom right of the canvas and concedes.
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Kripp
Professional headmeat physician
twitchquotes:
Hello Tyler, this is Dhanraj Ameer, the professional headmeat physician, thank you for contacting me last week. My team and I have been looking at x-rays of your skull and we are interested in a procedure that involves taking the head meat from the sides of your head and using it to fill in the dent in the middle. The procedure is popularly known as "Running it down mid". Let me know
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Tyler1