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Two guys are in a boat with three cigarettes. They had no fire, so they threw one of the cigarettes overboard, and the entire boat became a cigarette lighter.
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More Copypastas
HEY CHAT LETS OVERUSE monkaS
twitchquotes:
HEY CHAT LETS OVERUSE HEY CHAT LETS OVERUSE HEY CHAT LETS OVERUSE
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Hey Kripp, I hope this comment reaches you in time
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Hey Kripp, I hope this comment reaches you in time (I'm on satellite internet). When will you review the cards for the upcoming "Curse of Naxxramas" expansion?
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Kripp
Hearthstone
Your team is all washed up
twitchquotes:
Rick Fox invites Shiphtur to his private island, and says to him, "I want you to play on my team." "But who will be my teammates?" Shiphtur replies. Just as he asks that, Dyrus, Scarra, Voyboy and Imaqtpie swim ashore. Rick Fox smiles as he looks towards the shore: "Your team is all washed up."
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League of Legends
Spamming MEME's makes you happy
twitchquotes:
๐ According to statistics spamming MEME's makes you happy 
๐ According to statistics spamming MEME's makes you happy
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I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday
Ok, this is ABSOLUTE fucking bullshit. I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday, and when Lightning McQueen got HOT with Sally in Radiator Springs, my boner engaged. When Lightning McQueen said "Ka-Chow!", I couldn't help it!!! I closed my eyes, and I TORE my dick to shreds, using whip like motions and pulled with great force. That was one of the best nuts I ever had, just thinking about it now gets me riled up. Thing is, I nutted all over the kid sitting right next to me, and his mom got all pissed at me, screaming at me for jacking off on her son. I told that bitch to shut the fuck up, and that jacking off is a natural, artistic, and beautiful process. You should BE HAPPY that my semen is all over your son, maybe he can learn a lesson or two about the culture and art of jacking off. HOWEVER, the movie theater managers didn't agree with me. They KICKED ME OUT of the movie theater, and I didn't even finish watching the Cars movie. Not only THAT, but they made me clean up my semen after it already dried out and solidified on the seats. THATS TORTURE!! Do you know how hard it is to clean semen after its dried out? You CLEAN semen after its FRESH out of your cock, not an hour after you fucking nutted. This is a fucking OUTRAGE. Do you really expect me to not whip out my cock and jack off when i see a HOT sex scene in a movie? Either don't ban sex scenes in movies, or LET ME jack off in your theater, assholes.