twitchquotes:
Two guys are in a boat with three cigarettes. They had no fire, so they threw one of the cigarettes overboard, and the entire boat became a cigarette lighter.
twitch chat
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Redditor Soy Wojak
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡠⠤⠤⠄⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠒⠒⠒⠤⠤⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⢀⠔⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢢⡀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⡎⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢡⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢣⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡎⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⢄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠜⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣸⠤⠤⠤⢤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠤⠒⠊⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠲⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠞⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠎⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠒⠒⠒⠒⠀⠐⠂⠤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡀⠤⠄⠀⠤⢄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⣒⣈⣁⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⣉⡉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢣⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠐⠋⠀⠀⠀⠈⢡⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠘⠉⠀⠈⠑⠦⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣤⠴⠖⠒⠶⠤⠤⠴⠶⠶⠥⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣃⡤⠤⠴⠖⠒⠒⠶⠤⠤⣴⣤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣶⣤⣀⡿⠉⠁⠈⣿⠀⣤⣤⣴⣶⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⠤⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠔⠋⠀⠀⢹⡇⠀⠀⠈⠻⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠟⡇⠀⠀⠀⢻⠀⠿⠿⠿⠛⠋⠉⠀⠀⢠⡇⡇⠀⠀⠈⠣⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⢻⣄⣀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣴⠶⠃⠀⠀⠀⠈⠧⠤⠤⠤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣸⠃⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢣⡀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠖⠚⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠲⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⣀⠞⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠒⠤⠤⢼⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠧⣠⡤⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢤⣤⠼⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⠀⣀⣤⣤⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢱⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⢹⠕⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠴⠋⣀⣾⠋⢸⡇⠙⡿⠶⡶⢦⡄⠙⠒⠤⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢈⣇⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠬⣽⢂⡥⠀⠀⢠⠞⠁⠀⣾⡏⢸⣀⣸⣇⣀⡇⠀⣧⢸⢹⣦⡀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⢄⣻⣫⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠜⣿⣨⠃⠀⠈⡇⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣾⣿⣿⡇⢰⠃⢰⠀⡉⢡⡋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢸⣇⢌⠀⡆⠈⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠘⢠⠏⠀⠳⡞⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⢿⣅⠊⢸⡀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⣸⠐⠲⢬⣿⡅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⡤⠖⠒⡟⠑⢯⠉⠉⣇⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⢀⡇⢐⣗⣟⠨⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⣠⠤⠖⠋⠉⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⢇⠀⢜⣏⠉⢹⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⢸⣀⢰⡿⠀⠀⣿⠉⠒⠦⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢢⣢⠩⣮⢸⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⢸⢤⡿⠚⡠⢂⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠳⢤⣀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠱⡱⣹⣾⠀⠀⠀⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠀⠀⢸⣞⠵⠪⡠⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠙⠲
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢎⣿⡆⢀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠈⢀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⡁⢂⠀⡀⠤⢀⢰⠀⡄⡁⡀⢄⢀⠀⡶⣾⠚⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠛⠒⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⢶⡃⣄⠆⡀⢋⢸⢰⠰⢀⠸⢀⣓⣇⣹⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢸⢻⠪⣧⣘⣼⣼⣔⣣⣈⣴⡟⡻⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I want to fuck myself!
Now before you guys assume, i am not gay. I was messing around with a selfie of myself on faceapp and decided to use the female filter. As soon as i clicked the icon, my life was changed forever. Those lusious lips, the well defined jawline, the adorable eyes and those perfect eyebrows instantly gave me a hard on. Before i knew it, i was stroking my cock faster than i had ever before. Within 2 minutss i had already cummed 5 times coating my whole bed with a layer of semen and my balls were drier than the shaharan desert. Could any of you nerds please find a way to bring my waifu to lifue. Thanks uWu.
Guys please be careful before posting
twitchquotes:
Guys please be careful before posting, I see some messages posted multiple times by mistake this is actually very annoying and cringe, read chat first to make sure your message wasn't already posted 
twitch chat
Wife attack AITA?
I (46M) was having lunch (lasagna) with my side chick (42F) on a lovely day (23°C) when all of a sudden my wife (44F) of 35 years barges in and starts attacking me (46M). Wtf (what the fuck) was she thinking I had been having sex with my side chick (42F) every other weekend it's not like I was doing this every day. She (44F) then starts attacking her (42F) and the wait staff (32M, 26M and 29M) have to intervene. Completely ruined my lunch. AITA?
Am I The Asshole?
Romanian Salt Baron
twitchquotes:
POLICE REPORT - Canadian Mounties have at last apprehended the "Romanian Salt Baron" after suspiciously salty whining was heard outside of a dingy apartment in Toronto. The Salt Baron, a morose, balding gypsy man, was at the time playing a children's card game when Mounties burst through the door. The man attempted to resist by "brofisting" the officials, but his scrawny vegan arms had no effect. The man's wife then assumed her true Succubus form and escaped into the Nether. More at 11.
twitch chat
Kripp