[Copypasta] I want JPow to use his full range of tools on me 😫

I want JPow to use his full range of tools on me 😫
December 2020

WallStreetBets

I used to be a real ad
More WallStreetBets Copypastas

We can't blame market

To be fair "but I poop from there" wasn't an explicit "no". We can't blame market for doing what it did.
March 2021

WallStreetBets

I challenge you to β€œTurtle King”

Before my ban, someone challenged me to a duel with cocks. I challenge you to β€œTurtle King” instead. We each dock our unhardened cocks into each other, then we put on clips of Yellen speaking during FOMC meetings. The first to effectively go from flaccid to erect and push the other out of the β€œdock” is crowned Turtle 🀴. Dual me, I’m 4-0.
October 2021

WallStreetBets

MSFT Infinite Money Glitch πŸš€πŸš€πŸš€

Disclaimer: I am not a financial or investment advisor. Before this subreddit was ruined by ten million people, solid DD used to get done. Do you ever find yourself reminiscing about the good β€˜ol WSB days? Well, your prayers have been answered. Degenerates gather around, as I am bringing you a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to make some serious $MSFT tendies πŸš€ Today, Bill Gates announced that after twenty-seven years of marriage, he will be divorcing. Do you know what this means? Bill is single and ready to mingle. Step 1: Use Wife’s Tinder Account Step 2: Match with Bill Gates Step 3: Wife goes on date with Bill, they fall in love, he proposes, no pre-nup Step 4: Wife marries Bill and becomes $MSFT royalty Step 5: Continue to date wife Step 6: Cash out πŸš€πŸš€πŸš€ For those too retarded to read: https://preview.redd.it/tts3psz5q0x61.jpg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5f68092ae47d414627c6dee8a0c4afd6808bcc57 Congratulations. You are now your own wife’s boyfriend.
May 2021

WallStreetBets

Classic

Stock space rocket

.γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€ ✦        γ€€ γ€€γ€€γ€€Λšγ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€*γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€ β€ˆγ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€.γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€. γ€€γ€€β€ˆγ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€ ✦ γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€ γ€€ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€ γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€,       .γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€.γ€€γ€€γ€€οΎŸγ€€β€‚β€‚γ€€γ€€γ€€.γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€. γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€,γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€.γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€β€ˆβ€ˆβ€ˆβ€ˆγ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€ γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€β€ˆβ˜€οΈ γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€β€ˆβ€ˆβ€Š γ€€β€ˆβ€ˆβ€ˆβ€ˆβ€ˆβ€Šγ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€β€ˆβ€ˆβ€Šβ€Šβ€ˆβ€ˆβ€Šβ€Šγ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€. γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€.γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€. γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€β€Šβ€Šβ€Šβ€ˆβ€ˆβ€Šβ€Šγ€€β€ˆβ€ˆβ€ˆγ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€ γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€ γ€€γ€€β€Šβ€Šβ€Šβ€ˆβ€ˆβ€Šβ€Šγ€€β€ˆβ€ˆβ€ˆγ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€β€Šβ€Šβ€Šβ€ˆβ€ˆβ€Šβ€Šγ€€β€ˆβ€ˆβ€ˆ ✦       ,γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€[stock ticker]πŸš€ γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€ γ€€γ€€,γ€€γ€€γ€€ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ γ€€ γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€.γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€β€ˆγ€€γ€€ γ€€γ€€γ€€.γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€β€ˆγ€€β€Šβ€Šβ€ˆβ€ˆ β€ˆβ€ˆβ€ˆβ€ˆβ€Šβ€Šγ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€Λšγ€€γ€€γ€€ γ€€       ,γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€ γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€β€Šβ€Šβ€Šβ€Šβ€Šβ€Šβ€Šγ€€β€Šβ€ˆβ€ˆβ€ˆγ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€.γ€€γ€€γ€€ β€ˆγ€€γ€€β€‚β€‚β€‚β€‚γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€β€ˆγ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€.γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€.γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€* γ€€γ€€         ✦ γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€β€Šβ€Šβ€Šβ€Šβ€Šβ€Šβ€Šβ€Šβ€Šγ€€β€ˆβ€ˆβ€ˆβ€ˆβ€ˆβ€ˆβ€ˆβ€ˆγ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€ γ€€γ€€β€ˆγ€€ γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€β€ˆγ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€.γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€.           . γ€€β€ˆγ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€.γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€ πŸŒ‘ γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€β€Šβ€Šβ€Šγ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€.γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€.             γ€€Λšγ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€οΎŸγ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€.γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€ . γ€€γ€€β€ˆγ€€ 🌎 ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ,γ€€ γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€* .γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€β€ˆγ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€.γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€ ✦        γ€€ γ€€γ€€γ€€Λšγ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€*γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€β€ˆ β€ˆγ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€.
January 2021

WallStreetBets

Bears after a green day

It’s 4:01pm. Bears solemnly log out of their devastated brokerage account, get up from their makeshift desk made up of a stack of empty Michelina’s frozen lasagna dinners, head up the stairs of their father’s basement, grab the keys to their tan β€˜97 Chevy Cavalier and a cloth mask embroidered with the word β€œVOTE,” and drive down the street to the local gay bar for a holiday themed burlesque show.
December 2021

WallStreetBets

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