I used to be a real ad
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Not a weeb thing

twitchquotes: โ€˜not a weeb thingโ€™. try living a day in my shoes, walking around terrified of encountering normal people everywhere i go. wherever i look, people with tv show merch, people speaking english. it makes me and millions of other weebs out there feel really attacked.
twitch chat
February 2019

Weebs

YOU TOOK MY FORTNITE CARD

YOUโ€™RE ๐ŸŒฅ๏ธ SO SUSSY ๐Ÿ˜“๐Ÿ˜“๐Ÿ™Š๐Ÿ˜จ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐ŸŽต I ๐Ÿ˜€ KNOW ๐Ÿ’ญ YOU ๐Ÿ‘ˆ TOOK ๐Ÿ‘ซ MY ๐Ÿ˜ FORTNITE ๐ŸŽฎ CARD ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ I ๐Ÿพ KNOW ๐Ÿค” YOU ๐Ÿค– TOOK ๐Ÿคฏ MY ๐Ÿ˜˜ 19 โ— DOLLAR ๐Ÿ’ฒ FORTNITE ๐Ÿ’ฉ CARD ๐Ÿ’ณ GIVE ๐Ÿšช๐ŸŒŒ๐Ÿธ ME ๐Ÿ‘ˆ MY ๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿ˜ฃ 19 โ— DOLLAR ๐Ÿ’ฐ FORTNITE ๐Ÿ’ฉ CARD ๐Ÿ’ณ๐Ÿ˜‘ YOU ๐Ÿ‘ˆ๐Ÿ˜ญ BETTER ๐ŸŽฐ GIVE ๐Ÿ‘น ME ๐Ÿ‘ฉ๐Ÿ’ก MY ๐Ÿฅณ 19 โ— DOLLAR ๐Ÿ’ธ FORTNITE ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐ŸŽฎ CARD ๐Ÿ—ƒ I ๐Ÿ‘น NEED ๐Ÿ“ฒ MY ๐Ÿ”‘ 19 โ™ˆ DOLLAR ๐Ÿ’ต FORTNITE ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐ŸŽฎ CARD, ๐Ÿ’ณ NOW! ๐Ÿ“…
May 2021

Fortnite

Waiting for adblock to be disabled

POWERING UP PORTAL ONLINE

twitchquotes: <(-O-)> POWERING UP <(-O-)> PORTAL ONLINE
twitch chat
February 2015
Forsen

POLICE VOLIBEAR

twitchquotes: HotPokket HELLO RIOT? โ˜Ž๏ธ HotPokket MAE HERE โ˜Ž๏ธ POLICE VOLIBEAR SELECTED โ˜Ž๏ธ HotPokket IM TRIGGERED โ˜Ž๏ธ HotPokket
twitch chat
July 2020

League of Legends

LEGO Yoda CBT lyrics

[Verse 1] Crush my cock with a rock I must. Maximum pain I must endure. Ok, here we go. [Chorus] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
January 2021
I used to be a real ad

Greetings r/atheism

Greetings, my fellow intellectually superior comrades. I too am an enjoyer of the fedora as well as intellectual matters and enlightenment. I am very pleased to find a space like this where intellects like me can laugh at normie th*ests and jerk off to rule 34 Rick and Morty images like the true sigma Chads we are. Truly a shame that normie sites like Instascam and Crapchat do not possess the intellectual capacity of people like us. That reminds me of a story involving one of my proudest accomplishments. I remember the reason why I got fired from my old job as a scrub, and it is truly a brave, bold, and intellectual moment that I am sure you all will be proud of. So I was doing my rounds at the hospital I was working at and someone's newborn baby has just died form birth complications. Everyone was crying and the mother's parents had assured her that the baby was "in Heaven" and "with God". (cringe, right?) Well I heard this utter nonsense through the hallway and I figured that it was my duty to put these ignoramus th* ists in their place. So I walked into the room and said straight to their faces "but God isn't real and neither is Heaven you normie th* ists. Heaven is a fairy tale made up by a book written 1,000 years ago in a desert by wannabe fantasy writers. Your sky daddy isn't real, and your baby isn't in Heaven because Heaven isn't real either. It's just all black for him like it was before he was convinced in your room. Go read 'the God delusion' by Richard Dawkins, maybe you'll grow a few brain cells." Everyone was shocked, the lady started crying and her parents and husband started yelling at me. The others were just speechless, their months agape. But I wasn't phased, it only made me proud becuase I know that when the th*ists are seething, I am right. So eventually someone must have reported me becuase a day after I got fired for "unprofessionalism and harassment". Ha! More like the simpleton folks cannot understand the intelligence of freethinkers like me, and get mad at those who tell the truth and reality check their delusion of their skydaddy. I didn't care tho. Geniuses are rarely recognized as such in their time. One day they'll look back in history and see that what I did there as well as all the other things I did were revolutionary! I can find a job with more intellectual employers anyway. I was proud to be fired for speaking the truth! Either way, I'm happy to be here, and I'm happy to destroy some skydaddy cock sucking th*ests. Also an updoot on this post would very much be appreciated and wholesome. Edit: I said UPDOOT, not DOWNDOOT! God, are you just as dumb as the th*ists now???
May 2022

Reddit

I Am Very Smart

as an extreme bee enthusiast, this is anatomically incorrect

as an extreme bee enthusiast, this is anatomically incorrect. I shall take a moment to teach the people about bee excrement. Firstly, to the woe of those into both pee and bee, bees do not pee. Insects entirely lack kidneys, bladders, livers, and more. Now, to the question regarding the post, do bees fart, and if they do, is it an extremely dirty fart at that? Well, lets first discuss bee poop. bees mostly use everything when making honey, which is basically pure energy and nutrients. Bee poop is mostly undigested pollen grains and more complex sugars. A bee could poop in your ice cream, and you would be none the wiser. you might even like, it better, for reasons ranging from "culinary" to sexual. Bees are surprisingly clean creatures, and despite bee poop basically being failed candy, bees always leave the hive to poop, they do not poop inside the hive. As for the farting part, it is without a doubt that any animal could potentially have air trapped inside it, and therefore must expel it, however farting as we know it is much more than that. Regardless, a bee would not "fart", and if they did, it would be more akin to a floral perfume than a burst of sulfur and feces. also the head and legs look a bit weird, 4/10
May 2022

Kripp Jr

twitchquotes: The year is 2020 Kripp is playing Hearthstone with his son Kripp Jr. "Looks like you lose Daddy hehe, but I still love you!", he says topdeckingly... "Oh my *** god dude thats *** unreal, how can I lose to people this bad", Kripp spits coldly with hate in his eyes. Kripp Jr. begins to cry....
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

THATS A YEP MOMENT

twitchquotes: THATS A "YEP" MOMENT LUL ๐Ÿ’ฆ THATS A "YEP" MOMENT LUL ๐Ÿ’ฆ THATS A "YEP" MOMENT LUL ๐Ÿ’ฆ THATS A "YEP" MOMENT LUL ๐Ÿ’ฆ THATS A "YEP" MOMENT LUL ๐Ÿ’ฆ THATS A "YEP" MOMENT LUL ๐Ÿ’ฆ THATS A "YEP" MOMENT LUL ๐Ÿ’ฆ THATS A "YEP" MOMENT LUL ๐Ÿ’ฆ
twitch chat
June 2020

I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday

Ok, this is ABSOLUTE fucking bullshit. I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday, and when Lightning McQueen got HOT with Sally in Radiator Springs, my boner engaged. When Lightning McQueen said "Ka-Chow!", I couldn't help it!!! I closed my eyes, and I TORE my dick to shreds, using whip like motions and pulled with great force. That was one of the best nuts I ever had, just thinking about it now gets me riled up. Thing is, I nutted all over the kid sitting right next to me, and his mom got all pissed at me, screaming at me for jacking off on her son. I told that bitch to shut the fuck up, and that jacking off is a natural, artistic, and beautiful process. You should BE HAPPY that my semen is all over your son, maybe he can learn a lesson or two about the culture and art of jacking off. HOWEVER, the movie theater managers didn't agree with me. They KICKED ME OUT of the movie theater, and I didn't even finish watching the Cars movie. Not only THAT, but they made me clean up my semen after it already dried out and solidified on the seats. THATS TORTURE!! Do you know how hard it is to clean semen after its dried out? You CLEAN semen after its FRESH out of your cock, not an hour after you fucking nutted. This is a fucking OUTRAGE. Do you really expect me to not whip out my cock and jack off when i see a HOT sex scene in a movie? Either don't ban sex scenes in movies, or LET ME jack off in your theater, assholes.
December 2020
What happened to this ad? :(

InvaderVie sub shaming

twitchquotes: It doesn't really matter how much money you make, or how much money you have ๐Ÿ˜„ That's really the thing because I'm not asking you large financial contribution! 20$ is quite alot of money. A sub is 5 dollars! It doesn't matter how broke you are ๐Ÿ˜„ If you have time to watch Twitch, you have 10$, if you don't, you should be working and earning money. Or you're saying you're so irresponsable with your money you won't support the entertainment you enjoy?! ๐Ÿ˜†
twitch chat
April 2020

hey guys, ninja sub here, I am hardstuck gold

twitchquotes: hey guys, ninja sub here, I am hardstuck gold and i loveeee fortnite! all the cool kids at my school play it, and i subbed to ninja because he told me to, and he has lots of viewers haHAA
twitch chat
July 2018
Ninja

Absolutely appalled at it, 12 mins or so of pure shit

December 2020

Belle Delphine

There was a bug in the toilet

twitchquotes: WHEN I SAT DOWN โฌ‡๏ธ TO PEE ๐Ÿง˜โ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ’ฆ THERE WAS A BUG ๐Ÿž IN THE TOILET ๐Ÿšฝ BUT I THOUGHT ๐Ÿ’ญ IT WAS DROWNED ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ‘ป โ“โ”โ“โ” N WHEN I GOT UP โฌ†๏ธ โ€ผ๏ธIT WASN'T โŒ THERE ๐Ÿ‘‰ IM SOBBING ๐Ÿ˜ญ IS IT IN MY FUCKING ๐Ÿ† BUTTHOLE ๐Ÿ‘โญ• WHERE IS ITโ‰๏ธโ‰๏ธโ‰๏ธ
twitch chat
July 2020

Do NOT meet Robert Downey Jr. in real life!

I met him in real life and told him how much of a fan I was. He kept on saying rude things to me such as "Who are you", "How did you get in my house" and "I'm calling the police." Celebrities, PLEASE respect your fans!
June 2021
What happened to this ad? :(

Losing to NA in viewership

twitchquotes: FeelsBadMan Losing to NA in viewership FeelsBadMan Losing to NA in content creation FeelsBadMan Losing to NA in personality FeelsBadMan NA lul i guess....
twitch chat
August 2018

EU vs NA

Response to Navy Seal Copypasta

Did you just think that you could fucking fool me with that comment of yours? I've searched your name up in the Navy SEAL database and you have never even graduated BUD/S, hell, even served in the Armed Forces. If you were actually a Navy SEAL, then you actually know how to spell guerrilla, you fucking moron. And you say you are the top sniper in the entire US Armed Forces and have over 300 confirmed kills. If that were true, then why the fuck is Chris Kyle a household name and you aren't? And plus he only had 160 kills. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. Plus why the fuck would you say you have a secret network of spies yet you just revealed that you had your secret network of spies? Are you a fucking idiot? If you can kill someone seven-hundred different ways, then list them all, I bet you can't even come up with seven. And if you had access to the entire US Marine Corps arsenal, then why the fuck did you just say you were in the Navy SEALs earlier? If only you could have done your research prior to posting your little โ€œcleverโ€ comment, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldnโ€™t, you goddamn idiot.
March 2021

Navy Seal

Will you be my Quaran-TINE?

twitchquotes: Dear Streamer, please forgive my fever and the coughing of my lungs. Ever since I first entered stream I fell for the way you entertained and captivated the chat. I adored the way you practiced social distancing, responsibly purchased toilet paper, and wore a mask at all times. It is so contagious! Everything that I have witnessed has made my body ache for your pathogens. As your simping loyal petri dish, will you be my Quaran-TINE?
twitch chat
March 2020

Simps

Coronavirus

COVID

Please mod me I'm your mother

twitchquotes: Hey [insert streamer name] it's me. Your actual fucking MOTHER. I basically modded you throughout childhood so you might as well give me mod now. if you don't mod me you're basically calling yourself a failure as a human being. Make me proud of you.
twitch chat
March 2020
What happened to this ad? :(

Itโ€™s Morbin time! FAQ (Reddit)

Itโ€™s Morbin time! # FAQ ## What does this mean? Itโ€™s time for Morbin. ## Why did I do this? There are several reasons I may deem you morbin-able to be worthy of being morbed. These include, but are not limited to: I am very Morby I see you being morbin-able You morbed me first ## Is Morbius THE movie of all time? Yes ## I don't believe I deserved to be morbed upon. Can you un-morb me? Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I put morb-juice back into my morbenis. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot me some thick morb-milk explaining what I got wrong. I tend to respond to fucking requests/comments within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of people gets morbed, and you are is likely no exception. ## How can I prevent this from happening in the future? Accept the reality that I stick my Morbenis into your morbussy and move on. But learn from this mistake. You were a mistake because I forgot to wear a morbondom whilst fucking your morb-hole. I will continue to morb your morbussy until you improve your conduct. Remember: morbing you who morbed me first is a right, not a privilege.
June 2022
Text-to-Speech Playing