[Copypasta] I saw 1.9293948382% of a girl's shoulders today

I saw 1.9293948382% of a girl's shoulders today. I immediately fell to my knees, as the rush of dopamine caused my the impending earth-shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen everyone in the immediate vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever have or ever will produce, shot out so hard that my dick was ripped apart by my รผbernut accelerating to 5% the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. It vaporized the girl as it punched right through her, barely slowed, before cutting through a structural support beam in the school as if it were a nuclear-powered angle grinder. The sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path, caused the school to collapse, and every female in the state of New Jersey to fall pregnant with my children. When the final death toll was tallied, there were 146 deaths, 458 injuries, and over 4 million pregnancies. As I lay dying under the rubble of my high school, I rest easy, knowing every one of my sons will repeat my glorious actions.
August 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Kripp's streaming checklist

twitchquotes: *stretch* โ˜‘ "mmmm kay" โ˜‘ "yeah alright" โ˜‘ "fuckin A" โ˜‘ "if he drew anything else I would've won" โ˜‘ "how's this guy SO LUCKY?" โ˜‘ "TOPDECK FLAMESTRIKE, YEAP" โ˜‘ "topdeck into topdeck into topdeck, yeah that's how you get 12 wins guys" โ˜‘
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Having a son might be more cucked than a daughter

Atleast by having a daughter you can guarantee your bloodline. Plus its a fact that daughters are more biologically inclined to love and respect their fathers. Those whores you see on the internet all suffer from daddy issues aka absent father. A daughter with a present father usually turns out ok. I say its more cucked because biologically mothers are closest to their sons. Now imagine this. You and your wife are older and she thinks you can't satisfy her anymore, then she views pretty much a younger healthier version of you in their son. Now imagine being cucked by your own son, that shit has to be insanely brutal. Atleast wiith your daughter you can get some action, but with your son you cant plus you risk being cucked. Daughters in their younger years always prefer being around their dads. Which is why i say daughter>son. Plus daughters are usually more agreeable with their fathers unlike sons who want to bash heads to show who is the alpha in the household.
June 2021

NSFW

Roe v. Wade Emoji Pasta

HEY ๐Ÿ‘‹๐Ÿ˜ฉ there comrade ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ชcummy! the ๐Ÿ‘น supreme ๐Ÿ† cock๐Ÿ› has ๐Ÿ—ณvoted to strike ๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€โš–๏ธโŒ›๏ธdown the ๐ŸŒˆ sexy ๐Ÿคง๐Ÿคฐ๐Ÿปroe v. wade decision ๐Ÿ˜according ๐Ÿคค๐Ÿฆถ๐Ÿปto a opinion ๐Ÿ–Šwrittenโœ๏ธ๐Ÿ’ธ by daddy ๐Ÿ’…๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™ˆ sammy ๐Ÿ‘ถ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™…๐Ÿปโ€โ™‚๏ธ aLITo. ๐Ÿท๐Ÿ’จ the opinion is a ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐ŸŒ FULL THROATED ๐Ÿ“ฒโค๏ธโ€๐Ÿ”ฅGIRTHY ๐Ÿ† contraDICKtion ๐Ÿšซ๐Ÿ‘ of the 1973 ๐Ÿ‘ฟ๐Ÿ‘Ždecision that ๐Ÿ’๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ‘Œ guaranteed federal ๐Ÿ˜ค cocks-titutuinal ๐Ÿ˜ณ protection ๐Ÿ‘…๐Ÿ’„of abortion rights!!! โค๏ธโ€๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿซกeveryone who ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿ’ฆ woke remember ๐Ÿ™‹โœŠ๐Ÿป๐Ÿค” to fund ๐Ÿ’ธ๐Ÿฅต planned parenthood and ๐ŸŒช๐Ÿ‘ผ donate to ๐Ÿง‘๐Ÿผโ€๐Ÿผ๐Ÿค‘abortion funds! get yo ๐Ÿ“ธuturuses ๐Ÿ’‹๐Ÿ‘ turnt you ๐Ÿ’ƒwhore! ๐ŸŒญevery whore knows ๐Ÿง ๐Ÿผthat everyone ๐Ÿ”œshould have ๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€โš•๏ธ๐Ÿฅaccess to safe ๐Ÿ™ ๐ŸŒŽabortions โค๏ธ๐Ÿ˜˜ if they choose ๐Ÿ’…๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘€ to have one. ๐Ÿ‘‘๐Ÿ‘นsend to ten ๐Ÿ˜ฌ๐Ÿ™of your closest ๐Ÿšฑ๐Ÿ…พ๏ธWHORES to secure abortion ๐Ÿ“ซ๐Ÿคrights in ameriCUM ๐Ÿคค๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธif you get five โœ‹ back abortion ๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ’‹rights will be codified ๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€โš–๏ธ๐Ÿคคin law ๐Ÿ“ธ๐Ÿ‘ 
May 2022

Emoji Pasta

Politics

Imaqtpizzapie and Imaqtlasagne

twitchquotes: Hello Michael, this is you Italian cousin Imaqtpizzapie. I just wrote to inform you of the birth of your new godson Imaqtlasagne. That's correct you are the godfather. Pls no copy pasterino mafiarino donerino
twitch chat
April 2014
imaqtpie

What if we all spam the same thing?

twitchquotes: ๐Ÿค” what ๐Ÿค” if ๐Ÿค” we ๐Ÿค” all ๐Ÿค” spam ๐Ÿค” the ๐Ÿค” same ๐Ÿค” thing? ๐Ÿค”
twitch chat
May 2017
Text-to-Speech Playing