[Copypasta] I saw 1.9293948382% of a girl's shoulders today

I saw 1.9293948382% of a girl's shoulders today. I immediately fell to my knees, as the rush of dopamine caused my the impending earth-shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen everyone in the immediate vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever have or ever will produce, shot out so hard that my dick was ripped apart by my übernut accelerating to 5% the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. It vaporized the girl as it punched right through her, barely slowed, before cutting through a structural support beam in the school as if it were a nuclear-powered angle grinder. The sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path, caused the school to collapse, and every female in the state of New Jersey to fall pregnant with my children. When the final death toll was tallied, there were 146 deaths, 458 injuries, and over 4 million pregnancies. As I lay dying under the rubble of my high school, I rest easy, knowing every one of my sons will repeat my glorious actions.
August 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
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Unicorn

⢠⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⢦⡀⠀⢰⢆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠙⣎⠙⠲⢤⣀⠀⠀⠀⡌⠈⣗⣄⡌⠘⣷⣀⣠⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠈⢦⡀⠀⠈⠙⠲⢄⣣⡖⣯⡷⣧⠀⢸⢿⣦⡀⠈⠳⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠳⡄⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣼⣯⣄⣿⣦⣸⢸⣏⠻⣤⣀⣈⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠳⢤⠤⠴⠻⣯⠈⠋⠙⠃⠀⠈⣿⠻⣾⡿⠛⠁⠉⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡰⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣄⠀⠀⠀⠈⠷⣤⡛⠛⢿⣿⡟⢹⡄⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡜⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⠿⠿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⡙⢹⡏⠿⣆⣹⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⡞⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠾⢷⡞⠁⣀⠙⢿⠂⠀ ⠀⠀⢀⢾⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢷⡀⣿⠀⢸⡄⠀ ⠀⠀⡞⠘⢧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⡾⣷⣾⠇⠀ ⠀⢸⠈⠿⠀⠙⠲⣄⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⠇⢀⣼⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠳⣄⠀⠀⠀⣘⠷⠊⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢴⣶⠿⠖⠛⣿⡄⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣄⠀⢀⣠⠖⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
September 2021

ME TREE ME SPAM

twitchquotes: 🎄 ME TREE 🎄 ME SPAM 🎄 NO OXYGEN 🎄 IF BAN 🎄
twitch chat
December 2016

MODS

MoonMoon subs in all my streams spamming emotes

twitchquotes: Fucking MoonMoon subs in all my streams spamming these stupid fucking emotes. I swear they're all 12 year old kids who subbed to this goofy ass mother fucker (who's not even good at the game, just a decent tank player who gets carried) with their mom's credit cards they stole. If I see one more goddamn purple face I think I'm going to scream. My AGDQ chat experience has been ruined time and time again by these spammers and frankly, I'm getting tired of it.
twitch chat
August 2017
MOONMOON

One ring to rule them all

twitchquotes: It began with the forging of the great rings. 3 for the ARPG gamers, immortals, for they cannot afford to die. 7 for the Strategy gamers, builders, who command entire armies. 9 for the MMO players, who spent days logged in without breaks, and who above all else desire loot. For within these rings was the strength and power to remain nolife. But they were all deceived. For another ring was made. In the land of Romania, in gypsy flames, the dark lord Kripp forged a secret ring, and into this ring he poured his trips, his want for a female, his family, but above all else, his desire to be casual. One ring to rule them all.
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Should We Ban Jerma From Our Gay Wedding?

Should We Ban Jerma From Our Gay Wedding? Okay, so my boyfriend and I have been talking and we're looking to get married in the next year or so once it's safe. We've been talking seriously about this and we absolutely want to ensure that TOTAL PSYCHOPATH Jerma ABSOLUTELY does NOT come to our wedding. I was thinking maybe putting up “beware of sus guy” photos around the venue? Maybe watching his tier list videos and picking his least favorite snacks? How can we best do this, do you think? SHOULD we do this? Many thanks. (Oh, and P.S., if there’s a way we could invite Otto without his COMPLETELY UNHINGED RAT FILMOGRAPHER OWNER joining, that would be optimal :) )
December 2021
Jerma985
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