[Copypasta] I saw 1.9293948382% of a girl's shoulders today

I saw 1.9293948382% of a girl's shoulders today. I immediately fell to my knees, as the rush of dopamine caused my the impending earth-shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen everyone in the immediate vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever have or ever will produce, shot out so hard that my dick was ripped apart by my übernut accelerating to 5% the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. It vaporized the girl as it punched right through her, barely slowed, before cutting through a structural support beam in the school as if it were a nuclear-powered angle grinder. The sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path, caused the school to collapse, and every female in the state of New Jersey to fall pregnant with my children. When the final death toll was tallied, there were 146 deaths, 458 injuries, and over 4 million pregnancies. As I lay dying under the rubble of my high school, I rest easy, knowing every one of my sons will repeat my glorious actions.
August 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Nani the fuck did you just fucking iimasu about watashi

Nani the fuck did you just fucking iimasu about watashi, you chiisai bitch desuka? Watashi’ll have anata know that watashi graduated top of my class in Nihongo 3, and watashi’ve been involved in iroirona Nihongo tutoring sessions, and watashi have over sanbyaku perfect test scores. Watashi am trained in kanji, and watashi is the top letter writer in all of southern California. Anata are nothing to watashi but just another weaboo. Watashi will korosu anata the fuck out with vocabulary the likes of which has never been mimasu’d before on this continent, mark watashino fucking words. Anata thinks anata can get away with hanashimasing that kuso to watashi over the intaaneto? Omou again, fucker. As we hanashimasu, watashi am contacting watashino secret netto of otakus across the USA, and anatano IP is being traced right now so you better junbishimasu for the ame, ujimushi. The ame that korosu’s the pathetic chiisai thing anata calls anatano life. You’re fucking shinimashita’d, akachan.
June 2021

Weebs

Forsen's face

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠉⠉⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⢿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠛⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢘⣿ ⣿⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⢀⠄⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿ ⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣤⣤⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⠄⠄⢺⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠄⢸⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⢸⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠛⠻⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠄⠉⠉⣻⣾⣿ ⡆⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⡟⢀⠔⠒⡀⠄⣸⣿⣷⡄⡈⢉⠁⣠⣿⣹⣿ ⣿⣀⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⡒⢚⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣟⢉⡵⣆⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣼⣦⣿⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠩⠁⡄⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠝⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢁⣀⡀⠄⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢋⣀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣼⣿⣿⢻⣿ ⡿⠿⠛⠛⣷⠈⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣿⣿⣏⡀⢀⣹⣿⠙⠟⠄⣼⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣧⡀⠄⠈⠉⠛⠻⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⡟⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣷⣆⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣴⡇⠄⠄⠄⠈
April 2022
Forsen

I donated $3

twitchquotes: Yo wtf. I donated $3 (my daily allowance from my parents) to play Lil Pump - ESSKEETIT (fav song) and he isn't playing it. Hello? Why is this chat allowing this streamer to get away with this? Why are you idiots just spamming your 'memes' instead of trying to get my song played? Fuck this. This is the last time I donate. I hope you spend your $3 wisely, jerk.
twitch chat
September 2018

C9 is losing the team fight on the point uncontested

twitchquotes: LEARN PLAT CHAT! C9 is losing the team fight on the point uncontested during overtime But alot of players now say C9 when they WIN a point and losing the fight when the time runs out.
twitch chat
May 2018
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

I was watching you play Prismata yesterday and fell asleep

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp. I was watching you play Prismata yesterday and fell asleep. In my dream I was playing prismata and fell asleep. The same thing happened in my dream's dream. It was the worst nightmare ever and I woke up in a cold sweat. Please don't play prismata anymore I don't want to go through that again. Pls no copy pastrami.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing