[Copypasta] I saw 1.9293948382% of a girl's shoulders today

I saw 1.9293948382% of a girl's shoulders today. I immediately fell to my knees, as the rush of dopamine caused my the impending earth-shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen everyone in the immediate vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever have or ever will produce, shot out so hard that my dick was ripped apart by my übernut accelerating to 5% the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. It vaporized the girl as it punched right through her, barely slowed, before cutting through a structural support beam in the school as if it were a nuclear-powered angle grinder. The sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path, caused the school to collapse, and every female in the state of New Jersey to fall pregnant with my children. When the final death toll was tallied, there were 146 deaths, 458 injuries, and over 4 million pregnancies. As I lay dying under the rubble of my high school, I rest easy, knowing every one of my sons will repeat my glorious actions.
August 2021
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All hail Wildturtle!

twitchquotes: OMG Its The Real Wildturtle! The best player in the whole NA Server! We are so blessed to be graced with this stream. All Hail Wildturtle!!! Please copy and paste this to show the great Wildturtle our love!
twitch chat
November 2014
WildTurtle

Big Chungus with dick

February 2021

NSFW

Summon The Hydra

I will tell Michael to ban you all

twitchquotes: Hello twitch chat. This is michaels mother speaking. Please stop the spam in the chat. I can't read the amazing conversations that you are having about my son. Thanks. Don't copy and paste this to spam more or I will tell Michael to ban you all.
twitch chat
December 2014
imaqtpie

Jhin

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡠⢒⣩⣥⠡⠀⠀⠀⠀⠌⣬⣍⡒⢄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡴⠫⣶⣿⣿⣿⣧⡑⢄⡠⢊⣼⣿⣿⣿⣦⠝⢆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⡅⣿⣦⡙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣴⣿⣿⣿⡿⢋⣴⣿⢨⢣⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⣼⡇⣿⣿⣿⣦⡹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢋⣴⣿⣿⣿⢸⣧⢣⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⠗⠛⠻⠿⣿⣷⡘⡿⠟⠻⢿⢃⣾⣿⠿⠟⠛⠺⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⠟⠀⣀⢀⣄⣀⠈⠙⡗⣰⠿⠿⣆⢺⠋⠁⣀⣤⡀⣀⠈⠻⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⢦⣍⡛⠶⣤⠤⠜⣀⣤⠀⣶⣶⠀⣤⣐⠣⢤⣤⠶⢛⣩⡶⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢧⡙⢿⣷⡆⣶⣿⡿⢋⢸⣿⣿⡆⡙⢿⣿⣶⢰⣾⡿⢋⡼⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢙⠦⣍⠰⣿⡟⣡⣿⢸⣿⣿⡇⣿⡌⢻⣿⠆⣩⠶⡋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⢌⢷⢈⢳⣌⠁⣤⡌⢸⣿⣿⡇⢡⣤⠈⣡⡞⡁⡾⡡⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡎⣧⡹⢰⣿⣷⣈⠛⠛⣡⣾⣿⡆⢏⣼⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⣿⣇⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣸⣿⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠃⣿⣿⣄⠙⢉⣩⣉⣉⣍⡉⠋⣨⣿⣿⠘⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⣄⠻⣿⣿⣷⡆⢀⣀⣀⡀⢰⣾⣿⣿⠟⣠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠳⣌⠻⢋⡤⠉⠉⠉⠁⣤⡙⠟⣡⠞⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
July 2021

League of Legends

I saw JPOW at the grocery store

I saw JPOW at the grocery store. I was buying a dozen eggs last night and the store was kind of slow since it was after dark. Some old boomer was in front of me and chatting away with the woman at the cash register. Everyone had masks on, but as soon as he spoke I recognized the voice. He was telling the lady how inflation is a good thing. She said how come inflation keeps going up but minimum wage never rises? He ignored her and pulls out a large sheet of $1 bills. He asks if she had scissors but she said no. He looked back at me and saw the eggs and said "You workout huh? Its good to stay healthy. I used to workout by lifting bales of hay after school in 1952. Eggs are a good source of energy, mind if I take one? " I shrugged and told him.go ahead. He opened my pack of eggs, takes one out, lowers his mask, just throws the whole thing in his mouth shell and all, puts his mask back up, and begins chewing loudly. As he's chewing he's crookedly folding and ripping a sheet of dollar bills handing them to the lady individually. While he's chewing he tells me it's a great time to buy bonds. I tell him I'm good. The store was short on change so he just pays the full dollar amount. He hands me a crooked bill that is almost ripped in half and says "thanks pal, in the future that single egg will be worth a dollar so we will call it even" Im heading to my car after and I see him and another boomer arguing. There was JPOW and he's arguing with a man built like a gnome wearing a poorly fit collared shirt. The little man spoke and I instantly knew it was Cramer. Cramer wanted JPOW to hurry up and stop hogging the best parking spot. JPOW tells Cramer that hes got his mask on inside out and upside down. They both start talking about inflation and then look deep into each other's eyes and start making out with their masks on. It was a pretty weird.
February 2021

WallStreetBets

Classic

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