[Copypasta] I saw 1.9293948382% of a girl's shoulders today

I saw 1.9293948382% of a girl's shoulders today. I immediately fell to my knees, as the rush of dopamine caused my the impending earth-shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen everyone in the immediate vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever have or ever will produce, shot out so hard that my dick was ripped apart by my übernut accelerating to 5% the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. It vaporized the girl as it punched right through her, barely slowed, before cutting through a structural support beam in the school as if it were a nuclear-powered angle grinder. The sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path, caused the school to collapse, and every female in the state of New Jersey to fall pregnant with my children. When the final death toll was tallied, there were 146 deaths, 458 injuries, and over 4 million pregnancies. As I lay dying under the rubble of my high school, I rest easy, knowing every one of my sons will repeat my glorious actions.
August 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

You can't stop what's coming leafboy

You can't stop what's coming leafboy. I walk all over leaves every autumn, you think this year will be any different? Your flag is a fucking leaf. You chose the one part of the tree that dies every year. Not only that, but it's one of hundreds of leaves, thousands if it's a big tree. All dead come winter. Every winter. A vicious cycle. Totally insignificant. As soon as the tree has had it's way with you you are cast to the Earth to be trod by all other living things. Ants? They not only stomp about you, they will steal your corpse and use it for their people. Birds steal your lifeless shell with impunity. Leaves not only die once, but every year. A brave man dies only once, but leaves die a thousand deaths, or at least 20 or 30 if the tree lives that long. Perhaps more. Every year, leafs crunch beneath my boot. This year shall be no different. So it shall be written. So it shall be done. The day of the rake is at hand because every day is the day of the rake and has always been.
January 2021

I remember a time when copypasta was biting satire

twitchquotes: I remember a time when copypasta was biting satire and prophetic indictments of contemporary Twitch chat. Copypasta when I was a younger teenager had the potency to topple Nazi moderatorships and revolutionize new chat epochs. Even the truncation of "copypasta" to "pasta" shows a lack of eloquence that speaks volumes. If, like me, you are a product of those better times and wish to see them return then speak out. Let the memers and Toucans know that real copypasta back.
twitch chat
July 2015

MODS

Classic

Hey Sing_sing why did you say you can't kick allies when Envy kicked you from Cloud9

twitchquotes: HEY SING_SING WHY DID YOU SAY YOU CANT KICK ALLIES WHEN ENVY KICKED YOU FROM CLOUD9
twitch chat
May 2015
SingSing

PauseChamp

⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠛⠛⠛⠉⠉⠙⠛⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠟⠂⠀ ⣿⣿⣯⣤⣤⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⠀⣀⣀⡀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠟⠛⠛⠿⠟⠉⠉⠉⢻⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⢉⣼⣿⣿⣿⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣭⣤⣴⣶⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⣩⣤⣤⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠛⠛⠛⠛⢋⣩⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠛⠛⠃⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣤⣤⣄⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃ ⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣭⣁⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⣿⣿⠏⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣤⣈⡻⠋⠁⠀⠀ ⣰⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠩⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠉⠉⠉⣿⣿⡶⠶⠶⢶⠿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⣻⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠛⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⠈⠛⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡴⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠄⠙⠛⠿⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠞⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
September 2020

OkaygeBusiness

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⢉⡡⠔⠒⠒⠈⢽⣿⢋⠔⠋⠁⠈⠉⠙⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⠀⠀⢀⠊⠀⢠⣶⣄⠀⠀⠙⠇⠀⢸⣿⠦⡀⠀⠈⠻ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠂⠀⠀⣾⠏⢻⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣤⠇⠀⠀⢀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡶⡀⠀⠿⠶⠋⠀⠀⠀⢀⡦⣀⣀⣀⣀⣤⣶⣮ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠉⠀⠀⢀⡀⠀⢀⣀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡄⠀⢻⡘⠦⣀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡴⠛⢷⣌⣉⣉⣩⠽⠛⠙ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⢰⠃⠀⣀⠀⠈⠳⣀⠀⠀⠙⠲⠤⣭⡷⠶⠶⠞⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⠉⠀⠀⠀⣠ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⡄⠀⠘⢦⣀⠀⠈⠓⠲⠤⢄⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⡠⠤⠒⠋⢹⣟ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠳⣄⠀⠀⠈⠳⢦⣄⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⢉⣉⣁⣀⠠⠤⠤⣾⣿⣾ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠓⠤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠙⠙⠛⠛⠋⠉⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⣀⣠⣤⢾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠙⠒⠲⠶⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠴⠖⠒⢚⣉⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡶⠀⠀⠀⠀⢳⡦⠄⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠰⠶⠚⠋⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠶⢤⣤⣀⣀⣠⣿⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⢂⠀⠀⠀⡔⠀⠀⢢⡀⠀⢠⠃⠀⠀⠀⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠛⢋⣹⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⠿⠶⢦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⣩⡟⠁⠀⠀⢧⡀⠀⢱⣤⣤⠃⠀⡶⠁⢀⣠⠶⠛⠉⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠀⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡉⢹⡇⢸⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢧⢀⡎⠀⠈⣤⡜⠀⠀⠉⢻⡦⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠉⠉⢹⠀⡟⠙⢿⣄⠀⣦⣀⣠⠔⠋⠙⣇⣸⠛⠛⠛⣻⣶⡄⠀⠈⠛⢦⣄⠀⠀⠘⣿⠁⠀⣠⠏⠀⠀⢀⠴⠋⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠤⠤⠬⠿⠥⠤⠤⠬⠭⠭⠭⠤⠤⠤⠤⠭⠥⠤⢤⣾⠟⠈⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠳⣄⠀⠸⣦⡴⠃⠀⣠⠶⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⡿⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢳⣄⢻⣇⣤⠞⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣾⡏⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠤⠤⠤⠜⠀⡄⠀⢠⡠⠤⠤⠤⠤⠄⠀⢤⡇⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
October 2021

Pepe

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