[Copypasta] I saw 1.9293948382% of a girl's shoulders today

I saw 1.9293948382% of a girl's shoulders today. I immediately fell to my knees, as the rush of dopamine caused my the impending earth-shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen everyone in the immediate vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever have or ever will produce, shot out so hard that my dick was ripped apart by my übernut accelerating to 5% the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. It vaporized the girl as it punched right through her, barely slowed, before cutting through a structural support beam in the school as if it were a nuclear-powered angle grinder. The sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path, caused the school to collapse, and every female in the state of New Jersey to fall pregnant with my children. When the final death toll was tallied, there were 146 deaths, 458 injuries, and over 4 million pregnancies. As I lay dying under the rubble of my high school, I rest easy, knowing every one of my sons will repeat my glorious actions.
August 2021
I used to be a real ad
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I hope Yuumi wins

twitchquotes: I hope Yuumi wins. I am a Yuumi main. I love cats, and my parents tell me I'm a parasite, so we have a lot in common. Yuumi might not be able to flash, but it lights up my life and heart. Go Yuumi!!!!!!
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After a good game in csgo, i added him

twitchquotes: After a good game in csgo, i added him because he seemed like a cool guy. We got chatting, over the next couple of months we became good friends. Lots of banter, lots of great CS and most importantly true friendship. I invited him to my house for a csgo lan party. He said he was coming so i was looking forward to meeting him in real life. When he arrived at my house, he pushed me against the wall and started nibbling my ear. Turns out he was vegan. Don't trust this guy.
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Yo boys u ready for the perfect pyramid LUL ?

twitchquotes: Yo boys u ready for the perfect pyramid LUL ? I’m a god xDxDxD LUL xD look at the most perfect LUL pyramid. LUL LUL Try like me! Can’t without dank meme LUL LUL LUL And now look it will be o very tall LUL LUL LUL LUL Can you do a 5 line pyramid? LUL LUL LUL LUL LUL What about 6 lines XD LUL LUL LUL LUL LUL LUL Try it! Copy it! LUL LUL LUL LUL LUL LUL LUL Here it’s 8 LUL LUL LUL LUL LUL LUL LUL LUL it is 9! LUL LUL LUL LUL LUL LUL LUL LUL LUL
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Give me a second guys, Dex says

twitchquotes: "Give me a second, guys," Dex says. "Gotta hit up the mailman" He turns down the volume on his bork, and immediately gives Kripp a swift kick down the stairs. As Kripp yelps loudly in pain, Dex overturns the nearest chair, yelling "Fuck this delivery!" as loudly as he can. Fey tries to calm him down, but Dex swiftly bodyslams her onto a glass coffee table. After taking a few deep breaths, Dex wipes the blood off of his snout, sits back down at his ball, and resumes being a good doggy
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January 2019
Kripp

Wake up realization

zZzZ...  <⌒/ヽ-、___ /<_/____/  ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄    ∧_∧     ( ・_・) [insert text here]   _| ⊃/(___ / └-(____/
October 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing