[Copypasta] I saw 1.9293948382% of a girl's shoulders today

I saw 1.9293948382% of a girl's shoulders today. I immediately fell to my knees, as the rush of dopamine caused my the impending earth-shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen everyone in the immediate vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever have or ever will produce, shot out so hard that my dick was ripped apart by my übernut accelerating to 5% the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. It vaporized the girl as it punched right through her, barely slowed, before cutting through a structural support beam in the school as if it were a nuclear-powered angle grinder. The sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path, caused the school to collapse, and every female in the state of New Jersey to fall pregnant with my children. When the final death toll was tallied, there were 146 deaths, 458 injuries, and over 4 million pregnancies. As I lay dying under the rubble of my high school, I rest easy, knowing every one of my sons will repeat my glorious actions.
August 2021
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A dirty joke from the 1400s...

A dirty joke from the 1400s... In Florence, a young woman, somewhat of a simpleton, was on the point of delivering a baby. She had long been enduring acute pain, and the midwife, candle in hand, inspected her secret area, in order to ascertain if the child was coming. “Look also on the other side,” said the poor creature, “my husband has sometimes taken that road.” From “The Facetiae Or Jocose Tales of Poggio”, a joke book published in the 1400’s by Poggio Bracciolini
May 2022

Stop getting played like a fiddle, chat!

twitchquotes: Oh my god, why do you losers care so much about these streamers and emotes and bits and stuff? You act like streamers are close friends of yours or something, but they're just manipulating you to give them money and attention. Stop getting played like a fiddle, chat! Go out and live your own damn life instead of watching someone else play video games while copy and pasting pointless blocks of text!
twitch chat
May 2019

Iron Man v2

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⢄⢄⠢⡠⡀⢀⠄⡀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠡⠄⠉⠻⣻⣟⣿⣿⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⢣⠣⡎⡪⢂⠊⡜⣔⠰⡐⠠⠄⡾⠄⠈⠠⡁⡂⠄⠔⠸⣻⣿⣿⣯⢂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⢰⡱⣝⢕⡇⡪⢂⢊⢪⢎⢗⠕⢕⢠⣻⠄⠄⠄⠂⠢⠌⡀⠄⠨⢚⢿⣿⣧⢄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡐⡈⠌⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡧⣟⢼⣕⢝⢬⠨⡪⡚⡺⡸⡌⡆⠜⣾⠄⠄⠄⠁⡐⠠⣐⠨⠄⠁⠹⡹⡻⣷⡕⢄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢄⠇⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣻⣕⢗⠵⣍⣖⣕⡼⡼⣕⢭⢮⡆⠱⣽⡇⠄⠄⠂⠁⠄⢁⠢⡁⠄⠄⠐⠈⠺⢽⣳⣄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢔⢕⢌⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⣾⢯⢳⠹⠪⡺⡺⣚⢜⣽⣮⣳⡻⡇⡙⣜⡇⠄⠄⢸⠄⠄⠂⡀⢠⠂⠄⢶⠊⢉⡁⠨⡒⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⡨⣪⣿⢰⠈⠄⠄⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⣽⣵⢿⣸⢵⣫⣳⢅⠕⡗⣝⣼⣺⠇⡘⡲⠇⠄⠄⠨⠄⠐⢀⠐⠐⠡⢰⠁⠄⣴⣾⣷⣮⣇⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⡮⣷⣿⠪⠄⠄⠄⠠⠄⠂⠠⠄⡿⡞⡇⡟⣺⣺⢷⣿⣱⢕⢵⢺⢼⡁⠪⣘⡇⠄⠄⢨⠄⠐⠄⠄⢀⠄⢸⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆ ⠄⠄⠄⢸⣺⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣤⣖⢯⣻⡑⢕⢭⢷⣻⣽⡾⣮⡳⡵⣕⣗⡇⠡⡣⣃⠄⠄⠸⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣵⡿⣹ ⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣟⣯⢄⢤⢲⣺⣻⣻⡺⡕⡔⡊⡎⡮⣿⣿⣽⡿⣿⣻⣼⣼⣺⡇⡀⢎⢨⢐⢄⡀⠄⢁⠠⠄⠄⠐⠄⠣⠄⠸⣿⣿⣯⣷⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⢽⠲⡑⢕⢵⢱⢪⡳⣕⢇⢕⡕⣟⣽⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢗⢜⢜⢬⡳⣝⢸⣢⢀⠄⠄⠐⢀⠄⡀⠆⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⢽⣝⢎⡪⡰⡢⡱⡝⡮⡪⡣⣫⢎⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠄⢄⠄⠈⠑⠑⠭⡪⡪⢏⠗⡦⡀⠐⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄⠙⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⡲⣝⢮⢪⢊⢎⢪⢺⠪⣝⢮⣯⢯⣟⡯⠷⠋⢀⣠⣶⣾⡿⠿⢀⣴⣖⢅⠪⠘⡌⡎⢍⣻⠠⠅⠄⠄⠈⠢⠄⠄⠙⠿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⢺⢍⢎⢎⢪⡪⡮⣪⣿⣞⡟⠛⠋⢁⣠⣶⣿⡿⠛⠋⢀⣤⢾⢿⣕⢇⠡⢁⢑⠪⡳⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢑⠤⢀⢠ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣟⣮⡳⣭⢪⡣⡯⡮⠗⠋⠁⠄⠄⠈⠿⠟⠋⣁⣀⣴⣾⣿⣗⡯⡳⡕⡕⡕⡡⢂⠊⢮⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠐⠨⢁⠨ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⠷⠯⠽⠐⠁⠁⢀⡀⣤⢖⣽⢿⣦⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢎⠇⡪⣸⡪⡮⠊⠄⠌⠎⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡂⢁⠉⡀ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠛⠚⠒⠵⣶⣶⣶⣶⢪⢃⢇⠏⡳⡕⣝⢽⡽⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣺⠰⡱⢜⢮⡟⠁⠄⠄⠅⠅⢂⠐⠄⠐⢀⠄⠄⠄⠂⡁⠂ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠰⠄⠐⢒⣠⣿⣟⢖⠅⠆⢝⢸⡪⡗⡅⡯⣻⣺⢯⡷⡯⡏⡇⡅⡏⣯⡟⠄⠄⠄⠨⡊⢔⢁⠠⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⢕⢇⢣⢸⢐⢇⢯⢪⢪⠢⡣⠣⢱⢑⢑⠰⡸⡸⡇⠁⠄⠄⠠⡱⠨⢘⠄⠂⡀⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠂⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣟⣝⢔⢅⠸⡘⢌⠮⡨⡪⠨⡂⠅⡑⡠⢂⢇⢇⢿⠁⠄⢀⠠⠨⡘⢌⡐⡈⠄⠄⠠⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠹⣿⣿⣿⣯⢢⢊⢌⢂⠢⠑⠔⢌⡂⢎⠔⢔⢌⠎⡎⡮⡃⢀⠐⡐⠨⡐⠌⠄⡑⠄⢂⠐⢀⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⣿⣿⣿⣯⠂⡀⠔⢔⠡⡹⠰⡑⡅⡕⡱⠰⡑⡜⣜⡅⡢⡈⡢⡑⡢⠁⠰⠄⠨⢀⠐⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⢿⣿⣷⣢⢱⠡⡊⢌⠌⡪⢨⢘⠜⡌⢆⢕⢢⢇⢆⢪⢢⡑⡅⢁⡖⡄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠛⢿⣿⣵⡝⣜⢐⠕⢌⠢⡑⢌⠌⠆⠅⠑⠑⠑⠝⢜⠌⠠⢯⡚⡜⢕⢄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⢿⣷⡣⣇⠃⠅⠁⠈⡠⡠⡔⠜⠜⣿⣗⡖⡦⣰⢹⢸⢸⢸⡘⠌⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠋⢍⣠⡤⡆⣎⢇⣇⢧⡳⡍⡆⢿⣯⢯⣞⡮⣗⣝⢎⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⣿⣿⣎⢦⠣⠳⠑⠓⠑⠃⠩⠉⠈⠈⠉⠄⠁⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⡿⡞⠁⠄⠄⢀⠐⢐⠠⠈⡌⠌⠂⡁⠌⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢂⢂⢀⠡⠄⣈⠠⢄⠡⠒⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠢⠠⠊⠨⠐⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
October 2021

Happy Thanksgiving emoji

Happy 🦃 Thanksgiving 🦃! Guess what 😯❓it’s that time ⏰ of year 🗓 to gobble 🦃 gobble 🦃 gobble 🦃 up ⬆️ those dicks 🍆 chicks 🐥 and bicks 🤨 (big dicks) 🍆😫😫😫😫 I bet 😏 you’re all 😤😤😤 HORNY-copia 🌽 🥔🥕🌶🍆♋️👀👉👌 for SKANKS-giving 🤪😔🤤🤤😃😁😁 you’ll be saying 💬 thanks 🙏 for giving me all 😫 this 😫 COCK 🥳🥳🥳🥳 send this to 🔟 of your thiccest sluts with those hot 🥵 hot 🔥 tasty 🤤😋 peach pies 🥧 🍑 😏😏 if you know 🤔 what I mean ☺️😘😋 if you get 1️⃣ back 🙄🤬😡 then you and that slut 🤤🤤🤤😫😫😫 have to appropriate Native American culture together 😔🪶🏕 if you get 3️⃣ back 😈🤑 you’re going to get your turkey 🦃 eaten 😋😋😉😉😏 tomorrow night 😱😱😱😱 if you get 5️⃣ back 👀👀 you will be eating your cousin’s 👶🏻 peach 🍑 pie 🥧 just like you’ve always 💯💯💯wanted 😋🤤🥵 if you get 7️⃣ back 🛶 you’ll become 😲😲 a pilgrim 🎩👞 and be the villain 🦹‍♀️ of American 🇺🇸 history 📖📕📚 😔😔😔 if you get all 1️⃣0️⃣ back 🤯😱🤯😱🤯😱🤯 you’ll be feasting 🤤😏 this thanksgiving 👀👀 in more ways than one 😫😏👀🚼💘 okay you sexy 😇 sexy 😈 gobbling turkey poos 🦃🦃🦃 it’s time ⏰ for me to go ➡️ atone 🤣for the sins ✝️ 😔of my ancestors💀💀💀👩🏼‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏼🤰🏼🤱🏼👩‍👧🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪
January 2024

Emoji Pasta

Holiday Emoji

Thanksgiving

Moai statue head

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡴⠊⠉⠉⢉⠏⠻⣍⠑⢲⠢⠤⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣻⣿⢟⣽⠿⠯⠛⡸⢹⠀⢹⠒⣊⡡⠜⠓⠢⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡜⣿⣷⣽⠓⠀⢠⢂⣣⠋⠂⣾⠼⢌⠳⢄⢀⡠⠜⣣⡀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⢻⢱⣭⠷⠤⢅⠴⣡⡻⠃⠀⢠⠁⠀⢀⡱⠜⠍⢔⠊⠀⠹⡄⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣷⠌⠚⠷⠆⠠⠶⠭⢒⣁⠀⣤⠃⣀⢔⢋⡤⠊⠑⣄⠳⣄⠀⣧⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⠦⣀⡤⣄⠄⢄⣀⣠⣒⢦⡄⠩⠷⠦⠊⠀⠀⠀⠈⠣⡏⠢⣿⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⢫⠟⣝⠞⣼⢲⡞⣞⠋⠋⠉⠋⠓⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣨⠂⢸⡅ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⠃⡨⠊⢀⡠⡌⢘⢇⠞⠀⠀⠀⠀⠂⠡⡄⠀⠀⢀⠞⢁⠔⢹⡇ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣣⠞⢀⠔⢡⢢⠇⡘⠌⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⡌⠢⡔⢁⡴⠁⠀⢸⠃ ⠀⠀⠀⢠⠟⠁⠠⢊⠔⣡⢸⠀⠃⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣯⠂⡀⢪⡀⠀⠀⢸⠀ ⠀⢀⠔⣁⠐⠨⠀⠀⠈⠀⢄⠘⡀⠀⠈⢆⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⢁⠜⠙⢦⠙⣦⠀⢸⠀ ⡴⠁⠘⡁⣀⡡⠀⠀⠴⠒⠗⠋⠉⠉⡆⠀⠆⠄⠄⠘⠀⡎⠀⠀⠀⠑⢅⠑⢼⡀ ⢯⣉⣓⠒⠒⠤⠤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠐⠁⠀⠀⠀⠒⠀⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⣌⣇ ⠀⠈⢳⠄⠈⠀⠤⢄⣀⠀⢈⣉⡹⠯⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠂⠀⠀⡠⠚⣡⡿ ⠀⢠⣋⣀⣀⣀⣀⠤⠭⢛⡩⠄⠒⠩⠂⢀⠄⠀⠀⠀⠈⢢⡀⠀⡠⠋⡩⠋⠀⢳ ⠀⢹⠤⠬⠤⠬⠭⣉⣉⢃⠀⠀⣀⣀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⡞⢺⡈⠋⡢⠊⠀⠀⠀⢸ ⠀⠈⡆⠁⢀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠋⠉⠓⠂⠤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡧⠊⡠⠦⡈⠳⢄⠀⠀⠈ ⠀⠀⢹⡜⠀⠁⠀⠀⠒⢤⡄⠤⠔⠶⠒⠛⠧⠀⠀⡼⡠⠊⠀⠀⠙⢦⡈⠳⡄⠀ ⠀⠀⢸⠆⠀⠈⠀⠠⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⢄⠈⢲ ⠀⠀⢸⢀⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡄⠊⢠⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⡢⣸ ⠀⠀⠈⠳⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠁⠒⠁⠀⠠⣏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣔⠾⡿⠃ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠙⠛⠒⠤⠤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣔⣢⣀⣉⣂⣀⣀⣠⠴⠿⠛⠋⠀
October 2021
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