I saw 1.9293948382% of a girl's shoulders today. I immediately fell to my knees, as the rush of dopamine caused my the impending earth-shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen everyone in the immediate vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever have or ever will produce, shot out so hard that my dick was ripped apart by my übernut accelerating to 5% the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. It vaporized the girl as it punched right through her, barely slowed, before cutting through a structural support beam in the school as if it were a nuclear-powered angle grinder. The sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path, caused the school to collapse, and every female in the state of New Jersey to fall pregnant with my children. When the final death toll was tallied, there were 146 deaths, 458 injuries, and over 4 million pregnancies. As I lay dying under the rubble of my high school, I rest easy, knowing every one of my sons will repeat my glorious actions.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Leifman is awkward
twitchquotes:
Ｗｈｅｎ ｌｅｉｆｍａｎ ｔａｌｋ ｔｈｅ ｍｕｍｂｌｅ ａｕｔｏｍａｔｉｃａｌｌｙ ｇｏ ｔｏ ａｗｋｗａｒｄ． Ｌｅｉｆｍａｎ ｇｅｔ ｒｅｋｔ ｂｙ ｔｈｅ ｋｒｉｐｐ ａｎｄ ｆｅｅｌ ａｔ ｏｎｅ ｗｉｔｈ ｔｈｅ ｃｒｉｎｇｅ． ａｌｌ ｂｅｃｏｍｉｎｇ ｕｎｍｏｄ ｌｅｉｆｍａｎ．
twitch chat
Kripp
No, you’re NOT a real gamer.
No, you’re NOT a real gamer.
I’m so sick of all these people that think they’re gamers. No, you’re not. Most of you are not even close to being gamers. I see these people saying “I put well over 100 hours in this game, it’s great!” that’s nothing, most of us can easily put 300+ hours in all our games. I see people who only have a Nintendo Switch and claim to be gamers. Come talk to me when you pick up a PS4 controller then we be friends.
Also DEAR ALL WOMEN: Pokémon is not a real game. Animal Crossing is not a real game. The Sims is not a real game. Mario is not a real game. Stardew valley is not a real game. Mobile games are NOT.REAL.GAMES. put down the baby games and play something that requires challenge and skill for once.
Sincerely, all of the ACTUAL gamers.
Our Salt Lord who art in Canada. Kripparian be thy name
twitchquotes:
Our Salt Lord who art in Canada. Kripparian be thy name. Thy Bad RNG come. Thy topdecks be done. On Arena as it is in Ranked. Give us this day our daily rant. And forgive us our button presses as we forgive those who don't press theirs against us. For thine is the never lucky. The bullsh*t RNG. Forever and ever. Ameno.
twitch chat
Kripp
Hearthstone
Kripp the Grinch
twitchquotes:
Some call him the Grinch... but we call him Kripp he won't bring you gifts or candy for Christmas but will give you a carrot, some lettuce and some cabbage because he does not want you to have fun on Christmas... just Healthy. He will sneak into your house and give you those lovely vegan treats and then sneak off into the night to complain and moan about RNG......
twitch chat
Kripp
valorant is a child game
twitchquotes:
valarante child game.... look to cartoon grapfix to make kid player happy like children show.. valarante cartoon world with rainbow unlike counter strike with dark corridorr and raelistic gun.. valarante like playhouse. valarant playor run from csgo fear of dark world and realism
twitch chat