I saw 1.9293948382% of a girl's shoulders today. I immediately fell to my knees, as the rush of dopamine caused my the impending earth-shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen everyone in the immediate vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever have or ever will produce, shot out so hard that my dick was ripped apart by my übernut accelerating to 5% the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. It vaporized the girl as it punched right through her, barely slowed, before cutting through a structural support beam in the school as if it were a nuclear-powered angle grinder. The sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path, caused the school to collapse, and every female in the state of New Jersey to fall pregnant with my children. When the final death toll was tallied, there were 146 deaths, 458 injuries, and over 4 million pregnancies. As I lay dying under the rubble of my high school, I rest easy, knowing every one of my sons will repeat my glorious actions.
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas
She sells sea shells on the sea shore
She sells seashells on a seashore
But the value of these shells will fall
Due to the laws of supply and demand
No one wants to buy shells 'cause there's loads on the sand
Step 1: you must create a sense of scarcity
Shells will sell much better if the people think they’re rare, you see
Bare with me, take as many shells as you can find and hide 'em on an island
Stockpile 'em high until they’re rarer than a diamond
Step 2: you gotta make the people think that they want 'em
Really want 'em, really fuckin' want 'em, hit 'em like Bronson
Influencers, product placement, featured prime time entertainment
If you haven’t got a shell, then you're just a fucking wasteman
Three: it's monopoly, invest inside some property
Start a corporation, make a logo, do it properly
"Shells must sell", that will be your new philosophy
Swallow all your morals, they're a poor man's quality
Four: expand, expand, expand
Clear forest, make land, fresh blood on hand
Five: why just shells? Why limit yourself?
She sells seashells, sell oil as well
Six: guns, sell stocks, sell diamonds, sell rocks
Sell water to a fish, sell the time to a clock
Seven: press on the gas, take your foot off the brakes
Then run to be the president of the United States
Eight: big smile mate, big wave, that's great
Now the truth is overrated, tell lies out the gate
Nine: Polarise the people, controversy is the game
It don't matter if they hate you if they all say your name
Ten: the world is yours
Step out on a stage to a round of applause
You're a liar, a cheat, a devil, a whore
And you sell seashells on the seashore
Daddy, are the Spammers gone?
twitchquotes:
┻┳| •.•) Daddy, are the Spammers Gone? ┻┳|(҂`_´) ,︻╦╤─ ҉ NOPE,SON GET BACK IN YOUR BEDROOM
twitch chat
Riot Games
I sexually Identify as a Genji
twitchquotes:
I sexually Identify as a Genji. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of dashing through the battlefield swift striking the disgusting enemy team. People say being Genji is Impossible but I don’t care, I can solo carry. I’m having a plastic surgeon install cyborg parts,a shuriken dispenser and a dragonblade on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Genji Shimada Senpai" and respect my right to ignore objectives and play team deathmatch. Ryūjin no ken wo kurae!
twitch chat
Overwatch
I sexually Identify as
i forgor 💀
nah, you forgor 💀 how to be funny.
you forgor 💀 how to be original.
you forgor 💀 how to be a decent human being in society.
"i rember 😁"
yeah, you rember 😁 the reason your parents divorced.
you rember 😁 the reason why youre alone.
you rember 😁 why nobody likes you.
shut up lmao
I forgor
Mitch and Reynad
twitchquotes:
Mitch release Reynad from their passionate embrace to catch his breath. He holds Reynad's gaze intently, "Reynad, this is just like the arcane dream all over again". Reynad smiles and whispers, "Mitch let me show you what a real Tempo Storm is all about" and unzips his pants. 
twitch chat
Riot Games