[Copypasta] I saw 1.9293948382% of a girl's shoulders today

I saw 1.9293948382% of a girl's shoulders today. I immediately fell to my knees, as the rush of dopamine caused my the impending earth-shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen everyone in the immediate vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever have or ever will produce, shot out so hard that my dick was ripped apart by my รผbernut accelerating to 5% the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. It vaporized the girl as it punched right through her, barely slowed, before cutting through a structural support beam in the school as if it were a nuclear-powered angle grinder. The sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path, caused the school to collapse, and every female in the state of New Jersey to fall pregnant with my children. When the final death toll was tallied, there were 146 deaths, 458 injuries, and over 4 million pregnancies. As I lay dying under the rubble of my high school, I rest easy, knowing every one of my sons will repeat my glorious actions.
August 2021
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Shaggy Doo

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September 2021

OJ warriors

twitchquotes: Wแด‡ แด€ส€แด‡ ษชษด แด€ แด›ษชแดแด‡ แดา“ ษขส€แด‡แด€แด› แด…แด‡แด˜แด‡ส€แด‡ssษชแดษด แดส า“ส€ษชแด‡ษดแด…s. Kส€ษชแด˜แด˜ ษชs แด›แด‡sแด›ษชษดษข แดแดœส€ า“แด€ษชแด›สœ ส™ส แด˜สŸแด€สษชษดษข ส™แด€แด… แด„แด€sแดœแด€สŸ ษขแด€แดแด‡s แด€s แด€ แด…ษชส€แด‡แด„แด› ส€แด‡sแดœสŸแด› แดา“ สœแด€แด ษชษดษข แดœษดสœแดสŸส ส€แด‡สŸแด€แด›ษชแดษดs แดกษชแด›สœ แด€ษด แด‡แด ษชสŸ แดกษชแด›แด„สœ. Iแด› ษชs แดแดœส€ แด…แด‡sแด›ษชษดส แด€s OJ แดกแด€ส€ส€ษชแดส€s แด›แด แด˜แด€sแด›แด‡ส€ษชษดแด แด›สœแด‡ แด„แด€แด˜แดœแด„ษชษดแด แดœษดแด›ษชสŸ แด›สœแด‡ส€แด‡ ษชs ษดแดแด›สœษชษดษข สŸแด‡า“แด› ส™แดœแด› แด›สœแด‡ sแด€สŸแด แด€แด›ษชแดษด แดกแด‡ ษดแด‡แด‡แด… แด€ษดแด… แด…แด‡sแด‡ส€แด แด‡
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp

MLK Fortnite event helped my little brother stop his racism

My little brother (10) has always been one for those toxic semi racist squeakers youโ€™d find on Xbox lobbyโ€™s. Iโ€™ve walked in on him saying the n word to people in squads and heard him say the word when in a fit of rage. Iโ€™ve tried to tell him thatโ€™s hurtful and not acceptable at all but he doesnโ€™t listen to me and insists he isnโ€™t racist and that heโ€™s just saying it because heโ€™s angry. Iโ€™ve told my parents and they say the same thing, but they never enforce punishment because he is doing excellent in school due to the incentive of using his Xbox. Then the mlk event happened and it allowed him to see the history of segregation this country has had. It allowed me to show him the history of the words he used and how they were used to demean African Americans. He promised me he wouldnโ€™t say it again Thank you epic, while most say the event was tone deaf, it really helped me teach my brother a lesson.
September 2021

Fortnite

Master Yi is broken

Not likely. I bet you probably go 0/6 against him and come to Reddit afterwards to complain about him so you can feel better about losing. I'm 100% convinced that the same people who like to joke about a Master Yi's "thought process" are the same people who whine about Aatrox and Katarina because they haven't got a clue what grievous wounds is. Every champion has a counter, if you don't understand Master Yi's counter (jungle invading, timing abilities, proper itemization), then why do you bother to circlejerk the "Master Yi is broken" stereotype?
March 2021

League of Legends

twitch removed ฮšappa

twitchquotes: twitch removed ฮšappa FailFish
twitch chat
August 2019
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