[Copypasta] I saw 1.9293948382% of a girl's shoulders today

I saw 1.9293948382% of a girl's shoulders today. I immediately fell to my knees, as the rush of dopamine caused my the impending earth-shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen everyone in the immediate vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever have or ever will produce, shot out so hard that my dick was ripped apart by my übernut accelerating to 5% the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. It vaporized the girl as it punched right through her, barely slowed, before cutting through a structural support beam in the school as if it were a nuclear-powered angle grinder. The sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path, caused the school to collapse, and every female in the state of New Jersey to fall pregnant with my children. When the final death toll was tallied, there were 146 deaths, 458 injuries, and over 4 million pregnancies. As I lay dying under the rubble of my high school, I rest easy, knowing every one of my sons will repeat my glorious actions.
August 2021
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More Copypastas

why are you gay

"why are you gay" i dont know.. one day i woke up and saw a mans ass, then i bit my lip and then he turned around and bit his lip too. then we fucked all night and forgot to say no homo, but he was fine with it. since then we've been fucking everyday, he's really vocal in bed and i love having fun with him 😏😏😏 so thats why im gay. im pretty sure his name is [ur dads name here] he's really good in bed.
May 2022

Mary Wanna

twitchquotes: hello cute pie, my name is macaroni struthers and i am here to enlighten you about the dangers of a drug called "mary wanna." it is a very dangerous drug that can kill your life! so be careful please and do not consume it :)
twitch chat
December 2014
imaqtpie

Back in my day copying a message took skill

twitchquotes: ( ͡ʘ╭͜ʖ╮͡ʘ) Back in my day copying a message took skill. Now the chat stops moving when you scroll up. Disrespectful kids and their technology. ( ͡ʘ╭͜ʖ╮͡ʘ)
twitch chat
August 2015
Reynad

Ricardo

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢴⡶⣶⣶⣶⡒⣶⣶⣖⠢⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣋⣿⣿⣉⣿⣿⣯⣧⡰⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣹⣿⣿⣏⣿⣿⡗⣿⣿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠟⡛⣉⣭⣭⣭⠌⠛⡻⢿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣤⡌⣿⣷⣯⣭⣿⡆⣈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢛⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣷⣽⣿⣿⣿⢿⠃⣼⣧⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣛⣻⣿⠟⣀⡜⣻⢿⣿⣿⣶⣤⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣤⣀⣨⣥⣾⢟⣧⣿⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⡀⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢟⣫⣯⡻⣋⣵⣟⡼⣛⠴⣫⣭⣽⣿⣷⣭⡻⣦⡀⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⢏⣽⣿⢋⣾⡟⢺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢹⣷⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⢣⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⡇⣾⣿⠏⠉⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⡆ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⠸⣿⡇⣿⣿⡆⣼⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⡇ ⠇⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⡘⣿⣿⣷⢀⣿⣷⣿⣿⡿⠿⢿⣿⣿⡇⣩⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣷⠙⠛⠋⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⡇
May 2019

Illuminati confirmed. Get rekt CLG

twitchquotes: FInals being played in MSG. Who else plays in MSG? The Knicks. Who's with the Knicks? Phil Jackson. What is Phil Jackson famous for? 3-peats. What is TSM trying to do today? 3-peat. Illuminati confirmed. Get rekt CLG.
twitch chat
August 2015
Riot Games

League of Legends

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