[Copypasta] I saw 1.9293948382% of a girl's shoulders today

I saw 1.9293948382% of a girl's shoulders today. I immediately fell to my knees, as the rush of dopamine caused my the impending earth-shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen everyone in the immediate vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever have or ever will produce, shot out so hard that my dick was ripped apart by my ΓΌbernut accelerating to 5% the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. It vaporized the girl as it punched right through her, barely slowed, before cutting through a structural support beam in the school as if it were a nuclear-powered angle grinder. The sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path, caused the school to collapse, and every female in the state of New Jersey to fall pregnant with my children. When the final death toll was tallied, there were 146 deaths, 458 injuries, and over 4 million pregnancies. As I lay dying under the rubble of my high school, I rest easy, knowing every one of my sons will repeat my glorious actions.
August 2021
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

My son is learning Twitch speak

twitchquotes: Kripp I need advice. My son watches a lot of you, and he doesn’t speak English but is learning from chat. He's starting using terms like "pog","jabaited", and "kappa,” but its gotten to the point where every sentence is Twitchspeak. At dinner my daughter was talking about how she got accepted to college, and my son said "pog you, easy clap". I told him to talk normally to his family, and he replied "Weird champ, normies omegaLOL." I blacklisted twitch and now my son is hysterical, what to do.
twitch chat
December 2019
Kripp

Imaqtpie was excommunicated from the Roman Catholic Church

twitchquotes: qtpie i know things are hard now with being excommunicated from the roman catholic church and all but listen to me. You're going to be okay and make it through this friend. good luck and god.... nvm just bless you...
twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie

I am a manager for many twitch celebrities

twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Sonic Inflation

Today I learned that in 2003 the fast food company β€œSonic” began printing out their own money to pay their workers. This led to a huge inflation in the economy and was one of the leading factors of the 2008-2009 recession. Would highly recommend looking up Sonic Inflation on google if you want to learn more.
April 2021

10 years since Dota 2 update

twitchquotes: οΌ‘οΌγ€€ο½™ο½…ο½ο½’ο½“γ€€ο½“ο½‰ο½Žο½ƒο½…γ€€οΌ€ο½ο½”ο½γ€€οΌ’γ€€ο½•ο½ο½„ο½ο½”ο½…οΌŽγ€€οΌ©γ€€ο½—ο½ο½Œο½‹γ€€ο½”ο½ˆο½’ο½ο½•ο½‡ο½ˆγ€€ο½”ο½ˆο½…γ€€ο½… ο½ο½ο½”ο½™γ€€ο½“ο½”ο½’ο½…ο½…ο½”ο½“γ€€ο½”ο½’ο½™ο½‰ο½Žο½‡γ€€ο½”ο½γ€€ο½”ο½ˆο½‰ο½Žο½‹γ€€ο½ο½†γ€€ο½“ο½ο½ο½…ο½”ο½ˆο½‰ο½Žο½‡γ€€ο½…ο½Œο½“ο½…γ€€ο½‚ο½•ο½” γ€€οΌ©γ€€ο½ο½Œο½—ο½ο½™ο½“γ€€ο½…ο½Žο½„γ€€ο½•ο½γ€€ο½“ο½‰ο½”ο½”ο½‰ο½Žο½‡γ€€ο½ˆο½…ο½’ο½…οΌŒγ€€ο½‰ο½Žγ€€ο½†ο½’ο½ο½Žο½”γ€€ο½ο½†γ€€ο½ο½™γ€€ο½ƒο½ο½ο½ ο½•ο½”ο½…ο½’οΌŽγ€€οΌ©γ€€ο½“ο½”ο½ο½’ο½…γ€€ο½ο½”γ€€ο½”ο½ˆο½…γ€€ο½“ο½ƒο½’ο½…ο½…ο½Žγ€€ο½†ο½ο½’γ€€ο½ˆο½ο½•ο½’ο½“γ€€ο½ο½Žο½„γ€€ο½”ο½’ο½™γ€€ο½”ο½γ€€ο½“ ο½•ο½ο½ο½ο½Žγ€€IcefrogοΌŽγ€€οΌ©γ€€ο½—ο½ο½”ο½ƒο½ˆγ€€ο½ο½”ο½ˆο½…ο½’γ€€ο½‡ο½ο½ο½…ο½“γ€€ο½•ο½ο½„ο½ο½”ο½‰ο½Žο½‡γ€€ο½ο½Žο½„γ€€ο½‡ο½… ο½”ο½”ο½‰ο½Žο½‡γ€€ο½Žο½…ο½—γ€€ο½ˆο½…ο½’ο½ο½…ο½“γ€€ο½‚ο½•ο½”γ€€ο½‰ο½”γ€€ο½‰ο½“γ€€ο½Žο½γ€€ο½‡ο½ο½ο½„οΌŽγ€€οΌ©γ€€ο½ƒο½ο½•ο½Žο½”ο½…ο½’γ€€ο½ο½‰ο½ƒο½‹ γ€€οΌ³ο½Žο½‰ο½ο½…ο½’γ€€ο½”ο½γ€€ο½’ο½…ο½“ο½‰ο½“ο½”γ€€ο½”ο½ˆο½…γ€€ο½ο½…ο½”ο½οΌŒγ€€ο½‚ο½•ο½”γ€€ο½‰ο½”'ο½“γ€€ο½ο½Œο½Œγ€€ο½ο½…ο½ο½Žο½‰ο½Žο½‡ο½Œο½… ο½“ο½“οΌŽγ€€οΌ΄ο½ˆο½…γ€€ο½…ο½Žο½„γ€€ο½‰ο½“γ€€ο½Žο½…ο½ο½’οΌŽγ€€οΌ΄ο½ˆο½…ο½Žγ€€οΌ©γ€€ο½Œο½ο½ο½‹γ€€ο½ο½Žγ€€ο½”ο½ˆο½…γ€€ο½ο½ο½”ο½ƒο½ˆοΌο½•ο½ο½„ο½ ο½”ο½…γ€€ο½ˆο½‰ο½“ο½”ο½ο½’ο½™γ€€ο½ο½Žο½„γ€€ο½ƒο½’ο½™γ€€ο½ο½™ο½“ο½…ο½Œο½†γ€€ο½”ο½γ€€ο½“ο½Œο½…ο½…ο½οΌŽ
twitch chat
April 2015
SingSing

Dota 2

Text-to-Speech Playing