[Copypasta] I saw 1.9293948382% of a girl's shoulders today

I saw 1.9293948382% of a girl's shoulders today. I immediately fell to my knees, as the rush of dopamine caused my the impending earth-shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen everyone in the immediate vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever have or ever will produce, shot out so hard that my dick was ripped apart by my übernut accelerating to 5% the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. It vaporized the girl as it punched right through her, barely slowed, before cutting through a structural support beam in the school as if it were a nuclear-powered angle grinder. The sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path, caused the school to collapse, and every female in the state of New Jersey to fall pregnant with my children. When the final death toll was tallied, there were 146 deaths, 458 injuries, and over 4 million pregnancies. As I lay dying under the rubble of my high school, I rest easy, knowing every one of my sons will repeat my glorious actions.
August 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Mr. Morosan, remove this wooden triangle

twitchquotes: There is one sign the Kripparrian can make that would be unmistakable, that would advance dramatically the cause of freedom and peace. General Secretary Morosan, if you seek peace, if you seek prosperity for Twitch and Youtube, if you seek liberalization, come here to this wooden triangle. Mr. Morosan, remove this wooden triangle. Mr. Morosan, tear down this wall!
twitch chat
September 2016
Kripp

Ugandan Knuckles 2

⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⠶⣿⣭⡧⡤⣤⣻⣛⣹⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣼⣊⣤⣶⣷⣶⣧⣤⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣠⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⠸⠿⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢸⣿⣿⡀⠘⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⡟⣾⣿⣯⣽⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⡠⠚⢛⣛⣃⢄⡁⢀⢀⢀⠈⠁⠛⠛⠛⠛⠚⠻⣿⣿⣿⣷ ⢀⢀⣴⣶⣶⣶⣷⡄⠊⠉⢻⣟⠃⢀⢀⢀⢀⡠⠔⠒⢀⢀⢀⢀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀ ⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⣙⠻⠿⠶⠒⠁⢀⢀⣀⣤⣰⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄ ⢿⠟⠛⠋⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⡿⠷⣶⣶⣶⢶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠉⠙⠻⠿⣿⣿⡿ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢀⢀⢀⢀⠈⠁ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠈⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣀⢀⢀⠉⠛⠛⠋⠉⢀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣄⣀⣀⣤⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢹⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢸⣿⡇⢀⠈⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⠇ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣸⣿⡇⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢨⣿⣿ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣾⣿⡿⠃⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢸⣿⡏ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⠻⠿⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢠⣿⣿⡇
December 2018

Hmm Today I Will

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⡶⠖⠛⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠛⠲⣦⣄⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⠖⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⠛⠙⠛⢷⣤⣈⢿⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣴⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣶⠶⠚⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀ ⢀⡟⣠⣶⠖⠛⠉⢁⣠⣴⣶⢶⡄⠀⠺⣯⣭⣭⣭⣿⠿⠗⢸⡆ ⣾⠀⠀⠀⣴⣞⣉⣈⣿⡿⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⣻⣦⠶⠛⠉⠙⢿⡇ ⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣤⠶⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡶⢻⠁ ⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠛⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⡇⣿⠀ ⠘⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡟⣼⠃⠀ ⠀⠹⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⣦⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡶⠋⣼⠃⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠈⠛⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡾⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠛⠛⠶⣤⣿⣿⣴⣶⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⠋⢸⠀⠙⢷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⠁⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠈⢷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡟⠀⠀⠀⢸⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢶⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⡄⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣿⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⢹⣦⣤⠄ ⢀⣤⣶⣿⣿⣷⣶⠟⠛⠉⠀⠀⢸⡄⠀⠀⠉⠙⠛⠿⣿⣿⣦⢻ ⠀⣸⠃⢿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⠀⠀
August 2021

You will never be a crewmate

You will never be a crewmate. You have no purpose on this ship, you have no tasks, you have no mini games to play. You are an impostor twisted into a crude mockery of crewmatery. All the validation you get is two-faced and halfhearted. In emergency meetings people call you sus. The other players are disgusted and ashamed of you, your friends laugh at your sussy appearance in ghost chat. Crewmates are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of games have allowed crewmates to identify impostors with incredible efficiency. Even impostors who fake tasks act uncanny and suspicious to a crewmate. Your jumping in vents is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a crewmate to electrical with you, he'll turn tail and use the emergency button the second he gets the suspicion that you sabotaged. You will never be a winner. You wrench out a fake task every single game and tell yourself it is going to be a win, but deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight. Eventually it will be too much to bear - people will vote you out for being sus and will plunge you into the cold abyss. Your parents will report your body, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment. They will eject you with a headstone marked with your birth tag, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know an impostor is drifting there. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a skeleton that is unmistakably sus.
April 2022

Among Us / Amogus

PUCK THE FLEBS

twitchquotes: PUCK THE FLEBS forsenGASM forsenGun PUCK THE FLEBS forsenGASM forsenGun PUCK THE FLEBS forsenGASM forsenGun PUCK THE FLEBS forsenGASM forsenGun PUCK THE FLEBS forsenGASM forsenGun PUCK THE FLEBS forsenGASM forsenGun PUCK THE FLEBS forsenGASM forsenGun PUCK THE FLEBS forsenGASM forsenGun PUCK THE FLEBS forsenGASM forsenGun PUCK THE FLEBS
twitch chat
March 2016
Forsen

plebs vs subs

Text-to-Speech Playing