I saw 1.9293948382% of a girl's shoulders today. I immediately fell to my knees, as the rush of dopamine caused my the impending earth-shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen everyone in the immediate vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever have or ever will produce, shot out so hard that my dick was ripped apart by my รผbernut accelerating to 5% the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. It vaporized the girl as it punched right through her, barely slowed, before cutting through a structural support beam in the school as if it were a nuclear-powered angle grinder. The sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path, caused the school to collapse, and every female in the state of New Jersey to fall pregnant with my children. When the final death toll was tallied, there were 146 deaths, 458 injuries, and over 4 million pregnancies. As I lay dying under the rubble of my high school, I rest easy, knowing every one of my sons will repeat my glorious actions.
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
affirmative
twitchquotes:
๐affirmative ๐amen ๐ซfine ๐good ๐okay ๐ธtrue ๐yea ๐all rightโกaye ๐beyond a doubt ๐ฅby all means ๐certainly โจdefinitely ๐โeven so ๐ฏexactly ๐gladly good enoughโค granted ๐indubitably ๐just so ๐ฅmost assuredly ๐naturally ๐ชof course ๐positively ๐ปprecisely ๐นsure thing ๐surely ๐undoubtedly ๐unquestionably ๐very well ๐ถwillingly ๐without fail ๐ฉyep๐
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Emoji Pasta
Comedy God has entered the building: Attack Helicopter
I Sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter
WEE WOO WEE WOO
ALERT! COMEDY GOD HAS ENTERED THE BUILDING! GET TO COVER!
steps on stage
Bystander: "Oh god! Don't do it! I have a family!"
Comedy God: "Heh..."
adjusts fedora
the building is filled with fear and anticipation
God and Jesus himself looks on in suspense
comedy god clears throat
everything is completely quiet not a single sound is heard
world leaders look and wait with dread
everything in the world stops
nothing is happening
comedy god smirks
no one is prepared for what is going to happen
comedy god musters all of this power
he bellows out to the world
"ATTACK"
absolute suspense
everyone is filled with overwhelming dread
"HELICOPTER"
all at once, absolute pandemonium commences
all nuclear powers launch their nukes at once
giant brawls start
43 wars are declared simultaneously
a shockwave travels around the earth
earth is driven into chaos
humanity is regressed back to the stone age
the pure funny of that joke destroyed civilization itself
all the while people are laughing harder than they ever did
people who aren't killed die from laughter
literally the funniest joke in the world
then the comedy god himself posts his creation to reddit and gets karma
Classic
World War 2 in emojis
๐ฉ๐ช๐จ๐ป๐ค๐จ๐ปโ๐ฆณ๐ฉ๐ช
๐ฉ๐ช๐จ๐ป๐ถโโ๏ธ๐ถโโ๏ธ๐ถโโ๏ธ๐ถโโ๏ธ๐ฆ๐ซ๐ท๐๐
๐ฉ๐ช๐จ๐ป๐ถโโ๏ธ๐ถโโ๏ธ๐ถโโ๏ธโก๏ธ๐๐๐ฆ๐น
๐ฉ๐ช๐จ๐ป๐ก๐ก๐๐๐จ๐ฟ๐จ
๐ฌ๐ง๐จ๐ปโ๐ฆณ๐๐๐ซ๐ท๐จโ๐จ๐๐
๐จ๐ฟ๐ต๐ซ๐จ๐ป๐ฉ๐ช
๐ฉ๐ช๐จ๐ป๐ค๐จ๐ป๐ท๐บ
๐ฉ๐ช๐จ๐ป๐ก๐ก๐๐๐๐ต๐ฑ
๐ต๐ฑ๐คฌ๐คฌ๐คฌ๐คฌ๐
โโ๏ธ๐
โโ๏ธ
๐ฉ๐ช๐จ๐ป๐ค๐ท๐บ๐จ๐ป๐ถโโ๏ธ๐ถโโ๏ธ๐ถโโ๏ธ๐ถโโ๏ธโโก๏ธโ๐ต๐ฑ๐ฏ
๐ซ๐ท๐จโ๐จ๐ฏ๐ฌ๐ง๐จ๐ปโ๐ฆณ๐ฏ
๐ซ๐ท๐จโ๐จ๐ก๐ฌ๐ง๐จ๐ปโ๐ฆณโโ๐๏ธโ๐จ๐ป๐ฉ๐ช
๐ต๐ฑ๐ต๐ซ๐จ๐ป๐ฉ๐ช๐ค๐จ๐ป๐ท๐บ
๐ซ๐ท๐ต๐ซ๐จ๐ป๐ฉ๐ช
๐ฌ๐ง๐จ๐ปโ๐ฆณโ๐ข
๐ฌ๐ง๐จ๐ปโ๐ฆณ๐๐โก๏ธ๐ณ๐ณโฟ๐บ๐ธ
๐ฏ๐ต๐๐ซ๐ซ๐ฃ๐ฃโก๏ธ๐บ๐ธโฟ๐ฏ๐ฏ๐ญ๐ญ
๐บ๐ธโฟ๐ก๐ก๐ฌ๐ง๐จ๐ปโ๐ฆณโโ๐๏ธโ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ๐ป๐ฏ๐ต๐๐ฎ๐น๐จโ๐ฆฒ
๐ฉ๐ช๐จ๐ปโ๐๏ธโ๐ท๐บ๐จ๐ป๐ฏ๐ฏ๐ก๐ก๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ
๐ท๐บ๐จ๐ป๐๐๐โก๏ธ๐บ๐ธ๐ณ๐ฌ๐ง๐ณ
๐ฉ๐ช๐จ๐ป๐ต๐ซ๐บ๐ธ๐๐ท๐บ๐๐จ๐ฆ๐๐ซ๐ท๐
๐ฏ๐ต๐ต๐ซ๐บ๐ธ๐โข๐ฃ
๐บ๐ณ
Emoji Pasta
Mods can't ban me at this pace
twitchquotes:
๐ข SLOW AND STEADY ๐ข WINS THE RACE ๐ข MODS CAN'T BAN ME ๐ข AT THIS PACE ๐ข
twitch chat
MODS
Classic
Me name is Kowak and I are from Poland
twitchquotes:
Hi me name is Kowak and I are from Poland. Sorry for me bed England. I works in a shop, and i only earn a little money. So to afford an computer i had to selled me girlfriend. But I cant play LOL? Me heard that someone say something about internett, but what is internett? Ples help me poor human from poland. And no copy pasterino trollerino
twitch chat
imaqtpie