[Copypasta] I saw 1.9293948382% of a girl's shoulders today

I saw 1.9293948382% of a girl's shoulders today. I immediately fell to my knees, as the rush of dopamine caused my the impending earth-shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen everyone in the immediate vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever have or ever will produce, shot out so hard that my dick was ripped apart by my übernut accelerating to 5% the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. It vaporized the girl as it punched right through her, barely slowed, before cutting through a structural support beam in the school as if it were a nuclear-powered angle grinder. The sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path, caused the school to collapse, and every female in the state of New Jersey to fall pregnant with my children. When the final death toll was tallied, there were 146 deaths, 458 injuries, and over 4 million pregnancies. As I lay dying under the rubble of my high school, I rest easy, knowing every one of my sons will repeat my glorious actions.
August 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Pickpocket hot tip

twitchquotes: Hot tip: When someone yells pickpocket start searching for your wallet in the groin area and exclaim 'Thank God my wallet is safely tucked between my testicles'. The pickpocket will see this and assume that the wallet is there. These people usually have very supple and delicate hands so when they try to take your wallet you will instead get a pleasant fondling to your genital area.
twitch chat
January 2019

Classic

PogU

⠄⠄⢀⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣄⡀⠄ ⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶ ⠄⠄⠰⣿⠿⢋⣉⣀⣀⣤⣤⣭⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠛⠿⠿⢿⣿ ⠄⣠⣾⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣦⣤⡙ ⢠⣿⣿⣿⣟⣉⣡⣀⣂⣰⣬⣙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣛⡛⣛⠛⠿⢿⣿ ⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣭⣭⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠶⠶⢾⣦⣬⣿ ⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠛⠻⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣤⣶⣦⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿ ⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠟⠛⠉⠙⠛⠛⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠉⠁⠄ ⣿⡆⠄⠄⡀⠄⣿⡇⠈⠒⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⠛⣿⣿⠋⢀⠠⠄⢀ ⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⢾⣿⣿⣷⠄⠹⣷⣤⣤⣄⣀⣠⣶⣶⣦⣾⣿⡿⠄⠄⠄⢠⣾ ⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⠈⠙⢿⣉⠄⠄⠉⠻⠿⢿⣿⠿⠋⠉⣿⣿⣟⣥⠄⢀⣰⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣧⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠻⠶⠄⢠⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣿⠿⢉⣿⣿⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿
April 2019

You suck

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠹⣷⡀⣰⡿⠁⢀⣾⠟⠛⢿⣶⡀⢸⣿⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⡟⠁⠀⢸⣿⠀⠀⢀⣿⡇⢸⣿⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠈⠻⢷⣶⡾⠟⠀⠈⠻⣷⣶⡿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣰⡞⠛⠿⠦⠀⢸⣿⠀⠀⣿⣿⠀⣠⣾⠿⠿⣶⡀⢸⣿⠀⣠⣾⠟⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠘⠻⠷⣶⣤⠀⢸⣿⠀⠀⣿⣿⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⢿⣧⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠲⣧⣤⣼⠿⠀⠸⢿⣦⣴⡿⠃⠀⠹⢿⣤⣴⡿⠁⢸⣿⠁⠈⢿⣷⡀⠀
June 2019

Twitch removes PogChamp

We've made the decision to remove the PogChamp emote following statements from the face of the emote encouraging further violence after what took place in the Capitol today. We want the sentiment and use of Pog to live on - its meaning is much bigger than the person depicted or image itself- and it has a big place in Twitch culture. However, we can't in good conscience continue to enable use of the image. We will work with the community to design a new emote for the most hype moments on Twitch.
January 2021

Here's a brofist for you.... nah just kidding

twitchquotes: ( ° ͜ʖ͡°) krippFist Hey Kripp, here's a brofist for you.... nah just kidding ( ° ͜ʖ͡°)╭∩╮ go *** yourself Kappa
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing