[Copypasta] I saw 1.9293948382% of a girl's shoulders today

I saw 1.9293948382% of a girl's shoulders today. I immediately fell to my knees, as the rush of dopamine caused my the impending earth-shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen everyone in the immediate vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever have or ever will produce, shot out so hard that my dick was ripped apart by my ΓΌbernut accelerating to 5% the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. It vaporized the girl as it punched right through her, barely slowed, before cutting through a structural support beam in the school as if it were a nuclear-powered angle grinder. The sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path, caused the school to collapse, and every female in the state of New Jersey to fall pregnant with my children. When the final death toll was tallied, there were 146 deaths, 458 injuries, and over 4 million pregnancies. As I lay dying under the rubble of my high school, I rest easy, knowing every one of my sons will repeat my glorious actions.
August 2021
I used to be a real ad
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Every time I see Tifa punch someone I get a little sadder

twitchquotes: Every time I see Tifa punch someone I get a little sadder, because tha tis one less punch that could have been directed at my nutsack. I pray at night for Tifa to break into my house and mercilessly beat the everloving fuck out of my balls. I will pray extra hard tonight.
twitch chat
April 2020

30% Salty

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–‘β–‘SALTY
ascii art
November 2014

Pusheen the Cat

─────────────────────────────────────── β”€β”€β”€β–β–€β–„β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–€β–Œβ”€β”€β”€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β–Œβ–’β–’β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–’β–’β–β–„β–€β–€β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–€β–€β–„β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ ──▐▒▒▒▒▀▒▀▒▀▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▀▄──────── β”€β”€β–Œβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–„β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β–€β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–Œβ–’β–’β–ˆβ–’β–’β–β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β–€β–Œβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–’β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–β”€β”€β”€β–„β–„ β–β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ–„β–ˆβ–’β–ˆ β–β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–’β–ˆβ–€β”€ β–β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β”€ β–β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β–Œβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β–β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β–Œβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β–β–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–Œβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ ────▀▄▄▀▀▀▀▀▄▄▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▄▄▀▀▀▀▀▄▄▀────────
ascii art
September 2021

What is the most powerful card in Hearthstone?

twitchquotes: What is the most powerful card in Hearthstone? Credit Card.
twitch chat
August 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

Donger Song

twitchquotes: I like to raise my Donger I do it all the time γƒ½ΰΌΌΰΊˆΩ„ΝœΰΊˆΰΌ½οΎ‰ and every time its loweredβ”ŒΰΌΌΰΊˆΩ„ΝœΰΊˆΰΌ½β” I cry and start to whine β”ŒΰΌΌ@Ω„Νœ@༽┐But never need to worry ΰΌΌ ΒΊΩ„ΝŸΒΊΰΌ½ my Donger's staying strong γƒ½ΰΌΌΰΊˆΩ„ΝœΰΊˆΰΌ½οΎ‰A Donger saved is a Donger earned so sing the Donger song! α•¦ΰΌΌΰΊˆΩ„ΝœΰΊˆΰΌ½α•€
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp
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