[Copypasta] I saw 1.9293948382% of a girl's shoulders today

I saw 1.9293948382% of a girl's shoulders today. I immediately fell to my knees, as the rush of dopamine caused my the impending earth-shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen everyone in the immediate vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever have or ever will produce, shot out so hard that my dick was ripped apart by my übernut accelerating to 5% the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. It vaporized the girl as it punched right through her, barely slowed, before cutting through a structural support beam in the school as if it were a nuclear-powered angle grinder. The sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path, caused the school to collapse, and every female in the state of New Jersey to fall pregnant with my children. When the final death toll was tallied, there were 146 deaths, 458 injuries, and over 4 million pregnancies. As I lay dying under the rubble of my high school, I rest easy, knowing every one of my sons will repeat my glorious actions.
August 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

I lied. Again

twitchquotes: Months have passed. Hosty has lost everything. "I wish I never ghosted" says a heavily drunk Hosty as he notices a dark figure behind him."I can give you your life back as long as you do something for me" says Amaz. Hosty knowing what Amaz wants bends over and lets him have his way. Afterwards as he cries on bed, Amaz whispers in his ear "I lied. Again"
twitch chat
February 2015
Tempo Storm

How do I get my husband to stop going ‘Goblin Mode’ during sex?

How do I get my husband to stop going ‘Goblin Mode’ during sex? TLDR; My husband says ‘Goblin Mode activated’ when we start to have sex, growls and acts like a caveman, and then says ‘Goblin Mode off’ when we stop, and then pretends not to remember afterward. I really love my husband and he’s always been great in bed. But recently he’s been acting really weird. So, a couple of days ago, my son went on a rampage through our house and said he was in ‘Goblin Mode’. We didn’t really know what to do with him, so we sent him to live with my parents so he can go to a special needs school. My husband a really great relationship with our son and loved him more than anything. Naturally, he was upset when he had to leave. He’s an incredibly tough man, but this was the first time I’ve ever seen him cry. I think since then, he’s been a little emotionally unwell. I’ve heard him muttering, ‘Goblin’ repeatedly when he didn’t notice me, staring blankly into his food, and just going alone by himself to do who knows what. I feel awful for him, but we both agreed that this was for the best. Last night, the day after our son went away, we decided to have sex to relieve our stress. However, my husband said ‘Goblin Mode activated’, starting growling, and went wild having sex with me. Admittedly, it was some of the best and most experimental sex I’ve ever had, but I’m worried that something might be going on with my husband. Any advice? Edit: The problem isn’t the ‘Goblin Mode’, it’s that he could be ill
July 2022

Confessions

Classic

Only the chosen one can stack these cans!

twitchquotes: DrinkPurple Only the chosen one can stack these cans! PogChamp DrinkPurple but wait PogChamp can you do three cans! PogChamp PogChamp !! DrinkPurple
twitch chat
August 2016

Classic

What is the most powerful card in Hearthstone?

twitchquotes: What is the most powerful card in Hearthstone? Credit Card.
twitch chat
August 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

Half Life logo

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⣤⣤⣴⣦⣤⣤⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣶⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⣶⣶⣶⣶⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣦⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠛⢻⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀ ⠀⢸⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⡇⠀ ⠀⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⠀ ⠀⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⡟⢹⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣹⣿⣿⠀ ⠀⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⡿⠀ ⠀⢸⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣷⣤⣤⡆⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⠇⠀ ⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣄⠀⠀⠾⠿⠿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠀⣰⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠻⣿⣿⣧⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣷⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
June 2019
Text-to-Speech Playing