I saw 1.9293948382% of a girl's shoulders today. I immediately fell to my knees, as the rush of dopamine caused my the impending earth-shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen everyone in the immediate vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever have or ever will produce, shot out so hard that my dick was ripped apart by my übernut accelerating to 5% the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. It vaporized the girl as it punched right through her, barely slowed, before cutting through a structural support beam in the school as if it were a nuclear-powered angle grinder. The sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path, caused the school to collapse, and every female in the state of New Jersey to fall pregnant with my children. When the final death toll was tallied, there were 146 deaths, 458 injuries, and over 4 million pregnancies. As I lay dying under the rubble of my high school, I rest easy, knowing every one of my sons will repeat my glorious actions.
I used to be a real ad
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Competitive Super Smash Bros Melee has reached its zenith
twitchquotes:
The year is 20XX. Competitive Super Smash Bros Melee has reached its zenith. No longer are matches decided through complex inputs and tactics. It began when some questioned the idea of matchups against characters. The community realized that gameplay no longer mattered, and only the character. Tournaments became complex games of rock-paper-scissors, and eventually another epiphany was had. Why bother with deciding afterwards and wasting time when the match could be decided before it began? Thus, referees decided who won and who lost automatically using a combination of facial recognition AI, mandatory reflex tests, and standardized quizzes and tests on military tactics and stratagem. With time, tests weren't even needed. Judges became so acute at deciding who won and who lost that tournaments happened in seconds, and results uploaded in less. The final destination was reached. Babies were bred and engineered to become the most desirable "players", if one could call it that. Soon, humanity ceased to think, and became mindless slaves to the autonomous ones and zeroes that decided their worth, ironically becoming the machines they once played with.
twitch chat
Super Smash Bros
Twitch chat hydra
twitchquotes:
Ψ༼ಠ益ಠ༽Ψ THIS IS THE TWITCH CHAT HYDRA! YOU BAN 1 HEAD 2 NEW ONES WILL START TO SPAM! RESISTANCE IS FUTILE! Ψ༼ಠ益ಠ༽Ψ
twitch chat
MODS
Ben Shapiro destroys another leftist
"Mr. Shapiro, what are your thoughts on women's rights to have an abortion?"
Ben: "WELL, that's a very interesting QUESTION, SIR. Before I get started, did you know that my WIFE is a DOCTOR?"
Reporter: "...Mr. Shapiro, that's- not-"
Ben: "I didn't think so, LEFTIST. Now back to your question- 'should women be allowed to MURDER and SHOOT innocent BABIES and CHILDREN?"
Reporter: "Sir, that's not what my orig-"
Ben: "OBVIOUSLY not. Now according to PragerU UNIVERSITY, there once was a FARMER who had a DOG, and Bingo was his name-o. Do you know how to spell it?"
Reporter: (silence)
Ben: "B-I-N-G-O. And Bingo was his name-o."
(Stares reporter in the eye; has not blinked since the asked question)
"B, I, N G O, B, I, N G O, B, I, N G O, And Bingo was his name-o."
Reporter: (Visibly taken aback) "Mr. Shapiro, this is ridiculo-"
(The conservative crowd begins laughing and shouting and singing with Ben)
All: "And Bingo was his name-o!"
(Ben shouting as the curtains close,) "Another CUCK LEFTIST DESTROYED! BAZINGA!"
Ben Shapiro
How to commit all 7 deadly sins at once
If you angerly masturbate to another guy's money and jizz in your mouth and compliment yourself for the taste when you're on your shift at work, then you've committed all 7 sins... with room to spare.
Classic
monkaS
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢛⢛⡛⡻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⢛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⢟⢱⡔⡝⣜⣜⢜⢜⡲⡬⡉⢕⢆⢏⢎⢇⢇⣧⡉⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⡟⡱⣸⠸⢝⢅⢆⢖⣜⣲⣵⣴⣱⣈⡣⣋⢣⠭⣢⣒⣬⣕⣄⣝⡻⢿⣿⣿
⣿⠟⡜⣎⢎⢇⢇⣵⣷⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠉⠛⢿⣦⢵⣷⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠋⠓⢲⡝⣿
⢏⢰⢱⣞⢜⢵⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠐⠄⠄⠄⠄⢹⣻⣿⣿⣿⠡⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠹⣺
⢕⢜⢕⢕⢵⠹⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠸⠗⣀⠄⠄⣼⣻⣿⣿⣿⡀⢾⠆⣀⠄⠄⣰⢳
⡕⣝⢜⡕⣕⢝⣜⢙⢿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣤⣥⣤⣾⢟⠸⢿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⣉⣤⡴⢫⣾
⡪⡪⣪⢪⢎⢮⢪⡪⡲⢬⢩⢩⢩⠩⢍⡪⢔⢆⢏⡒⠮⠭⡙⡙⠭⢝⣨⣶⣿⣿
⡪⡪⡎⡮⡪⡎⡮⡪⣪⢣⢳⢱⢪⢝⢜⢜⢕⢝⢜⢎⢧⢸⢱⡹⡍⡆⢿⣿⣿⣿
⡪⡺⡸⡪⡺⣸⠪⠚⡘⠊⠓⠕⢧⢳⢹⡸⣱⢹⡸⡱⡱⡕⡵⡱⡕⣝⠜⢿⣿⣿
⡪⡺⡸⡪⡺⢐⢪⢑⢈⢁⢋⢊⠆⠲⠰⠬⡨⡡⣁⣉⠨⡈⡌⢥⢱⠐⢕⣼⣿⣿
⡪⣪⢣⢫⠪⢢⢅⢥⢡⢅⢅⣑⡨⡑⠅⠕⠔⠔⠄⠤⢨⠠⡰⠠⡂⣎⣼⣿⣿⣿
⠪⣪⡪⡣⡫⡢⡣⡣⡣⡣⡣⣣⢪⡪⡣⡣⡲⣑⡒⡎⡖⢒⣢⣥⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⢁⢂⠲⠬⠩⣁⣙⢊⡓⠝⠎⠮⠮⠚⢎⡣⡳⠕⡉⣬⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⢐⠐⢌⠐⠅⡂⠄⠄⢌⢉⠩⠡⡉⠍⠄⢄⠢⡁⡢⠠⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿