[Copypasta] I saw 1.9293948382% of a girl's shoulders today

I saw 1.9293948382% of a girl's shoulders today. I immediately fell to my knees, as the rush of dopamine caused my the impending earth-shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen everyone in the immediate vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever have or ever will produce, shot out so hard that my dick was ripped apart by my ΓΌbernut accelerating to 5% the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. It vaporized the girl as it punched right through her, barely slowed, before cutting through a structural support beam in the school as if it were a nuclear-powered angle grinder. The sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path, caused the school to collapse, and every female in the state of New Jersey to fall pregnant with my children. When the final death toll was tallied, there were 146 deaths, 458 injuries, and over 4 million pregnancies. As I lay dying under the rubble of my high school, I rest easy, knowing every one of my sons will repeat my glorious actions.
August 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Young Sheldon is better than Rick and Morty

"Rick and Morty"? Only a plebeian worm such as yourself would engage in viewing broadcasts of such a sad and idiotic show. Unlike you low IQ apes, I please my optical sensors with only the finest of entertainment. I'll bet that you're inquiring as to what source of entertainment I am referring to. Although I don't expect you to comprehend it, the television show in question is "Young Sheldon". You see, the humor is vastly superior to that of "Rick and Morty". First of all "Rick and Morty" relies heavily on improvisional comedy, while the intellectual humor of "Young Sheldon" is scripted and well thought out before being presented to an audience. Second of all "Rick and Morty" is extremely unfaithful to its source material (Back to the Future, for you simpletons) while "Young Sheldon" is just as good if not better than watching "The Big Bang Theory". I could go on and on about how "Rick and Morty" is vastly inferior to "Young Sheldon" but I highly doubt that you have the mental capability to process such logic. So if you'll excuse me, I'm going to pour a glass of brandy whilst I redigest the latest episode of "Young Sheldon" so I can make an entry about it to the "Young Sheldon" wikia. Hopefully, I can forget about ever having the displeasure of interacting with you.*Sighs... How tedious.
December 2020

Rick and Morty

Hey guys a little bit sick today

twitchquotes: ResidentSleeper Hey guys a little bit sick today ResidentSleeper kinda tired cuz I didn't sleep well ResidentSleeper gonna be another short stream ResidentSleeper we're going to clear up some dallies on the free accounts first ResidentSleeper we'll do some arena later ResidentSleeper
twitch chat
October 2015
Kripp

Minecraft creeper head v2

βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ… βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ… βœ…βœ…β¬›β¬›β¬›βœ…βœ…β¬›β¬›β¬›βœ…βœ… βœ…βœ…β¬›β¬›β¬›βœ…βœ…β¬›β¬›β¬›βœ…βœ… βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…β¬›β¬›βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ… βœ…βœ…βœ…β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›βœ…βœ…βœ… βœ…βœ…βœ…β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›βœ…βœ…βœ… βœ…βœ…βœ…β¬›β¬›βœ…βœ…β¬›β¬›βœ…βœ…βœ… βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…βœ…
August 2021

Minecraft

This guy's hop is CRAZY

twitchquotes: This guy's hop is CRAZY OSFrog . My croak can't compete against a ribbit like that OSFrog . He lived in the correct swamp OSFrog . He needed precisely those two lily pads to beat me OSFrog . There were no flies I could catch OSFrog . He had the perfect tadpole OSFrog.
twitch chat
July 2015
Kripp

Send me nudes. Not your naked body

twitchquotes: Send me nudes. Not your naked body, not your bare skin. I want your nudes, your naked truths. Your secrets. Your lies. Your fears. The unfiltered thoughts you kept hidden for years. I won't judge. I'll listen. For your truths are real and that's who I want to know.
twitch chat
February 2019

Not your naked body

Text-to-Speech Playing