[Copypasta] I saw 1.9293948382% of a girl's shoulders today

I saw 1.9293948382% of a girl's shoulders today. I immediately fell to my knees, as the rush of dopamine caused my the impending earth-shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen everyone in the immediate vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever have or ever will produce, shot out so hard that my dick was ripped apart by my รผbernut accelerating to 5% the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. It vaporized the girl as it punched right through her, barely slowed, before cutting through a structural support beam in the school as if it were a nuclear-powered angle grinder. The sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path, caused the school to collapse, and every female in the state of New Jersey to fall pregnant with my children. When the final death toll was tallied, there were 146 deaths, 458 injuries, and over 4 million pregnancies. As I lay dying under the rubble of my high school, I rest easy, knowing every one of my sons will repeat my glorious actions.
August 2021
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I'm Tanner jr. btw!

twitchquotes: Hi Kripp, I just turned 5 years old! My dad says I'm pretty good at this game at that I should watch your stream to learn how not to play bad. He says he stole your high school girlfriend. Oh yeah, I'm Tanner Jr. btw! Nice to meet you!
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May 2019
Kripp

Tanner from High School

Entire screen goes gray ever 30 seconds

twitchquotes: Hey qtpie, you should check your video settings after this game, there seems to be an issue with the stream. The colors of the video fade and entire screen goes gray every 30 or so seconds
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August 2017
imaqtpie

League of Legends

time for u to stop using this copypasta

what time is it? 12 11 ^ 1 10 | 2 time for u 9 โŠ™โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”> to stop 8 4 using this 7 5 copypasta 6
January 2021

Classic

Ocean Man

twitchquotes: OCEAN MAN ๐ŸŒŠ ๐Ÿ˜ Take me by the hand โœ‹ lead me to the land that you understand ๐Ÿ™Œ ๐ŸŒŠ OCEAN MAN ๐ŸŒŠ ๐Ÿ˜ The voyage ๐Ÿšฒ to the corner of the ๐ŸŒŽ globe is a real trip ๐Ÿ‘Œ ๐ŸŒŠ OCEAN MAN ๐ŸŒŠ ๐Ÿ˜ The crust of a tan man ๐Ÿ‘ณ imbibed by the sand ๐Ÿ‘ Soaking up the ๐Ÿ’ฆ thirst of the land ๐Ÿ’ฏ
twitch chat
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Emoji Pasta

Don't install Talking Roby

When I was 8 years old, I was searching for apps that were like Talking Tom. I found one that was called โ€œTalking Roby The Robotโ€, I was curious so I downloaded it and installed it. I played it and I enjoyed every single second of it. I was a big fan of Roby. But when, it was 3 AM, my mom was sleeping so I now could use the phone without mom knowing, Tried the text to speech feature and typed the words โ€œsing like dickโ€. The robot said โ€œsing like dickโ€. I almost laughed too hard after seeing that. I recorded it and uploaded it to YouTube. after uploading it, I heard The Exorcist theme playing in the living room radio. I was shocked, I couldnโ€™t move, and then Roby himself came out of my closet and said โ€œsing like dickโ€. I was crying in fear, โ€œis this a nightmare?โ€ I asked. Roby said โ€œnoโ€. I was scared, this was real all along? And then Roby bled at me with hyper-realistic eyes and said: โ€œ666โ€. I was crying, and then he disappeared. My life has changed after that moment. Donโ€™t install Talking Roby.
February 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing