[Copypasta] I saw 1.9293948382% of a girl's shoulders today

I saw 1.9293948382% of a girl's shoulders today. I immediately fell to my knees, as the rush of dopamine caused my the impending earth-shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen everyone in the immediate vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever have or ever will produce, shot out so hard that my dick was ripped apart by my übernut accelerating to 5% the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. It vaporized the girl as it punched right through her, barely slowed, before cutting through a structural support beam in the school as if it were a nuclear-powered angle grinder. The sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path, caused the school to collapse, and every female in the state of New Jersey to fall pregnant with my children. When the final death toll was tallied, there were 146 deaths, 458 injuries, and over 4 million pregnancies. As I lay dying under the rubble of my high school, I rest easy, knowing every one of my sons will repeat my glorious actions.
August 2021
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Scary Pepega

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠪⡳⣶⣾⣿⣿⣶⠦⠤⠒⣶⣶⣤⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠪⡻⣿⣀⣶⣶⣶⡤⠬⠙⠛⠃⢤⣭⠖⣢⡀⢄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢚⢿⣿⣿⣯⠴⢛⣭⣽⣽⣕⡉⢜⣵⠾⢿⣿⣄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⢔⣦⣾⣿⣿⣟⢿⣿⡟⠄⠘⣿⣿⡞⣿⡀⢠⡽⣿⣷⡀ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣤⣮⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⡏⣿⠁ ⭕ ⣡⣿⣿⡿⠿ ⭕ ⠅ ⠄⠄⠄⣴⣽⣿⣿⠟⠫⠽⣿⣿⡿⢻⣧⠱⣙⠿⢿⠿⢿⢛⣥⡙⠥⠬⠅⣂⣤⡤ ⠄⢌⣾⣿⣿⡿⣱⠚⠻⣷⣝⢿⣿⣦⣭⣑⣂⣉⣭⣥⣶⣿⣿⣷⣄⣾⣿⠿⠋⢹ ⣜⣿⣿⣿⣿⢱⣿⠄⠸⣦⣭⠓⠪⠭⣛⣛⡿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣟⣛⣛⠭⢝⣢⠄⢧⢸ ⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⠄⠄⠻⠃⠄⢿⣷⡶⠄⣭⣭⡍⠩⣭⣭⡤⠄⠄⠻⣿⠄⠄⢸ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡸⣿⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠁⠄⠄⠹⠋⠄⠄⠙⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⡠⠎ ⢡⢿⣿⣿⣿⣧⢻⣧⠄⢠⣶⡀⠄⠄⡄⠄⠄⠄⣀⠄⠄⠄⢀⣄⠄⠄⢠⡿⠝⠄ ⠄⠩⢿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠻⣧⡙⢿⣿⠄⢰⣿⡄⠄⢀⣿⡄⠄⢀⣾⣿⡷⠄⡩⠊⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠑⢝⢿⣿⣿⣷⣬⣛⠳⢦⣤⣍⣙⣛⣀⣛⣛⣃⣀⡉⢍⠠⠔⠊⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠑⠫⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣬⣭⣭⣭⠭⠭⠙⠂⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
November 2019

Pepe

I don't geddit

Reddit should rename 'share' to 'spreddit', 'delete' to 'shreddit' and 'karma' to 'creddit'. Yet they haven't. I don't geddit.
August 2021

Reddit

James Patterson plays Druid

twitchquotes: The date is December 19th, 2018, at 630 am. James Patterson has just finished making his morning coffee. James Patterson hates his job, but looks forward each morning to playing ladder with the one deck he could afford to craft: Druid. On turn two, he attempts to drag Wild Growth onto the battlefield. He rubs his eyes, and to his horror sees that the card now costs 3 mana. With nothing left to live for, James Patterson opens his apartment window and buys a subaru.
twitch chat
December 2018

Hearthstone

I apologize, as my English is rather substandard

twitchquotes: I apologize, as my English is rather substandard At what whereabouts were you when the popular browser video game Club Penguin shut down? I was in mine place of residence, when my communications device informed me that someone wanted to contact me. "Club Penguin, the popular browser MMO has shut down." "I disagree"
twitch chat
January 2020

Fancy crown

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣾⣿⡤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⣤⣄⣰⣿⣿⣧⣀⣄⣤⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣆⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣞⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣯⣟⣶⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⠋⢸⣿⣿⣿⣆⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⠆⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⠀⢹⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣣⡀⠻⢿⣿⣿⣤⣠⣤⣴⣾⣿⣷⣄⣤⣠⣬⣿⣿⡿⠇⣠⣾⣾⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠚⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣿⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⣿⠿⠿⣻⣟⡛⢻⡛⢫⣽⡛⣿⡛⣻⣷⡻⣿⣿⡾⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⣿⣸⣯⣿⡿⠷⠾⠷⠾⠿⠶⠾⠶⠿⢿⣿⣿⣺⡷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⣴⠛⣻⣇⠀⠀⣠⣤⣄⠀⣠⣴⡶⠛⠛⠓⢶⣄⠀⣠⡶⠛⠛⠳⢶⣦⣀⠀⣤⣤⣄⠀⠀⣾⣛⠻⣆⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⠀ ⠀⠈⠈⠈⠙⣇⠀⠹⣦⠻⠟⠀⠘⣯⣿⣿⠾⣹⣏⣤⡀⣠⢤⣤⣹⣾⢯⣤⣤⣄⢀⣤⣻⡟⢷⣿⣯⣽⠀⠀⠻⢟⣼⠇⠀⡼⠋⠉⠁⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣦⣄⣈⣛⣛⣛⣿⡿⣿⣽⣷⣿⠿⢟⡇⣿⣈⣉⣱⣿⣌⣋⣁⡿⣾⡿⠿⣿⣾⡮⣿⣿⣟⣛⣛⣋⣁⣤⡾⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠉⠀⠙⠒⠛⠙⠛⠛⠁⠈⠉⠉⠁⠀⠈⠉⠉⠀⠈⠛⠛⠃⠛⠲⠋⠈⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠁⠀
June 2021
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