[Copypasta] I saw 1.9293948382% of a girl's shoulders today

I saw 1.9293948382% of a girl's shoulders today. I immediately fell to my knees, as the rush of dopamine caused my the impending earth-shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen everyone in the immediate vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever have or ever will produce, shot out so hard that my dick was ripped apart by my übernut accelerating to 5% the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. It vaporized the girl as it punched right through her, barely slowed, before cutting through a structural support beam in the school as if it were a nuclear-powered angle grinder. The sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path, caused the school to collapse, and every female in the state of New Jersey to fall pregnant with my children. When the final death toll was tallied, there were 146 deaths, 458 injuries, and over 4 million pregnancies. As I lay dying under the rubble of my high school, I rest easy, knowing every one of my sons will repeat my glorious actions.
August 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

DWG KIA logo

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣤⣾⣷⣤⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣴⣿⠟⢻⡇⢸⡟⠻⣿⣦⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣤⣾⡿⢿⣿⣿⠄⢸⡇⢸⡇⠄⣿⣿⡿⢿⣷⣤⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⠟⢻⡇⢠⣄⠈⣿⠄⢸⡇⢸⡇⠄⣿⠁⣠⡄⣸⡟⠻⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⠄⢸⡇⢸⣿⠄⣿⠄⢸⡇⢸⡇⠄⣿⠄⣿⠿⢻⡇⠄⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⠄⢸⡇⢸⣿⠄⣿⠄⢸⡇⢸⡇⠄⣿⠄⣿⡄⢸⡇⠄⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⠄⢸⡇⢸⡿⠄⣿⠄⢸⡇⢸⣧⠄⣿⠄⢿⡇⢸⡇⠄⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⠄⢸⣧⣄⣤⣶⣿⠄⣾⡇⢸⣿⠄⣿⣶⣤⣠⣼⡇⠄⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠙⠇⠸⠋⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⠉⡿⠛⢩⣶⠈⡿⢟⣩⠀⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢿⣦⣄⡈⠛⠿⣶⣾⣿⣶⣿⣶⣶⣿⣿⣾⠿⠛⢁⣠⣴⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠛⠿⣶⣤⡀⠉⠻⢿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠉⢀⣤⣶⡿⠛⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠙⠻⣷⣦⣄⠈⠁⣠⣴⣾⠟⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠛⢿⡿⠛⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
July 2021

QTPie's journal

twitchquotes: QTPies Journal; These streamers are afraid of me. I've seen their true face. Diamond 2 is an extended gutter and the gutter is full of trash. And when the drains finally scab over, all the vermin, like Dom and Jared will drown. The accumulated filth of all their missed flashes and low mechanic champions will foam up around their waists and all the annie mains and boosted monkeys will look up and shout "Save us!"... and I'll whisper "No."
twitch chat
April 2016
imaqtpie

Boosted Animal Jared

League of Legends

my friend is intellectually inferior for me for being christian

Ok, so today I was talking to my friend over text. I asked him what's his favorite anime but then he told me that he doesn't watch it and thinks it's boring. I was confused as to why he didn't watch anime. I told him about how much I like to watch anime "for the plot" but he didn't really show much interest. I then asked him if we could play Among Us later but then he said he has to go to church this afternoon. I never knew he was a Christian. I was asking him why he believed in God and he didn't reply so I told him he's intellectually inferior to me and that his parents indoctrinated him into believing in God. I was sending him scientific studies that show proof that atheists are more intellectually superior to people who believe in religion. I later found out that he was attending a funeral at the church.
December 2020

Team Liquid / TL

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⠀⠀⢰⣦⣤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⣤⡀⠀⠹⣿⣿⡆⠀⢸⣿⡿⢻⣿⣿⣶⣦⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠹⣿⣷⠀⠸⠋⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣤⡀⠀⠈⠻⢿⣿⣦⡀⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣷⣦⣄⡀⠙⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠉⠙⠛⠻⠿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠓⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢠⣤⣤⣤⣤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠸⠿⠿⠛⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣤⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿⣷⡀⢄⡈⠒⣨⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣷⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠀⣀⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⡷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠿⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
February 2019

Spamming aliens and octopuses

twitchquotes: Honestly, chat, you guys are so immature. Do you really think you can affect the outcome of the game by spamming aliens and octopuses? You're really degrading my twitch experience with your mindless crowd mentality. Please stop, or else...
twitch chat
September 2018

Rhyme Chant

Text-to-Speech Playing