[Copypasta] I saw 1.9293948382% of a girl's shoulders today

I saw 1.9293948382% of a girl's shoulders today. I immediately fell to my knees, as the rush of dopamine caused my the impending earth-shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen everyone in the immediate vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever have or ever will produce, shot out so hard that my dick was ripped apart by my ΓΌbernut accelerating to 5% the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. It vaporized the girl as it punched right through her, barely slowed, before cutting through a structural support beam in the school as if it were a nuclear-powered angle grinder. The sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path, caused the school to collapse, and every female in the state of New Jersey to fall pregnant with my children. When the final death toll was tallied, there were 146 deaths, 458 injuries, and over 4 million pregnancies. As I lay dying under the rubble of my high school, I rest easy, knowing every one of my sons will repeat my glorious actions.
August 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Saitama says OK

β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β£ β£Άβ‘Ύβ β ‰β ™β ³β’¦β‘€β €β €β €β’ β žβ ‰β ™β ²β‘€β € ⠀⠀⠀⣴⠿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⒳⑀⠀⑏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Ⓑ β €β €β’ β£Ÿβ£‹β‘€β’€β£€β£€β‘€β €β£€β‘€β£§β €β’Έβ €β €β €β €β € ⑇ β €β €β’Έβ£―β‘­β β Έβ£›β£Ÿβ †β‘΄β£»β‘²β£Ώβ €β£Έβ €β €OKβ € ⑇ β €β €β£Ÿβ£Ώβ‘­β €β €β €β €β €β’±β €β €β£Ώβ €β’Ήβ €β €β €β €β € ⑇ ⠀⠀⠙Ⓙ⣯⠄⠀⠀⠀⒀⑀⠀⠀⑿⠀⠀⑇⠀⠀⠀⠀⑼ β €β €β €β €β Ήβ£Άβ †β €β €β €β €β €β‘΄β ƒβ €β €β ˜β €β£„β£ β žβ € β €β €β €β €β €β’Έβ£·β‘¦β’€β‘€β’€β£žβ£β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € ⠀⠀⒀⣀⣴⣿⣏⠁⠀⠀⠸⣏⒯⣷⣖⣦⑀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ β’€β£Ύβ£½β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ ›β’²β£Άβ£Ύβ’‰β‘·β£Ώβ£Ώβ ΅β£Ώβ €β €β €β €β €β € ⣼⣿⠍⠉⣿⑭⠉⠙Ⓔ⣇⣼⑏⠀⠀⠀⣄Ⓒ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ β£Ώβ£Ώβ£§β£€β£Ώ.........β£€β£°β£β£˜β£†β£€β €β €
June 2019

Classic

This is the shittiest reply ever Overwatch version

twitchquotes: This is the shittiest reply ever. Overwatch requires camping, booping, stunning, sleeping, hacking, slamming, aimbotting and hitting shots. There are not β€œpositions” in Overwatch. A kickers job is LITERALLY to kick. Horrible analogy, kind of embarrassing.
twitch chat
December 2019

Intellectually demanding deck

twitchquotes: I scored 160 on the WAIS-IV many years back, at 4 standard deviations from the mean, or at the 99.997th percentile. My childhood IQ score on the SB-LM was 189. Is there a deck that is very intellectually demanding and has an extremely high skill cap that will test my intellect to the very most?
twitch chat
August 2016
Reynad

Hearthstone

I sexually identify as a priest player

twitchquotes: I sexually identify as a priest player. Everyday I dream about flying into ranked games and conceding to rank 25 players. Call me retarded. I don't care. I'm beautiful. I'm getting plastic surgery to get my minions silenced for 2 mana. You can now refer to me as Anduinn and respect my right to concede on turn 1. If you can't accept me you're a holy-phobe and need to check your concede privileges. Thank you for being so understanding.
twitch chat
August 2016

Hearthstone

I sexually Identify as

Pikachu

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–‘β–β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–Œβ–„β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–„β–„β–€β–€β–‘β–„β–‘β–€β–€β–„β–„β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–Œβ–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–€
November 2014

Pokemon

Text-to-Speech Playing