[Copypasta] I saw 1.9293948382% of a girl's shoulders today

I saw 1.9293948382% of a girl's shoulders today. I immediately fell to my knees, as the rush of dopamine caused my the impending earth-shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen everyone in the immediate vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever have or ever will produce, shot out so hard that my dick was ripped apart by my übernut accelerating to 5% the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. It vaporized the girl as it punched right through her, barely slowed, before cutting through a structural support beam in the school as if it were a nuclear-powered angle grinder. The sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path, caused the school to collapse, and every female in the state of New Jersey to fall pregnant with my children. When the final death toll was tallied, there were 146 deaths, 458 injuries, and over 4 million pregnancies. As I lay dying under the rubble of my high school, I rest easy, knowing every one of my sons will repeat my glorious actions.
August 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Imposter broke into my house!

So yesterday I was eating with my family when all of a sudden a “crew mate” broke in through the front door. He had a ski mask on and a gun which was sus, but he a good skin. My father told us all to hide so we don’t get killed by the obvious imposter. I could see him from my hiding spot under the table and he looked sus. So I told my dad “DAD YOU THINK HE IS THE IMPOSTER? HE IS SUS!” I yelled as loud as I could. The imposter found us hiding and shot my father five times. The imposter was so dumb, who kills someone in front of crew mates? I ran to call the emergency meeting by grabbing my phone off the table when I heard my mother get shot and scream for me. Lol she was so bad at among us. My teammates sucked and were dying to the worst Imposter. So I called the emergency meeting and for some reason a S.W.A.T team rammed down the door and killed the imposter. Lol that’s not how the game goes, I think they were hacking.
April 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Sodapoppin Tanner from Highschool

twitchquotes: So you're going by "Sodapoppin" now nerd? Haha whats up douche bag, it's Tanner from Highschool. Remember me? Me and the guys used to give you a hard time in school. Sorry you were just an easy target lol. I can see not much has changed. Remember Sarah the girl you had a crush on? Yeah we're married now. I make over 200k a year and drive a mustang GT. I guess some things never change huh loser? Nice catching up lol. Pathetic
twitch chat
November 2018
sodapoppin

Tanner from High School

A man was spotted coughing in his apartment in Lego city

A man was spotted coughing in his apartment in Wuhan city. Start the acetylene torch. HEY! Build the acetylene torch. Lock him up in his apartment. Weld the door shut. And censor the media. The new events that didn't happen from Wuhan city. (sets not available in China)
December 2020

Coronavirus

Lego City

COVID

Our arm of righteous spam will smite thee!

twitchquotes: ~~~~~~~[]=¤ԅ( ◔益◔ )ᕗ The longer you cage us, the harder our arm of righteous spam will smite thee! ~~~~~~~[]=¤ԅ( ◔益◔ )ᕗ
twitch chat
July 2015
Trick2g

plebs vs subs

Any fellers?

⢣⣈⣼⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⣀⡀⠄⠄⡀⠄⠄⠰⣶⣦⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢹⣿⣿ ⣜⣩⣽⣿⣿⣿⣭⣉⡛⠻⢷⣄⠈⢷⣦⣀⠘⠻⠷⡈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⣤⣲⠙⠂⣼⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⡇⣼⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⡉⢀⣀⣰⠟⠻⢮⣉⠛⠷⠄⢸⣿⣿⢣⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⣿⣿⡉⢰⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⢀⢀⠙⢷⣤⠄⢻⡿⠿⣸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣽⣿⢿⣿⣿⣧⣿⣿⣷⠄⣿⣇⣀⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠟⢻⣿⣷⣦⢰⣭⡻⣯⣈⡙⠰⣭⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡣⢃⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⡻⢤⣝⡻⢾⣿⡟⢻⣿⣿⣿⡿⡫⢣⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⡙⠻⢿⣧⣭⣀⣀⢁⣀⣾⣿⡿⢟⣵⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠈⠛⠿⠟⢿⣦⣌⣙⣻⣿⡿⣿⣿⠿⣋⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠛⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣴⢛⣛⠛⣿⡛⢛⠛⠛⣿⠛⢻⡟⢛⣿ ⣷⣦⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣤⣴⣿⣿⡟⢩⡽⢀⣿⠁⣼⡇⢰⣿⠄⣿⠇⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣿⣶⣿⣷⣾⣾⠶⠶⢀⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠏⢰⣦⣾⣿⣿⣷⠂⣸⣷⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡷⠄⣶⠏⠱⠆⣀⡟⢀⣿⡇⢸⡟⠁⠶⢀⣷⠄⣨⣤⡌⠐⠶⣦⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿⡄⠸⠿⣻⡃⠸⢿⠄⠼⣇⠘⠿⢟⡿⠄⣿⣿⠙⠷⠆⣸⣿⣿ ⡟⢛⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
September 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing