[Copypasta] I saw 1.9293948382% of a girl's shoulders today

I saw 1.9293948382% of a girl's shoulders today. I immediately fell to my knees, as the rush of dopamine caused my the impending earth-shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen everyone in the immediate vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever have or ever will produce, shot out so hard that my dick was ripped apart by my übernut accelerating to 5% the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. It vaporized the girl as it punched right through her, barely slowed, before cutting through a structural support beam in the school as if it were a nuclear-powered angle grinder. The sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path, caused the school to collapse, and every female in the state of New Jersey to fall pregnant with my children. When the final death toll was tallied, there were 146 deaths, 458 injuries, and over 4 million pregnancies. As I lay dying under the rubble of my high school, I rest easy, knowing every one of my sons will repeat my glorious actions.
August 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Feller on a farm

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⡿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⢿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡄⡇⠀⠀ KKona ⠀⠈⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣧⣇⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣶⣷⠀⠠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣀⠀⣠⣤⢀⣀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣿⣿⣿⣄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣀⠀⠀⠀ ⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⣿⣷⠀⠀ ⣸⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠛⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⡷⠀ ⠻⢿⣿⡏⠀⠀⣶⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣧⣀ ⠀⠀⢹⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⣉⡉⠉⠉⠉⠉⢙⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⠛⠓ ⠀⠈⠛⠛⠛⠓⠒⠚⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠋⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠟⠿⠷⠶⠶⠾⠿⢿⠿⠿⠿ Don't mind me, just a feller out on the farm making sure Wendy's gets the FRESHEST ingredients
April 2019
NairoMK

there I was, finalizing my reddit post

twitchquotes: there I was, finalizing my reddit post complaining about moonmoons RP, when I heard my mom call me for dinner. Chicken tendies, my favorite. Tonight was the night I was meeting her new boyfriend. I walked downstairs, ready to eat my tendies. I looked up at who was sitting at the table. It was HIM. Bald, small beady eyes, and smelled like cats. It was MoonMoon_OW. And he was fucking my mom. “Why would you do this to me?!” I screamed at my mother, and ran upstairs to make another reddit post
twitch chat
May 2019
MOONMOON

Hey Nairo this is your cat

twitchquotes: Hello @NairoMK , this is your cat, Mr. Fluffers, I heard that you were complaining about my excessive meowing. I don't complain about having to hear you talk to yourself for 8 hours while playing that stupid game so I expect the same. Come here and feed me scrub CoolCat
twitch chat
September 2018
NairoMK

"Unsponsored Hero Academy 2™ Stream

twitchquotes: It is the 2018 Oscars and Tom Hanks stands at the podium to announce Best Actor. “Boy,” he says, “we got a real competition this year! Johnny Depp, Leo DiCaprio, George Clooney, anyone could win!” The world holds its breath to see who will win the most prestigious acting award in the world. “Wow!” says Hanks. “I don’t believe it! The winner is Kripparrian in his ‘Unsponsored’ Hero Academy 2™ Stream!”
twitch chat
March 2018

ima firin mah lazer

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣯⣽⣿⣯⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣭⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⢻⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⡿⠛⠊⠉⠛⢿⣿⣼⣼⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⠏⢁⠈⠉⠉⠁⢀⣠⣀⡀⠀⠱⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⢸⢷⣶⣤⣶⠹⢇⣻⠏⠶⣄⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠛⠂⠐⠁⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣉⣦⠘⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠛⢁⣀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣍⠻⣿⣷⣷⣧⠘⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠛⠋⠉⢩⣥⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⢸⣿⡿⠿⣧⠸⣿ ⠋⣀⣤⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠘⠁⠀⠀⢀⡄⢹ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠅⠀⠀⠀⣾⠿⠀⣼ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣻⡫⠀⣸⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⢻⠿⠋⣀⠴⣥⣀⣠⣤⣄⣴⣷⠭⠀⣠⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢻⡿⠛⠉⣁⣠⠀⣠⣴⣿⡏⠐⢻⡻⣸⢯⣿⡽⠋⠀⣠⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠟⠛⡉⠀⢀⣠⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣶⣾⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
November 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing