I saw 1.9293948382% of a girl's shoulders today. I immediately fell to my knees, as the rush of dopamine caused my the impending earth-shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen everyone in the immediate vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever have or ever will produce, shot out so hard that my dick was ripped apart by my รผbernut accelerating to 5% the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. It vaporized the girl as it punched right through her, barely slowed, before cutting through a structural support beam in the school as if it were a nuclear-powered angle grinder. The sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path, caused the school to collapse, and every female in the state of New Jersey to fall pregnant with my children. When the final death toll was tallied, there were 146 deaths, 458 injuries, and over 4 million pregnancies. As I lay dying under the rubble of my high school, I rest easy, knowing every one of my sons will repeat my glorious actions.
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Statue for Hitler's assassin
Has anyone noticed this bullshit? It's honestly unfair how people like Churchill and Roosevelt got honoured for their leadership during WW2, but once you mention that Hitler's assassin should get honored as well, everybody fucking gets mad and starts calling you names. I cannot believe that people haven't honored Adolf in any way, shape or form for killing Hitler! I think one way we should honor Adolf is by building a giant statue of him in Berlin, the place where he killed Hitler by shooting him in the head, but the goddamn liberals aren't letting us do that! Instead, they claim that Adolf was "evil" and "a dictator", like bitch that's Hitler not Adolf you're mixing them up retard...
what do you say when you come? murk durgle
About 5 years ago I was making a character on an RPG and my ex girlfriend was sitting next to me talking to me and asking me questions about my game. I had a dwarf and dreamed up the name Murk Durgle. My ex hated that name and said it felt gross, like the word moist.
I shrugged it off. We went about our day and after putting the kids to bed we started having sex. She tells me she's about to come and I bellow out "MUUUURRRKKKK DUUUURGLE" and she punches me in the chest and yelled at me "what the fuck dude?! You fucking murk durgled me?! Give me my vibrator and get the fuck out"
Then I sat out in the kitchen laughing for a few minutes
My son can be homer sexual
twitchquotes:
My son ๐ฆ๐ป can be homer sexual ๐ณ๏ธโ๐ My daughter ๐ง๐ป can be lebanese ๐ญ But I will NEVER โผ๏ธ Raise a child ๐ถ๐ป who likes Jake and Logan Paul ๐
๐ปโ
twitch chat
Would you like to get rich by running your own business
Hey๐ ladies๐โโ๏ธ ๐ท Would ๐ you ๐ like ๐ to 2๏ธโฃ get ๐ฎ rich ๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ฐ by running ๐โโ๏ธ๐โโ๏ธ your ๐ own business ๐ฉโ๐ผ๐ผ from home ๐ก with just 
your phone? ๐ฑ๐คณ Well ๐คทโโ๏ธ you can't. ๐ Get ๐ a ๐ real ๐ job ๐ you ๐ stupid ๐ cunt
your phone? ๐ฑ๐คณ Well ๐คทโโ๏ธ you can't. ๐ Get ๐ a ๐ real ๐ job ๐ you ๐ stupid ๐ cunt
Emoji Pasta
WOW kid you just got r/WOOOOOOSHED
WOW kid you just got r/WOOOOOOSHED!!!! ๐๐๐
"Wooosh" means you didn't get the joke, as in the sound made when the joke "woooshes" over your head. I bet you're too stupid to get it, IDIOT!! ๐ค๐ค๐
His joke was so thoughtfully crafted and took him a total of like 3 minutes, you SHOULD be laughing. ๐คฌ What's that? His joke is bad? I think that's just because you failed. He outsmarted you, nitwit.๐คญ
In conclusion, I am posting this to the community known as "R/Wooooosh" to claim my internet points in your embarrassment ๐. Imbecile. The Germans refer to this action as "Schadenfreude," which means "harm-joy" ๐ฌ๐ฒ. WOW! ๐คช Another reference I had to explain to you. ๐คฆโโ๏ธ๐คญ I am going to cease this conversation for I do not converse with simple minded persons.๐๐