[Copypasta] I saw 1.9293948382% of a girl's shoulders today

I saw 1.9293948382% of a girl's shoulders today. I immediately fell to my knees, as the rush of dopamine caused my the impending earth-shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen everyone in the immediate vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever have or ever will produce, shot out so hard that my dick was ripped apart by my ΓΌbernut accelerating to 5% the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. It vaporized the girl as it punched right through her, barely slowed, before cutting through a structural support beam in the school as if it were a nuclear-powered angle grinder. The sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path, caused the school to collapse, and every female in the state of New Jersey to fall pregnant with my children. When the final death toll was tallied, there were 146 deaths, 458 injuries, and over 4 million pregnancies. As I lay dying under the rubble of my high school, I rest easy, knowing every one of my sons will repeat my glorious actions.
August 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Hey, vsauce, Micheal here! Why is my peepee hard? Or is it?

Hey, vsauce, Micheal here! Why is my peepee hard? Or is it? Well, ya see, we need to start with the peepee itself. The hardening of the peepee is called an erection. Erection. The term itself shares a similarity with our own predecessors, Homo Erectus. That's Latin for Gay Straight. So, naturally, we can start to fill in the picture. Our predecessors, Gay Straights, also had hard peepees. Which brings us back to modern day erections. You see, an erection is a signal to tell you that you are gay, a leftover device from the era of Gay Straights. But what is "gay"? To quote Nelson Mandela, "To be gay is not to love others. It is to love yourself and to stay true in the face of many hardships and hard dicks." In Layman's terms, Nelson Mandela is trying to tell us to go fuck ourselves. This is vital to know because it puts into perspective the absolute size of gayness itself, divided into unique homogenous subgroups. Such a diverse range is exactly why the flag of LGBTQBBQ communities is a rainbow. But, you ask, how does this tie in to what gay Is? I'm getting there. Gay is a slang term for homosexual, which is to have sexual interest in someone of the same gender as yourself. To see more on the topic of gender, click the annotation on my face now for a playlist of videos specifically on the subject. So, to answer your question, your peepee is hard because you're gay. Hopefully today's little snippet was a good brain train for you. If you'd like to find other fun ways to test your mind mettle, click the annotation up here to go see some of my huge DONGs. And, as always, thanks for watching.
August 2021

NA WHY SO QUIET?

twitchquotes: LUL NA WHY SO QUIET? LUL NA WHY SO QUIET? LUL NA WHY SO QUIET? LUL NA WHY SO QUIET? LUL NA WHY SO QUIET? LUL NA WHY SO QUIET? LUL
twitch chat
November 2018

EU vs NA

EU is a 3rd world country

twitchquotes: Kripp pls make up with papa so u can go to the doctors, you cannot get help in a 3rd world country AKA the EU pls come back to NA where we have doctors
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Among Us player was ejected

twitchquotes: .  。    ‒  γ€€οΎŸγ€€γ€€γ€‚ γ€€γ€€.γ€€γ€€γ€€.γ€€γ€€γ€€ γ€€γ€€.     。   。 . γ€€.γ€€γ€€ 。  ࢞ 。  . β€’ . [Enter name] was ejected. . . γ€€ 。 . γ€€ γ€€γ€€γ€‚γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€οΎŸγ€€γ€€γ€€.γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€. ,γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€.γ€€ .γ€€γ€€ .
twitch chat
September 2020

Among Us / Amogus

IF YOU TOUCH THE BUG, PROGRAM HEARTHSTONE

twitchquotes: BUG TEST πŸ› IF YOU TOUCH THE BUG, PROGRAM HEARTHSTONE ⎝ Jebaited
twitch chat
June 2017

Hearthstone

Chat Test

Text-to-Speech Playing