[Copypasta] I saw 1.9293948382% of a girl's shoulders today

I saw 1.9293948382% of a girl's shoulders today. I immediately fell to my knees, as the rush of dopamine caused my the impending earth-shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen everyone in the immediate vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever have or ever will produce, shot out so hard that my dick was ripped apart by my ΓΌbernut accelerating to 5% the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. It vaporized the girl as it punched right through her, barely slowed, before cutting through a structural support beam in the school as if it were a nuclear-powered angle grinder. The sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path, caused the school to collapse, and every female in the state of New Jersey to fall pregnant with my children. When the final death toll was tallied, there were 146 deaths, 458 injuries, and over 4 million pregnancies. As I lay dying under the rubble of my high school, I rest easy, knowing every one of my sons will repeat my glorious actions.
August 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

SKROINK!

twitchquotes: [ α•€ ΰ²  (oo) ΰ²  ]α•€ ︡┻━┻ SKROINK! [ α•€ ΰ²  (oo) ΰ²  ]α•€ ︡┻━┻
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

I have a REAL and GENUINE relationship with my streamers

twitchquotes: OMG this guy is so wrong. As a longtime sub and donator, I have a REAL and GENUINE relationship with my streamers. When I send them donos they thank me personally on stream so I'm pretty sure they know who I am haha
twitch chat
June 2020

Simps

SPAM THIS CHILI TO HELP OUT PHILLY

twitchquotes: 🌢️ SPAM 🌢️ THIS 🌢️ CHILI 🌢️ TO 🌢️ HELP 🌢️ OUT 🌢️ PHILLY 🌢️
twitch chat
July 2018
OverwatchLeague

Classic

Rhyme Chant

Overwatch

Spiderman Logo

β”€β”€β”€β”€β–β”€β”€β–Œβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–β”€β”€β–Œβ”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β–β–Œβ”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β–β–Œβ”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ”€β”€β–€β–€β–„β–Œβ–„β–β–„β–€β–€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–„β”€β”€ β”€β–β–ˆβ”€β–„β–ˆβ–€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–€β–ˆβ–„β”€β–ˆβ–Œβ”€ β”€β”€β–€β–€β”€β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β”€β–€β–€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–€β”€β–„β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–„β”€β–€β–ˆβ–„β”€β”€β”€ β”€β–„β–ˆβ”€β”€β–„β–€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β–€β–„β”€β”€β–ˆβ–„β”€ β–β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–β–ˆβ–Œβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–Œ β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€ β”€β–€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–€β”€ β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β–Œβ”€β”€β”€β–Œβ”€β”€β”€β–β”€β”€β”€β–β”€β”€β”€β”€
September 2021

Salt mines are now Greece's #1 export

twitchquotes: Hello Mr. Kripp, on behalf of the entire Greek country, I would like to thank you for single handedly restoring our economy with your endless supplies of salt. Salt mines are now Greece's #1 export. Most excellent, all hail Kripperino!
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing