[Copypasta] I saw 1.9293948382% of a girl's shoulders today

Cathie Wood owns 100% of palantir and 110% of Tesla

December 2021. Cathie Wood owns 100% of palantir and 110% of Tesla (Elon Musk invented a more efficient form of security). ARK ETFs are trading at minimum $1,000 a share and investors are signing 10-year pledges just for the privilege. I log on to my Tesla taxi app and order a car. A vintage Roadster pulls up with EDM playing at a tasteful volume. "Where to, King?" asks the anime girl on the console. "You know where", I reply. Palantir knows. We both laugh and the car takes off to Wendys.

March 2021

WallStreetBets

Sylvester the Cat

──────────────────────▐▒█─────██──────── ─────────────────────▐▓─█──▐─▄███─────── ─────────────────────▐──███████▌──────── ─────────────────────▐─███████─█▌─────── ─────────────────────▐█████████▌──────── ─────────────────────██░░██████▌──────── ────────────█▀▀▀▀█──██░░░███░▐█───────── ──────────█▀▀█───▀▀███░░▐██░░██───────── ─────────█▀─────────██░░███░░█▌──▄────── ────────██────▀▀██───▀▀▀▀██░▐▌▀▀▀▀▀▀█▄── ───────██────────██▄████▄▀▀▀▀───────▀█▌─ ───────█─────────▐▀████████▄──────────█─ ───────█▄────────▐─███████████▀▀▀▀▄───▀▌ ─────▄▄─█▄───────▐─▀█████████▀▌───▌────█ ────██─█─█▄──▄▄──▐▄─▀███████▀─▌────────█ ────█──█──▀▀▀▀█▄──█▄──▀▀▀▀▀──██────────█ ───▐█──█▄──────▀██─▀▀▀▄▄▄─▄█▀▀▄────────█ ──▐▓██─█─────────▀█─────▀▀▀▄█▀▀█▄▄─────█ ─▐█──█─█▌─────────▀█─────██▀────▀▀█▄─█─█ ▄▀▀─▒▀█▓█▌─────────█────██─────────▀▀███ ▐──▒▀───▀█─────────█───██─────────────█─ ▐─▓▓─────▓▌───────▐█───██▄▄───────────── ▐─██────▄█▌──────▐█▌──██████▌─────────── ─▀█▀▀▀─▄█▌──────▐█▌──▒███████▌────────── ──▐───▄▌───────▐█▌───█████████▌───────── ──▐▄─██▌──────▐█▌────██████████───────── ───████──────██▌─█──▒███████████──────── ───████▒──▐████─▓▓──████████████▌─────── ───███████████▌─────█████████████─────── ───███████████──────█████▒███████▌────── ───██████████▌──────▒████▒─███████▌───── ───▓█████████────────█████──███████───── ────████████▌────────██████──██████───── ─────██▒───█─────────██████──██████▌──── ──────────▐▌──────────██████──█████▌──── ──────────█───────────███████─█████▌──── ─────────▐▌────────────████████████▌──── ─────────█▌────────────████──▓█████───── ─────────█──────────────██───────██───── ─────────█─────────────▐██▓█──────▌───── ────────▐▌─────────────█──▒▓──────█───── ────────▐▌────────────▐▓──────────█───── ─────────█─────────────█────▒────▓▌───── ─────────█▌────────────▐▓██████▓██▌───── ─────────██──────────────█████████────── ─────────██▒────────────██████████▌───── ─────────████──────────████████████───── ─────────█████▒───────█████████████───── ─────────████████▒─▒████████████████──── ─────────███████████████████████████▌─── ─────────████████████████████████████─── ──────────██████████████████████─████▌── ──────────▐▒███████████████████───████── ─────▐▀▀▀▀▒─█████████████████──────███▌─ ───▐██────▀▀▀███████████████──▄▄▄▄─▐██▌─ ──▐▀──▓───────────▀████▀────▀▀▀──▀█─▐██▌ ──█──█──────────────▒─────────────▌──██▌ ──███─────────────▄▄█▄────────────▌──▐█▌ ───▐███───────▄▀▀▀▀──▐▄▄▄────────▄█▌──█▌ ──────▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀─────────▐▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀██▀───▐▌

ascii art

September 2021

The Battle of Gamestop rages on.

The Battle of Gamestop rages on. Pre-market we could hear the bears in no-man’s land, baiting us towards higher prices so the shorts could do their dirty work. I was stationed at the 13.80 line, and knew the morning was going to be hot. I shoveled a breakfast of tendies and said a quick prayer to Father Cohen. When the bell rang, the bears surged into our trenches. Blood and rainbow fur filled the air and littered the ground. The Diamond Division has seen worse days, and we held firm. As the bears retreated we gave chase to retake ground we’d lost in the past week. As I caught my breath near the 14.50, I could see bodies everywhere; paper hands who had fallen in earlier battles. One of them groaned and reached a hand towards me. I spat on him and kept moving. No honor in retreat, and no sympathy for self-inflicted wounds. This war won’t be won in a day, but it will be won. Tell my wife’s boyfriend to tell her I love her.

December 2020

WallStreetBets

Ben Shapiro Olive Garden breadsticks

Let’s say that, hypothetically, you really did have unlimited breadsticks. Now, since they are unlimited, that means that you will never run out. However, on Earth there is a limited supply of the materials required to make breadsticks. Thus, if I were to attempt to eat as many breadsticks as possible, I would not be able to as eventually you would sell out, am I correct? Now that we have established that there are infinite breadsticks but finite supplies to make them, would it not be reasonable to conclude that you are either breaking the laws of physics, or are lying to me? And since one cannot break the laws of physics, logically you must be lying to me. Facts don’t care about your feelings liberals, you have committed the crime of false advertising and must give me free food or I will inform the authorities.

September 2020

Ben Shapiro

Ban one American, get the whole McDonald's

twitchquotes: OpieOP

ban

one

american

and

you

get

the

whole

mcdonalds

twitch chat

April 2017

[Copypasta] I saw 1.9293948382% of a girl's shoulders today

Cathie Wood owns 100% of palantir and 110% of Tesla

WallStreetBets

Sylvester the Cat

The Battle of Gamestop rages on.

WallStreetBets

Ben Shapiro Olive Garden breadsticks

Ben Shapiro

Ban one American, get the whole McDonald's

MODS

Ban X Get The Whole Y

EU vs NA

[Copypasta] I saw 1.9293948382% of a girl's shoulders today

Cathie Wood owns 100% of palantir and 110% of Tesla

WallStreetBets

Sylvester the Cat

The Battle of Gamestop rages on.

WallStreetBets

Ben Shapiro Olive Garden breadsticks

Ben Shapiro

Ban one American, get the whole McDonald's

MODS

Ban X Get The Whole Y

EU vs NA

Confirm Subscription