I saw 1.9293948382% of a girl's shoulders today. I immediately fell to my knees, as the rush of dopamine caused my the impending earth-shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen everyone in the immediate vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever have or ever will produce, shot out so hard that my dick was ripped apart by my übernut accelerating to 5% the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. It vaporized the girl as it punched right through her, barely slowed, before cutting through a structural support beam in the school as if it were a nuclear-powered angle grinder. The sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path, caused the school to collapse, and every female in the state of New Jersey to fall pregnant with my children. When the final death toll was tallied, there were 146 deaths, 458 injuries, and over 4 million pregnancies. As I lay dying under the rubble of my high school, I rest easy, knowing every one of my sons will repeat my glorious actions.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Avoid embarrasing incidents
twitchquotes:
Hey chat, take it easy please. Sometimes I see the same message posted twice. Take your time to actually read chat to avoid embarrassing incidents like this. Thank you. 
twitch chat
Classic
I Cri Evrytiem (Like This If You Cry Everytime)
Wun day, a boi n a gurl wer walkin w skool. Dey wer holdin handz and redy 2 seluhbrayt der 2 hour aniverssaree.
Da gurl turnt 2 da boi n say "bbz, do u luv me 4ever?!"
Da boi turnt 2 her n say "NO!"
Da gurl wuz <3brokn n run away frum da boi. She run in2 da street n got hit by a car.
Da boi run ovur 2 da gurl n hold her az she dyieng
"I wuz gonna say, I luv u 5ever"
Da boy den pull out hiz gat n shoot himself ded.
As his bodee hit da assfalt, a bawks rolled of his poccet. A bootyful dimund ring wuz nside.
Liek dis if u cry evrytiem
We are sending you to India to marry your beautiful cousin
twitchquotes:
Hello Michael, this is your mother. I write here to inform you that your father and I do not approve of your timewaste playing childrens game for the internet. Therefor we are sending you to India to marry your beautiful cousin Venkatanarasimharajuvaripeta and work as a train conductor..
twitch chat
imaqtpie
Please stop hoarding Hearthstone dust
twitchquotes:
༼ ºل͟º ༽ Well Met Kripp, this is Doctorino Dongerino. I urge you: pls stop hoarding Hearthstone dust. Breathing in all that dust will cause your lungs to RIP in pepperonis. Pls copypasta to save Kripp life ༼ ºل͟º ༽
twitch chat
Kripp
