[Copypasta] I saw 1.9293948382% of a girl's shoulders today

I saw 1.9293948382% of a girl's shoulders today. I immediately fell to my knees, as the rush of dopamine caused my the impending earth-shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen everyone in the immediate vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever have or ever will produce, shot out so hard that my dick was ripped apart by my รผbernut accelerating to 5% the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. It vaporized the girl as it punched right through her, barely slowed, before cutting through a structural support beam in the school as if it were a nuclear-powered angle grinder. The sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path, caused the school to collapse, and every female in the state of New Jersey to fall pregnant with my children. When the final death toll was tallied, there were 146 deaths, 458 injuries, and over 4 million pregnancies. As I lay dying under the rubble of my high school, I rest easy, knowing every one of my sons will repeat my glorious actions.
August 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
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As I approached the Kripp with my bulging juiced up biceps

twitchquotes: As I approached the Kripp with my bulging juiced up biceps, I heard a snicker. "Soda is healthier than milk, dude" says the Kripp. With one look at him I can already tell the only thing he lifts is card packs. Just as I'm about to punch him, he top decks Big Game Hunter and I am shot dead. "Who's juiced now?" smirks the Kripp.
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November 2015
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This is probably the worst thing I've ever seen

This is probably the worst thing I've ever seen. 100 years from now when I'm dying on a hospital bed and I'm asked what my biggest regret was it will be that I turned on my internet and scrolled through the internet on that fateful day... I will never be able to recover from this. No amount of therapy will save me. No amount of prescription pills will let me recover. I am a shell. This memory is so bad my brain is physically rejecting it and now I have a headache every time I think about it. Why did you post this, thinking it was a good idea? You've permanently ruined my life because of this, I hope you're happy. I hope that one day this gets branded as a war crime and you get hauled off to prison, never to see the light of day again. The fact that you're already not in a psych ward for insanity is so baffling I have lost all faith in every kind of justice system. If you subscribe to any religion, you'd best spend the rest of your time atoning for this ultimate sin. Have a terrible day, I hope this creation of yours haunts you in your dreams.
January 2021

Classic

RNGesus who art in Hearthstone

twitchquotes: RNGesus who art in Hearthstone, Random be thy game. Thy random come, Thy turn be done, on Azeroth as it is in Hearthstone. Give us this day our daily quest, and forgive us our misplays, as we forgive those who queue as hunter and lead us not into fatigue but deliver us from zero. For thine is the random, and the mulligan, and the topdeck, always yet never, Ameno.๏ปฟ
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May 2016
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what happens when you give t1 viagra?

twitchquotes: what happens when you give t1 viagra? he grows taller
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March 2018
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DONALD TRUMP NUDES

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October 2020
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