[Copypasta] I saw 1.9293948382% of a girl's shoulders today

I saw 1.9293948382% of a girl's shoulders today. I immediately fell to my knees, as the rush of dopamine caused my the impending earth-shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen everyone in the immediate vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever have or ever will produce, shot out so hard that my dick was ripped apart by my übernut accelerating to 5% the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. It vaporized the girl as it punched right through her, barely slowed, before cutting through a structural support beam in the school as if it were a nuclear-powered angle grinder. The sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path, caused the school to collapse, and every female in the state of New Jersey to fall pregnant with my children. When the final death toll was tallied, there were 146 deaths, 458 injuries, and over 4 million pregnancies. As I lay dying under the rubble of my high school, I rest easy, knowing every one of my sons will repeat my glorious actions.
August 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
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Undertale Annoying Dog

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March 2016

PogChamp

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣀⣄⣶⡶⣦⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⡦⡟⠻⠛⠙⠉⠈⠄⠄⠈⠻⠛⣾⣦⣤⣀⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣰⡿⠟⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⠋⠽⢿⣧⠄ ⠄⢀⣴⠞⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢼⠆⠄ ⠄⣼⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣠⣤⣶⣿⣶⣦⣤⣀⠄⣻⡃⠄ ⠄⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⢸⣧⠄ ⠄⢿⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣾⣿⣿⣋⣩⣭⣝⣿⣿⠛⢰⡇⠄ ⠄⢸⡇⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣟⣯⠉⢉⣿⠋⣟⢻⡇⠄ ⠄⠄⢹⡀⢳⡗⠂⣠⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣭⣽⣿⣿⣿⣉⣸⠇⠄ ⠄⠄⠈⣷⠄⢳⣷⣿⠄⠄⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠘⣧⠄⠈⠙⠄⠄⠄⠉⠙⠛⠛⣿⣿⣷⣤⣄⢿⡿⠃⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠳⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⢢⣦⣾⣿⠿⠿⠛⠉⢉⣽⠇⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⠿⣄⢀⠄⣀⣝⢻⣿⡿⠒⣀⣀⣸⠁⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠳⣤⠁⠙⠎⢻⣄⠄⠄⣸⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠙⠶⢦⣄⣀⣣⠴⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
February 2020

I sexually Identify as going second

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as going second. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of being at a mana disadvantage for ten turns. People say to me that a winning when going second is Impossible and I’m *** retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon install four cards in my opening hand as well as the coin on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me “UNKNOWN” and respect my right to instantly lose the majority of games. If you can’t accept me you’re a turn-twophobe
twitch chat
December 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

I sexually Identify as

Clash Royale chicken emote

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November 2021

Clash Royale

A reply to 'k'

K? K what? The letter before L? The letter after J? Did you know that in JK the K stands for “kidding?” So your reply is “kidding?” or K as in Potassium? Do you need some Special K for breakfast? K as in I can K/O you? Can I knock you out and feed you to hungry sharks? Sharks have a K in it. "K"? Are you fucking kidding me? I spent a decent portion of my life writing all of that and your response to me is "K"? Are you so mentally handicapped that the only letter you can comprehend is "K" - or are you just some fucking asshole who thinks that with such a short response, he can make a statement about how meaningless what was written was? Well, I'll have you know that what I wrote was NOT meaningless, in fact, I even had my written work proof-read by several professors of literature. Don't believe me? I doubt you would, and your response to this will probably be "K" once again. Do I give a fuck? No, does it look like I give even the slightest fuck about a single letter? I bet you took the time to type that one letter too, I bet you sat there and chuckled to yourself for 20 hearty seconds before pressing "send". You're so fucking pathetic. I'm honestly considering directing you to a psychiatrist, but I'm simply far too nice to do something like that. You, however, will go out of your way to make a fool out of someone by responding to a well-thought-out, intelligent, or humorous statement that probably took longer to write than you can last in bed with a chimpanzee. What do I have to say to you? Absolutely nothing. I couldn't be bothered to respond to such a worthless attempt at a response. Do you want "K" on your gravestone? Do you want people to remember you as the asshat who one day decided to respond to someone with a single letter? "Hey, look, everybody! It's that "K" guy!" That's who you are. You're going to be known as the "K" guy. How does it feel? Do you feel happy? Quite honestly, I don't care, which is why I'm not even going to respond to you. Goodbye, and good luck with your future as that guy who said "K".
April 2021
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