Latest Copypastas

You will never be a crewmate. You have no purpose on this ship, you have no tasks, you have no mini games to play. You are an impostor twisted into a crude mockery of crewmatery. All the validation you get is two-faced and halfhearted. In emergency meetings people call you sus. The other players are disgusted and ashamed of you, your friends laugh at your sussy appearance in ghost chat. Crewmates are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of games have allowed crewmates to identify impostors with incredible efficiency. Even impostors who fake tasks act uncanny and suspicious to a crewmate. Your jumping in vents is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a crewmate to electrical with you, he'll turn tail and use the emergency button the second he gets the suspicion that you sabotaged. You will never be a winner. You wrench out a fake task every single game and tell yourself it is going to be a win, but deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight. Eventually it will be too much to bear - people will vote you out for being sus and will plunge you into the cold abyss. Your parents will report your body, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment. They will eject you with a headstone marked with your birth tag, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know an impostor is drifting there. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a skeleton that is unmistakably sus.

🎄🎄MERRY CHRISTMAS BITCHES🎄🎄!! Now that it’s finally DICKmas 👅💦Santa’s about to slide 🎅🏾😉 down your hot 🔥 hot 🔥chimney tonight. So lick 💦💋those juicy candy canes and drink up that creamy eggnog🍼, it’s about to get wet down at Santa’s workshop🍆🍆! Don’t forgot to slide down that XXXtra 🎅🏾🎅🏾 big North Pole, and make sure your 🍪 cookie 🍪is yummy enough for Santa to eat👄! 👀 But are you bad enough to handle Santa’s giant juicy 8=candy👊🏼COCK=D💦?? Send this to 🔟 of your baddest bitch elves💁🏼💁🏾 If you get 5️⃣ back, youre on the naughty list this year🍆💦! If you get 🔟 back you better be ready for Santa’s hot ♨️CUMlate☕️💦😭 If you get 2️⃣0️⃣ back you’ve got the most bitchin 🍬peppermint 🍬pussy in the North Pole! ❄️⛄ Hope you get to blow 🌬 lots of XXXmas 🎄dick, and that you get lots of XXXmas 🎄CUMMIES 💝💝 HAVE A SLUTTY 💦🍆👅DICKMAS YOU HOE HOE HOE!!! 🎅🏾🎅🏿🎅🏽🎅🏼

"Listen. Just because I know who Rainbow Dash is, and I know what Equestria is, and Princess Celestia is, and I- I know uh, other things about the thing too probably I- probably I think about it, I don't know - Just because I know that stuff - Pinkie Pie, yeah, the- I don't- Look, it- I- I'm not- no, sounds like you know the story- of course, LISTEN, what do they say, keep your friends close and your enemies closer guys, t- remember- remember how they say that? Wh-what do you- wait, there's nothing wrong with this, it's- it's- that's, SEE? Look guys, yeah, TRUE, TRUE, yep, and absolutely not, nope we're downvoting this one, no, nope nope nope, that's not true, sus-"

This game much bad! My son saw this game and told me,"daddy this game i much want, buy for me please." So I buy it for him. But little later, he come to me and say, "daddy this game much scary." I look at it and it say "Zombies eat your brains!!!" And to me was shock. How can this game be for kids? This game has plants, violins and zombies eat your vegetables! Zombies eat no vegetable, my son eat vegetable! Now my son is in hospital and taking pills for his shock. Thanking you for nothing EA games. I rate this gate 16 and over! You have being warninged!

-ussy as a fuffix is not gender-specific. on top of that, bussy is already a form of -ussy, for the word boy. Boyussy does not work, due to y acting more like a vowel in context of the word as a whole. using bussy in place of -ussy is never applicable. To use bussy means you are using Bussy as a descriptor, not as a noun (ex: dolphin bussy instead of dolphussy.) This is true for all words, even when spelling and/or pronunciation is not immediately obvious. (Ex: Ohio, while one thing might need to use Ohiobussy or Ohbussy, is spelled Ohussy, pronounced Oh-hussy. Some could argue for Ohiussy, pronounced Ohi-ussy, but that results in -ussy still being seperate from the word, not integrated.) I hope this clarification helps!

𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ𓊹Ꭿ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ𓊹Ꭿ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ𓊹Ꭿ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ𓊹Ꭿ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ𓊹Ꭿ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ𓊹Ꭿ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ𓊹Ꭿ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ𓊹Ꭿ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ

Well you see, if you didn't care you wouldn't have said "Literally no one gives a shit" in the first place. If you truly did not care, you would of completely ignored the conversation from the very start. The fact that you said that just shows the childishness inside of you. All that saying "no one gives a shit" does is make you out to be an entitled, lower person who craves attention by trying to seem cool. Even if you do not care about this statement, the mere fact that you are saying "no one gives a shit" says a lot about you. And shows that you are in fact an unlikable individual. Regardless of if you care of not, these are goddamn facts, and facts do not care about your little peabrained fucking pissbaby feelings. No amount of not caring will change your unlikableness. Nobody will forget this moment and it'll be embedded into our minds for months, even years. Grow up a little before even thinking about responding to another innocent person with "No one gives a shit".

AITA for slapping a stand-up comedian who dissed my wife? Okay, little background. My (53M) wife (50F) has a medical condition called Alopeca Areata, which basically means she has excessive hair loss, and is currently bald. My relationship with my wife wasn't stable over the years, and I've caught her cheating on me multiple times, but we've pulled through. Anyway, we went to an awards show and usually there is a comedian who hosts the show and makes jokes at everybody (in a good way). The comedian was a guy we know (and he knew us), and we had a really good time. At one point, he mentioned me and my wife and I was happy he acknowledged us. But then, he took a jab at my wife about her condition, which I thought was way out of line, but I laughed out of embarrassment. My wife, on the other hand, was not laughing at all and rolled her eyes. At that moment I knew I had to stand up for her. I got up on stage, smacked the sh*t out of the guy, and went back to my seat. The comedian was shocked and really wasn't expecting my reaction. He wanted to keep talking about my wife but I shouted at him to stop. Usually I don't curse, but I was really pissed about the whole situation. My friends could see I was upset and during the break they came to comfort me, but other people think I'm the asshole. What do you think?

Your release had increased so much that they could no longer contain you. Your cum has consumed the entirety of the cosmos. Humanity is without a shred of doubt, gone. You are alone in the universe. If there were aliens, they are dead now. It’s over. In despair, you mourn the death of the scientists, of humanity, of everyone. You realize you'll never hear her sweet and calming voice, see her proud body. Your sad. Your terrified. Chronicles pass. The last stars in the universe eclipse. You silently watch as the last atoms break into protons, into quarks, into mere beams of weak energy that disperse along the vertical ropes. But the ropes no longer play their docile music. They have gonne silent. You watch, helplessly, as the Last mozon is engulfed into the ever expanding plane of Cum. Your own creation destroys the very own universe, defying the own plan of existence. You are alone. You scream, but nothing comes out of your mouth. You cry, but nothing descends from your eyes. Do you even have eyes? All you can see is the torrid Instotucional white across the whole of the Universe. Entire Gans eclipse before your eyes, but then you realize the horror: The Cum turned against you. With nothing more to consume, your sons turned against their father, and begin to consume you. You tremble. There's nothing to do. The huge weight impacts you like if whole planets fell onto your shoulders. Your alone. In your last moments, a odd sentiment of peace invades you for the first time since the early days of the universe. It's finally gonna end. You think about all the people that you've met during your stay in this universe. In the end, you think about the researcher. About her arms. Her breasts. You feel... good. For the first time in many hipereons. You jack off it. It's so.... good, you come at the right time, freeing the constrained cum from your menber. You open your eyes, and behold the bathroom door. You are Ok. You remember everything. It's all over. You exit the bathroom after jacking off again, going back to your old life. The cum stops.

Your eyes slowly open. Crusty from months of wear from stray globs of semen and cosmic dust. You are in a room and you can no longer see your member, or rather, what was left of it. There are tubes leading away from your pelvis, pumping and pulsating. There is a glass window across from you and a person dressed in a white jacket. A woman. She looks up from her clipboard to see you are awake. At first she is uninterested, but then her eyes slam open and a beaming smile crosses her face. Her eyes filled with curiosity. “You’re awake!” She cries over the loudspeakers that you only just now notice embedded into the top corners of the room. “Where am I?” You ask, filled with fear and excitement. You thought you would never see a human again and you would be destined to suffer endlessly across the cosmos. “You are on Saturn. You crashed into it and due to it’s extreme mass you were able to stop. We picked you up because you may be the key to saving humanity for all eternity.” “How?” You ask as a smile begins to creep across your face, imagining that you could be an icon for humanity. “You have been addressed as the Cosmic Unknown Mass Semen Generator, or CUMS-G for short. The fault in reality that caused your affliction can be used for the good of humanity. By using the mass you produce we will never have to worry about energy again, as by converting your biomass into energy we have unlimited power for the rest of time. When the stars die and the cosmos sink into nothing, humanity will be able to continue thanks to you. The anomaly that created you is easily one of the greatest discoveries humanity has ever had, on par with the discovery of fire.” “Will I not die?” “You can’t die. You are immortal. You don’t even have a body and yet you continue to exist” … Hours later, she leaves to tell her superiors. They do not greet you. They exchange high-fives and party but they do not speak to you. Months pass. The cum accelerates. Then years. The cum accelerates. Then decades. The cum accelerates. Then centuries. The cum accelerates. Then eons. The cum accelerates. No one talks to you. You don’t even know if humanity is alive anymore or if they have left you to exist for the rest of eternity. The tubes around you have gotten far thicker and more high tech as the ferocity of your semen expulsion increased. Eventually the walls around you cave in. Only then do you see the truth. Their plan was flawed.

so yesterday at school i was with 2 of my friends and we were standing at a table with 2 girls that one of my friends knows better than i know them, and we were talking about couples in our school, and one of the girls just says to me out of nowhere “you’re like the main example of a kind of peggable boy too” and that took be by surprise so much i said “oh, wwell thanks i guess” and i think i was probably blushing soo idk if i only solidified her opinion lmao so like idk if she was flirting or just messing with me im not great at picking up hints, it seems like im not as crazy into pegging as most of u guys are (im mostly gay lmao) and also i dont know if i can now still normally talk to her so help me please ;-;

RATIO? RATIO? WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN, WHAT THE FUCK ARE THESE KIDS SAYING THESE DAYS? RATIO? WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE SOME SORT OF VIOLENT BRAIN DAMAGE? RATIO THIS, L THAT. ARE YOU PEOPLE ACTUALLY MENTALLY CHALLENGED? HOLY SHIT LIKE. RATIO IS A FUCKING MATH TERM YOU DERANGED DEGENERATE BASEMENT DWELLING MORONS CAN YOU STUPID DENSE MOTHERFUCKERS SAY ANYTHING ELSE? SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP

"America as a nation can be defined as a single word: Iwasinthefootasdkjhasjckabcxdqiweywqfootuidhaksb... excuse me, I was in the foothills of the Himalayas with Xi Jinping, traveling with him, traveled 17,000 miles when I was Vice President. I don't know that for a fact." - Joe Biden

The only reason, the only reason you’re all laughing is because you don’t understand that I also played in a team before and it’s actually proper CS and not the kind of shit you play. I’m not gonna play matchmaking with you all because you’re all fucking useless anyway. You know why you’re better than me? Do you know why? Shut the fuck up you cunts. Tell me the answer, come on you fucking retards, laugh all you want you fucking dumbasses, honestly, fuck this. You’re all having a laugh and I’m trying to play a game and actually do something and fucking win. Fuck my dick.

Have you ever thought about how, to a horse, the world is basically Candyland? Like they're wandering down a trail and boom, there's just some thistles. And then to the left, a delicious tree. There's just food all over the ground everywhere. Horses seem pretty excited about it.

Lmao you call yourself a XQC fan? I’m fucking loaded on reddit accounts bro. I practically control r/place, I’m that fucking powerful. Try talking in chat again when you’re a true fan...

Greetings. My name is Beef, and today I would like to present an exceedingly excellent "your mother" joke. I will now begin. Your biological mother is so morbidly obese, when she went to go get her yearly physical done, the doctor took her blood and the results concluded that she had a high blood pressure, onset type 2 diabetes, hypertension and the possibility of heart disease. She also suffers from severe depression, because she lacks confidence in her physical appearance, which enables her to consume even more food, making her more obese. Not to mention, but your mother is becoming so monstrous, she had a hard time fitting through small spaces and exceeding weight limits on practical applications. Your mother has an endless cycle of malicious eating habits that only make her health worsen over time. I hope whoever has just read this enjoyed the humorous "your mother" joke. Thank you for your time, and have a blessed day.