[Copypasta] Stop saying the word cum

Stop saying the word cum so much are you fucking retarded? What's so funny about semen? AHAHAHAHA CUM COOM CAM CAM HAHAHA LOOK AT ME. SEXSEXSEXX AAAHHAAHAH!!!!!!SHUT THE FUCK UP MAKE IT STOP. Me (M18) and my gf (F19) were doing the good sexy sex when I decided to browse Reddit and then I see it: CUM!!!!!!! WHYYYYYYY??? WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS????? THATS SO FUCKING DISGUSTING AND IMMATURE AND MY GF LEFT ME AFTER SHE READ THAT! THATS SO FUNNY FOR YOU ISN'T IT???? ISNT IT WHAT YOU WANTED??? NOONE RUINS MY SEX SEXY SEX SEX WITH MY FEMALE COMPANION. Sincerely, FUCK YOU
April 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

To be fair, you need a very high IQ to understand The Bible

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand The Bible. The humour is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also Jesus’s nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realise that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike The Bible truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in God’s existential catchphrase "Never trust anyone completely but God." which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as King James's genius wit unfolds itself on the pages. What fools.. how I pity them. πŸ˜‚ And yes by the way, I DO have a Bible tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.
August 2021

Just me and EA hanging out

twitchquotes: Just me and πŸ’°πŸ’•EAπŸ’•πŸ’°, hanging out I wanted some Star Wars🌟 so I started to pout 😞 He asked if I was down ⬇for something yummy πŸ˜πŸ† and I asked what and he said he'd give me his πŸ’°πŸ’¦looties!πŸ’¦πŸ’° Yeah! Yeah!πŸ’•πŸ’¦ I earn them!πŸ’¦ I buy them!πŸ’¦ I purchase them wholeπŸ’¦πŸ’° 😍 It makes πŸ’°πŸ’˜EAπŸ’˜πŸ’° 😊happy😊 so it's my only goal... πŸ’•πŸ’¦πŸ˜«Harder EA! Harder EA! πŸ˜«πŸ’¦πŸ’• 1 lootieπŸ’¦, 2 lootieπŸ’¦πŸ’¦, 3 lootieπŸ’¦πŸ’¦πŸ’¦, 4πŸ’¦πŸ’¦πŸ’¦πŸ’¦ I'm πŸ’°πŸ’˜EA'sπŸ’˜πŸ’° πŸ‘‘Disney princess πŸ‘‘but I'm also a consumer whore! πŸ’Ÿ He makes me OPπŸ’—!He makes me feel goodπŸ’œ! πŸ’˜πŸ’˜πŸ’˜He makes me feel everything a whale should!~ πŸ’˜πŸ’˜πŸ’˜ πŸ‘‘πŸ’¦πŸ’˜Wa-What!πŸ’˜πŸ’¦πŸ‘‘ο»Ώ
twitch chat
November 2017

I'm Tanner Jr. btw!

twitchquotes: Hi kripp, I just turned 5 years old! My dad says I'm pretty good at this game at that I should watch your stream to learn how not to play bad. He says he stole your high school girlfriend and does things to your wife in bed everyday. Oh yeah, I'm Tanner Jr. btw! Nice to meet you!
twitch chat
February 2019
Kripp

Tanner from High School

I hate gaming laptops

Today when I walked into my economics class I saw something I dread every time I close my eyes. Someone had brought their new gaming laptop to class. The Forklift he used to bring it was still running idle at the back. I started sweating as I sat down and gazed over at the 700lb beast that was his laptop. He had already reinforced his desk with steel support beams and was in the process of finding an outlet for a power cable thicker than Amy Schumer's thigh. I start shaking. I keep telling myself I'm going to be alright and that there's nothing to worry about. He somehow finds a fucking outlet. Tears are running down my cheeks as I send my last texts to my family saying I love them. The teacher starts the lecture, and the student turns his laptop on. The colored lights on his RGB Backlit keyboard flare to life like a nuclear flash, and a deep humming fills my ears and shakes my very soul. The entire city power grid goes dark. The classroom begins to shake as the massive fans begin to spin. In mere seconds my world has gone from vibrant life, to a dark, earth shattering void where my body is getting torn apart by the 150mph gale force winds and the 500 decibel groan of the cooling fans. As my body finally surrenders, I weep, as my school and my city go under. I fucking hate gaming laptops.
December 2020

MoonMoon can you please stop feeding?

twitchquotes: Hey Moon, I'm currently watching the stream with my 5 year old son, now I don't mind all the cursing but can you please stop feeding? I don't want my son to learn how to suck at video games
twitch chat
February 2017
MOONMOON

Classic

Overwatch

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