Stop saying the word cum so much are you fucking retarded? What's so funny about semen? AHAHAHAHA CUM COOM CAM CAM HAHAHA LOOK AT ME. SEXSEXSEXX AAAHHAAHAH!!!!!!SHUT THE FUCK UP MAKE IT STOP. Me (M18) and my gf (F19) were doing the good sexy sex when I decided to browse Reddit and then I see it: CUM!!!!!!! WHYYYYYYY??? WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS????? THATS SO FUCKING DISGUSTING AND IMMATURE AND MY GF LEFT ME AFTER SHE READ THAT! THATS SO FUNNY FOR YOU ISN'T IT???? ISNT IT WHAT YOU WANTED??? NOONE RUINS MY SEX SEXY SEX SEX WITH MY FEMALE COMPANION.
Sincerely, FUCK YOU
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Pizza anytime
twitchquotes:
ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ ᴘɪᴢᴢᴀᴀᴀᴀ. ᴘɪᴢᴢᴀ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴏʀɴɪɴɢ ᴘɪᴢᴢᴀ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇᴠᴇɴɪɴɢ ᴘɪᴢᴢᴀ ᴀᴛ sᴜᴘᴘᴇʀᴛɪᴍᴇ. ᴡʜᴇɴ ᴘɪᴢᴢᴀs ᴏɴ ᴀ ʙᴀɢᴇʟ, ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ ᴇᴀᴛ ᴘɪᴢᴢᴀ ᴀɴʏᴛɪᴍᴇ ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ
twitch chat
Kripp
I screamed "dead body reported" at my aunts funeral
Me (M 9) screamed "dead body reported" at my aunts funeral. My mom said that my aunt died and that we are going to her funeral the next morning. As soon as she left the room crying I busted put laughing because it reminded me of among us a popular video game. So as we were riding in the car I was thinking about saying "dead body reported" at the funeral. When we finnaly arived I screamed "dead body reported" everyone was looking me like if some sort of a weirdo. Then I remembered that my grandfather's sister fell in the vents and died when she was 2 years old. So I said grandpa's sister sus she vented. My grandfather started crying and everyone was screaming at me instead of laughing. My mom took my x box and said that I am going to therapist tomorow. Idk my mom is acting kinda sus 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Among Us / Amogus
Smartest Man in Existence
twitchquotes:
When I was in school I used to have an IQ of 15. My classmates used to harass me for not being that smart. But since 2013, my life has changed. My IQ is now 195 and it increases by 5 every time I sit down on Saturday nights to watch this one show. It is called Rick and Morty. Because of that, I get all the girls and people are always comparing me to Albert Einstein, some even say that I am the cure for cancer. When the government found out that I watch Rick and Morty, they showed up to my residence and took me to a secret facility to take an exam. The exam was about explaining all the jokes in Rick and Morty and I had to answer each question in all currently spoken languages. Since I watched Rick and Morty, I didn't have any problems and I completed it in 30 minutes. The next day, I got to see the results and I passed the exam with a score of 100%. They gave me the title "Smartest Man in Existence". Guess I am out of this world.
twitch chat
Rick and Morty
Infinite Cum
Infinite cum. You sit on the toilet to jack off, but you begin to cum uncontrollably. After ten spurts you start to worry. Your hand is sticky and it reeks of semen. You desperately shove your dick into a wad of toilet paper, but that only makes your balls hurt. The cum accelerates. It’s been three minutes. You can’t stop cumming. Your bathroom floor is covered in a thin layer of baby fluid. You try to cum into the shower drain but it builds up too fast. You try the toilet. The cum is too thick to be flushed. You lock the bathroom door to prevent the cum from escaping. The air grows hot and humid from the cum. The cum accelerates. You slip and fall in your own sperm. The cum is now six inches deep, almost as long as your still-erect semen hose. Sprawled on your back, you begin to cum all over the ceiling. Globs of the sticky white fluid begin to fall like raindrops, giving you a facial with your own cum. The cum accelerates. You struggle to stand as the force of the cum begins to propel you backwards as if you were on a bukkake themed slip-and-slide. Still on your knees, the cum is now at chin height. To avoid drowning you open the bathroom door. The deluge of man juice reminds you of the Great Molasses Flood of 1919, only with cum instead of molasses. The cum accelerates. It’s been two hours. Your children and wife scream in terror as their bodies are engulfed by the snow-white sludge. Your youngest child goes under, with viscous bubbles and muffled cries rising from the goop. You plead to God to end your suffering. The cum accelerates. You squeeze your dick to stop the cum, but it begins to leak out of your asshole instead. You let go. The force of the cum tears your urethra open, leaving only a gaping hole in your crotch that spews semen. Your body picks up speed as it slides backwards along the cum. You smash through the wall, hurtling into the sky at thirty miles an hour. From a bird’s eye view you see your house is completely white. Your neighbor calls the cops. The cum accelerates. As you continue to ascend, you spot police cars racing towards your house. The cops pull out their guns and take aim, but stray loads of cum hit them in the eyes, blinding them. The cum accelerates. You are now at an altitude of 1000 feet. The SWAT team arrives. Military helicopters circle you. Hundreds of bullets pierce your body at once, yet you stay conscious. Your testicles have now grown into a substitute brain. The cum accelerates. It has been two days. With your body now destroyed, the cum begins to spray in all directions. You break the sound barrier. The government deploys fighter jets to chase you down, but the impact of your cum sends one plane crashing to the ground. The government decides to let you leave the earth. You feel your gonads start to burn up as you reach the edges of the atmosphere. You narrowly miss the ISS, giving it a new white paint job as you fly past. Physicists struggle to calculate your erratic trajectory. The cum accelerates. The cum begins to gravitate towards itself, forming a comet trail of semen. Astronomers begin calling you the “Cummet.” You are stuck in space forever, stripped of your body and senses, forced to endure an eternity of cumshots. Eventually, you stop thinking.
