I sexually Identify as an Elon Musk. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of implanting wires in monkey brains and being the supreme leader of Mars. People say to me that a person being a multi-billionaire CEO is impossible and I’m a fucking Twittard but I don’t care, I’m the richest man on Earth. I’m having a plastic surgeon install a Tesla HUD, StarLink terminal and a crypto mining rig on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me “Technoking of Tesla” and respect my right to manipulate dogecoin prices. If you can’t accept me you’re a muskophobe and need to check your unionized worker privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
I used to be a real ad
More I sexually Identify as Copypastas
I identify as a meme
twitchquotes:
I sexually Identify as a meme. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of being uploaded onto the imgur website and linked into the reddit threads. People say to me that a person being a meme is Impossible and I'm fucking retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a computer scientist put my brain into my computer like johnny depp in transendence, equipping me with the dankest of pictures from the internet. From now on I want you guys to call me "Sir Danks-a-lot" and respect my right to meme from above and meme needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a memephobe and need to check your internet privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
twitch chat
I sexually Identify as
I sexually identify as an Ironbeak Owl
twitchquotes:
I sexually identify as an Ironbeak Owl. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of being misplayed during tournaments and silencing the incorrect cards. People say to me that a person being an owl is ridiculous and I'm fucking retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a genetic engineer put ironbeak owl DNA into my body, equipping me with feathers, beaks, and the power to silence others. From now on I want you guys to call me "Owlsen" and respect my right to silence from above and silence needlessly. If you can't accept me you're an owlphobe and need to check your animal privilege. Thank you for understanding.
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Hearthstone
I sexually Identify as
I sexually Identify as the "I sexually identify as an attack helicopter" joke
I sexually Identify as the "I sexually identify as an attack helicopter" joke. Ever since I was a child, I've dreamed of flippantly dismissing any concepts or discussions regarding gender that don't fit in with what I learned in 8th grade bio. People say to me that this joke hasn't been funny since 2014 and please at least come up with a new one, but I don't care, I'm hilarious. I'm having a plastic surgeon install Ctrl, C, and V keys on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "epic kek dank meme trannies owned with facts and logic" and respect my right to shit up social media. If you can't accept me you're a memeophobe and need to check your ability-to-critically-think privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
I sexually Identify as
I sexually Identify as an LGM-30 Minuteman III
twitchquotes:
I sexually Identify as an LGM-30 Minuteman III intercontinental ballistic missile. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of delivering a W78 nuclear warhead with an explosive yield of 3x500 kilotons of TNT anywhere on the planet at Mach 23. People say to me that a person being a Minuteman III is impossible and I’m incredibly destructive but I don’t care. I’m having Air Force Global Strike Command install new three-stage solid-fuel rocket engines and give me an $86 billion upgrade on my 59 foot body. From now on I want you guys to call me "ICBM" and respect my right to be in service until at least the 2030s. If you can’t accept me you’re missileophobe and need to check your local AFB for missile silos. Thank you, and I'll see you in WW3.
twitch chat
I sexually Identify as
I sexually Identify as TheLegend27
twitchquotes:
I sexually Identify as TheLegend27. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the armies of my enemies hurling big, hard boulders at disgusting cavalry. People say to me that a person being TheLegend27 is Impossible and I’m *** retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon install Game of War: Fire Age, trebuchets and 90kg stones on my body.
twitch chat