[Copypasta] I sexually identify as an Attack Helicopter

I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm *** retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
November 2014

Classic

I sexually Identify as

(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Gr8 b8 m8

twitchquotes: Gr8 b8, m8. I rel8, str8 appreci8, and congratul8. I r8 this b8 an 8/8. Plz no h8, I'm str8 ir8. Cre8 more, can't w8. We should convers8, I won't ber8, my number is 8888888, ask for N8. No calls l8 or out of st8. If on a d8, ask K8 to loc8. Even with a full pl8, I always have time to communic8 so don't hesit8, I hope you r8 8/8 .. m8.
twitch chat
October 2014

Classic

Le fedora has arrived

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆleβ–ˆβ–ˆfedoraβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆhasβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆarrivedβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–‘ β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘
ascii art
February 2015

Classic

CTRL+C CTRL+V ENTER

twitchquotes: You idly watching the stream, mindlessly wasting yet another evening. You notice 4+ length message in the chat. Grabbing the mouse, hovering over, scrolling up. Reading the message and realizing the pasta has no meaning at all. CTRL+C CTRL+V ENTER. You are retarded.
twitch chat
July 2020

Classic

My daughter was born with a hearing impairment

twitchquotes: My daughter was born with a hearing impairment than ultimately left her deaf shortly after birth. I have been working for years to pay for a new surgery that would allow her to hear again. Today was her 8th birthday and I managed to get her what she's always wanted for her birthday, the sense of hearing. I decided to let her listen in on what Daddy has been watching late at night and I turn on your stream and what do I hear? Silence. Now she's crying thinking she's deaf again, Nice job Kripp.
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

Classic

Think you can beat me?

β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β  β „β „β ’β ‚β’€β „β „β „β „β „β „ β’€β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β’€β‘€β „β£°β£Άβ£¦β‘ˆβ „β „β „β „β „β „THINK ⠄⠄⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣖⣿⣷⣴⑄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄YOU ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿⠛⠩⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄CAN ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣀⣾⣿⣿⑏⠉⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄BEAT β „β „β’€β£΄β£Άβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ÿβ Ίβ‘‡β „β’΅β£€β£€β „β „β „β „β „ME β „β’ β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘β β „β£·β£€β ˆβ ™β ›β ‘β „β „β „β „1,2,3? ⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⑇⠹⣿⣿⣿⑦⠄⠹Ⓙ⑇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ β „β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ β’°β£€β£€β£€β£ β£”β’°β „β „β „β „β’€β‘ˆβ „β „β „ β’ β£Ώβ£Ώβ Ÿβ „β „β’Έβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ β’Έβ‘†β „β β „β’Έβ£Ώβ£Œβ „β „ β’Έβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘†β „β „β’Έβ£Ώβ‘Ώβ’Ώβ‘€β „β ˆβ „β „β’€β „β’°β£Ώβ£Ώβ‘„β „ β ˆβ’Ώβ£Ώβ£·β „β „β „β£Ώβ£·β£¦β „β β „β „β „β ˜β „β ˜β’Ώβ£Ώβ‘‡β „ β „β ˆβ »β£Ώβ£‡β  β „β’€β‘‰β „β „β „β „β „β’€β‘†β „β „β ˜β£Ώβ‘‡β „ β „β „β „β ˜β£Ώβ£§β’€β£Ώβ£Ώβ’·β£Άβ£Άβ£Άβ£Ύβ’Ÿβ£Ύβ£„β „β‘΄β£Ώβ‘€β „ β „β „β „β „β ˜β£Ώβ£§β£β£Ώβ£·β£β’Ώβ£Ώβ ‡β’Έβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Žβ‘‘β ‹β „β „ β „β „β „β „β „β£β ›β ‹β β£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Žβ’ β£΄β£Ύβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£·β „β „β „β „ β „β „β „β „β’ β£Ώβ£·β£Ύβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ β ˜β’Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘„β „β „β „ β „β „β „β „β’Έβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ ƒβ „β „β ˆβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘‡β „β „β „
ascii art
November 2018

Classic

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