I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm *** retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
I used to be a real ad
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REKT Not REKT
β Not REKT β REKT β REKTangle β SHREKT β REKT-it Ralph β Total REKTall β The Lord of the REKT β The Usual SusREKTs β North by NorthREKT β REKT to the Future β Once Upon a Time in the REKT β The Good, the Bad, and the REKT β LawREKT of Arabia β Tyrannosaurus REKT β eREKTile dysfunction
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Shrek
Perfect LUL Pyramid
This is the world we have wrought
twitchquotes:
The year is 2129; humans can only communicate through increasingly garbled copy-pasta. A man approaches and says "ire: βββ 10 ο½ο½ο½ο½ο½ο½
ο½ο½ο½ο½ ff β EKT βΎ β ΒΈ. ?" In confusion, I reply "AT ASCII ΰΊΩΝΩΝΰΊΰΊΰΌ½ΰΌ½οΎοΎ HA Κα΄Κα΄ γ½ΰΌΌΰ²’_ β βΰΈ±β)β TUCK F (β‘βΏβ‘βΏ)". This is the world we have wrought.
twitch chat
Classic
I dream of becoming a carrot
twitchquotes:
I dream of becoming a carrot. When I'm home alone I dig holes in the backyard and stand in them, put lettuce on top of my head from sun up to sun down. I would steal sun tan spray from stores and use it until I turned a bright orange. People tell me it's impossible for me to be a carrot but I know I can be anything I want to be.
twitch chat
Classic
At least you lasted longer than NA at worlds
twitchquotes:
Eeeyoo I had the most amazing sex with this girl last night. It was so good I came in 15 seconds and as I turned to look at her out of embarrassment, she put her lips to my ear and whispered "at least you lasted longer than NA at worlds" 
twitch chat