I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm *** retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
I used to be a real ad
More Classic Copypastas
Among Us crewmate
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Among Us / Amogus
Classic
VAPE TEST
twitchquotes:
VAPE TEST 
()_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_) If the arms touch the vape, you are LIT ⎝ 
⎠
()_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_) If the arms touch the vape, you are LIT ⎝ ⎠
twitch chat
Kripp
Classic
VapeNation
Chat Test
Reynad's mother messages Reynad
twitchquotes:
Greeting Andrey, this is your Mother. I heard earlier that you "maybe" 420 blaze it. I am very concerned. I dont like that Jeffery boy and I dont think you should hang out with him anymore. I hope the rest of you concerned mothers in twitch chat will copy paste this so my son will see..
twitch chat
Reynad
Classic
CTRL WTF for Fancy WTF
twitchquotes:
HOLD CTRL AND TYPE "WTF" FOR ℱ𝓪𝓷𝓬𝔂 𝓦𝓣ℱ
HOLD CTRL AND TYPE "WTF" FOR ℱ𝓪𝓷𝓬𝔂 𝓦𝓣ℱ
twitch chat
Classic
Navy Seal
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.