[Copypasta] I sexually identify as an Attack Helicopter

I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm *** retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
November 2014

Classic

I sexually Identify as

Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Classic Copypastas

not an asexual thing

twitchquotes: β€˜not an asexual thing’. try living a day in my shoes, walking around terrified of encountering sex everywhere i go. wherever i look, parents with children, people sucking each others’ faces. it makes me and millions of other aces out there feel really attacked.
twitch chat
February 2019

Classic

Mic Muted

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–€β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–€β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–€β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–„β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–€β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘
March 2015

Classic

This is my very first copy pasta

twitchquotes: Hey guys. This is my very first copy pasta and I am really nervous about pasting it because if it does not get copy pasta then I will have much embarrassment. I've have thinking about it for a couple of nights now, but here it is!.
twitch chat
August 2015

Classic

This is why eSports will never...

twitchquotes: This is why eSports will never hit the general public as hard as for instance soccer. the way you kids are spamming this chat is just ruining the whole experience for a grown man. Seriously. Grow up.
twitch chat
August 2018

Classic

Naughty fun

guys why when a woman gets a vibrator, its seen as a bit of naughty fun. BUT when a guy orders a 240 Volt FuckMaster Pro 5000 blowup latex doll with 6 speed pulsating ***, elasticized anus with non-drip semen collection tray, together with optional built in realistic orgasm scream surround sound system, hes called a pervert?
April 2014

Classic

Text-to-Speech Playing