[Copypasta] I sexually identify as an Attack Helicopter

I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm *** retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
November 2014

Classic

I sexually Identify as

What happened to this ad? :(
More Classic Copypastas

"Based"? Are "Based"? Are you fucking kidding me?

"Based"? Are you fucking kidding me? I spent a decent portion of my life writing all of that and your response to me is "Based"? Are you so mentally handicapped that the only word you can comprehend is "Based" - or are you just some fucking asshole who thinks that with such a short response, he can make a statement about how meaningless what was written was? Well, I'll have you know that what I wrote was NOT meaningless, in fact, I even had my written work proof-read by several professors of literature. Don't believe me? I doubt you would, and your response to this will probably be "Based" once again. Do I give a fuck? No, does it look like I give even the slightest fuck about five fucking letters? I bet you took the time to type those five letters too, I bet you sat there and chuckled to yourself for 20 hearty seconds before pressing "send". You're so fucking pathetic. I'm honestly considering directing you to a psychiatrist, but I'm simply far too nice to do something like that. You, however, will go out of your way to make a fool out of someone by responding to a well-thought-out, intelligent, or humorous statement that probably took longer to write than you can last in bed with a chimpanzee. What do I have to say to you? Absolutely nothing. I couldn't be bothered to respond to such a worthless attempt at a response. Do you want "Based" on your gravestone?
August 2021

Based

Classic

When I use this text, my brain cell begin to die

twitchquotes: ๏ฝ—๏ฝˆ๏ฝ…๏ฝŽ ๏ฝ‰ ๏ฝ•๏ฝ“๏ฝ… ๏ฝ”๏ฝˆ๏ฝ‰๏ฝ“ ๏ฝ”๏ฝ…๏ฝ˜๏ฝ”๏ผŒ ๏ฝ๏ฝ™ ๏ฝ‚๏ฝ’๏ฝ๏ฝ‰๏ฝŽ ๏ฝƒ๏ฝ…๏ฝŒ๏ฝŒ ๏ฝ๏ฝ•๏ฝ”๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ”๏ฝ‰๏ฝƒ๏ฝ๏ฝŒ๏ฝŒ๏ฝ™ ๏ฝ‚๏ฝ…๏ฝ‡๏ฝ‰๏ฝŽ ๏ฝ”๏ฝ ๏ฝ„๏ฝ‰๏ฝ…๏ผŽ ๏ฝ™๏ฝ…๏ฝ” ๏ฝ‰ ๏ฝƒ๏ฝ๏ฝŽ๏ฝ”๏ฝ‰๏ฝŽ๏ฝ•๏ฝ… ๏ฝ”๏ฝ ๏ฝƒ๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ™๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ“๏ฝ”๏ฝ ๏ฝ๏ฝŽ๏ฝ„ ๏ฝ†๏ฝ…๏ฝ…๏ฝŒ ๏ฝ‰ ๏ฝƒ๏ฝ๏ฝŽ๏ฝ”๏ฝ’๏ฝ‰๏ฝ‚๏ฝ•๏ฝ”๏ฝ… ๏ฝ”๏ฝ ๏ฝ”๏ฝˆ๏ฝ… ๏ฝ‰๏ฝŽ๏ฝ”๏ฝ…๏ฝ’๏ฝŽ๏ฝ…๏ฝ”๏ผŽ ๏ฝ๏ฝŒ๏ฝŒ ๏ฝ‚๏ฝ…๏ฝƒ๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ‰๏ฝŽ๏ฝ‡ ๏ฝ’๏ฝ…๏ฝ”๏ฝ๏ฝ’๏ฝ„.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Classic

Hey, Kripp! What's up man?

twitchquotes: Hey, kripp! What's up, man? It's Mike from Woman History class last semester. I didn't know you were some kind of internet superstar hahahaha. Hit me up, man. Btw, did you ever hook up with Leifman? She was a big girl hahah. You are such a dog. It's so cool to see you again. You have my numbah. Just hit me up, man.
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Classic

Thinking Emoji

โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–’ โ–’โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–’ โ–’โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–’ โ–’โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–’ โ–’โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’
ascii art
May 2017

Classic

Mic Muted

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
ascii art
March 2015

Classic

More Classic Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing