I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm *** retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
(βΜΏΔΉΜ―ββ¬β΄β¬β΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Classic Copypastas
I cannot get over how much Kripp complains
twitchquotes:
I cannot get over how much this guy complains as soon as he doesn't get extremely lucky. He is so incredibly narcissistic that he truly believes nobody else is allowed to do well or draft effective cards. We are all just guests who play in Kripp's world of hearthstone. To suggest that you are better than Kripp must simply mean that you have better RNG. What an arrogant failure of a man
twitch chat
Kripp
Classic
Hearthstone
YOU DON'T GET TO TENTACLE ME OCTO-CHAN!
β β±β§Έβ 
YOU DON'T GET TO TENTACLE ME OCTO-CHAN! β§Ήβ²ββ§Ή Everything points to Amogus
ππΏππΏππΏππΏππΏππΏππΏππΏππΏππΏππΏ
ππΏππΎππΎππΎππΎππΎππΎππΎππΎππΎππΏ
ππΏππΎππ½ππ½ππ½ππ½ππ½ππ½ππ½ππΎππΏ
ππΏππΎππ½ππΌππΌππΌππΌππΌππ½ππΎππΏ
ππΏππΎππ½ππΌππ»ππ»ππ»ππΌππ½ππΎππΏ
ππΏππΎππ½ππΌππ» ΰΆ ππ»ππΌππ½ππΎππΏ
ππΏππΎππ½ππΌππ»ππ»ππ»ππΌππ½ππΎππΏ
ππΏππΎππ½ππΌππΌππΌππΌππΌππ½ππΎππΏ
ππΏππΎππ½ππ½ππ½ππ½ππ½ππ½ππ½ππΎππΏ
ππΏππΎππΎππΎππΎππΎππΎππΎππΎππΎππΏ
ππΏππΏππΏππΏππΏππΏππΏππΏππΏππΏππΏ
Among Us / Amogus
Classic
Comedy God has entered the building: Attack Helicopter
I Sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter
WEE WOO WEE WOO
ALERT! COMEDY GOD HAS ENTERED THE BUILDING! GET TO COVER!
steps on stage
Bystander: "Oh god! Don't do it! I have a family!"
Comedy God: "Heh..."
adjusts fedora
the building is filled with fear and anticipation
God and Jesus himself looks on in suspense
comedy god clears throat
everything is completely quiet not a single sound is heard
world leaders look and wait with dread
everything in the world stops
nothing is happening
comedy god smirks
no one is prepared for what is going to happen
comedy god musters all of this power
he bellows out to the world
"ATTACK"
absolute suspense
everyone is filled with overwhelming dread
"HELICOPTER"
all at once, absolute pandemonium commences
all nuclear powers launch their nukes at once
giant brawls start
43 wars are declared simultaneously
a shockwave travels around the earth
earth is driven into chaos
humanity is regressed back to the stone age
the pure funny of that joke destroyed civilization itself
all the while people are laughing harder than they ever did
people who aren't killed die from laughter
literally the funniest joke in the world
then the comedy god himself posts his creation to reddit and gets karma
Classic
What is inside that taco? Reynad's tournament wins
twitchquotes:
WHAT IS INSIDE THAT TACO 
0 OH NO IT'S REYNAD'S TOURNAMENT WINS 
WHAT IS INSIDE THAT TACO 0 OH NO IT'S REYNAD'S TOURNAMENT WINS
twitch chat
Reynad