I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm *** retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
What happened to this ad? :(
More Classic Copypastas
Your deck is insane, Trump said
twitchquotes:
"Your deck is insane." Trump said, as he slipped his feminine hand into Kripp's pants and smirked. "Are you trying to top-deck me?" protests Kripp, as Trump blushes, the boyish figure undressed before Kripp. "Weak tempo play, Trump." The two kissed, deeply and passionately, and afterwards Trump places his Leper Gnome into Kripp's Twisting Nether.
twitch chat
Kripp
Classic
Hearthstone
KappaPride
That's some good shit right there
twitchquotes:
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ good shit goเฑฆิ sHit๐ thats โ some good๐๐shit right๐๐th ๐ ere๐๐๐ rightโthere โโif i do ฦฝaาฏ so my sel๏ฝ ๐ฏ i say so ๐ฏ thats what im talking about right there right there (chorus: สณแถฆแตสฐแต แตสฐแตสณแต) mMMMMแทะ๐ฏ ๐๐ ๐ะO0ะเฌ ๏ผฏOO๏ผฏOะเฌ เฌ Ooooแตแตแตแตแตแตแตแตแต๐ ๐๐ ๐ ๐ฏ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐๐Good shit
twitch chat
Emoji Pasta
Classic
Just kidding, it's still Tanner
twitchquotes:
H-hey Octavian, do you remember me from Biology? Freshman year? It's Laura. I just wanted to stop by since you missed the last reunion, I was looking for you. I always thought you were really smart and talented, but I could never work up the nerve to tell you. Anyway, I hope you're doing well...HAHA Just kidding, it's still Tanner you fucking gullible idiot lmfao. Anyway, the gym awaits, see ya man good talk.
twitch chat
Kripp
Classic
Tanner from High School
Auto-Pay feature
twitchquotes:
Hello Octavian Kripparrian, Marvel Future Fight devs here. We have noticed you have used our "Auto-Play" functionality extensively today, with much better results than when you played the game yourself. Because of this success, we are happy to announce another brand-new feature: "Auto-Pay". We have seen you spend a large amount of time inefficiently upgrading your character, and this time is better spent Auto-Playing. Please click the "Auto-Pay" button, and let your Credit Card do the work!
twitch chat
Kripp
sellout
Classic
we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce
gf is prego
we like to get kinky anyways
one night things get particularly saucy
i'm sticking my noodle in her when I notice weird fucking chunks coming out, so I turn on the lights
wtf it's red everywhere and she's obviously not on her period
i look up at her, she's got a glassy, jarred look on her face and she's not answering
ohshitohshitohshitohshit
i rush her into my car and speed all the way to the hospital
she's still bleeding everywhere
by the time we get there, she's not bleeding much anymore, but all the color has drained and she looks colorless and almost transparent
oh shit, she looks like she's in a vegetative state
storm into to the emergency room, cary her to the nearest doctor and explain eveything
he takes one look at ther and says
"sir, i'm sorry, there's nothing we can do"
"WHY THE FUCK NOT???"
"we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce"