[Copypasta] I sexually identify as an Attack Helicopter

I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm *** retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
November 2014

Classic

I sexually Identify as

(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Classic Copypastas

gachiGASM

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–“β–“β–’β–’β–“β–“β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–’β–„β–“β–‘β–’β–„β–„β–„β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–’β–€β–€β–€β–€β–’β–‘β–„β–‘β–„β–’β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–’β–€β–’β–€β–’β–“β–’β–“β–‘β–‘ β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–€β–„β–“β–’β–“β–‘ β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–“β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–“β–’β–’β–’β–“ β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–€β–„β–’β–“β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–’β–’β–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–‘β–‘
April 2016

KappaPride

Classic

I am not receiving 328.2 million votes on my election

twitchquotes: I have noticed that, although America has 328.2 million people, I am not receiving 328.2 million votes on my election. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to vote for me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to vote for me. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
twitch chat
November 2020

2020 US Election

Classic

WEEB pyramid

VoHiYo only real WEEB can build this perfect pyramid  VoHiYo  VoHiYo . Try like me !Try like me ! Try like me !!  VoHiYo  VoHiYo  VoHiYo And my pyramid still higher!!!!!!  VoHiYo  VoHiYo  VoHiYo  VoHiYo
twitch chat
June 2016

Weebs

Classic

Oops I dropped my CONGA LINE

twitchquotes: Oops I dropped my CONGA LINE πŸƒπŸšΆ πŸ’ƒπŸƒπŸšΆπŸ’ƒπŸƒπŸšΆ CONGA LINE πŸ’ƒπŸƒπŸšΆπŸ’ƒπŸƒπŸšΆπŸ’ƒπŸƒπŸšΆπŸ’ƒπŸƒπŸšΆ πŸ’ƒπŸƒπŸšΆπŸ’ƒπŸƒπŸšΆ CONGA LINE πŸ’ƒπŸƒπŸšΆπŸ’ƒπŸƒπŸšΆπŸ’ƒπŸƒπŸšΆπŸ’ƒπŸƒπŸšΆ πŸ’ƒπŸƒπŸšΆπŸ’ƒπŸƒπŸšΆ CONGA LINE πŸ’ƒπŸƒπŸšΆπŸ’ƒπŸƒπŸšΆπŸ’ƒπŸƒπŸšΆπŸ’ƒπŸƒπŸšΆ πŸ’ƒπŸƒπŸšΆπŸ’ƒπŸƒπŸšΆ CONGA LINE πŸ’ƒπŸƒπŸšΆπŸ’ƒπŸƒπŸšΆπŸ’ƒπŸƒπŸšΆ
twitch chat
October 2015

Classic

top players first name

twitchquotes: LETS GO MICHAEL!! (btw Michael is imaqtpie, i can use his first name because we are tight like that. yeah i know top players but its not a big deal to me lol)
twitch chat
November 2018
imaqtpie

Classic

Text-to-Speech Playing