[Copypasta] I sexually identify as an Attack Helicopter

I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm *** retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
November 2014

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I sexually Identify as

I used to be a real ad
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5 men 9 eyebrows 1 dream

twitchquotes: This is Gambit ΰΌΌ ΒΊΩ„ΝŸΒΊΰΌΌ ΒΊΩ„ΝŸΒΊ( Ν‘Β° Ν‘ ͜ Ν‘Κ– Ν‘ Β°)ΒΊΩ„ΝŸΒΊ ΰΌ½ΒΊΩ„ΝŸΒΊ ΰΌ½ 5 MEN 9 EYEBROWS 1 DREAM
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twitchquotes: If you ask Rick Astley for a DVD of the movie Up, he won’t give it to you because he’s never gonna give you Up. However, by not giving you Up like you asked for it, he’s letting you down. This is known as the Astley paradox.
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I'm so glad to be in the other 1 percent

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Just kidding, it's still Tanner

twitchquotes: H-hey Octavian, do you remember me from Biology? Freshman year? It's Laura. I just wanted to stop by since you missed the last reunion, I was looking for you. I always thought you were really smart and talented, but I could never work up the nerve to tell you. Anyway, I hope you're doing well...HAHA Just kidding, it's still Tanner you fucking gullible idiot lmfao. Anyway, the gym awaits, see ya man good talk.
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