[Copypasta] Mr Bear song (that's where your hopes go to die)

Well There's all sorts of creatures, down on Dangley Doodle Farm. Like wise old Mr Octopus, with way too many arms! There's Mr Pig! And Mr Cow! They're always in good moods. But That's cause they don't know they'll soon be sliced up into food! Mr Bear! What's that over there? That's where your hopes go to turn into despair. Mr Bear! What's That over there? That's where your dreams go to die! Mr Racoon! Wants to go to the moon. He'll end up as a bus driver soon! Mr Porcupine! Thinks he'll read the news at nine, he'll end up as a janitor, who stinks of turpentine. Mr Tiny Mouse! Thought he'd own a massive house. Ended up in a bed sit where he can't control the louse! Mr Horse! Though he'd go into professional sports. Now he's an alcoholic and he's on his third divorce! Mr Bear! What's that over there? That's the place your life becomes an endless questionnaire! Mr Bear! What's that over there? That's where your hopes go to die. Lower your expectations! Maybe you could get a job in telecommunications. No matter how you try you'll never reach the League of Nations. The best you'll get is middle rank in trading operations! So lower your expectations! You'll never win an oscar, so there's no congratulations. The future that is coming will not meet specifications. And no amount of visualisations will save you from your own deterioration Mr Bear! What's that over there? That's the tramp who thought he'd be a multimillionaire! Mr Bear! What's that over there? That's where self-esteem goes to die. Mr Bear! What's that over there? That's the disappointment that is waiting everywhere! Mr Bear! What's that over there? That's where your schemes go to die! That's where your dreams go to die! That's where dreams go to die!
April 2022
I used to be a real ad
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Only Ninety's kids will remember This.

There once was a woman who had 100 children. She named each of them after numbers in the order they were born. There was a fire and all of them died except Ninety. Ninety went off to have kids of her own. They were very kind and loving. One day they found an injured dog. They took it home and nursed it back to health. They hid the dog and never told their mother afraid she would kick the dog out . In fact they never told anyone. To keep from arousing any suspicions they named the dog "This" so the name could be used in conversation. One day This ran away. They never saw This again. No one else knew about This. No one even knew a dog named This existed. Only Ninety's kids will remember This.
August 2021

CSGO becoming Russian

twitchquotes: As my first FPS game, csgo was a bit overwhelming. I soon started to gain skills like aiming at head level. Before I knew it, I was performing Π»ΡƒΡ‡ΡˆΠ΅ and better. I stopped making silly ошибки and я got vastly better at not ΡƒΠΌΠΈΡ€Π°ΡŽΡ‰ΠΈΠΉ to the enemy ΠΈΠ³Ρ€ΠΎΠΊΠΈ. For the Π½Π°ΠΈΠ±ΠΎΠ»Π΅Π΅ part, everyone I've met was helpful and Ρ…ΠΎΡ€ΠΎΡˆΠΈΠΉ, there Π΅ΡΡ‚ΡŒ the ΠΈΠ½ΠΎΠ³Π΄Π° Ρ€Ρ‹Π²ΠΎΠΊ however. As Π― ΠΏΠΎ-ΠΏΡ€Π΅ΠΆΠ½Π΅ΠΌΡƒ play csgo всС Π±ΠΎΠ»Π΅Π΅ ΠΈ Π±ΠΎΠ»Π΅Π΅, Π― ΡƒΠ²Π΅Ρ€Π΅Π½, Ρ‡Ρ‚ΠΎ я Π±ΡƒΠ΄Ρƒ ΠΏΡ€ΠΎΠ΄ΠΎΠ»ΠΆΠ°Ρ‚ΡŒ ΡΠΎΠ²Π΅Ρ€ΡˆΠ΅Π½ΡΡ‚Π²ΠΎΠ²Π°Ρ‚ΡŒ. Π― Ρ€Π΅ΠΊΠΎΠΌΠ΅Π½Π΄ΡƒΡŽ эту ΠΈΠ³Ρ€Ρƒ для всСх!
twitch chat
April 2016
pashaBiceps

CSGO

Bear King Burry vs TSLA

Bear King Michael Burry in the ring, slappin TSLA with a metal chair. His glass eye open wide with rage as he batters TSLA relentlessly. "The valuation..." crunch "makes...." crunch "NO.... " crunch "SENSE!" he roars with maniacal autistic glee. TSLA struggles for the edge of the ring, but coughs blood as each hit lands, and eventually stops moving. Bear King Burry drops the chair. Bear King Burry turns to the crowd "Was this your champion!? Was TSLA supposed to be your chosen one!?" A child in the crowd turns his face into his mother's side and cries. On the side of the ring WSB can barely move. TSLA was supposed to tag them in, but couldn't make it to the side in time. "Get up TSLA" WSB whimpers hopelessly, a single tear rolling down their cheek. "Get up..." Bear King Burry turns to WSB "Now it is your portfolio's turn. Get in here you little bitch." "Excuse me." Someone replies from behind BKB. "I believe I can give you the fight you want." A robed figure is administering smelling salts to TSLA. The figure puts TSLA on its shoulder and carries TSLA gently out of the ring. "And just who the fuck do you think you are?" BKB rumbles ominously. BKB's fingers squeeze so tightly on the chair that metal bends. "Who am I?" the robed figure inquires. The robed figure stands straight and stretches to their full height. They must be at least 7' tall. The crowd stops crying and watches in stunned silence. "Who am I?" The figure repeats menacingly. The figure turns around to face BKB, ripping off his robe. A gleaming light fills the stadium. Before us stands a Golden deity, rippling with muscle. If there is an ounce of body fat it is currently in hiding, only to make way for seemingly endless coiled golden musculature. The figure looks directly into Bear King Burry's eyes. "I'm Goldman Sachs, and i'm here to kill you."
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Stock space rocket

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January 2021

WallStreetBets

In japan we we say 乇乂ㄒ尺卂 γ„’ε„δΈ¨εŒšεŒš

twitchquotes: In japan we don't say 'I love you' we say 乇乂ㄒ尺卂 γ„’ε„δΈ¨εŒšεŒš which doesn't mean anything it just spells out 'Extra Thicc' in japanese symbols.
twitch chat
July 2017
Text-to-Speech Playing