The Battle of Gamestop rages on.
Pre-market we could hear the bears in no-man’s land, baiting us towards higher prices so the shorts could do their dirty work. I was stationed at the 13.80 line, and knew the morning was going to be hot. I shoveled a breakfast of tendies and said a quick prayer to Father Cohen.
When the bell rang, the bears surged into our trenches. Blood and rainbow fur filled the air and littered the ground. The Diamond Division has seen worse days, and we held firm. As the bears retreated we gave chase to retake ground we’d lost in the past week.
As I caught my breath near the 14.50, I could see bodies everywhere; paper hands who had fallen in earlier battles. One of them groaned and reached a hand towards me. I spat on him and kept moving. No honor in retreat, and no sympathy for self-inflicted wounds.
This war won’t be won in a day, but it will be won. Tell my wife’s boyfriend to tell her I love her.
I used to be a real ad
More WallStreetBets Copypastas
Darth Bearish the Regarded
Did you ever hear the tragedy of "Darth Bearish the Regarded"?
I thought not. It’s not a story any bull would tell you.
It’s an ancient Bear legend.
Darth Bearish was a Dark Lord of the Bears, so well capitalized and so regarded he could use Leverage to influence gamma to create profits… He had such a knowledge of the dark side of Leverage that he could even keep other traders he cared about from being margin called.
But the dark side of Leverage is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be... unnatural. He became so bearish… the only thing he was afraid of was losing his positions, which eventually, of course, he did.
Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice reversed his positions in his sleep. Ironic. He could save others from bankruptcy, but not himself!
Tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise
WallStreetBets
Christmas for a wsb trader
As the tree blinks from white to red to green, you look at the void under the tree that previously held presents. Fewer this year than usual, but some.
How did you get here? Boredom? In March, you felt trapped with your wife and infant. You needed something to pass the time. Something you could throw yourself into fully.
“Are you coming to bed?” your wife yells down the stairs. It seemed harmless at first, but as the pandemic drew on, so did your investment. You’ll stop soon, though. “Soon!” you reply, and you hear her feet climb the steps.
The lights start to blink chaotically. You cringe because you could only afford the junk strands at CVS. Suddenly they halt—the alternation feature broken—on red. The red fills the room and covers your flesh. You look down at your hands, and they look like they’re bleeding. Like your calls.
After a time—hours?—you realize you’re sitting in complete darkness. Your lights have expired, worthless.
WallStreetBets
It's called empathy
Sometimes watching porn I like to pretend I'm the "woman" it's called empathy not homosexuality.
WallStreetBets
bears are fuk
I hate people saying bears are fuk or bulls are fuk. Stop saying that. It's very rude. Just say bears are fuk
WallStreetBets
Fuck you all, I’m never listening to this sub again.
Yesterday I said we’d see a rally like we’ve never seen before
I was ridiculed and the market went down this morning so I accepted defeat and sold my nvda calls and got tesla puts.
My account is down bad right now. I also hedged with a tesla call so hopefully I’ll make something. Somehow oil also tanked.
Fuck you all. I’m only listening to myself now. You’re all retarded and so am I for listening to you.
Edit: not sure why some of you degens think I’m blaming you. Of course it’s my fault. This is a shitpost update. Stop taking it so seriously you retards
See you tomorrow