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I was only nine years old. I loved Among us so much; I had all the merchandise and the skins. I played Among us every night before bed. Thanking Among us for hours of entertainment I've been given. "Among us is love," I say, "Among us is life." My dad hears me and calls me, "A retard." I knew he was just jealous of my devotion for Among us. I call him, "Sus." He slaps me and sends me to bed. I am crying now and my face hurts. I lay in bed and it's really cold. I feel a warmth move towards me. I feel something touch me. It's the Crewmates. I am so happy. They whisper in my ear, "Are you the imposter?" They grab me with their hard-working crewmate hands and put me on my hands and knees. I'm ready. I spread my asscheeks for the crewmates. They penetrate my butthole. It hurts so much, but I do it for the Among us characters. I can feel my rectum tearing as my eyes start to water. I push against their force. I want to please the crewmates. They roar a mighty roar as they fill my butthole with their love. My dad walks in. The crewmates look him straight in the eye and say, "It is all sussed now." The Among us characters leave through my window. Among us is love, Among us is life.

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What can I say? I’m a straight guy. Yeah I care about plot and writing and development and all that jazz but I would be lying through my teeth if i said a little fanservice bothered me because it honestly doesn’t. Now this doesn’t mean i’m some freak hentai addict or a weirdo that gets off from cartoons but yeah those girls do be looking good and a little tits or ass angle is kinda nice to see sometimes. It’s not like i’m actively looking for it but i don’t drop an anime because of it. Even in a super serious anime like Code Geass the fan service would honestly make me laugh bc of how unnecessary it is but it didn’t bother me and i liked the angles. Am i the unpopular opinion here bc i see a lot of people complaining about fanservice but it’s in almost every anime

Oh, these? My boobies? My massive fucking titties? My super stuffed milkies? My honker bonker doinky boinkies? My fucking fabric stretching wind flapping gravity welling sex mounds? You mean these super duper ultra hyper god damn motherfucking tits?

Alright mom, you think that the Lego Death Star is too expensive of a set for my birthday which hypothetically- hypothetically lets take a look at the facts (which don't care about your feelings) in a situation where, hypothetically, you get it for my birthday. So, we take a look at the numbers it's $499.99 but it has 4,016 pieces, and that means it comes down to a price point of about 12.4 cents per piece and that's a fact, that's a fact (that doesn't care about your feelings). And even though that might be seemingly pricey in comparison to other lego sets, lets take a look at the minifigures. We have Han Solo in a Stormtrooper outfit, we have Luke Skywalker also in a Stormtrooper outfit, these are exclusives for the set since 2001. And it's a fact that you can recreate epic scenes- hypothetically, hypothetically, from A New Hope and Return of The Jedi if I had this set and I think the facts add up, that you should buy me this set (regardless of your feelings)

Hey guys did you know that in terms of water Pokemon inland, Vaporeon would be very capable of hunting grown humans? Their bodies being the size of a medium dog and weight are just enough to pounce on a man and throw him to the ground. Their bulky stats would allow them to shrug off and outlast any attempts by the human to fight them off, and that's not getting even into moves like Hydro Pump and Scald. But that's not all these water dogs have up their sleeves. Their bodies being so similar to water not only lets them hide in bodies of water and become nearly invisible to catch prey off guard, but allows them to enter the body through almost any orifice. Things do not get any better once a Vaporeon is inside of you. If asphyxiation doesn't kill you, the internal bleeding and displacement of internal organs certainly will. In addition, they are able to learn Charm, allowing them to take advantage of certain... desires humans may have and create even more opportunities to go in for the kill. But wait, there's more. Since Vaporeon is an omnivore, its cells would need to be able to digest proteins, such as those in meat. This only opens even more possibilities as to what these creatures are capable of.

GUYS IM MEETING AMOGUS!!!! 😭😭📮📮❤️❤️❤️ IM SERIOUSLY NOT LYING!!! My mom is also the impostor and she says i can meet him as long as i sign papers saying i can’t expose who he is to other crewmates 😱😱 This is so epic I will be updating and IM NOT LYING IF YOU THINK IM LYING THEN LEAVE 🤬🤬 Should I ask to report my mom cause she is sus?

⚠️ 🍀 ‼️ATTENTION ‼️💀👻ALL HALLOWEEN 🎃🕸HOES 😚💅ITS TIME TO GET 👻 SPOOKY SPOOKY👻☠️YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS👏GET 👊FISTED👊 BY A 💀SKELETON 💀SHOVE ✊🍭CANDY 🌽🌽CORN🍬IN YOUR 👉PUSSY 😽AND 🙅DONT 🙅 ♂️FORGET 😩🙌TO SUCK SOME 💏DRACULA 💉DICK 🍆💦 SO PUT 🔛 YOUR 👗👑 COSTUMES AND GO 🚪DOOR TO DOOR🚪👀👅💦BEGGING FOR THAT 😍GOOD GOOD😍 IMMA ☠️SPOOKY 👻🍑SLUT🌮 I'M 👁PREPARED 💁🏼AND READY TO GET SOME 🍫CHOCOLATE🍫 COVERED🍆DICK🌽 MY LEGS ARE OPEN FOR TREATING🍭🍭🍭