[Copypasta] Raid Shadow Legends changed my life

twitchquotes: i used to play fortnite all nite. no sleep! but ever since obama told me to try raid shadow legends for free, i am addicted. this game is a game. it has graphics. it has characters. best of all it has a loot box mechanic to enhance my experience even more by adding another exciting chance based layer to the game! two week ago i spend all my money becoming a raid shadow legend. now i live in a dumpster outside a mcdonalds with free wifi. at night i sneak into the mcdonalds just like my new racoon dad, stripey, taught me to do so that i can charge my phone. through the cracked screen i am still perpetually amazed at the graphics of this game... they look so real! thank you obama, you truly change my life!
twitch chat
January 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

I sexually identify as a centipede

twitchquotes: I sexually identify as a centipede. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of dropping dank memes on cucks everywhere. People say to me that a person being a centipede is Impossible and I’m *** retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon install 100 legs and two hollow fangs on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me “Nimble Navigator” and respect my right to meme everywhere and trigger endlessly.
twitch chat
November 2016

2016 US Election

I sexually Identify as

Tiffany's chandelier

twitchquotes: I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No. I go for the chandelier; it's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I love the cold. Thirty years later I get a postcard. I have a son. And he's the Chief of Police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years. She's never taken another lover. I don't care. I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.
twitch chat
November 2018

Minion Masters turned my life around

twitchquotes: I was sat in my car with the exhaust connected to the window, waiting to die, until I saw an ad on my phone for Minion Masters, at that moment I turned the engine off and decided to turn my life around. Now I have a 12 inch cock and 3 ferraris, and all it took was the $149.99 package (best value).
twitch chat
March 2019
Kripp

sellout

Kripp BMs an opponent in Hearthstone

twitchquotes: Hey guys, I want to tell you about a terrible experience I had. I'm a 12 year old boy, I'm quite a nice guy but I've had a rough time lately. My dad left us a few years ago and my mom beats me. I'm very shy and I am bullied at school. Anyways, I played Hearthstone to take my mind of all this stuff. I played Kripp and he said I was a "Mind-blowingly bad hunter", "This guy is a garbage human being", and he said that I'm "a super shit person". He hated me so much and this makes me very sad. :(
twitch chat
July 2019
Kripp

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing