[Copypasta] So as a joke, I fucked my friend in a Pekora cosplay

So as a joke, I went to my friend's house wearing Pekora's wig and clothes. I could barely stop my laughter as he went as red as a tomato and looked at me from head to toe with a bit of drool in his mouth. The way he stared made mde feel a bit funny too, but I decided to tease him more by taking off my clothes. He asked me, "Are you serious?" and I said "Yep peko." He went silent for what seemed like forever, so I asked him, "What's the matter peko?" He said he's confused, but then his boner got really hard, which made me take off his clothes. I expected him to scream, "Stop!" as I kissed him and stroked his cock, but he instead shouted "Oh God, Pekora!" which made me get a boner myself. Before I knew it, I was blowing him for the first time till he came. His semen was so thick, it got stuck inside my throat no matter how hard I swallowed. He then said, "I want to fuck you now!" and seeing that we've already gone that far and we were both naked, I obliged. A few hours later, the jerk went all pale and said to me "Why did we do that? Now I'm not fucking straight." But he still looked so cute all confused like that, so I took pity on him and reassured while wiping his cum off my face, "Let's just pretend I'ms till Pekora."
September 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

My kids were listening to Lil Nas X

My kids were listening to old town road by Lil Nas X and one of my kids asked me doesn’t he worship satan? Thinking face I said yes son sadly he does. I had to turn on No role modelz by J Cole to cheer him up My kids idolize someone better now! Thank you J Cole you’re a life saver!
April 2021

Russkis of Easterino

twitchquotes: Guten tag mutterfugers. Das ist Gestrud Hitlerino of 1945. We are in need of assisterino for defeating the Russkis of Easterino. If you would lend your Mods to assisterino, we would be danke and one with stream. Please no copy seig heil pasta
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Vaporeon

Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female PokΓ©mon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible PokΓ©mon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other PokΓ©mon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more
November 2020

Pokemon

Ben Shapiro Olive Garden breadsticks

Let’s say that, hypothetically, you really did have unlimited breadsticks. Now, since they are unlimited, that means that you will never run out. However, on Earth there is a limited supply of the materials required to make breadsticks. Thus, if I were to attempt to eat as many breadsticks as possible, I would not be able to as eventually you would sell out, am I correct? Now that we have established that there are infinite breadsticks but finite supplies to make them, would it not be reasonable to conclude that you are either breaking the laws of physics, or are lying to me? And since one cannot break the laws of physics, logically you must be lying to me. Facts don’t care about your feelings liberals, you have committed the crime of false advertising and must give me free food or I will inform the authorities.
September 2020

Ben Shapiro

Top Lel

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–€β–β–Œβ–‘β–β–Œβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–€β–€β–Œβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–€β–€β–Œβ–„β–ˆβ–Œβ–Œβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–„β–„β–β–’β–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–€β–„β–ˆβ–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–Œβ–‘β–β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–’β–„β–β–’β–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–β–€β– β–β–€β–„β–ˆβ–Œβ–Œβ–‘β–β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–β–’β–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ– β–β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–Œβ–‘β–β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β– β–β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–Œβ–‘β–β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–„β–β–’β–Œβ–ˆβ–€β–„β–„β–€β–€ β–β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–Œβ–€β–β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–β–’β–„β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–„β–ˆβ–β–β–ˆβ–€β–€β–„β–„β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–β–„β–„β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–β–β–ˆβ–€β–€β–„β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ ▐▄▄▀░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
November 2014
Text-to-Speech Playing