[Copypasta] So as a joke, I fucked my friend in a Pekora cosplay

So as a joke, I went to my friend's house wearing Pekora's wig and clothes. I could barely stop my laughter as he went as red as a tomato and looked at me from head to toe with a bit of drool in his mouth. The way he stared made mde feel a bit funny too, but I decided to tease him more by taking off my clothes. He asked me, "Are you serious?" and I said "Yep peko." He went silent for what seemed like forever, so I asked him, "What's the matter peko?" He said he's confused, but then his boner got really hard, which made me take off his clothes. I expected him to scream, "Stop!" as I kissed him and stroked his cock, but he instead shouted "Oh God, Pekora!" which made me get a boner myself. Before I knew it, I was blowing him for the first time till he came. His semen was so thick, it got stuck inside my throat no matter how hard I swallowed. He then said, "I want to fuck you now!" and seeing that we've already gone that far and we were both naked, I obliged. A few hours later, the jerk went all pale and said to me "Why did we do that? Now I'm not fucking straight." But he still looked so cute all confused like that, so I took pity on him and reassured while wiping his cum off my face, "Let's just pretend I'ms till Pekora."
September 2021
I used to be a real ad
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Hello this is Dan from the next room over

twitchquotes: Hello this is Dan from the next room over. Can you be quiet for 2 minutes it's almost 2am and I can still hear you. I have had a hard day doing REAL work for 13 hours and all I want is a bit of peace and quiet. LOL just kidding it's Tanner from highschool again, enjoy playing your kids games while I'm hanging out with Becca. We're watching re-runs of that time you lost that video game tournament. Peace out!
twitch chat
June 2019

Tanner from High School

A young Ben Shapiro insults his classmate

Let's say, hypothetically, your mom was wearing a yellow raincoat. Now, also in this scenario, there is a man needing to get home. When he sees your mom, he will yell "taxi, taxi!". Now, why does he do this? The answer is actually quite simple. Your mom is so fat she is the size of a taxi, and the yellow raincoat she is theoretically wearing is the same color as a taxi. Therefore, the man mistakes her for a taxi. So, what has this hypothetical scenario shown us? It has shown us that your mom is very, very, fat. Boom! Once again destroyed with facts and logic.
December 2020

Ben Shapiro

Foreign volunteers in Ukraine (variation of original chicken nuggets copypasta)

Holy shit. My commanding officer came into my barracks to bring me an MRE and I literally screamed at her and hit the plate of rations out of her hand. She started yelling and swearing at me in Ukrainian which I didn't understand and I slammed the door on her. I'm so distressed right now I don't know what to do. I didn't mean to do that to my superior officer but I'm literally in shock from the cruise missile strike. I feel like I'm going to explode. Why the fucking fuck is Zelenskyy losing? This can't be happening. I'm having a fucking breakdown. I don't want to believe the world is so corrupt that nato won't impose a no fly zone. I want a future to believe in. I want Zelenskyy to be president of a united Ukraine and fix this broken country. I cannot fucking deal with this right now. It wasn't supposed to be like this, I thought we had anti air coverage in western Ukraine???? This is so fucked.
March 2022

Russian Ukrainian War

Team Solo Mid

โ–’โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œ โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–โ–ˆโ–‘โ–’โ–ˆโ–‘โ–’โ–ˆโ–‘โ–’โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–‘โ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–ˆโ–Œ โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–Œโ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘ โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–ˆโ–Œโ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘ โ–’โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–Œโ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘ โ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–โ–ˆโ–‘โ–’โ–ˆโ–‘โ–’โ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–’โ–ˆโ–Œโ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–Œโ–โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–ˆโ–Œโ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
ascii art
January 2015

League of Legends

i peed white

twitchquotes: i peed white widepeepoHappy
twitch chat
July 2019
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