[Copypasta] Meet the Engineer TF2

twitchquotes: Hey look buddy, I'm an engineer. That means I solve problems, not problems like "What is beauty?" Because that would fall within the purview of your conundrums of philosophy. I solve practical problems, for instance: how am I going to stop some mean mother Hubbard from tearing me a structurally superfluous be-hind? The answer, use a gun, and if that don't work... Use more gun. Take for instance this heavy caliber tripod mounted lil' old number designed by me, built by me, and you best hope... Not pointed at you.
twitch chat
June 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

I hate MORBIUS. I HATE IT

Oh for the love of God. Enough with the MORBIUS. What’s even the joke???? β€œHahahaha hey guys the movie sucks but I pretend it’s good”???? THATS NOT EVEN A FUCKING JOKE. Holy shit my dick is going to fall out of its foreskin if I have to hear, β€œhehe it’s morbin time” ONE MORE TIME. Not only is it NOT funny, IT DOESNT EVEN MAKE SENSE. THE POWER RANGERS HAVENT BEEN RELEVANT IN DECADES. MORBIUS SUCKS THE MOVIE IS COMPLETE TRASH AND IM ASHAMED TO HAVE SPENT MONEY ON IT. You know…. I never would have seen the movie without all of these β€œmemes”(unfunny shitposts). I would have been a MUCH HAPPIER PERSON. So fuck your β€œMORBIUS” your β€œmighty morbin more morbs morbidly MORBIUS BULLSHIT” NO ONE CARES, YOU ARENT FUNNY. Does not a singular human being have any independent thought anymore???? β€œMorb morb morb morb” you’re like a BUNCH OF SEAGULLS. SEA GULLS. What the FUCK does β€œmorbin” even mean????? ITS NOT A WORD. ITS JUST GOBBLE GOOP. I feel like I am the last truly sentient human being on earth. IM BEING DRIVEN TO THE BRINK OF INSANITY. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. TAKE YOUR MORBIUS BULLSHIT, SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS, AND GO OUTSIDE. Maybe if you went outside you could get β€œmorb” bitches on your dick??!!! YOU LIKE THAT, YOU SEE WHAT YOUVE REDUCED ME INTO. I am a shell of a man and all of you collectively are to blame.This meme has spread like a debilitating illness AND I CANT GET AWAY FROM IT. THE FALL OF WESTERN SOCIETY IS HERE AND THIS COMPLETE UNFUNNY DRIBBLE OF A MEME IS PART OF THE PROBLEM. WHAT THE FUCK DOES β€œgETtiNg MoRBed” EVEN MEAN. it makes ZERO SENSE. ITS JUST GIBBERISH. FUCKING GIBB ER ISH. ITS NOT FUNNY. Saying β€œmorb” LIKE ITS ITS OWN PUNCHLINE IS NOT COMEDY. IT IS COMEDIC AND CULTURAL DEGRADATION. Are we really so stunted as a generation that even the mention of any word that starts with m-o-r-b is FUNNY??? IN WHAT FUCKING UNIVERSE. Is it funny because it isn’t funny because praising something bad is now good??????? HOW MANY LAYERS OF IRONY DO WE NEED. HOW FAR DOES THE RABBIT HOLE GO. This website has stripped me of EVERY LAST BRAINCELL. GOING ON REDDIT FEELS LIKE IM GETTING A SUPER HERO INDUCED LOBOTOMY. I hate MORBIUS. I HATE IT. I know I’m just going to get FLOODED WITH β€œget morbed, this guy got morbed, what morb does to a man” HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHQHQHAHAHAHAHAHWHHSHWBSQIISHWINSIQKSBDD SSSSOOOOOOOOOOOO FUNNNNNNNNYYYYYYY AGAGAGGAGHHHHHHHHH
July 2022

Morbius

God of War Kratos

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September 2021

Crying laughing hands on face emoji (ICANT emote)

β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£»β‘―β β ›β Šβ ‰β ‰β ‰β ‰β “β ›β «β’½β£»β’Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώ β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£»β —β ‹β β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β ˆβ ™β »β£Ÿβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώ β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ Ÿβ β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β‘€β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β ˆβ »β‘Ÿβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώ β£Ώβ£Ώβ‘½β β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β£€β£€β£Žβ €β €β ˆβ β ’β  β’€β €β €β €β €β €β ˜β’―β’Ώβ£Ώ β‘Ώβ‘Έβ β €β €β €β °β Άβ£Άβ£€β£Œβ‘€β €β €β ˆβ β ’β €β‘€β €β €β ‘β’”β ’β ’β’„β €β ˆβ’Žβ’Ώ β£·β ƒβ €β €β €β €β €β €β €β ‰β ‰β €β ‰β β β  β’€β €β ˆβ β €β €β €β ‘β €β €β ’β €β ˜β£Ώ β‘Ύβ €β €β €β „β €β €β €β €β  β Šβ‘²β €β „β‘€β €β €β ‘β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β’ƒβ €β’Ώ β‘‡β €β’€β Šβ €β €β €β €β£°β£β €β ¦β£€β €β ˆβ β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β ˜β €β’Έ β’§β‘°β ƒβ €β €β €β’€β£Œβ €β ‰β ™β ³β ¦β£­β£”β‘„β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β‘‡β‘Ύ β£Ώβ β €β €β €β’ β Ύβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£·β£Άβ£€β£€β‘€β ˆβ ™β ’β‘€β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β’±β’Ώ β£‡β£‡β €β €β‘°β ƒβ €β Ήβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£·β£Άβ£€β£ˆβ‘‘β’ β£€β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β’Έβ’Έ β£Ώβ£Ώβ£§β‘Όβ β €β €β €β ˆβ ›β Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ Ÿβ‘†β €β €β €β €β €β €β’Έβ’Ί β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£½β£¦β‘€β €β €β €β €β €β €β ‰β ™β ›β ›β ›β ‹β ‰β’Έβ‘‡β ±β €β €β €β €β €β €β£ˆβ£Ό ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣦⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Ⓒ⑇⠀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀①⣻⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣭⣒⣦⣀⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣠⒀⣼⣳⣯⣿⣷⣿⣀⣯⣾⣿⣿
December 2021

I sexually identify as an Attack Helicopter

I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm *** retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
November 2014

Classic

I sexually Identify as

I sexually Identify as the "I sexually identify as an attack helicopter" joke

I sexually Identify as the "I sexually identify as an attack helicopter" joke. Ever since I was a child, I've dreamed of flippantly dismissing any concepts or discussions regarding gender that don't fit in with what I learned in 8th grade bio. People say to me that this joke hasn't been funny since 2014 and please at least come up with a new one, but I don't care, I'm hilarious. I'm having a plastic surgeon install Ctrl, C, and V keys on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "epic kek dank meme trannies owned with facts and logic" and respect my right to shit up social media. If you can't accept me you're a memeophobe and need to check your ability-to-critically-think privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
March 2021

I sexually Identify as

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