[Copypasta] Meet the Engineer TF2

twitchquotes: Hey look buddy, I'm an engineer. That means I solve problems, not problems like "What is beauty?" Because that would fall within the purview of your conundrums of philosophy. I solve practical problems, for instance: how am I going to stop some mean mother Hubbard from tearing me a structurally superfluous be-hind? The answer, use a gun, and if that don't work... Use more gun. Take for instance this heavy caliber tripod mounted lil' old number designed by me, built by me, and you best hope... Not pointed at you.
twitch chat
June 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

KaceyTron was found dead in her trailer park on April 20th

twitchquotes: Kacey Tron was found dead in her trailer park on April 20th. The cause of death is speculated to be an overdose of marijuana. All her life Kacey Tron has tried to convince us of the evils of 420, but we did not believe her. Now the Illuminati has assassinated her. Please never 5get Kacey Tron. Stay 420no.
twitch chat
October 2014
Kaceytron

You toss and turn as Elon gently rubs your shoulders

You toss and turn as Elon gently rubs your shoulders. "You seem a little tense" says Elon, as you look at your bank account. Your phone shows $107 left to your name. You think to yourself while Elon rubs you down, you pull open Robin Hood, type in TSLA. Leaps $900 JAN 2023' are only $1 you can afford 1 leap. This is finally your chance to get rich, you'll be able to actually buy a Tesla. You ask Elon what the next Tesla will be. He says "U, for 'you'" as he smiles sweetly. You picture him dancing on stage explaining U S3XY to everyone multiple times as you smile back at him. All of a sudden Elon flips on the TV to CNBC to catch the tail end of Jim Cramer, you see a new law has been passed, "we believe options have inflated the markets into a bubble, we will be imposing a new rule next week only allowing accounts that qualify for day trades to also purchase options with a $25,000 barrier to entry." You start weeping aloud, you feel a caring hand wipe your tear away, it's Elon again, "what's wrong my little X'โˆšฯ€3?" Suddenly you wake, you're in a pool of sweat, at first you panic about the new options policy, then you're filled with relief realizing that options aren't restricted it was all a dream. You realize this was actually a vision to earn 200,000% gains to buy a TSLA leap. You log into RH, it welcomes you with your $107 balance, you plug in TSLA yolo 2023 @ $900 and realize the options are actually $20 each. The best you can do is $900 TSLA weekly expiring around Christmas. In a slight fit of despair you try to remember the feeling of Elon rubbing your cheek, and rub one out onto your stomach, then roll over back to sleep. A single tear rolls from your eye into your waifu pillow. YOLO you whisper.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

NOT. SELLING. GAMESTOP.

๐Ÿฆ ๐ŸŒ ๐Ÿฆ ๐ŸŒ ๐Ÿฆ ๐ŸŒ ๐Ÿฆ ๐ŸŒ ๐Ÿฆ ๐ŸŒ ๐Ÿฆ ๐ŸŒ NOT. FUCKING. SELLING. ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ NOT PRESSING โ€œSELLโ€ ON 1. FUCKING. SHARE. ๐Ÿ’Ž ๐Ÿคš ๐Ÿ’Ž ๐Ÿคš ๐Ÿ’Ž ๐Ÿคš ๐Ÿ’Ž ๐Ÿคš ๐Ÿ’Ž ๐Ÿคš ๐Ÿ’Ž ๐Ÿคš Iโ€™LL GO TO $0.00 BEFORE BILLIONAIRES GET ONE MORE PENNY FROM US. ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ CANโ€™T STOP. WONโ€™T STOP. GAMESTOP. ๐Ÿ’Ž ๐Ÿคš ๐Ÿ’Ž ๐Ÿคš ๐Ÿ’Ž ๐Ÿคš ๐Ÿ’Ž ๐Ÿคš ๐Ÿ’Ž ๐Ÿคš ๐Ÿ’Ž ๐Ÿคš TOMORROW, I THINK Iโ€™LL BE HOLDING THE LINE. MAYBE MAKE SOME TENDIES, TOO. ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ Iโ€™LL SEE EVERY ONE OF YOU BEAUTIFUL APES ON PLUTO SOON, AND ITโ€™S GOING TO JUST BE A SEA OF SPARKLING DIAMOND. ๐Ÿ’Ž ๐Ÿคš ๐Ÿ’Ž ๐Ÿคš ๐Ÿ’Ž ๐Ÿคš ๐Ÿ’Ž ๐Ÿคš ๐Ÿ’Ž ๐Ÿคš ๐Ÿ’Ž ๐Ÿคš I LOVE YOU, ALL, AND Iโ€™M NOT SELLING, AND Iโ€™M NOT FUCKING LEAVING. NOT ONE. FUCKING. SHARE!!! ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€ ๐Ÿš€
February 2021

WallStreetBets

DOGES and hunter is OP

twitchquotes: ๏ฝ—๏ฝˆ๏ฝ…๏ฝŽ ๏ผข๏ผฒ๏ผก๏ผฉ๏ผฎ๏ผค๏ผฅ๏ผก๏ผค๏ผŒ ๏ฝ๏ฝ™ ๏ฝˆ๏ฝ๏ฝŽ๏ฝ„ ๏ฝ๏ฝ•๏ฝ”๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ”๏ฝ‰๏ฝƒ๏ฝ๏ฝŒ๏ฝŒ๏ฝ™ ๏ฝ‡๏ฝ ๏ฝ”๏ฝ ๏ฝ”๏ฝˆ๏ฝ… ๏ผจ๏ฝ•๏ฝŽ๏ฝ”๏ฝ๏ฝ’๏ฝ„๏ผŽ ๏ฝ‰ ๏ฝ“๏ฝ”๏ฝ’๏ฝ๏ฝ‹๏ฝ… ๏ฝ”๏ฝˆ๏ฝ… ๏ฝ‚๏ฝ•๏ฝš๏ฝš๏ฝ๏ฝ’๏ฝ„ ๏ฝ๏ฝŽ๏ฝ„ ๏ฝ†๏ฝ…๏ฝ…๏ฝŒ ๏ฝ‰ ๏ฝˆ๏ฝ๏ฝ–๏ฝ… ๏ฝ“๏ฝ…๏ฝ˜ ๏ฝ—๏ฝ‰๏ฝ”๏ฝˆ ๏ฝ”๏ฝˆ๏ฝ… ๏ผค๏ผฏ๏ผง๏ผฅ๏ผณ ๏ฝ๏ฝŒ๏ฝŒ ๏ฝ‚๏ฝ…๏ฝƒ๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ‰๏ฝŽ๏ฝ‡ ๏ผฏ๏ผฐ
twitch chat
April 2014
Reynad

Rank 25 Casual

twitchquotes: ( ยฐ อœส–อกยฐ)โ•ญโˆฉโ•ฎHey Vegeta, what does the scouter say about Kripp's powerlevel? Its over Rank 25 CASUAL!!! ( ยฐ อœส–อกยฐ)โ•ญโˆฉโ•ฎ
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing