[Copypasta] Meet the Engineer TF2

twitchquotes: Hey look buddy, I'm an engineer. That means I solve problems, not problems like "What is beauty?" Because that would fall within the purview of your conundrums of philosophy. I solve practical problems, for instance: how am I going to stop some mean mother Hubbard from tearing me a structurally superfluous be-hind? The answer, use a gun, and if that don't work... Use more gun. Take for instance this heavy caliber tripod mounted lil' old number designed by me, built by me, and you best hope... Not pointed at you.
twitch chat
June 2019
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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I Love You

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣶⣶⣶⣶⣄⠀⣀⣴⣶⣶⣶⣶⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢈⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣸⣿⣿⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⢿⢿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠆⠠⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣦⣴⣿⡿⠿⢿⣿⣷⣄⠀⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⠆⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣿⡿⠁⠀⣰⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣧⡀⠀⠘⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣧⡀⠀⢰⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣇⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣷⣴⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣿⣿⣇⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿⣦⣀⠀⢀⣠⣾⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⣀⣼⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠿⢿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠿⢿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
ascii art
February 2021

Unrealized losses

She runs her hand through your thinning hair and laughs. “What?” you ask absentmindedly. You’re looking at Futures, and you’re surprised to see them red. “I want you to play with me.” She says it playfully, but the single ounce of you that isn’t totally aloof realizes she said this in earnest. And so you do. You throw your phone, and you pin her to the sofa, then the ground. You both roll about, wrestling, like lion cubs. Kissing, lightly biting. Sometime later, you both stop, breathing hard. She grabs an open bottle of red wine, and you pass it back and forth. Eventually she says, “I want to do that more.” But you’ve already found your phone again to check Futures. Still red. “Uh huh,” you say, distracted. She stares at you for a long moment, but you don’t realize it. Silently, she gets up and goes to bed, and you don’t say a word because you don’t notice. She hasn’t left you yet, but she will soon. Unrealized losses.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

haven’t done assassins in a while

twitchquotes: "alright, locket I guess” ResidentSleeper “haven’t done assassins in a while” ResidentSleeper “guess I’ll pick up this akali” ResidentSleeper “oh look, 6 assassins” ResidentSleeper
twitch chat
July 2019

Teamfight Tactics

Ben Brode increased Kripp's odds for going second

twitchquotes: Hi Kripp, Ben Brode here. After checking your account, we noticed that your odds for going second were accidentally set to "60" % instead of "50"%. We apologize for the inconvenience, as this change was mean to be applied to a "reynad" account. The issue is on our radar, and we will patch it when we can. Thank you and have a good day!
twitch chat
February 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

Is that your knee or you just excited to see me?

twitchquotes: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) is that your knee or you just excited to see me? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
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