[Copypasta] Meet the Engineer TF2

twitchquotes: Hey look buddy, I'm an engineer. That means I solve problems, not problems like "What is beauty?" Because that would fall within the purview of your conundrums of philosophy. I solve practical problems, for instance: how am I going to stop some mean mother Hubbard from tearing me a structurally superfluous be-hind? The answer, use a gun, and if that don't work... Use more gun. Take for instance this heavy caliber tripod mounted lil' old number designed by me, built by me, and you best hope... Not pointed at you.
twitch chat
June 2019
(โ–€ฬฟฤนฬฏโ”œโ”ฌโ”ดโ”ฌโ”ด Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Someone just posted that same paragraph...

twitchquotes: This is going to sound crazy, but someone posted that same paragraph just a minute ago. Here in this chat even. The odds of two people having the same paragraph-long thought is astronomical, especially in the same small website. Wow.
twitch chat
November 2018

Classic

George Orwell ruined my life

Iโ€™m a huge fan of 1984, especially the writing of the characters and dialogue in it. There was a girl I liked at school, and I tried to think of the smartest and most clever way to ask her out. I decided to be like Winston, telling her how much I used to hate her and how I wanted to rape her and smash her head into a wall. However, instead of being wooed like I expected, she got mad at me and told the Principal and said I was โ€œsexually harassingโ€ her. Itโ€™s clear she just wasnโ€™t intelligent enough for me and was embarrassed. However, no one wanted to hear my reasoning. Iโ€™ve been given detention and my parents have been informed, and despite how Iโ€™m clearly in the right everyone seems to think Iโ€™m some weirdo now. This truly is a dystopian society we live in......
September 2021

Any advice, Dad?

twitchquotes: Kส€ษชแด˜แด˜, แด›สœษชs ษชs Tสส€แดษดแด‡, แดœส€ sแดษด. Mส แดแดแด, Lแด€วซแดœษชsสœแด€, ษดแด‡แด แด‡ส€ แด›แดสŸแด… สแดแดœ แด€ส™แดแดœแด› แดแด‡. I แดŠแดœsแด› ษขแดแด› แด‹ษชแด„แด‹แด‡แด… แดแดœแด› แดา“ Cแด€ษดแด€แด…ษชแด€ษด แด‡สŸแด‡แดแด‡ษดแด›แด€ส€ส sแด„สœแดแดสŸ า“แดส€ sแด€สษชษดษข "F*แด„แด‹" สŸษชแด‹แด‡ แดœ. Oส€ แดแด€สส™แด‡ ษชแด› แดกแด€s า“แดส€ สแด‡สŸสŸษชษดษข "RIP" แดกสœษชสŸแด‡ แด˜แดœษดแด„สœษชษดษข แด€ แด‹ษชแด…...แด€ษดส แด€แด…แด ษชแด„แด‡, Dแด€แด…?
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Twilight Sparkle

โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“ โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“ โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“ โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“ โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–“ โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“ โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“ โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“ โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“ โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“ โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–„โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“ โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“ โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“
ascii art
November 2014

Ban one elephant

twitchquotes: ๐Ÿ˜ BAN ๐Ÿ˜ ONE ๐Ÿ˜ ELEPHANT ๐Ÿ˜ AND ๐Ÿ˜ YOU ๐Ÿ˜ GET ๐Ÿ˜ THE ๐Ÿ˜ WHOLE ๐Ÿ˜ PARADE ๐Ÿ˜
twitch chat
November 2019

Ban X Get The Whole Y

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