[Copypasta] Kappa dab

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It's not gay with socks on

When I was 13 years old a buddy of mine tried to convince me to fool around. I wasn't into it, and he told me it's not gay if you're wearing socks. I didn't believe him, went home, and asked my dad. That's 'gentleman's gay', hardly gay at all. Don't see it much these days. The 50s were a different time. What were we to do? We were typical boarding school boys, rich with vigor, skin slick with drying sweat and gritty earth from a game of pigskin. At night our young, virile bodies filled the dorm with sweet-musky vapors, like game-meat stewed with apple and peppercorn. You'd awake in darkness to the hushed, melodic rhythm of two pairs of white tube socks, barely visible in moonlight, bouncing on the hardwood floor. The deep bond of male friendship played like a thousand different human instruments. The wet claps of skin on skin, the gentle thud of heads on backboards, frenzied cries in the throes of climax. Wilbur, so fat and soft like tapioca pudding. His breasts were so like the real thing, what we fantasized of our future wives. Unwilling, defenseless Wilbur, so slow and uncoordinated in the dark. 10 of us would glaze his bare, pink flesh like a giant raspberry danish. He once had the audacity to tell Headmaster Redford. But Redford was a Deerfield boy once, he understood. So he joined us on our midnight hog hunts. Through college and years after we'd find time here and there, away from the wives at a family lake house. But it's been decades now - the times have certainly changed. If you wanted to do something private with another man, in your socks, it wasn’t ‘gay’. It was just two men, celebrating each other's strength.
August 2021

Here 💦 CUMS 💦 SANTA (Christmas Emoji Pasta)

Here 💦CUMS💦 🎅🏽Santa Claus,🎅🏽 here 💦CUMS💦 🎅🏽Santa Claus,🎅🏽 right down 👩🏽👸🏽slutty girl lane!👩🏽👸🏽 ❌🚫❌🚫STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!❌🚫❌🚫 Is your 👨🏻👨🏻daddy👨🏻👨🏻 not giving you enough 💦💦💦cummies?!💦💦💦 Hold up,🙅🏽🙅🏽🙅🏽 ho! It's 💦💦cummy💦💦 ❄️💦❄️SEASON!❄️💦❄️ Push✋🏽✋🏽 that 👨🏻👨🏻daddy👨🏻👨🏻 to the ⏩⏩side⏩⏩ and let a 👌🏽NEW👌🏽 father in 🏡YOUR CHIMNEY!! 🏡 🎅🏽🎅🏽🎅🏽Father CHRISTMAS,🎅🏽🎅🏽🎅🏽 the 👑👑KING👑👑 of 💦cummies!💦 That's right,👍🏼 he's been making 👧🏽little👧🏽 👧🏽girls👧🏽 squishy for 6️⃣ CENTURIES. Don't ❎❎ mind the old saying; he ONLY makes the 💦😫😫😈NAUGHTIEST😈😫😫💦girls ☁️squishy☁️! So send this to all the 😼nastiest😼 👧🏽girls👧🏽 you know and share❗️Those❗️Cummies❗️Get 0️⃣ back and you're a basic 🌑🌑coal-slinging bitch.🌑🌑 Get 5️⃣ back and you get 👅eaten👅 like 🍪cookies🍪and 👅💦slurped💦👅 like 🍼milk!🍼 Get 1️⃣0️⃣ back and 🎅🏽Santa's🎅🏽 big 🍆🍆COCK🍆🍆 will grow⏫⏫ 3️⃣ sizes inside of you!😫😩 Get 1️⃣5️⃣ back and you become Mrs. Claus, and get 🍑🍌🍆yummy 🍒🍭🍼nummy 🍼💦☁️squishy🍼💦☁️ 💧💧cummies💧💧 until next ⏩🌨☃Christmas!🌨☃
December 2021

Emoji Pasta

Christmas

Holiday Emoji

Holiday

Kripp's chat is not raising enough dongers

twitchquotes: Dearest Kripparian, this is the Donger Police. We have inside information that states your chat has not been raising a sufficient amount of dongers. We are going to have to shut down your stream if you don't ask your chat to raise their dongers.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

May the Fourth Emoji Pasta

May 2022

Holiday Emoji

Emoji Pasta

Holiday

Party Parrot

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣴⣶⣶⣶⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⠿⢋⣉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠻⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡿⠋⠀⢾⣿⡆⢠⣾⡿⢿⣦⢸⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⠁⠀⠀⠈⠉⠀⣾⡏⠀⠈⣿⡇⠀⠹⣷⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣇⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⢻⡇⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣆⣰⣿⠃⠀⠀⣸⡇⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿⠃⠀⠀⢀⣿⠁⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⠟⠀⠻⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠃⠀⠀⠀⣾⠇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠘⠿⣶⣤⣤⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣠⡾⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣼⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀
November 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing