To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at Subway yesterday:
I’m sorry I kept referring to Fred’s liberally mayo’d oven-roasted chicken sub as a “bukkake special”. I’m sorry that you kept demanding that your teenage son explain why he was laughing so hard. I’m extra sorry that this turn of events led you to practically yelling “ETHAN, WHAT IS A BUKKAKE SPECIAL?” in the middle of a crowded restaurant.
I used to be a real ad
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He knew he was a sellout
twitchquotes:
On November 10th, 2014, Octavian "Kripparian" Morosan was found to be severely delusional. He began wandering around his home, mumbling 'brofist' and 'subscribe'. As his weak fist was placed gently on the webcam, a single tear ran down his cheek. He knew he was a sellout.
twitch chat
Kripp
sellout
War Thunder is like playing chess
It's not that the game is addicting, it's just that there are no decent alternatives.
War Thunder is basically the intellectual version of the FPS games that all the stupid children and mongoloid brains play. Instead of just being based purely on twitch "skills" which require as much intellectual ability as closing popup spam windows, in War Thunder you have to use at least some tactics and strategy. FPS games are like playing Pong on high speed. War Thunder is like playing chess.
The art of gaming is simply dead for big brains. 20 years ago there were tons of games that required brainpower because PC gaming back then was by nerds and for nerds, but then the corporate suits took over and were like "broaden the appeal to we can make more sales" so everything got dumbed down to the lowest common denominator.
My GF asked me if I was "having fun" playing War Thunder, and I looked at her like she was a fucking retard to even consider that sentence a valid question. I don't have FUN playing War Thunder. This game routinely pisses me off and makes me rage. However, when I stomp the entire enemy team and crush them so utterly I can hear the lamentations of their mothers, I feel satisfaction.
I spent weeks grinding for Operation Winter. The vikings had a word for this. They called it Valhalla. Endless war. Endless combat. Knowing only victory and death. Bathing in the blood of your enemies. You get 15 kills and bask in glory and rewards, and think: what should I do now? Should I get in my Honda Fit and tour the local strip mall for my Triumph? Should I microwave some tendies and throw myself a great Feast? But there is only one option. There is only ever one option. To Battle!
Various cultures have alternatively described the gameplay loop of War Thunder as their vision of Heaven or Hell. It is both.
Anduin and Uther
twitchquotes:
Anduin is standing outside, looking through the window. He sees how Ben Brode SCAMAZes Tyrande. A small tear runs down his face. "Since Tyrande is the new Priest hero, nobody will ever fulfill my wishes and desires..." A muscular hand lays down on Anduin's shoulder. He turns around and gasps. It's Uther, the Lightbringer himself. "Don't worry, I will make sure you will get my Blessing of Might". Anduin's sorrow immediatly vanishes as he is about to receive his blessing. Uther smirks and reveals his 5/3 Assbringer. "Wow..." Anduin says. Uther slams his Assbringer into Anduin's 1/1 Lightspawn. "Well Played" Uther yells as he Consecrates all over Anduin's face. "BY THE HOLY LIGHT!"
twitch chat
Hearthstone
You call yourself rich?
twitchquotes:
You call yourself rich? Bro, I'm a Tier 3 subscriber to all the famous Twitch streamers, I don't use Notepad, I use Photoshop. I have all of the Adobe products and I wear Louis Vuitton on a daily basis. I donate $5000 to Pokimane every stream, talk to me again when you're rich.
twitch chat
Simps
Torture dance 2
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