To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at Subway yesterday:
I’m sorry I kept referring to Fred’s liberally mayo’d oven-roasted chicken sub as a “bukkake special”. I’m sorry that you kept demanding that your teenage son explain why he was laughing so hard. I’m extra sorry that this turn of events led you to practically yelling “ETHAN, WHAT IS A BUKKAKE SPECIAL?” in the middle of a crowded restaurant.
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
Can you stack these cans
twitchquotes:
hey matey can you stack this can jus likeme 
try like me! try like me! heres another can. : ) try like me to stack this cans can you can you ?? stack 4 or 5 whether you ask me or not. 
for ME
hey matey can you stack this can jus likeme try like me! try like me! heres another can. : ) try like me to stack this cans can you can you ?? stack 4 or 5 whether you ask me or not. for ME
twitch chat
At least I feel safe with Tyler
twitchquotes:
My dad beats me 
My mom beats me My brother beats me My sister beats me At least I feel safe with Tyler, because he can't beat anyone 
My mom beats me My brother beats me My sister beats me At least I feel safe with Tyler, because he can't beat anyone
twitch chat
Tyler1
League of Legends
Kripp should change his name to hl_kripp
twitchquotes:
Hello Kripparino, this is Noah Liferino, CEO of No Life Incorporated©. As you may already know, we are requiring you to change your Twitch name to hl_kripp (has life) as you no longer are a "no life". This was stated in the contract you signed under section 6 article 9 paragraph 420. This is to be enforced immediately.
twitch chat
Kripp
Chuck Testa and Cattarian
twitchquotes:
Hey Kripparian its me Chuck Testa. I'd personally like to Taxidermize your friend beast Cattarian. "Hey Kripp, it's me Cattarian and I approve of this method!" NOOOOPE it's just me Chuck Testa. Your cat would appreciate being worshiped and praised in the afterlife though. So, lets get that cats body and let me do my hobby.
twitch chat
Kripp
BOB “You’re doing GREAT out there!”
twitchquotes:
BOB “You’re doing GREAT out there!” I exclaim with as much enthusiasm as I can this late in the day. The scraggly vegan is the only one left in the tavern, his attention focused entirely on the card game we put out to entertain children and toddlers. “I don’t wanna talk about it guys” cries the man, knocking his cup of vegan water over. I try to reassure him that everyone has bad luck now and then, but he just ignores me, as always. This tavern attracts some strange types indeed.
twitch chat
Kripp