To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at Subway yesterday:
I’m sorry I kept referring to Fred’s liberally mayo’d oven-roasted chicken sub as a “bukkake special”. I’m sorry that you kept demanding that your teenage son explain why he was laughing so hard. I’m extra sorry that this turn of events led you to practically yelling “ETHAN, WHAT IS A BUKKAKE SPECIAL?” in the middle of a crowded restaurant.
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Teddy Roosevelt messages Kripp
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Hi Kripp, This is Teddy Roosevelt calling! I am concerned that you have formed a monopoly on the hearthstone section of twitch dot telly. You must renounce this darkness immediately or I will SMITE YOU like I did Andre Carnegie and Nelson Rockemsockem. You must give up your monopolistic ways or face the mighty wrath of the White House and the US Judicial system. Much love to Rania and the baby. Regards, yo boi TD
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When I was 12 yrs old, a male friend asked me if I was Homosexual or Heterosexual. I didn't know what either meant, but I did know we were called Homo Sapiens. So I said I was Homosexual. He laughed at me. He then explained the difference and then I said I must be heterosexual because I had sex with his mom.
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Had a colonoscopy today. My doctor was actually Russian. Now THAT is what I call RUSSIAN MEDDLING! They put me to sleep w/ same stuff Michael Jackon used. When I woke up, I MOON-walked right out of the hospital!
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Kripp uploads a video that breaks Pornhub's terms of use
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Kripp