[Copypasta] To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at Subway yesterday:

To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at Subway yesterday: I’m sorry I kept referring to Fred’s liberally mayo’d oven-roasted chicken sub as a “bukkake special”. I’m sorry that you kept demanding that your teenage son explain why he was laughing so hard. I’m extra sorry that this turn of events led you to practically yelling “ETHAN, WHAT IS A BUKKAKE SPECIAL?” in the middle of a crowded restaurant.
August 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

They weren't sus

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠛⠛⠛⡟⣿⣿⠛⡟⠛⠛⢛⡛⢿⡿⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿⡇⣉⣉⠄⡇⢈⣉⣹⣷⡄⢡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣸⣿⣇⣿⣿⣀⣇⣈⣉⣉⣿⣇⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠛⣿⠟⢻⡿⢻⠛⣛⣛⣻⢛⣛⡛⢿⠛⣛⣛⣻⠛⢿⣿⢻⡛⣛⡛⢛⣛⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⠙⢰⡈⠇⣾⠄⣉⣉⣿⢈⣉⠁⣼⠄⣉⣉⣿⠄⣄⠻⢸⣾⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣀⣾⣧⣰⣿⣀⣉⣉⣹⣸⣿⣦⣸⣀⣉⣉⣹⣠⣿⣦⣸⣿⣿⣇⣸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠉⠉⠉⣿⡿⠿⠛⠋⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⣻⣩⣉⠉⠉ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠄⠄⠉⠉⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠄⠄⠄ ⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠄⠉⠉⠉⣋⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⠛⢷⡀⠄⠄ ⣿⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⣾⣿⣷⣄⣀⣀⣀⣠⣄⣢⣤⣤⣾⣿⡀⠄ ⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣹⣿⣿⡿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢟⢁⣠ ⣿⣿⣄⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠉⣉⣉⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣥⡀⠉⢁⡥⠈ ⣿⣿⣿⢹⣇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠒⠛⠛⠋⠉⠉⠛⢻⣿⣿⣷⢀⡭⣤⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⡼⣿⠷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣠⣿⣟⢷⢾⣊⠄⠄ ⠉⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⣈⣉⣭⣽⡿⠟⢉⢴⣿⡇⣺⣿⣷ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠐⢊⣡⣴⣾⣥⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠟⠋⠉⠉⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⠉⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠉⣿⣿⠿⠋⠉⠉⠉⠙⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⡏⠄⢾⣿⣿⣿⡄⣀⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⣿⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣆⣀⣿⣿ ⣿⣷⣄⡀⠉⠉⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⣿⣦⡀⠉⠉⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⠟⠻⣿⣿⣶⣶⡄⠄⢻⣿⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠄⣿⡟⠛⣿⣿⣷⣶⣤⠄⢹⣿ ⣿⣇⠄⠙⠻⠿⠟⠃⢀⣾⣿⣄⠈⠛⠿⠿⠛⠄⣰⣿⣧⡀⠙⠻⠿⠿⠋⠄⣼⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣤⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣤⣤⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣤⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
March 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Yet Another Among Us Crewmate

░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█████░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░████░░░░░███░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░██████████░░░░░░████████████░░░░░░░░ ░░░░█░░░░░░░█░░░░████░░░░░░░░░░██░░░░░░░ ░░░██░░░░░░██░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░██░░░░░░░░ ░░░█░░░░░░░█░░░░░░███░░░░░█████░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░█░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░███████░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░███████░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░█░░░███████░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░█░░░█░░░░░█░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░█░░░█░░░░░█░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░█░░░█░░░░░█░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░█░░░█░░░░░█░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░█░░░█░░░░░██████░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░█████░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
December 2021

Among Us / Amogus

To be fair, you need a very high IQ to understand The Bible

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand The Bible. The humour is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also Jesus’s nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realise that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike The Bible truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in God’s existential catchphrase "Never trust anyone completely but God." which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as King James's genius wit unfolds itself on the pages. What fools.. how I pity them. 😂 And yes by the way, I DO have a Bible tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.
August 2021

I'm epic gamer style

twitchquotes: Yeah I’m not surprised your girl wants to leave you for me. Not my fault I’m fucking epic gamer style. Why wouldn’t she wanna be with me lol I have a 3.2 kd in Fortnite, backseat game in Twitch chats, and I reddit hard as fuck. Sorry for being too dope
twitch chat
May 2019

Crazy anime girl

⠄⠄⣠⠞⠁⢠⡞⣡⡴⠟⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠉⠛⠓⠶⣤⣙⢦⡙⢦⡀⠄⠄ ⢀⡔⠁⠄⣰⣿⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠛⢿⣆⠙⡄⠄ ⠋⠄⠄⣼⡟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⢷⡜⣆ ⠄⠄⣴⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣶⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣹⡏ ⢤⣰⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⢀⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⠟⣿⣿⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⣿⠉ ⠄⣼⣠⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣼⣉⣷⣤⡀⠄⠄⠄⣼⠏⠄⠹⠄⠙⣿⣦⠄⠄⣿⠄ ⠄⠛⡿⣧⠄⠄⢀⣴⠋⠿⠋⠻⣦⣝⠻⣦⣤⡾⢃⣠⡴⠆⠄⢸⠟⣿⣷⣄⡇⠄ ⠄⠄⡇⠹⣦⣀⣼⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢙⣻⣶⣿⣟⠛⠉⠄⠄⠄⢸⠄⡟⠘⠿⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⡇⠄⣿⢿⡇⣷⠄⠄⣠⣴⠾⠛⠋⠁⠈⠙⠛⠶⣤⡄⠄⢸⠄⢻⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⢠⠇⠄⣿⣸⡇⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⡀⢸⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⢸⠄⢸⣿⣿⡇⡇⠄⠄⠄⢠⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⡀⠄⠄⢸⡇⢸⡄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⢸⠄⣾⣿⣿⡇⣧⡀⠄⠄⠄⢿⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⡾⠃⠄⠄⣸⠃⠄⡇⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⡟⢀⣿⣿⣿⠇⣿⣷⣄⡀⠄⠄⠛⠷⢦⣴⠶⠟⠁⠄⣠⣾⣇⠄⠄⣿⠄⠄⠄ ⢠⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⢠⣿⣿⣿⡟⠲⢤⣀⡀⠄⠄⣀⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⢻⡇⠄⠄ ⣼⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣼⣿⣿⣿⣧⣤⣤⣤⣭⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⣤⣼⣿⣤⣤
January 2019

Weebs

Text-to-Speech Playing