[Copypasta] To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at Subway yesterday:

To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at Subway yesterday: I’m sorry I kept referring to Fred’s liberally mayo’d oven-roasted chicken sub as a “bukkake special”. I’m sorry that you kept demanding that your teenage son explain why he was laughing so hard. I’m extra sorry that this turn of events led you to practically yelling “ETHAN, WHAT IS A BUKKAKE SPECIAL?” in the middle of a crowded restaurant.
August 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

I sexually Identify as an the sun

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as an the sun. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of slamming hydrogen isotopes into each other to make helium & light and send it throught the galaxy. People say to me that a person being a star is Impossible and I’m fucking retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon inflate me with hydrogen and raise my temperature to over 6000 °C. From now on I want you guys to call me “Sol” and respect my right to give you vitamin D and probably sunburns. If you can’t accept me you’re a fusionphobe and need to check your astral privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
twitch chat
August 2015

I sexually Identify as

Gold Cards should have a slight buff

twitchquotes: I feel like Gold Cards should have a slight buff, like +1 attack or -1 mana or something... not that big of a change, just so it’d make Gold Cards worth it..
twitch chat
September 2018

Hearthstone

This is the Hygiene Police

twitchquotes: (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿) This is the Hygiene Police, we have reason to suspect you didn't wash your hands after exiting the bathroom. Please prepare for a full body cavity search. (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿)
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

As soon as you stop being hardcore

twitchquotes: "H-h-ey Rania, could we go on a date when I visit Europe for ESGN?" Kripp blushes as he asks him timidly over skype. "It doesn't have to be serious, just coffee or something." Rania smirks. "Sure Kripp, as soon as you stop being hardcore," She types while tucking Frump
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Angry emoji

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡯⠟⠛⠋⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⠛⠓⠿⠿⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡯⠞⠋⢁⡀⠤⠀⠒⠀⠀⠀⠐⠒⠠⢀⠢⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⠽⠛⠃⣀⠔⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣤⣤⠤⠤⠄⠈⠀⠑⢀⡀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠿⠛⠿⠛⠃⠀⠀⡁⠁⠀⢀⣠⣴⣾⡿⠛⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⢴⠤⢄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⠟⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡿⡿⢦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣫⠤⠔⠚⠛⠒⠒⠚⠛⠯⠙⠢⡕⠈⠢⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣷⡇⠘⡄⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠠⢴⡾⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⠄⠚⠦⢀⣀⣧⠤⠔⠒⠛⣉⣉⣉⣉⣉⣉⣉⡁⢻⣦⡀⠀⠀⠄⣴⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡿⠁⢀⠤⠒⣉⡥⠴⠖⢛⡯⣍⠉⢉⠤⢤⡀⢀⠬⣍⢉⠿⢿⣦⡀⠈⢻⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡇⠠⣡⢴⡟⠓⠦⡀⣰⠃⠀⠈⠳⠁⠀⠀⠻⠃⠀⠘⠋⠀⠀⠷⠓⡀⠀⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣷⣾⠣⡾⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢄⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠆⠘⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⠠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⢀⠀⣀⣼⣆⠈⢧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⠀⢹⡀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⢠⠤⠐⠶⠂⠐⠒⠈⢹⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠈⢗⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣇⠀⢇⠀⠀⠀⠀⡷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⣌⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣤⣄⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠈⢆⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠘⠀⠀⠀⠀⣁⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡿⡿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠈⢾⡄⠀⠀⠘⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠈⠇⠀⠀⠀⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠄⠀⠀⢠⠀⠀⢰⣠⣯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠃⠀⠀⠀⠉⢻⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣠⠴⠟⢋⡁⠾⠿⠋⠙⠻⠋⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣀⣀⣠⠏⠀⡸⠀⠀⢸⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢱⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⡖⠤⣤⣀⣼⡷⠞⢁⣠⣾⠃⠀⠀⣼⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣗⡇⠀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⠀⠀⣤⣀⠀⣰⣡⣴⠖⠻⣕⠀⢺⠻⠊⠁⠀⣠⣾⣯⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠘⢧⡴⠛⣆⣠⠖⢄⣀⣞⣉⣲⡾⠵⠚⠋⠉⠐⠈⠀⠉⠛⠓⠀⠀⠒⠒⠿⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⡉⠛⠛⠛⢛⣛⣉⣩⣥⡄⠒⠂⠀⠀⠀⠁⠉⠀⢀⣠⣌⣷⣖⣤⣄⣀⠘⠻⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣭⣭⣭⣿⣿⣻⣿⣷⣷⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣵⣆⣬⣘⣻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣭⣛⣿
July 2022
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