[Copypasta] To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at Subway yesterday:

To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at Subway yesterday: I’m sorry I kept referring to Fred’s liberally mayo’d oven-roasted chicken sub as a “bukkake special”. I’m sorry that you kept demanding that your teenage son explain why he was laughing so hard. I’m extra sorry that this turn of events led you to practically yelling “ETHAN, WHAT IS A BUKKAKE SPECIAL?” in the middle of a crowded restaurant.
August 2021
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TheIlluminati emote circle

ᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚ  BuddhaBar  SmoocherZ  KevinTurtle ᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚ ᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚ  TooSpicy ᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚ  ANELE ᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚ ᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚ  PogChamp ᅚᅚ  TheIlluminati ᅚᅚ  CoolStoryBob ᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚ ᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚ  DansGame ᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚ  cmonBruh ᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚ ᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚ  DatSheffy  Kreygasm  WutFace
twitch chat
June 2016
Forsen

Forsen how DARE you miss lethal

twitchquotes: Forsen how DARE you miss lethal. You are a pro gamer. I look up to you as my hearthstone mentor, perhaps even as a father figure. My dad wouldn't miss lethal, and neither should you...
twitch chat
November 2014
Forsen

Moderation is one of the most useful jobs to society (Reddit moderator goes off)

I'm seeing many bigoted comments down there so I just want to make this clear : any hate towards moderators will result in a permanent ban from this subreddit with no warning. This includes, but is not limited to, calling moderation a "fake job" or saying that we "do it for free". Moderation is one of the most useful jobs to society. Behave. Or get banned.
December 2021

Reddit

MODS

The year is 2025. Kripp lies on his deathbed

twitchquotes: The year is 2025. Kripp lies on his deathbed, the countless years of veganism finally having taken their toll. He struggles to adjust his eyes to the glare of his computer screen, yearning to view his beloved twitch chat one more time. All he sees is degenerate weeb spam. His eyes brim with tears. He begins gasping his final breath, and in his final moments he tells Rania "K"
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

Absence of the "legendary" card back

twitchquotes: ( ರ Ĺ̯ ರೃ ) Hello Kripparian. Reginald and Dan Dinh, Owners of Team SoloMid™ here. We gained access to your Hearthstone account and couldn't help but notice the absence of the "legendary" card back. This poorly reflects on Team SoloMid, and, as such, we have decided to remove you from the team. Please return your jacket. Thank you ( ರ Ĺ̯ ರೃ )
twitch chat
April 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing