To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at Subway yesterday:
I’m sorry I kept referring to Fred’s liberally mayo’d oven-roasted chicken sub as a “bukkake special”. I’m sorry that you kept demanding that your teenage son explain why he was laughing so hard. I’m extra sorry that this turn of events led you to practically yelling “ETHAN, WHAT IS A BUKKAKE SPECIAL?” in the middle of a crowded restaurant.
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
Why do so many people watch this washed up player?
twitchquotes:
Why do so many people watch this washed up player? He is so bad at this game. Why is his hair so long? Does hair length have a connection to a players skill? Is that why girls are so bad at league?
twitch chat
imaqtpie
League of Legends
Hearthstone is 100% luck
twitchquotes:
This game is 100% luck. Example: Today I am playing hunter. I arcane shot face turn 1 and he topdecks voodoo doctor like wtf can’t deal with these lucky draws
twitch chat
Hearthstone
Voluteering at a Food Bank
twitchquotes:
Hey Imaqtpie! I'm gonna volunteering at a Food Bank soon. Thanks for playing a fatty Yasuo game to teach me the tips on feeding! Thanks in advance and God bless
twitch chat
imaqtpie
Tyler1 is my future mirror
twitchquotes:
No, I don’t jerk off to Tyler1 because I’m gay, I jerk off to Tyler1 because he is what I will become with hard enough training. I can get out of diamond. I can go to the gym. Tyler1 is not a human but instead an idea. The idea of my life working, the idea of my not getting bad teammates (who are always at fault in my games seriously wtf am I supposed to do) and the idea of me climbing. When I see Tyler1 I don’t get excited because I’m gay but because he is my future mirror.
twitch chat
Tyler1
KappaPride
I think Zarya smells like dandelions and a cool breeze
twitchquotes:
I think Zarya smells like dandelions and a cool breeze. Her colored hair gives of the scent of strawberries in bloom, and her pink gun leaves a smell of bubblegum when shot. Her body smells of sweat, and a strong womanhood. I would love to stuff my head right into her armpit and smother myself. To smell her tomboyish energy. I would die for this..
twitch chat