To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at Subway yesterday:
I’m sorry I kept referring to Fred’s liberally mayo’d oven-roasted chicken sub as a “bukkake special”. I’m sorry that you kept demanding that your teenage son explain why he was laughing so hard. I’m extra sorry that this turn of events led you to practically yelling “ETHAN, WHAT IS A BUKKAKE SPECIAL?” in the middle of a crowded restaurant.
I used to be a real ad
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Bowling simulator: E-Bowler
twitchquotes:
Hello my name is Kenneth Jizbombski, president of Viral Games, Inc. Recently sales of our most popular Bowling simulator "E-Bowler" have plummeted. Please help my small company by going out and getting E-Bowler any way that you can. I want E-Bowler to spread infecting people with it's incredible gameplay!
twitch chat
Kripp
I’m struggling to accept religious people as human (/r/atheism parody)
This has been growing in me for a while, but the more I see what’s going on in africa and the middle east, and all the bullshit around the world in the name of religion, I’ve gotten to a point where I’m looking at all religious people as not even human. I don’t know if I quite see them as livestock or wild animals or whatever, but it’s pretty close to it. I still don’t understand why people say to respect other people’s religious beliefs. I certainly don’t. I actually think religious beliefs should be mocked, ripped apart, criticized relentlessly, and actually probably be made illegal. I hope to see a future where believers are looked at as mentally ill and mentally retarded, who need to be locked up and treated, or sent to jail. I’m just so disgusted by all of them.
Smirk
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Hey I'm a really nice guy
twitchquotes:
Hey I'm a really nice guy. I've been playing csgo for quite a while and I'm feeling like boosting some girl gamers (preferably ones that look kinda good, I'd appreciate if you could send a picture before beginning.) and this because often when I talk to girls otherwise they don't take my csgo-skill in to consideration. Many girls through the years did friendzone me and I'm really tired of all douchebags taking the girls who deserve better.
twitch chat
CSGO
Among Us in Real Life Full Lyrics
Among Us in real life (sus, sus)
Among Us in real life (sus, sus)
Playing Among Us in real life, spaceship with my crew
Gonna split up, spread out 'cause we all got tasks to do
Gotta find the imposter as they try to sabotage
Who can we trust in this Among Us entourage?
Heard a sound, turned around, looking up, looking down
Then I find a dead body
Gotta blow the horn, emergency discussion, who should we believe?
Can't decide, so, now we leave, not sure what I'm about to see
Will it be a dead body? Still have a task I must complete
Who's the impostеr?
Looking sus, who can we trust?
Who's the imposter?
Looking sus, who can wе trust?
Who's the imposter?
Looking sus, who can we trust?
Who's the imposter?
Looking sus, who can we trust?
I'm a ghost, I'm my biggest fear, got killed by the imposter
I was playing in the game, but now I'm just a watcher
I'm paying attention using my 360 vision
If it gets quiet, I listen
Make sure there's nothing I'm missing
Who's the imposter?
Looking sus, who can we trust?
Who's the imposter?
Looking sus, who can we trust?
Who's the imposter?
Looking sus, who can we trust?
Who's the imposter?
Looking sus, who can we trust?
It wasn't me (or me)
It definitely wasn't me
No one can be trusted because someone is lying
We still have tasks to do, so, let's split up so we can win
Everyone is sus so let this last round begin
There's an imposter among us
Trying to take something from us
We're still over here working
While she's just ghosting above us
Someone's under suspicion
Sabotaging our mission
Doing my task in the kitchen
Until I stop, look, and listen
Who's the imposter?
Looking sus, who can we trust?
Who's the imposter?
Looking sus, who can we trust?
Who's the imposter?
Looking sus, who can we trust?
Who's the imposter?
Looking sus, who can we trust?
I'm the I-M-P-O-S-T-E-R, that's me
While everyone's doing tasks, I'm going through vents on a killing spree
Yeah, I'm sus in Among Us
We can discuss whoever took your life
But if you think you're running this game, oh-yeah
That's me holding this knife
I'm the imposter
Looking sus, who can we trust?
I'm the imposter
Looking sus, who can we trust?
I'm the imposter
Looking sus, who can we trust?
I'm the imposter