To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at Subway yesterday:
I’m sorry I kept referring to Fred’s liberally mayo’d oven-roasted chicken sub as a “bukkake special”. I’m sorry that you kept demanding that your teenage son explain why he was laughing so hard. I’m extra sorry that this turn of events led you to practically yelling “ETHAN, WHAT IS A BUKKAKE SPECIAL?” in the middle of a crowded restaurant.
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
Hey Kripp, this is Jessica from Vegan Heritage Corp
twitchquotes:
Hey Kripp, this is Jessica from Vegan Heritage Corp. We scanned our ancestry data-base and it appears you're related to the dinosaur known as Willy Vegansaurus the Herbivorous Dinosaur from 194 B.C We have tried contacting him, but it appears he died from a giant 'Meat-eor' sent from Villa the Spaghettisaurus from space. We fear he's making giant meatballs again, we recommend going carnivorous or earth could be doomed again!
twitch chat
Kripp
Here you go again you simp
twitchquotes:
Here you go again you simp. pokiYikes If youre so butthurt about poki being the cooler, swagger and more beautiful streamer then why dont you just stop and think about what she means to me. I give her my paycheck. I almost had to take a mortgage out just to buy food but you know what? It doesnt matter. Pokimane reads when I sub each month and she gives me a smile so its worth. Sorry for rambling I just cant deal with you pathetic simps ✋
twitch chat
Pokimane
Simps
Look, I can play Death Standing too!
twitchquotes:
Look, I can play Death Standing too!: ▲ Enter Private Room > Options > Skip. ▲ Take a Shower > Options > Skip > Options > Skip > Options > Skip. ◉ to Use Toilet (Standing) > Options > Skip. ✖ to Use Toilet (Sitting) > Options > Skip. ▲ Leave Private Room > Options > Skip.
twitch chat
Happy Thanksgiving emoji
Happy 🦃 Thanksgiving 🦃! Guess what 😯❓it’s that time ⏰ of year 🗓 to gobble 🦃 gobble 🦃 gobble 🦃 up ⬆️ those dicks 🍆 chicks 🐥 and bicks 🤨 (big dicks) 🍆😫😫😫😫 I bet 😏 you’re all 😤😤😤 HORNY-copia 🌽 🥔🥕🌶🍆♋️👀👉👌 for SKANKS-giving 🤪😔🤤🤤😃😁😁 you’ll be saying 💬 thanks 🙏 for giving me all 😫 this 😫 COCK 🥳🥳🥳🥳 send this to 🔟 of your thiccest sluts with those hot 🥵 hot 🔥 tasty 🤤😋 peach pies 🥧 🍑 😏😏 if you know 
what I mean ☺️😘😋 if you get 1️⃣ back 🙄🤬😡 then you and that slut 🤤🤤🤤😫😫😫 have to appropriate Native American culture together 😔🪶🏕 if you get 3️⃣ back 😈🤑 you’re going to get your turkey 🦃 eaten 😋😋😉😉😏 tomorrow night 😱😱😱😱 if you get 5️⃣ back 👀👀 you will be eating your cousin’s 👶🏻 peach 🍑 pie 🥧 just like you’ve always 💯💯💯wanted 😋🤤🥵 if you get 7️⃣ back 🛶 you’ll become 😲😲 a pilgrim 🎩👞 and be the villain 🦹♀️ of American 🇺🇸 history 📖📕📚 😔😔😔 if you get all 1️⃣0️⃣ back 🤯😱🤯😱🤯😱🤯 you’ll be feasting 🤤😏 this thanksgiving 👀👀 in more ways than one 😫😏👀🚼💘 okay you sexy 😇 sexy 😈 gobbling turkey poos 🦃🦃🦃 it’s time ⏰ for me to go ➡️ atone 🤣for the sins ✝️ 😔of my ancestors💀💀💀👩🏼❤️💋👨🏼🤰🏼🤱🏼👩👧🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪
what I mean ☺️😘😋 if you get 1️⃣ back 🙄🤬😡 then you and that slut 🤤🤤🤤😫😫😫 have to appropriate Native American culture together 😔🪶🏕 if you get 3️⃣ back 😈🤑 you’re going to get your turkey 🦃 eaten 😋😋😉😉😏 tomorrow night 😱😱😱😱 if you get 5️⃣ back 👀👀 you will be eating your cousin’s 👶🏻 peach 🍑 pie 🥧 just like you’ve always 💯💯💯wanted 😋🤤🥵 if you get 7️⃣ back 🛶 you’ll become 😲😲 a pilgrim 🎩👞 and be the villain 🦹♀️ of American 🇺🇸 history 📖📕📚 😔😔😔 if you get all 1️⃣0️⃣ back 🤯😱🤯😱🤯😱🤯 you’ll be feasting 🤤😏 this thanksgiving 👀👀 in more ways than one 😫😏👀🚼💘 okay you sexy 😇 sexy 😈 gobbling turkey poos 🦃🦃🦃 it’s time ⏰ for me to go ➡️ atone 🤣for the sins ✝️ 😔of my ancestors💀💀💀👩🏼❤️💋👨🏼🤰🏼🤱🏼👩👧🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪
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