[Copypasta] To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at Subway yesterday:

To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at Subway yesterday: I’m sorry I kept referring to Fred’s liberally mayo’d oven-roasted chicken sub as a “bukkake special”. I’m sorry that you kept demanding that your teenage son explain why he was laughing so hard. I’m extra sorry that this turn of events led you to practically yelling “ETHAN, WHAT IS A BUKKAKE SPECIAL?” in the middle of a crowded restaurant.
August 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Annoyed Anime Girl

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⢀⡀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣎⣀⣀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⡿⠏⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠇⠀⠀⡈⠀⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⢸⠀⠈⢳⣶⣤⣄⠀⠈⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠹⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠈⣼⡇⠀⠘⠻⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢤⣀⡀⠌⠀⠀⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⡏⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⡿⠋⢰⢠⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⢷⡃⠀⠀⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣯⣾⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⣼⣿⡄⠀⠈⠀⢑⠶⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⣤⣤⣴⠟⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠙⢿⠃⠀⠀⢸⣿⣟⠀⠀⢀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠠⠴⠀⠀⠀⠿⠿⠿⠧⠾⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠃⠀⠀⠾⠿⠿⠟⠁⠀
April 2020

SPAM THIS COKE TO MAKE DYNASTY CHOKE

twitchquotes: SPAM DrinkPurple THIS DrinkPurple COKE DrinkPurple TO DrinkPurple MAKE DrinkPurple DYNASTY DrinkPurple CHOKE DrinkPurple
twitch chat
March 2018
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

Reacting to content takes skill

twitchquotes: Reaction when done right is a true artform. The sheer effort, persistence and dedication it takes for someone to master the craft is astounding. The skill and talent of the contestants on masterchef pales in comparison to the skill and talent of the true master watching them, pausing at the precise moment to achieve the pinnacle of comedy by releasing gas audibly from his colon. It is truly exhilarating, even a little arousing, to witness a true master of reacting at work.
twitch chat
December 2021

Sylvester the Cat

──────────────────────▐▒█─────██──────── ─────────────────────▐▓─█──▐─▄███─────── ─────────────────────▐──███████▌──────── ─────────────────────▐─███████─█▌─────── ─────────────────────▐█████████▌──────── ─────────────────────██░░██████▌──────── ────────────█▀▀▀▀█──██░░░███░▐█───────── ──────────█▀▀█───▀▀███░░▐██░░██───────── ─────────█▀─────────██░░███░░█▌──▄────── ────────██────▀▀██───▀▀▀▀██░▐▌▀▀▀▀▀▀█▄── ───────██────────██▄████▄▀▀▀▀───────▀█▌─ ───────█─────────▐▀████████▄──────────█─ ───────█▄────────▐─███████████▀▀▀▀▄───▀▌ ─────▄▄─█▄───────▐─▀█████████▀▌───▌────█ ────██─█─█▄──▄▄──▐▄─▀███████▀─▌────────█ ────█──█──▀▀▀▀█▄──█▄──▀▀▀▀▀──██────────█ ───▐█──█▄──────▀██─▀▀▀▄▄▄─▄█▀▀▄────────█ ──▐▓██─█─────────▀█─────▀▀▀▄█▀▀█▄▄─────█ ─▐█──█─█▌─────────▀█─────██▀────▀▀█▄─█─█ ▄▀▀─▒▀█▓█▌─────────█────██─────────▀▀███ ▐──▒▀───▀█─────────█───██─────────────█─ ▐─▓▓─────▓▌───────▐█───██▄▄───────────── ▐─██────▄█▌──────▐█▌──██████▌─────────── ─▀█▀▀▀─▄█▌──────▐█▌──▒███████▌────────── ──▐───▄▌───────▐█▌───█████████▌───────── ──▐▄─██▌──────▐█▌────██████████───────── ───████──────██▌─█──▒███████████──────── ───████▒──▐████─▓▓──████████████▌─────── ───███████████▌─────█████████████─────── ───███████████──────█████▒███████▌────── ───██████████▌──────▒████▒─███████▌───── ───▓█████████────────█████──███████───── ────████████▌────────██████──██████───── ─────██▒───█─────────██████──██████▌──── ──────────▐▌──────────██████──█████▌──── ──────────█───────────███████─█████▌──── ─────────▐▌────────────████████████▌──── ─────────█▌────────────████──▓█████───── ─────────█──────────────██───────██───── ─────────█─────────────▐██▓█──────▌───── ────────▐▌─────────────█──▒▓──────█───── ────────▐▌────────────▐▓──────────█───── ─────────█─────────────█────▒────▓▌───── ─────────█▌────────────▐▓██████▓██▌───── ─────────██──────────────█████████────── ─────────██▒────────────██████████▌───── ─────────████──────────████████████───── ─────────█████▒───────█████████████───── ─────────████████▒─▒████████████████──── ─────────███████████████████████████▌─── ─────────████████████████████████████─── ──────────██████████████████████─████▌── ──────────▐▒███████████████████───████── ─────▐▀▀▀▀▒─█████████████████──────███▌─ ───▐██────▀▀▀███████████████──▄▄▄▄─▐██▌─ ──▐▀──▓───────────▀████▀────▀▀▀──▀█─▐██▌ ──█──█──────────────▒─────────────▌──██▌ ──███─────────────▄▄█▄────────────▌──▐█▌ ───▐███───────▄▀▀▀▀──▐▄▄▄────────▄█▌──█▌ ──────▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀─────────▐▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀██▀───▐▌
September 2021

as a person who has lots of sex all the time

as a person who has lots of sex all the time, i can say that this game is 100% accurate to having sex with sexy women. like i do. everyday. this game did not make me horny however. i am not gay. i just have too much sex with real women to spend more than 15 minutes in this game. on the other hand i would recommend this game to people who do not have sex (unlike me because i have lots of sex with women a lot) as there is a naked woman in it and she is naked. she kinda looks like one of my many girlfriends who i have sex with a lot. i have lots of sex. i also an very handsome and women ALWAYS want to have sex with me because i am very muscular and handsome and very good at video games. all my girlfriends say im very good at sex and playing video games and being handsome. one of my girlfriends asked me to have sex with her but i told her i was playing a sex game instead so she started crying and became a lesbian and killed herself because i did not have sex with her. i have sex with women. not men. i am not gay. i am very cool and handsome so girls always have sex with me because i am very cool and sexy. my penis is very big. all my girlfriends like my penis because it is very big and i am very good at sex with my women. every woman ive had sex with is very sexy and so am i. i have lots of sex. i am also very handsome and sexy and i have lots of sex.
September 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing