[Copypasta] To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at Subway yesterday:

To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at Subway yesterday: I’m sorry I kept referring to Fred’s liberally mayo’d oven-roasted chicken sub as a “bukkake special”. I’m sorry that you kept demanding that your teenage son explain why he was laughing so hard. I’m extra sorry that this turn of events led you to practically yelling “ETHAN, WHAT IS A BUKKAKE SPECIAL?” in the middle of a crowded restaurant.
August 2021
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More Copypastas

They were tears of pain

twitchquotes: They were not tears of salt; they were tears of pain. Jowi03 was devastated after being beaten by Kripp. The supple, 11 year old child wails aloud, his dream shattered, realizing he will never be a professional gamer. “I’m not going 0-3,” Kripp lashes with his sinister tongue. Yes, just another ‘easy win’ for Kripparrian...
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Hearthstone

Boomer anthem

twitchquotes: Please😳 rise 😎 for the 🤨 national 🏁 anthem 🎶 of boomers 🤪 🎺🎺🎺 Video Games 🎮 cause violence 😡👊🏼, Phone 📱 bad 👎, book 📚 good 👍 I hate 😒 my wife 👰 Pause ⏸️ the Fortnite 🥇 please 😤 Funny 🤣 Facebook 😜 minion 🤭 memes 🤪
twitch chat
November 2019

Emoji Pasta

I want JPow to use his full range of tools on me 😫

I want JPow to use his full range of tools on me 😫
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Kripp complains

twitchquotes: The opponent mulligans his cards. "Oh my god dude, are you kidding me?" says Kripp. The opponent plays a 2 drop. "Seriously dude? This is crazy." The opponent draws a card at the start of their turn. "No fckin way dude, I can't beat that." The opponent hero powers. "This is some crazy RNG bullshit" says Kripp.
twitch chat
May 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

salty

This guy's hop is CRAZY

twitchquotes: This guy's hop is CRAZY OSFrog . My croak can't compete against a ribbit like that OSFrog . He lived in the correct swamp OSFrog . He needed precisely those two lily pads to beat me OSFrog . There were no flies I could catch OSFrog . He had the perfect tadpole OSFrog.
twitch chat
July 2015
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing