[Copypasta] To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at Subway yesterday:

To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at Subway yesterday: I’m sorry I kept referring to Fred’s liberally mayo’d oven-roasted chicken sub as a “bukkake special”. I’m sorry that you kept demanding that your teenage son explain why he was laughing so hard. I’m extra sorry that this turn of events led you to practically yelling “ETHAN, WHAT IS A BUKKAKE SPECIAL?” in the middle of a crowded restaurant.
August 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

I'm the Server Manager for PinkieCraft, the Pony Roleplay Minecraft server that you play on

Hi (name), I'm the Server Manager for PinkieCraft, the Pony Roleplay Minecraft server that you play on. On behalf of the owner, the staff team and myself, I would like to personally extend my thanks to you for the $1,000 you forked up to help keep our server alive! Our modeler is happily working on the custom pony character that came with the donor package, however I regret to inform you that we don't currently have a way to send you the 20" "horse shaft" you requested but our team is working on it. Once again, thank you sincerely for the donation, and we hope to see you back on the server soon. Best Regards, PinkieCraft Server Manager "Keep on clopping."
September 2021

Tyler from the seven seas

twitchquotes: So you're going by "MOONMOON" now huh matey? Haha whats up scalleywag, it's Tyler from the seven seas. Remember me? Me and the fellas used to give you a hard time on the water. Sorry you were just an easy target lol. I can see not much has changed. Remember Sarah the old scag you had a crush on? Yeah we're married now. I pillage over 200 isles a year and drive a cream interior sloop. I guess some things never change huh loser? Nice catching up lol. Pathetic.
twitch chat
December 2018
MOONMOON

Tanner from High School

bri'ish accent

stabbed: Oit there mate, bit rude to put that knoife in me chest innit? chewsday: It's chewsday innit? BLM: Black lives ma-a spiderman: peta paka ffs: fuh funk saek ROIGHT wots oll dis den Covid-19: Cowvid Nointeen fuck you: funk yew sub to youtube: subscribe to my youchube you look beautyfull: yu luuk beutiful loaf you gotta be jk: yoove gOHt to be joe king math is hard: mafffmatic is hard, innit!? i saw a film: I soar a film not botherd: I'm not movered harry potter: arry pah uh my son is now foh yes old nice art: Roight, look aat thi meauchiful bloody wohk of aaaht mtdew: mointain jew
April 2021

Dragon Rider

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August 2018

monkaHmm Pepega

twitchquotes: monkaHmm . o O ( Pepega )
twitch chat
July 2019
Text-to-Speech Playing