To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at Subway yesterday:
I’m sorry I kept referring to Fred’s liberally mayo’d oven-roasted chicken sub as a “bukkake special”. I’m sorry that you kept demanding that your teenage son explain why he was laughing so hard. I’m extra sorry that this turn of events led you to practically yelling “ETHAN, WHAT IS A BUKKAKE SPECIAL?” in the middle of a crowded restaurant.
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The year is 2030. The AOC is now the Supreme Emperor of the United States and the Americas
The year is 2030. The AOC is now the Supreme Emperor of the United States and the Americas, and has successfully executed her forced feminization program, converting 72% of the us male population into women, the remaining 28% either existing peacefully as femboy subs or have fled the country, if they're lucky. All references to Dr. Seuss, Mr. Potatohead, and other such martyrs and thoughtcrimes will lead to prompt and inevitable cancellation by means of Jewish space laser. All statues of white people have been torn down and replaced with statues of AOC alongside Mao Zedong and Che Guevara, and the public has thus collectively forgotten about Robert E. Lee. The constitution has its 28th amendment, codifying mandatory cock and ball torture for all penis-having citizens no less than twice a week. It is illegal to say "Merry Christmas". Heterosexual relationships are strictly forbidden. Attack Helicopter, with pronouns brr/brrs, is a gender recognized on the official list of 93. The police have been almost entirely defunded, nationally having an annual budget of $5.30, enough for a single Big Mac Combo Meal. There is a new arm of the state, namely the "rape police" whose sole duty is functionally a secret task force to ensure all consent is affirmative and enthusiastic. All citizens must pledge allegiance to the LGBTQIA+ rainbow flag and swear oaths on White Fragility by Robin DiAngelo. All g*mers have been deported. Mexico is now the 53rd state, behind Puerto Rico and Washington DC. All bathrooms are gender-neutral. Marxism, the theory proposing the government do a lot of things, has become the official state ideology, including mandatory education on critical race theory beginning in pre-K. White people are second class citizens, guilty of being white, and all white people must publicly apologize on the behalf of their race as a coming-of-age ceremony at the beginning of pubescence. Facts now care about feelings.
We will no longer be subjugated by AOC and her inner party, the Squad. The Culture War is not over. We will not be cancelled. We are the resista— radio static
I think Kogmaw would be perfect for your playstyle
twitchquotes:
Hey imaqtpie, there's a new champ named kogmaw who I think would be perfect for your playstyle. Kogmaw is capable of doing damage after he's been killed and I think you could really benefit from that passive ability. Hope this helps!
twitch chat
imaqtpie
League of Legends
KFC rejection letter
Hi Sophie,
Thank you for your application to Team KFC.
We're cluckin' delighted you're keen to join our flock, however at this moment in time your skills aren't the secret recipe the Colonel is looking for.
But we'd love to hear from you again when you have some more experience under your wing, so please give us a cluck if you would like to apply in the future.
Best Wishes,
Team KFC
PunOko
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⡿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
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⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⡶⠟⠀⠀⣈⠓⢤⣶⡶⠿⠛⠻⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢣⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣀⣴⠶⠿⠿⢷⡄⠀⠀⢀⣤⣾⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣡⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣦⣤⣤⡀⠀⢷⡀⠀⠀⣻⣿⣿
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⣿⣷⣽⣦⠀⠀⠙⢷⡀⠀⠀⠙⠻⠿⢿⣷⣾⣿⣶⠾⢟⣥⣾⣿⣧⠀⠂⢀⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣆⣠⣤⣤⣤⣀⣀⡀⠀⠒⢻⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢀⣀⣾⣿⣿
Weebs
You'll be erasing your foes in no time
twitchquotes:
Hey Reynad! Nice to see you streaming again. I see you've decided you want to look like a pencil. Good for you man, follow your dreams. You'll be erasing your foes in no time. 
twitch chat
Reynad