To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at Subway yesterday:
I’m sorry I kept referring to Fred’s liberally mayo’d oven-roasted chicken sub as a “bukkake special”. I’m sorry that you kept demanding that your teenage son explain why he was laughing so hard. I’m extra sorry that this turn of events led you to practically yelling “ETHAN, WHAT IS A BUKKAKE SPECIAL?” in the middle of a crowded restaurant.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
I have a dream that one day Plebs and Subs will Spam together in harmony
twitchquotes:
I have a dream that one day Plebs and Subs will Spam together in harmony. Plebs should be judged not by the frequency of their spam, but the quality of their pasta! So plebs and subs alike copypasta this for the greater good!
twitch chat
Reynad
plebs vs subs
NA is so ba... I should brush my teeth
twitchquotes:
NA is so ba... maybe i should brush my teeth NA is s... maybe i should floss fk give me dentures
NA is so ba... maybe i should brush my teeth NA is s... maybe i should floss fk give me dentures
twitch chat
Kripp
Classic
EU vs NA
Based
"Based"? Are you fucking kidding me? I spent a decent portion of my life writing all of that and your response to me is "Based"? Are you so mentally handicapped that the only word you can comprehend is "Based" - or are you just some fucking asshole who thinks that with such a short response, he can make a statement about how meaningless what was written was? Well, I'll have you know that what I wrote was NOT meaningless, in fact, I even had my written work proof-read by several professors of literature. Don't believe me? I doubt you would, and your response to this will probably be "Based" once again. Do I give a fuck? No, does it look like I give even the slightest fuck about five fucking letters? I bet you took the time to type those five letters too, I bet you sat there and chuckled to yourself for 20 hearty seconds before pressing "send". You're so fucking pathetic. I'm honestly considering directing you to a psychiatrist, but I'm simply far too nice to do something like that. You, however, will go out of your way to make a fool out of someone by responding to a well-thought-out, intelligent, or humorous statement that probably took longer to write than you can last in bed with a chimpanzee. What do I have to say to you? Absolutely nothing. I couldn't be bothered to respond to such a worthless attempt at a response. Do you want "Based" on your gravestone?
Hello Forsen, I am a 32 year old Ecuadorian national
twitchquotes:
Hello Forsen I am a 32 year old Ecuadorian national who is stuck in the US after Reynad refused to pay my airfare home. I need you and your stream to please help me get home to my wife and kid it has been 1 year since my departure and I very much would like to see them again. 
twitch chat
Forsen
Tuck me
twitchquotes:
͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° tuck me ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°
twitch chat
Kripp