To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at Subway yesterday:
I’m sorry I kept referring to Fred’s liberally mayo’d oven-roasted chicken sub as a “bukkake special”. I’m sorry that you kept demanding that your teenage son explain why he was laughing so hard. I’m extra sorry that this turn of events led you to practically yelling “ETHAN, WHAT IS A BUKKAKE SPECIAL?” in the middle of a crowded restaurant.
I used to be a real ad
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BOGGED
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢹⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠄⠄⠄⣰⣿⣿⣶⣾⣾⣶⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⢠⡄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠈⣭⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣴⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡝⢹⣷⣤⣦⣤⣴⣴⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠗⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠷⠂⠈⠙⠛⣿⣿⢟⣽⠿⠿⠌⠙⠛⠄⠄⠄⠄⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⡿⡋⠁⠄⣾⢠⣶⣧⠘⣿⢿⣷⢄⡀⣠⣴⠿⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣵⡶⠶⡛⡋⢉⣿⣧⠄⠈⠛⠋⠑⠉⠁⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠨⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⡋⠄⠸⠃⠄⣼⣿⣿⣆⠄⠄⠐⠒⠂⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣾⡟⢿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⠅⠄⠄⠄⢰⡿⠿⠿⠛⢢⠄⣶⣶⣴⣶⡶⠄⢀⣤⣾⣿⡟⠄⠈⠻⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⡀⠄⠉⠁⠁⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⠟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈
Naughty fun
guys why when a woman gets a vibrator, its seen as a bit of naughty fun. BUT when a guy orders a 240 Volt FuckMaster Pro 5000 blowup latex doll with 6 speed pulsating ***, elasticized anus with non-drip semen collection tray, together with optional built in realistic orgasm scream surround sound system, hes called a pervert?
Classic
I’m a zoomer! Not a shady millenial or a boomer
twitchquotes:
I’m a zoomer! Not a shady millenial or a boomer. I’m a zoomer, not a Gen X’r. Born in the 21th century. I’m a zoomer, i’m yeething and sheeting and peeting and reating. I’m a zoomer, we use internet since we were born. Dancing like fortnight! I’m a zoomer, we don’t know 9/11. I’m a zoomer, we are the 9 year olds. I’m a zoomer!
twitch chat
Approximately 108 billion people have lived on this planet. Who asked?
According to world population studies, approximately 108 billion people have lived on this planet. Assuming that the average lifespan of all these people was 25, there has been around 2.7 trillion years of life, if we multiply this by the number of days in a year (365), there is a total of 985,500,000,000,000 days of life (985.5 trillion days). Not once in any of those days did anybody ask.
Who Asked?
Fedora McTippersen, president of the ultimate gentleman Reddit Group
twitchquotes:
Hey there Mister Michael Santana, i'm Fedora McTippersen, president of the ultimate gentleman Reddit Group. We come to contact you in great euphoria to ask if you wanna join us in our path to enlight the world about atheism. Goodnight, M'lord.
twitch chat
imaqtpie