To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at Subway yesterday:
I’m sorry I kept referring to Fred’s liberally mayo’d oven-roasted chicken sub as a “bukkake special”. I’m sorry that you kept demanding that your teenage son explain why he was laughing so hard. I’m extra sorry that this turn of events led you to practically yelling “ETHAN, WHAT IS A BUKKAKE SPECIAL?” in the middle of a crowded restaurant.
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas
Kripp saved my marriage
twitchquotes:
I was going through a rough time in my marriage where nothing seemed to arouse me anymore. Things had gone stale between me and my wife in bed and divorce seemed inevitable. But then I discovered Kripp's stream and everything changed. There's just something about that vegan bald head that does something to me, and before I knew it my libido was back. I now go at it with my wife at the sounds of "Fuck!" and "Topdeck Flamestrike!" to boost my vigor. Thank you Kripp for saving my marriage.
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Kripp
Hearthstone
Raise your right and yell Kripp is a sellout
RAISE YOUR ⎝ John Wick is in grave danger
twitchquotes:
Epic Fortnite gamers, it's time to rise and grind! John Wick is in grave danger. Our friend is trapped in Dusty Divots surrounded by fake defaults with no shields or weaponry, and the only one who can help is you to save him! What he needs is your credit card number, the three numbers on the back, as well as the expiration month and date. BE SWIFT, GAMERS. You gotta do it. The circle is closing and John Wick needs your assistance fast so that he can acquire that bread, nae nae on those NOOBS, and achieve another SICK W! YEAH!
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Fortnite
spagootie
sometimes i like to pronounce spaghetti as "spagootie" and it has been working out fantastically so far. honestly, this single change has improved my life more than you could ever imagine. i highly suggest everyone try this out and see where your life goes. probably make all your dreams come true in like 5 business days.
next time you have a big bowl of piping hot marina drenched pasta in front of you say "spagootie time!!" or maybe something like "im so ready for this spagootie!" and see where the magic will take you.
If Harambe and my girl both drowning
twitchquotes:
If harambe 🐒 and my girl 👧 😍 both drowning 😱 👋 and I can only save one 😤 😬 Catch me at my girl funeral 😔 👻 🌹 with my dick out 😏 💯 😎 🍆
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