[Copypasta] To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at Subway yesterday:

To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at Subway yesterday: I’m sorry I kept referring to Fred’s liberally mayo’d oven-roasted chicken sub as a “bukkake special”. I’m sorry that you kept demanding that your teenage son explain why he was laughing so hard. I’m extra sorry that this turn of events led you to practically yelling “ETHAN, WHAT IS A BUKKAKE SPECIAL?” in the middle of a crowded restaurant.
August 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

If your girlfriend cheats on you

twitchquotes: If your girlfriend cheats on you, you need to understand that you lacked something that made her cheat, so instead of leaving her for another girl, find out the error in yourself, apologise to her and be a Better man. ✌
twitch chat
June 2019

Jigsaw

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣤⣴⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⡄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦ ⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠋⠄⠄⠉⠿ ⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣶⠒⣦⠄ ⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⠁⠄⣠⠒⡄⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠉⠉⣁⣴ ⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣦⡀⠉⠊⠁⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣭⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⡟⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠉ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢿⣿⣿⣄⠄⠉⠻⠿⠿⣛⣛⣫⣭⣿⣯⠴⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠿⣿⣆⠄⠄⠐⣯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠉⡀⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢄⠉⢻⣷⣄⠄⠐⢄⣨⣥⣤⡷⠖⠁⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⠄⠄⢸⣷⣤⡀⠈⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
October 2018

I thought my parents were rap battling

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck mann fick fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck My parents were fighting and I thought they were rap battling so I came in and started beatboxing. Fuck fuck fuck why am I such an idiot fuck fuck fuck
February 2021

Having sex

May 2021

NSFW

Polish cow 2

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⠔⠂⠀⠀⠀⢤⣤⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⢀⢀⣀⣠⣤⣴⣶⣾⠉⠉⠙⣶⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠰⣿⣷⣾⣿⣷⣴⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⣂⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣤⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣤⣤⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣹⣟⣿⣦⠈⠻⠋⢉⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⢿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡈⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠈⠿⠿⠁⣿⣿⣿⠎⠻⣯⠉⠉⠉⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⢹⣿⢻⠉⠉⠁⠈⠻⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⡟⠀⠀⠈⠳⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⠞⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠳⠤⠤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢈⡟⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠤⠤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣶⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⠂
December 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing