To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at Subway yesterday:
I’m sorry I kept referring to Fred’s liberally mayo’d oven-roasted chicken sub as a “bukkake special”. I’m sorry that you kept demanding that your teenage son explain why he was laughing so hard. I’m extra sorry that this turn of events led you to practically yelling “ETHAN, WHAT IS A BUKKAKE SPECIAL?” in the middle of a crowded restaurant.
I used to be a real ad
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Little Donger and the BDC
Don't Sus With Me, Miss Nagatoro
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠛⠛⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⡄⠀⣃⣠⣤⣬⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠆⠀⠀⠀⣠⣀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⡴⢄⠀⠀⢠⣾⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣦⣽⣼⣀⣜⣠⣿⣿⣴⡄⠀⣽⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠠⢰⠆⢢⣤⣼⣿⣿⣧⣶⣶⡖⠀⠀⠀⢈⣿⣿⣯⣭⣭⠉⠉⠁⠀⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠠⡀⢺⠸⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣥⣤⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣛⣀⣀⡀⣰⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠈⠣⠴⡾⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠻⠿⠿⠛⠿⠿⢛⣿⣿⣿⠇⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⣛⣫⣵⣾⣿⣿⠿⠋⢠⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⢰⣶⣿⣿⣟⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⢸⣿⣦⣝⠻⡿⣡⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢐⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⢀⣤⣴⣶⣿⡹⣿⣿⣿⡟⣵⢰⡟⣴⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⢀⣯⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⣝⣩⣾⣿⢎⣤⣙⣴⣿⣷⡄⠀⠀⣿⡆⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⣿⣷⣌⡿⠿⣛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⡿⣡⡇⠐⠀⣿⣿⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⢀⢻⣿⢏⡶⣿⣿⣿⣷⡍⢿⡷⢟⣫⣭⡛⣰⣿⠣⠁⣸⣿⣿⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢠⠀⡾⣸⣿⣎⢡⣿⢿⣿⡿⢛⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⡇⣋⣭⣧⢺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣸⢀⣇⢿⢸⣿⡘⠏⢼⡟⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣐⣻⣿⠋⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡁⣿⣿⣦⡘⣿⢸⣿⠌⣸⣿⣿⣿⡿⢋⣴⣿⣝⢿⣿⡔⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣬⣛⠿⣷⡍⣾⣿⠀⣿⣿⠿⣫⣔⢿⣿⣿⣿⢘⣿⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢡⣬⣉⣛⠲⠶⠜⣛⣒⣤⣤⣛⣛⣿⣆⣉⡛⠉⣈⣥⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⢿⣿⣿⣿⢻⣷⣶⠆⣤⣤⣤⡄⢠⣤⣤⣤⣄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄⣿⣿⣿⡏⢸⣿⣿⠀⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⢠⢠⣿⣿⣿⠃⣺⣿⣿⠀⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⡇⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⠀⣿⣿⣿⠀⣿⣿⣿⣧⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣦⡀⣭⣭⣭⣭⣤⣭⡍⠉⠀⠛⠛⠻⠿⠈⣥⣤⣤⠀⠀⠼⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⣤⣝⠻⣿⣿⣿⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠘⠛⠿⠸⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢟⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⣍⣛⣛⠛⠿⠿⢛⣋⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣠⣤⣬⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
Among Us / Amogus
Bitcoin
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣼⣿⡿⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⢸⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⣸⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠸⠿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣷⠀⠀
⠀⢠⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣧⠀
⠀⣾⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⢀⣠⣿⣿⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⠀
⠀⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣥⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⠀
⠀⢿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⠀
⠀⠘⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⡟⠀
⠀⠀⢹⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⢰⣶⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⠿⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⡿⠀⠀
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢻⣿⣷⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣾⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⢿⣿⣷⣶⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣴⣾⣿⣿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠛⠻⠿⠿⠿⠿⠟⠛⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Romanian Salt Baron
twitchquotes:
POLICE REPORT - Canadian Mounties have at last apprehended the "Romanian Salt Baron" after suspiciously salty whining was heard outside of a dingy apartment in Toronto. The Salt Baron, a morose, balding gypsy man, was at the time playing a children's card game when Mounties burst through the door. The man attempted to resist by "brofisting" the officials, but his scrawny vegan arms had no effect. The man's wife then assumed her true Succubus form and escaped into the Nether. More at 11.
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