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Only the saltiest one can hold both salts

twitchquotes: PJSalt ___ PJSalt only the saltiest one can hold both salt cans āŽ Kappa āŽ 
twitch chat
May 2016
Kripp

i got this new anime plot

i got this new anime plot. basically thereā€™s this high school girl except sheā€™s got huge boobs. i mean some serious honkers. a real set of badonkers. packin some dobonhonkeros. massive dohoonkabhankoloos. big olā€™ tonhongerekoogers. what happens next?! transfer student shows up with even bigger bonkhonagahoogs. humongous hungolomghononoloughongous
July 2019

Weebs

Anime

Classic

What happened to this ad? :(

How do I get my husband to stop going ā€˜Goblin Modeā€™ during sex?

How do I get my husband to stop going ā€˜Goblin Modeā€™ during sex? TLDR; My husband says ā€˜Goblin Mode activatedā€™ when we start to have sex, growls and acts like a caveman, and then says ā€˜Goblin Mode offā€™ when we stop, and then pretends not to remember afterward. I really love my husband and heā€™s always been great in bed. But recently heā€™s been acting really weird. So, a couple of days ago, my son went on a rampage through our house and said he was in ā€˜Goblin Modeā€™. We didnā€™t really know what to do with him, so we sent him to live with my parents so he can go to a special needs school. My husband a really great relationship with our son and loved him more than anything. Naturally, he was upset when he had to leave. Heā€™s an incredibly tough man, but this was the first time Iā€™ve ever seen him cry. I think since then, heā€™s been a little emotionally unwell. Iā€™ve heard him muttering, ā€˜Goblinā€™ repeatedly when he didnā€™t notice me, staring blankly into his food, and just going alone by himself to do who knows what. I feel awful for him, but we both agreed that this was for the best. Last night, the day after our son went away, we decided to have sex to relieve our stress. However, my husband said ā€˜Goblin Mode activatedā€™, starting growling, and went wild having sex with me. Admittedly, it was some of the best and most experimental sex Iā€™ve ever had, but Iā€™m worried that something might be going on with my husband. Any advice? Edit: The problem isnā€™t the ā€˜Goblin Modeā€™, itā€™s that he could be ill
July 2022

Confessions

Classic

Adapt created, quest activated, now we Jebaited

twitchquotes: Jebaited BATTLECRY OUTDATED Jebaited DISCOVERY OVERRATED Jebaited ADAPT CREATED Jebaited QUEST ACTIVATED Jebaited LONG HAVE WE WAITED Jebaited NOW WE JEBAITED Jebaited
twitch chat
February 2017

Hearthstone

Ban one American, get the whole McDonald's

twitchquotes: OpieOP ban OpieOP one OpieOP american OpieOP and OpieOP you OpieOP get OpieOP the OpieOP whole OpieOP mcdonalds OpieOP
twitch chat
April 2017

MODS

Ban X Get The Whole Y

EU vs NA

I used to be a real ad

Navy Seal

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.
April 2019

Classic

Navy Seal

I fucked Up DVD

Earlier today I was really horny, and I saw what I thought to be a blank DVD. I thought, DVDs have a tight hole, they might feel pretty good. So I put my soft pp into the hole of the DVD, and for a few seconds as I started getting harder, it felt pretty good, but then, once I was fully erect, it started being painful. My pp was stuck in the DVD, and I had to break it in half to get if out. It was then when I flipped the broken DVD over and realized that it was not a blank DVD, but a copy of the Pixar movie Up.. Well guys, guess I fucked up.
April 2022

Classic

Imagine spamming chat

twitchquotes: Imagine going to an online chat and spamming it with brainless text for no reason.
twitch chat
April 2019

Classic

Start with something small like your intelligence

twitchquotes: I've heard shoving things up your ass is quite painful so you might want to start with something small like your intelligence and build up to bigger things like your ego
twitch chat
March 2020

Classic

PUCK THE FLEBS

twitchquotes: PUCK THE FLEBS forsenGASM forsenGun PUCK THE FLEBS forsenGASM forsenGun PUCK THE FLEBS forsenGASM forsenGun PUCK THE FLEBS forsenGASM forsenGun PUCK THE FLEBS forsenGASM forsenGun PUCK THE FLEBS forsenGASM forsenGun PUCK THE FLEBS forsenGASM forsenGun PUCK THE FLEBS forsenGASM forsenGun PUCK THE FLEBS forsenGASM forsenGun PUCK THE FLEBS
twitch chat
March 2016
Forsen

plebs vs subs

Waiting for adblock to be disabled

Your deck is insane, Trump said

twitchquotes: "Your deck is insane." Trump said, as he slipped his feminine hand into Kripp's pants and smirked. "Are you trying to top-deck me?" protests Kripp, as Trump blushes, the boyish figure undressed before Kripp. "Weak tempo play, Trump." The two kissed, deeply and passionately, and afterwards Trump places his Leper Gnome into Kripp's Twisting Nether.
twitch chat
April 2016
Kripp

Classic

Hearthstone

KappaPride

If you shit in the sink at exactly 4:20 am and yell ā€œamogusā€ 69 times

If you shit in the sink at exactly 4:20 am and yell ā€œamogusā€ 69 times,a shadowy figured called mom will come to beat you up and you will wake up in a place called the orphanage
May 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Classic

The phrase ā€œitā€™s just a gameā€ is such a weak mindset

twitchquotes: The phrase ā€œitā€™s just a gameā€ is such a weak mindset. You are ok with what happened, losing, imperfection of a craft. When you stop getting angry after losing, youā€™ve lost twice. Thereā€™s always something to learn, and always room for improvement, never settle.
twitch chat
February 2020
Ninja

Subbin to Bjergsen when his emote is free

twitchquotes: subbing haHAA to bjergsen haHAA when haHAA his haHAA emote haHAA is haHAA free haHAA
twitch chat
January 2017
Bjergsen

PROCOL FOR LOSING IN ARENA

twitchquotes: PROTOCOL FOR LOSING IN ARENA: 1 - Blame deck. 2 - If deck is good, blame RNG. 3 - If deck is good and RNG goes your way, blame going second. 4 - If deck is good, RNG goes your way, and went first, blame opponent's crazy deck/RNG/opponent topdecking answers. 5 - If all else fails, blame snipers with wild decks.
twitch chat
April 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

I used to be a real ad

Chat tries to convince Kripp to play Weasel Tunneler

twitchquotes: šŸæ Every minute, a poor weasel dies from starvation due to unemployment. You, yes, YOU nl_Kripp, can make a difference. By playing at least one weasel in every deck, you ensure a living wage for weasels worldwide. Then again, you could just let them starve, the choice is yours šŸæ
twitch chat
December 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

Stream snipers

twitchquotes: One day, the Papa asks Kripp to go fishing, Kripp shrugs, ā€œAlright, but catch and release only ā€“ Iā€™m vegan.ā€ They arrive at the local pristine clear waters of an Ontario stream brimming with wild trout and prepare to fish. Suddenly Kripp shouts, ā€œGet down!ā€. A crack sounds through the air, and the Papa sees Kripp on the ground bleeding. His final words are, ā€œFucking stream snipers.ā€
twitch chat
May 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

Just taking Reynad for a walk

twitchquotes: ā•­( Ķ”Ā° ĶœŹ– Ķ”Ā°)ā•Æā•²_____ PJSalt Oh, don't mind me, just taking Reynad for a walk.
twitch chat
November 2014
Reynad

Classic

salty

Only one cure to the memes

twitchquotes: there's only one cure to the memes FeelsGoodMan ĢæĢæ ĢæĢæ ĢæĢæ Ģæ'Ģæ'\ĢµĶ‡ĢæĢæ\ there's only one cure to the memes FeelsGoodMan ĢæĢæ ĢæĢæ ĢæĢæ Ģæ'Ģæ'\ĢµĶ‡ĢæĢæ\
twitch chat
May 2016
imaqtpie
(ā–€ĢæĹĢÆā”œā”¬ā”“ā”¬ā”“ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?

The tragedy of United Airlines the Overbooked

twitchquotes: Did you ever hear the tragedy of United Airlines the Overbooked? I thought not. Itā€™s not a story the CEO would tell you. Itā€™s a sky legend. United Airlines was an Airline of the sky, so powerful and so overbooked he could use Force to influence the passengers to give up their seatsā€¦ He had such a knowledge of the police that he could even keep the employees he cared about from not having a seat. The police's use of Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerfulā€¦ the only thing he was afraid of was losing his seat, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice KO'd him and took his seat. Ironic. He could save others from losing their seats, but not himself.
twitch chat
April 2017

Tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise

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