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Hello gentleman, I have suffered a loss of 69K

Hello gentleman, I regretfully wish to share with you all that I shant comment on this Internet forum henceforth. As of the time of my arrival in this past autumn, I have suffered a loss of 69K. By the blessing of Lady Luck, I am still experiencing a positive net balance of 420%, so I have come to the conclusion I must liquidate my insignificant phallus account. I shall use this fortune for procuring a vaginal enlargement and acquire tremendous breasts for my OnlyAristocracy parchment. Or I may be devilish and maintain an investment position in TournamentCease. I am short of hours of leisure in life, training dogs to consume peanut butter from the reaches of my posterior and can not bare the rapid change of value of my investment holdings of 40 point 7 grand. I am aware that you, my peers of this financial derivatives Internet forum are filled with ecstasy to become privy to this, so copulate with yourself, I desire you all to be ablaze in nonheteronormative ursine hell in tandem with Sadam.
March 2021

WallStreetBets

SHOVE A HAMSTER

twitchquotes: ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ SHOVE A HAMSTER IN MY ASS ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ
twitch chat
March 2014
Reynad
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Mythological Topdecking Skills

twitchquotes: Eᴜʀᴇᴋᴀ, Kʀɪᴘᴘᴀʀɪᴀɴ! I ᴀᴍ Pᴇʀɪᴋʟᴇs Tᴇsᴛɪᴋʟᴇs, Rᴀɴɪᴀ's ғᴀᴛʜᴇʀ. Wᴇ ᴀʀᴇ so ʜᴀᴘᴘʏ sʜᴇ ʜᴀs ғɪɴᴀʟʟʏ ғoᴜɴᴅ ᴀ ʙᴇᴀʀᴅᴇᴅ ᴍᴀɴ wɪᴛʜ ᴍʏᴛʜoʟoɢɪcᴀʟ ᴛoᴘᴅᴇcᴋɪɴɢ sᴋɪʟʟs ᴀɴᴅ ᴀ sɪᴢᴀʙʟᴇ ᴍoᴜɴᴛᴀɪɴ ɢɪᴀɴᴛ! Kᴜᴅos ᴛo ʏoᴜ ᴀɴᴅ ᴘʟs ɴo ᴀɴɢʀʏ cʜɪcᴋᴇɴ ᴛᴇᴛʀᴀᴢᴢɪɴo.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Hello. I am a 15 year old Rhinoceros

twitchquotes: Hello. I am a 15 year old Rhinoceros. The only problem is that my horn on my head is soft and limp. As you may know this is very devastating to a rhino like myself. If there are any rhinos out there that can help me with my problem it would be appreciated. Please dont copy paste this. This is my story.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kolento

This the leader of all Greek people, John Stamos

twitchquotes: Dear Kripp, this is the leader of all Greek people, John Stamos. It is with great pain that I have to ask you to leave my country. Everyone is afraid of the "very casual looking man" with the "perverted fists." I am sorry but you're not welcome here anymore. No Copopolous Pastopolous Linguinoristopoulos
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
I used to be a real ad

Kripp, eat chicken

twitchquotes: Kripp this is Dr. Zeus Stromboloupolous. We need you to immediately star drinking MILK and EAT chicken at least once every week. Otherwise RIP is veganiro pepperoni
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Please stop the ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ in your chat

twitchquotes: Hello KRIPP aka GRIPPARRIAN. Please stop the ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ in your chat. I am from dubai and "ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ " means "your aunt has a goat ***" in arabic. I am watching with family after my aunt's funeral and we all find this extremely offensive. Will subscribe so you can fist me like a bro when it stops. Please no dan marino gran torino
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Atheists … what if you die and you find out it is all real?

I’m not trying to be an asshole. Think about this before answering. Atheists … what if you die and you find out it is all real? God, the Bible, Jesus, death on a cross, resurrection … all of it. What then?
June 2022

Memeing harder than anyone I've ever seen on this website

twitchquotes: wow dude you just memed harder than anyone i've ever seen on this website. How many memes did you acquire before graduating from Memeing University? Do you meme over 9000 times a day, because the fact that you are such an expert memer points in that direction. God damn I have never seen a meme as epic and dank as this in my entire life, and i am quite the meme master myself, creating over 500 popular memes on the mememunity s4s and danking and memeing for the last five years (though you obviously experience time in meme years at this point, which makes me meme my meme to you sir, i mean meme) I really wish i could meme as hard as you because than my meme would meme and then memes would be dank as a meme! rite, amirite? lol and lel and kek but really sir, thank you for being dank as *** and posting such sweet meme as this, it made me meme until my meme went memeside out and meme'd me harder than a meme memeing meme you fuggin meme :D
twitch chat
November 2014
TheRace

Upside-dong

twitchquotes: ( ͜o ͡ʖ ͜o) im upside-dong ( ͜o ͡ʖ ͜o)
twitch chat
August 2014
MushIsGosu
Waiting for adblock to be disabled

This is Trump News reporting

twitchquotes: This is Trump News reporting. A new craze is sweeping Greece where submissives, known as 'Subs' are being brutally brofisted for only 5 dollars! The man responsible for this is currently in hiding under a pile of pizza boxes.
twitch chat
May 2015
Trump

Hello Kripp, this is your mother

twitchquotes: Hello kripp. This is your mother, I saw that "brofist" you just gave to one of your subscribers. Don't make me come to Athens and make you give him a better brofist. Haven't I taught you better fisting? Love always, mum
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Kripp please lick knee twice

twitchquotes: ʜᴇʟʟᴏ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘᴀʀʀɪɴᴏ ᴍʏ ʟᴏᴠᴇ, ᴛʜɪs ɪs Rᴀɴɪᴀ. Mʏ ᴛᴏɴɢᴜᴇ ᴀʟʟ ᴛɪʀᴇᴅ ᴏᴜᴛ ғʀᴏᴍ ʟɪᴄᴋɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜʀ sᴡᴇᴇᴛ ᴋɴᴇᴇ ᴊᴜɪᴄᴇ ᴀʟʟ ɴɪɢʜᴛ. ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ ʟɪᴄᴋ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴋɴᴇᴇ ᴛᴡɪᴄᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ɪɴ ʀᴇᴡᴀʀᴅ ɪ ʀᴀɪsᴇ ᴜʀ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀ. ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ ɴᴏ ᴀʟ ᴘᴀᴄɪɴᴏ.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Chuck Testa and Cattarian

twitchquotes: Hey Kripparian its me Chuck Testa. I'd personally like to Taxidermize your friend beast Cattarian. "Hey Kripp, it's me Cattarian and I approve of this method!" NOOOOPE it's just me Chuck Testa. Your cat would appreciate being worshiped and praised in the afterlife though. So, lets get that cats body and let me do my hobby.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Papparian returns from a business trip

twitchquotes: Hello Kripp, Papparian here. I recently returned from my business trip. All the furniture is gone, my bank accounts are empty and I found out you moved to Europe. What in the heck is going on???
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp
What happened to this ad? :(

Kripp when do you start being a sellout?

twitchquotes: Hello Kripp, Just wondering when you're going to start selling Nvidia™ Tshirts and Cups?, Or even better, Do you think we can get some HyperX™ ram discounts on G2A®? While you're at it, I think you should have some giveaways for Subway® Giftcards™?
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

sellout

without throwing your cat across the room

twitchquotes: Hello this is Twitch staff. Unfortunately we have been notified that you have now reached 24 hours of stream time without throwing your cat across the room. As stated in our TOS, we require that all streamers must throw at least one pet a distance of 3 metres on camera in order to maintain the ability to stream. Failure to do so will result in your stream being disabled permanently. We will now unfortunately have to terminate your account. Thank you for your cooperation.
twitch chat
November 2019

Pedo bear: come into my house

twitchquotes: __̴ı̴̴̡̡̡ ̡͌l̡̡̡ ̡͌l̡*̡̡ ̴̡ı̴̴̡ ̡̡͡|̲̲̲͡͡͡ ̲▫̲͡ ̲̲̲͡͡π̲̲͡͡ ̲̲͡▫̲̲͡͡ ̲|̡̡̡ ̡ ̴̡ı̴̡̡ ̡͌l̡̡̡̡.__come into my house ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ
twitch chat
September 2014
Kripp

Leifman is awkward

twitchquotes: When leifman talk the mumble automatically go to awkward. Leifman get rekt by the kripp and feel at one with the cringe. all becoming unmod leifman.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp
I used to be a real ad

Hi Kripp, it's Jarl Balgruuf the Greater

twitchquotes: Hi Kripp it's Jarl Balgruuf the Greater. I heard you are trying to play other games when we need you here at Skyrim to clean up the dragons. Quit what you are doing right now and come join me as the new Whiterun Thane. My axe is ready as your reward.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing