[Copypasta] Kripp please pet your cat

twitchquotes: Hello Kripparian, Leon Tidewellow here, CEO of PETA. My sources tell me that you haven't pet your cat in over 3 years, and thats a little too long. I'll give you 5 minutes, if you don't pet the cat then you WILL be brofisted. Have a nice day!.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
I used to be a real ad
More Kripp Copypastas

A severe lack of cute emotes in chat

twitchquotes: Konichiwa Kripp-kun AYAYA . This is your kawaii kouhai Aya-chan, calling in from Nihon. I have noticed a severe lack of cute emotes in chat tonight, and instead all I see are baka dansgame and baka nammers. This is not very sugoi, and I would appreciate it if your chat showed more respect for Japanese culture by typing kawaii emotes like AYAYA and AstolfoSmile . Arigato gozaimasu <3
twitch chat
February 2019
Kripp

Weebs

Classic

This guy's girlfriend is CRAZY!

twitchquotes: β˜‘ β€œThis guy's girlfriend is CRAZY!” β˜‘ β€œMy Rania can't win against a hot blonde like that” β˜‘ "She NEEDED precisely those two big breasts to win" β˜‘ "She had the perfect cameltoe" β˜‘ β€œThere was nothing I couldn't do to her” β˜‘ β€œI ate her perfectly” β˜‘ β€œWhat a slut”
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

This Copypasta Is CRAZY!

Trump wakes up chained to the wall

twitchquotes: Trump wakes up chained to the wall of a small room with Kripp standing over him. Orange Juice begins pouring from the walls, quickly filling the space. Trump screams in horror as he struggles to get free. Kripp walks out, shuts the door and sits down to begin his stream, the white wall of the death chamber visible behind him for all his viewers to see
twitch chat
July 2015
Kripp

Everyone please STOP SPAMMING

twitchquotes: Everyone, please STOP SPAMMING, it is very INCONSIDERATE of the folks who are trying to have REAL CONVERSATIONS. Plz no copy pastarino Frappaccino-mochaccino-capuccino, macarino Eddie Pasterino pepperoncino kakaino poopieino peepeeino dickarino assarino skillswiperino salterino bad-luckerino Al Pacino with his dongerino in San Bernardino.
twitch chat
May 2014
Kripp

Brofist

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–’β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–„β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–„β–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–’β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–’β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–’β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆ β–‘β–ˆβ–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–’β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–’β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆ β–„β–€β–ˆβ–“β–“β–‘β–ˆβ–’β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–“β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–‘β–‘β–“β–„β–ˆ β–ˆβ–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–‘ β–ˆβ–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–„β–€β–‘β–„β–€β–“β–„β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘ β–ˆβ–’β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–€β–€β–„β–€β–ˆβ–„β–„β–€β–„β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘
February 2015
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing