[Copypasta] SAVE THE INTERNET

twitchquotes: "SAVE THE INTERNET" refers to the imminent removal of net neutrality, which requires Internet Service Providers (ISPs) to treat the provision of internet service as a UTILITY not a LUXURY, thereby requiring them to provide it FAIRLY to EVERYONE, and not just people/businesses who pay premiums to receive the same service as before. It also restricts them from unfairly throttling speeds and access to specific websites. If net neutrality is abolished, Twitch will be inaccessible to most Americans.
twitch chat
July 2017
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What the heck did you just flipping say about me, you big meanie?

What the heck did you just flipping say about me, you big meanie? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Tiny Tots Program, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on the girl's bathroom, and I have over 300 confirmed noogies. I am trained in Nerf warfare and I have the most gold stars in the entire kindergarten class. You are nothing to me but just another butthead. I will beat you the heck up with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my dang words. You think you can get away with saying that baloney to me on the glowy type-box? Think again, doodiehead. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of teachers across the USA and your parents are being called to pick you up right now so you better prepare for the spanking, junior. The spanking that wipes out the dumb little thing you call your playtime. You're in big darn trouble, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can wedgie you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed fartfights, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States PTA and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your dorky bottom off the face of the playground, you little poopypants. If only you could have known what serious punishments your little "smartypants" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your goshdarned tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you silly doofus. I will spray boogers all over you and you will cry about it. You're frickin grounded, buttmunch...
August 2021

Navy Seal

Why is six afraid of seven? Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam

Why is six afraid of seven? Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. He can seldom close his eyes without opening them again at fear of Charlies lurking in the jungle trees. Not that you could ever see the bastards, mind you. They were swift, and they knew their way around the jungle like nothing else. He remembers the looks on the boys' faces as he walked into that village and... oh, Jesus. The memories seldom left him, either. Sometimes he'd reminisce - even hear - Tex's southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn's cigarettes like nothing else. He always kept a pack of Lucky's with him. The boys are gone, now. He knows that; it's just that he forgets, sometimes. And, every now and then, the way that seven looks at him with avid concern in his eyes... it makes him think. Sets him on edge. Makes him feel like he's back there... in the jungle.
August 2021

Classic

If you are a view bot, please type MrDestructoid

twitchquotes: This is an automatic message from Amaz. I've lost some of my viewbots. If you are a viewbot, please type MrDestructoid in comments so then I can count you all. Thank you.
twitch chat
October 2015
Amaz

Viewbots

Donkey Kong

โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–ˆโ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ”€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ”€โ”€ โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–Œโ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„ โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–ˆโ–‘โ–โ–โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ”€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–’โ–ˆโ–‘โ–โ–โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–„โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ–„โ–„โ”€โ”€โ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–ˆโ–’โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–’โ–ˆโ–‘โ–โ–โ–„โ”€โ–€โ–€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ–€โ–€โ”€โ–„โ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–ˆโ–’โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–’โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–€โ”€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–’โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–„โ–ˆ โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€ โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€
ascii art
September 2021

Do British people even exist?

Do british people actually exist? I mean, they must be a meme, there is a not a single thing about them. And I mean it. Let's go through the evidence: Where are they from? Not a single country in the world is named Britain. Some people say they come from England, and England is inside Britain, but if that was the case they would be British they would be Englanders. Also, heard some silly theories about them coming from whales. Guys, no, whale people do not exist. Whales live in the sea. There is a consensus on British people coming from Europe, but then we are left with a whole continent of possible locations. That's as good as nothing. What do they eat? Every country has at least one main dish. Even the US has their burgers. But these British people, what do they eat? Heard some people associating them with tea, but everyone knows that's an Asian thing. Shouldn't they come from Europe? One of these two points must be wrong them. To me, it looks too sketchy. What language do they speak? I challenge you, putting all my money and my ass on the line here, to find a supposed ""British"" person speaking their native language. Most of then just speak a broken ENGLISH. Yes, english. Really suspicious, huh? And I even tried to look deeper into it. Maybe british just SOUND like english, just like spanish could sound like portuguese for a non-speaker. So I looked up "british dictionary on google" and what I found was shocking: every word in there was AMERICAN. I kid you not. What this could mean is beyond my capabilities, but I can safely assure you that british people do not exist .
December 2020

British People

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